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The Poke by John Plunkett - 4h ago

Complaint letter of the day goes to this poor chap who was the victim of an unfortunate practical joke.

It was shared by Redditor Cliff3317 who introduced it with this.

‘This guy really hates mustard.’

And he does, he really does.

Source

The post Complaint letter of the day appeared first on The Poke.

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Theresa May as Kramer in this scene from our favourite Seinfeld episode is today’s best thing.

 
 
 
View this post on Instagram

Theresa May is no longer “Master of her Domain” #theresamay #ukpolitics #highqualitygifs #elpinko #seinfeld #thecontest #imout

A post shared by elpinko (@elpinkosp) on May 24, 2019 at 6:05am PDT

And just in case you needed a reminder of the context (or excuse to enjoy it again …)

Kramer's Out | Seinfeld | TBS - YouTube

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Our favourite 33 things people are saying after Theresa May resigns as prime minister

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The post Theresa May added to the ‘Contest’ episode in Seinfeld is just beautifully done appeared first on The Poke.

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Here’s a chap called Chris Pender, who was standing for the Social Democrats in the local elections in Ireland and had the perfect response to the people who did this to his campaign poster.

Chris, former chair of Kildare LGBT, shared a picture of him standing next to it on Twitter..

And this is what Chris had to say about it.

This kind of vandalism to my #LE19 poster this close to election is just uncalled for and to say I’m disappointed is an understatement. I mean come on all you had to do was change the P to a B for shame Newbridge for shame pic.twitter.com/JwcullHzy9

— Chris Pender (@ChrisPenderKE) May 22, 2019

‘This kind of vandalism to my #LE19 poster this close to election is just uncalled for and to say I’m disappointed is an understatement. I mean come on all you had to do was change the P to a B for shame Newbridge for shame’

And this is what people made of it.

Brilliant. Hope your good humoured response wins you a few votes.

— Steve (@whydidfIy) May 22, 2019

Perfect response. Hope it’s going well for you Chris, you’ve certainly put the work in. Good luck Friday if I dont get the chance to say it to you tomorrow

— Mick Caul (@caulmick) May 22, 2019

excellent reply

— Meda (@IrlMeda) May 22, 2019

Pretty much the only reply really and to be fair I think their smiley shows it was meant as a joke

— Chris Pender (@ChrisPenderKE) May 22, 2019

Haha omg I can't believe they missed that. A fine response, sir!

— Luke R J Major (@lrjmajor) May 23, 2019

In fairness, my name is right on the bottom of the poster so as another commenter said maybe they just weren't prepared to stoop so low

— Chris Pender (@ChrisPenderKE) May 23, 2019

Just perfect Chris!

— Sean Tynan (@SeanTynan) May 22, 2019

I mean come on talk about spelling it out for them

— Chris Pender (@ChrisPenderKE) May 22, 2019

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The post This homophobic graffiti was owned in the best way possible appeared first on The Poke.

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Here’s our favourite radio moment of the week, an interview on Radio 3 between historian Matthew Sweet and author Naomi Wolf.

Wolf has written a new book, “Outrages: Sex, Censorship and the Criminalisation of Love” and it’s about homosexuality and its criminalisation in 19th-century England.

Except Sweet thinks she might have got a few things wrong. Quite serious things, it turns out, and it’s quite the listen.

Everyone listen to Naomi Wolf realize on live radio that the historical thesis of the book she's there to promote is based on her misunderstanding a legal term pic.twitter.com/a3tB77g3c1

— Edmund Hochreiter (@thymetikon) May 23, 2019

And this is what people made of it.

Interviewer: "When I found this I didn't know what to do with it." So I went with ambushing her on live radio.

— Yay, Bikes and Peds! (@billcawte) May 24, 2019

That’s awkward.

In fairness, I probably would have thought “death recorded” meant that.

But I also didn’t decide to write a book on it.

— John Dalton (@Dalton642) May 24, 2019

If you wrote a book on it I hope you'd at least read the Old Bailey's page on it to the end. That's all it would have taken.

— Sonetka (@BoleynBooks) May 24, 2019

Funniest thing is her saying 'this needs to be investigated'…AFTER SHE'S WRITTEN A BOOK ON IT.

— Nikhil (@nikhilsoneja) May 24, 2019

To everyone blaming the editor: No, no no. I am responsible as a writer for my own research. I spend hours fact-checking. Verification processes rule my writing.
The idea that writers can just put words on paper and someone else does the hard work cheapens writing.

— Femme (@FemCondition) May 24, 2019

Naomi Wolf: death recorded 2019

— face drawn on weather radar (@Radar_Face) May 24, 2019

And you can hear the whole interview here.

Full interview from Radio 3's most recent 'Arts & Ideas'. Full context of the excerpt starts at 19:00, excerpt itself starts at 24:30.https://t.co/szwLrxVSvE

— Edmund Hochreiter (@thymetikon) May 23, 2019

The post Most amazing 2 minutes of radio you’ll hear this week appeared first on The Poke.

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No sooner had Theresa May finally announced her resignation today than thoughts immediately turned to who was likely to replace her.

And one name loomed larger than any other – Boris Johnson. And these 17 tweets perfectly capture what (most) of us thought about that.

1.

When Theresa May is resigning but Boris Johnson is probably going to be the new Prime Minister pic.twitter.com/AN4qVRm6J5

— Mattyh_08 (@mattyh_08) May 24, 2019

2.

"Ye think I'm bad lads, Boris Johnson is up next. All the best with that, I'm off" pic.twitter.com/Fk6JVP6L7E

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) May 24, 2019

3.

It is, when you stand back, utterly staggering that Boris Johnson is probably about to become PM despite his risible performance as foreign secretary, his behavioural and moral turpitude, his complete lack of interest in ideas, his flagrant narcissism. It is astonishing.

— Chris Deerin (@chrisdeerin) May 24, 2019

4.

Boris Johnson, Andrea Leadsom, Esther McVey, Steve Baker, Jeremy Hunt, Michael Gove, Liz Truss, Sajid Javid and Dominic Raab (among others) all mentioned as the possible next Prime Minister.

It's like a political Grand National but where you're rooting for the fences.

— Sean Douglass (@Sean_Douglass) May 24, 2019

5.

when theresa may resigns as prime minister but boris johnson is standing to be the next one pic.twitter.com/RNZjW0oJKb

— Abby Tomlinson (@twcuddleston) May 24, 2019

6.

Electing Boris Johnson to replace Theresa May is like the Titanic hitting the iceberg then deliberately hitting another one.

— John pitchford (@Johnnypapa64) May 24, 2019

7.

Brexit latest: the EU will suddenly jettison three years of consistency & clarity because of Boris Johnson's diplomatic skills.

— James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) May 24, 2019

8.

The UK right now hearing that Theresa May has resigned…

Then realising Boris Johnson is likely to be the next Prime Minister.#Trexit #FridayFeeling #MayResigns pic.twitter.com/3PO4v806TT

— Josh Marley (@josh12marley) May 24, 2019

9.

Theresa May going, only to be replaced by Boris Johnson, is the hollowest of victories. Like being happy you're no longer constipated because you've got the shits.

— Jason (@NickMotown) May 24, 2019

The post 17 tweets that perfectly capture what the nation thinks of Boris Johnson as our next PM appeared first on The Poke.

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Footballer turned manager Joey Barton clearly isn’t a fan of people throwing milkshakes over the likes of Nigel Farage and Tommy Robinson.

Indeed, Barton went as far as to say this on Twitter.

Milkshakes today.

Bricks tomorrow.

Petrol bombs next week.

— Joey Barton (@Joey7Barton) May 23, 2019

And it’s fair to say he got a bit of a pummelling for it.

Stub cigar out in youth player's eye 2004
Break pedestrian's leg while driving 2005
Assault 15-year-old 2005
Punch team-mate until unconscious 2007
Punch man 20 times 2007
Leave 16-year-old with broken teeth 2007
Punch opponent in chest 2010
Kick opponent in back of knee 2012

— Arzy Del #StopBrexit (@arzydel) May 23, 2019

People who think it’s funny to make racists a bit milky are not suddenly going to fancy a spot of terrorism. This is incredibly easy to understand if you put your mind to it.

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) May 23, 2019

You’d never resort to violence would you?

— Sam (@SamtykeBFC) May 23, 2019

That’s a very odd diet plan Joey

— Fake Carlton (@_CarltonCole9) May 23, 2019

At least no-one threw a milkshake over him.

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Simply 7 fabulous pisstakes of this DUP politician’s condemnation of the Nigel Farage milkshake attack

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The post Funniest 4 takedowns of Joey Barton after he said throwing milkshakes would end with petrol bombs appeared first on The Poke.

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Her attempt to deliver Brexit was always going to end in tears and Theresa May’s resignation announcement today did exactly that.

Prime Minister Theresa May struggled to fight back the tears as she said it had been 'the honour of my life' to serve 'the country that I love'.

Read more: https://t.co/MQOoYeWVyG pic.twitter.com/1CrrXQl4wI

— ITV News (@itvnews) May 24, 2019

And it’s fair to say the sympathy wasn’t entirely overflowing for the soon to be former PM. These 12 angry tweets do a very good job of explaining why.

1.

Theresa May guide to crying

NO TEARS for
Grenfell
The Windrush generation
Deaths and misery caused by the hostile environment, by austerity, by welfare cuts, NHS cuts
598 rough sleepers dying on our streets last year
4m children in poverty
Record food bank use

TEARS for
Herself

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) May 24, 2019

2.

Goodbye to one of the worst PMs we have ever had. I have no confidence that the next two will be any better.

— Stephen Mangan (@StephenMangan) May 24, 2019

3.

Fuck her tears. I have zero sympathy. I do have sympathy for elderly members of the Windrush generation told to leave the country, Grenfell survivors who still don't have adequate housing or justice, 4.1m kids living in poverty, and 100,000s more people forced to use food banks.

— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) May 24, 2019

4.

Her 'will of the people' rhetoric was the polar opposite of the 'compromise' she's claiming to have championed. Shameful.

— James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) May 24, 2019

5.

A moving departure speech from Theresa May who looked close to tears at the end. pic.twitter.com/07GErr2KsK

— Graham Love (@GLove39) May 24, 2019

6.

You don't have to feel sorry for someone who will happily deport gay people to places where gay people face the death penalty just because she cried when she was forced to leave the job she was shit at.

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) May 24, 2019

7.

To those feeling sorry for Theresa May:

4m+ kids in poverty
1m+ Foodbank users
1.9m OAPs in poverty
8.4m struggling to eat
NHS being systemically privatised
The disabled having their benefits cut
The worst homelessness I have ever seen

Sorry but I've no sympathy for her #Trexit

— Shlomo (@hapoel2018) May 24, 2019

8.

How Theresa May can again speak about “burning injustices” when her cruel, chaotic & incomprehensibly incompetent Government has left millions using food banks, caused soaring homelessness & malnutrition, death & despair is beyond me. Britain needs a General Election now

— Peter Stefanovic (@PeterStefanovi2) May 24, 2019

9.

Theresa May close to tears. She was a truly incompetent Prime Minister and a disgustingly cruel Home Secretary. No re-writing of legacies should pretend otherwise.

— Frances Ryan (@DrFrancesRyan) May 24, 2019

10.

So she dies, as she lived: boring us into submission with platitudes.

— Stig Abell (@StigAbell) May 24, 2019

11.

A whole political career not showing emotion ends in tears. My word.

— Francis Elliott (@elliotttimes) May 24, 2019

12.

The most staggering thing about Theresa May is her shamelessness and lack of self-awareness. Her speech claimed she made Britain "work for everyone" and gave a "voice to the voiceless", and presented herself as the heroine of Grenfell. Like Thatcher's, her tears are for herself.

— Simon Price (@simon_price01) May 24, 2019

To conclude, here’s some ‘no context Thick of It’.

(via)

The post A dozen devastating verdicts on Theresa May’s tearful resignation appeared first on The Poke.

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Her attempt to deliver Brexit was always going to end in tears and Theresa May’s resignation announcement today did exactly that.

Prime Minister Theresa May struggled to fight back the tears as she said it had been 'the honour of my life' to serve 'the country that I love'.

Read more: https://t.co/MQOoYeWVyG pic.twitter.com/1CrrXQl4wI

— ITV News (@itvnews) May 24, 2019

And it’s fair to say the sympathy wasn’t entirely overflowing for the soon to be former PM. These 12 angry tweets do a very good job of explaining why.

1.

Goodbye to one of the worst PMs we have ever had. I have no confidence that the next two will be any better.

— Stephen Mangan (@StephenMangan) May 24, 2019

2.

Fuck her tears. I have zero sympathy. I do have sympathy for elderly members of the Windrush generation told to leave the country, Grenfell survivors who still don't have adequate housing or justice, 4.1m kids living in poverty, and 100,000s more people forced to use food banks.

— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) May 24, 2019

3.

Her 'will of the people' rhetoric was the polar opposite of the 'compromise' she's claiming to have championed. Shameful.

— James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) May 24, 2019

4.

A moving departure speech from Theresa May who looked close to tears at the end. pic.twitter.com/07GErr2KsK

— Graham Love (@GLove39) May 24, 2019

5.

You don't have to feel sorry for someone who will happily deport gay people to places where gay people face the death penalty just because she cried when she was forced to leave the job she was shit at.

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) May 24, 2019

6.

So she dies, as she lived: boring us into submission with platitudes.

— Stig Abell (@StigAbell) May 24, 2019

7.

To those feeling sorry for Theresa May:

4m+ kids in poverty
1m+ Foodbank users
1.9m OAPs in poverty
8.4m struggling to eat
NHS being systemically privatised
The disabled having their benefits cut
The worst homelessness I have ever seen

Sorry but I've no sympathy for her #Trexit

— Shlomo (@hapoel2018) May 24, 2019

8.

How Theresa May can again speak about “burning injustices” when her cruel, chaotic & incomprehensibly incompetent Government has left millions using food banks, caused soaring homelessness & malnutrition, death & despair is beyond me. Britain needs a General Election now

— Peter Stefanovic (@PeterStefanovi2) May 24, 2019

9.

Theresa May close to tears. She was a truly incompetent Prime Minister and a disgustingly cruel Home Secretary. No re-writing of legacies should pretend otherwise.

— Frances Ryan (@DrFrancesRyan) May 24, 2019

10.

Don't have the energy to engage with Brits on the TL advocating sympathy for Theresa May, so in her honour, I will instead issue them with ancient Irish heraldic curses. "May your obituary be written with weasel's piss", "May you die with your legs up, screaming", etc.

— Séamas It Ever Was (@shockproofbeats) May 24, 2019

11.

A whole political career not showing emotion ends in tears. My word.

— Francis Elliott (@elliotttimes) May 24, 2019

12.

The most staggering thing about Theresa May is her shamelessness and lack of self-awareness. Her speech claimed she made Britain "work for everyone" and gave a "voice to the voiceless", and presented herself as the heroine of Grenfell. Like Thatcher's, her tears are for herself.

— Simon Price (@simon_price01) May 24, 2019

To conclude, here’s some ‘no context Thick of It’.

(via)

The post 12 angry tweets – a dozen devastating verdicts on Theresa May’s tearful resignation appeared first on The Poke.

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David Mellor once served in John Major’s cabinet, but left in disgrace after some fairly lurid stories about his sex life and a gifts-for-favours scandal hit the media – and I’m really sorry for any mental images that may subsequently raise.

Although he is no longer an MP, he was in the news today, calling for a second referendum, but people were so distracted by his new hairstyle that they could barely hear the words he was saying.

David Mellor calls for second referendum on Brexit as "the circumstances have changed" #Sunrise https://t.co/dAzYzNItSb pic.twitter.com/4S6arPLm2e

— Sky News Politics (@SkyNewsPolitics) May 24, 2019

We get that it’s his hair and he can do what he likes with it, but it would be remiss of us not to share the very funny comments people have been making about it.

1.

Fun Friday happenings! Check out David Mellor ‘s chic new Bob. It frames his face in that cheeky pixie way while the new caramel blonde colour gives him that ever important lift. Lovely David. pic.twitter.com/vZSzIHQGge

— Dudess of York (@DudessofYork) May 24, 2019

2.

Why does David Mellor look like he’s about to drop the hottest indie album of 1992? pic.twitter.com/U5NRuoLaYK

— . (@twlldun) May 24, 2019

3.

I cannot get enough of this from David Mellor #DavidMellorsBarnet #LikeYouveJustSteppedOutOfASalon pic.twitter.com/i2d0Ci24vC

— Dan Walker (@mrdanwalker) May 24, 2019

4.

The Rt Hon Member for Kajagoogoo North pic.twitter.com/3oMAgU5pSA

— Paul Jenkins (@fourfoot) May 24, 2019

5.

David Mellor/Paul Weller.

You've got to have a system. https://t.co/OZBGmEJIO2

— John Rain CBE (@MrKenShabby) May 24, 2019

6.

Under government plans, soon you will have to prove your age before viewing this picture of David Mellor. pic.twitter.com/wb3WwYKPVF

— Alexis (twit) (@lexistwit) May 24, 2019

7.

What form of furry animal has David Mellor slaughtered to wear on his head? pic.twitter.com/FJ5osGgV0e

— Steve Hyett (@SteveHyett) May 24, 2019

8.

David Mellor looks like Widow fucking Twanky half way through costume change…

— Andy Coates (@AndyWoodturner) May 24, 2019

9.

How have I ended up with the same haircut as David Mellor? https://t.co/iTolodRWoc

— Kitty Donaldson (@kitty_donaldson) May 24, 2019

Not all the comments were negative, however – Human Rights activist, Aisha Ali-Khan wanted in on the salon-fresh look.

Ok, I need to get this off my chest this morning: what hair straighteners has David Mellor been using and where can I get mine? #MysticMellor pic.twitter.com/D5WNuTBZAL

— aisha ali-khan (@aak1880) May 24, 2019

The post David Mellor had thoughts on Brexit but everyone was distracted by his hair – 9 funny reactions appeared first on The Poke.

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Theresa May has announced she will quit as Conservative leader on 7 June.

“It is in the best interests of the country for a new prime minister to lead”

UK Prime Minister Theresa May announces she will resign on Friday 7 June

Live updates: https://t.co/uYam3l51Iz pic.twitter.com/Y35iYJPvef

— BBC Breaking News (@BBCBreaking) May 24, 2019

She’ll leave Downing Street after the Tory party has chosen a new leader, a process that will begin the following week.

And here are our favourite things people had to say about it.

1.

This is like when your boss leaves and you're happy, and then you remember your company has a long history of hiring incrementally shittier fucking psychopaths.

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) May 24, 2019

2.

Theresa May quits
The leadership race begins:

Guy who makes you want to die: 13/8
Dude you literally don't recognise: 6/1
National joke 8/1
Blackhole of charisma: 10/1
She has kids, you know:12/1
The guy whose name sounds like a swear word: 16/1

— Sathnam Sanghera (@Sathnam) May 24, 2019

3.

I forgot “fucking hell, not that twat” – 22/1

— Sathnam Sanghera (@Sathnam) May 24, 2019

4.

Theresa May after she resigned pic.twitter.com/eT7oRyBTyC

— Blue (@dismaIwitch) May 24, 2019

5.

THERESA MAY QUITS
*national celebrations"
ANOTHER TORY MUST TAKE HER PLACE
*national fear*

— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) May 24, 2019

6.

Theresa May (sub, 75 mins) – Tried hard but struggled to make an impact. 5

— Jonathan Liew (@jonathanliew) May 24, 2019

7.

BREAKING: Theresa May finally announces departure date, on basis UK has three day weekend to celebrate.

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) May 24, 2019

8.

RESIGNATION

It is with great regret
that I must resign
myself today

to watching
the country
in total disarray.

— Brian Bilston (@brian_bilston) May 24, 2019

9.

Theresa May is a Police Academy movie. A total farce but you know the sequel will be worse.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) May 24, 2019

10.

Whatever your opinion of Theresa May’s time as prime minister, you have to admit, she has a jacket.

— Rhys James (@rhysjamesy) May 24, 2019

11.

What an emotional ending to that Theresa May reign… #Trexit pic.twitter.com/EuXpHSV1Yw

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) May 24, 2019

12.

For any millennials who don't pay attention to politics, this is like when Robert Baratheon died, and Joffrey took the throne.

— John Rain CBE (@MrKenShabby) May 24, 2019

13.

Theresa May: pic.twitter.com/J5fyB5JVrN

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) May 24, 2019

14.

Every fibre of my being wants her to walk out and announce her deal is the only way to deliver Brexit, then walk back in again.

— Alan White (@aljwhite) May 24, 2019

15.

Theresa May can take comfort that she will only be remembered as the worst prime minister in the history of the United Kingdom for about a week, when her successor is chosen.

— Dai Lama (@WelshDalaiLama) May 24, 2019

16.

Guess June really will be the end of May smh x #Brexit #TheresaMay

— Mrs Theresa May (@MrsTheresaMay) May 24, 2019

17.

Theresa May's final Big Brother Best Bits. pic.twitter.com/rQouxkwmco

— Jake Johnstone (@hijakejohnstone) May 24, 2019

The post Our favourite 33 things people are saying after Theresa May resigns as prime minister appeared first on The Poke.

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