Simi, a Holistic Health Coach helps women discover freedom, trust & joy around food, in their bodies, & in their lives & to experience what is possible when they do. The Micro Harvest is a blog dedicated to living a consciously healthy and happy life.
On Friday night, I had a 7PM reservation to meet some girlfriends for dinner. The plan was margaritas, chips with guac, my favorite tacos in town, and great company.
Around 5:45 PM, I felt myself getting hungry.
Before intuitive eating I never would have let myself eat an hour before a dinner reservation. I would have told myself… Just wait! You’re going to dinner soon and you should save the calories!
‘Save the calories’ was a dieting lie I believed for a long time.
I’d have gone to the restaurant famished.
Found myself elbows deep in the bottomless chips, unable to hear anything but the chewing crunch in my ears and unable to think about anything but how quickly I could shovel guacamole into my mouth.
I’d have definitely left dinner feeling like a failure, out of control around food, and that I couldn’t be trusted with chips.
‘NO MORE CHIPS, SIMI! ONLY KALE! YOU NEVER OVEREAT KALE!!!!!’
Ever happened to you, too? If so, I get it and I’m here for you.
Practicing intuitive eating has taught me that when my body is hungry, I can trust that hunger and honor it.
So, at 5:45 PM on Friday night I made myself a snack and enjoyed every bite.
Sure, I ate a snack and I wasn’t quite as hungry at dinner.
But, I was able to enjoy the company and the food a heck of a lot more because I didn’t go into dinner ravenous, distracted, and feeling out of control around food.
There are NO rules about how close to a meal you’re allowed to enjoy a snack.
The idea that it’s beneficial to ‘save the calories’ is one of so many harmful diet lies we’ve been led to believe.
When your body feels hungry, you can trust that hunger and honor it.
All the diet lies (like, ‘save your calories!!!’) can make can make it hard to remember this truth.
I’m so excited to bust through three dieting lies (plus, share the intuitive eating truths) with you this Wednesday night at 7 PM (EST) in the Beautifully Imperfect FB community.
Will you be there?
Chips and guacamole aren’t the problem… the lie that you need to starve yourself earlier in the day to earn and enjoy them is.
P.S. Don’t forget to mark your calendar for 7 PM (EST) Wednesday 3/21 and join the conversation + community here. If you can’t make it live, don’t worry! The Beautifully Imperfect community has access to the replay. I can’t wait!
When was the last time you enjoyed a meal that you ate while rushing through it and feeling super distracted?
There are multiple opportunities a day to experience satisfaction, connection, and pleasure but it’s easy to skip past them. There are so many beautiful moments in life that you miss if you’re constantly distracted or pushing forward to the next thing.
I may or may not be am definitely speaking from personal experience!
I get a lot of questions like, “how can I have a better relationship with food?”
I pinky promise that your relationship with food will improve at least a little bit today if you let yourself enjoy it, taste it, chew it, appreciate it.
In fact, your relationship with most things in life will improve if you slow down to enjoy and appreciate them a bit more.
Where in your life do you want to be intentional about slowing down, so you can enjoy and appreciate more?
On one client call yesterday, we spent some time talking about peanuts and how they can get a bad rep in the “wellness world.”
If you know anything about me, you know that I love peanut butter. I’m going to make a bold statement and say that it’s actually my favorite food (especially if it’s the Costco organic kind… best in the world in my humble, peanut butter loving opinion).
Yet, a decade ago, I didn’t eat peanut butter. Well, I didn’t let myself eat peanut butter. I’d read an interview with Alicia Silverstone saying that she didn’t eat it (and the slew of reasons why), so I decided I shouldn’t eat it either. And, I stopped.
Unless you count restriction-induced binges on that forbidden nut butter, I didn’t eat it again for years.
Is there any food that you don’t let yourself eat?
If so, I have something I want to share with you that helped me.
Rather than asking myself, “If Alicia Silverstone does it, should I?”
I started asking myself, “how does this feel in MY body?”
Because as much as I love Alicia Silverstone, I am my own person. And you are your own person, too.
So, I want to check in with you and ask… is there any food rule or food label (i.e. “off limits” or “unhealthy” or “bad”) that you picked up from someone who you admire — a celebrity, a blogger, a friend, a co-worker, a family member, etc. — that you want to revisit? A food that you want to experiment with by asking, “how does this feel in MY body?”
I can’t wait to hear how it goes for you!
P.S. Comment and let me know what food you’re going to re-try!
I was never considered “athletic” or “good at sports” growing up, so I didn’t get a lot of pressure from adults. But I can remembering hearing parents say to their (athletically gifted) kids that “anything less than first is failure.”
For those kids who were told they had to be first, well I guess they experienced a lot of failure.
Meanwhile, I was having a blast. As someone who was never going to get first place, I actually got to experience a lot of things other than failure. I got to experience doing something even when I felt scared, learning new skills, resilience, and (on more than one occasion) I got to experience that even if you trip over a hurdle and fall on your face… you can still finish the race! I experienced a lot of laughter (including learning to laugh at myself). I experienced the feeling of being part of a team. And, I even got a little better with time.
Clearly this little anecdote was lost on me over time, as a decade later, I was telling my health coach how terrified I was to give up my calorie counting, obsessive workouts, mean self-talk, and the self-imposed demand to be perfect.
“WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME IF I DIDN’T BECOME ‘PERFECT’? If I let myself off the hook to be ‘perfect’? If I fell short of ‘perfect’?”
I feared that I’d turn into a big pile of failure. That I’d start eating baked goods and never stop. That I’d lay on the couch until the end of time with no motivation to move. That I’d suck at my job. That That I’d become lazy, dumb, gross, unlovable.
I tried to explain to her that I couldn’t let go of the behaviors because I had really high standards for myself.
What’s wrong with high standards? Isn’t that what makes someone successful? Isn’t that how dreams come true? Isn’t that how I live up to my potential? I wondered.
What I’ve learned in middle school track, in my own struggle with perfectionism, and from my incredible clients is that while “perfect” can seem like a high standard, it’s actually an incredibly limiting belief.
If “perfect” is the standard, then anything less than “perfect” is failure. “Perfect” means you have two options…
SOMETHING IMPOSSIBLE or
Hmmm… does that sound limiting to you? It does to me!
When you move away from the limiting belief of “everything is perfect or everything goes to hell,” so much opens up. There is SO MUCH LIFE between perfect and failure. In fact, that in between is the place I’ve really found worth living in.
Where in your life has the limiting belief of “perfect” held you back from experiencing joy? From growth? From resilience? From confidence? From going after a dream? From freedom? From connection? From exploration? From faith? From fun?
P.S. If you’re ready to break free from this limiting belief of “perfect” then come join us in Beautifully Imperfect. This community… I don’t even have words. It’s full of (almost 400!!) incredible women, encouragement, honesty, and imperfect joy.
You have permission to change. You’re made to change.
You have permission to take up space. You’re made to take up space.
You have permission to need things. You’re made to need things.
You have permission to be you. You’re made to be you.
You’re not alone
You’re enough. You’re enough. You’re enough.
I just uploaded a virtual Valentine for you in the Beautifully Imperfect community, complete with an exercise that will help you to more deeply connect with yourself and celebrate wherever you’re at in your relationship with your beautifully imperfect self today. You can come watch here.
Love and hugs,
P.S. here is the link to join 350+ women and me in Beautifully Imperfect! Can’t wait to see you in there.
When I’m super inspired by someone, it’s usually because there is a desire in my heart that she has put into action.
For years, I was so inspired by women who had fun, easy, nourishing relationships with food. I really wanted that, but hadn’t learned to put that desire into action. I had to get open to seeing food differently. I had to be willing to experiment with new ways of being. I had to practice and learn new skills. It took time and I wasn’t great at it right from the beginning. But I learned and I grew!
If someone inspires you, rather than comparing yourself to her, I want to encourage you to notice what desire in your heart she’s acting on.
What’s the desire in your heart right now?
You can turn that desire into action, too.
It’s not always going to be easy, you’ll likely need support along the way, it might feel a little scary, and you probably won’t be the “best” at it right out of the gate.
And you know what? That person who inspires you wasn’t either.
But you can learn!
You can grow!
And there will come a day when food will feel fun, easy, and nourishing (or whatever the thing is that you’re desiring) and you’ll realize: “I’m doing it!”
And, without a doubt, you’ll inspire someone else.
P.S. I’m here for you if you want support putting your desires into action. Click here and let me know where support would feel valuable.
Back in the day, this kind of weekend would have felt way less fun and way more stressful. Parties, events, decadent food, and being on camera would have all made me feel super self-conscious in the past. I would have been picking apart how I looked, comparing my body to other women in the room, hyper-analyzing my outfit choices, and close-up to the mirror examining my skin to see if I was “good enough” to enjoy each of the experiences. I would have spent a lot of my mental energy wishing I looked differently, beating myself up for not being perfect, and plotting how to “fix” it all. I would have DREAMED of waking up one day as the kind of women who felt confident enough to enjoy it all (rather than wish it all away).
It is possible to wake up and feel confident enough to enjoy a weekend of parties, decadent food, and being on camera. But, it doesn’t happen by doing what I used to do:
picking apart how I looked,
comparing my body to other women in the room,
hyper-analyzing my outfit choices,
close-up to the mirror examining my skin to see if I was “good enough” to enjoy each of the experiences,
spending mental energy wishing I looked differently,
beating myself up for not being perfect, and
plotting how to “fix” it all.
If you want to feel more confident in your body today, try looking at it less and living life in it more.
Get out there and go for a walk, hug a friend, really taste your food, savor your coffee, dance to 90’s music in your kitchen, take a deep breath.
Then say “thanks” because your awesome body is making all that possible!
P.S. I’d love to hear one way you’re looking at your body less and living in your body MORE today. Come join us here in Beautifully Imperfect to share.
We just got back from two weeks of wonderful family time in Mexico. That’s 14 days of delicious food!
We went out for incredible dinners almost every night, all of which involved multiple courses. Some of the stars of the trip included the creamiest burrata of my life, guacamole made table-side eaten on thick and crispy corn tortillas, super sweet fruit platters, French fries, leafy green salads, scoops of chocolate ice cream, seafood, seafood, and did I mention seafood? Most evenings, we washed it down with a glass (or two) of wine.
On Saturday night, after 14 days of delicious food, I walked in the door of my house feeling so good.
I didn’t feel stuffed, uncomfortable in my pants, or like I had spent two weeks “eating too much.” I didn’t feel like I needed to repent, “eat clean,” or workout extra.
I felt happy, relaxed, and nourished. I felt grateful.
There was a time when I thought having a fun and easy relationship with food had everything to do with food. After years of healing my own relationship with food and now, after years of helping hundreds of other women do the same, I know a different truth: it’s mostly about everything else (and just a tiny bit about food).
So, how do we go from obsessing over food, obsessing over our weight, judging food, judging ourselves, constantly critiquing our bodies, and constantly thinking about how to lose weight, to simply enjoying a family vacation? To simply enjoying being IN our bodies? To simply enjoying delicious food?
How do we get to a place where we fall in love with our beautifully imperfect lives – food, bodies, and beyond?
Here’s what I know: living a life that means something to you, that feels fulfilling, that elevates the things you value most, is probably going to require you to do something (or all things) on this list:
To discover your deep, inherent worth that could never be manipulated by the number on the scale
To speak your truth rather than lying because it is what you think someone wants to hear (and yes, figuring out how to know what that “truth” sounds like is often part of the process I help women with)
To prioritize inner peace over outward busy
To learn to live in a body that doesn’t look like a magazine photo and NOT actively try to manipulate or change it
To let food be food, and not make it the answer to every question in your life
To build lasting relationships (including the one with yourself) full of compassion, forgiveness, authenticity and honesty rather than constantly “upgrading” through “out with the old and in with the new” mentality
To let go of the façade of control and embrace connection instead
To discover you’re worth really being heard, really being cared for, really being seen, really being loved, and really being known
To find the COURAGE to step back and ask, “what matters to me?”
To develop the BRAVERY to look at 50 magazines at the airport telling you that everything you ever wanted is on the other side of 10, 15, or 20 pounds and ask yourself, “does that actually even make sense to me? Does that sound even remotely like reality?”
To activate your deep inner BADASS-NESS to say, “I no longer want to be who I’ve been told I should be, I want to discover who I truly am.”
In my eyes, all women are courageous, brave, and badass. Some of us just need a little support to get in touch with who we truly are (I know I did).
I’m so excited to support courageous, brave, and badass women in 2018.
If there is a way I can support you this year, click here and let me know. I’m here for you!