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Coming together to parent when you couldn’t stay together as a couple could be a recipe for hell on earth. Pure HELL. I know all about it because I lived it as a young single mom, and I see it daily as I coach other single moms. Read on as you learn to co-parent well as a single mom.

Truth moment: my kids’ dad and I struggled in this area. It was flat out war for a while and then it became indifference for him and me. Yes, I desire for you to reach my level of unbotheredness. But, my kids lost in this and later won. Read on to find out how to try and keep the lines of communication open between and you and your ex.

Currently, I don’t hate him anymore but we have no need to talk often. We communicate by text message and it’s only about the kids. That’s life. Sometimes it works out this way. But, I tried. And you must, too -for the kids. Mama, for the kids.

Real truth: You both can decide how to relate to each other. It doesn’t have to be ugly. He can decide it does have to be that way though and that is called choice. But since we cannot control others, YOU can decide it doesn’t. {Inserts my black girl voice: “Okay girl!”} But how? What are ya’ gonna do in what just might be the ugliest battle you’ve seen from somebody you used to love?  Here are a few communication tactics to help you co-parent well as a single mom.

Set your positive intention and expectations BEFORE you dial the number or send the text message.

We do not always take ownership of the fact that our negative expectation of how things will go before we ever get started can be a part of the problem. You be the change that you want to see by going in with great, positive expectations. Start by setting your intention for the interaction.

Script for self-talk: “As parents, together we will achieve **insert the focus and end goal of the communication**.”

Really let the positive expectation play out in your head: your positive start to the conversation, their positive response, and the success of the plan. Setting your intention for the conversation before you have it is the same as saying a prayer. The only difference is that you aren’t just asking God for help, you are doing your part to create the vision for the positive result.

Caveat: Some folks like to keep up confusion. Not your monkey; not your circus. Resolve to stay at peace, lay out the purpose if your communication, and move on.

Focus on the most important thing –the child/ren.

Do not mix in other issues with your communication about your child/ren. When you are initiating contact about your child/ren, stay focused only on what is best for them. In the court system, your child is appointed a Guardian ad litem, that person is the representative for your child. Not for you and not for the other parent, ONLY the child. That means the personal preferences and vendettas of the parents are removed and only what is best for the child is left for consideration. Although you may start with your preference, once you receive opposition to your preference, take a moment and consider if alternatives to your preference will yield the same results that are still in the best interest of the child/ren. In other words, compromise may sometimes be in order.

Script for response to opposition: “I hear you. It was my preference that we do it how I proposed. However, the important focus here is our child/ren and an end result that’s best for them. As I’m sure we agree on the goal, how do you suggest we get to goal?”

It’s not about getting your way. It’s about getting the best result for the child/ren. So stay open to things being done in partnership, because that is what parenting really is.

Side bar: When we were younger, my kids’ dad and I co-parented well for like 2-3 months. I was still in lust with him and in shock, so all my working together came from a place of hurt. I was trying to detach from him and do what was best for the kids. So, if you’re in that spot right now, be honest, and take precautions. Soul ties are real. I went through more than I should have when the writing was on the wall AND he wasn’t doing daddy duties. Chile! Stay clear and stay focused. I recommend my first book to help you here. Chapter 1 will help you heal from the hurt. Grab it HERE.

I hope these two co-parenting strategies are helpful, they are just the tip of the iceberg in how I guide and support my clients. Let’s talk about your personalized parenting needs and how I can help; to set up a call, go HERE.

The post How to Co-Parent Well as a Single Mom appeared first on Kaywanda Lamb | Dallas Single Parenting Expert, Coach, and Speaker.

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#MomChat was on fire last weekend. Do you follow me on Facebook and Instagram? If not, you’re missing good information every Sunday at around 7pm Central Time. This last weekend #MomChat was about side hustles. Sis, sometimes we all need a little extra to take care of the babies.  It’s great to have a side hustle for just that reason. Don’t take the label side hustle to mean anything negative. It simply denotes a business that you run on the “side” of your job or main business.

Let’s get right into six savvy ways you can cultivate a side hustle of your own:

  1. Make Something. A great way to make money on the side is by making something. I gave the example of baking cupcakes that everyone have told you are amazing and selling them. I also gave the example of making crafts and selling them on Esty.com. Other examples are sewing, painting, message t-shirts, etc… Anything that you make and people have wanted you to make that thing for them, try making and selling that thing.
  1. Share Something. This is one that many do not think about when they think of making extra money. I gave the example of being an affiliate for companies by getting paid to share their products or services. Some of your favorite products, programs, and services have affiliate opportunities. One that a lot of people have heard of is MLM or multiple level marketing opportunities. By sharing what the company is about, what they sell, and how that person can make money with the company too, you can sign people up to work with that company and make money from their sign up. Another example, is by being a connector that shares information, jobs, or people that are needed by other people. You can do this by having a website or a directory that the information, jobs, or people connections can pay to be listed on and be found by the people that need them.
  1. Sell Something. You can always sell ready made products or services. Going back to the MLM companies, most of these companies have two opportunities to make money. Sharing the opportunity to work with them to people who sign up, as mentioned before. But also by selling the actual products of that company: Paparazzi Jewelry, Pampered Chef, InteleTravel, etc… If you do not want to sell products for a company, you can start your own company by buying products wholesale and selling them for a retail price to make a profit. So instead of partnering with Paparazzi, you can Google wholesale jewelry, sell it at a retail price of choosing, and keep the profit.
  1. Re-sell Something. You can take the things new and used that you have and don’t need and see them. You can not only do this for yourself, but you can do it for family, friends, and even strangers. You can have yard sales, use consignment shops or even Facebook marketplace. If you really want to get into reselling as a nice business, you can buy new but low cost items wholesale in bulk and resell it on platforms like Amazon and eBay. People are making great money doing just that.
  1. Support Others. Did you know there is money in supporting others by providing services that they need? The example I gave was offering to pick children up from school as a paid service. Babysitting is a great service too. You can combine picking up and keeping the children together as a service. Are you good at planning parties and other events? That’s a great service to offer. Do you have organization and computer skills? If so, you can become a virtual assistant, which is like a remote secretary. A lot of small businesses and entrepreneurs are looking for administrative support for an affordable rate.
  1. Teach Others. I am a Spanish teacher and in one of my businesses I teach others to speak Spanish to open opportunities in their business. If there is something that you know that others would like to know, then you can teach them. You can tutor kids and college students. On the #MomChat I gave the resources of Wyzant.com and UniversityTutor.com as platforms to find clients for your tutoring skills. Again you can teach whatever you have gotten through or achieved successfully, that others would like to get through or achieve.

Look, Momma… I know you have a lot to do with the kids and your full-time job, but having a side hustle will eventually give you more control over your schedule, more freedom in your budget, and can in many cases be more beneficial than a part-time job. I hope you consider it as well as weigh the focus and commitment it takes to build a business. Once you have, get ready to rock with these 6 ideas that have the potential to change your life and your kids for the better. Happy Side hustling!

P.S.

My Single Mom Success Academy is almost ready. I’ll be teaching you how to build from scratch in 3-6 months. The academy will be part pre-recorded lessons and part live Q&A with me with special guests that will help you really grow your business without the headache, trial, and error we went through. Want to be on the waitlist for launch date and get the details? Sign up here.

The post Six Savvy Side Hustles appeared first on Kaywanda Lamb | Dallas Single Parenting Expert, Coach, and Speaker.

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#MomChat was on fire last weekend. Do you follow me on Facebook and Instagram? If not, you’re missing good information every Sunday at around 7pm Central Time. This last weekend #MomChat was about side hustles. Sis, sometimes we all need a little extra to take care of the babies.  It’s great to have a side hustle for just that reason. Don’t take the label side hustle to mean anything negative. It simply denotes a business that you run on the “side” of your job or main business.

Let’s get right into six savvy ways you can cultivate a side hustle of your own:

  1. Make Something. A great way to make money on the side is by making something. I gave the example of baking cupcakes that everyone have told you are amazing and selling them. I also gave the example of making crafts and selling them on Esty.com. Other examples are sewing, painting, message t-shirts, etc… Anything that you make and people have wanted you to make that thing for them, try making and selling that thing.
  1. Share Something. This is one that many do not think about when they think of making extra money. I gave the example of being an affiliate for companies by getting paid to share their products or services. Some of your favorite products, programs, and services have affiliate opportunities. One that a lot of people have heard of is MLM or multiple level marketing opportunities. By sharing what the company is about, what they sell, and how that person can make money with the company too, you can sign people up to work with that company and make money from their sign up. Another example, is by being a connector that shares information, jobs, or people that are needed by other people. You can do this by having a website or a directory that the information, jobs, or people connections can pay to be listed on and be found by the people that need them.
  1. Sell Something. You can always sell ready made products or services. Going back to the MLM companies, most of these companies have two opportunities to make money. Sharing the opportunity to work with them to people who sign up, as mentioned before. But also by selling the actual products of that company: Paparazzi Jewelry, Pampered Chef, InteleTravel, etc… If you do not want to sell products for a company, you can start your own company by buying products wholesale and selling them for a retail price to make a profit. So instead of partnering with Paparazzi, you can Google wholesale jewelry, sell it at a retail price of choosing, and keep the profit.
  1. Re-sell Something. You can take the things new and used that you have and don’t need and see them. You can not only do this for yourself, but you can do it for family, friends, and even strangers. You can have yard sales, use consignment shops or even Facebook marketplace. If you really want to get into reselling as a nice business, you can buy new but low cost items wholesale in bulk and resell it on platforms like Amazon and eBay. People are making great money doing just that.
  1. Support Others. Did you know there is money in supporting others by providing services that they need? The example I gave was offering to pick children up from school as a paid service. Babysitting is a great service too. You can combine picking up and keeping the children together as a service. Are you good at planning parties and other events? That’s a great service to offer. Do you have organization and computer skills? If so, you can become a virtual assistant, which is like a remote secretary. A lot of small businesses and entrepreneurs are looking for administrative support for an affordable rate.
  1. Teach Others. I am a Spanish teacher and in one of my businesses I teach others to speak Spanish to open opportunities in their business. If there is something that you know that others would like to know, then you can teach them. You can tutor kids and college students. On the #MomChat I gave the resources of Wyzant.com and UniversityTutor.com as platforms to find clients for your tutoring skills. Again you can teach whatever you have gotten through or achieved successfully, that others would like to get through or achieve.

Look, Momma… I know you have a lot to do with the kids and your full-time job, but having a side hustle where you have more control over the time you put into it can be more beneficial than just going to get a part-time job, so consider it.

The post Six Savvy Side Hustles appeared first on Kaywanda Lamb | Dallas Single Parenting Expert, Coach, and Speaker.

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Coming together to parent when you couldn’t stay together as a couple could be a recipe for hell on earth. Pure HELL. I know all about it because I lived it and I see it daily as I coach Moms. Truth moment: my kids’ dad and I struggled in this area. It was flat out war for a while and then it became indifference.

Currently, I don’t hate him anymore but we have no need to talk often. We communicate by text message and it’s only about the kids. That’s life. Sometimes it works this way. But, I tried. And you must, too -for the kids.

You both can decide how to relate to each other. It doesn’t have to be ugly. He can decide it does have to be that way. But since we cannot control others, YOU can decide it doesn’t. But how? What ya’ gonna do?  Here are a few communication tactics to help you get there.

Set your positive intention and expectations BEFORE you dial the number or send the text message. We do not always take ownership of the fact that our negative expectation of how things will go before we ever get started can be a part of the problem. You be the change that you want to see by going in with great, positive expectations. Start by setting your intention for the interaction.

Script for self-talk: “As parents, together we will achieve **insert the focus and end goal of the communication**.”

Really let the positive expectation play out in your head: your positive start to the conversation, their positive response, and the success of the plan. Setting your intention for the conversation before you have it is the same as saying a prayer. The only difference is that you aren’t just asking God for help, you are doing your part to create the vision for the positive result.

Caveat: Some folks like to keep up confusion. Not your monkey; not your circus. Resolve to stay at peace, lay out the purpose if your communication, and move on.

Focus on the most important thing –the child/ren. Do not mix in other issues with your communication about your child/ren. When you are initiating contact about your child/ren, stay focused only on what is best for them. In the court system, your child is appointed a Guardian ad litem, that person is the representative for your child. Not for you and not for the other parent, ONLY the child. That means the personal preferences and vendettas of the parents are removed and only what is best for the child is left for consideration. Although you may start with your preference, once you receive opposition to your preference, take a moment and consider if alternatives to your preference will yield the same results that are still in the best interest of the child/ren. In other words, compromise may sometimes be in order.

Script for response to opposition: “I hear you. It was my preference that we do it how I proposed. However, the important focus here is our child/ren and an end result that’s best for them. As I’m sure we agree on the goal, how do you suggest we get to goal?”

It’s not about getting your way. It’s about getting the best result for the child/ren. So stay open to things being done in partnership, because that is what parenting really is.

Side bar: When we were younger, my kids’ dad and I co-parented well for like 2-3 months. I was still in lust with him and in shock, so all my working together came from a place of hurt. I was trying to detach from him and do what was best for the kids. So, if you’re in that spot right now, be honest, and take precautions. Soul ties are real. I went through more than I should have when the writing was on the wall AND he wasn’t doing daddy duties. Chile! Stay clear and stay focused. I recommend my first book to help you here. Chapter 1 will help you heal from the hurt. Grab it HERE.

I hope these two co-parenting strategies are helpful, they are just the tip of the iceberg in how I guide and support my clients. Let’s talk about your personalized parenting needs and how I can help; to set up a call, go HERE.

The post Co-Parenting Communication appeared first on Kaywanda Lamb | Dallas Single Parenting Expert, Coach, and Speaker.

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Sis, I gave you some tips to Get Your Money Right. But Honey, let’s help it stay that way. Here are tips on saving money in not so obvious places:

  1. Unplug non-essential electronics when not in use. Do you realize how many blue, red, green, and other colored little lights stay on all around the house? Those lights symbolize electronics that are being powered but are not in use. Make it a habit to unplug things that are not in daily use and unplugging non-essential things (e.g. refrigerator, stove, etc…) directly after use.
  1. Check to see if the room is bright enough from natural light before just switching the overhead light on. We are so used to entering a room and turning on the light. Let’s get used to pulling back curtains and letting in the natural light instead. If you aren’t reading, most often you don’t even need an overhead light on. Your phone, tablet, and computer are already illuminated. During day light hours, that may be enough light. Try it out and see.
  1. Get in the habit of not turning the faucet on full force during every use. You do not have to turn the faucet all the way to the other side to brush your teeth, rinse liquid off a dish, run dish or bath water when you are not in a hurry, etc… Instead of a mindless full-force waterfall, start the good habit of being intentional of the stream of water you need for the task at hand.
  1. Shop online to compare prices; even everyday items are sold online for quick delivery now. Over the years we have gotten used to shopping online for random items. Nowadays, your everyday items are also available online and can be cheaper, even if it just saves gas. A lot of the larger chain grocery stores offer online ordering with home delivery. For even better pricing, check out what Amazon has to offer that can be sometimes be delivered the same day. It’s all about price shopping, as well as saving time and gas.
  1. Also a great online choice are savings accounts that yield more interest for your balance. Traditional banks do not pay very much in interest to your savings account. Without the overhead of a brick and mortar building to pay for, a lot of online only banks offer higher interest payments for your savings balance. Do your research and start making more money for just letting your savings sit.
  1. Familiarize yourself with the credit card and Visa debit card reward and discount offers. You could be saving money on the purchase of things you buy all the time or even big ticket items just by being a card holder. Again, do your research to get familiar and stay on top of it by paying attention to emails from your card companies and banner messages on their websites when you go to pay on your card. You could be missing out on ways to save big money.
  1. Speaking of credit cards, pay the balance before the due dates to avoid interest payments. No need in paying interest if you can pay off your monthly balance before the due date. Even if you cannot pay the card off by the due date, pay more than the minimum balance by the due date to lower your balance… thus lowering the interest you pay as a whole.
  1. Say no to bank fees. Being fiscally responsible has its perks. You still need to “balance your checkbook” even if you only use your debit card and not checks. You cannot rely on the balance shown from the online access to your accounts. They do not reflect pending payments that have expired but will still be withdrawn, some charges that haven’t shown up yet, all scheduled electronic draft payments, etc… Don’t depend on your memory nor the bank to know your correct balance. Use a check registry, an Excel spreadsheet, or even accounting software to keep an accurate accounting of your affairs and avoid those overdraft fees.
  1. I’m not going to tell you to take food into places that it may not be allowed (e.g. movie theaters, bowling alleys, etc…), but I will suggest that you eat before going. When going places for entertainment, it’s best that you feed the family before going. And not sandwiches and such, feed them a nice hearty meal so that it will not “wear off” and they get hungry while you are still out having fun.
  1. Cut off subscriptions that you aren’t using enough or at all. Not going to the gym? Cut it. Not reading the newspaper? Cut it. Not flipping the pages of those magazines? Cut it. Not utilizing online memberships whether for business or personal. Cut them. If you aren’t using the subscriptions at all, then you will save money by not paying for what you do not use. If you use the subscription only some of the time, then you’ll still save money by paying per use rather than getting charged the discounted price every month despite actually usage.

I hope this helps you to save some money, Momma. Let me know what you think about these tips. Are you already implementing some of these suggestions? Did you find a few that you can start implementing that haven’t been? For more information on getting and keeping your finances straight, go HERE.

The post 10 Uncommon Ways Single Moms Can Keep More Money In Their Pockets appeared first on Kaywanda Lamb | Dallas Single Parenting Expert, Coach, and Speaker.

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Have you ever felt underappreciated and just a little sad when Mother’s Day comes around? You know because your kids are little and you’re single and no one is celebrating you like you want? I get it sister. And that is why I’m going to help you celebrate yourself. Don’t get me wrong. I love my boys and adored every tiny painted handprint, soggy bowl of cereal (their idea of breakfast in bed), and all the I love you mama’s down through the years, but sometimes a girl wants a little more. So, read on for 7 ways to treat you this holiday if you’re a single mom like me.

First of all, shift your mindset. Yes, single parenting is hard. Yes, it would be great to have a mate to do life with. But, you are here, you are powerful, and you are raising your babies. Give yourself some credit. This Mother’s Day, there will be no wishing for what you don’t have. There will only be celebrating you and what you do have and moving towards what you want.

To help this belief take root, you should journal about your experiences, your highs and lows, and how you’ve made it this far. Sometimes, you need to be reminded that you are a BOSS! Next, write down some affirmations to post daily to remind you of how amazing you are. See what I did there? You aren’t waiting to be celebrated. Celebrate yourself. Woo!

Just how can you take this self love party to the next level? Here are 7 things to bring some me time and some fun into your life that are in and outside of the box.

  1. Get a relaxing massage

It’s no secret I still have a full-time job while I build multiple businesses and so my feet need regular rubbing at least once a month. I do not want to hear “I can’t afford it.” Many places are running specials and have memberships. Check out Massage Envy or your local Spa. Chances are a little aromatherapy and some magic hands will have you woo-sahing in no time.

  1. Get a mani-pedi. I mean, need I say more? Take care of those hands and feet. I’m not a huge jewelry person, so my nails are my jewels. I keep them done and feel naked with them bare. Lol! I know. You can do this for yourself if you’re talented and like to save coins. Or, you can invest in some quiet time while somebody else pampers you. These range from 30-55 bucks, so plan on investing in your self care and live a little.
  1. Catch a movie by yourself or with the kids

I know. Not usual tips for Mother’s Day, but sometimes we need to break the mold and do something we love, like, or need. You can do this on Saturday or catch a Sunday matinee. Whatever you do, have a blast. And if you haven’t seen Avengers, (OMG!!) go see it. Amazing! I saw it with my boys and it was fun. This is just about the last tradition we have. They are not trying to hang with me. You know. Teens. So, do what you need and love on you.So, make memories. Have a movie night.

  1. Trade weekends with a family member or friend and relax

I know you’re gonna fight me on this, so you don’t have to do it Mother’s Day, but maybe Friday or Saturday or some other day. But, learn how to split baby watching duties so you can have a quiet night home or a fun adult night out. Taking turns watching the kids was a way for me to get social when my boys were young and be able to hold an adult conversation every once in a while. My moms with littles know what I mean. Haha! Sometimes just being able to tinkle without a “What you doing?” means soooo much.

  1. Take yourself to dinner, brunch with the girls, or potluck at your place

I know every holiday, I cook because I want good food. But, over the years, I learned to allow myself a break. So, Sunday will be crowded. How about brunch with the girls on Saturday or with the kids? You can also have all your single mom sisters come over and you each bring a dish. The kids play and you all get to chat and be adults. A win win!

  1. Do something about your desire to bring love into your life

You can launch your online dating profile this Mother’s Day. Outside the box, right? Listen, I know some of you are shy and need to tip toe back into dating, so this is an easy way to meet people. Now, beware some dudes are just waiting on the mom who is tired of being single. But, if you’re in a space to receive and be good love, it’s time to start checking your options. On and off line. Activate that profile.

  1. Do nothing

Mama, my Mother’s Day typically begins with prayer when I wake up, church at Bedside Baptist or in person. I love to worship with the rest of the saints, so I foresee us going to church and brunch. But, when my body and soul needs a “do nothing” day, I oblige. I have learned to rest and to stop people pleasing. Listen, you are the leader of your life and you must stop waiting on life to show up and take life by the horns. Then, you will begin to bring forth what you really desire.

I pray this post has given you ideas but has also reactivated your desire to live your best life and to honor you on a day designed to honor those of us who are called mom by some little people all over the world. Remember, you have an amazing job, you amazing woman. Do what you need so you can keep doing that job well.

From me and my boys to you and your babies, I wish you the happiest Mother’s Day yet! Were these tips helpful? Write me back and let me know how you will love on you this holiday and beyond!

The post How Every Single Mom Should Celebrate Mother’s Day appeared first on Kaywanda Lamb | Dallas Single Parenting Expert, Coach, and Lifestyle Blogger.

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As a Single Mom, you really just want to focus on your babies, live well, get a nap, and not have your financial situation be the party pooper. The fact is we still have to be sure we have enough money coming in and aren’t incurring huge debts wherever possible. There are a lot of struggles that your family will encounter along the way if there is no control or format laid out for financial order. Ask me how I know.

But, I can also tell you that there is hope. You have to face your fears and create a home for ALL your money. It takes patience, focus, and sacrifice to master your money.

One of the pitfalls is to fall so deep into debt that it would be very difficult and sometimes impossible to get out from under it. Just keeping up with the way our children grow and fulfilling their clothing, school, and enrichment needs is enough to take you past your money limits. Unless you say no and create a money system. When finances are not in order, it’s nearly impossible to spend wisely since there is no clear plan on what and where the priority for spending should be.

The danger is to simply and blindly spend on everything and anything cause you’re tired, hungry, feel like it, etc. without keeping proper records or tracking your spending habits, thus causing a lot of damage to your financial credibility. This of course will eventually affect your family and their needs, too. I’ve been through financial hell 3 times. I know how to dig myself out. I want you to thrive and not experience that. So, take time to see “what you’re working with.” Or as the prophet said to the widow, “what do you have in your house.”

Sis, let’s keep things from getting too far from where you want to be. I created something to help and it’s GOOOOD! Mama, Money, Mindset is just for you and you can get it HERE. It’s time to take control of what you have to make room for more.

The post Quick Tips To Get Your Money Right appeared first on Kaywanda Lamb | Dallas Single Parenting Expert, Coach, and Lifestyle Blogger.

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We’ve all seen the battle on social media over the $200 date. I’ve talked about it on social. Men complained that they were spending major dough while dating and trying to find their Ruth. Women stated that it is what they’re supposed to do (myself included). Now Sis, of course, we believe we are worth the investment. And, what about men being providers and showing up as such during the dating process to show their capacity for being THE ONE? Yep! I agree with all that you’re saying as you are reading this and possibly rolling your eyes. But, for the purposes of this conversation, let’s help Boaz stop stressing and get to know you better.

Honey, it’s nice to be wined and dined, but our value is not in the total spent on the date. So instead of getting into conversations about dating costs, why not give our potential beau a carrot? Here are a few ways to do just that. Start by communicating that your focus is on getting to know him and not on how much he spends. But, also be clear that your expectation of your mate is that he able to provide for home. For dating, challenge him to craft creative experiences that yield a great time at the end of the night, not just a large bill to pay.

Real talk, he shouldn’t be taking every woman he meets out for steak and lobster. Nor should he be dating unless he’s ready for marriage. But, that’s my opinion. No, his budget is not your problem. But it shouldn’t be your only focus either. My point: be accommodating and flexible, but also state your desires and expectations for beyond dating.

Once you two start hanging out more, jump in and take a turn or two to show him how to plan a date. Once you’ve allowed him to lead with a few opportunities to show you a good time, you follow with one of your own. If you believe in going dutch, do that. If you believe the person who asks should pay, do that. You can choose a great inexpensive experience for you both to enjoy. And so can he.

Once you are really getting to know each other and having fun, now you can go deeper into what you expect. He may believe the man should always pay and you think the bill should be split. It’s important to have this discussion to see how each person thinks.

At some point you may be comfortable enough to find great experiences together. Let him know the Groupon events that you’ve “come across” that seem like a good time. You can also find great events by Googling “affordable dates” and the name of your town. I’m not telling you to help him be a cheapskate. Sis, I’m saying there is more value to having multiple fun experiences than there is in having one expensive date. Let me hear from you, what do you think? Yay or nay?

Not brave enough to say how you feel on this issue, turn down a date because it’s been awhile, or take the lead on suggesting fun dating experiences? That is just one reason why I created Dating Confidence. You can get it HERE. The more you focus on who you are, what you want and need in a mate, this conversation should become less an issue. When you get the dating confidence course, you’ll know who to say yes to and who to avoid.

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The post Dating Dollars And Sense appeared first on Kaywanda Lamb | Dallas Single Parenting Expert, Coach, and Lifestyle Blogger.

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As a single mother, your time is valuable. You have to bring home the bacon, cook it, and make sure the kids eat it. So Momma, while dating, you really need to be sure you are investing your time and energy into someone that shows mutual interest and respect. Yes, men should typically make the first move and ask you out. But, every man does not deserve a yes. What you want to know is, did they want to see how far they can go with little effort or are they genuinely interested in getting to know you?

Have you noticed how determined people get when they are interested in something? They research it, talk about it, go look at it, etc.  They put time into obtaining it just like you did for your career, house, car, etc. You know like how you balance the world on your shoulders and raise your babies well. YOU put in werk! So, the same goes for dating. You want to see some energy. Here are four warning signs that he doesn’t deserve your time:

  1. Every time you talk with him, it’s because you called him.

Of course, we most of us prefer phone calls, but in this busy day and age text messages may outweigh calls. But, that’s all the more reason for calls to be quality. So I’m not dismissing the use of text messaging, but I am placing more importance on phone calls. Is he actually setting aside time to have a voice-to-voice convo with you so that tone is not lost and more of a connection can be felt. Sis, I’m talking quality conversations that make you feel like you’re back in high school getting to know someone. The kind of conversations where you may miss your bedtime because it just flows. You may be excited to have someone to talk to, but we have to make sure they are excited about you, too. So not only should you pay attention to whether he calls you as much as you call him, also make sure you are allowing time between communication to give him the opportunity to call you.

  1. A lot of time passes before he reaches out to you again.

If you aren’t married, no one owes you an explanation for their absence. But someone who is interested in you cares about building with you. For that reason, they won’t just disappear or leave huge gaps in communication without letting you know first. Let’s be clear busy is not an excuse. As single mothers, we know what a busy schedule is because we live that life daily. Just as you can make time for who you are interested in, they can make time for you if they are interested in you. Life happens, but communication should always take place when he sees that he won’t be able to talk as often. Period. If someone can’t do that while dating, why would you take it any further?

  1. Every time you go out, it’s because you planned it and made it convenient for him.

Again, busy goes two ways. There is nothing wrong with planning opportunities to see each other. Sometimes you are the better planner and he may even ask you to plan. However, what shouldn’t happen often is that the very mention of creating plans is always on your shoulders. I had a boyfriend like this once and it drove me mad. I’m like dude, just think for a second about what I like and what would be cool for us to do together. He could never decide. I was like I can’t do this for 50 years and bounced. It wasn’t just that, but you have to know what you want and be willing to walk away trusting life will bring you greater. I sure do!

And what’s worse is if he doesn’t agree to plans unless they are always convenient to his schedule or his life. You don’t want to set your dating life up this way, because you simply wouldn’t have a relationship. You have a wait and date when someone feels like it. Feels more like being a friend with benefits than a woman he wants to make time for. Mutual interest means mutual work. No work? Next.

  1. He’s not trying to get to know and understand you.

In the beginning, you may both be nervous, full of excitement, and playing it safe. People sometimes talk about themselves a lot out of habit. Eventually, there should be space for you to share about you. Someone who is interested in you wants to know about you. They do that by allowing you space to talk about yourself and by asking questions about you. Anyone satisfied with giving you information about them, but not receiving information about you isn’t very interested in knowing you. They just like talking about themselves. That’s not sexy or something a busy woman got all cute for.

If there is interest shown in other ways in addition to one of these warning signs, use discernment to decide if you want to invest your time. However, if you are experiencing a combination of these warning signs, then recognizing those behaviors may be just what you need to save yourself some headache. Remember, there are millions of available men. Life goes on. Don’t make the wrong man Mr. Right cause you tired. You are WORTHY. Remember that.

I hope these signs help you to clearly see someone’s interest in you. Actions speak louder than words, boo. Sis, I don’t want you to be tolerated; you need to be celebrated!

Would you add any more warning signs to the list? Comment below and let’s help some sisters out. Still unsure if who you should be spending time with? Quit playing and grab my Love Plan HERE. It is 15 pages of thought provoking real work that’ll teach you how to create a real plan for your love life and increase your chances of finding the ONE. Happy Dating!

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The post 4 Warning Signs That Your Mate May Be Wasting Your Time appeared first on Kaywanda Lamb | Dallas Single Parenting Expert, Coach, and Lifestyle Blogger.

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I’ve heard it time and time again, “With me and my kids’ busy schedules I don’t have time to date.” A few months of that attitude and you’ll be looking around after a year saying, “I can’t believe I haven’t been on not ONE date in over a year.” No worries, Momma.

I got you covered.

See, it isn’t that you don’t have time to date. It’s that you haven’t gotten to know someone that inspires you to make time to fit them into your busy schedule. So, I have three uncommon ways to get in some first dates to get you back into the swing of thing, so you can meet someone worth changing your schedule or missing Empire.

  1. No matter where you work, you get a lunch break. Assuming you work for at least five days a week, that is five (count them 5) times a week you can fit in a first date. Listen, we like to give men a hard time because they seem to date a lot. Why not take a page from the fellas and keep it light and go on a coffee date? You’re already out together for work. For my professional ladies, you are probably already dressed to kill. For my uniform babes, you can make a quick change into something that is easy to get in and out of that makes you feel like a diva.

  2. Happy Hour time is about 4pm to 7pm. This is during the time that most of you get off work. Instead of rushing home, get off a little earlier and let the kids go to after school care until it closes. Get in a nice early evening first date and go home all smiles. Or, pre-arrange to get them home and to the sitter or switch babysitting duty with a friendgirl you trust. She watches your kids while you go feel like a woman and enjoy male company and vice versa when it’s her turn. This was my go-to method when my boys were younger.

  3. “Good morning, beautiful.” Don’t you just love getting that text from someone you actually like? Well, what about in the morning before work? Let your job, know you’ll be in around 9:30 am, drop the kids off as early as school will allow and use the time before you get into the rat race to get to know a possible new beau. Now, I would just take a half a day, but if your workplace is flexible, get it in, girl. Besides, breakfast is fun, not as packed, it’s a chill morn and then it’s also a set time cause you got thangs to do and hopefully, so does he.

There you have it, honey! You have time for what you make a priority. No excuses, you have to take steps to go after the things you say you want. And be creative!! Just because it is lunch time, doesn’t mean you can’t go to a museum. Just because it’s happy hour, doesn’t mean you can’t do an early dinner instead. And finally, just because it’s breakfast time, doesn’t mean you can’t meet in a park for a stroll with coffee.

And just because you have kids, it’s not the end of your dating life as you know it. There are good guys still looking for a good woman. You don’t have to believe the hype or accept less than you deserve because you have kids. Some men are elevated enough to understand a good woman when he sees it.

Listen Linda, you got this! Be open to new things to have a new life. I have something to give you a pretty shaved leg up HERE. Feeling less confident even after reading my great ideas? Grab my 2 week Dating Confidence Course and get your entire life made. It includes coaching from me, my signature “Love Plan” so you can figure out exactly who you are and who you really want to attract, and get an audio interview with a stylist, and a First Date Wardrobe guide for your body type. Yeah, you are about to have some fun sis! Go get em!

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The post 3 Easy Peasy First Date Ideas For Even The Busiest Single Mom appeared first on Kaywanda Lamb | Dallas Single Parenting Expert, Coach, and Lifestyle Blogger.

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