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So, I’m back from my long blogging hiatus. I took a break primarily to focus on my law degree, trust me there will be more hiatus coming up. The second part of my long break is because, I can’t blog about anything, I haven’t been out, I was not able to respond to sponsors, and I’ve made a lot of life changes (but more on that later) which means, me not being able to do all the aforementioned stuff, equals no content.


For me to be able to continue giving out content, I need to re-adjust my future articles to fit my current lifestyle, and hopefully not interfere with my pursuit of a law career. Here are the new sub articles that you might come to expect in the years to come.



Going back to the roots of why this blog even exists, Men Style. i must admit I had a good 2-3 years where I just let myself go, and some of you might think Im being overly dramatic, but that period in my life destroyed my self esteem BIGTIME, I guess it’s true what they say “If you look good, you’ll feel good” The Gentleman Series explores everything relating Men Style such as; Fashion, Grooming, Etiquette, and Hacks.





I’ve always been fat, since I was born till now, although there was a time I actually got skinny, but anorexia is to blame so that doesn’t really count. At the start of 2019 I actually made a promise to myself that Id try my best to live healthier and try to loose weight the right way. This is a series of articles which follows my journey in doing so. Now I ain’t “there” yet, my target weight is 70kgs, Im currently at 80kgs, starting from 120kg. I wanted to do this so the people who’d like to give it a try can join me in my fitness journey. It will contain, tips, guides, of things that have worked for me and are still working for me.



I’ve recently had a taste for the finest things in life, but don’t exactly  have the finances to back it up. Inspired by my favourite blog ever, The Sosyal Network, and NO, Im not going to copy what they do as their brand of comedy is something only they can pull off. What it is are life tips, guides and etiquette to maximize what you have and live the best sosyal life that you can without [hopefully] breaking the bank. It takles finances, dealing with social dynamics, organizing events, and hacks every Yuppie should know.



This is a look at my life as a House Husband. As some already know, I’ve been taking tasks that a normal house husband does, and people ask me how I do stuff at home given my very busy schedule. So, This subdivision of Sky’s Not The Limit dives into hacks, tips, guides, life stories and recipes? I don’t know yet. I’ll make it up as I go.

Anyway, I’ve seen the stats and  read the emails. I'am forever thankful that despite my absence people are still reading my articles. I will continue to provide quality articles that hopefully everyone will enjoy. Watch out for my uploads soon.
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When you’ve been in a lot of relationships, you begin to understand that there are no such thing as a perfect relationship, in fact,  you have to work hard to make things perfect for the both of you. Of course the people who are currently wearing their love goggles or in the honeymoon phase are to contest this, that’s because these people are often blinded by their love . But in time once the love goggles wears out, you’ll realize who your partner really is. 

We are all humans and are therefor flawed, while it’s nice to say that the person we love doesn’t care about our flaws, the same is only true if we are aware of these flaws but are just willing to look past it. 

These are some of the Boyfriends/Girlfriends that you may encounter in your lifetime (or you could be one of these) and how to make it work, if it’s worth saving.


These are the partners who are way hot, but sorely lacks in the intelligence department. We usually enter in this kind of relationship primarily for bragging rights, aesthetic purposes, and/or voyeuristic intentions. We use our no-no parts to do the thinking for us, and our no-no parts are way into the looks that you tend to oversee the reality of his/her IQ.


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How to Make it Work: We have to qualify as there are two types of dumb people, the humble dumb and the obnoxiously stupid. 

A humble dumb is someone who never claims to be smart nor does he or she act like one. If you’re with a humble dumb, don't fret, it’s workable as they’re pretty harmless. People are complex beings, try to focus on their other qualities, are they hard working? are they super kind? are they family oriented? I’m sure they have other qualities you’d love.


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An obnoxiously stupid partner, is someone who thinks and acts like they’re smart but in reality anything that comes out of their mouth are destructively dumb. Just dump the jerk, it’s hard to argue with this kind.


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They’re not smart, nor kind, nor good looking, nor loving, nor hard working, and offer absolutely nothing to the relationship, literally. You wouldn’t want to date one of these losers. The thing with the WTF is that they have this ability to get you to fall in love with them regardless of their many many flaws. Once you’re smitten, all his/her BS are practically invisible to you. You often will carry the load of the relationship. These are the people who are only your partner when it’s convenient for them. They don’t make the time and the effort to be a good partner. You’ll know them if they are only present if it benefits them, most commonly during a bootycall (ouch!) 


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How to Make it Work: Dump the jerk, you’re better of single



Are you in a relationship where your partner has control over your every single move? if yes then you’re with The Parent. These partners try their best to change who you are as a person and has the ability to decide whether or not you can go out with your friends or go to a party you were invited, and the likes. They're always on you with eagle's eye and can get pretty obsessive towards your every move


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How To Make it Work: While people often say “Nakakasakal sila” you have to understand that they are the way they are for a reason and that’s because of their trust issues. Don’t take offense if they don’t trust you it’s probably a product of his/her past or your own doing as well, If you love the person, try your best to abide, as it's pretty harmless to begin with, till such time that they actually trust you fully.




These are the type of people you won’t believe exists, TGTBT stands for Too Good To Be True. They’re hot, they’re smart, they’re kind, they’re active, they’re caring, and everything you'd want in a partner. They're the whole package! While it seems ideal to have this kind of partner, it can be a lot of work. It’s hard not to feel inadequate, or inferior when you’re with a TGTBT so tendency is you go about trying your best to keep up, overcompensate on yourself and get tired doing it.

How To Make It Work: This is a YOU problem not theirs. If you feel inadequate or inferior because of your partner’s strengths and over all personality, you have to realize that they chose you, they love you for who you are. There’s nothing wrong with changing yourself for the better but if your reasons are because of insecurities, quit it hon, He/she loves you just the way you are



These are the asses of society, the ones who just can’t keep their no-no parts for themselves. They are always out in the wild, acting like a predator to anyone dumb enough to fall for his/her BS. It is probably the hardest relationship to be in specially if you’re way in too deep while your partner is chasing other people. 


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How To Make it Work: It is true that there are people capable of change, but there are those who just can’t keep his/her hands to theirselves, if you are with someone willing to change, you can’t do anything but to let them prove themselves worthy. However if you’re stuck with someone who can never change, just get out! dump his/her sorry ass.


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The Needy, also called obsessive, and clingy, is the most common type of partner out there. Don’t be sexist fellas, contrary to popular belief, guys can be needy too, while the women in this category needs their partner for attention, love and support, the men in this category are emotionally reliant and constantly seeks validation through their partners. While the needy works for some, some find it a tad annoying.


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How To Make it Work: Understand the cause, there’s always a reason why people are the way they are. They might be needy because they’ve longed for someone to love, or because they are a bit insecure, or maybe because they simply think that’s the way every couple should be because of its common nature. Start from the cause, from there you can start to build a better, healthy relationship




My personal favorite type of partner, the ride or die, this is the partner who will stay with you no matter what. These are supportive and admiring partners that are for keeps. If you have one, don’t let them go, in a world full of selfish, entitled people, it’s quite rare to find one.


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How To Make it Work: Just take very good care of them, reciprocate the support and the love given. These type of people eventually tires when their efforts are not being reciprocated. 



They commonly say opposites attract and the belief is not without a just source. We often find ourselves falling in love with someone who is different from us, because they represent or embody someone we wish we were, or they have the qualities that are best suited to ours. The Opposite is a partner who is different from you. There could be two common problems in this relationship, either non-stop arguments, or like the TGTBT you'll find yourself trying to change who you are just to match that of your partner.


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How To Make it Work: Remember this, you should never change who you are just to impress anyone, if you’re feeling the pressure to keep up or to be at the same wave length as your partner, chances are he/she is feeling the same way too. It’s all about accepting and respecting your partner and the differences between the two of you. 

As far as arguments are concerned, that is a normal thing specially to people with clashing ideologies, the only thing to do here is to respect one another and to allow some minor adjustments to happen.



This is the person all your friends hate, he/she has the ability to disguise him/herself as a very kind and well rounded person, but the truth of the matter is, he/she is entitled, obnoxious and pompous towards others. You just can’t see it because he/she puts on this persona and locks you up in a bubble of love, respect, and generosity, but once that bubble pops, my dear, you are screwed.


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How To Make it Work: Again, I believe that people are the way they are for a reason, and that no one is innately bad. I suggest talking to them regarding their issues. I know a lot of people dating a douche, and they know it, but they don’t talk about it or try to fix it, probably because it doesn’t affect them personally, but dear, eventually it will.


This is the partner who we all have heard off, that partner who seems perfect, but has this ONE HARMLESS QUIRK that is sort of a turn off or annoying to some. I.e. obnoxious laugh, terrible social skills, farts a lot, emits weird sounds, etc. Their quirks as harmless as they come, but can rub off some people the wrong way.


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How To Make it Work: You do nothing, if this person really is perfect for you with the exemption of his/her one quirk, then just let it be, chances are you’re not the perfect partner for him/her either. Just call it quits and live happily ever after 

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At the end of the day, the most important thing is love, as flawed humans, we cannot expect things to be perfect for us all the time, so my only advice: As long as there's love there, and both are willing to work for it, go ahead, we wish you all the best


YOU CAN FOLLOW ME AND CONTACT ME AT MY SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS


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Being a Tito is both a curse and a privilege, It's a sign of maturing with the many responsibilities that comes with it. So are you ready to find out if you're a tito? Here are some signs to know if you're a tito.

1. Your Choice of Drinks Changes


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You find yourself going after the stronger alcohols like scotch, whisky, and rum. People who mixes it makes you laugh, and people who drink red horse is pitiful


2. You Prefer Drinking At Home


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Why go out in a loud and crowded place where you are restricted to act in a mannerly fashion, just drink at home with your compadres and speak as loud as you can

3. You’re the Go To Person for Advices


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Titos are wise, experienced human beings, that’s why people often go to you for advice

4. You always visit the Hardware stores


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Let’s face it you’re a tito if everytime you go to the mall you always stop by the hardware store, and knows the difference between a flat and philips.

5. You know the Lyrics to All Pinoy Tambay Songs

When you can sing a song drunk without mistakes, you’ve definitely mastered the lyrics. Common tito songs are from Parokya ni Edgar, Eraserheads, and Rivermaya.

6. Your Social Media Activity is Limited only to One


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If may have a ton of social media accounts from when you were younger but now your social media activity is limited only to 1 social media outlet, commonly facebook, cause who needs IG, twitter, snapchat and the likes when you can do everything in one site

7. Car is life


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If you are a single tito, your car is your life. You love to drive around, clean and maintain your car, so much so that if someone scratches it, they’re in for one hell of an argument

8. You’d Prefer to Stay at Home


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Have you ever said no to an invitation simply because you wanted to stay home, congratulations my friend, you are a tito

9. Sleep is important


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As a tito, there’s nothing you value more than the ability to sleep, you don’t care if your friends are still up chatting on facebook, or out and about at 11pm, you need to sleep cause tomorrow is another day.


10. You Enjoy Dad Jokes

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One tito trait whose charm easily wears out. For some reason they are huge fans of cheesy dad jokes, these are jokes so cheesy sometimes it can be funny but often are humorous only to those who spit it.

YOU CAN FOLLOW ME AND CONTACT ME AT MY SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS




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Sky's Not the Limit by Khloee Padilla - 10M ago

This one has gained a lot of popularity 3 years ago but is still in style today. Therefore I took it upon myself to learn how to make this, and so I did, now let me share to everyone how they can make one themselves



  • Cardboard
  • Scissors
  • Xcto Knife
  • Glue Gun
  • Spray Paint (Optional)
You also need to download a deer head template, readily available at google images (Or use this one). Once you have your photo use Photorazor or any site or app that can blow up a small photo for printing.


Step 1: Print your template then cut them out


Step 2: Trace your template on your cardboard, then cut it out


Step 2: Assemble your pieces, you may use glue gun to secure each piece


OPTIONAL Step 4: if you wish to paint it you may cover the cardboard holes with glue gun streaks


OPTIONAL Step 5: Paint it


AND YOU'RE DONE!


I have a stock cardboard and glue sticks so basically all I spent are 100php for the spray paint

  • It's so easy to do, the hardest part probably is the cutting of the cardboard which is so time consuming but once you're done with that, you'll swift through the entire project.
  • I've also done a unicorn one for KhaleesiTheDiva's Birthday pawty but I was not able to take a photo. You can do a lot of these as long as you can find a template for it online. I saw a giraffe, lion, and rhino once.


Thank you so much for sticking with me till the end, I love to challenge so much, I'd love to do it again, and I'm currently redecorating my room/home office so there sure is plenty more to come. If you like this DIY make sure to visit my previous DIY Traveler's "I was here" corkboard


YOU CAN FOLLOW ME AND CONTACT ME AT MY SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS

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As all my avid readers might know, I’m doing all LGBT related articles for this month in celebration of pride month. Since father’s day is also on the same month, I figured I should share how it all went down with my dad and how I came out. If you are an LGBT+ like me you’re sure to relate to this, if you’re a heterosexual, thank you for keeping your mind open in reading this. There’s a special message to all Dads with Gay Sons at the ending of this story so be sure to check it out if you are one.

Why I Concealed

Being bisexual, it was a bit easier for me to conceal the side of me that loves the same gender, I had genuine girlfriends publicly and had genuine boyfriends behind closed doors. You see I’ve always championed myself as someone who is true to himself, I never lied to anyone (Except my family but more on that later) people always ask me “my girlfriend ka ba?” or “sino crush mo?” but have never asked me directly if I like men too, so whenever I answered truthfully people just assume I claim to be straight, I know shady right? but hear me out.

Deep inside I’ve knowingly hid my attraction to the same gender for many reasons. Firstly, I always demand respect as much as I give it out, I understand that coming out would make me lose the respect I worked so hard to gain because of how people see the LGBT Community as second class citizens and only see us in this comedic light that no one ever takes us seriously thus incapable of gaining respect. I was raised to be an Alpha, all Padillas are, it’s like a mater of pride for us to always be the Alpha, and I knew that if I came out, my gender identity would be used as a weapon against me which then, I’m not prepared to take on effectively losing my Alpha status. (I know it’s a pride thing but it is our identity)

Secondly, I was raised to believe that being homosexual is bad, I even remember my grandma telling me “it’s sad to be gay, you wouldn’t have a family to be with, you will be all alone, no one will love you” this warning while ridiculous was effective, it made me scared to come out. I was always being punished whenever I begin showing feminine attributes, and is often made fun of by my own family. I was made to believe that being homosexual would bring shame to my family, which made me even more determined to hide it since I cant really do that to them, I love my family so much and hurting them was not an option

Lastly, I’m the only son, like literally the only one who is destined to carry the “Padilla” surname for generations to come. My dad’s half brothers, all had daughters, and I’m the only son left to carry the dynasty. This leaves a lot of pressure on my shoulders, as mentioned earlier, our clan is quite prideful. I then thought that settling down with another man would be detrimental to the hopeful continuation of the Padilla pride. 

How I Came Out

Everyone simply assumed I was gay because of the way I act, and talk so it was a bit easier to come out to the public. While I did have boyfriends in the past, I only officially came out to my friends, not less than 5 years ago, upon me finally entering into a serious relationship with this wonderful guy that I’m still with till this very day. When I told my friends, mostly heterosexual men, I kinda prepared myself for a lot of F.O.’s (Friendship Over) but to my surprise most, if not all were so accepting and loving, they welcomed my confession with open arms and supportive acts. I was living my best life, nothing changed, the respect that I had remained, people didnt abandon me, and everyone was taking me seriously still. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by such people, this made me a lot more confident to embrace who I am. 

However my luck is didn’t last as long as I begin to experience some prejudices that came with being a homosexual outside college, people who didn’t know me in a deeper level categorized me in a stereotype that irks me till this very day, and it is as if all my fears have came to fruition, specially with people I just met. I must admit it disheartened me a lot, I begin losing confidence in myself, I begin trying to hide who I was once more, and starts questioning my descision to come out in the first place. I became so anxious as all the reasons why I hid it proved to be true. 

One day, in class, I contemplated on life and how hard it is, I looked at my professor and said to myself “Well, he’s openly gay, and yet people respect and look up to him, what is it about him that makes him so strong and dignified? is it his position? is it his family name? was it all his accomplishments?” then it dawned on me, the solution to my problem has been in front of me all along, I just needed to bring out my inner Alpha. This professor though openly gay is respected because he’s the very definition of an Alpha, a strong, independent, intelligent, and dignified person. 

So I tried my best to represent, I started studying hard to be respected in the academe (debatable), I exchanged my young and reckless lifestyle to focused and determined, I became responsible and more mature (again debatable). I’m doing all my responsibilities left and right, tried to accomplish impossible feats just to prove everyone that I am not just a homosexual, that I am a homosexual who can do amazing things, and not for long I became the boss b*tch that I’am meant to be and was able to command respect just by my attitude. 

While it was all starting to get good, and I’m getting the validation I so pathetically crave, there’s still the issue of my family not knowing who I am. A huge part of why I hid my sexuality for a very long time was because of them, I fear that my if my family were to find out, it will bring them shame, so much so that I even considered just ending my life once they find out to spare my self of all the hate from the people I care about most.

Hi I’m Josh, Your Son

It was a Wednesday, me and Jeff were on a break. I was heading to a friend’s birthday party, when I received a message from my dad, that says “… I’m mad because you are in a relationship with another guy” then everything around me stopped, the time, the traffic, the music that’s playing on the radio, it felt like the whole world just stopped. “This is it, this is it, my worst nightmare came true, they know” I kept on repeating to my self. I was in a state of shock and couldn’t move a muscle, when I was able to, I parked my car in a nearby bank, and just sat there for hours. Debating within myself whether to deny or admit it, weighing the pros and cons of each paths.

I calmed myself down and mustered up all my strength, I decided to just tell him the truth. But before that, being the extremely organized, well planned out guy, I made a few phone calls first. I checked all my finances, asked a friend if I could stay with him if should I need to, made a packing list, and budgeted all my possible expenses, this is so that I’ll be prepared if they decide to disown me. 

You see when a son is born, the father will automatically envision a life for his son, a life which will someday carry out his legacy, having to know that his only son will not be the son he envisioned is tough to most fathers, that’s why fathers are the hardest to accept when their son is gay. I explained the whole situation, I cried as I tell my father “yes dad, I am in a relationship with another guy” I explained every single detail, how it wasn’t a choice, how I feel, how I manage to keep the prejudices away, how I plan to still carry out the name, how this is not a disability, how I am still the same old Josh that they raised and how I understand his emotions towards that knowledge. At last I concluded my long message with “...I am still your son, I will always be your son, no matter if you hate me, or disown me, I will always be your son” He did not reply.

I went to my friend’s party since I badly needed a drink, at the time I didn’t tell them what was going on since I didn’t wanna steal the birthday boy’s thunder. So I plastered a smile on my face, but some problems are just way to big to hide, so I decided to just leave early rather than to ruin someones party. With nowhere to go to, I called up some of my high school friends if they could meet me at my favorite bar, and so they did. I told them everything and helped me out with my "Operation: Disowned Child” plans. 

As I was about to order my 4th mango daiquiri, my phone lit up. and it was a message from my dad, and I quote roughly “It’s ok son, I’m just scared for your well being, I’ve heard a lot of stories on how people treat people like you, I always want what’s best for my children, and if that is who you are, I support you, it is my life’s mission to make sure that my children can accomplish their dreams, I’am your father after all” I held my tears because of the robot that I am, but my friends could tell I was holding up my tears. I couldn’t in all my power reply all I could say is “Thank you daddy, I will make you proud somehow, love you"

I went home and excitedly showed my sister me and dad’s conversation, my sister was touched of how supportive our dad is with it. When it came to my mom, well we had a similar conversation not long after on our way home from Baguio.

The Aftermath

Coming out was probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, I feel so liberated and free. Like a huge weight has lifted off of me. Now everybody knows who I really am, and that makes me happy. From hiding in the shadows to now using the platforms I’m blessed with to be vocal about issues that the LGBT Community is facing today. I’am happier and stronger than ever before, I can finally share my life stories with everyone and express my real thoughts to anyone without any hesitations. 

A Message to all Dads with Gay Sons

I have been lucky, some might even call it privileged with how my story went, but not a lot of people in the LGBT+ Community are as lucky as I am. Many face more depressing conclusions like being disowned, thrown out to the streets, forced to hide who they are, and even suicide. As the father, you are the toughest person your son can ever come out to, because of the expectations that you have upon us, while it is not your fault, it is nonetheless difficult. 

Once your son opens up to you about his sexuality, it shows courage, strength, respect and love. Coming out to a father about one’s homosexuality musters up a lot of courage, it is not something that is done in jest nor casually.  We always and forever will look up to our dads, as our support system, as our hero, as our savior, and as someone who loves us unconditionally (even if sometimes dads are emotionally distant) So please don’t shun nor disapprove your son when he comes out. I understand that it must be tough to handle let alone understand, but you should always try to be accepting and loving as it is your duty to protect your child not to further throw them into the ground. The world out there is already tough as it is for the LGBT Community, having the uneasy feeling of danger and unwelcoming vibes inside the “safety” of his own house can lead to serious permanent damages to ones being. 

Studies have shown that LGBT related suicides are often caused by their parents disapproval of their sexuality. So if you truly love your son, try to understand them, help them in the real world, protected them from harm, and nurture them, I assure you, you’ll be glad you did, maybe not now, but most likely in the future. 

____________________________________


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Kids, the story of how I met your father, started all the way back in 2012. We first saw one another at Mcdonalds when your uncle Aster introduced your father to our college political party as a potential candidate for student council elections. At the time I was distancing myself from the party since there has been a lot of drama inside which I no longer want to be a part of, it’s safe to say that I wanted to leave that party then, so I didnt really acknowledge your father’s presence, instead I sat at the adjacent table near them with my other colleagues.  However we did exchange glances occasionally but really didn't bother talking to each other.  

I decided to stay at the political party as my deep passion to actually make a change and not abandoning my friends whom I call my family in college was stronger than the stress it caused me. So the second time I saw him was at a political party training, where I realized something about your father, he had a lisp, so in my head he was “the guy with the lisp” since I didn’t really took the time to actually know him.

He then started flirting with my then friend, so we did forcibly became acquaintances, and the running gag of me and your father becoming “boyfriends” somehow caught on. So we called each other “boyfie” despite knowing very little about each other. Then we discovered he was flirting with various of people.  



This piece of information did not however bother my friend then. Since she basically is after one thing only, since you’re both still too young, and I don’t want Google demonetizing this post let’s just say she’s after “playing patty cakes” with him. Anyway...

At the summer of 2013 I was courting this wonderful person who is one of my best friends. Me and my best friend was having "the talk” on where the relationship might go, this happened on top of a roof at our friend’s rest house. Now you can choose to believe this part, but I swear it happened. There was a shooting star that came across the sky that night, and all I wished was “I wish to be happy with an awesome lovelife" hoping that my best friend was the one. Unfortunately just after making that wish, she informed me that she just wants to stay friends. In my head I was like “damn you shooting star you psyched me”. Im not going to lie kids, this did broke my heart, so to mend it, I went back to who I was before all of this. I went to bars every single night and "played patty cake” with a lot of people. 



While I was busy "playing patty cakes”. my then friend finally had enough of your father’s flirty ways, so she enlisted my help to get even, our plan was then simple, I make your papa fall inlove with me, then break his heart on his birthday to teach him a lesson. I agreed to this since Im pretty good at wearing my heart on my sleeves, I was a horrible person then and I did want to help my friend. 

So the plan went on, I sent flirty and suggestive texts, as he did as well, and we went on dates, we’d travel home together since we’re both from QC. I did learn a lot about him and started to grew fond of him. 

There was a time when as we were traveling home, in my sister’s car that I borrowed. The song "Passenger Seat” played on the radio, then I felt something, like a little spark, so to speak. The song just sent shivers (the good kind) into my whole body and the car went silent for a long time. We jokingly talked about what happened, he told me that he was “kinilig” and couldn’t move due to extreme kilig, this was weird since I felt the exact same way. I wanted to back out of the plan because of fear that I might actually fall in love, and I couldn’t let that happen because, one, I was happy playing patty cakes with other people, two, I was being courted by another person who I must admit did actually had a chance with me and three, I know that it’ll hurt my friend’s feelings. So I started to back away little by little and lived my best life.

Then my friend started flirting and kissing with your father again, which confused me, she wanted me to make this guy pay for being a slut, but every chance she’d have to flirt and kiss with him, she’d take. So I completely just left the plan hanging. Since I too was starting to develop feelings.

There was this one night when your uncle Aster called me and asked me if Im available for drinks, I said yes and he went all the way to QC to meet me and some of his friends for a drink. At the bar, your uncle Aster wanted me to sit next to your father, but I didn’t, I sat next to your uncle. Aster then whispered to my ear “Feeling ko bet ka niya” (I think he likes you) to which I joking said “lahat naman bet ako ee” (doesn't everyone?) and he was like “No, like bet na bet” (No, he more than likes you). 

The night went on and I can feel everyone trying to ship us, even your uncle’s friends who I just met was really pushing it. I looked at your father with the question in my head that says “why not?” he looked at me as if he was trying to say something but we just played coy the entire night

That night had me thinking, “we can’t be together, we just can’t” I said to myself “we’re too very different people, he’s optimistic, happy go lucky, carefree guy and Im this pessimist, plan-everything, career oriented robot”. Then I received a text from him that says the three most impactful yet simple words “I love you” and all my thoughts went blank, and allowed myself to just fall in love.

On the 10th of May 2013 we finally made things official. Of course we went to a lot of the typical couple stages like The Honeymoon Phase, the "We’re Forever" Phase, the "We’re the best couple" phase, the cat and mouse phase, everything.

 We lived together as early as our 2nd month anniversary. It was a bittersweet situation, as we learned more negative stuff about each other than positive. I learned that he was lazy, and just prefer to stay in bed with his phone which is one of my pet peeves, we’d often fight about chores and the works, I make him buy stuff from the grocery just to get his behind out of bed, which also causes a lot of issues and he learned that I’m obsessed with dogs, and he hates dogs, like madly afraid of dogs.



But we each learned to adjust. I became less bossy, he started being pro-active in our political party, and we learned to share chores amongst many. But the thing I loved the most, is when he understood how much dogs mean to me and how much I want one, as soon as I was given you guys, your father adjusted from being scared and apathetic about dogs to someone who loves you just as much as I do.

For two years we lived out of 711 chicken, small condo, iced coffee from mcdo, and PallMall for me (I mean come on PallMall? seriously?) for we were way too young then, so money was a problem, specially since the relationship was not yet made known to our parents. What remained constant was our love for one another, I guess maybe that was the enabling force that pushes us to survive despite everything we’ve gone through.

During our second year mark, this was the time when we started to enter the real world, had our first jobs, got lost in a sea of entry-level people, and got a taste of what it’s really like to be out there. This took a toll on the relationship. we lived back with our respective parents, and our relationship kinda withered down from there, we seldom talk, we hardly text and we never go out together, we just have the occasional sleepovers. At the third year mark is when it all went down, your father made, what he now calls the biggest mistake of his life, which ended the relationship for a good 6 months.


Here’s the thing about love kids, if it’s true, it’s true, it may disappear at times but it will always come back to you.  We got back together and worked hard to fix what we once have, and I have to say, it was one of the most challenging things I’ve personally done but my mantra at the time was, as long as both of us are willing to work for it, as long as there is love, as long as we both think we’re end game, we can do it, and we were able to do it. We got the romance back and was better than we’ve ever been. It was like the 6 months we were apart only gave us the opportunity to mature independently and come back stronger as a unit. A lot of couples experience the good and the bad in every relationship, but not everyone survives the bad, which is why I’m proud of our history as we were able to overcome a lot of bad things and came out the other side stronger than ever. We even got engaged on our 5th year mark, but more on that later.

There are plenty of reasons why I love your father, I love the way he shields me from the sun when my allergies are acting up, I love how he kisses me before going to work and when he arrives, I love how he hugs me when I’m anxious, I love how he supports and believes in my ideas no matter how insanely crazy they are, I love how he snores which makes me feel not alone when I’m studying all night, I love how he always has a positive outlook in life  and most of all, I love how he takes care of me and he loves me.

“Love is just friendship that caught fire” they say. I look back and realize a lot of things that led us to today, like if your father and I weren’t the sluts we were back then, we wouldn’t even become friends, if I haven't had my heart broken I wouldn’t have been a slut, and if I left the political party I wouldn’t have met the person who would change my life forever, but most of all I realized how funny the shooting star made my wish come true. I asked to be happy in a specific situation but instead made me happy in another situation. My wish to become happy and have an awesome love life came to fruition without me even realizing it.

I’m happy and thankful for all the experiences, troubles, heartaches, triumphs and failures that we’ve went through, were it not for any of those, I would have never met the most amazing, most loving, most caring person I ever have, I would never feel the love I once was so thirsty for, and I would never be with the person who eventually will become my man for the rest of my life. 



HEY! Thanks for sticking with me till the end of the story. As you all know, I'm doing an all LGBT related articles for the month of June. If you want to know more you can check out these articles I've previously published...




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The right thing to do, the smart thing to do

Back in 2015 people were outraged by the denied access of a transgender fashion designer at a high end club in Taguig. What I remember most about the situation was a statement made by my professor, who is admittedly gay as well, he said, and I roughly quote “That’s the problem with the LGBT community, they keep on asking for SPECIAL TREATMENT.” In my head I was shouting “HOW DARE YOU! for someone who belongs to the community, you should know better” but instead I raised my hand and asked as politely as I possibly can “But sir is it really asking for special treatment, if you’re simply asking permision to be yourself? I mean, the main idea of “asking permision to be yourself” seems ridiculous and devaluating in all angles”. The professor then answered back “But you have to abide by the rules, specially since that is a private establishment, it’s special treatment because what he is asking is to be excused from the rules, there are certain articles of clothing for boys”. Again in my head I was like “THATS THE POINT I'm 100% sure she doesn’t see herself as a boy, she sees herself as a woman obvi” but since I’m dealing with a person of authority to send me to the discipline’s office and have my Certificate of GMC be blocked, in effect I couldn’t apply to lawschools, I couldn’t in all my power debate in my full rage and disgust, so I just kept my mouth shut.

People often become hypocritical and judgmental as suppose to loving and accepting when dealing with the LGBT+ Community, and while the Philippine Constitution does have laws that protect human rights, there are  no specific provision on criminalizing acts done against someone’s sexual orientation and gender identity and there’s no state-governed body that monitors all the attacks on LGBT people. It’s disproportionate, and there are a lot of hate crimes against trans-people and kids who get kicked out of their schools and families because they’ve come out.

The SOGIE (Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity or Expression) Equality Bill, also known as the Anti-Discrimination Bill (ADB), is a proposed legislation of the Congress of the Philippines. It is intended to prevent various economic and public accommodation-related acts of discrimination against people based on their sexual orientation, gender identity or expression. In 2017, the House bill (No. 4982), as filed in 2016 by Rep. Geraldine Roman (and merged from multiple similar bills), passed 3rd reading for the first time since 2001 with 198 members of the House of Representatives voting for the bill and none opposing it. The counterpart bill in the Senate, filed by Senator Risa Hontiveros, was in the period of interpolations by May 2018. It was opposed by Senator Tito Sotto and the Christian Coalition for Righteousness, Justice and Truth led by Eddie Villanueva who believes that the passage of the SOGIE Equality Bill may lead to the legalization of same sex marriage.

Feinstein found that negative attitudes toward homosexuality were directly predictive of discrimination and future social anxiety and depression. He also discovered that the participants who reported gender nonconformity in childhood were more likely to report discrimination later in life. Although these findings were reported by the majority of the participants, they were more significant among the gay men than among the lesbians. In general, it appeared that the participants who felt victimized in childhood were more likely to anticipate rejection in adulthood. This was especially true if they experienced parental rejection in childhood. Additionally, early homonegativity and rejection led to negative feelings about the participants’ sexual orientation in adulthood.

Studies show found gay and lesbian young people are four times more likely to contemplate or attempt suicide, compared with the general population, while trans youth are ten times more likely to do so.These statistics represent untold personal tragedies for the individuals concerned; but they also reflect a senseless waste of human potential on a grand scale. Every trans youth thrown out of home or forced to miss out on an education is a loss for society. Every gay or lesbian worker driven to leave their job or even their country is a lost opportunity to build a more productive economy.

On a range of social and economic indicators, LGBT people, especially lesbians and transgender people, tend to fare poorly compared with the general population. Studies in multiple countries have found rates of poverty, food insecurity and joblessness to be elevated in the LGBT community. At a macro level, the cost to a country’s economy can be counted in the billions. According to a pilot study conducted for the World Bank last year, discrimination against the LGBT Community could be costing that country’s economy up to $32 billion a year in lost economic output.
Part of the solution lies with the government, new laws and policies are needed to protect LGBT people from unfair, inhumane, and abusive treatment. The government should serve their people’s best interest, self preservation and protection must be at their utmost priority. For now, we can only hope that the government opens their hearts and minds to the issues the LGBT+ Community is facing today, however foreign these issues maybe to them, it is existing and is actually detrimental to our society.
The right thing to do, the smart thing to do
___________

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___________
References:
  1. Arias, J. Debunking Some Misconceptions About the SOGIE Equality Bill, Preen Inquirer, 2018
  2. Aglipay-Villar, E. et al. SOGIE Equality Bill, HB 4982, (2017)
  3.  Colcol, E. "House OKs SOGIE Equality Bill on final reading". GMA News, (2017)
  4. Feinstein, BA., et al. The relationship between experiences of discrimination and mental health among lesbians and gay men: An examination of internalized homonegativity and rejection sensitivity as potential mechanisms. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology (2012)
  5. Radcliff C. The real cost of LGBT discrimination, World Economic Forum, (2016)


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“It is about time that the Philippine government grant couples, whether they are of the opposite or the same sex, adequate legal instruments to recognize their partnerships, respecting their dignity and recognizing their equality before the law,” -Alvarez et al.

Gay marriage is a controversial issue in the Philippines as marriage has been recognized as the social union between a man and a woman as further stipulated in the Family Code. In recent times, same sex relationships are slowly gaining acceptance, as the LGBT community  have become vocal in fighting for our right to marry. While the majority of the population believes that the legalization of gay marriage will have negative impact on the society, the LGBT community claim that it is against basic civil rights to prohibit us from marrying.

There are rights that are solely afforded to couples of the opposite sex when contracting a marriage, rights that are just as purposive to same sex couples as they are to opposite sex couples. Rights such as, but not limited to; property regime, inheritance rights, insurance memberships, adoption privilege, hospital and prison visitation rights, declaring your partner as beneficiary and special power of attorney. While it is true that there are other legal approaches that same sex couples may undertake to legitimize their union, albeit in a lesser and more limited extent, it would be against our constitutional human right of equality to deprive us of the same rights and to treat us as 2nd class citizens.  Section 1 Article III of the Philippine Constitution states;

"SECTION 1. No person shall be deprived of life, liberty, or property without due process of law, nor shall any person be denied the equal protection of the laws.”

The real heart of the contentions against same sex marriage lie on the legality, morality, and misunderstanding of what homosexuality is. Firstly, morality is a collective of concepts, principles and beliefs by which an individual determines whether his or her actions are right or wrong. It is these concepts, principles and beliefs that are commonly the focus of arguments for and against the issue. Because everyone is brought up to believe and hold valuable different things, it is most difficult to say in moral terms what is right and what is wrong. The determination of what is right and wrong is what we rely on our legal system to provide, since often, we cannot agree in moral terms. 

Legally speaking, There is no absolute prohibition against legitimizing civil unions between two Filipinos of the same sex. The 1987 Philippine Constitution, does not in any way discriminate nor prohibits same sex marriage. Thus, the Philippine Constitution does not impede against legalizing same-sex marriage in the Philippines and whatever legal impediments against the former can be fixed by the legislation.  We just need an enabling law for same-sex couples to be afforded the same rights as opposite sex couples. 

That is where the  House Bill No. 6595 entitled “An Act Recognizing the Civil Partnership of Couples, Providing for their Rights and Obligations” comes in. Submitted through the House of Representatives, the same allows same-sex couples to enter into a civil partnership status and be able to equally enjoy the same rights as the opposite sex couples. It was introduced by Representatives Pataleon Alvares, Geraldine Roman, Raneo Abu, Frederick Abueg, et al. on the 10th of October 2017 and is currently being passed through a hearing. 

Secondly, many people have misunderstood that sexual orientation is a choice, and that a homosexual can be reformed to be a heterosexual anytime they want. Homosexuality is NOT A CHOICE. It’s absurd to even suggest such. Logically speaking no one would ever  deliberately choose to be seen as a 2nd class citizen, to be burdened with discrimination and abuses, to be battered again and again, to be negated, and to be deprived of equal rights. In fact, there have been thousand of studies that proves homosexuality as having biological causation. That means if a person is born to be gay, they cannot do anything about it they cannot change or choose their . Therefore it is not our choice to be homosexual, and it is not fair to treat us differently from others.

Thirdly, Since homosexuality is proven to be innate (like race), then moral objections to same-sex marriages are similar to moral objections to inter-racial marriages. Being denied the label of marriage devalues the same-sex relationship, implying the couple is less deserving than a different-sex couple. 

Fourthly, as far as building a family is concerned, in today's modern science there are various ways in conception, that not only same sex couples go through but also opposite sex couples. We cannot directly say that we should remain with a "proven and tested" way of family building against same sex couples, as nothing is proven yet. We cannot use the term "proven and tested" against something we have not yet tried, it's not only absurd but also illogical. 

Lastly, this apartheid way of thinking causes indirect effects that affects everyone. For straight people, the lack of full sanction for gay relationships creates a more polarized social view of gender. Studies show that children are particularly sensitive to what is socially approved and what is not. Boys raised in a homophobic culture learn to overemphasize masculine qualities, fear feminine qualities, and create more macho personas, as well as to fear being “loving” with their male friends. Girls are similarly affected in a negative way. As both learn to be less authentic to their true nature in an effort to fit social ideals, they create long-term psychological challenges for themselves. The pain of inauthenticity flares up in substance abuse, violence, sexual dysfunction, isolation, and divorce amongst many. We all crave being loved for who we are. To the degree that we create an inauthentic facade, we never have the feeling of full loving acceptance. 

At the end of the day our issue lies in inequality, discrimination, and the deprivation of our right to equality. Our freedom to differ and, ultimately, our freedom to choose must not be limited by existing laws, especially when there is nothing that prohibits legislation accommodating legitimate calls for equality, which the Constitution itself enshrine. The legalization of gay marriage will not, by itself, alleviate all our society’s imbalances. What it will do, though, is create a more expanded sense for what we hold as sacred and worthy of respect. That will trickle down, creating more permission for every child to be authentic to themselves and, in the end, forge a society with a healthier balance of masculine and feminine qualities, less conflict, and more overall happiness. This will not only have benefits for gay citizens but literally for all.

“Practical solutions are preferable to ideological stalemates; accommodation is better than intransigence; reason more worthy than rhetoric. This will allow persons of diverse viewpoints to live together, if not harmoniously, then, at least, civilly.” - Supreme Court (Ladlad v. Comelec)

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_________________________


References:

  1. Messerli, Joe, Same Sex Marriages (Pros & Cons, Arguments For and Against), (2009)
  2. Parisella, John 2009, The inevitability of legalized gay marriages (2009)
  3. 1987 Philippine Constitution, Section 1 Article III
  4. EO No.209 The Family Code Article 1
  5. Alvarez et. al. House Bill No. 6595 “An Act Recognizing the Civil Partnership of Couples, Providing for their Rights and Obligations”
  6. Ladlad v. Comelec GR No. 180582 (2010)
  7. Hojilla, Kate, Same-sex marriage and its legal hindrance in the Philippines, AccraLaw Publications (2017)
  8. Porcalla, Delon, Civil partnership more feasible than same-sex marriage,  The Philippine Star (2017)
  9. Dinan, Stephen, Why Gay Marriage is important, HuffingtonPoxt (2011)
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I have a lot of sun glasses that are often scattered all over my house or my car and sometimes when I plan out my OOTDs I often can't complete the look with a sunglass that looks so well with my ensemble because most of the time I cannot find the specific pair that Im looking for. So I'm currently organizing my stuff, my closet mostly and I decided to DIY something I can organize my accessories In. 

At first I thought of doing like huge wall pockets, but that didn't seem "manageable" to me in the long run, those who have wall pockets know what I mean, they collect dust, they're hard to clean, the list goes on. So I looked through all my supplies hoping to get inspiration, and I came across these long metal pipes from an old "fabric cabinet" (You know the wardrobe with the fabric linings and a zipper to close it, I saved the pipes from that old one). And since this was a recycle diy it literally cost me nothing.

Anyway here I go with the DIY...



  • Metal Pipes (Copper pipes work too)
  • Pipe cutter
  • Nylon
  • Scissors
  • Ruler
  • Sand Paper
  • Marker

Step 1: Clean the pipe, you can do this using metal polisher for best results, or toothpaste if you're feeling kinda thrifty, since these are old pipes I cleaned it twice using toothpaste and a brush.

Step 2: Measure out the length you'd want your accessory organizer to be. mine is 7.5 inches, and mark it using your marker.


Step 3: Use a pipe cutter to cut your pipe where the mark is. I made 3 7.5inches pipes cuz I want three layers only. You can add as many as you want.


Note: If you don't know how to use a pipe cutter here's how you should do it.
-Loosen the pipe cutter first using the knob on the side, once it's big enough for your pipe to be placed inside, well, place the pipe in between.
-Tighten the pipe cutter using the knob once again until you have secured your pipe into place.
-Keep on twisting your pipe until the other half falls off.


Step 4: Sand the edges of the pipe using  a metal sand paper. This is done to prevent you from breaking skin from the sharp edges of the pipe


Step 5: Cut a long piece of nylon. and thread the pipes starting at the lowest tier, then work your way up.


AND YOU'RE DONE, NICE AND EASY!



Since I already had all the materials on hand this DIY cost me nothing. However should you start from scratch..

Metal Pipes (most hardware stores)                P50-100/piece
Pipe cutter (most hardware stores)                 P250
Nylon                                                               P20/spiel
Sand Paper                                                     P10

TOTAL                                                             P330-380

Now 330php is pretty steep for such a simple DIY but note that the most expensive part of this DIY is the Pipe cutter, which can be reused specially at home repairs or if your a frequent DIY such as myself.

  • This is such an easy and cheap DIY to make but the results look nothing but.
  • It can be used as dish cloth rack, an organizer for some cooking tools, you can hang just about anything.
  • It's simple, minimalist, which makes it the perfect hanging organizer because it doesn't add to the eyesore clutter you used to have


Thank you so much for sticking with me till the end, I love to challenge so much, I'd love to do it again, and I'm currently redecorating my room/home office so there sure is plenty more to come. If you like this DIY make sure to visit my previous DIY Traveler's "I was here" corkboard


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