The Confused Millennial is a lifestyle blog for Gen Y based in South Florida. It also offers blog coaching and consulting to bloggers and influencers along with life advice, career & business tips, entertainment and more.
Over the past few months, I have been falling head over heels for my guest Jenna Zoe, a gifted Human Design Energy Type Reader – and I know that you all are going to fall for this beautiful being just as hard as I have!
Jenna describes Human Design as “the contract your soul makes with the Universe about who you came to be, what you came to do, and what karma you came to correct this lifetime around.” It really combines many different schools of wisdom into one – conventional astrology, the chakra system, the Chinese iChing, and the Kabbalah – and the result is an entirely new system that’s here to realign you with exactly who you are meant to be.
In This Conversation We Cover:
What is Human Design?
What are the five different Human Design energy types and how to find out what yours is!
What it means to be a manifesting generator and how to handle this energy type in your life
Moving forward in work + life, while keeping the excitement
Saying yes to the thing that light you up + no to the things that don’t
How to create an aligned life that feels joyful + effortless
A live mini-reading of my Human Design chart
The importance of and how to accept people for who they are
Stepping out of I and into We
How to utilize your Human Design beyond your energy type into other areas of your life
GIVEAWAY – Enter for a FREE Energy Type audio reading!!
Jenna is graciously offering one lucky listener access to one of the energy types found here. The reading will act as a foundation for your evolution! It can really teach you how you are meant to show up in the world, what you need to understand about yourself according to you HD energy type, and (if you’re like me) will give you that final *sigh* of relief to be exactly who you are.
Before starting TCM I was heavily focused on getting press coverage to establish my expertise. I submitted one off experts quotes as well as fully written guest posts to countless sites. Sometimes they were published, sometimes they were rejected.
I spent so much time submitting guest content all over the interwebs, that I wanted to give others a chance on my site. I respect GenTwenty’s multi-contributor model so much (plus they were my first ever guest post accepted!) and wanted to provide people with the same ability on my site…
… until I didn’t anymore.
What changed? Well, I probably get around 20-50 emails per week from people either asking to submit a guest post or submitting the completed guest post… it’s not the volume of these e-mails that overwhelms me but what’s in them.
Here are 5 reasons why your guest post isn’t getting chosen (or responded too):1. It’s a press release or sales pitch.
Nothing drives me crazier than a “guest post” that is really what I consider sponsored content. If your guest post is primarily a way to promote yourself or your product it’s advertising! You are basically asking me to introduce you to my readers to sell them – which is so not cool on so many levels.
Furthermore, a lot of companies are doing this thing where they “want to hear my thoughts” on a topic. But then they ask for a backlink to their site and a mention of their product. Well guess what, that’s ADVERTISING! Just because the post doesn’t read like an infomercial, doesn’t mean it’s not an ad. Tricking unaware content creators to produce native advertising pieces on their site is so gross.
If you are asking for sponsored content, then that’s another story and we can talk about collaborating, but do not be a sleaze and try to get me to “post your infographic” or promote your product for free. Not only is that not right to my business (yes, my blog is a business) but it’s also not right to my readers to get sold in an inauthentic, disingenuous manner.
2. It’s not relatable or valuable.
TCM strives to be relatable. Of course, not every person is going to relate to every post, but each post strives to have a relatability factor to connect with others mentally or emotionally. Furthermore, the post should provide readers with some sort of value and should enhance their life in some way (whether it’s a good laugh, actionable advice, or whatever). Remember, your content is not all about you, it’s about the reader.
3. It’s clear you’ve never read TCM before.
When I did a reader survey last year, I asked about people’s thoughts on the guest posts. Did they notice? Did they like them? Hate them? Interestingly, most people said they didn’t even notice that TCM has guest posts! The group that did notice the guest posts said they overall really enjoyed them. That was a huge sigh of relief for me since I put a lot of effort into each guest post in making sure it fits and feels as much like a regular TCM post. Which leads me to…
4. It will take me too long to edit.
I work really hard on each guest post submission published on TCM. So much in fact, that I’ve had past guest post contributors ask me where their content was because they didn’t recognize it at first!
I will almost always change the title you submit your post under and will re-work the flow of the article and language to make it more relatable or digestible. There have been countless times where I have skimmed an article and quickly replied: “I’ll post it!” Only to sit down a week or so later and start editing and realize it’s going to take me 3 hours to edit to match the TCM voice & vibe. Regrettably, I usually end up sending those posters an e-mail I hate to send, “I’m sorry, but this is going to take too much work on my end to get it in TCM shape.”
Read and re-read your guest post! Catch your typos, catch your grammar errors, and ask yourself at the end, “would I share this article if I came across it on a site?” If you wouldn’t then why would I post it?
5. You didn’t read the directions.
The three biggest directions people miss are:
1) On the contact page, it literally says “If you are looking to guest post, click here, please do not use this form.” — Yet people still send me emails asking if they can submit a guest post. I always delete those.
I know what the rebuttal to this is going to be: “But why should I waste my time writing a guest post if you aren’t interested in the topic?” So stick with me a minute…
You could have the best guest post in the world, but if you can’t read those instructions that tell me a couple of things: a) you haven’t familiarized yourself with TCM and it’s categories, and b) you are going to be high maintenance. I get a lot of emails where people want to (or have) sent me multiple post topics or titles and asked me to choose, only for the article to not fit TCM. A title is just that, a title, there are plenty of titles that fit TCM, but the article doesn’t.
In the past, when people would email me with a list of titles or topic ideas, I would always take the time to respond with what I preferred… only to receive the article and it fell into one of the previously stated issues almost every single time. I quickly realized if a person is asking me to hold their hand about the title of the article, they are going to need me to hold their hand through the entire publishing process and I am sorry, but I don’t have time for that. Plus it’s always difficult sending someone an email passing on their article after you already approved the topic, but at the end of the day, a title is just that, a title, there are plenty of titles that fit TCM, but the article doesn’t.
2) You submit previously published content. On the guest post submission form, it literally asks you to verify that the content has never been published elsewhere. So why do you think it’s a good idea to send me already publish work? I plagiarize check all pieces before hitting publish!
3) You make claims but don’t give me the research. If you are going to make claims that aren’t common sense, then you better insert a link to your research.
Past guest post submissions that have done exceedingly well:
McVal Osborne is an author and has written for TCM a couple of times. Both of his posts have done extremely well and neither were self-promotional. His posts are excellent examples to check out. Anytime he sends me a guest post now, it immediately jumps to the front of my queue.
5 Ways Minimalism Can Change Your Life by Sophia Smith – Sophia can probably tell you this post is very different than her original submission. I spent a lot of time editing this post and she even re-wrote the introduction. I knew this post was extremely special which was why I put the extra time and effort into it and it has performed very well on TCM.
3 Areas To Focus On When Feeling Lost As A Millennial by Inka Mackenbrock – Another post that I knew would be extremely relatable and has performed very well. Inka can tell you that after her post was published she sent me an email asking when she could expect to see it on TCM. She didn’t recognize it since I had changed the title, structure, and a few others things. Her perspective was too valuable to pass up so I put in the extra TLC.
This post is in partnership with Lexington Law, thank you for supporting brands who support TCM. As always, all thoughts, opinions, experience, and advice is my own.
I like to use the 50/20/30 guideline as a general rule of thumb when teaching people how to budget since everyone’s financial situation is different. It keeps things simple – seriously it boils down to only three numbers you have to remember, versus a million of tiny categories! Plus, it makes it extremely clear where your finances are out of alignment and allows you to tweak accordingly.
WTH does 50/20/30 stand for?
Basically a super simple three number budget. 50% of your income goes towards “needs,” 20% goes towards “goals,” and 30% goes towards your “lifestyle.” Meaning you only have to remember three numbers versus how much you’ve allotted for smaller categories like “entertainment” or “meals out.” It keeps things easy and allows you to go with the flow throughout your day-to-day life.
How To Apply The 50/20/30 Guideline:
1) Start by looking at your total income.
For this example I’m going to use the millennial average of $37,000 per year.
2) Divide your annual by 12 to get your “monthly” take home
Example: $3,083 per month
3) Take your monthly take home number and multiply by .5 to get your “needs” number
4) Take your monthly take home number and multiply by .2 to get your “goals” number
5) Take your monthly take home number and multiply by .3 to get your “lifestyle” number
This gives you a 3 number budget where you can just tick things off until you’re left with zero every month. This is especially handy when it comes to your lifestyle expenses since you won’t have to track every little thing.
It’s a similar concept to the old “envelope” days of budgeting; where you create a different envelope for each category, place your budgeted amount for the month in cash in the envelope, and then just pull from the envelope throughout the month.
So to continue with the running example, you’d put $925 in an envelope for fun stuff that month, and go out to eat and enjoy all the concerts you want until that envelope is empty! Much easier than tracking a specific budgeted number for “entertainment,” “subscription,” “meals out,” etc.
Here’s why I think the 50/20/30 guideline is so great:
As a general rule of thumb, you don’t really want to spend more than half your income on needs (rent, insurance, utilities, etc.). If your rent alone is taking up 60% of your paycheck, then you need to increase your income or find a new place to live! Hence why I say this is a great rule of thumb – it makes it super clear where things are “out of alignment” in your spending without getting into tons of complicated categories and numbers.
The problem with the 50/20/30 rule:
As millennials, our debt or living expenses often far exceeds our income. Which is why I recommend tweaking this to meet your unique situation, and also having an understanding of good debt vs. bad debt and which type you have. Most people put debt or student loans into their “goals” number, so maybe your budget will look like 55/25/20.
50/20/30 Guideline and Debt:
Like I said, it’s no secret that millennials are getting the short end of the stick when it comes to finances. Between student loans and insane cost of living, most are struggling to get out of debt, boost their credit score, and finallyyyy live their best life.
With that said, since most people recommend putting debt in the “20” of financial goals – that might not be your best move. When you get this rough number breakdown for yourself, look at where it’ll put you in your debt repayment process. After all, my friends at Lexington Law agree that “a solid budget can mean the difference between success and disaster.” Maybe you tweak this to be 40/40/20 to meet your personal finance situation.
Lexington Law also suggests doing regular audits (read more tips here!) on your expenses to see where you can reduce unnecessary debt. One area I’m telling people to really take a hard look at is their subscriptions! Seriously – do you really need both Hulu and Netflix? Probably not. Especially with the way we binge shows, you’re better off doing a month long Netflix binge, and then a month long Hulu binge and just canceling/re-upping your subscriptions accordingly.
Lastly, don’t forget knowledge is power. Lexington Law has SO many great articles on their blog to help you get out of debt, repair your credit score, and so much more. But it’s also important to know when to ask for help; and their credit repair experts are here to help you.
Common Questions Answered on the 50/20/30 guideline + some tips to make it work for you:
Q1: Where does food fit into the budget? Is it a need or lifestyle expense?
Since you can always spend more *or less* on food, I’m going to say it’s totally up to you! It’s both in your needs and in your lifestyle.
Example: If you break down your salary into the 50/20/30, and add up your rent/mortgage, utilities, insurances, etc and are already over your “50” number, then maybe put food into a lifestyle expense or do a 60/20/20 breakdown. If you add all those things up and are coming in under you “50” number, then use whatever is left over for your groceries, and then any money you spend beyond that on meals out or splurges will go into your lifestyle number.
For instance, when I’m budgeting my life like a champ, I only spend $50 per week on food for myself. That’s an easy “hard” number to put in my “needs.” On the flip side, I’ve worked with life coaching clients who spend $500 a week on food. – Hence it’s a personal journey. Since everyone has different thoughts and opinions I really encourage you to make your budget, and then see where this would fit for.
If you really want my recommendation though, I’d say put your *essential* grocery items in your “needs” (50%) and then any meals out or indulgences go into lifestyle (30%). This is honestly the trickiest part of the budget IMO, and once you’ve decided where/how you want to deal with food it’s smooth sailing!
Q2 UGH! I’m trying to make this work, but every way I play with the initial numbers I’m still going over my expenses! How am I supposed to budget if I can’t make this work?!?
If you can’t make your budget work in this guideline with some mild tweaks, it’s definitely time to make a change! Start selling your stuff, take a long, hard, *critical* look at all your subscriptions and “lifestyle” choices and figure out what you can nix. Remember, a retailer isn’t going to help you retire in the style you want – so stop giving them your money and start investing in yourself with the help of professionals like Lexington Law.
You might remember that, last week in episode 10 where we talk about ways to cut stress, get meaningful rest, and let go of guilt, we were getting ready to head to NOLA for a conference… well, we didn’t quite make it (as many of you who saw my Insta-story know). But instead of dwelling on that or getting (more) stressed out, we want to use this as an opportunity to talk more about following your intuition and bringing your power into yourself by trusting your intuition and listening to signs from the Universe.
In This Conversation We Cover:
The morning before our would-be flight
Why we didn’t go to New Orleans and how we worked through the guilt
Learning how and the importance of listening to your gut
Asking for what you want in life
Creating energy to get what’s best for you in life
Using the Violet flame to cultivate energy
Settling into what feels natural and right for you, despite what others might think
This giveaway is brought to you by the amazing influencers below! Enter by performing the actions listed in the Rafflecopter for a chance to win a $1,000 Gucci E-Gift Card!
Make sure to do the actions in the Rafflecopter before marking they are done! Marking done doesn’t automatically perform the action. Good luck! Winner will be announced in the Rafflecopter on this blog post.
One winner, giveaway runs from May 14, 2018 to May 21, 2018 (concludes at 11:59 PM on the last day). Open internationally. Void where prohibited. By entering you are agreeing that you are performing the actions in the Rafflecopter that you have marked as done. By entering you acknowledge that you are agreeing to these newsletter subscriptions and all other terms & conditions of the giveaway. More giveaway details can be read in the terms & conditions here. Winner will be announced within 14 days of the conclusion of the giveaway and entries will be verified by the hosts. Thanks for participating, I can’t wait for you to go check out these wonderful bloggers!
ICYMI, you can submit you questions on ANYTHING to me using the contact form. My responses might just appear on the blog! This reader’s questions focus on how to price yourself and ask for payment when getting started. She asks:
“I am an amateur photographer in college and not currently getting paid enough to afford even a low end tripod or professional photoshopping software, and I really can’t launch an official business, but I need to make money so I can spend money to make more money.
….Anyways I just took a few moment to calculate how much work I put into the after photo process which added up to anywhere between an hour to three hours for roughly ten to fifteen photos.
… So after all that I am basically wanting to know how should I ask to be paid? Should I wait until I have a few more pieces of equipment to ask? If I do get paid do I charge by the hour or have a flat rate and additional charges after a set number of photos/poses? Is there a big difference in the two? and what do I really need to get started?”
*Question has been condensed to protect writer’s anonymity
Phew! Okay, so first of all, major kudos for the hustle and entrepreneurial spirit in college!
Also, I want to give you major kudos for recognizing you’re not at the point of launching an official business. Too often, people won’t have the right equipment or training under the belt, but the fear of needing money gets to them and they launch subpar services, which isn’t cool. Ultimately, it will just hurt your reputation in the long run, so don’t do it.
With that said, you are investing a lot of time and do need money so I am going to share a couple of stories with you then my advice:
Story 1: My friend from college, Sami Kattan, hitch hiked a ride off Craigslist from Cali to Mexico, where he lived on the beach in a hammock, bartering his videography services for food and the occasional shelter. Over a fairly short period of time, he was able to work with local business and get paid for his services! That’s turned into a full on videography company in the states and tons of freelance work for him. He now supports himself through his business and rickshawing during certain high demand times of year in our college town.
Story 2: After I decided to officially launch my coaching business, I offered my services to a handful of friends for free to make sure I could workout the kinks. Some friends were awesome, and gave me thank you gifts or lunches; Another friend borrowed money from me and still haven’t paid me back three years later. She proceeded to block me on all social channels, despite the services working. Both were great experiences that money couldn’t buy. I gained confidence in my abilities, and learned how to deal with difficult clients who were just going to always be unhappy. It really tested my will on whether or not I wanted to stay in the game.
Notice, that in both of those stories, we were offering our services for free! You could try bartering like Sami did to start also, but get in the mindset that we all pay our dues at some point.
How To Price Yourself:
From my free clients, I was able to determine the hours invested into a client, and get feedback from consultation calls, to determine my rates. I used this formula:
How much money needed in a month (including a little money into savings) divided by how many clients could realistically be seen in a month and subtracted any other side hustle income = your price
*Note, this is for when you are starting out, overtime there will be other ways to refine and determine your pricing!
UPDATE: Also, I wouldn’t recommend this formula for bloggers/influencers! That’s an entirely different formula:
((Pageviews divided by 10,000) * 100) + ((Total social following # divided by 10,000) * 100) = blogger rate
MAJOR KEY ALERT: Notice I used the word REALISTIC, that means both based on how many I could see based on hours in my day juggled with other responsibilities and some self care/down time – you’ll also want to take into account that you aren’t going to come out the gate booking 20 clients in a month!
Personally, I would charge per package (a one hour session with 30 edited proofs – for additional edited proofs it’s an additional number) – exploring other photographers sites to see how they break down the packages, but don’t charge buy the hour. If it takes you 7 hours to edit 30 photos, your customer shouldn’t have to pay for that – it could also leave your models with pained expressions if they keep checking their watch so they don’t go over. Check out Rising Tide Society’s Facebook Group for more photographer related tips & advice (and you can creep on lots of photographers sites to see how they package and price – but keep in mind you’re still an amateur with limited equipment and a limited skill set, so don’t just copy their prices!
Now that you’ve calculated your worth & set your prices….
How To Ask For Payment:
Self promotion as an entrepreneur is one of the biggesstttt struggles! My friend Summer wrote a great post on “How To Over Your Fear Of Self Promotion”. The post has goodies for everyone, but is geared towards bloggers.
Honest & Humble:
When thinking about what you want to say, start by being honest & humble when you’re first starting out. I would rather undersell myself and give someone amazing results, than pretend I have my sh*t together and disappoint. Acknowledge that you’re still a ways off from being a full blown professional and are willing to do things at a deep discount compared to others.
Tap Your Network
Let people in your existing network know about the change! Start with people you’ve been previously doing pro-bono stuff for. From there, let friends & family know. Our networks are often our best sales people. Word of mouth is powerful! That’s pretty much how I get ALL of my business (and Instagram… and my blog… ).
Source Your Own Business
Think about people you would want to work with (specific example to follow) and reach out to them! You won’t get anywhere sitting on the side lines, you have to make your presence known. But don’t be spammy! Make sure you’ve actually done your homework on them and can speak to why you want to work with them specifically. From there you can create a mutually beneficial relationship!
Tip for finding some new business:
Check out local bloggers. Bloggers always need photography on the cheap. Normally they don’t want 200 edited photos from a set, but rather jut need a handful edited. Some photographers charge bloggers per hour or per outfit. You could set up a relationship where twice a month you shoot two outfits for $30 per session with 5-10 edited photos per outfit – or really ask the blogger what they can afford and what they would be looking for! At this point you should be building credibility, not focusing on the almighty dollar (as hard as that might be).
Hope that helps & for those looking for more advice, check out my services page!
Does anyone else have suggestions for our reader? How did you determine prices or ask to get paid when you were starting out?
Looking for the best podcasts for 20 somethings & confused millennials at heart?! You’ve come to the right place! I’ve rounded up my “go-to” podcasts! Everything from spirituality, business development, and of course entertainment! Let me know in the comments what your favorite podcasts are!!
The Confused Millennial Podcast
I mean obviously, it’s the title of the podcast! Plus it’s my new podcast! I’m so excited to go deeper into the content you regularly see on the blog, share a little more about myself, and bring on some amazingggg guests that are my greatest teachers!
This was the first podcast I ever started listening to regularly. Guy Raz could read me the phone book and my ears would be happy. Aside from him having the best radio voice ever, he always has the most amazing guests on. The interviews are always packed with relatable takeaways, tons of nuggets of wisdom, and loads of inspiration for entrepreneurs. Listen here.
That’s So Retrograde
This was the second podcast that drew me into this whole podcasting world. The girls from TSR are engaging, funny, and you’ll basically want to be their new BFF. They have a wide variety of guests, but all under the “wellness” umbrella.
If you’ve been a reader of mine for a while, you know Jordan was a huge source of courage for me to launch TCM! Her podcast focuses on health, wellness, and all things woo-woo. She has some really amazing guests that have led to some of the most beautiful moments I’ve had this past year, from applying to shaman school, meeting Shaman Durek, and so much more! My personal favorite episodes of hers are always the out there “woo-woo” one’s particularly these: Jenna Zoe, Biet SimkinShaman Durek, all things crystals with Energy Muse, and sooo many more! Listen here.
As Told By Nomads
Tayo Rockson is the host, and this was actually the first podcast I was ever a guest on over two years ago now (listen to it here!!)! Plus, Tayo is literally one of my favorite people on this planet! He’s unbelievably inspiring, down to earth, has a clear message, and honestly just has the most infectious energy! He’s been podcasting for a really long time (like way before it became super trendy) and has had SUCH a diverse range of guests. Listen here.
Your Own Magic
AHH this is – as the name would infer – pure magic! Allie and Raquelle are fantastic co-hosts and I just love their ethereal vibe. I have a lot of similar views/practices as them, so it basically feels like they are my long lost friends that I’ve never met and I love it! They do have guests on, but generally my favorite episodes are just the two of them talking. There have been a couple of guests I’ve loved which have been (of course) Shaman Durek and a psychic medium.
Ancient Wisdom Today
Is Shaman Durek’s podcast! Before he launched the podcast, I was actually recording a lot of his Insta-lives on my laptop to go back and re-listen too, so I love that I can subscribe and reference his empowering words whenever I want now! Listen here.
The Skinny Confidential Him & Her
Honestly, TSC is SUCH a case study for me! Her business acumen astounds me and I am always dissecting the strategy in EVERYTHING she does (shout out to Katherine from Slightly Savvy (ep 4 of TCM podcast!) for answering all my questions on timelines of TSC’s brand development). Lauryn and her husband host the podcast and have regular guests on who are all experts. I
t’s generally a pretty interesting show and the things that end up sparking inspiration for me are always really bizarre. For instance, Michael was talking about the history of toothpaste and the positive rewards system the creators built in (minty fresh breath) which actually is what led me to the idea of doing regular weekly giveaways on my Instagram. I can’t direct you to a particular “favorite” episode, since I don’t listen to all of them, and really will just choose one at random to have on in the background while cooking. Check it out here.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
AH I’ve always loved Dax! And I love his podcast! It’s not justtt because he’s had some of my all-time favorite guests on in his first 10 episodes (seriously, Ellen Degeneres, Zach Braff, Lauren Graham, Kristen Bell, and Ashton Kutcher?!? UGH) It’s also because it’s such a personal look into these people’s lives. You know, they all play so many different roles in the entertainment world, but it’s fascinating to see what makes them into the people they truly are unscripted. Plus listening to Dax’s life is always just SO relatable to me. Check it out here.
Masters of Scale with Reid Hoffman
Hoffman chats with famous founders of some of the world’s largest companies! Somewhat similar to Guy Raz, there’s just tons of nuggets of wisdom, inspiration, and lots to learn from each interview with insanely successful people! Personally, I LOVE the Sara Blakely episode on Spanx.
NOTABLE MENTIONS where I’m a guest:
If you guys aren’t sick of hearing me talk on my podcast yet, then check out some of the episodes I’ve been a guest on!
Adulthood Is… (probably my favorite interview I’ve ever given all about preserving our inner child and finding personal growth!)
I’m back, with most-of-the-time co-host and recovering people pleaser Eric Dresdale, to talk about a favorite millennial pastime: stressing out! We break down 10 Quick & Easy Ways to Cut Stress From Your Life ASAP, share our current life stressors, and answer some of your questions.
In This Conversation We Cover:
National stress awareness month
Our favorite de-stressing hacks
Asking for help & being of service
Meditation (if you want more tips for meditation, check out episode 2!)
To thank you for listening to The Confused Millennial, I want to do a fun giveaway! I’ll be giving away a package that’ll help you relax, look good, and get s*** done! (You can check out the whole $275+ package by clicking this link) If you want to enter…
I know what it’s like to hate your job. I’ve clung onto bad situations for dear life more times than I can count. Held onto jobs I hated and gave myself every excuse and bad reason to stay under the sun.
REAL TALK: I’ve never quit anything.
Okay, maybe that’s not totally true. In elementary school I did quit ballet. My grandmother kept telling me to put on my leotard and get dressed for class, but I refused. She made me stand in the exact spot I was in until I put it on. Shortly into our standoff, I began crying so bad because I had to “relieve” myself… but she still wouldn’t let me move. I kept telling her I was going to go, right there in the middle of our family room if she didn’t let me go to the bathroom. Instead of letting me go, she put newspaper under me like a dog. I cried and cried, trying to hold it, until I peed myself on the newspaper, right there in our family room. That was the last thing I ever quit.
Okay well maybe not the last, but the last thing that could impact other people’s opinions of me in a potentially negative way. What does that look like IRL?
That looks like, I’ve never broken up with anyone. I’ve always been dumped, even when I knew a relationship was over longggg before it ended.
That looks like, I’ve never quit a job, I’ve always been fired or had some amicable ending (like the restaurant closed down or my internship ended because the semester was over).
I realize that’s totally not healthy or sane… but hey, the things that happen to us as kids shape us. So I am here to tell you today it’s okay to quit. The old adage, “Winners never quit and quitters never win,” simply isn’t true. In each of our lives, there will be plenty of instances we need to advocate for ourselves and cut something out that is no longer serving us.
5 Bad Excuses To Stay In A Job You Hate:
“Things Will Get Better”
No they won’t. That’s what people in abusive relationships tell themselves. Unless some major organizational change is impending, chances are people will stay the same or get worse. Think about it, humans are creatures of habit, comfortable in their way of coping with one another and the likelihood of someone changing within an organization are slim to none.
* That’s not to say people can’t change. People can change, but when you’ve gotten into a cycle of responding to one another in an organization, the entire organization needs to change. Otherwise, people get triggered and regress to old coping mechanisms that have worked for them. Change starts small and is a slow process.
“I’ve given so much to this company, I know my time is coming”
Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it probably isn’t. You don’t think the guy to your left and the gal to your right don’t feel the exact same way? Well guess what, all three of you aren’t getting that promotion or extra shares in the company. Companies try to squeeze as much work out of their employees as humanly possible. They typically do this in the form of lip service conversations about how valued you are and how they really can’t wait to get you the compensation package you deserve… but you’ll have to wait until that next round of funding, or for x to happen before… their “hands are simply tied”. The truth is, unless you have a pension or some other exit plan/package, you probably aren’t going to get what you really desire.
Reality check: we live in a dog eat dog world and you need to create the life and revenue stream you desire. You can’t sit around and pray for that next good thing to come your way. Go out and make it come your way. Of course, luck happens, but if you’ve been sitting on the sidelines your whole life, you probably won’t even know what to do with that luck when it does come around.
“But, I make really good money”
Great, and if you did it once, you’ll do it again. – Oh and if you were making such good money, then you probably should’ve been saving some too… #justbeinghonest. You see it’s a lot better to leave a job you were making great money at, then to hold onto it for the money. Eventually you’ll get yourself fired because you’ve fallen into a resentful funk and you’re miserable to work with. Take it from me, because that’s literally what happened. No amount of money is worth your happiness, because eventually both will run out. Take care of yourself first, the money will follow.
“I love my co-workers”
Finding an environment where you adore you co-workers can be a beautiful thing. It’s truly magical to bond with these people you spend more hours in a given day with than your own family or friends. Especially as we get older, it can be harder and harder to make adult friends. But that’s no excuse to stay in a job you hate.
REAL TALK: I loved the majority of my coworkers at two of my jobs (well more than two, but for brevity sake I am only going to share about two):
Job 1: I loved my co-workers and actually didn’t mind my job. Until I started to burn out from too many other responsibilities. My bad attitude began isolating me from my co-workers, and by the time I was finally let go, our friendships had grown to be more transactional than relational and it was hard to ever find the same footing.
Job 2: I hated my boss, and so did my co-workers. We actually overall loved the company though and bonded over our love/hate relationship with both. Eventually, one by one, people got better offers or emotionally vomited on our boss and got themselves fired. The band broke up.
People move on in life, it’s just want happens.
“I’ll lose my health insurance”
No joke, I’ve had friends waiting to quit their jobs until they get married so they can go on a spouses plan. The reality is (granted Obamacare is obvi changing) Obamacare’s subsidized plans are actually pretty nice. Obamacare unsubsidized plans are the ones that suck. Chances are, if you’re on unemployment for a while you will likely qualify for a subsidized plan. With that plan you’ll probably pay less for about the same coverage you were getting through your employer.
The reality is, there is never a good reason to stay if you hate your job. Life is to short to wait around for things to fall into place.
Last month, I chatted all about the signs it’s time to make your next career move + tips on how to go about it! I wrote this post from my own personal experience of getting fired twice in a month, to launching and eventually wanting to quit the blog. It was fun to reflect on the signs that I needed to make a change and even more fun to see how those changes (like launching The Confused Millennial podcast) gave me a rejuvenated sense of passion! This year for me is about no longer hiding behind my keyboard. The podcast is one way I’m stepping out of that! What changes are you thinking about making? Maybe you’ll even want to consider becoming a CFP like Brittany Castro did [read why here]
Answering All Of The Existential Life Crisis Questions
Speaking of E, we alsooo brought one of TCM’s most popular blog posts of all time (the story of how we met) from the written word to the spoken! In episode 7 of the podcast we told the story of how we met, and I have to say, it’s a HOOT! Listen here.
Another podcast episode! [Can you guys see where I’m spending most of my time these days?!] In episode 5 of the podcast, Eric and I talk about our relationships with food and our bodies in response to a reader question on “manifesting health.” We break down how to use intuition to change the relationship to your body & food [listen here]. It’s a topic I’ve never really talked about on the blog before but I loved sharing it with you all.
Updating our bedroom and my office!
UGH I’m THRILLED about this! You might remember our home tour from last year… and while I love love love how everything came out, living wise, I had a few qualms. You see, the overhead lighting in my office was non-existent. So by 1:00 pm everyday I found myself working in the dark, eyes strained, combatting a headache. No fun. When I found this hanging lamp from Versanora it changed the game! It extends right over my desk, and is literally a renter’s dream lamp if you’re like me and don’t want to deal with installing overhead lighting! See lamp and updated jungalow home office here.
The other issue: our bedroom (above). I really wanted an accent chair to bring all the colors and textures together, but they were all expensive AF or didn’t quite match. But this one from Versanora is literally perfect! It’s the exact color and texture of the briefcase accent in our room and the perfect size! The other issue we experienced was that we didn’t actually have a lamp! We’d always loved those “hollywood” feeling lights and this was an excellent addition! It also has a “Step” button switch which makes it easy to turn on and off since it’s not connected to a light switch! Shop the Versanora chair and tri-pod lamp. See our updated industrial meets minimalist bedroom here.
Color healing & color therapy!
Did you know that colors are made up of energetic frequencies that we are literally downloading into our system all day?! That’s why some colors make you feel a certain way! Last month I chatted with the amazing Walaa from Color-Ways! She’s a certified color therapist, intuitive, and all around amazing human being! In our podcast episode we covered SO many nuggets of wisdom on how you can use color to live your best life & heal! Plus she even did a five minute color healing meditation for us!! Make sure you get cozy while listening so you can enjoy alllll the sounds of her crystals and the delicious green vibes! Listen to the episode on how to use color to life your best life & heal here.
You guys, I’m SO excited to start doing something DIFFERENT on my Instagram account which is: weekly giveaways! So if you aren’t following my over there make sure you get on that! Also, for some reason Instagram barely shows my photos to my followers so make sure you engage/interact so they show up on your feed more! Or you can turn on notifications so you never miss a post! Today (5/2) is the LAST day to enter the giveaway where I’m giving 1 lucky winner a copy of Paul Angone’s new book, 101 Questions (click here to enter) – and this week, one lucky winner is going to snag a FREE session with the unbelievable Walaa from Color-Ways (just check this post for the details!)!
*All giveaways will require you to subscribe/rate/review the podcast, so once you’ve done that ONCE you’re all set for future giveaways! Click here to subscribe/rate/review easily!
Today I’m thrilled to introduce you to my friend Walaa from Color Ways, a certified color therapist who uses her knowledge and intuition to help women all over the world to transform their lives. Eric and I have both worked with her in the past, and we can’t recommend her enough!
So what exactly is color therapy? Well, like everything in the world, colors are made up of different energy frequencies. So by looking at the colors that we are at our core, we can gain a deeper self-awareness into who we are, move forward in our lives, and bring out our best selves – Walaa views it as “the map of our inner world.” Plus, as you’ll hear in this episode, it’s a lot of fun!
GIVEAWAY – Enter for a FREE Color Reading!!
Walaa is generously offering one lucky winner a color reading! I’ll have all the details on my Instagram feed, but it’s pretty simple. To enter, all you have to do is…