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Don’t miss out. Book your free spot in the body language of flirting bootcamp with Relationship and Body Language Expert Katia Loisel.

Want to learn the secrets of flirting and learn how to read body language?

Or know if they’re flirting or just being friendly?

Well, here’s your chance…

You’ll learn
  • How to decode their body language and know what they’ve really got on their mind.
  • How to know if they’re flirting or just being friendly,
  • How to know if they want to kiss you, or are looking for more,
  • How to decode the science behind attraction and flirting.

    With sure-fire ways to test the waters, and simple flirting techniques guaranteed to get their attention, you’ll never be left wondering again!

  • Master the art of flirting and decipher their body language signals once and for all.

    The post Don’t Miss Out: Free Body Language Of Flirting Bootcamp appeared first on The Love Destination.

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    Let’s talk about the body language of kissing. Want to know the surefire signs they want to kiss you? Here are the 9 signs they want to kiss you right now.

    There’s nothing quite like those delicious moments before that first kiss. Waves of desire bounce invisibly between you as you inch ever so slightly closer. Your eyes lock, lips part, and your first kiss hangs in the air like an unspoken promise. Time stands still and everything else begins to fade away. At that moment, there is only the two of you.

    A world of possibilities awaits… but only if one of you makes the first move.

    So how do you know for sure that they want to kiss you?

    When it comes to how to kiss and the language of love, actions speak louder than words. In fact, over 99 per cent of emotional communication during courtship is communicated non-verbally through silent love signals.

    Looking for a relationship? It might be time to brush up on your body language skills and learn the non-verbal language of love.

    Want to learn the secret to attracting the one you want?  Get your copy of How to Get the Man You Want Now for the just $7.99 (normally $14.99). Valid until the 30th Sept

    But before the body language of kissing. First…

    The first step to understanding the body language of kissing and how to know if someone is interested (or wants to kiss you) is to look for a cluster of at least three to five simultaneous (green light) signals that indicate initial interest.

    Want to know what they’re thinking? Join me on my free BODY LANGUAGE OF FLIRTING BOOTCAMP

    9 Signs They Want To Kiss You

    You’re inches apart, the chemistry is amazing but you’re still not sure if they want to kiss you. Here are the 9 signs they want to kiss you:

    1. Lingering eyes

    They say that eyes are windows to the soul, and for a good reason. Sticky eyes (that seemingly breathe you in) are a universal courtship signal indicating attraction, but that’s not all that they reveal. Pay attention to where their eyes rest for clues about their intentions. If they keep looking at your mouth and let their eyes linger there, they’re wondering what it would be like to kiss you.

    READ MORE: Find out how to get them to make the first move. 2. They have droopy bedroom eyes

    Droopy bedroom eyes are an indication of “rest and digest”- a parasympathetic response that induces a relaxed state and gets our body ready for a sexual encounter.

    3. They lean into you

    The forward lean is a primitive subconscious response controlled by the orientating reflex (OR). The OR kicks in automatically when you see someone you like, causing our muscles to contract to bring us closer to kiss.
    They move their head closer to yours

    This move into your intimate space is a surefire signal that they’re keen to kiss you. If you’re not sure, brush your lips on their cheek. If they move their face towards yours you’ve been given the green light.

    4. They touch your face

    Touching the face is a very intimate gesture and suggests that they’d like to get closer to you emotionally and physically (and can be an indicator of relationship potential and commitment). If their hand or fingers touch or linger on your lips, no further signals are required.

    5. The head tilt

    The head tilt and bearing of the neck is a primitive sign that indicates interest and vulnerability and gives you the non-verbal green light to approach (or get a little closer).

    6. Their lips part

    There’s no denying that the lips are central to kissing, but did you know that their lips can also reveal their intentions? Sexual attraction and desire can temporarily block brain impulses that control the lower jaw, causing the jaw to drop and lips to part. On the other hand, our lips tend to disappear (or become closed and tight) when we’re experiencing negative emotion or just not into someone.

    7. They touch, lick or bite their lips whilst looking at you

    Constant autoerotic touching of the lips is a tell-tale sign that their lips are tingling with excitement and that they may be wondering what it would be like to kiss you. Attraction causes our lips to engorge with blood making them ultra-sensitive to touch. Watch their stroke style for clues on how they’d like to be kissed. If their touch is light and feathery, gently caress their lips with yours to leave them begging for more.

    A word of caution: lip biting can communicate both negative emotion and arousal; however, trust your instincts, as we are pre-wired to ‘feel’ the difference. Other clues include their level of eye contact and the shape of their mouth. During arousal, a lip bite is normally accompanied with flirty eye contact and upturned lips.

    8. They face you with their foot between your legs

    Positioning their foot between your legs is an indication of comfort and attraction and may be a ploy to get into your intimate space. How close they’d like to get depends on how close your respective groins are. If they’ve positioned their front foot between your legs, so that both your groins are touching, they’re already thinking about what it would be like to be physically intimate with you.

    READ MORE: Find out how to take it from friendly to flirting in less than 60 seconds 9. They begin blinking (a lot)

    A rapid blink rate suggests that they’re psychologically aroused (or excited) and you’ve got their attention. When we see something we like (or are thinking about that kiss) a surge of dopamine is released into our vision centres causing our blink rate to increase, sometimes up to seven times the normal rate. So if their blink rate suddenly increases as you get closer, keep a look out for the other green light signals that reveal they might want to kiss you.

    Many gestures and expressions can have multiple meanings so if you want to know if they’re interested (and want to kiss you), always look for a combination of increased proximity, eye contact and touch.

    Want to learn the secret to attracting the one you want?  Get your copy of How to Get the Man You Want Now for the just $7.99 (normally $14.99). Valid until the 30th Sept

    READ MORE: The Science of Kissing. What their Kiss Really Means

    Last but (definitely) not least, always test the waters before jumping in for that first kiss.

    Don’t forget to sign up for my flirting bootcamp or get your copy of my book.

    Love Katia x

    Article originally published on eHarmony. Republished with permission.

    The post The Body Language of Kissing – 9 Signs They Want To Kiss You appeared first on The Love Destination.

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    Why you will never see me on Tinder again. As a single lady in this day and age, I find myself always a little bit lonely at certain times of the year such as Easter, Valentine’s Day and of course the Christmas/ NYE period. For us women who are flying solo, we often make a decision to reflect on our current circumstances and past relationships during these times.

    It’s most likely then, the world famous dating app Tinder pops into one’s mind when feeling a little low and in need of some TLC (AKA EGO BOOST ACTION)!

    EGO BOOST ACTION

    With so many singles on this thing you are sure to get some guys ‘liking’ you and even ‘SUPER liking’ (if you are lucky) to remind yourself, hey I’ve still got it!

    The truth behind this app though is that most people are on it for the exact same reason, to not deal with reality, to ignore healing broken hearts that need time to mend and also brushing unresolved personal traits under the carpet that truly need addressing on a deeper spiritual level.

    I honestly only know of two success stories ever from that site and most singles in the western world are on it so that kind of proves my theory that the odds of meeting ‘THE ONE’ are extremely unlikely (and I’m no mathematician).

    Everyone meets their partner in different ways, why does it have to be on a dating app now? Is it because we have all become super lazy in saying hi to the opposite sex like the good old days?

    Why do I have to conform to this shallow way of dating just because it’s now society’s norm? I ask myself:

    ‘Am I the only one who feels this way or should I just runaway and join the ‘freak circus’ because nobody else understands why I hate meeting guys this way?’

    I don’t line up for men’s attention and neither should you!

    The app is deliberately designed to be addictive which means you are left wanting more and more and more, (and although it’s free it certainly eats up your monthly data usage am I right? Lol).

    It leaves you unsatisfied with the 97 matches you already have, making you unconsciously look for more hot people to match up with (like a zombie under a spell) even though you’ll never even communicate or meet up with the majority of those matches. So I wonder, ‘what’s the point?’

    The easiest way I explained this to a friend who asked me why I wouldn’t want to be on Tinder was…

    ‘You know that cool club that was awesome 3 years ago… well it’s not the cool club everyone lines up for anymore. It’s no longer exclusive and you no longer get treated like a VIP’.

    Therefore let me make this very clear as I put this out to the Universe…

    I am a VIP and I don’t line up for men’s attention and neither should you!

    Much love,
    Big Sis xx

    The post WHY YOU WILL NEVER EVER SEE ME ON TINDER AGAIN appeared first on The Love Destination.

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    Would you know how to spot a psychopath? In the early stages of love and attraction, it can be easy to overlook or misread the warning signs that tell you to stay away. Despite their often charming and charismatic appeal, psychopaths often leave a trail of red flags. You just need to know what to look for. In this episode of The Love Destination Expert Series, The Celebrity Profiler Alan Stevens reveals 2 signs that you could be dating a psychopath.
     

    1. CIA: They Charm, Isolate and Abuse

    “A psychopath is somebody who’s very gifted at being able to connect to people. They use the 3 initials CIA. They charm, they isolate and they abuse,” explains The Celebrity Profiler Alan Stevens.

    “One of the first things to look at is their behavior. Once you’ve met somebody how are they actually treating you?

    Are they coming out with you with your friends or they start to pull back? Do they try and get you away from your friends?

    A psychopath gets their power out of controlling. So their thing is “How can I get you away from everybody else?” cautions Stevens.


     

    2. Their facial expressions reveal contempt or disgust.

    When it comes to love, actions speak louder than words and someone’s facial expressions can reveal a lot about how they really feel as Alan Stevens explains.

    “In terms of their facial expressions, look for those little twitches which might be contempt, disgust or anger. If you’re talking to them about going out with friends, watch the expression on their face. Does it correlate with what you’d like to see from them?

    READ MORE: 10 Ways To Spot A Liar

     
    Actions speak louder than words explains Stevens, “If they are then pulling back and trying to keep you all to themselves or highlight your insecurities there’s bound to be a reason for it. So take the time to actually step back and not rush into it but think about a little bit more.”
     

     
     

    What are their micro-expressions really saying?

    “When it comes to micro-expressions, there are three that you particularly need to look for, (particularly if you’re looking at a psychopath or wondering how safe you are with them) and they contempt and disgust, but also the smile itself,” Stevens told The Love Destination Expert Series.

    So what does contempt look like?

    “Contempt is where a person briefly raises one side of their face, just that one side rising up quickly on the one side. The other one (to look out for) is disgust. You’ll see a raising of and crinkling of the nose and the pulling up of the mouth. If you see those two expressions from the person you know that they don’t think very much of you at all. If you’re getting that from your partner or the person that you’re with, just be careful of what’s going on,” explains Stevens.
     

    What their smile reveals

    “The other facial expression to look out for is their smile. If the smile isn’t genuine there’s none of the crinkling here at the sides of eyes, these little lines that come here shows a person is really enjoying a conversation. So if you just get that little smile on the face that doesn’t have any reaction up here (points to eyes) you know it’s a social smile and that it’s not really meant. So you can look for those indications when you’re talking to know whether they’re genuinely interested. But if you see the micro-expressions reveals contempt or disgust, be careful,” said Stevens.
     
     

    READ MORE: 12 Signs You’re Dating A Player The Celebrity Profiler Alan Steven’s Tips shares his tips how to avoid dating a psychopath
    • Beware of the Charmer. It’s reasonably accurate to say that if he/she sounds too good to be true, be on your guard. An abuser operates by the code CIA. They:
      • Charm
      • Isolate
      • Abuse
    • See how do they react when you take time for yourself?
    • Psychopaths know what you personally need in your life and they will appear to be your perfect soul mate and you’ll want to be with them all of the time.
    • Read Micro Expressions and Body Language. Ask yourself if they are congruent with the situation.
    • If you suspect your partner is a psychopath ask yourself does the person try to;
      • Control your time and who you see
      • Monopolise your time
      • Isolate you from your friends

    Proudly brought to you by EK Life. Living and enjoying your best life at every age.

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    A kiss is not just a kiss. A kiss can be a hello or a goodbye, a symbol of parental love and affection, a gesture that soothes and reassures, or a passionate expression of love and desire. But why do we kiss and what does it really reveal about our partner and the state of our relationship? There’s more to the science of kissing than you might think.

    The compatibility check

    New research by eHarmony found that 4 in 6 Aussies believe that the way someone kisses says a lot about their potential sexual chemistry and whether they’ll be a good match, and rightly so. There’s more to the science of kissing than you might think.

    Kissing provides a potent exchange of sensory information that reveals telling clues about genetic compatibility, romantic compatibility, your kissing partner’s overall health and immunity, and whether they’re after a casual fling or a relationship.

    During a passionate kiss, we receive information from the taste and smell of our kissing partner’s breath, saliva and skin, the health of their teeth, their touch, their pheromones (or airborne signals), and from the semiochemicals in their mouth which mix with our own saliva. These clues affect our level of attraction and help us to make a subconscious decision about our compatibility.

    READ MORE: Find out how to get them to make the first move.

    Your feel good relationship boost

    What does the science of kissing tell us about our favourite pastime? A kiss affects us emotionally, biologically and psychologically and provides the ultimate feel good relationship boost, activating our emotional brain associated with love and passion, and sending our neural networks into overdrive. A passionate smooch releases a surge of neurotransmitters and hormones including dopamine, serotonin, phenylethylamine and norepinephrine. This chemical cocktail and in particular the rush of dopamine, increases attraction, and sends us into a euphoric (and slightly obsessive) high.

    READ MORE: The Body Language of Kissing: 9 Signs They Want to Kiss You

    Most people underestimate the power of puckering up, but kissing does more than just making us feel intoxicatingly good. It’s been shown to improve relationship satisfaction and self-esteem, make us feel more relaxed, increase attraction and sex drive, reduce levels of stress and conflict and boost the cuddle hormone oxytocin helping you bond and feel connected. Couples that increase the frequency of their kisses also tend to have lower levels of conflict.

    Are you on the same page?

    The pash (or lack thereof) and kissing style can also reveal whether you’re both after the same thing in a relationship… or not. In many ways courtship gestures and rituals resemble the bond between a mother and child. As we soothe each other with gentle kisses, tender caresses, cling to one another and gently sway in each other’s arms. It’s this nurturing embrace that helps build a sense of trust and security and communicates affection and love.

    So, if they’re always going straight for the passion fuelled snog, but there’s little eye contact or tenderness in their touch, or they avoid kissing altogether and attempt to move straight into physical intimacy, chances are they’re after a casual fling and not a long term relationship.

    Want to learn the secret to attracting the one you want?  Get your copy of How to Get the Man You Want Now for the just $7.99 (normally $14.99). Valid until the 30.09.17

    Originally published on eHarmony 

    The post The Science of Kissing appeared first on The Love Destination.

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    3 Reasons Love May be Eluding You. Everybody deserves to be loved and cherished. And with over seven billion humans on the planet, the chances are pretty high that there is at least one person out there who will understand your idiosyncrasies, embrace your virtues and withstand your shadow side.
     

    So, what does it mean if you haven’t (yet) found that perfect love?

    Well, firstly, it means you are not alone. According to a 2014 Gallup survey, more people are staying single (as in, not married and not living with someone) and they are staying single for longer. The Gallup report reveals “This rise of singledom is particularly evident with 18- to 29-year-olds, increasing by roughly a quarter since 2004, from 52% to 64%. But it is also evident among adults aged 30 to 39, creeping up from 15% to 19% over the same period.”

    These figures hint at one very valid reason you may not have committed to a serious relationship – because you don’t want one; because you have found other ways to feel supported, inspired, adored, comforted and nurtured. And, if so, good on you!

    However, if your ongoing single status is not something you find particularly celebratory then it may be time for a bit of reflection. Here are three confronting-yet-truthful reasons why, on this planet teeming with people, you may be unable to find that special somebody to love.

    Are you ready?

    1. Checklists and Conditions

    Most people are completely unaware of the constant chatter of their own minds; the incessant judgements and demands of our unconscious mental patterns. But they are real, and they can be causing you to miss opportunities, make decisions and limit your ability to love without you even realising it! If your brain has concocted a list of expectations or conditions about what love is, or how it arrives, or what your long-term partner will look like, say, do, find pleasing, find displeasing, earn, own (etc, etc) then you are either consciously or unconsciously setting yourself up for relationship failure.

    Tip: You are a natural being and, as such, you have an innate ability to seek out environments that are healthy for you and conducive to your wellbeing. The key to this natural happiness-compass lies in your feelings, not your thoughts. Make a list of anything you think love (or your lover) should be, and then Let. It. Go. Become more aware of how you feel in certain places and around certain people. Follow what feels good. This will ultimately draw you toward people who will nurture you, support you and allow you to thrive.

    2. A Need for Greater Self-Love

    It can be common for the terminally-single to overlook some prospective partners, simply because they are too nice. Pay close attention to the people you find most alluring, and those you find unappealing or intimidating. If you find nice people “boring” or keep rejecting those who are open in their affection toward you, it may be a good time to spend some time reflecting on what treatment you believe you deserve. Turning away kindness or tenderness (often in favour of people who are dangerous, rebellious or edgy) is common in those who, deep down, don’t believe they deserve kindness and love.

    Tip: Imagine there is a young child in you. When people interact with you, ask yourself, is this the way my inner child deserves to be treated? It may feel uncomfortable at first, (many of us carry unconscious feelings of self-doubt, shame and unworthiness) and you may be tempted to shrug off or ignore those who treat you with respect and kindness. However, the more you choose to be with those who treat you as you deserve to be treated, the more you will begin to recognise the value and beauty within yourself. And the more you recognise that beauty, the more you open yourself to lasting, respectful and healthy love relationships.

    Want more love in your life? Join our free 30 Day Self-Love Challenge.

    3. The Birds of a Feather Phenomenon

    Ok, this can be incredibly confronting. But if you really want to end your life as a singleton and find a loving relationship, it may be vital for you to take a good, hard look at who you are and how you are choosing to live your life. Humans are social creatures, but we are social creatures with an inbuilt confirmation bias and a need to feel validated and understood. Because of this, we tend to gravitate towards groups and individuals that share our values, our perspectives, our biases and our behaviours. If you want to find a life-partner that will treat you with respect, kindness, understanding and loyalty, then you need to ensure that those are the types of people you are inviting into your life.

    Tip: If you find yourself meeting (and dating) selfish people, you need to ask yourself “why am I meeting selfish people?” If you find many prospective partners to be shallow, emotionally unavailable, dreamy, self-destructive or unkind, it’s time to ask yourself why your social tendencies draw you to people with those qualities. Birds of a feather, flock together.

    It’s never too late to become a better version of yourself and start truly valuing and personifying the qualities you most desire in a partner. If you want a kind partner, become kinder. If you want respect or sincerity in your relationship, practice respect and sincerity. Most importantly, allow your social circles to change as your values, perspectives and behaviours move you closer to the love you desire.

    The post 3 Reasons LOVE May Be Eluding You appeared first on The Love Destination.

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    There’s nothing quite as heart breaking as the gut wrenching agony of unrequited love or lust, and let’s face it, most of us have been there at least once, if not a few times.

    You spend every waking moment together, have shared your deepest hopes and dreams and would be the perfect couple, if only they’d come to their senses.

    What do you do when the one you want doesn’t want you back and how can you tell if it’s just a temporary setback?

    Friends or lovers? 14 Signs they don’t want to be more than friends

    1. You bare your soul telling them exactly how you feel about them and they respond by telling you that you’re a great friend or shrug and run for the nearest exit.

    2. They tell you they love you as a friend and don’t want to ruin the friendship (there’s no hidden message here, just friends means just that).

    3. They tell you they wished they felt the same way.

    4. You share a bed. You’re close enough to feel the rise and fall of their chest as they breathe, yet they don’t make a move.

    5. They’ll kiss and cuddle but not in a sexual way.
     

    Dating wasn’t meant to be this hard

    Special launch offer: Get your copy of How to Get the Man You Want Now for the just $4.99 (normally $14.99). Valid until the 30.09.17

    6. They tell you they’ve been hurt and are unable to love because of their past relationships, troubled childhood, messy divorce, current marriage. (Read – unavailable.)

    7. They sleep with you and then tell you it was a big mistake.

    8. You’re always the one making the effort.

    9. You drop them enough hints to sink a ship but they don’t seem to get it.

    10. You’re not their type but they don’t know what their type is.

    11. They tell you about the people they really fancy, (like your best friend).

    12. They tell you they’re in love with their ex, (and carry a photo of them to prove it).

    13. They’ve always got a reason why the two of you shouldn’t or can’t be together such as: they’re inundated at work, it wouldn’t be fair to you and you deserve better (the lamest excuse ever), it would be too much for their child, or they don’t think they’re capable of loving again.

    14. You have a high amount of emotional intimacy but little physical intimacy.

    READ MORE: Find out how to get them to make the first move.

    We know it can be confusing and hard to believe that they’re not interested when you’re being sent mixed messages and the one you want is blatantly flirting with you. How can they tell you they’re not interested but hold your hand, cuddle you and act as if there’s something more? Surely they’re just confused and they’ll come round, right?
     

    Want to know what they’re thinking? Join Katia’s free BODY LANGUAGE OF FLIRTING BOOTCAMP

    If the warning signs are there don’t delude yourself into thinking that something will change. Miracles are possible but maybe not in this case. It might just be time to move on, after all, don’t you deserve someone who’ll love and cherish you as much as you do them?

    Special launch offer: Get your copy of How to Get the Man You Want Now for the just $4.99 (normally $14.99). Valid until the 30.09.17

    If you still believe that true love will reign, wait for them to make the next move. If you’ve told them how you feel, they’ve got the message loud and clear. Giving them a daily reminder of what they’re missing out on isn’t going to make them crawl back, but it might just push them further away. After all, would you want someone who was desperate for your love and affection when you didn’t feel the same way? We didn’t think so.

    READ MORE: How To Take It From Friendly To Flirting in Less Than 60 Seconds READ MORE: How To Tell if they’re interested

    An extract from How to get the man you want / How to get the woman you want written by Katia Loisel and Paul Morris Segal. Get your copy now.

    The post 14 Signs They Don’t Want To Be More Than Just Friends appeared first on The Love Destination.

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    Let’s be honest first dates can be downright terrifying. Will they like you? Will you like them? And what if you actually click? In this episode of The Love Destination Expert Series, Executive Matchmaker and Dating Coach Robyn Nind from Blue Label Life reveals how to move from fear to a positive dating mindset.

    Why is a Positive Dating Mindset Important?

    ‘Dating can be really daunting for men and women and the most important thing is to maintain the right mindset before you go on your date in the first place,’ reveals Executive Matchmaker and Dating Coach Robyn Nind.

    ‘How do you do that? How do you deal with your fear that comes up? And the nervousness? And the fear of rejection? The fear of someone actually liking you, the fear of love, which we all have.’
     

    From Fear to a Positive Dating Mindset

    Nind recommends treating your match as you would a friend. ‘Imagine in your mind that the person in front of you is someone that you trust and someone that you love of the opposite sex. It could be your father, it could be your brother, it could be your best friend, and it could be your sister,’ says Nind.

    The Love Destination Expert Series is proudly brought to you by EK Life

    “When in your mind you picture this person you love and trust, with the person in front of you, you respond completely different to the person you’re conversing with or getting to know, and you respond to them in a loving way and in an open way.’

     
    Watch this episode of The Love Destination Expert Series as Executive Matchmaker and Dating Coach Robyn Nind from Blue Label Life shares how to achieve the right mindset before a first date and overcome your dating fears to move from fear to love.
     

    The Love Destination Expert Series is proudly brought to you by EK Life

    The post From Fear To A Positive Dating Mindset appeared first on The Love Destination.

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    Has dating left you feeling frustrated, overwhelmed and less than fabulous? All of your relationships going nowhere? You may be in need of a dating detox.

    Here are my seven dating detox tips to that will help you out of your dating rut and on the path to love:
     

    Be honest about why you want a relationship:

    The promise of love can feel like a welcome relief from loneliness, pain and self-doubt. But relationships aren’t a crutch… they don’t complete you, nor make you whole.

    You are already whole. And you can only receive as much love as you are willing to give to yourself.

    It’s important to be honest with yourself about why you want a relationship. If it’s to feel complete, you’re lonely, think no one will ever love you or really don’t love yourself it might be time to take some time out.

    Rather than looking for love in an attempt to fix what feels broken perhaps the first step is to fall back in love with yourself.
     

    Be positive and give yourself a dose of self-love:

    Finding love starts with loving and accepting yourself. So, if you’re feeling less than fabulous it’s time to give yourself a much needed dose of self-love.

    Rather than focusing on what you don’t like about yourself take this time to pamper and appreciate yourself. Re-connect with old friends, make new friends. Focus on things that make you feel good.

    Focusing on the positive will help you to feel happier, more optimistic and more confident. As an added bonus it will make you look more confident, approachable and attractive too!
     

    Be honest about who you are what you want from a relationship: 

    Ready to jump back in? Hold on tiger. Before you do, it’s good to get a bit of clarity. It can be tempting to portray a version of you that you think others want. But there’s no point pretending you’re someone you’re not. Or the life of the party or an adrenaline junkie if your idea of adventure is watching an action flick on the couch.

    Be honest with yourself and others about who you are. What do you really want in life? In a relationship? What’s really important to you? What do you value? And what type of relationship you’re looking for? A long-term commitment or a casual fling? Don’t just assume that they’re after the same thing.

    Research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that when it comes to hookups opposite attract. Whereas, people looking for a long-term relationship tend to seek those with similar interests and values. So, choose accordingly and be mindful of the message you’re sending out.
     

    Be more selective:

    Many people set themselves up for failure and rejection when they’re dating by emotionally investing in people who are unlikely to return their interest. Focussing their energy and attention on someone who looks ahhhhhmaaaaazing rather than that someone who’s more compatible.

    But are looks really that important? Research shows that sharing mutual interests and values helps to reduce first date jitters and those awkward silences, increases attraction, satisfaction and the odds you’ll stay together. So if you’re dating online choose a site that allows you to refine your search and filters based on interests (rather than their profile pic).
     

    Spring clean your dating profiles:

    Being signed up to every dating site on the net might seem like a good idea. However, the scattergun approach can get in the way of finding love.

    There is such a thing as too much choice. Particularly if it skews your selection process. Amassing a list of gorgeous matches can be a massive ego boost at first. But managing multiple inboxes and a string of dates who have nothing in common with you can leave you feeling frustrated, overwhelmed and your self esteem in tatters.

    Love isn’t a race and if a relationship is what you’re after it’s more important to take your time to find the right person for you. If you’re dating online, remember that not all dating sites are equal. So, stick to one dating site that matches you on compatibility and mutual interests and helps you to take your relationship offline. And most importantly always use the same selection criteria online as you would face-to-face.
     

    Manage your sexpectations and be realistic:

    When it comes to connecting with people and dating try to go in with an open mind, be realistic and avoid being too quick to write other people off. It’s all too easy to fantasise about the type of person you think (or hope) your date will be like and the kind of relationship you’ll have only to be bitterly disappointed if the real life version doesn’t quite stack up.

    To avoid disappointment avoid choosing a date based solely on their looks. Instead, look for someone who has things in common with you and of course, be realistic about your expectations.

    And remember, meeting new people isn’t just about finding love. It’s about connection, conversations, new friends… and of course, maybe more.
     

    Get out there and don’t let the fear of rejection scare you:

    No matter who you are, rejection can hurt. In fact a study at the University of Michigan have found that social rejection stimulates the same neural pathways activated during actual physical pain.

    The good news is that how much that rejection affects you depends on your expectations, emotional investment and experience. The more you build your expectations and fantasize about the kind of person he or she is (or the relationship you might have) the more it’s likely to hurt.

    Rejection is simply someone choosing what’s right for them. It doesn’t mean that you’re any less attractive, intelligent or desirable. Simply that you weren’t what they were looking for.

    The more you practice connecting and dating, (and yes, that means the more you get rejected) the easier it becomes. he easier (and more fun) it will be to connect with those that you’re attracted to and the more amazing friends you’ll make along the way.

    Love Katia

    The post Do You Need A Dating Detox? appeared first on The Love Destination.

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    Ever wondered if there was a secret to getting that cute guy or girl to approach you and how to get them to make the first move? Or if your body language was sending the wrong message? In this episode of The Love Destination Expert Series, Relationship and Body Language Expert Katia Loisel from thelovedestination.com reveals the secret to sending green light signals that will have them approaching you in no time at all.

    SO HOW DO I GET SOMEONE TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE?

    “One of the questions that I get asked the most often is, ‘How do I get somebody to come and approach me without actually getting out of my chair and making the first move?’ said Loisel.

    If you’re a woman you’re already making the first move explains Loisel.

    “For the girls out there, the thing that you need to realize is that women actually make a lot more moves and send out a lot more signals than men. However, they very rarely make the first move. But you make eye contact, you smile and that sends signals of interest,” Katia explained to The Love Destination Expert Series.

    “The more signals you send out, the more attractive you actually are to the opposite sex. So if you want somebody to approach you what you need to do is send out green light signals that say, ‘Hey I’m interested, come and talk to me’. And you can’t do that if you’re sitting at the other end of the room.

    GET INTO THEIR FLIRTING ZONE

    “So the first thing you need to do is get in within their flirting zone. So closer than one point five metres away. In our study of over 1500 people 88% of those surveyed said that when they first meet someone their first thought is that person’s not interested in me or isn’t going to like me. If you’re not close enough or you’re not sending people enough signals then frankly they’re not going to know that you’re interested. So you need to get closer than one point five metres away to be in their flirting zone,” revealed Loisel.

    DO A MENTAL CHECKLIST OF YOUR BODY LANGUAGE

    “Secondly, do a mental checklist of your body language,” suggests Loisel. “Ask yourself the question, ‘Would I approach me?’. If the answer is no you need to make some changes.”

    IS YOUR BODY LANGUAGE OPEN AND APPROACHABLE?

    “Next you need to uncross our arms and legs. Make sure that body language is open and approachable, make eye contact and smile. Now if you’re too scared to make eye contact with a person that you really think is gorgeous, then  just make eye contact around the room, smile, remain open and approachable and think the words ‘Hello, here I am’, explains Relationship and Body Language Expert Katia Loisel.

    Watch this episode of The Love Destination Expert Series as Relationship and Body Language Expert Katia Loisel the secret to getting them to make the first move.

    The Love Destination Expert Series is proudly brought to you by EK Life

    LOCK EYES AND GIVE THEM YOUR FLIRTIEST SMILE

    “Next what you need to do is you need to lock eyes with the person you’re attracted to. Lock eyes, make eye contact and give them your flirtiest smile, and hold that smile for four seconds,” said Loisel.

    “That’s going to send a subconscious signal to their brain that you’re interested. It’s also going to send a rush of phenelethylamine, (that’s the natural love drug that gives you those butterflies in your tummy). You don’t want to go more than four seconds because phenelethylamine is also related to fight and flight, so it also makes someone feel really uncomfortable.”

    “After four seconds, give them your flirtiest smile. Look away for about 20  seconds before looking back. Then give them a smile and think of the words, ‘You are gorgeous, come and talk to me’,” reveals Loisel.

    WHY IT WORKS

    “From a non-verbal perspective you’re sending out over ten thousand stimuli. These say ‘Hello baby, come and talk to me,’ and if you’re thinking those words then you can’t be thinking “OMG, I’m an idiot. What am I doing?” Then what you need to do is you need to sit there, make eye contact and wait, but keep thinking those really positive thoughts. Sometimes people don’t quite the message or they think “Is that for me?” or they might be in a relationship. Eventually you’ll find that they’ll coming walking over. Otherwise get up and move. After all, what have you got to lose?” said Loisel.

    The post Dating: How To Get Them To Make The First Move appeared first on The Love Destination.

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