GREAT NEWS. JUST WHAT YOU WANTED. MORE OF ME & ADAM TALKING.
Welcome to Natural Disasters, our podcast about Kanye, Rick & Morty, and wine. Mostly wine. But who's to say. First episode is live, drinking Martha Stouman, talking about Kanye and the perils of serving natural wine BTG. New episodes every Friday. Also it’s our first episode & we will have guests soon & I promise we will get better just like that Ira Glass quote I repeat to myself every morning tells me. Don’t forget to like/subscribe/follow/comment (only nice things)/rate (only five stars). Shouts & many thanks to my boy Ted Feighan for the music, it’s not a true MAR joint without Monster Rally. ❤️
Apparently I still have a thing for smug, artsy dudes. Domaine de La Chappe's “André” Pinot Noir is a wild romp through brambles of high acid raspberry, black cherries and the orange-hued innards of early summer plums, wet from rhythmic suburban sprinklers. It has these overtones of Brett and whispers of VA that make me suspicious, and somehow make me love it more. It's so easy and fun, I want to fight with it, in the same way you want to fight with a grade school crush. I want to push its buttons, because it's pushing mine. It's making me want to use the word "funky," which is my least favorite descriptor. I feel like it's poking and prodding and teasing me into submission. Like I'm going to end up rolling around on the rug laughing and screaming "ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, FINE OK 'FUNKY' IS AN OK DESCRIPTOR AND ISN'T JUST A WORD WE USE TO IGNORE TRULY FUCKED UP WINES OK OK YOU WIN JUST MAKE OUT WITH ME OR WHATEVER YOU FUNKY DICK... WAIT THAT CAME OUT WRONG... yeah, no you're right, my mom is going to be home soon."
“‘Controversial’ wine columnist Marissa A. Ross unexpectedly died last night at local pizzeria, Cosa Buona. While it is unclear whether the writer was physically crushed by a Jeroboam of Partida Creus, or virtually drown her own insides in the Vinel-Lo, sources close to Ross say this is how she would have wanted to go. ‘She always quoted that Kendrick song ya know, always saying she would die for this shit,’ her husband, Ben, told Channel Seven. Ross, just shy of 32, was most known for chugging from the bottle, cussing too much, and ‘The Watcher’ Instastory videos. She is survived by her husband, sister, dogs, and that cat no one knows she has.”
François Saint-Lô "Hey Gro!!" Varietal: Grolleau Region: Loire, France Year: 2016 Price: $27 Retailer: Lou Wine Shop Importer: Terrell Wines
There's only so long one can go before they're back on their bullshit. Approximately three months if we're talking about me and light red wines.
I've been flirting with méthode Champenoise bubbles, lusting traditional Burgundy, and sneaking around with vintage Barolo. But no matter what transcendent Chardonnay crosses my dinner table or what new wave Merlot that "gets me thinking" is poured, what really gets my thighs tingling is a light-bright, tart-pop red.
But not all light reds are the same. Just because a bottle is natural and under thirteen percent does not make it great, just like ninety-five points or a buck-fifty price tag doesn't make a bottle even enjoyable.
Same goes for hip-hop. And François Saint-Lô's "Hey Gro" Grolleau drinks like a Chance the Rapper album. Yes, you can party with it-- it's extremely fun and poppy-- but at the same time, it has a real flow, is engaging, and worth musing over. Its acidity pulls off energetic spikes effortlessly and its vibrant red fruit notes ring with raw enthusiasm ("AH! AH! AH! AHHH!"), like an Echo iMessage of the full-grinned emoji in your mouth. It pulls you in with its technique, and holds you with soft roots of spice. It's bold, it's bouncy, it's quick, but it's also rhythmic, smooth, and at times emotional.
Perhaps that last part is just me.
Some of the recent conversations around natural wine have been disheartening at best. At worst, they have been uninformed, petty, and/or downright fucking crotchety. But when I drink a wine like this, I can taste with every bud on my tongue and feel with every ounce in my being that those people are wrong. Natural wine isn't just poorly made bullshit with "cool" labels, and glou-glou is still great, god damn it.
And if you'd like to try to stop me, I'll be the crazy "Hey Gro!!" fan waiting in the lobby.
Tasting Notes: Translucent but cloudy, red poppies on the eyes. Goji berries and cranberries tossed with white pepper & allspice on the nose. Light bodied and high acid, the palate is bright and bursting with tart, crunchy cranberries, jellied raspberry seeds, and a lasting air of salty eucalyptus and breathy tannins. There is Brett, but well-integrated. A truly joyous bottle that is easy to drink yet interesting and endlessly delicious. Good open for hours, although I dare you to not drink it all in thirty minutes flat.
Also, revisited a bottle I opened three days ago and had in the fridge corked, and I'm floored that it is still good! The Brett is more pronounced, a little VA, and there is the slightest hint of mouse, but as someone who is super sensitive to mouse, I don't think most people would notice it. I mean, I'm currently having a glass of it, that's how good it still is. Fine. I had two glasses. Who's counting.
Ross Test: I know pearl clutching usually refers to someone reacting to something scandalous or heinous, but you can also clutch your pearls and rip them off out of pure ecstasy as proven by chugging this wine. #1 ROSS TEST OF JANUARY 2018 FOR SURE.
Lucy Margaux Wildman Blanc Varietal: Sauvignon Blanc Region: Adelaide Hills, Australia Year: 2016 Price: ~$35 (Sorry I was buzzed when I bought it & can't find the receipt) Retailer: Ordinaire Distributor: T. Edward
My father-in-law is quite a character, the kind of guy who is usually addressed as The Danimal and starts most of his stories with, "Well, we were on quaaludes..." This past weekend, he was telling me about this time he and his buddy were waterskiing when they decided to drop their trunks and proceed to drop into a bay that was home to an upscale resort. They literally blew by, waving at stunned onlookers on the shore. The cops eventually came, looking for a green boat and two nude dudes, but with their shorts safely on, they denied any involvement with the heathens.
If there was ever a wine to pair with such beachy debauchery, it would be the Lucy Margaux Wildman Blanc. Unlike the grassy, green Sauv-Blancs from down under, this bottle is rip-roaringly fruity, fun, and fucking delicious.
The Wildman Blanc smells like you just won a Hawaiian vacation on K-Earth 101. (They don't call it the Hawaiian Vacation Station for nothing.) Stunningly tropical, you are whisked off to an island paradise as soon as your nose dips into the glass. Passionfruit, deep papaya, pineapple, mango, those little Cuties, yeah, they're all there. In their bikinis. Covered in tanning oil. Piña Coladas in hand. Being like, COME! COME WATERSKI WITH US! NAKED!
It doesn't taste much different. In fact, it tastes exactly like it smells, but add bitter grapefruit pith. And the fact that your clothes are already off, a refreshing acidity breezing through your buttcheeks as you ride along the salty waves with a minerality that jabs at you like seashells along the ocean floor. Part of you is like, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON I'M WATERSKIING NAKED WITH A FRUIT BASKET COME TO LIFE. And the other part of you is like, LET'S DO IT AGAIN!
It's wild, man. But in the best way possible, because while it's completely different than any other Sauvignon Blanc I've ever had, it's still extremely accessible. In fact, it's quite possibly one of the most accessible natural white wines I've had. Its fruit-forwardness will please even the most timid drinkers while the complexity of all that fruit will intrigue even the most heady wine nerds.
Tasting Notes: Peachy keen and cloudy on the eyes. Again, the bouquet is very tropical and citric with hints of coconut suntan lotion, and same with the palate, but pithy and salty. It's one of those wines that is so delicious it makes you forget alcohol is involved. Extremely juicy and pure, yet dry and textured, this is is a must-drink wine. It does take on reductive notes the longer its open, but still drinks very well even the next day. Sans soufre AND very stable? A WINNER in my book.
Ross Test: HEAVENLY. ALTHOUGH FAIR WARNING, IT WILL MAKE YOU WANT TO TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF.