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When it comes to sex, most people like to think that they know it all, however guess what…we don’t!

Have you ever been part of a conversation when someone used a word or made a joke and you had no clue what they were talking about? We’ve all be there!

Let’s be real, it’s so easy to get confused with so many different words or terms for “stuff” and things constantly keep changing. It’s challenging to keep up with having to communicate online, texting and “sexting”!

Good news, there’s a new book out on the shelves called: “The Cleis Press Sextionary”! I read it and let me tell you, it’s a worthy addition to your library, especially if you’re out there in the dating world!

Sextionary is about getting you “up to DATE” with some sexual terms made simple for YOU. It’s a one stop shop defining all the words that have to do with sex, your body and the relationship world!

Cheryl: “Love includes sex…this is sex and the dictionary all rolled into one. So many people out there have a problem with the terminology of sex, their sexual life and it kind of works into our dating and relationship world…how did you decide to come up with this book?”

Timothy: “There was no dictionary for sex so we hired two researchers…researched all the terms and we put it all together…and we tried to make it as fun, in depth and as educational as possible.”

Cheryl: “Do you find in your own relationship world, all these acronyms and new words kind of get mixed up in translation when you’re communicating with people?”

Marianne: “I find texting with younger people very educational…I often have to google that, the urban dictionary is your friend and now I’m glad that we have another dictionary to look at…a lot of younger people are texting stuff, we have no idea what they are saying…I have dated younger people but I have a lot of young friends, some non sexual stuff, we have no idea what they’re saying…”

Many different terms are affecting communication in regards to our love life . Can we define some, never mind all of the ever changing lingo, acronyms and innuendo? I gathered a few people around the table from two different generations to see if they could decipher some of the code or catch phrases as defined in this revolutionary sexually driven dictionary .

Timothy: “Everything is always relevant when it comes to sex, for ex: what does easy mean… something as a simple text message saying she’s easy, the question is what does that question of easy mean and  over text message. It’s not that clear cause it can mean a different thing…with this book, it’s laid out clear, this is exactly what it means, so you don’t have to use google, you don’t have to use the urban dictionary, you can use the sextionary.”

It’s easy for words to get lost in translation in the dating world. Online communication is challenging to say the least, add to that all these terms that apply to our love/sexual life. There is nothing wrong with being clueless, all you have to do is ask, don’t be shy and never make assumptions. Dating should be fun and playful! If you come across a kinky term and find out its meaning, you may even be curious to explore!

Jason: “There’s a lot of terms that are coming now that people have no clue what they’re saying, so be honest, say I have no clue what that is and go on from there…For example as far as easy…the word has a negative connotation…like it might come quicker, the sex…that’s how I see it…”

Remember, words matter! In a recent survey done by Match.com, there are certain key words like “love” & “fun” that both genders are attracted to. This study also showed women are more likely to click onto profiles that include the word “caring” while men zone in on “easy”. While this may be hair raising for some lets hope the inference is more towards “easy-going” instead of ASSUMING  the derogatory counterpart.

Cheryl: “Men are attracted to the word easy…there’s other ways for saying that I’m easy or that I sleep around…”

Timothy: “Yeah, like I’m a whore, I like to get it on, for those who are married, I like to swing, there are a million sex terms for that…”

Cheryl: “How long did it take to write this book”?

Timothy: “About a year and a half…”

What better way to spice up a conversation while testing the need for a Sextionary than to ask my two guests if they could figure out some of the definitions, a version of an pseudo adult spelling bee.

Cheryl: “So imagine you’re out on a date and somebody says to you, so you ever think of going around the world?”

Marianne: “I’m gonna guess that around the world is all of the stuff and that’s probably more than the stuff that I’m aware of…if someone asked me that…I would asked them to bullet list it for me…when they bring me on a date, I wanna see the check boxes…”

Timothy: “The first one is a term for intercourse that utilizes several different sexual positions before completion; the other definition is the sexual act of kissing, licking or otherwise orally stimulating a partner’s entire body prior to giving oral sex…”

Cheryl: “The whole point of this is to realize that sometimes people can say things to you and they’re not saying what you think they’re saying…”

Cheryl: “BBW…What is that?”

Jason: “Big, beautiful, women”

Cheryl: “Cartwheel position?

Marianne: “I think it involves a hand stand and some penetration…am I close?

Timothy: “I’ll give you that one…”

This next one was a term that I believe everyone should know and safeguard themselves by asking the uncomfortable yet necessary questions when deciding to be intimate and always, always use protection.

Cheryl: “DDF… is Drug and disease free…and it’s commonly used on dating and sex finding apps and websites and personal listings…”

Timothy: “One of my favorites…Do you guys know what vominatrics?”

Jason: “I’m gonna take a wild guess…when people like to be vomited on…”

Cheryl: “What about Devil’s threesome?

Marianne: “That’s when your wife and your mistress find out that they’re having a threesome at the same time…”

Jason:  “If you have a threesome with your wife or your ex-wife!”

Timothy: “I’m gonna give it to Marianne…”

If we refer to the actual  definition of The Devils threesome according to Sextionary this triangle is comprised of  two men and one woman. I wonder if it gets its title from some woman long ago declaring the “DEVIL MADE ME DO IT!”

These are just a few examples what you can learn from this all-inclusive educational yet entertaining 240 pages dictionary about sex. The intention is that you understand the true definition of any sexual act, term  or intimate situation you may encounter or participate in. Now, what you don’t know is at your fingertips, just  look it up! Its as easy as…ABC!

There are many things that you can do to keep your sex life flowing and on track. Your sexual well-being goes hand in hand with your overall mental, physical, and emotional health

Even in the best relationship, sex can become “dull” after a number of years. With a little bit of imagination, you can rekindle the spark. Exploring different sexual positions not only adds interest to lovemaking, but can also help weather some problems. Why not try? Experiment with new positions and activities. Try sex toys and sexy lingerie if you’ve never tried before.

Maybe you’ve never thought of having sex in a secluded spot or in different positions; now might be the time to explore your options. Just the feeling of naughtiness can add spice to your love life!

The most important tool you have at your disposal is your attitude about sexuality. Armed with good information, communication and a positive outlook, the world is your OYSTER (pun intended) and we all know what that means…a healthy happy sex life for many years to come.

If you need any dating advice or my support in your love life, please do not hesitate to reach out to me 1-844-744-SOLO (7656). When it comes to LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS I am always here to keep you “up to date” .

Cheryl xo

 

 

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I recently interviewed Korine Hazan; author of a book called “Stop Love is no poker game”. This book sums up different life stories, antidotes about love and relationships, each chapter ending with a synopsis.

It’s meant to be read fast without necessarily having to follow the sequencing as each story will resonate differently to each reader. I related to parts of it and I bet so will you!

Cheryl: “This book is based on your life experiences, things that have happened, things that you have witnessed happening in relationships and wanted to give people little bites that they could savor and learn from and move forward with…”

Korine:  “We all find our self somewhere in the book…try to have some kind of an awakening…why we are that way? What could we do? How could we have better relationships? It’s the base…that’s where everything starts…”

Cheryl: “People think because somebody loves them, we should love them back…we could say certain things that can make the connection better, if we know what we want in relationships, if we know our standards, if we know our boundaries and we put it out there for the other person, to allow them the opportunity to respond to our needs…”

Communication is the most important element in building the foundation for a successful relationship. You have to ask questions and avoid making assumptions. You have to know your lifestyle, values and goals and be able to communicate with the person that you’re with or getting to know. The way we express ourselves, our needs to the other person makes a huge difference in the quality of our connection, allowing space for a more balanced true and deepened love for one another.

Cheryl: “In the coaching world, one of the things that I stand behind…there are three elements to our behavior, in regards to somebody else and that’s rejection, acceptance and tolerance…you can reject what the other person is doing…meaning that doesn’t work for me…you can also accept certain things that are not going to be the way you want but you accept that because you love the person… but tolerance, when you tolerate something it’s the beginning of the end…and that’s being silent that’s thinking things and not putting it out there to either accept or reject…”

Korine: “We don’t say, we don’t speak…he loves us ok well maybe I should love him back…we are all responsible for the outcome of our action or non action…”

One of the most important relationships is the one we have with ourselves. We have to love our self first, own and accept who we are as individuals and know what we need (not want) before getting into a relationship. The result of discovering true self is that all relationships whether community, friends, family, work or with your beloved will be happier and healthier and for the long term.

Korinne: “Why do we have to apologize for who we are, what we need, what we want…it’s not fair to ourselves or to the other person to keep quiet…You are allowed to be who you are and that’s honoring yourself but honoring the other person at the same time…”

Cheryl: “Nobody can know what you want unless you tell them what you want…”

Love and relationships are not black and white, perfect lives and people don’t exist. We are ALL different beings and in charge of our own life and happiness. You can create a happy life based on positive influences and the people that you choose to surround yourself with. Life can be challenging so it all comes straight down to your attitude and your mindset.

Cheryl: “We can teach that intention to ourselves…lot of people say Cheryl, you always seem happy… no I’m always positive… everybody has bad days, everybody has hard issues…”

Korine: “I know a young man that has had a life that he planned because somebody taught him to have that intention…”

Cheryl: “We didn’t grow up with all these dating apps and social media… it’s proven to be a huge challenge…”

Technology has changed our lives and relationship world in major ways. With social media, there’s that pressure for people to think or feel that life has to be great, that things have to look beautiful and that other people’s lives are happier than ours.

We all know that’s NON SENSE! Life is NOT blue sunny skies each day. What we see is often that “picture perfect life” that we crave at times. So if you’re not feeling your best each day, don’t worry we all have crappy days, months and all that matters is your attitude in dealing with YOUR life the best way that you can. Don’t get side tracked by what you see on social media. Focus on your own path and keep investing in yourself and in those that invest in you.

Cheryl: “Do you think that times have changed since your mom was your age, when it comes to an actual part of a relationship?”

Mikayla: “Definitely because social media is a big factor in people’s lives in my generation…meeting people my age it’s through Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat…”

Cheryl: “The way you’re meeting people is different, but also the way you’re communicating is different that is what is stopping a lot of younger people from finding a relationship…because you don’t know how to communicate with each other…”

Mikayla: “I was in a relationship, we were together for 2 and half years…I knew what I wanted ….I’m more of a person that wants something serious …the guys in my generation are not ready for long term things, I don’t wanna waste my time, so I’d rather work on myself and focus on loving myself, I don’t wanna depend on a guy…”

People want to be in love; that hasn’t changed but times have changed and technology has made things challenging as we live in a fast paced “dating world” with all the online apps at our finger tips.

Everything is a click away. Communication is tough through online exchanges and texting. It’s so easy to misunderstand and most people don’t know how to communicate anymore. That’s one of the biggest road blocks nowadays. How do you get your point across? How do you go about dating successfully in today’s modern world when looking for a serious relationship?

Cheryl: “Do you wish you could turn back the clock? Be dating now and the way technology is now and all the things that influence our dating world?”

Korine: “I would position myself differently …the way it was when I was a young woman is very different to the way it is today for young women…same thing for men…they have access to things that we didn’t…”

Cheryl: “Would you sometimes wish you wouldn’t have all the technology at your fingertips?

Mikayla: “I think it makes things easier…Meeting people…it allows us to feel connected but we’re really disconnected because when we’re together, we’re all on our phones…”

Dating behaviors differ drastically between the ages and generations. Younger singles are more prone to friend their date on Facebook, Instagram or any social media platform they’re on. They communicate by text after a date and are more evasive about their availability if they’re not interested in a second date. The more mature singles are more cautious when it comes to dating in the digital era and reserved on how much they put out there.

No matter what, we all have to adjust to these changes and the most important thing to learn and master is how to communicate and nurture our relationships.

If you’re already in a relationship, continue “dating” your partner forever to keep things fresh in every aspect to continue growing together. If you’re single, make sure you know your worth, your lifestyle, values and goals before getting involved. Make a small list of the top three most important standards/boundaries that you can’t compromise on. Put your best self out there, be positive and go out there and enjoy life which includes making dating fun, not a chore! Take risks and keep your mind and heart open.

If you need any dating advice or my support in your love life, please do not hesitate to reach out to me 1-844-744-SOLO (7656). I promise to keep you “up to date”.

Cheryl xo

 

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When it comes to sex, most people like to think that they know it all, however guess what…we don’t!

Have you ever been part of a conversation when someone used a word or made a joke and you had no clue what they were talking about? We’ve all be there!

Let’s be real, it’s so easy to get confused with so many different words or terms for “stuff” and things constantly keep changing. It’s challenging to keep up with having to communicate online, texting and “sexting”!

Good news, there’s a new book out on the shelves called: “The Cleis Press Sextionary”! I read it and let me tell you, it’s a worthy addition to your library, especially if you’re out there in the dating world!

Sextionary is about getting you “up to DATE” with some sexual terms made simple for YOU. It’s a one stop shop defining all the words that have to do with sex, your body and the relationship world!

Cheryl: “Love includes sex…this is sex and the dictionary all rolled into one. So many people out there have a problem with the terminology of sex, their sexual life and it kind of works into our dating and relationship world…how did you decide to come up with this book?”

Timothy: “There was no dictionary for sex so we hired two researchers…researched all the terms and we put it all together…and we tried to make it as fun, in depth and as educational as possible.”

Cheryl: “Do you find in your own relationship world, all these acronyms and new words kind of get mixed up in translation when you’re communicating with people?”

Marianne: “I find texting with younger people very educational…I often have to google that, the urban dictionary is your friend and now I’m glad that we have another dictionary to look at…a lot of younger people are texting stuff, we have no idea what they are saying…I have dated younger people but I have a lot of young friends, some non sexual stuff, we have no idea what they’re saying…”

Many different terms are affecting communication in regards to our love life . Can we define some, never mind all of the ever changing lingo, acronyms and innuendo? I gathered a few people around the table from two different generations to see if they could decipher some of the code or catch phrases as defined in this revolutionary sexually driven dictionary .

Timothy: “Everything is always relevant when it comes to sex, for ex: what does easy mean… something as a simple text message saying she’s easy, the question is what does that question of easy mean and  over text message. It’s not that clear cause it can mean a different thing…with this book, it’s laid out clear, this is exactly what it means, so you don’t have to use google, you don’t have to use the urban dictionary, you can use the sextionary.”

It’s easy for words to get lost in translation in the dating world. Online communication is challenging to say the least, add to that all these terms that apply to our love/sexual life. There is nothing wrong with being clueless, all you have to do is ask, don’t be shy and never make assumptions. Dating should be fun and playful! If you come across a kinky term and find out its meaning, you may even be curious to explore!

Jason: “There’s a lot of terms that are coming now that people have no clue what they’re saying, so be honest, say I have no clue what that is and go on from there…For example as far as easy…the word has a negative connotation…like it might come quicker, the sex…that’s how I see it…”

Remember, words matter! In a recent survey done by Match.com, there are certain key words like “love” & “fun” that both genders are attracted to. This study also showed women are more likely to click onto profiles that include the word “caring” while men zone in on “easy”. While this may be hair raising for some lets hope the inference is more towards “easy-going” instead of ASSUMING  the derogatory counterpart.

Cheryl: “Men are attracted to the word easy…there’s other ways for saying that I’m easy or that I sleep around…”

Timothy: “Yeah, like I’m a whore, I like to get it on, for those who are married, I like to swing, there are a million sex terms for that…”

Cheryl: “How long did it take to write this book”?

Timothy: “About a year and a half…”

What better way to spice up a conversation while testing the need for a Sextionary than to ask my two guests if they could figure out some of the definitions, a version of an pseudo adult spelling bee.

Cheryl: “So imagine you’re out on a date and somebody says to you, so you ever think of going around the world?”

Marianne: “I’m gonna guess that around the world is all of the stuff and that’s probably more than the stuff that I’m aware of…if someone asked me that…I would asked them to bullet list it for me…when they bring me on a date, I wanna see the check boxes…”

Timothy: “The first one is a term for intercourse that utilizes several different sexual positions before completion; the other definition is the sexual act of kissing, licking or otherwise orally stimulating a partner’s entire body prior to giving oral sex…”

Cheryl: “The whole point of this is to realize that sometimes people can say things to you and they’re not saying what you think they’re saying…”

Cheryl: “BBW…What is that?”

Jason: “Big, beautiful, women”

Cheryl: “Cartwheel position?

Marianne: “I think it involves a hand stand and some penetration…am I close?

Timothy: “I’ll give you that one…”

This next one was a term that I believe everyone should know and safeguard themselves by asking the uncomfortable yet necessary questions when deciding to be intimate and always, always use protection.

Cheryl: “DDF… is Drug and disease free…and it’s commonly used on dating and sex finding apps and websites and personal listings…”

Timothy: “One of my favorites…Do you guys know what vominatrics?”

Jason: “I’m gonna take a wild guess…when people like to be vomited on…”

Cheryl: “What about Devil’s threesome?

Marianne: “That’s when your wife and your mistress find out that they’re having a threesome at the same time…”

Jason:  “If you have a threesome with your wife or your ex-wife!”

Timothy: “I’m gonna give it to Marianne…”

If we refer to the actual  definition of The Devils threesome according to Sextionary this triangle is comprised of  two men and one woman. I wonder if it gets its title from some woman long ago declaring the “DEVIL MADE ME DO IT!”

These are just a few examples what you can learn from this all-inclusive educational yet entertaining 240 pages dictionary about sex. The intention is that you understand the true definition of any sexual act, term  or intimate situation you may encounter or participate in. Now, what you don’t know is at your fingertips, just  look it up! Its as easy as…ABC!

There are many things that you can do to keep your sex life flowing and on track. Your sexual well-being goes hand in hand with your overall mental, physical, and emotional health

Even in the best relationship, sex can become “dull” after a number of years. With a little bit of imagination, you can rekindle the spark. Exploring different sexual positions not only adds interest to lovemaking, but can also help weather some problems. Why not try? Experiment with new positions and activities. Try sex toys and sexy lingerie if you’ve never tried before.

Maybe you’ve never thought of having sex in a secluded spot or in different positions; now might be the time to explore your options. Just the feeling of naughtiness can add spice to your love life!

The most important tool you have at your disposal is your attitude about sexuality. Armed with good information, communication and a positive outlook, the world is your OYSTER (pun intended) and we all know what that means…a healthy happy sex life for many years to come.

If you need any dating advice or my support in your love life, please do not hesitate to reach out to me 1-844-744-SOLO (7656). When it comes to LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS I am always here to keep you “up to date” .

Cheryl xo

 

 

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Have you ever come home from yet another dreadful date, feeling exhausted and exasperated that you just wasted two hours of you precious time that could have been spent with your dog? Have you lost faith in finding someone compatible resigning yourself to being single forever? Have you wanted to give up on dating? Well rest assured; you’re NOT alone!

STEP 1: Get Rid of Limiting Beliefs: It’s so normal to get frustrated after numerous “bad dates”, breakups or divorce.  We often ask: is it me? Is it them? What’s going on? Why can’t I meet someone that sticks around or wants the same things that I do? The emotional connection to these questions has caused people to build walls to protect their hearts from getting hurt.

Cheryl: “Everything that we’ve experienced teaches us something, we can look at it as something that we regret but if you change that mindset which is number one…it becomes a positive, it becomes a lesson learned and not something we regret, so first step is limiting beliefs and the alignment of how they have to come together…”

Alexis Meads.

Alexis: “Every experience that I’ve gone through has brought me to where I am today and I’m happy of where I am…When I talk about limiting beliefs it’s that we’ve had so many times where we’ve heard things over and over again…or that we’ve seen evidence of, then we start taking that evidence as truth…and as we form these beliefs, we start having certain feelings associated with them, from these feeling, we’re gonna take certain actions…because I was open…I met my husband within a few short months…”

Most people perceive relationships that have ended as failure instead of lessons to better ourselves and future relationships.

Cheryl: “Our beliefs are put into action, if we believe there are no good men out there; we stay home, so why go out? So the belief becomes action and the action stops results… How can you have a different result if your mindset is not in line with where you want to be? You have to align your mindset to the result you actually want.”

Alexis: “You will continue getting the same result if you don’t change that initial belief first…what we often don’t see is that we can flip those around…”

“Love your life and your love life will happen” -Cheryl-

The key to limited beliefs is to break that pattern which will ultimately stop creating road blocks.  Take this necessary first step to progress towards your happier life.

STEP 2: Lose the Baggage: If you have had bad experiences in the past, don’t let those define your current or future relationships. Stop assuming or jumping to the conclusion that everyone is like your ex. History does not have to repeat itself and won’t if you learn lessons instead of dragging the “EX”cess weight of your past along!

Cheryl: “I don’t like to talk about baggage, I like to talk about history, because to me baggage is something really heavy, something you drag around…It’s about transforming our past relationships into the positive…”

Alexis: “It’s only baggage when we allow it to hold us back…if you look at it as history; you look at it as it has taught you lessons…You can rewrite your own story…many of us have been through relationships, through heart breaks and it’s the meaning that you’re going to choose to give it, that’s going to create the next experience in the relationship that you’re going to have…”

Step 3: Meeting new People: Stop thinking Oh, there are no good men or women out there, that they are all taken, I’m done, why would I even bother, I won’t meet anyone anyway. That kind of thought will lead only to your couch, alone, with a pint of ice cream like Bridgett Jones and is that where you want to be? A positive mindset will not only help you in your love life, but also benefit your everyday life. You have one life to live, make sure it is the one you want, need and deserve and step out start living that life NOW!

Cheryl: “I try to eliminate the word TRY…You’re not going to try to do something or meet someone, you are going to DO…it’s like the NIKE commercial, JUST DO IT…you have to talk the talk to walk the walk…”

Whether you meet someone online, at the corner store or decide to use a matchmaker to reach your relationship goal, it ALL comes down to your mindset and getting OUT. You have to be in the right stage of your life, be open to meeting people and put yourself out there 100 percent. Most importantly, you have to know your lifestyle, values and goals so that you can align yourself with the right of person. Go where the person you desire hangs out. Lastly, don’t be ashamed to tell friends, family and coworkers that you would like to meet someone and to keep you in mind.

 Alexis: “I hear a lot of complaints about online dating, it’s one way to do it and it can be effective but it’s not the only way…what’s happening with these apps like bumble tinder…is that they’re taking away from some of the traditional dating values…that behind the scenes men and women are wanting, needing…where to meet people? I’d like for you to think about what your interests are, for example if you wanna meet a guy…who likes to travels, likes the outdoors, you have to put yourself in some of those spaces or those situations that he may be hanging…”

If your goal is to meet someone, then you have to believe that YOU CAN and that leads to YOU WILL. You have to have the right attitude, be ready, willing and open to that and have a fresh outlook. You have to be determined and trust that there is someone compatible out there for you. If you change your mindset and the way you define frustration and failure, you will allow yourself to reshape your beliefs and approach towards relationships. Remember likes attract likes!

As your “love optometrist” wink…I suggest that you adjust your “love glasses” to gain clarity so that you can focus on the good. Love is choosing to see and cultivate the good in you as well in another person, rather than accentuating the bad. Love and own who you are as a person and push past your frustrations in life and keep learning as you will cross the finish live. Never give up as if you love your life, your love life will happen!

If you need any dating advice or my support, please do not hesitate to reach out to me 1-844-744-SOLO (7656). I promise to keep you on your toes and “up to date “in your love life. With all the dating sites, apps and social media available in today’s dating world, it has become overwhelming and quite challenging as to how to go about dating

Cheryl xo

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There are many different ways to meet people in today’s “modern dating” world and it’s almost overwhelming. We have all kinds of dating sites and apps and with all the social media platforms accessible at a click of a button; it has truly become challenging to meet someone for those looking for a serious relationship.

With online dating, many post fake profiles just to attract people to them and eventually when they decide to meet up, one person ends up disappointed realizing that the person they’ve been exchanging with in the virtual world seemed a lot more appealing; results? A dead end with an empty feeling for being misled.

Cheryl: “People don’t know what to put out there on that first date…also I often hear well they lied to me about this or that…”

Anyone can register on the online dating websites so for the most part, there’s no screening or “checking boxes” for authenticity. Some websites do require some kind of verification but most often, the authentication techniques are weak, therefore anyone can easily be accepted.

Cheryl: “The best thing is to get to a Skype to avoid the Pinocchio syndrome…exactly know who it is that you’re meeting…”

Many people don’t know or realize that another option is available. A matchmaker service is able to satisfy the customer in ways an online dating company never could. The main difference is in the system itself. Well, think about it, an online dating service is a computer generated software system with no human interaction involved in the process. However, with a matchmaker, you work one on one with a real person to help you find your “match”. There is no algorithm in existence that can replace due diligence, intuition and human communication.

Joan: “As a matchmaker, we want to know who you are, how you live, what’s important to you, and to bring these people to you, put them on your path so you can actually meet them.

Matchmaker services are designed to help support you find the right person by avoiding detours and false information as well as defining your lifestyle, values and Goals. They also help clients overcome limiting beliefs as to the possibility of finding Mr or Mrs Right while aligning expectations of the right person when you have that specific goal in mind; finding your “love mate”.

A matchmaker service does a complete background check of all their clients before working with them, which eliminates the surprise factor.

Joan: “It’s fun to bring these people together where their paths wouldn’t have crossed…that’s where a matchmaker plays a very important role…technology and social media does not help bring people together, in fact it does the opposite so the matchmaker comes in, we get to know people, we introduce people to other people we know, our work is sort of old fashioned, traditional and it works…”

It’s an investment for clients involved and dating is taken way more seriously in this case as there are fees attached to using a matchmaking service. So the client will be there for the right reasons, to find a person to enter into a committed relationship.

Joan: “ You have to talk face to face, no texting no emails, texting is the best way to miss communicate your feelings, especially online dating where people text for weeks before meeting…it’s a non starter from the beginning…we believe strongly for people to meet face to face.”

For all those who have trouble carrying long term relationships or have simply been out of the loop in the dating pool, matchmaking could be the perfect vehicle to finding love. Matchmakers can also give you coaching sessions to bring you “up to date” in the dating world that has changed tremendously, especially now with all the online interactions, the emails and the texting.

Matchmakers and relationship coaches can guide you in taking your time while getting to know the other person instead of rushing or exposing too much at once.  They can give you dating tips and tools that will help ease your dating life. It’s all in the communication which is key!!

Cheryl and Joan Paiement from Intermezzo Montreal.

Joan: “I think that on a first date, you shouldn’t get into past relationships, you should be talking about yourself, getting to know the other person… keeping it light, that’s the advice we would give… also if I’m out on a date I wouldn’t wanna know who he went out with last week, it would shut me down…”

Joan: “We as matchmakers have a lot of problems dealing with the exit strategy. Often if someone’s not interested, they’ll say, you know I’m not really ready for a relationship and the other person will say why you introduced me to somebody who’s not serious, not looking for a relationship which is not the case…”

Cheryl: “That forty five minute date rule that you and I both attest to, eliminates having to lie and make up an excuse, it gives you a fine amount of time to be together and then you can leave at the end of that because it’s been defined that you’re going to. ”

Joan: “When you arrive to meet somebody and you have that first second where you decide okay this is good or this is not good, from that point on, you have a decision to make; you’re either gonna say okay I’m gonna stick this out for forty five minutes or you can also order a beer or some wine and see where this can go …and you could be pleasantly surprised. Even if you’re having the best forty five minutes of your life, keep it at forty five minutes and then look forward to the next meeting and stick to that rule, it works…”

Joan: “The matchmaker is really 100% dedicated to finding the right person for you even if it’s not a person they like, it makes no difference, what a matchmaker is looking for in a match, are three fundamental things: chemistry is not negotiable, it has to be there, values and compatible lifestyles…”

Cheryl: “Everything about life is mindset, you can choose to walk into a room and decide I’m gonna have an awful time, chances are you will…but it’s your positive attitude that’s gonna make a difference. People think that matchmaking is easy…it’s not, there’s a lot of strategy that goes into it, a lot of work, a lot of recruitment and vetting that goes into matchmaking…”

No matter what means you are comfortable using to meet that special someone, you have to make sure of what it is that you’re looking for in a relationship. It is important to know who you are and be crystal clear on your lifestyle, values and goals. That is a great start on your path to finding your “love mate”. Remember love your life and your love life will happen. Be open, get started and put yourself out there!

If you need any dating advice, matchmaking service or my support in your love life, please do not hesitate to reach out to me 1-844-744-SOLO (7656).

Cheryl xo

 

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Does the desire to have sex diminish with age or is it a side effect of our physical changes?

Sexual health is important at any age as the desire for intimacy is timeless. Feeling sexy inside out, whether we are  in a long term relationship or still looking for that special partner is a critical part of our self confidence.

Sex may not be the same as it was in our 20s (many think we get better) however, for some individuals the effects of aging brings forth certain physical challenge like erectile dysfunction and vaginal dryness caused by menopause.

Cheryl: “For some women, menopause has kicked in and they have certain physical challenges… These things can really stop us from living the kind of relationship that we want…that we deserve, so there are things out there that can help us…”

As women, our estrogen levels decrease when we approach menopause which leads to vaginal dryness and slower sexual arousal. Emotional stress can also change our sexual appetite. Changes in body shape and size due to natural aging and having children can trigger one to feel less desirable sexually. As women, we love to feel attractive and sexy at any age. Fear not, that biological clock does not have to stop you from wanting to look and feel your best!

As for men, testosterone plays an important role in their sexual experience. As men age, erectile dysfunctions become more common; it takes longer for the penis to erect and there’s also a loss of firmness. So overall, it may take longer to achieve all the sexual experiences that were once flowing, on point and on track.

Dr. Steinberg: “The men and women don’t see the problem, they just think oh, I’m just aging so they neglect it and put if off…it tends to become a much bigger problem…this doesn’t have to be ignored and can be treated…”

Let’s not kid ourselves, as we get older, gravity takes its toll on both sexes. As we can’t help aging, can we find ways to turn back the clock to keep our sex lives alive and full of passion?

The answer is YES! Thanks to modern day science and technology there are ways to adapt to our body’s changes and keep feeling full of life in every way!!! Wink…It’s just a matter of knowing what our options are.

Sibel, Dr.Steinberg, Cheryl, Roee, Christine, Ramona.

Dr. Steinberg: “We created the elnasexualwellness.com center to deal with all of that, we brought in a sex therapist, we looked at all the recent research and technology that’s been out there…beyond just the “blue pill”, we gathered the best of it, we put together a great team…so now for men, we have brought in 2 newest techniques: one is PRP and the other one is the ultra sonic waves of the penis… It’s an easy procedure, series of six to twelve treatments and causes re growth of the blood vessels…we have started to see great results…”

Roee: “I think the feeling of being inadequate, the anxiety that it can create in a relationship, in an existing one or a new one can be extreme…for both men and woman and we have seen a lot of that change with these new treatments and just listening to these patients and making sure that we’re actually addressing the real issues…we try to create a safe environment for people to discuss that…”

When men and women start experiencing these major internal and external changes it affects their sex life, confidence level and ultimately feelings about one self. Thankfully, such treatments exist which can help not only reignite your own fire but also throw some sparks into your relationship, adding major fuel to your love life.

Roee: “We have the Diva treatment for woman…which is internal…like a laser treatment for the face but for the inside of the vagina, it creates a younger, rejuvenated environment …creates more wetness…less pain during sex…all the collagen, the tightened skin, the circulation is also much better…it’s a much healthier, younger vaginal wall…this happens with a lot of women in their 30’s not just women in their 50’s…we have solutions…”

Cheryl: “It’s that confidence level that gets depleted and stops us from moving ahead…”

Dr Steinberg: “If your mind starts to wonder…it becomes a vicious cycle… the mind is a terrible killer of the sexual move for sure…these treatments bring back the tissue to healthier days…we’re trying to get people back to how things were ten or twenty years ago…”

Roee: “The treatment is not painful… patients feel sexier…it’s life changing treatments…we’ve had patients that haven’t had sex…in five years and longer and suddenly it changes everything and the fear is gone…it changes their outlook…”

Christine: “I did the treatment…It’s a laser, there was nothing negative about it, and for me it was quite painless.  I’m all about rejuvenation…when I heard that it could bring me back to how I used to be as far as lubrication to my early 20’s, that was an amazing thought…and it did… my body was changing …if I can help bring back what I had before my children, I wanna be the best that I can be…”

There are different types of treatments to help us feel youthful. As much as confidence truly starts from within and it’s important to love and accept who we are as individuals, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to maintain looking our best at any age. It’s important to do whatever makes us feel good about ourselves and give us a boost when we need it!

Cheryl: “We need to feel confident in our lives, with our partners or the partners that we hope to attract… I encourage people to do things that make them feel better…and I actually feel better…”

Sibel: “To eliminate localized body fat, we can work any part of the body…lipocavitation is a new technology and the machine that I’m using is the best that we can find in the world, giving the best results…from Italy… one of the most expensive machines…it doesn’t hurt any organs….every session you lose one centimeter…for those who can’t get rid of stubborn fat…they get results …I feel like a magician…I make people happy …we work from the face to the toes… tightening, lifting…without surgery, it’s non evasive, without surgery…no pain, no scars…”

Cheryl: “My body changed and I’m a thin woman…I went in, laid down, it was painless and five sessions later, I had five centimeters that had changed in my body.”

Luckily with modern technology, we have access to all kinds of information. So do your homework, see what your needs are, consult a specialist that can guide you. Also, make sure that whatever you do to your body is to please yourself and no one else. These treatments are your gift to YOU! Your partner will be a benefactor as a result. LOVE yourself first and your true reflection in the mirror!

 If you need any dating advice or my support in your love life, please do not hesitate to reach out to me 1-844-744-SOLO (7656). I promise to keep you on your toes, “up to date” and feeling like you can be sexy at any age!

Cheryl xo

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