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(1) You. Three factors – who you are, what you want out of the divorce, and how eager you are to save or end your marriage – will impact how you show up and influence the divorce outcome.

(2) Your spouse. The same three factors – Who s/he is, what s/he wants out of the divorce, and how eager s/he is to save or end the marriage – will influence the divorce outcome. There are things you can do to encourage your spouse to do the right thing and make the divorce less painful for you both.

(3) Your attorney. His or her personality, motivations, experience, and how well s/he can work with your spouse’s attorney. You hired this attorney and s/he should be representing your best interests.

(4) Your spouse’s attorney. You have NO control over this person at all and at times it may seem that s/he lives just to make you miserable.

(5) The Judge. Again, you have no control here. And, you probably want to limit the amount of control any Judge will have on your daily interactions and finances unless you feel you need protection.

Using #A Friendly Divorce and #Southfloridamediationservices can help you significantly reduce the impact (4) and (5) will have on your life. Call me at 561-789-0710 and ask me how.

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When we experiences change in our life such as a divorce, we can control our response and reaction to the changes that are happening.  

Our role as masters of our own destinies is cemented when we choose to make change work in our favor. Yet before we can truly internalize this power, we must accept that we cannot hide from the changes taking place all around us. Existence as we know it will come to an end at one or more points in our lives, making way for some new and perhaps unexpected mode of being. This transformation will take place whether or not we want it to, and so it is up to us to decide whether we will open our eyes to the blessings hidden amidst disorder or close ourselves off from opportunities hiding behind obstacles.

To make change work for you, look constructively at your situation and ask yourself how you can benefit from the transformation that has taken place. As threatening as change can seem, it is often a sign that a new era of your life has begun. If you reevaluate your plans and goals in the days or weeks following divorce, you will discover that you can adapt your ambition to the circumstances before you and even capitalize on these changes.

Optimism, enthusiasm, and flexibility will aid you greatly here, as there is nothing to be gained by dwelling on what might have been. Change can hurt in the short term but, if you are willing to embrace it proactively, its lasting impact will nearly always be physically, spiritually, and intellectually transformative.

Divorce is difficult- emotionally and financially.  I am here to help you in your divorce or point you in the right direction.  Deborah Beylus 561789 0710 www.SouthFloridaMediationServices.com

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It is universally agreed that when possible, allowing parties to make their own decisions that impact their own financial outcome with the assistance of a mediator is much better than having a judge tell everybody what to do.  The mediation process, because it is a negotiation, gives the parties a chance to seek a win-win resolution or to come up with alternative resolutions that benefit everyone involved. Litigation, while necessary in certain cases, is indeed a win-lose proposition. In effect, there can only be one “winner” or “loser” in trial. Trial is an exercise of loss of control by the parties. A judge is making decisions for their future. Settlements reached in mediation tend to have a higher compliance rate, and ultimately have a higher perceived fairness by the parties involved as compared to a trial.

There are additional benefits of divorce mediation which include:

  • A feeling of self-control and freedom during the process.
  • An opportunity to emotionally “vent” in a safe place.
  • Openly discuss issues
  • A time and place to consider alternatives and successful win-win resolutions.
  • An opportunity to reduce trauma for children and show them that you and your spouse were able to engage in constructive conflict resolution.

Contact Deborah Beylus at South Florida Mediation Services for more information 561-789-0710.

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Each of the myriad decisions in divorce has the potential to have a deep impact on the lives of a divorcing party. Some choices touch to the very cores, awakening poignant feelings inside. Others seem at first to be simple but prove to be confusingly complex. Making the best decisions is best made from a balanced emotional and intellectual foundation so that both sides of an issue or alternative can be clearly seen. Likewise, accepting compromise is a natural fact of divorce and of life. Instead of relying solely on individual feelings or rationality, it can be very helpful to utilize a divorce coach to empower and come to life-affirming and balanced conclusions.

As your divorce professional, I am here to support you and offer hope and guidance. My deep understanding of both the emotional and the business side of divorce will help you feel confident and secure. And whether you initiated the divorce or not, it’s difficult either way. I am proud to announce that I have just become a Board Certified Coach ICF Coach. I will soon be offering divorce coaching services. Let’s begin today and partner together so that I can make this experience easier for you.

Call Deborah Beylus at South Florida Mediation Services at 561-789-0710 for more details.

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Marriage is more than a legal relationship. It is a union of finances as well. If you plan to divorce, untangling your finances is a large part of the battle. Divorce is one of the most financially traumatic things a couple can go through makes.

1. Make copies of all credit card statements, bank statements and three years of tax returns.

2. Identify all marital debts. Pull credit report to ensure that you are aware of all outstanding debt.

3. Value all assets, if possible. Remember, assets are ultimately worth what someone is willing to pay for them. And the only way to properly value assets is to appraise assets with a licensed Florida appraiser.

4. Open individual bank accounts and close joint accounts as soon as reasonably possible even if the household bills will continue to be paid jointly.

5. Contact the administrator of your retirement accounts. Identify the non-marital portions of these accounts and value the current value of all retirement assets, including pensions.

6. If possible, avoid large purchases and sales.

7. Contact your Human Resources department to assess the health insurance needs and costs.

8. Change beneficiaries on all accounts, including Powers of Attorney includes Health Care Powers of Attorney.

9. Avoid getting emotional attached to marital assets that should be sold or disposed of.

10. Create a divorce plan, including a divorce budget.

11. Create and follow a household budget and post judgment household budget.

12. Create a new retirement plan.

13. Make an Appointment with a CPA to Understand the Tax Implication of Settlement Options

14. Avoid Using your Attorney as a therapist. Hire a Divorce Coach if Necessary.

15. Decide to be happy!

Contact South Florida Mediation Services and Deborah Beylus, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst for assistance.  561-789-0710 http://www.southfloridamediationservices.com/certified-divorce-financial-analyst/

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It is universally agreed that when possible, allowing parties to make their own decisions that impact their own family with the assistance of a family mediator is much better than having a judge tell everybody what to do.

Without question, the greatest benefit to the divorce mediation process is that it gives the parties involved a chance to resolve their case by themselves, without submitting their case to a third party judge whom they barely know.

The divorce mediation process, because it is a negotiation, gives the parties a chance to seek a win-win resolution or to come up with alternative resolutions that benefit everyone involved. Litigation, while necessary in certain cases, is indeed a win-lose proposition. In effect, there can only be one “winner” or “loser” in trial. Trial is an exercise of loss of control by the parties. A judge is making decisions for their family’s future. Settlements reached in mediation tend to have a higher compliance rate, and ultimately have a higher perceived fairness by the parties involved as compared to a trial.

There are additional benefits of divorce mediation which include:

  • A feeling of self-control and freedom during the process.
  • An opportunity to emotionally “vent” in a safe place.
  • Openly discuss child time sharing
  • A time and place to consider alternatives and successful win-win resolutions.
  • An opportunity to reduce trauma for children and show them that you and your spouse were able to engage in constructive conflict resolution.

Mediation is not a perfect entity and does have some potential drawbacks. Some of the potential drawbacks include:

  • Legal rights and responsibilities can be pushed aside or ignored.
  • If there is a power imbalance between the parties and their respective attorneys, then an unfair agreement may be the result. This is especially true if one of the parties is proceeding pro se (without an attorney.)
  • Mediation does require two to tango. So if either party chooses not to fully participate, then the end result will be a failed mediation.
  • The opposing counsel may discover weaknesses in their case while at divorce mediation and have a chance to remedy the flaws before trial.

To see if mediation is appropriate for you, call Deborah Beylus at South Florida Mediation Services at 561-789-0710.

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In almost all divorce cases in Florida, an agreement that’s reached in mediation will be binding upon the parties. This is true even if the agreement is unfair and even if the agreement is grossly unfair.  Parties in mediation are required to have exchanged full and fair disclosure, complete  financial affidavits, and in some cases seek the advice of attorneys. Florida is a contract state. A contract that is fulfilled with full financial disclosure with or even without the advice and consent of attorneys is one that’s probably will not be set aside. This is true even if one of the parties does not speak English as a first language and the agreement is in English. There is a responsibility under Florida law for someone signing an agreement to only sign it if they can read and understand it.

At the onset of the divorce process is the financial disclosure process.  The more assets and liabilities involved, and the more unique the circumstances of the parties, the longer this process can take. Being proactive about the financial process from the very beginning will save time and stress and it also builds trust between the parties.

Prior to the execution of any settlement agreements in Florida, a financial affidavit must be completed and exchanged between the parties. That means that you cannot sign a final agreement in mediation if the parties have not provided one another with full financial disclosures and completed their financial affidavits.

Contact Deborah Beylus at South Florida Mediation Services if you are facing divorce or a post-divorce issue and wish to mediate.  561 789 0710.  www.southfloridamediationservices.com

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The purpose of divorce meditation is simply to attempt to broker an agreement with the divorcing couple regarding some, if not all, of the issues in a divorce. Mediation allows the divorce couples to resolve temporary and permanent issues. In the best cases, the parties enter divorce mediation and get a global settlement. That means all issues are permanently resolved.

When this happens in a mediation, the mediator with the help of their attorneys, if they are represented, will start boiling down the agreement. As Florida’s a contract state, if all the issues are resolved and signed off on by the parties, then in the majority of cases all that’s left to do is to take the agreement to the judge and have the judge sign off on everything and finalize the divorce.

Not only should most people with a contested or uncontested divorce cases try mediation, but also almost all counties in Florida will require the parties to try divorce mediation before coming in front of the judge to litigate their disputes.  In the Miami Dade, Broward and Palm Beach counties, all have standing orders requiring the parties to try divorce mediation before going in front of the judge and asking for help. There are some exceptions to this general rule. For example, cases of domestic violence may be best served to proceed right to the judge without going into mediation.   While some divorce cases can resolve themselves at any time among the lawyers or even among the parties, most settle in a divorce mediation settlement conference.

Contact Deborah Beylus at South Florida Mediation Services if you are facing divorce or a post-divorce issue and wish to mediate.  561 789 0710.  www.southfloridamediationservices.com

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Divorce mediation can happen over a series of meetings or in just one. Most of the time divorce mediation is starts with one meeting for four or eight hours, and if needed the parties agree to continue to another mediation at another date and time.

Mediation takes place with the parties with and without attorneys. In some cases, mediators prefer to start the mediation caucused. That means, they prefer to start with one party in one room, and the other party in the other room. In some cases it’ll be appropriate to bring everybody together; in other cases the husband-and-wife may not see each other during the mediation at all. Sometimes, it might be appropriate to bring the divorce lawyers together with the mediators to address issues.

  1. The mediator will introduce himself or herself to the client and the attorney. The mediator will explain what mediation is and how it’s different from other forms of dispute resolutions.
  1. The mediator will explain his or her role in the mediation process. Specifically, that the mediator is neutral and impartial and doesn’t take sides. The mediator can’t make decisions for the husband and wife, but hopefully can help the husband and wife make their own decisions. Finally, the divorce mediator is not a lawyer or a judge and cannot give the parties any legal advice or opinions. That’s a job for the lawyers.
  1. The mediator will explain the unique aspects of the divorce mediation process: that mediation is confidential, that it is informal unlike court, and that the parties are allowed to present their positions and interests. Also, if a party needs to speak to a family member or professional regarding any questions that arise, they can contact the appropriate people to get their answers.
  1. The mediator explains the ground rules of the process. For example, how is this going to go? How long are we going to be here? What are the arrangements concerning fees? Will this be in one session or multiple mediator sessions.
  1. The mediator gathers information on the parties and their issues. In many cases, the attorneys will submit written memorandums to the mediator in advance of the hearing.
  1. The mediator will identify the legal issues and develop an agenda for discussing and resolving them. Remember, most divorce cases have more than one legal issue to resolve. You must handle them one by one, and the mediator and the attorneys can decide which issues make sense to tackle first.
  1. The mediator will use his or her mediation and negotiation skills to help move the parties towards compromise.
  1. The mediator has helped the parties reach an agreement or at least an outline of one. The mediator will then go to both parties and see if this is exactly correct. If a deal is struck, then the mediator will begin drafting an agreement right away, usually with the help of the attorneys.
  1. Finally, if and when an agreement is signed, the mediator will file the agreement with the clerk of the court, prepare a mediator’s report letting the court know what happened, and give copies of the final agreement to the parties and their attorneys.

Contact Deborah Beylus at South Florida Mediation Services if you are facing divorce or a post-divorce issue and wish to mediate.  561 789 0710.  www.southfloridamediationservices.com

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