I am Jennifer Flynn, a Life Coach. I help busy high-achievers end the war between work and play. Whether you feel like you are ‘never enough’, say yes to everything and don’t know how to end the overwhelm, or are sick of coming in last behind everything and everyone else, I can help!
Everything works better if it gets unplugged for a little while.
What is any tech support line’s number one solution before all things? Unplug it…leave it unplugged for enough time to FULLY power down, and then plug it back in!
Guess who else that works for?
Recently I was in a gorgeous beach location, for a class if you can believe it, and I took a few days on the outset to unplug. The nature of this location left me with VERY limited internet and no cell service so, truth be told, I couldn’t have been fully plugged in if I wanted to. The types of experiences that take the power of being plugged in out of my hands really are best. Sometimes I need protection from myself and my love of work. Do you ever feel that way?
I took the time to get quiet and notice things I don’t often take the time to notice about myself and learned a few lessons.
Some things I ‘knew’ but needed reminded of, other things were a little more slow to soak in, kind of like the sunshine that quickly lead to a little extra rosiness.
Here is what showed up:
Everyone will be ok…
you are not as important as you think you are….This is not a bad thing! In reality, we are all replaceable, especially in the short term. The team could take care of anything that was needed, the ‘Village’ and Grandma were available to the kids. Everyone’s needs were met.
The people who have true emergency that directly impacts you always know how to reach you.
FOMO is real, and sometimes you don’t even know you have it until you don’t have access to the constant stimuli.
For those who suffer from this one particularly, you won’t die if you aren’t plugged in, and neither will anyone else. I promise.
To some this can be a big one. The dopamine trigger from social media and constant flood of your inbox is REAL. It can hijack your brain and make you think you need it, and you might be missing ‘an opportunity’ if you don’t have constant access. Put on your vacation reminder, make a socail media peeps know you are taking a time out and promise all the juicy details AFTER you get back on the grid.
People understand, they might be jealous, but they understand and are happy for you and actually work NOT to bother you. When you pre-frame your departure as ‘unplugged’ and you explicitly tell them what you need ahead of time they will work hard not to have to bother you.
Re-entry can be a bitch.
Nothing like the off grid hangover….in fact the fear of it is actually a big reason people won’t go unplugged too many days in a row. If you get over the idea of FOMO, you fear the beast you come back to.
Give yourself the gift of pushing a little harder before you leave so you don’t have to when you get back. Also add a reentry day that no one knows about (vacation responder still on) to get grounded and set yourself up for success and ease back into reality.
Zero contact is AHHHH-Mazing for your mindset AND your momentum.
Taking a full and complete break gives you greater creativity and recharges energy stores you didn’t even know you had. While off grid I had epiphanies and clarity and ah-has in totally randome places and random times. It’s like the flow that I didn’t know was missing was restored. After re-entry recovery… business picked up, sales for my clients skyrocketed and everything I touched felt like magic. I was laser focused and maximally productive.
And you can be too!
Go all in…no half ass unplugging, no “I’ll work a little or just work mornings, blah blah blah.” Don’t touch it…put a vacation responder on your email You can clean up on your re-entry day.
You don’t have to go ‘off grid’ in some exotic location to get this. You can CHOOSE IT FOR YOURSELF right at home. Have a staycation and just unplug the internet and the phone. Get in touch with nature. Get in touch with YOU. You don’t even have to have an agenda for it. Just be and do things you love and only things that you love.
Go put you ass in a chair, toes in the sand….umbrella drink in your hand, and all that.
What prevents you from unplugging? Share with us and let’s see how we can help you get that time without hassle and headache! Comment below or share with someone who needs this message!
Grab our free tool to get helpful tips and tricks to get more out of your business and life with less hassle at www.thebalancemaven.com/cashflowkillers
I talk to businesses all the time who are experiencing symptoms related to peaks and valleys in cash flow and they all have lots of reasons that they think it is happening. They also have lots of places where they think they should invest or cut back in order to solve the problem. I’m always intrigued by the creative solutions that they will employ or problems they will shift these symptoms to in order to avoid what, in my experience, is the real answer….the buyers gate. What is the buyers gate? It is the entry way to your business. It is the gateway through which leads travel to become your patron. It is the magical solution to cash flow problems and success of your business.
So if that’s all true why would anyone want to AVOID attention on such a thing?
Because it requires selling, and not everyone loves selling.
Many service entrepreneurs don’t feel confident in their sales process. It is hard to sell yourself as the commodity. They know it is important…if not crucial to the success of their business, but they will still avoid it when they can. Typically a lack of confidence is a symptom of not having a masterful process that allows them to have a consistent system that leads to consistent results.
I often hear business owners struggling between a win that they can’t explain….they don’t know what they did different or why it worked this time and hasn’t so many others, but “YAY! just be grateful for the wi,” and then repeated failures where the lead either gives the dreaded, “I’ll think about it,” or worse, the Houdini act where they disappear entirely and just stop responding to calls and emails.
It isn’t easy for some to step in to vulnerable space, risking what people will think, and talk about something as personal as other people’s money. Money you want them to give to you, let alone do it confidently like it’s any other conversation.
The reality is…it IS like any other conversation with the buyer in many ways. We listen, we talk, we serve. The key is to have a repeatable process that allows for a confident experience that honors both parties. We also have to understand that we are not really the commodity at all. We are, simply put, the vehicle through which they invest in themselves. You aren’t competing against your industry competition. You are competing with your buyer. That can add to the challenge.
When you have these conversations, what comes up for you? Do you love it or hate it? Perhaps it’s a mixed bag. We would love to hear what challenges you face most often in your sales conversations with prospective buyers. How can we help?
Join us for our next FREE ‘Getting The Yes’ Masterclass where we unpack the mistakes most service based entrepreneurs make when opening their buyers gate and the secrets to keeping it open. Head over to thebalancemaven.com and get out free tool that helps you move from cash flow killer to killing it here: thebalancemaven.com/cashflowkillers. Not only do you get a free tool with a bonus video series in the meantime, but you will also get notified of the upcoming free class! Now that’s a bargain!
I have been having a lot of conversations with entrepreneurs lately about their business…not a shocker given my profession right?! However, lately I have noticed a pattern erupting.
If you have followed me for very long you know that I LOVE business strategy and helping entrepreneurs and small business owners get the most out of their businesses. I love crafting the big vision and then showing them exactly what we need and how to get there. We set this up for them to have lots of passion and enthusiasm while avoiding overwhelm and burnout. You also know that I put an emphasis on sales as the gateway to your business.
In my recent discussions I have been getting a lot of feedback around the belief that you have to be an extrovert to be good at sales. Meaning you must be things like a: gregarious, verbose, social loving, mingling, weekend warrior kind of person. To the contrary, you can’t be great at sales if you tend to be quiet, prefer to stay home with a good book or hugging the wall at a party and keeping a general low profile in the social arena.
The truth is….none of that matters. Yup…you read that right. It’s all bullshit. What matters more than if you are an introvert or an extrovert or ambivert…or any ‘vert’ at all is your skill set. I have seen the most socially apt person suck at sales, and I have seen the quietest wall flower around that you might have mistaken for a deaf mute at a party absolutely glow in a 1:1 conversation. All you have to do to be good at sales is uplevel your skill set.
Too often when we hear people talk about sales training or skills they immediately feel like they need to take a shower because they immediately get a picture of a scumbag sleazeball who is pushily chasing them around a used car lot. This could not be further from the truth.
In its purest form it isn’t really about selling at all….it is about moving, motivating and inspiring people through conversation. We all move people. We move our children to do chores, and homework, and behave and eat vegetables…eventually move out. We move employees to be more productive and take on more responsibility, to be good leaders, etc. We move our customers and clients to invest in themselves through us and our products or services. We are all in the business of moving and inspiring people.
Sales is nothing more than moving people. We are moving them to a decision or an action for their highest and greatest good. Without this ability our business do not reach their fullest potential. Without mastery of this skill, I do not get to use all the other fancy tools in my bag to strategize, leverage and uplevel their business. Without sales there is no business to grow. Why? Because people have to first say yes and become a buyer of what we offer before we can serve them.
What roadblocks do your prospective buyers run into when trying to move them to take action?
Where do you see yourself struggle in inspiring them in this process?
Keep your eyes peeled for our upcoming free masterclass to help you uplevel your skill set without feeling sales-ey or pushy.
How can I get more people to the conversations so it’s not so hard to convert them when they do get there?
It all begins with how you are seeding the sale. What is ‘seeding’? Seeding is dropping things into conversation or the sphere of awareness of your prospective buyers. It is piquing the curiosity and interest of others and trusting that if the ground is fertile it will grow with a little watering. The lovely thing about seeding is it can be subtle and does not require pushy sales tactics that make you feel sleazy.
A few ways to seed the sale that are within easy reach and you can start today! I am going to give you four that are always top of mind for me. Please feel free to reach out with questions or comments below!
Testimonials/ Social Proof
We know testimonials exist. We make decisions to buy or work with someone based on them, but we are often afraid to ask for them.
People want to know that the path they are considering has been traveled by someone else. They want to know they are not alone, and that others have had an experience that they too desire to have. They also want to be in the ‘cool kids club’. People want to be the person in those stories and experiences that your testimonials describe. Can you imagine how great it also feels to be the person sharing those stories? Your people are dying to be asked to share their wonderful experiences! They often simply don’t know how or where to do so, and they likely don’t understand the impact they would have and how much it would serve you. People are good. They want to make a difference for you the same way you make a difference for them.
Invite them to be part of the ‘cool kids club’. Let them know they are the elite amongst the elite in your tribe and that you would love to have more people like them in your world. It is the greatest compliment to be asked to give a testimonial or send a referral. They are often wishing they could have given back already.
Ways to get more people to the sales conversation - YouTube
How to ask for a testimonial:
When they give you a compliment, graciously accept it and then let them know how much you appreciate them and say, “Would you mind sharing those words with others who may not know us as well yet?” Give them a form, or ask them if you can put those words into an email for them that you will send for thier approval.
If you weren’t offered a compliment..elicit one. Examples: “How was your visit today?” “What were your takeaways from our time together?” “ How do you feel about the experience you have been having with <insert, you, your business, your team etc>?” “What do you like most about working with us?” When they offer kind words go back to item #1 and ask to share their words.
How to ask for a referral:
When they give you a compliment, graciously accept it and then let them know how much you appreciate them and say, “I really love serving you and I would love to have more people just like you. Who do you know that could benefit from the same experience you have had?”
If you weren’t offered a compliment..elicit one. Examples: “How was your visit today?” “What were your takeaways from our time together?” “ How do you feel about the experience you have been having with <insert, you, your business, your team etc>?” “What do you like most about working with us?” When they offer kind words go back to item #1 and invite them to refer.
What about those people who don’t refer because they don’t want anyone to know that they are getting ‘help’? Acknowledge and give them permission to feel how they feel….AND then give them verbiage. “Sally, I know that our work together is very private and I take confidentiality very seriously. I love working with you and I am proud of your results. I hope you are too! If I could give you a way to send me referrals without you having to say you work with me, would you be willing to do so?” Most people will say yes here. If they don’t it is a prime opportunity to find out what you don’t know and ask some questions. This is your chance to educate them. Help them be able to identify the pain points and signals of people who are your ideal target market. When they are in contact with friends family and colleague who exhibit these struggles, they can gently say, “I have a friend who works with people just like you to help them move from <insert pain> to <insert results>. May I make an introduction for you?” Nobody is ‘outing’ themselves and people are getting the services and support that make a difference for them in a way everyone can feel good about.
Think like they think
You have to get inside the heads of your ideal clients. Please do not misunderstand. I am not proposing we manipulate or coerce. We are already trusting that the soil is fertile and theses seeds we are planting can be nurtured to grow. We are here to serve Use language that is in alignment with how they think and how they make decisions to not only put them at ease during the decision making process, but to also build trust and rapport in letting them feel understood and honored. When we use words that are in alignment with their natural ways of thinking we build relationship. People will break contracts but they won’t break relationship. Get in a relationship.
Don’t sell the way you buy
It’s a trap! To my point above. You have to get into their natural way of buying. Too often we sell to others they way we like to buy. This can lead to a lot of people being left behind or out in the cold. If they make decisions in a way different from you, they will feel isolated and misunderstood if you sell to them in YOUR preferred way if it does not align with your own. To really serve we have to be flexible in our methods and always come from a place of serving in the highest and greatest good of the person we are in conversation with. How can we know how another person buys? Listen. Any sales conversation begins with a plain old conversation. Listen for what motivates them. Find their big ‘why’. Learn what they value and what is important to them. If you listen with purity of heart, they will lead you to how to best serve them.
Features vs Benefits
So often we talk features and fail to put enough attention on the results and benefits of working with us or engaging in our products or services. Features tell someone how something works or what it may do, but they fail to help someone understand the difference it will make to them or the end result of the experience. This is most importantly put in the context of ‘What is in it for me?’ They want to know ‘why’ they need what you are offering, ‘how’ it is going to change their life for the better, and why ‘now’. WHY. HOW. NOW.
If you naturally lean toward feature its ok to talk about them… AND you need to put in context of outcomes. Use this formula to convert features to benefits and results:
<Xxx feature> so that you can < insert benefit or results here>
Look at sales conversations as just what they are: a conversation. Be really present in the moment and listen for what they are looking for.
Strive to serve them not sell them and your authenticity and truth will stand out against the competition because you gave them the gift of connection and relationship. Seed the sale with these tips to warm them up and then give them the choice to learn more. If they reach out to take the conversation further then you know the soil is fertile. Water away!
If we can help, please reach out via your favorite social media channels or drop us a note below in comments.
If this message can help someone you know please share this post!
When gaining new business entrepreneurs love to talk about bottom lines and closing deals. This should all be language we use ‘internally’ of course, but it is often how we talk…and even think about it. I want to invite you to have a reframe. What if we look at the energy of ‘opening’ vs ‘closing’. Think about the words themselves. Opening is receiving and allowing. Closing is protecting and repelling. It can be a pervasive thought pattern in how we treat the process. What if we not only look at it as ‘opening relationships’ vs ‘closing deals’, but also actually change the thoughts and the language we use internally?
Can you feel the difference?
Opening relationships inherently dictates that we are in for the long haul of service. We are establishing connections that goes beyond the sale. It breeds trust and loyalty. People will break a contract, but they will not break a relationship. Give them reasons to choose and stay with you beyond price and experience.
Opening relationships also allows you to build an unpaid sales force of heart centered, ride or die fans through referrals. This is free advertising and comes with the highest rates of conversion. Referrals transfer their trust in you to those they refer, they share their already great experience and people come to the conversation ready to say yes. It’s a slam dunk.
So why do most businesses focus largely and sometimes exclusively on new business and closing deals?!
Instead of compensating for the churn and burning the greatest amount of your energy and attention on new acquisition what if you focus on relationship and instead of letting them stampede out the back door? Close the back door. Nurture them, love them up, compliment them, celebrate them and ask them to bring their tribe. Serving these people, keeping them and inviting them to bring their circle of influence is infinitely easier than getting a yes from a cold lead.
Sounds pretty great to me!
Ask yourself why your current clients wouldn’t refer to you and then make sure you solve those problems. Ask them for their trust through referral and then give them the verbiage to make it easy to talk to thier people.
Open relationships…stop closing deals
Do you need help closing the back door? Drop us a note here or reach out via your Facebook and we are happy to offer support. Together, let’s serve more people!
Every year about this time I create space to spend time to review the year that almost was and plan the one yet to come. I begin with how I want to feel as I move throughout the year. I am a big fan of the Desire Map process (Danielle Laporte). Choose the feeling words for how you want to feel and then engineer goals from there. Each year I look at last years words and evaluate how I did at feeling that way and choose how I want to feel followed by goals that are in alignment with attracting those feelings.
Last year, truth be told, I didn’t do so great at staying in line with my desired feelings and got a little wrapped up in the tactical and the needs of others. It is always good to look back at what worked, what didn’t, and what you would do if you had a do over. This helps create a path to integrate the learning and create new standards for how you operate.
If you just take the learning without creating a path to applying it you don’t gain true wisdom from the experience.
In looking at what didn’t work this year. I gave a way a lot of time to things that did not move me closer to goals or me desired feelings. I spread myself across more projects and contract clients than I should have when I could have done less better. As ‘The Balance Maven’ my own personal balance experience is important to me. Truth be told, you cannot authentically lead someone to a place you have never been so I am always pushing the envelope on my own boundaries. It makes me better and that experience gets passed on to my clients.
In the coming year I plan to get back to focusing on how I want to feel, serving in ways that have a greater impact on others and that fill me up vs drain me out.
How do you want to feel in the coming year?
Where do you want to go in your life and business?
Last week I met with my business mastermind, who also happen to have become my dearest friends, to think bigger and then create the strategy that delivers on those very endeavors. Bigger visibility my way, my voice, my ‘Soapbox’. Wholeheartedly authentically without apology. MORE REAL and doing it all in less time than I was doing it before so I can have more space to meet the growing needs of my family.
It is amazing to do this planning with people who have a sharp business acumen, big and fiercely loving hearts, with no bullshi, real talk, and a crap ton of fun. You have to take a hard objective look at the year and all its successes and failures. You have to do it with people who will see you bigger than you see yourself and help you reverse engineer the plan that will take you there step by step. Having the knowledge of what you will achieve is one thing…a solid application of that knowledge is entirely another, and the most important part. Having accountability from a mentor or tribe is the secret sauce to reaching your destination. I feel like my crew would piggy back me if necessary. There is no better feeling than having people that you can count on thick and thin, good times and bad rain or shine.
Who are your people?
How will you plan next year?
Start with who you look up to. Who has things to say that resonate with you?
If you need help please comment below drop us a message or find us on Facebook Messenger!
Welcome back to ‘The Soapbox’! Anyone feel that the 4th quarter doldrums can be a hard time to meet your financial goals?
There are a lot of ‘reasons’ why people may decline or delay engaging in services that will make a meaningful difference in their business or life at the end of the year. Often they lead with the ‘money’ reason. Sometimes it’s the ‘time’ challenge due to holiday chaos, and other times it is what I like to call the ‘Scarlett O’Hara’…”I’ll think of it tomorrow, After all, tomorrow is another day!” (Everyone has seen Gone With The Wind right!?!?!?) They are just trying to ‘get through’ the end of the year and tell themselves they will make these kind of ‘growth’ decisions and investments after 1st of year.
Some business owners have had some experiences that makes them believe there is something different about the 4th quarter. It is so easy to tell a story that because ‘xyz’ (insert holiday spending, pending tax bills, low customer engagement etc) the 4th quarter is always slow. It can become habit each passing year to not invite as many people to the conversation as, “They aren’t going to say yes during this time of year anyway.” I invite you to consider this may not be real and it is a construct or story that you or your industry have bought into.
It can be hard to find the pain point that ideal clients and customers want to avoid enough to get them to move forward for their highest and greatest good…even in the face of a story. If we are to serve, we have to be careful not to buy into their story or ‘reasons’ that may really be excuses that they aren’t even aware of. We have to hold their greatest potential at the forefront and help them get out of their stories.
How do we do that you ask? It is a blend of mindset and strategy.
We have to help them find greater benefit and value in taking action than staying where they are. You have to show your leads and prospects WHY taking action now is in their best interest. However, before that, YOU have to ask yourself what stories YOU might be telling about THEM and why they are not buying. You cannot come to the table with limiting beliefs or your own head trash. You cannot diagnose their pocket book. Your mind and heart have to be open and clear. YOU have to believe at your core in any of the solutions that you are going to propose to them. You have to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that them taking action with you NOW, not later is in their best interest and lead them through their excuses toward action on their behalf.
PLEASE NOTE: This is not a BS game of manipulation. Super powers are only meant to be used for good.
You have to know that helping them navigate their fear and ‘reasons’ is truly in their best interest. To them the reasons feel real. They do not feel like excuses. They do not see how they are holding them back. It is a delicate dance to awareness with them.
Let’s walk through a few of the most common objections that we find in the 4th quarter.
“I don’t have the money.” There are many reasons for this expression. Your prospective customer and clients may not have had a fruitful first three quarters, work may be seasonal, they may be falling prey to the same ‘reasons’ from their own clients, living in fear and anticipation of a large tax bill they need to conserve for, holiday spending/travel etc…..the list goes on. How can engaging with you or your organization increase cash flow and ease the burden of these reasons? The money roadblock is simply a value proposition. People find money for the things they value. Not having money is often a case of “I don’t yet see value or why I should prioritize that’.
“I don’t have time with all of the end of year activities and holiday plans.” What do you offer that allows them to get time back in their day and be more strategic or efficient? How will delays in action delay their results? Can the deliciousness of those results create a large enough impact to tempt them away from the desire to delay. Can you show them the juice is worth the squeeze? This roadblock is a direct result of no sense of urgency. What you offer has to be so tantalizing that it draws such a gap between where they are and where they want to be that it makes where they want to be more irresistible than the comfort of staying still.
“Just need to get through the end of the year” (signs that they feel to stressed to make any decisions).
What will working with you bring to their world that alleviates stress, reduces overwhelm and gains clarity. What can you help them do now that makes an impact before end of year, but just as, if not more, importantly set them up for a great start at the beginning of the year. Too often people wait until beginning of year to take massive action and create change. Ahem….New Year’s Resolutions anyone? As a result they may not see the fruits of their labor until closer to end of the 1st quarter. Taking action in the 4th quarter ensures that they begin the year with these results vs waiting for them. They need to know this is not going to add to their burden, but alleviate it.
YOU have the power to improve your 4th quarter conversations and sales no matter what your previous history dictates, no matter what your industry has previously claimed, no matter what any of your peers say or the stories that have been told in the past. The past is the past and has already happened. The 4th quarter, however is here and now and you CAN have different experiences or results than what you have previously known. You can tell a new story and help your prospective clients and customers do the same so you ALL have a banging end to the year and set next year up to be the best year ever!
If you would like help with a specific objection and need verbiage or help through the mindset and stories you tell that are keeping you from reaching YOUR year end goals, comment below or reach out on Facebook via messenger! We love to hear from you and give you some tips or hacks to ease the struggle. If you don’t struggle in quarter 4 and it’s your best ever we want to hear your success stories too! Tell us all your secrets!
We have all heard it…”You are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
I personally believe there to be a lot of truth in it. I recently spent a lot of time thinking about this over a weekend as I was at the family farm.
It all began with dropping my kid at the airport to go on a medical internship to Poland. I’ll write another post on all the shit that goes through your mind sending an inexperienced flyer and your first born to another country for two weeks and what you learn around that at a later date. In the meantime, read on.
It was harvest, so I took a little detour to the family farm vs going back home. It is rare that I hit harvest when I am free and while there is still cutting to be done. I hadn’t done so in more years than I can count…probably since before I had kids to be honest (EEK). It was always my favorite time of year: meals in the field, playing in the wheat, getting suckers at the grain elevator. This year there were a lot of breakdowns so we weren’t cutting wheat when I got there.
I don’t have the skills to ‘fix your grill’ let alone a combine, so I spent the day shadowing an old pal in his work.
It was a lot of driving, talking, checking cows and water, talking, opening gates, talking. You get the idea. I just rode along, looking pretty and being entertained. It was pretty great, and yet (like always) my brain was processing the whole experience from beyond just being present in the moment(s).
What I learned was:
There are people who get you.
There are people who love to just have a back and forth exchange and don’t lose interest in 5 minutes.
They truly care about your thoughts.
They enjoy meaningful conversation …not just small minded small talk about people.
They aren’t afraid to challenge thoughts and feelings and make you look deeper without some hidden agenda of making you see things their way, but rather just plain curiosity.
They make you laugh.
They know when to shut up.
They can handle silence without needing to fill every single space.
They hear your story without judgment and with compassion..even the really shitty parts and just hold space, no need to offer comment or solution, just bearing witness.
They feel like ‘home’.
There are no replacements for people you have known for what seems like forever and yet sometimes if, in business or the driven high achiever world, we are always asked to evaluate these relationships and be on the constant upgrade. We are asked to measure them, quantify them, and always choose better people or risk being left behind in your success or greatest potential.
Danielle Laporte suggests that:
“There’s a shadow to the “5 people rule”. it can make us transactional… strands of usery can find their way into the connection, tinges of envious cloying. And in that dynamic, real love will struggle to grow.”
I find there to be immense truth in this. I always to strive to be a person people feel enriches and adds value to the lives of those around me. But the reality is, sometimes my shit stinks and I’m not ‘worthy’. I am not the best version of myself and could be categorized as a person that isn’t elevating my peers to be their highest and greatest self just by being in my presence. Sometimes life is sledgehammer fucking hard for a whole season, not just a passing minute. How would it feel if I got marked off the list or left behind because of it?
She is right, it can be transactional if we aren’t careful.
There have been seasons of my life that I was in hiding because things were just hard and it felt too peopley out there. The risk of judgment was high (as if you weren’t already in judgment of yourself). There were always a few (that felt like many) people that couldn’t handle it WITH me. They just didn’t know why I couldn’t ‘just reach for the better feeling thought’, or ‘change my story’, or all the other self help and spiritual stuff that we sometimes get (and give) in crisis. Don’t get me wrong, I love that shit like it’s my single only job, and sometimes its simply not enough. I felt unfit for public consumption. I felt afraid that if I shared my deepest truths I would be further judged or worse….categorized as one of those people that is ‘dragging you down’ and kicked off the ‘the list’. So I hid during times when I needed my tribe the most.
We simply have to respect theseasons. It’s not going to be juicy and delicious all of the time, smelling like roses, glowing like moonbeams and rainbows with unicorns and sparkles everywhere you go.
Sometimes its dark and twisty and your mindset suffers and life and business feel like a giant black hole sucking the life out of you. You need your tribe more than ever to pull you out.
THAT is when you truly know if you are surrounded by the right people. Do they love you through the tough times? Do they see your light even when you can’t? Do they lovingly kick your ass when that’s what you most need without apology for holding you to your highest code of conduct? Can they offer you a soft place to land and bear witness to the struggle with deep faith and trust that when it’s their turn you will do the same for them?
THOSE are your people.
Who are YOUR people?
I am so blessed to have friends and colleagues old and new. The old ones keep me around no matter what and stand by in the brightest of lights and the darkest of twists. The new see the potential and hold me steadfast to the goals and challenge me to think bigger (thanks BAMF).
Find your people. BE the people you want to surround yourself with…and hold a heart of compassion for the rough spots with grace not just with others but for yourself too.