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Some one called me a feminist last night...this is my respsonse - YouTube
Important to note that my message is about our current culture and the uncomfortable conversations that we all have to have. This is the only way that change will occur.  Most of  the wonderful men in our society are feminists without even realising.  Feminism means equality for all; where power, privledge, safety, education, opportunity and  society conversation etc  are not male focused.  Most Dad's of girls I know want this for their girls. Feminism is not a dirty word. Listen carefully to my words I'm not bagging ALL men I'm just asking us to flip the conversation. 

Another example is: I was talking to some new parents recently about the Mum going back to work and the Dad verbalising the difficulties with access to maternity leave and child care for working Mum's/Families and how other countries  manage this so much better than us, and he said to me "What are you (Women/Mum's) going to do about it, you can't just let the government make it so difficult"  I said what can I do?... I wish I had said what are you going to do about it?
Practical suggestions for sexist comments
The following is from The Line:

"...Every time someone makes a sexist comment or discriminates on the basis of gender, it becomes more acceptable, lessens people's respect for women, and erodes women's self-worth. Comments about how "Girls can't think 'logically' because they're too emotional...", "She's so ugly I don't know why anyone's even listening to her!" or "Wearing a skirt that short she was definitely asking for it..." end up leading to a society where women are 'worth' less, have less power, are less safe and are considered second-class citizens..."
So, here are some practical suggestions and examples of ways to take positive action:
1) Address the comment, not the person
  • "Nobody likes hearing that..."
  • "That's pretty offensive if you think about it..."
2) Ask a question that makes them rethink their statement
  • "How do you think that makes them feel?"
  • "I don't get it - what does that mean...?"
3) Use a "we statement" to gain support from people around you
  • "Yeah, I'm not sure we'd all agree with you there..."
  • "Is it just me or does everyone here think that's out of line?"
4) Take non-verbal action
  • If you really don't feel comfortable speaking up sometimes you can just give 'a look' to make it clear you thought the comment was lame. Don't laugh - just sigh, shake your head, or walk away.
5) Make the connection between the comment and the person's own experience
  • "So, would you say that about your girlfriend/sister/mother?"
  • "How do you reckon your girlfriend/sister/mother feels when people say stuff like that?"
https://www.theline.org.au/how-to-guide-to-stepping-up-against-sexist-behaviour
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Most young people (and indeed many adults) don't know the important difference between a Vulva and a Vagina, read more here:
Blog: Does your teen know what a vulva is?
​Blog: Vulvas are important  especially in regard to pleasure
On line course: How to have conversations about Sex and Sexuality-a guide for parents
So What is a Vulva Anyway New Booklet by Brooks UK Charity:
https://www.brook.org.uk/data/So_what_is_a_vulva_anyway_final_booklet.pdf
Watch the video below to hear what 10 and 11 year olds think about learning accurate body part names:
Calling a Scrotum a Penis would be ridiculous so why do we call a Vulva a Vagina? - YouTube
Fantastic resource with accurate diagrams:
​http://www.labialibrary.org.au/
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International Women's Day aims to execelerate gender equality.  Sexuality information and education has a-lot of catching up to do in this area. 
​We fail in equality when we teach masturbation and wet dreams for boys (pleasurable) versus mensuration for girls (taboo and dirty), we also incorrectly name body parts. 

In this video I give examples of why it is so important to name the vulva and not call it a vagina - which is an internal structure you can't see it on the outside. 
More links at the bottom of this post.
Calling a Scrotum a Penis would be ridiculous so why do we call a Vulva a Vagina? - YouTube
Today I learned about Puberty, it was disgusting bit it teached me a lot of things you need to know.
How to have conversations about Sex and Sexuality with Children Ages 2 - 12
Free Resources
Sexuality Education in your school
Porn the new Sexuality Educator
What is Childhood Sexuality 
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Children are receiving  Human Sexuality messages all the time.
In the absence of ongoing  conversations at home and/or good education at school they learn from their surroundings; i.e. media, advertising, popular music. 
These versions are fake and misleading. They generally do not represent fulfilling,
pleasurable, respectful, connected, consensual, partnerships. 

Take this image above, for example,  I see one person dominating the other.
Using power over them, forcefully coercing them, I have outlined this in the video below. 
What do you see? Do you think that we are so used to these messages that we see this as a normal way to treat our Valentine?
In my online guide for parents How to have conversations about Sex and Sexuality with your children I give parents essential tips for providing their children with the knowledge they need to have a future of satisfying, fulfilling connected relationships.  Society's current version of what it is to 'Being  A Sexual Being' - just does not cut it. ​
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"Puberty changes in my child caught me be surprise"
I'ts alarming how often I hear this from parents. 
Here is a tip -  just like paying taxes, a sure thing in life,  puberty is also a certainty. 
Make sure you are prepared for it so that you can support your child. 
Research shows that children who have accurate, comprehensive human sexuality education from a young age have better outcomes for their sexuality journey through life.  When they have good knowledge they:
  • accept the changes that are happening to their body
  • they feel good about their bodies
  • they make better decisions regarding relationships later on
  • they can manage the changes that take place
  • they understand changing from a child to an adolescent to an adult
  • they understand human reproduction
  • they don't feel shame or guilt about their normal thoughts and experiences
Puberty occurs:
Age 8 - 18:
​Girls Approx 8-14, Boys Approx 9-14
​Everyobody is different
Puberty Education at home
Parents and carers need to be the main sexuality educators for their children.  The problem is, many parents have not had adequate Sexuality Education themselves. 
Make sure you  have done some reading and research as this helps with your confidence in having these ongoing an important conversations. 
I highly recommend these new Puberty guide books for parents, written by an Australian Author, Cath Hakanson, who is a Sexual Health professional with many years of experience.
The books are comprehensive, easy to read and I believe, are an essential component of  every parents 'tool box'.
Click here for book list for children.
Puberty Education in Schools
Thankfully it is compulsory (in most states of Australia) for schools to provide age appropriate,  Human Sexuality education.  Obviously parents are free, to opt out  and remove their children from these lessons if they wish to. 
In my experience, parents RARELY remove their children. Most parents understand the immense importance of Human Sexuality education for their children. 

For example, the most recent  school I was involved in, with over 500 students receiving sexuality education from Prep to Year 6,  NOT ONE, parent removed or opted their child out of the education.   
This is because of a transparent whole  school approach of letting parents know what will be taught and when it will be taught. Providing parent and teacher Sexuality education to the school community is also a  beneficial aspect of children's learning and support.  Probably the most important outcome of sexuality education is protecting children from abuse.
Examples of Puberty Education in schools
Pictures below are of a class group activity lesson plan for 10 -12 year olds.
Cards Can Be Found On Pg 144 Of This Document:
Catching on early: Teaching and learning activities Sexuality Education Victorian Primary Schools.

In the activity below, the card we discuss the most is:  'bigger muscles' in males, we talk about how muscle size is not the only measure of strength:
(i.e. intelligence, resilience, personality, determination, skill)
and that just because someone has bigger muscles does that mean they have power over another person? A great teachable moment for respectful relationships and equality. 
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Finally,  the new Cervical Cancer Screening Program has been launched today - see your GP for details of how it effects you.
Over a decade ago, I remember working on research for this 'new test' and training doctors and nurses about it for the future, now it is finally here. 
The good news  - women will have fewer pap tests in their life time!  Yay!!!

More information about pap tests here.

The Sexually Transmitted Infection that causes genital warts and associated cervical changes  (Human Papilloma Virus  or HPV) is part of  sex because it so easily transmits by genital to genital contact (rubbing i.e. during penis/ vagina intercourse) usually without partners being aware that it happens.  Condoms only partially protect, because of the skin to skin contact risk.
That is why  up to 80 per cent of adults will be infected at some point in their lives.
"It is thought that the majority of sexually active individuals will be exposed to HPV infections during their lifetime. Most HPV infections will clear spontaneously."
Melbourne Sexual Health Centre Fact Sheets
Thats right -  if you have ever had genital to genital contact with another person; you are likely to have had HPV in your life time, usually without symptoms. 
However some people experience visible warts, some get changes associated with pre cancerous cervix changes  and some people experience cervical and other cancers related to the HPV infection.
This is the Sexually Transmissible Infection often referred to as the 'common cold' of sex, it is part of having sex, as it is so difficult to avoid. 

It is one of the reasons that Sexuality Education aims to empower young people to make decisions that will lead them to avoid genital to genital sexual experiences.  
Teens need to know about it so they can avoid it. 

In countries where teens get comprehensive sexuality information (such as STI prevention) - research shows they delay sexual intercourse to a later age. 

Parent sessions
Tips for Sexuality Conversations with young people
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Consent is not enough - teach you children 'Enthusiastic Consent'.  So this means that everyone who is involved in the activity  are doing so freely and willingly and their experience is positive and enjoyable.
What Is Consent? - Talking The Talk Sex & Health Education - YouTube
Consent checklists for young people
Click on the images or go to www.scarleteen for these resource lists
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A great message to remind us to approach Sexuality with a positive attitude, it's about pleasure, joy & responsibility and respect.

Human Sexuality is not about fear, danger or discrimination.
Human Sexuality is about being Human. 
There is no 'normal' but there are infinite amounts of normal variations.
Human Sexuality encompasses basic Human Rights.
Human Sexuality requires comprehensive and accurate education.

The World Health Organisation Recommendations - Key conceptual elements of sexual health (2005):
When viewed holistically and positively:
-Sexual health is about well-being, not merely the absence of disease.
-Sexual health involves respect, safety and freedom from discrimination and violence
-Sexual health depends on the fulfilment of certain human rights.
-Sexual health is relevant throughout the individual’s lifespan, not only to those in the reproductive years, but also to both the young and the elderly.
-Sexual health is expressed through diverse sexualities and forms of sexual expression.
-Sexual health is critically influenced by gender norms, roles, expectations and power dynamics.
-Sexual health needs to be understood within specific social, economic and political contexts.
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http://www.kidspot.com.au/
https://gdhr.wa.gov.au/guides/teaching-sre
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This  blog is to clarify inaccuracies regarding a video I  posted recently via Vimeo as a response to a recent Anti Safe Schools video by Political Posting Mumma (PPM) which went viral. I wrongly assumed the broader community  would do their research and find out for themselves about the false and ridiculous inaccuracies in the  video by  Political Posting Mumma (PPM).  My lack of specifics left my video open to misinterpretation and creation of more lies by the group that PPM appear to be affiliated with. 
Clarification of false information by Political Posting Mumma (PPM)video and affiliated website comments :
  • ​I’m Vanessa Hamilton I am the owner and founder of  Talking the Talk Sex and Health Education
  • I do not represent and never have  been a part of Safe Schools
  • Safe Schools is an anti-bullying program
  • Talking the Talk is a Sexuality Education Service. A business Teaching Sexuality education and Child Safe Standards to parents, teachers, Health Professionals and students
  • The resources offered in the video were my own personal business resource links I have created  - nothing to do with Safe Schools. People normally need to subscribe to my site to get the password to access them   - common online business practice

Safe Schools is an anti-bullying program, it's not a part of the Victorian Curriculum:
Compulsory  Sexuality Education  is always taught with parental knowledge:
  • The most effective sexuality education programs also take a whole-school learning approach
  • Parents receive notification from schools about when, and what their children will be taught and can opt out
  • I have seen this in 100% of schools I have worked with
  • PPM claimed that education was slotted without parents knowing this is not that case in my experience
  • In Victoria (as well as NSW and SA) it is compulsory for government schools to provide sexuality education within the Health and Physical Education domain, including assessment and reporting against the Victorian Essential Learning Standards. Parents can opt out at any time.                                            http://victoriancurriculum.vcaa.vic.edu.au/  
  • This means that content is taught at age appropriate levels
  • Read more about Sexuality education in Victoria here: http://www.education.vic.gov.au/school/parents/health/Pages/sexuality.asp

Students ARE NOT taught the content that PPM claimed in her video.
  • Parents can always  see examples of what is taught is here:
    • Teaching and learning activities Sexuality Education Victorian Primary Schools: Catching on early
    • Teaching and learning activities Sexuality Education Victorian Secondary Schools: Catching on later

Electric toothbrushes and razors:
It would be absurd to believe that an educator or  teacher would teach how to use or do this.  This  is described in a world wide, award winning youth  sexuality education website. Read about it in my blog here:
http://www.talkingthetalksexed.com.au/blog/sexuality-education-sex-toys

Masturbation:
  • It would be absurd to believe that an educator  or teacher  would teach students how to masturbate
  • I showed  4 of an activity  set of 42 Puberty cards.  The cards I showed pointed out normal human physiological sexual function which  occurs at around puberty: Penis erections, wet dreams, clitoris erections, vaginal wetness.  This is not teaching someone how to masturbate.
  • The other card examples: feel hungrier, grow taller, grow hair, stronger feelings, acne, etc...
  • See more about the activity here:
http://www.talkingthetalksexed.com.au/blog/puberty-the-exciting-changes-you-need-to-start-talking-about-by-age-8-and-beyond
 
Vulva puppet:
  • I only use the vulva puppet from  Yr 9 upwards,  as an interesting way to explain female anatomy.  I wrongly assumed  this would be obvious.  
  • Older students react positively to being informed about  their accurate anatomy.
  • Recently 250 Yr 11 students could not name the vulva during sexuality education. Read why I accessed a vulva puppet for learning here:           http://www.talkingthetalksexed.com.au/blog/-does-your-teen-know-what-a-vagina-is


Some other current False information on the Website affiliated with PPM:

False:
  • "...The classroom content is so explicit, even VIMEO placed a warning on her video explaining that it ‘contains mature, or explicit, or sexually suggestive content. It may not be appropriate for all viewers..."
Fact:
  • I  put the 'Mature' rating on my own Vimeo video. I'm in the business of protecting children, so I always put Mature on my parent education videos, in order to protect children.
  • The person affiliated wiht PPM who has uploaded my video to You Tube has not put age restrictions on the video  so is exposing children to the content of the video as well as the abhorrent comments based on incorrect information.
​False:
  • “ ...In her response video, Vanessa has confirmed that masturbation is being taught to children as young as TEN, as part of regular sex education…”
Fact:  
  • I referred to 4 cards of an activity  set of 42 Puberty cards.  The cards I showed pointed out normal human physiological sexual function which  occurs at around puberty: Penis erections, wet dreams, clitoris erections, vaginal wetness.  This is not teaching someone how to masturbate. See Masturbation listed above for more details.
​More Here: Safe Schools Video Response
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