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As you know, Tabs was a voracious eater. He earned every inch of that tum. I thought about this yesterday as I perused the shelves at HomeGoods.

I froze like an extra large tabby stalking a butterfly on a warm spring afternoon when I happened upon this end cap covered in kitty-themed bowls, dishes, mugs and knick-knacks.

Something tells me Monsieur Belly Meat’s spirit lives on in that hot pink cat bowl, which he would have loved.

Not all of the items were for kitties, though, because, cat ladies, you know HomeGoods also got your back. I was sorely tempted by the butter dish with the cat ears and the little kitty cat measuring cups.

Oh! — and the ceramic cat sponge holder!

I would have gotten all of the above, but I already have those kitchen needs filled, and I could hear Marie Kondo’s voice in my head saying, “Nuh uh,” to me…

I am 100% sure whoever is running HomeGoods is a cat person. Every time I go there there’s a cornucopia of cat lady stuff!

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Rise and shine, morning glory! I hope you slept well.

So, I received an invite this week to the San Francisco premiere and after party of a new Ali Wong (a.k.a. my doppelganger) movie coming to Netflix May 31. The movie’s called Always Be My Maybe, and it takes place in SF.

I wasn’t planning on going because 1) it’s on a Tuesday, which is a school night for me; and 2) it doesn’t start until 7…which for me is the equivalent of midnight.

I’m pretty sure I’d pass out!

I’m so not kidding either. These days I start turning into a pumpkin at 4 every afternoon. Lately, I’ve been eating dinner at 5, and then I shower and put on my pajamas by 6. By 8:30 I’m in the middle of my first REM cycle.

That’s just where I’m at in life right now…

As I was saying, I wasn’t going to go to the premiere, but I’m thinking about changing my mind now because it would be kinda funny to see how many people I could trick into thinking I’m Ali Wong.

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Need some faux flowers for a crafts project? How about an oversized LED flamingo? If you need something craftsy or DIY, check out Michaels, the combination craft supply store/inter-dimensional portal to an alternate reality where times as we know it does not exist.

Be warned, though: 5 minutes in a Michaels is like 8 hours in the outside world. In fact, after 15 minutes in a Michaels store…you may never actually leave; however, this danger is offset by all the weird treasures, including this children’s foot spa…

What, exactly, is so taxing to the feet of little children that they need a Calgon moment? 😂

Heck, though, if I were 8, I’d probably want one too…

GO SCIENCE

After a little googling, it turns out that the “Orbeez” in the name, “Orbeez Foot Spa,” refers to the colorful beads, and they’re a thing kids play with these days (who knew?).

The actual chemistry behind them is pretty cool. The beads are made from a super absorbent polymer, and when you add water, they grow from 100-300 times their original size.

I bet they do help tired arches, but there’s absolutely no freakin’ way I’m allowing one of these things in my home, because any time tiny, round things get set free in this #toddlerlife, it’s like Pandora’s Box.

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To the low-key genius who created these celebrity head notebooks I found at Marshalls…these are cool, but please make a Prince version. I’d also REALLY appreciate a Stevie Nicks one as well.

Either one would be great, but both would help me to live my best life. 😊

Thank you!

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

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A bouquet of fresh picked wildflowers for you, my friend, courtesy of the “floral artisans” at the local playground.

Translation: Connor and the other little girl she was playing with ran up and down every hill plucking every yellow flower in sight when we were at the playground the other day, and when I was handed the final bouquet, my first thought was, “Oh, this is so pretty. I wonder how many dogs have pee’d on these flowers.” 😂

Got a few things on my mind today that I wanted to chat with you about, including expanding my makeup knowledge with a couple of new books, and a snazzy styling tool that will forever change the way you see flat irons.

Also, there’s a healthy, yummy, easy chicken recipe at the end that I think everyone — even the pickiest eaters — will love. It’s so good that if Tabs were around, I’m sure he’d try to steal the food off my plate.

Y.U.M.

As I know you know, this last month I was reminded that life is blisteringly (and unfairly) short. To put it mildly, this has lit a fire 🔥 under my @ss, and now I want to learn as much as I can about anything and everything — all of my interests.

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I keep my nails super short and stubby nowadays, but back in the day I had me some eagle talons! 🦅💅

I’ve been thinking about Wolverine-like nails lately because I started watching this show on Hulu called Claws…

It’s about a group of ride-or-die Florida friends with criminal ties who work in a nail salon. There’s fierce female bonding, salon gossip and — oh, yeah: murder, money laundering, booty shaking and betrayal! (Of course.)

I mostly watch it for the nail closeups (well, it’s also pretty amusing)…

The characters wear elaborate, intricate nail designs on what literally look like claws.

The nail art is amaze-balls, but there’s absolutely no way I could have nails that long at this point in my life. I might have been able to swing it back in college or in my early 20s. That’s when my claws were at their longest, which was between half an inch and an inch beyond my fingertips. They were my natural nails, too, and pretty strong. And they grew fast.

I think something changed when I hit my 40s because my nails don’t grow anywhere near as fast now, and the sides split, which never used to happen.

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Good day, sunshine! ☀️🤗

Did that make you think of the opening lines to this song?

’tis a good day to celebrate love, so here are some of the things I’ve been loving lately…

1. This Serena & Lily French bistro-inspired kitchen

Now that’s a phrase I did not expect to ever see in print…because when have I ever thought that deeply about kitchens?

For the record, Serena & Lily is not a hip 20-something singer-songwriter duet. They’re a high-end furniture line kinda like a more streamlined, bougie-er Pottery Barn (as if that were possible). Think Crate & Barrel meets minimalist French country.

As I was flipping through their latest catalog, looking for design ideas, these cute kitchen scenes caught my eye…

THOSE BLACK AND WHITE BISTRO CHAIRS!

Now, I’m not normally a big wicker person (hard to clean, cat claws get caught in it, squeaks when you sit down), but I love the look of these chairs. They bring back so many memories of strolling the streets of Paris with El Hub (who was El Boyfriend at the time) and sipping strong cups of coffee at cute, cozy sidewalk cafes.

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It’s always funny to me to hear myself say this out loud: “Growing out your grays is hard.” Because it’s not like you’re running a marathon or anything. You’re literally just existing! But it really is difficult, and of the many challenges one endures when growing out their grays (and there are indeed many!), I think one of the hardest is adjusting to the new texture.

My grays have a completely different texture than the rest of my hair. They’re coarser, rougher, bumpier… LOL. I wish you could see this weird little hand wave move I just did with my left hand when I said “bumpier.”

Oh, Karen, you’re such a weirdo. 😂

As I was saying, I call my grays my “ramen noodle hairs” because the wiriest of the bunch look like a block of dry, crispy dehydrated noodles.

So…what’s up with that? According to Jay Kushner, Senior Stylist and Director of Stylist Education at Joseph Cozza Salon in San Francisco, “The texture change when trying to embrace your natural gray hair can be a bit of a challenge for most people…it manages differently. As we age, a reduction of melanin (the pigment which puts color in hair) and sebum (the moisturizing oil secreted from the scalp) can contribute to the hair becoming more dry, coarse and wiry.”

To help you tame your hair’s texture, Jay recommends using an oil-based shampoo, conditioner and mask, as they usually work well because they’re moisturizing, softening and smoothing, and he likes Iles Formula Shampoo ($35), Conditioner ($41) and Mask ($67).

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You know how when you get a new haircut, it takes a while for it to “settle in”? (I make it sound like moving into a new neighborhood or starting a new job, hahaha.)

But you know how there’s usually that period right after a new cut when you and the new hair are getting to know each other better on your way to eventually figuring each other out?

Well, mine’s finally settled in, and I love it.

It feels so great having hair graze my shoulders again and not feel like it’s just in the way. It’s also really nice to have an actual style again, too. I finally feel like my hair isn’t in transition to something or somewhere in the between stages. It’s like, finally! — I’ve made it to point B.

The style is called a long bob, or a “lob” for short. There’s a little bit of layering, but not a whole lot, and that’s on purpose. I have a slight wave on the top layers, and I know from having many, many terrible haircuts that if there are too many layers when my hair is shoulder length or shorter, I end up with an unintentional mullet.

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So…what is the Monday Poll?

Excellent question! It isn’t, contrary to its name, an actual poll, like with little clicky buttons. It’s just a list of five more or less random questions I’ve been posting on this blog every Monday morning for the past quadrillion years (since 2007). I love reading your answers, and it helps me get my week off to a good start.

    1. Eyeliner: liquid or pencil?

    Yes, please! I like both, and I can even do liquid liner when I’m in a hurry. (The secret is choosing the right pen, and Clinique’s Pretty Easy is the best IMO.)

    2. Have you ever had any immediate beauty regrets?

    Oh, all the time, like whenever I get a mani or pedi at a salon. Whenever I do, I immediately regret my choice of polish. Whatever I choose is always either too dark or too light, or too blue, or not blue enough…

    Sigh!

    It’s always something, and it happens so often that I just bring in my own nail polish color when I go now.

    I think it may have something to do with paying for the service?

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