Remember when we were in middle school and we’d take those Teen Magazine Quizzes on - if you were a popsicle, what kind of popsicle would you be and why?
(I was the crazy one with 20 colors and gum inside)
I’ve gotten a lot of feedback/questions on the past 2 blog posts about OVER doing it and UNDER doing it. People have been asking - KYLE! WHICH ONE AM I?!
Well guess what? I have a quiz for you to find out… You won’t find out which kind of popsicle you are, but you WILL learn valuable information for where you could use a little attention to have your career take off!
I’m a Gemini. My brain works in contradictions - it thinks this AND that - it sees the value in both sides of the spectrum. So to appease my Gemini brain that I love so dearly, I bring you a blog post on the OTHER side of the spectrum from my post last week about performers who are OVER DOING IT
Dear Eccentric Performer,
Do you have a sneaking suspicion the world is passing you by? Are you a procrastination QUEEN?! Do you have a shit ton of amazing ideas and thoughts and intuitions about the exciting things you want to do with your life… and SOME DAY you will do them?! You SWEAR SOME DAY you will do them… and then turns out “some day” looks more like you eating gummy bears on your couch at 2am watching the Golden Girls with half a bottle of white wine, scrolling through the instagram of everyone else doing the things you said you wanted to do so bad?
If so, THIS blog is for you
Some people in life are GREAT at doing things. They get so much done in a day they can make Beyonce look like… well, like Michelle. When those type of people are out of balance and doing too much, they pay with their BEING as stated in last week’s post. Other people are great at paying attention to their BEING (these people may be found lounging in hot baths listening to Enya with a single tear running down their face thinking how sad and beautiful the world can be). That’s you, my dear. You are GREAT at being in touch with your feelings, emotions, intuitions… the softer side of Sears. When YOU are out of balance… the DOING side of you suffers and you end up stagnate, a wee depressed/anxious about not having the things you want.
DOING THINGS IS SCARY
I get it. Doing things like GOING to auditions, CALLING your agent, CREATING that one man show you’ve been dreaming of, WRITING that script… it’s scary. It takes such bravery and willingness to fail. But guess what? SOME DAY NEVER HAPPENS. Now THAT’S scary. It never happens. You have to MAKE your some day happen cuz aint nobody gonna do it for you.
HOW DO I MAKE MY SOME DAY HAPPEN?!
1) Take all of your amazing BEING superpowers and infuse them into an idea that excites you more than you can handle. It should make your butt pucker in a good way.
2) Set a goal for yourself that is SMART:
Specific - It’s a real thing that can be seen in the real world that’s uniquely your own Measurable - There is a date/time/location set for when this will be a successful realityAccountable - A real life human is holding you accountable to doing these things (not just you)Resonant - It’s something that makes you feel more like YOU than anything Thrilling - You stay up at night thinking about it with excitement, and can’t wait to tell your friends all about itOK NOW YOU TRY!
This doesn’t work by thinking about it, reading another book on it, or praying on it over a blood moon my friend. This works by taking ACTION. Let you BEING inform your DOING and you get to HAVE what you want…
Let’s make it ACCOUNTABLE - Write down your SMART goal and email it to me. I double dog dare you. You deserve to live a balanced life - you deserve to have Enya in a bathtub AND the performing career you always dreamed of. It takes BEING and DOING… Now go DO IT!
Are you feeling worn down? Exhausted? Like… “Oh my god how could I POSSIBLY do another audition/show/networking event again? - My feet are tired, and my hair is a goddam mess. If I have to put on another cute outfit and fake a smile and say hello to one more person I’m going to actually throw my left shoe at someone’s face”? If so, this post is for you
Let me tell you something you may not expect to read on a life coach's blog.
So much of our modern culture is based on 1 equation: Do more, Get more
DO more at your auditions - GET more gigs, DO another class GET more success. DO another squat - GET buns of steel. Do more, BELT HIGHER, TURN FASTER oh and don’t forget to SELL IT HONEY! Now don't get me wrong, doing things and getting things is fantastic. There's nothing quite like the rush of doing something you didn't think you could do and getting amazing results from it.
But DOING things is only half of the equation - and over doing it is costing you dearly. The more you do, the more you get, so you can do more and get more and do more and get more and OH MY GOD somewhere along the way you did everything, GOT 20 face creams you don’t use, 2 herniated disks in your back and 0 sense of accomplishment, joy, or fun.
You’ve done EVERYTHING yet feel like you’ve got NOTHING
There is a missing piece in the DO - GET equation, friend
- ‘Scuze me what?
Take a deep breath - right where you are. Think of that thing you want more than anything - A lead on Broadway? A series regular? An audition for an amazing pilot?
Ask yourself 2 questions:
“To get what I REALLY want, who would it require me to BE?”inspired? playful? peaceful? excited? present? genuine? driven?
“If I were truly BEING those things… What would it require me to DO?”
BE - DO - HAVE
Who you are BEING in the face of your dream has as much to do with you having it as what you are DOING
“Yeah but Kyle, if I don’t DO things, I won’t get what I want!” CORRECT! And if you’re DOING all of those things BEING resentful, uninspired, inauthentic, silent, and anxious… Even if you GET what you want (good luck with that), you will never truly HAVE it. You will continue on the Do-Get spiral until you break
So, I feel you asking - How do I BE more?
You gotta feed it and encourage it to grow within you. What makes you FEEL inspired, or playful, or peaceful, or excited or present? Feed THOSE things in your life. Just for a bit, focus a little less on what you’re doing and a little more on your being (hint: they should feel like a RELIEF). Go take a damn bath surrounded by candles and listen to Indigo Girls, boo. Go hang out with your friends who inspire you and have a good laugh/cry. Make a list of the things you’re proud of that you’ve already accomplished and put that shit on your FRIDGE. The possibilities are endless.
When your BEING informs your DOING, then you can truly HAVE what you want without feeling like you’re going to lose your mind/throw shoes at faces
Go DO a little less, and BE a little more
Feel foreign? Sacrilegious even? I bet you have questions. Well I’m an EXPERT on this topic and I’ve guided many artists through this distinction
If you’re BEING curious about how I can help you - CONTACT ME and let’s chat!