Psychic Medium Mollie Morning Star is an afterlife communication and grief support blogger. She shares valuable insights based on her extensive experiences with personal clients connecting to deceased loved ones. Learn about the connections, be inspired, healed and filled with renewed hope in these compelling stories.
Is my deceased loved one okay? Are they stuck in limbo? Did they transition to Heaven?
“I am outnumbered.”
The thought sat in my stomach as if I had swallowed a brick. Last weekend, I was standing in a popular bookstore, looking through the shelves for books about mediumship. I was on a mission to discover where people–everyday, average, bereaved people–are getting information about the afterlife.
The shelf was littered with books featuring dark covers with scary, transparent figures. Words like: ghost, demons, haunting, possession, psychic attack—everywhere.
My eyes searched for the books about Heaven. Nearly all of them have a sky on the cover with radiant light beaming out—perhaps have you seen them? I picked a few up and flipped through them. More than one of them covered the topics of spirit release, ghost busting and negative entities.
Again, the heavy thought: “I am outnumbered. I cannot make a difference.”
The evening before, near the end of a group session in Madison, Wisconsin, a young woman who sat weeping, cradled in the arms of an older woman, asked me a question. I presumed them to be mother and daughter.
“My sister had a session with a medium who told her that my grandfather couldn’t communicate because he didn’t cross over and was stuck. My grandfather was a wonderful man who believed in God and led a good life. This has been so upsetting to our family. Is my grandfather okay, and why would this happen?”
I took a deep breath and counted to five.
You see, this is something I deal with every single week. And it makes my blood boil. I am so angry and disappointed at the choices other so-called mediums are making because I am often the one cleaning up the emotional mess they create.
In another example, a widow recently requested an emergency session because she was so upset by a session with another medium. She shared with me later that she had chosen the medium based upon the criteria of an inexpensive price and availability for an in-person meeting.
When the time came for her phone session, I immediately connected with her husband who had recently passed.
The reading began with her husband communicating: “Tell her I died on the best day of my life, doing what I loved.”
“He did. He truly did,” she said.
After her successful session with me, my client went on to explain that the previous medium started the session by vocally asking permission from her 34 “Spirit Guides” to connect with my client’s deceased husband. It just got worse from there. The medium stated she couldn’t connect with the husband because he was so mad at himself. He was kicking himself for dying, and stuck.
A few years ago, I had a similar experience with a young widow, who, at the end of her extremely validating phone session said to me, “Are you absolutely sure he’s all right and doesn’t blame me for his death?”
I was shocked by the question! For the last hour I had given her validations and messages of great caring and love from her young husband who acknowledged that his choices led to his passing. He died from a disease called alcoholism. I stress that this is a disease, a valid one—and not a lifestyle choice. It starts as a choice to begin drinking, but addiction takes over.
I asked her why she would even dream of posing this question after having so many validations brought forward over the last hour.
The culprit? She had seen a medium who said her husband couldn’t communicate with her because he was tormented and blamed her for his death. She should have done more, the medium said.
She was in emotional agony. As if losing her life partner and raising their child alone wasn’t a daunting enough task, now she had to also worry about him holding a grudge in the afterlife.
Last month, a woman posted repeatedly on my Facebook page, begging me to call her. English was her second language, she didn’t have full access to the Internet and her daughter had just died. She had urgent questions. Thankfully, she happened to call my office while I was in and I was able to answer.
She told me she had been to see a medium who told her that in order to spiritually connect with her daughter she had to get rid of all her daughter's possessions, “let her go” and wait 40 days. She sobbed into the phone saying she just couldn’t bring herself to throw away her daughter’s clothing, etc.
This is INSANITY. I was so upset, I prodded for the name of the medium in Chicago so I could personally hunt her down! I cannot fathom where anyone would get this information! To throw away a beloved child’s personal belongings in order to have a reading? A mandatory waiting period? I have done successful sessions with clients HOURS after a loved one’s passing. In her agony, this bereaved mother didn’t know what to believe. How could she be burdened to sort out what is spiritually true while undergoing the absolute worst trauma of her life?
Not a week goes by without someone coming to me with emotional pain caused by a bad experience with a medium. I could go on citing examples for endless days!
What gives?! My frustration with this left me stewing about what to write for a long time. I have hesitated for the simple reason that I know my stand will be unpopular, without much peer support, and I will probably lose friends.
I know some very nice people, fellow mediums, who regularly promote their practice of spirit attachment release, ghost busting and home clearings for stuck souls. I like these people and don’t want to lose their friendship.
The time has come for me to do a clearing of my own. I can’t be quiet anymore.
It is not accurate, ethical or correct for a medium to be on both sides of the fence. You cannot say, “Your loved ones are at peace.” And then, “Except maybe those souls who got stuck when they died by suicide or trauma.”
We need a complete overhaul of these false beliefs.
First of all: Where did anyone learn that a Soul could be stuck? Was that idea taught by someone who simply shared the idea that a Soul could be stuck? How many generations of teachers perpetuate the idea of stuck Souls? Does it ever stop? Where is the proof? Where is the evidence?
Second of all: How can anyone know with exactness and authority the specific details of the afterlife? Again, where is the proof? Where is the evidence?
I have read hundreds of books about people’s individual experiences with the afterlife. Everything from dreams, experiences had while in a coma, near death experiences, back from death experiences; all of it. Many stories share similar themes, but they vary widely in the details. Even faith traditions have widely varying views of what happens after this life, and sometimes even they change their official opinions. In April of 2007, Pope Benedict XVI officially did away with the state of limbo for the Catholic Church –after 800 years of indoctrination!! Throw in the fear based drama on the Internet and social media, and it’s nearly impossible to know who or what to believe.
Let me tell you everything I know about the afterlife: Who we are, our Soul, doesn’t die or cease communicating upon the death of the physical body.
This I can prove to you by providing verifiable details and facts received by mental telepathy from the deceased and what they see happening in your life since their death.
Honestly, that’s it. That is all I can prove.
Everything else that I can share with you is information based on my experiences within the context of a “reading” or spirit communication done for clients. If I present you with information you don’t agree with, please disregard it and use your own truth barometer to decide what works for you.
This leaves most questions open-ended and up for personal interpretation.
The question I get asked the most often is: Is my loved one at peace?
With all of the books, TV shows, websites and mediums promoting ghosts, earthbound souls, and hauntings--I get it. I deeply understand your panic and need to know if your loved one is okay. It is our human nature to care about the wellbeing of our children, spouses and friends, and when they die, and we can no longer see and speak with them to verify if they are indeed, “okay,” panic can quickly take over.
A medium seems like miracle cure for this; someone who can see and communicate with the dead. Surely, someone with this ability can assuage our pain by letting us know how the deceased loved one is doing. Right?
Well, let me tell you a little about people with spiritual abilities. I’ll start with me.
I did not request this ability. In fact, I didn’t even want it when it showed up in my life. I tried everything to get rid of it. I no more choose to be a medium than I choose to have freckles.
And neither did most other people with spiritual abilities. It happens to people in all walks of life, on every continent and with every personality type. Some people born with a spiritual ability are complete jerks. Some higher power didn’t select a chosen few to act as earth angels with spiritual abilities.
Just like some folks have light hair, some people can communicate with the dead. Just like some light-haired people will be up to no good in life, so will some people with spiritual abilities.
Anyone with an ability is given free will to use it as they choose.
And anyone seeking the assistance of a person with a spiritual ability is free to choose with whom they would like to work.
What I am hoping you will take away from this article is:
As a Spiritual practitioner the “services” you choose to offer may cause extreme, deep and lasting pain for bereaved persons if you cannot provide them with a validating connection. The only, and I mean ONLY thing you should say to a client you cannot provide healing validation to is: “I am sorry. I am unable to connect.” Accept full responsibility, and nothing less. It is honorable and ethical to be truthful and say that you cannot connect.
A medium’s inability to provide a validating connection is the fault of the medium, and not the deceased.
As a Spiritual client you are responsible for doing your research before booking a session. You must educate yourself about the differences betweens mediums and psychics; having a session by phone or in-person; and finding a medium who has garnered a reputation for healing work over a long period of time. Watching television shows is NOT educational about how mediumship works. It is entertainment, for which you pay quite dearly each month. Just look at your cable bill. If you book an appointment with a medium who also offers to “release” stuck souls, you have been forewarned that they may tell you your loved one is stuck, too.
You must accept the responsibility for doing the research to book a medium who is known for accuracy and ethics. No one will ever try to stop you from booking the psychic a friend knows, who for $65 will do a reading for you in a pub every other Thursday night. Is your pain that casual? So it can be healed in a restaurant in 5-10 minutes in front of a room full of people? Or do you need a private session focused on you alone? This is your choice.
Your healing is your responsibility.
To create a world full of ethical and responsible mediums is a battle I know I will never win. To teach every average bereaved person how to select a medium who is right for them, or better, how to connect on their own—is a mountain I cannot climb.
But, I have just made you think. And that means I may have helped one person reconsider these unhealthy beliefs. Whether you are the spiritual worker or the person seeking help, I ask you to please uphold the highest standards for healing.
Personal responsibility matters. We are all connected and the choices we make create a ripple effect of fear or love. The choice is yours.
Disclaimer: This article reflects my opinion and belief that a person who has died is "okay." My belief is a result of having the first hand experience of delivering thousands of validating, verifiable messages from a person who died. At no point, in any session, be it a private or a public group, has a deceased person reported being stuck, held back, unwell, unwilling or unable to communicate for any reason whatsoever. I have ended a few private sessions where the information received was not understood, but never a case where that was the fault of the deceased. If this belief doesn't work for you, please disregard it.
I stand firmly in the belief that it is spiritually safe to die. If I stand alone, I am okay with that.
During a recent dinner with my friend Bridget, we had a chance to speak about the conditions surrounding her father's passing. She brought up a topic that had been heavily on my mind for weeks: the big, unanswerable "Why?" question. Her father had been deaf, and near the end of his life also became blind, while dealing with mobility issues. She voiced her sadness over her father's multiple health issues stating that she didn't understand why so many problems occurred for one person. It's a question she'd like answered by the big guy upstairs.
Several years ago I had a bereaved father ask on my Facebook Page "Why would God punish me this way? What did I do?" It's a sentiment I have heard before. As if the death of your child could be a fitting punishment...for anything.
As a medium, it's a question I feel I could never answer to satisfaction. The idea of telling a newly bereaved parent that the reason their child died was for the soul growth of the people who loved him or her is ridiculous. And yet, I have friends that are bereaved parents going on 10 years or longer, and they say this themselves, and it soothes the ache of not knowing a specific reason. It's an acceptance of something bigger than our human comprehension.
I decided to ask two experts for their input on this question, and how to help bereaved people move beyond what is often unanswerable. Author Mark Ireland, who is a bereaved father and co-founder of Helping Parents Heal; and Ronnie Susan Walker, who is the founder of the Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors both shared thoughts with me that I am posting below.
Dealing with and moving past nagging questions, after the transition of a child.
Parents who experience the passing of a child will invariably wonder why this happened to them. Further, many will dwell on questions about what they could have done to prevent it. “If I’d just done this, or just done that” the inner dialog usually goes. In the case of the latter question there is usually nothing the parent could have done to change things. So the person causes their own suffering by unnecessarily contemplating pointless “what if’s” over and over.
The “why” question is a big one and may never be answered to the satisfaction of most parents but it is possible for such a person to move forward and live a happy productive life if they are willing to shift their thinking. The first requirement is a willingness to be happy rather than believing they must suffer to honor their child. If a person inwardly asks themselves whether their child would want them to be unhappy, the answer “no” is immediately revealed. Next, the parent must be willing to accept that things will never be the same as they were before. They can be happy and even continue to have a relationship with their child in spirit, but things will be different than they were in the past.
Finally, there is the issue of context—the big picture. The reality is that this life is short and we will all physically die at some point. For me this life is but a blip in our extended existence, just one step in the evolution of our soul/spirit. From that standpoint I am able to understand that there may have been reasons why my son left this world more quickly than I would have liked. Perhaps he was an advanced soul, here to teach people how to live, love, and to embrace the most important things. I know that he behaved in this way because of his inner nature and not because of any rulebook. I have grown through the lessons he taught me and have used this wisdom to help others. And I know I will be with Brandon again, but he will most likely be different. He will be more.
What did your child teach you? Are you able to take those things forward to help yourself heal—to serve others and help them heal?
And from Ronnie Susan Walker, Founder and Executive Director of the Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors.
Survivors inevitably search for a reason, perhaps because having a reason might restore some small sense of control in a seemingly unpredictable world. Trying to understand "why" can occupy our minds for a long time. Ultimately many realize they may never know.
When survivors talk about their loved ones, it becomes evident that there is no one path or cause for suicide. Each story is unique. Some who take their lives have struggled long and hard with previously diagnosed mental illnesses such as Bi-Polar Disorder, Depression, Schizophrenia or Borderline Personality Disorder. Others have never been diagnosed, but in hindsight, had many traits that fit these diagnoses. Some have spoken of suicide at various points in their lives. Others never spoke of suicide or gave any indication of depression. Some suicides appear to be impulsive following a significant disappointment. Others seem more-planned. Many people who take their lives have alcohol or drugs in their system. Others do not. Some leave notes. Others do not.
It appears that each person who dies by suicide has reached a point where they can no longer tolerate their pain and suffering. Most don't intend to leave behind a wake of pain and destruction. They are simply searching for a way out of an unbearable struggle.
In the last six weeks I have been inundated with questions from people who are driving themselves crazy, thinking their beloved Souls in Spirit must still be reacting to the bumps and jolts of life like humans do.
Why would that be? They’ve transitioned to a different realm, and believe, me, they’re different themselves.
Let me share some of the situations:
A good friend said about her son who had passed, “Man! I can’t even imagine how he’s stewing about this (family situation) in Spirit!”
A very spiritual friend asked, “Mollie, do you think my brother is upset about _____, who didn’t come to his funeral? I mean, is he deeply offended?”
A question posted on a suicide support website was forwarded to me: “I had a friend who had transgender feelings near the end of his life. Does anyone have experience about what gender that person is in Heaven now?”
A comment from a client, “I’m surprised she didn’t have more to say about all that has happened with her many children since her death.”
And, a really frequent question I get on Facebook, “Is my child growing up in Heaven?”
Whoaaaaaaaaa, Nelly! Let’s slow this crazy-train down a second and get grounded.
A teacher I studied with in England, Simon James, once said, “The Soul is unborn and cannot die.” Among mediums, we often say, “You don’t have a Soul, you ARE a Soul having a human experience.”
A human being is a physical body that is ultimately limited and ruled by the physical world. Someone you love that has died has shed the physical body and the limitations it carried. It’s completely understandable that you still see them as having a body, because that is how you knew them and loved them here. But now they do not—and that is a very good thing.
I took a poll on my Facebook Page asking this question, “Upon death, does the Soul become enlightened?”
Overwhelmingly, people responded yes. In my many years of giving verifiable readings, I can say this conclusion is completely consistent with my experience. I have never connected with a Soul that has indicated anything different.
So my opinion is that yes, when we die we are enlightened as to:
–what our life purpose was,
–how our actions affected others and
–why certain situations developed. We can see their purpose, and we can release our judgments about them.
Is your mom super ticked-off that her daughters fought over her jewelry?
Well, she couldn’t take it with her, so the jewelry wasn’t that important to her in the end. She certainly is aware of the struggle that her daughters have with their attachment to material goods, and she sees that they are learning lessons about that.
Is your brother hurt that someone didn’t show up to his funeral?
Not really. He is now aware of the spiritual struggle that the person who didn’t show up is going through. He is much more likely to have compassion for that person than to be offended.
Is my friend male or female in Heaven?
Male or female is something a body is. Souls are neither. If you were to have a connection with this Soul through a medium, he or she—take your pick—would present him/herself in a way you would recognize. That could be as a male, but perhaps with a softer energy.
Is my child growing up in Heaven?
Without a human body, I doubt that your six-year-old is now six feet tall. What’s much more important is that your child’s soul is still growing. That is true for all of us, on Earth and in Heaven. We are always learning. When you are reunited, you will recognize your child, and that terrible, physical chasm between you will be filled to overflowing with a sacred connection.
When you book a reading with a medium, the intent and purpose of the session is to receive validations that your loved one has survived the change we call death and is still aware of your life. These validations prove the survival of the Soul beyond death of the body.
I sometimes explain what it is like to do a reading like this:
Imagine a very deep swimming pool, with lots of objects down at the bottom. I take a deep breath, jump in and use every bit of energy that I can to gather objects. When I can no longer hold my breath, I surface and we see what we’ve got.
To that end, when I do a reading for a client, I jump into the energy and gather information. It’s always my hope and prayer that the information I am able to gather will serve the purpose of identification and validation.
Here’s what a reading is not: a direct opportunity for your loved one to relay opinions about the choices people make and the goings on here in the physical realm.
There is a world of difference between your loved one being aware of your marital issues and communicating a message for you to pursue a divorce.
While your loved ones are aware of all that goes on, you may or may not receive a specific validation in any reading. And further, you may get totally different validations from different mediums. Everything is dependent on what information the medium can gather in that moment. This may not be at all what you think is the “most important.”
When it comes to teaching bereaved persons about Soul communication, I always try to take a very gentle approach, especially with someone who is already hurting. This, however, is one of those times where only a blunt answer will do.
It is not the place of a deceased person to weigh in on situations with their judgments, as if they are still ruled by physical conditions. They are not. Lucky them! So they are no longer engaged in the fight to keep a human body alive. The survival of the fittest does not apply. Their Soul is free from that confined state, and so is their mind. They understand the bigger picture in ways we do not.
I really hope that this will answer your questions about whether those we love who have died are now at peace. Remember not to impose physical traits on someone who is within the spiritual realm. They see the bigger picture. They communicate with us to show their love and support for you as you continue the sometimes-difficult course of having a human experience.
This blog is dedicated to Jan De Blieu, with loving thoughts of her son, Reid, that passed away eight years ago today. Jan is an author that I met over 20 years ago while living on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. We had sons at the same time, and I helped care for Reid when he was a toddler so Jan could have focused time for writing. All these years and a different life later, Jan is now the editor of my blog. I would be thrilled to have her help in any circumstance, but she also serves another purpose as the filter and voice of a bereaved mother with my work. Jan embarked on a deep soul-mission to search for service opportunities to help soothe her grief and I recommend following her writing on her blog or her Facebook Page.
Reid continues to be a guiding light for us both as we work to help others work through times of grief into the joy of meaningful connection.
We invite you to learn more about booking a personal session with Mollie that has the potential to ease your grieving significantly.
At 2:30 p.m. on Dec. 22, I hung up the phone from my last psychic medium reading of the year, full of anticipation and hope.
You see, my basement drains had been backing up onto the floor since August, and I had a plumber set to arrive at 2:45. This would be my fifth attempt to open the drain lines. My Christmas wish was to prepare dinner for my family (using the kitchen sink) and catch up on laundry.
Right on schedule, the plumber arrived. He was affable and oozed Midwestern sensibility. I instantly liked him.
He was talkative, sharing that he had grown up in the small house next door. He told me my house used to be a distillery during Prohibition.
“I had actually heard that rumor from an elderly neighbor 15 years ago!” I said with excitement.
“Yep, my Uncle Omar owned this house and he’d brew his hooch down here. Al Capone’s guys would pull up in the attached garage and take it to Chicago.”
I was fascinated by this confirmation and began researching Prohibition-era distilleries. (I also wondered if Omar's spirit brought me the right plumber? Of course he did! We both love "spirit.")
Unfortunately, the problems with my basement laundry room just got worse. It quickly became a down-to-the-studs renovation. We even had to take out the concrete floor and install a new drain system.
One day during the demolition, the workers called me downstairs. Three feet below the surface of the concrete floor was a secondary foundation slab. It wasn’t like anything any of us had ever seen. We concluded that during the ‘20s, the bootleggers must have dug out the basement and installed a false floor to hide the alcohol.
I decided I wanted to finish the basement room in the style of the 1920s. I went looking for reproduction light fixtures, hexagon floor tiles, old liquor bottles and natural weave baskets. Every time I’d touch something made of pure cotton, wood or metal, a feeling of it “being right” came over me. Plastic anything, not so much.
I began to question my attachment to this idea of recreating the past. I mean, what was it that made a jute rug feel “right” to me? There are sturdy, synthetic rugs now that are more practical for a utility room. And why would I want to bring back the era of Prohibition, one of America’s worst policy failures ever?
Suddenly a light went on in my head. I realized that idealizing the past can be a major issue. And I mean, MAJOR.
After the death of a loved one, nearly every one of my clients has to deal with idealizing the past.
They aren’t the only ones. As a society, we often long for past eras when we believe life was better, fuller, easier, more fun. When I began to look into the psychology behind this problem, I found dozens of articles by researchers and doctors that were incredibly insightful.
One of the spiritual great “aha” moments people have is when they meet someone new and report “It feels like I have known him forever.” This is not, in fact, a great sign that you have met your dreamy soul-mate. All too often, the person evokes in you an old behavior pattern that you unconsciously recognize from your childhood. My own path to healing has been one that forces me to confront childhood abandonment wounds, so that I am more open to creating new relationships as an adult.
I see many clients who struggle through repetitive, abusive relationships, but with different partners or family members. It is as if they seek out the familiar, even when it is damaging to them.
I once read a statement about this behavior pattern that said that in order to move forward “we have to heal our attraction to abuse.” This was an eye-opener for me! Just because we have become accustomed to a behavior does not mean it is healthy. We are instinctively attracted to the familiar.
“The nostalgic urge to recreate the past within the present is, in many ways, a driving force for behavior -- how frequently we marry spouses with characteristics reminiscent of those of our parents.
I was shocked! Nostalgia as a driving force for behavior?
As I sat with that idea, I realized it was true. I remembered how excited I got when I heard that “Throwback Pepsi” was hitting the supermarket. The soda of my carefree childhood days, made with pure sugar. What could be better? (A lot of things could be better than dumping a can of pure sugar down your throat!)
It can be a burden for us to try and embrace the current moment. New, unfamiliar things are present, like an unimagined life without someone we love by our side. It makes perfect sense that we’d prefer to linger emotionally in an idealized past than deal with the sometimes crushing reality we wake up to.
It is essential for us to recognize our tendency to act upon nostalgic feelings. There are wonderful aspects of nostalgia that have been shown to help those who grieve. I love this quote:
"Nostalgia serves a crucial existential function. It brings to mind cherished experiences that assure us we are valued people who have meaningful lives.”
-- Clay Routledge, Associate Professor, North Dakota State University.
You can also watch Clay Routledge speak on nostalgia here:
But for our own well being and healing, we have to strive to find the balance between then and now. To allow the warm feelings of previously experienced love and connection to give us a strong purpose as we move forward into unknown territories. But that is all we should let them do. We need to temper our longings for the past with a dose of wisdom: the recognition that we have a tendency to look backwards through rose colored glasses.
Yes, we had some wonderful times. And we possess the strength to create new wonderful times.
This second statement is what will help us successfully move on with our lives.
I’ll let you know how the basement speak-easy turns out!
We invite you to learn more about booking a personal session with Mollie that has the potential to ease your grieving significantly.
Have you ever wished someone would give you the answers to make your day a little easier? Here's a way to receive sage advice, instantly.
As I sat waiting for the stoplight to turn green, I considered which route would get me home the fastest. I was in a hurry, with a to-do list a mile long.
Turn left, and I’d risk getting stuck at a light.
Go straight and deal with multiple stops signs.
Which route would save me thirty seconds? I was getting more stressed by the nanosecond.
“Just relax a little, Mollie.”
What!? Who said that?
My own voice had startled me.
You see, I not only communicate with the dead, I communicate with myself. That is, my “Higher” self.
As I continued to sit, waiting on the light, a conversation with my friend Jeff suddenly came to mind.
“Every time I really need to decompress after work, I drive the inconvenient way home so I have to stop on every corner. It’s my zen moment,” he said.
The light turned green, and I went straight. And I stopped on every corner, taking a breath and simply pausing. I noticed people walking their dogs. Children playing. Many neighbors had filled their flowerpots with beautiful summer annuals. It was a pleasant day, but I hadn’t appreciated that.
When I arrived home, one minute later than I could have, I felt a lot saner.
Unfortunately, we can’t always find our way out of stress, grief or discomfort by taking the long way around. Sometimes we need to charge straight through. The trick to surviving this is to use all our resources, including our ever-present source of help – our intuition, or gut instinct, or as I call it, my “Higher” self.
The very same faculties that are used when we connect with a deceased loved one are used when we communicate with ourselves. Soul communication can be with anyone, living or passed. Why would you exclude yourself from that?
Part of living a spiritually awake life is practicing excellent self-care. It’s important to foster a spiritual connection with a loved one to help ease your grief. But, it is absolutely vital to connect with yourself as you chart the way forward after a loss.
When was the last time you checked in on You?
The way you are feeling on the surface is likely obvious. But you may need to explore deeper to see how you really feel, and determine what you need to move toward healing.
Try this experiment: Sit somewhere comfortably, close your eyes, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “What do I need?”
Here’s the catch: answer the question out loud.
A key muscle to build while learning to communicate on a Soul level is the trust muscle.
We have spiritual reflexes with lightning-fast reactions. But we tend to bog down the process with analytical thinking.
When you pose a question to yourself, the answer is usually immediate, though most of us prefer to dissect it, looking for a reason not to trust our instincts. At a deep level, though, we know when it is correct.
What’s your immediate answer? Can you trust it?
The next time you are in a funk, ask yourself what you need in order to get out of it. Answer out loud. And while you’re at it, try Jeff’s method of taking the long route home to slow down and regroup.
Those “wasted” minutes might be the best you have all day.
We invite you to learn more about booking a personal session with Mollie that has the potential to ease your grieving significantly.
Psychic Medium Readings in Oak Brook, Chicago Illinois - Milwaukee Green Bay, WI
Are you frustrated and feeling alone because you haven't seen a sign from loved one in Spirit? You are not alone!
“I haven't had one sign, visit, or sense of presence, not once since my husband died, and I'm beginning to think that's not normal. I would love for you to discuss this side of survivorship. No one ever wants to discuss it - like it's some ugly secret - but I have to believe others are in the same boat as me.” Kathy Joint –via Facebook
This comment, left on my Facebook page last week, is a perfect example of why my mission in life is to help educate as many people as possible about how Spirit Communication works. Having a session with a medium is wonderful way to receive validations that can become catalysts for healthy change in the grieving process. However, becoming dependent on a medium for receiving signs from the people you love is not healthy. Thankfully, you can learn to interact with these living Souls on your own.
If you’ve been to one of my events, you already know my main schtick: Education is Everything. Followed closely by, “Entertainment is NOT Education!”
If you are in the same boat as Kathy, looking for a sign that just isn’t there, let’s discuss three potential reasons why this is happening.
1. You are looking for something that is unreasonable.
This is the most important point. Many people get inducted into the club of, “I Lost a Loved One,” with no warning. Newly bereaved people have usually had exposure to mediums only through television, and there is nothing about a staged, highly edited and entertaining show that you should regard as an example of what to expect. Without the benefit of a physical body, it is impossible for a Soul to show up and speak words to you that you will hear through your ears. If you are ready to read more about how a departed loved one will communicate with you, check out "Learn to Connect With Loved Ones in Spirit." I wrote this article last year to teach you the three basic steps to recognizing the connection.
2. Your analytical thinking prevents you from being open to new information.
I am, by nature, a skeptic. Yes, you read that right! In nearly every situation, I need to see something to be able to believe it. This is the main reason I choose to use my abilities as an evidential medium, and only as an evidential medium. When I do a reading for a client, the session is full of verifiable details and obscure validations that only the client and the deceased person will know. These validations are what provide the deep healing for most bereaved people. They prove that living Souls see you and know what you are doing.
I did not open to my gift as a medium until I was an adult. In fact, I was deeply skeptical of people who claimed to be psychics or to be able to tap into the paranormal. I probably have always had the ability to communicate with Souls who have passed, but I never realized it—until they started making their presence known in a way I couldn’t ignore! Once I educated myself about how Spirit Communication works, my mind became much more open to recognizing synchronicities and signs. They are all around us.
If you have spent a considerable amount of time investigating the afterlife, reading, attending workshops, and participating in support groups and you are still not receiving anything you feel could be a “sign,” then something is not right—which brings me to my last point.
This last point is one I hate to bring up, because I see it used as an excuse far too often by “mediums” when they can’t make a connection to loved ones in Spirit. There is, however, some truth to it. In the dimension of Spirit, where our loved ones are encompassed by eternity, time is simply not the same as on Earth. When we are feeling desperate for spiritual comfort and it evades us, there may be, unfortunately, a reason. In my experience, there is never a point at which those whom we love in Spirit abandon us. But they will sometimes become a bit quieter in order to help us grow. I think of it like offering an ever-present “bail-out plan” to my college-age children. If I am around to solve every issue, how will they ever become independent adults? There are points in our life where our desperation serves as a great motivation for us to change, learn and reach the next level in our healing.
Location: Call in to a USA phone number from anywhere.
Date:June 20, 27 and 30 2016 at 7:30pm Central
This is open to 20 participants who want to dive into recognizing connections, with personal attention from me. It’s a three-part series, being held Monday, June 20; Monday, June 27; and Thursday, June 30, at 7:30 p.m. Central Time. This class is designed to help bereaved people understand Spirit communication and recognize signs in a logical, easy-to-understand way. We will not be covering topics that have nothing to do with traditional communication techniques (i.e., paranormal activity, spirit guides or past lives). This class is for people who want to learn to feel connected to a deceased loved one.
These 90-minute phone calls will be recorded, so if you can’t make any of the dates, no worries! I will send you the recording so you can listen on your own schedule.
Everyone has a natural, unbreakable connection to their loved ones who have passed, but there is simply not enough reasonable information available to the average person to demystify the process and acquaint the beginner with the language of Spirit. If you are ready to take the next step and explore your own connection to Spirit, this is the class for you! A connection to Spirit is focused on love and healing. The class is specifically designed to show bereaved people that they don’t need a medium to feel the love of someone dear to them who has passed.
This all-day workshop was created specifically to address the needs of bereaved persons who wish to explore their own connection to the Spirit world in a grounded environment, with personal attention.
The group is limited to 50 participants. This is a great size group, small enough for everyone’s concerns to be heard and addressed, but big enough to give participants ample opportunity to begin meaningful friendships with other attendees.
Here’s what a participant from my last class said about her experience:
"I went to the workshop to gain the ability to communicate with my daughter in spirit, but I got so much more. It was an experience that changed my way of thinking. Mollie answers questions in such plain language. I would recommend this workshop to everyone looking to make their own connections!"
Like it or not, the holidays are upon us! With a few days off this past weekend, I was able to spend time catching up with friends. There was a recurring theme of “holiday unrest” with many of my favorite people this year: families fighting over meaningless things, choosing to sit around and drink instead of help with dishes, and bringing up memories from 20 years ago that definitely should have been left alone. You know, the kind of family that puts the “fun" in dysfunction!
My Thanksgiving was really a good one. Both of my children were home from college, and we were invited to spend the day with wonderful friends. We played charades with a new iPad app, feasted on a traditional meal and cuddled up by the fireplace. I’m not trying to rub it in, but it was pretty ideal. My favorite part of the day happened after dinner. (No, it wasn’t dessert!) There were so many people in the kitchen helping clean up that Grandma and I decided to stay out of the way and have a chat.
My friend’s mom, who we all call Grandma C, is a cherished lady. It is obvious how much her family loves her. She is a lovely Irish widow who has more children than I have shoes and lives in Minnesota. I know that someone who has faced the challenges of harsh winters and many mouths to feed has gleaned some wisdom along the way. I was eager to find out how she managed to raise such a loving family.
I asked her, “What would you say is one of the most important things you’ve learned in your 80 years?” She thought for just a few seconds and replied, “To zip your lips!” and mimicked the motion across her mouth.
I was surprised! I was thinking she was going dispense wisdom that was spiritual or a bit holy.
“My mother told me that, too. Some things just do not need to be said.” Grandma C added.
As we continued to chat, I began to understand the wisdom in what she advised and how it correlated to what was happening during our Thanksgiving together. These people were nice to each other—genuinely so. They had not grown up with constant criticism, so they refrained from criticizing others.
After speaking with my friends, and remembering some of my own holiday horror stories, I thought my conversation with Grandma C was worth sharing with you. Also, I wrote a blog last year on a similar topic, “The Criticism Cure.” (just click through to read it). It received a lot of response and may be helpful if you’d like to build a more positive attitude toward your loved ones, and life.
So if you want to have a happy family in the long run, think about zipping your lips in the short run.
With Mother’s Day coming up, and Father’s Day right behind, I know there are a lot of heavy hearts out there. Whether you are missing a child or a parent who has died, it’s impossible to escape the feeling that something, or rather, someone, is missing.
Recently I read a study about different ways to foster feelings of hopefulness. The point that most jumped out at me was that it helps immensely if you have something fun planned for the near future. A large part of the enjoyment from a planned vacation is actually the time you spend looking forward to it, anticipating what’s to come.
And so it is with our celebrations: A large part of the sadness associated with holidays after a significant loss is the dread that accompanies the days preceding them.
Here in America, it seems we have a major holiday every month. The aisles of stores are always filled with some kind of holiday merchandise. When you add the birthday and anniversary of your loved one’s passing, it is like being barraged non-stop by reminders that someone is missing. As if you could forget.
I have found a few effective solutions for dealing with holidays after a loss that I’d love to share.
The first is to take a trip and basically ignore the holiday by occupying yourself doing something different. It’s “escapism” on a healthy level. Honestly, I think it can really help a person or family get through the first few years after a passing. Things have changed, and a change of scenery often helps soften the blow.
The second practice that seems helpful is to increase your mindfulness in the days preceding the holiday. What exactly does that mean? It’s simple, really: Make a commitment to monitor your thoughts and change them. When you find yourself slipping down the slope of grief the week before a holiday, become aware of what you’re doing and make a conscious decision to take some time out. In that pause, take a deep breath and connect yourself physically to the earth. Remind yourself of where you are. You still have breath. It’s just another day. What would you be doing on this day if you hadn’t had a significant loved one pass?
Now take another deep breath and commit to taking an action to carry on “as if” a terrible day wasn’t looming ahead. This is called perseverance, and it’s tough.
My last suggestion is to make space for your grief within the celebration. Find something meaningful to you that creates a feeling of connection with your loved one. Here are some ideas:
-Set a place at the holiday table with a framed picture of your loved one.
-Take some quiet time that day to visit the memorial site with flowers or a small offering.
-Offer a whole-hearted toast to the loved one, and allow everyone to share a memory.
Make sure that everyone attending the celebration knows that it’s okay if you cry. Often, if you simply tell people, “Hey, if I break down and cry today, I want to thank you for being here and not being bothered by that.” In an ideal world, we would be surrounded by family and friends who give us the space to grieve. But often shows of emotion make people uncomfortable. You have the power to ease that discomfort by telling everyone in advance that you are okay with you crying, and thanking them for being that way, too.
And in all cases, seek solidarity with those who walk your path. No one knows the loss of a child until they have experienced it. Being surrounded and supported by people who “get it” is vital.
All separations in the physical world are temporary, and a spiritual separation can never occur. Even knowing this, it takes work to remember it when your emotions run especially high. I hope you always feel the love from your dear one in Spirit on your special days.
Update June 4, 2016: The autopsy results are in: Prince died from an accidental over dose of Fentanyl. Why is this important? Because opiate addictions are killing people at an unprecedented rate. New England is suffering the worst with a 40% increase in treatment for opiate overdose in Vermont in just ONE year. This is a must read article and video: Heroin in New England, More Abundant and Deadly
David Bowie, and now, Prince, wow! The last few months we have seen the passing of some of the most iconic talent of our time. It begs the question: What happens to celebrities when they die? Is Princess Diana still being hounded by the paparazzi in the hereafter?
Years ago, when I was first realizing my ability as a medium, I came on to the metaphysical scene totally uniformed. Maybe worse, I had been uninterested my entire life. At no point prior to my own “spiritual wake-up call” had I ever contemplated life after death or communication with deceased persons. I just assumed dead was dead. And I was fine with that.
Once my ability became so intense I could no longer ignore it, I began exploring. Looking back, I can tell you, my first experiences with the world of the paranormal were horrible. I mean, the absolute worst! A friend told me about her psychic that she had a “reading” with by email every few days. Ask a question for $10, get an email answer. She told me everything he said was true. Like, true as in written-in stone-by-God, true. And I was duped, big time.
In the month or two that I was trying to figure this phenomena out, this psychic was promoting a book written by one of his followers. The book was channeled by a so-called medium who claimed to have connected with one of the most famous musicians of all time.
“That’s so cool!” I thought. A celebrity can posthumously write a book! Then I heard about seances where mediums were connecting with Princess Diana. My curiosity was piqued. I loved her! I had missed the chance to meet her in real life, so attending a seminar with her spirit communicating posthumously sounded really intriguing.
A few weeks later, I emerged from the fog this so-called psychic had built around him and began connecting with real mediums. You know, the kind who brought me identifying evidence from my deceased brother which proved he was still connected to me. It was extremely enlightening and educational. Furthermore, it made sense to me.
All these years later, I now have a very good understanding of what creates a connection and makes the communication possible. The easy answer is love and relationships. Sadly, I'm not talking about the kind of love a fan has for a celebrity. I have also had the opportunity to connect with several souls who were “famous” in their own right while alive.
Earlier this week, during a session with a client, something unusual happened.
“I have a man here for you. I don’t think you’ve ever connected before. He’s giving me the name of Joe.”
“Yes,” she said. “That is my fiancee’s uncle and we just spoke of him, so you are correct, I didn’t know him in life, but I do know who he is.”
At the end of the session, my client informed me that “Joe” was a famous actor. She told me his full name, and I was absolutely astonished when I looked him up on the Internet. He had seemed like such an "average Joe" in his communication!
I’ve also done private sessions with music producers and members of famous bands who have connections with deceased celebrities. Here’s the catch: when someone comes to me for a session, I have no idea who they are, or who will be connecting from Spirit. And in all cases, I perceive a friend coming through, give good evidence about them, and at no point do I pick up that…wait for it…they were famous.
Deceased celebrities often had amazing talent, incredible creativity and daring personalities. But, on the inside, no human is different from another in the ways we love, communicate, appreciate and work through the ups and downs of life. Celebrities communicate to their friends and family who loved them, just like the rest of us "average Joes."
A few months ago, I was giving messages to a woman from her father who had passed and he mentioned he was with Frank. “Yes, that’s great," she said. “My father owned a nightclub and he and Frank were good friends.”
I’m talking about Sinatra here.
Woefully, Old Blue Eyes didn’t make a direct connection with me, but it was interesting, nonetheless!
These are just a few examples, but my experiences have been extremely consistent. Dead people “come through” to communicate with the living people they care about. I guess as a disclaimer I could add that sure, anything is possible, but if you have expectations of connecting with a famous celebrity you never knew, you might want to rethink the validity of that.
I hope when we get to Heaven we can still watch our favorite musicians perform, but I am not sure about that. What I am sure of, is that Souls are Souls….famous or not. Afterlife connections are about comfort, relationships, inspiration and love.
We will find out everything when we Break on Through to the Other Side….
In the meantime, I’ll be singing Raspberry Beret and reliving some favorite memories from when MTV was young. RIP, Prince. You turned our world upside down!
How well is your “trust” muscle working these days?
Feeling kind of weak from a lack of use? Or maybe it’s feeling strong from all that heavy lifting you’ve been doing?
Last week on my Facebook page I shared a picture with the words, “Every Soul has a unique plan and energy.” To me, that means that while our time on this Earth is deeply interconnected with others, we still have our own mission to fulfill and we must bring a one-of-a-kind energy (aka Soul) to accomplish that mission.
A young mother responded, her suffering nearly tangible. She wrote about her son who beat cancer two years ago, who was having another bone marrow test. She questioned the point of it all, and the existence of God. She wrote, "Life just really isn't fair." She went on to write that she had also recently suffered the loss of someone she loved dearly.
Her comments show the depth of her anger and pain. Understandably so; she has been experiencing hell on Earth for the last few years. And I agree whole-heartedly: Life is not fair. Not by a long shot!
In my years of doing work with bereaved persons I can tell you I have learned that life simply is what it is. It’s a big grab bag of good and bad. We will have both in varying degrees. Bad things will happen to good people and we all have opinions about someone who probably deserves a lot worse than they receive from the Universe. (politicians, ex-spouses, etc…)
This is where an opportunity presents itself. In the midst of these challenges, hardships and losses, we get to choose our opinion of them.
Option number one: Life isn’t fair! I don’t deserve this!
Option number two: Within the chaos is a plan for my Soul’s growth.
It’s tough. When you are down and defeated it is really hard to put your faith in a plan where you can’t read the fine print, like a real estate contract. There are theories aplenty about Soul contracts, fate, and our life lessons being something we chose for ourselves before we incarnate.
Let’s just forget the theories for one minute. Come back to reality and the present moment.
Think back through your life about some of the worst things you’ve been through.
(I’m pausing here….think. Think really hard.)
I have lived though 100% of everything I’ve been through. And I learned a lot along the way!
Yes, I am hereby stating I have a 100% success rate at living though life’s many challenges. My track record is flawless. I’m still breathing.
And so are you.
We all deal with anxiety and uncertainty in our lives. Those feelings escalate when the path isn’t crystal clear, when the road is rough and the destination, unknown. When feelings of anxiety and uncertainty rise up, I recommend a stop-drop-roll.
Stop whatever you are doing, and pause.
Drop your hand to touch nature and get grounded in the present moment.
Roll through past unpleasant experiences mentally, reminding yourself that you've lived though them all, and learned so much along the way.
Trust and faith are words that are interchangeable. Some think of faith as a more religious term, and that’s great. If you have faith that there is a God who has a plan for you, and it gives you strength, rely upon it! If you can trust that the experiences you are having are lessons that create a positive expansion in your Soul—then AMEN. Hallelujah!