First off, Negging isn’t cool and no one should put up with a person’s negging. It is done purely to put a person down so much against their will to get what they want out of you. It can also be said as a form of manipulation and that is very toxic in any relationship!
What exactly is negging?
Negging is an act of emotional manipulation whereby a person makes a deliberate backhanded compliment or otherwise flirtatious remark to another person to undermine their confidence and increase their need of the manipulator’s approval.
Why Negging is an Actual Form of Abuse in Relationships?
Abuse comes in many shapes and forms, sometimes it’s not easy to spot, and sometimes it might not even come across as abuse, but all abuse, no matter the form, takes an emotional toll. One form of verbal abuse is known as negging. It occurs when an individual makes a backhanded compliment or insult that is designed to undermine that person’s confidence while simultaneously giving the insulter attention as they strive for their approval. In other words, one partner is constantly putting down the other one to get attention.
So now we know what negging is and many of us, who are in a relationship might’ve remembered many things their partners have said, which may be negging, if not so sure yet, read these few signs which will tell you whether you are in a toxic relationship or not!
1) They’re Narcissist
People who are never wrong while they put everyone down and talk themselves UP, are infact, NARCISSIST. A narcissist might seem ‘open‘ with you but in reality, they just love to talk about themselves, and aren’t actually interested in what’s going on in your life. If there is… a lack of vulnerability or sharing of true feelings or interests, not only can this start to paint the picture of what may be a narcissist, but you (might be) being negged.
2) Their compliments are always backhanded
“Wow, you’re actually pretty smart!” or “You can be so beautiful when you have makeup on!” By pointing out a negative, the (one being negged) focuses on the flaw and starts trying to fix it and gain their partner’s approval. If your partner seems to exclusively give you backhanded compliments that leave you feeling hurt and puzzled instead of bolstered and happy, that could mean they’re negging you.
3) They compare you to their exes
Occasionally mentioning an ex when it’s relevant is totally normal in a relationship. But if you’re being constantly compared to an ex by your partner, it’s probably because they’re trying to make you feel insecure and second-best as a way to make you want to ‘prove yourself‘ by sticking around. Not only they are feeding negative thoughts about your ownself into your mind but also manipulating you to be in a way your partner wants you to be.
4) They’re always so busy
“Sorry babe I’m busy doing work”, “Hey I can’t meet I’m too busy” Obviously, sometimes people are just genuinely too busy to hang out. But if you’re seeing someone who is always too busy for you and makes no real effort to meet up or plan dates, that’s a red flag. Claiming to be busy all the time is a desperate attempt to show their pseudo-importance.
5) You’re the butt of the joke
Having to be able to joke around your partner and sharing laughs is great for a healthy relationship but constantly being the topic to be joked about, whether your insecurities or your habits and appearance can put your self-confidence down under the bus. If your partner often uses you as the butt of the joke that could be their way of trying to subtly put you down while passing it off as ‘humor’.
What to do if you are being negged?
If you have come to notice about your partner’s backhand compliments or jokes, or how busy their schedule is, the best you can do is to have a one-on-one conversation with them about this. You need to address the elephant in the room or it’ll damage you mentally.
Your partner’s reaction will say it all: if they’re shocked, upset, and willing to work on their behavior, then it might be worthwhile to give them a chance. But if your partner dismisses your feelings and refuses to take any blame, that’s your cue to GTFO of the relationship before their controlling, manipulative behavior escalates.
We hope this article helped you, share it with your friends, you never what really goes on inside any happy looking relationship, right?
The former One Direction member Liam Payne and singer/judge Cheryl took to Twitter to announce their breakup after having a relationship of two years and a baby named ‘Bear’ together.
Liam wrote to his fans, “Cheryl and I are sad to announce that we are going our separate ways. It’s been a tough decision for us to make. We still have so much love for each other as a family. Bear is our world and we ask that you respect his privacy as we navigate our way through this together.”
Meanwhile, Cheryl too tweeted about the same and quite roughly wrote the exact same statement. The two began dating all the way back in 2015, and their son Bear, 1, was born just last year on March 22, 2017. In announcing his birth, Liam wrote on Instagram, “I’m incredibly lucky to welcome our new baby boy into the world. It’s a moment that I will never forget for the rest of my life and my favorite memory I have so far.”
Check out their tweets here:
Cheryl’s relationship with Payne began after her divorce from French restaurateur Jean-Bernard Fernandez-Versini. She was previously married to the former England footballer Ashley Cole. Payne, originally from Wolverhampton, has gone on to forge a successful solo career after One Direction decided to take a break in 2015, with his song ‘Strip That Down’ being streamed globally more than a billion times. In March, Payne admitted he and Cheryl had relationship “struggles“, amid tabloid press reports about their life together.
Here are some adorable pictures of the former couple that’ll make you even more so sad about their breakup!
There are two perceptions of marriage, one for men and one for women. Men are supposed to get married when he’s settled or before he goes bald. Tragic but the truth! But women, they are meant to be married in the early 20s or so. But has anyone ever thought, how that can be really harmful to you as a person? Taking your time to figure out where you stand, what you want in life for men and women alike is what is necessary.
When you take your time to first establish, ‘Do I want to get married?’, only then can you decide ‘When to get married!’. Getting married can be the most beautiful thing to ever happen to you or it can be a complete nightmare. So, for all the readers who are confused, if they aren’t in their 20s anymore or way beyond the societal ‘golden’ age to get married, read further.
You’ll know why marrying late can actually be very beneficial for you and your partner as well:
1) You know who you are
You’ve seen pretty much a lot of things by now. Lived in your teenage years, gone through a couple of heartbreaks, lost people, gained new ones, made some special bonds than blood relations, and were gifted by many betrayals. You know what you are, where you stand because of all the choices you’ve made in your life up till now. Your decisions in choosing a career for you, seeing different kinds of couple, some married for 20 years and some who got divorced in 20 days. You would know now what kind of partner you’re looking for, if lucky you’ve one already. Seeing such different kinds of relationships and going through such experience have guided you to be prepared for your own marriage, as you took your time to be prepared.
2) You’ll know what kind of relationship turns into marriage
Knowing yourself well leads to having a good sense of what you’re looking for in a relationship. When you know your expectations, your reality, you can share that maturity with your partner that turns into a successful marriage. This may not come in early age as people are experimenting, they’re not looking to settle down. But only as you grow up, you learn better things in life and how important little things or valuable a person can be.
3) Gratitude enhanced by the waiting
Once you’ve waited long enough to get married, you value your better half. You know the time you’ve spent without them and how lonely it might’ve gotten at times. Waiting makes you patient and more humble. And that makes any relationship work better than anything. You love and cherish every moment, and are mature during fights. Getting married later in life doesn’t mean you are more grateful than someone who married at a young age. But there is a profound sense of gratitude made all the sweeter for the years of waiting and wondering if or when it was going to happen.
4) Learning from other’s experience
When you’re the last one in your group of friends to marry, you have the opportunity to study your friend’s marriages. It’s great to have marriage mentors and people who are a few decades ahead of you, but it’s also helpful to have people of your age who have experienced the first few years of marriage. Use your single years to ask your friends about what they’ve learned and if they would do anything differently looking back on their newlywed years. You don’t always have to learn from your own experiences, observe others and make a decision.
Have you married late? Did it benefit you? Leave us your views and experience in the comment section below
ORGASM, there I said it! What is so taboo about it? Wait, is it that we aren’t allowed to talk about women orgasm or that it isn’t so important and hence it’s fading. What is so wrong if a woman wants to pleasure herself? Are only men allowed to be happy and their satisfaction is of utmost importance? Women-centric four short stories that makeup ‘Lust Stories’, talk about subjects people usually avoid. What women are neglected and how they need to accept whatever that’s served on the plate.
Anurag Kashyap showed us how a woman becomes obsessive and possessive if she’s void of love or lonely. She enters into this clandestine affair with her eyes open, speaking of Amrita Pritam and Draupadi, and soon finds herself consumed by it, stalking the young man and wanting more, more, more. We are indeed watching a woman unravel, but we are also watching a woman lose control to possessiveness, reduced to behaving the way a man would.
Zoya Akhtar’s story may just be love without words. A sexual relationship between a bachelor and a maid who works for him. Until his parents arrive and find him a girl to marry. It is a minimal, beautiful film with Akhtar gradually and lovingly fetishising the very act of cleaning a house even as the maid begins to grow wistful. She enjoys screwing the master but it cannot lead anywhere. She knows she has no right to expect more, something she is reminded when she sees a fellow maid thrilled with discarded finery, and yet her hands tremble. For she can only dream but can never achieve it!
Banerjee showed us where actually a woman stands in most marriages, with her husband and her children. How she can be made so guilty for finding happiness in her life. For a woman to ask for a divorce is a sin. And how complicated things become, it is not okay to cheat on your spouse, but what if you are dead being with that person? You can’t leave your partner either, so what choice is she left with?
Karan Johar left us all with laughs but created a huge AF impact on many mindsets as well! To not be guilty to love yourself, and be proud of it. Being a woman, giving birth to children isn’t your only happiness. A shy young bride, having considered her entire life right upto the wedding-night as foreplay, quickly tires of the five-second intercourse her husband loves so much. Love is something that is still a taboo in our culture. Sadly, we still don’t have that many love marriages, we are not allowed to date, and our parents still decide who you are going to spend your life with.
From being possessive, not being able to dream big and make amends with your life, from having to be in a marriage that sucks the life out of you to be ashamed of loving yourself, women go through these phases and nobody wants to talk about it! Sex, marriage, divorce, affair, orgasm and lust, something that shouldn’t be taboo anymore and people need to speak up about it.
Team meetings are boring, and no one else can deny it! But at The Brunette Diaries, our team meetings seem more fun, as we happen to deviate from our discussions, end up gossiping, and playing board games at a stretch. Fun, right?
But to get the entire week straight, we need hard-hitting topics to put out in front of our readers. After dissecting movies watched during the weekend, we finally settled on discussing the topics raised by Radhika Apte’s story from Netflix’ Lust Stories. If you are yet to watch this one, please do!
Radhika Apte was seen sharing hell lot of monologues in her story, which was actually an eye-opener. In one of her recitations, what hit my heart was ‘is emotional intimacy with someone else, despite being in a committed relationship cheating?’ Twisted, no?
This time, we are not talking about engaging in a physical activity, but emotions. In the world of no-strings-attached, a lot of people prefer having one-night stands or casual relationships, and not giving yourself entirely to just one person. Maybe that kind of love and commitment is scarier than the friends with benefits. Well, to each his own! In here, we are not to discussing the rights and wrongs in a relationship as a whole, but to think deeply about the emotional intimacy we share with someone else who is not our life partner.
A lot of times shit happens, and we humans have excelled making things more complicated than they ever existed. Many times, a lot of people who are truly, madly, deeply in love with one person, end up finding the mental peace and solace in someone else’s side. This time, we are not talking about finding solace in someone’s arms or so, but talking about the harmony one finds in a friend, who is a mere emotional attachment. So, if someone finds such a person, is that really cheating on your partner?
The soulmate can be the right kind of a partner, but if circumstances change, and we find the same emotional connection with someone else who the partner is not aware of, will that be cheating?
Everything is going all perfect as planned. The person is perfect, the situations are perfect, the sex is amazing, but if the kind of emotional intimacy asked lacks, and to attain that level of affinity, we end up searching for someone else. What will that be called?
The person with whom we share the emotional warmth becomes the third-man, will that be cheating?
Just thinking out loud! this might not give me all the answers, but what is cheating to you? Share your views in the comments below.
Isn’t the weather just romantic? The cloudy sky, cold breeze, the damp atmosphere, everything about monsoon is romantic. You either feel like eating all the hot stuff in the kitchen or simply just cuddle up under a blanket in your bed. You can say this weather is perfect for ‘Netflix and Chill’ ;). We’ve got a movie list prepped up for you to binge watch it with your other half, special someone, your honey boo or whatever sweet adorable names you’ve got for them, being all snuggled up and simply enjoy these movies in the rains.
1) 50 first dates
50 First Dates Official Trailer 2004 - YouTube
50 First Dates is a warm yet funny love story. It is about a man who falls for a girl who suffers from short-term memory loss. She remembers only the days before her accident and she waked up believing it’s her birthday every day because she cannot remember anything beyond that day. So, this guy tries to woo her every single day, prays that she falls in love with him for that day and most importantly, he loves her without any conditions.
2) P.S. I Love You
P.S. I Love You Official Trailer #1 - (2007) HD - YouTube
This movie might make you shed a few tears but is surely worth watching. It is about a young widow who starts her life afresh with the help of ten notes that her late husband has left for her.
3) A Walk To Remember
A Walk To Remember Official Trailer (HD) - YouTube
It is a heart-wrenching yet beautiful story of a guy who falls in love with a girl who has a terminal disease, and how the couple spends their last days together. P.S. – Keep a tissue box handy.
4) Shakespeare In Love
Shakespeare in Love Official Trailer #1 - Tom Wilkinson Movie (1998) HD - YouTube
This movie depicts Shakespeare as a struggling playwright/actor who is out of ideas and searching for a muse. That’s when he meets Viola de Lesseps, an aspiring stage actress who loves Shakespeare’s plays but must pose as a man to follow her dream because women aren’t allowed to act. The two have an instant connection, and the comedy of errors that follows ends up inspiring Romeo and Juliet. Again, this love story isn’t true, but it’ll make you see Shakespeare’s most famous play in a whole new light.
5) Love Aaj Kal
Love Aaj Kal | Official Trailer | Saif Ali Khan, Deepika Padukone - YouTube
A couple part their ways because they move to different places to pursue their career. But they say it right, love knows no boundaries, and the distance actually makes them realise their feelings for each other.
6) The Notebook
The Notebook Movie Trailer [HD] - YouTube
This is one of the movies you can watch again and again with your partner and still not feel bored. The story is set in 1940s where a young and not-so-affluent man falls in love with a rich woman. Soon, they are separated because of their social differences. What happens next? Well, you need to watch the movie for that.
7) About Time
About Time Official Trailer #1 (2013) - Rachel McAdams Movie HD - YouTube
From the man behind Love Actually, Notting Hill and Bridget Jones’s Diary comes this uplifting flick about a young man who realizes he has the ability to time travel. A wonderful reminder to cherish each and every day (and also that Rachel McAdams is amazing in everything).
Please tell us your favorite romantic movie to watch with your partner in the comment section below <3
It’s often that we feel so unworthy of ourselves, we start to hate everyone, everything but moreover, we start hating ourselves. Things are not working in our wind, everything starts falling apart and only reason you can fathom or to blame is your own self. YOU FEEL LIKE A FAILURE. It’s okay, it is very natural you see. Life knocks you down, there are people better than you, in looks or in skills, you are not appreciated enough or completely ignored, probably around this time such feelings start arising. You are sad or even depressed, you are easily irritated by even someone’s breathing, you start having mood swings and you become the meanest human being to ever walk this planet or a lil pupper who keeps weeping, there’s no in between! Now what should one do when they start feeling such things? We’ll tell you. Read on to know that feeling like a failure is natural, you’re not alone in this and things definitely get BETTER.
1) You’re not alone
There are many out there, just like you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Such feelings of being a failure arise in many situations, but what’s important is to know how to tackle them. Having a conversation with those who feel the same will help you. There are many sites online where people feeling such things, share their stories. Stories that will inspire you to reach out to people.
2) Notice the pattern
How often do these feelings keep arising, is it in the intervals of months or weeks or even days? Having such thoughts is injurious to your health, the sooner you realize the pattern, the easier it is to battle such thoughts.
3) Everything is going to be okay
It’s not the end of the world! Even though it may seem like it, with the burden on your chest feeling suffocated, the heavy weight on your shoulder to constantly prove yourself, how shattering it is to be ignored by people on a daily basis, but my darling, believe me, it is NOT the end. There’s more to life, more to YOU than you realize. As any Disney movie, eventually it has a happy ending. Once you start accepting these negative thoughts gracefully is when you start acting on it. Things do get better in time, allow it to be healed.
Don’t punish yourself, you as a first step, need to forgive YOURSELF. There’s no point of blaming, it’ll bring more agony but when you allow yourself to make mistakes, you learn. You become better, you start experiencing things differently and more positively.
5) Be around positive people
It’s true when they, “People rub off on other people”. Being around negative people will only lead you to have negative thoughts. But being around positive people, people who are happy no matter what, those who have the better understanding of things, those who help others to be better, are the kinds you need to be friends with.
6) Keep an eye on the future
Your mistakes are past now, don’t keep reminding yourself of that and keep punishing for it is present and the future. You need to let go and move on in order to reinvent yourself. To give your mind space to accept new experiences without the guilt of having the feelings of a failure. Thinking about your goals and dreams makes you act on it today, leaving you with tons of dedication and a vision for a bright future.
7) Be kind
You out of all people know what cruelty is like, being yelled at, or simplest of being ignored. Having to feel all of that from others, how worse it is for you to get all that from yourself. You need to stop being so hard on yourself. Stop pushing yourself over the edge, stop blaming yourself. Being kind to oneself is a must, it allows you to be kind towards others. That creates a happy cycle, which leads to a positive way of life.
Hope this article helped you, if so, please share your story with us, Our email firstname.lastname@example.org