Words In Red | Critical Christianity Revitalization Radicalism
I am independent and a wanderer. I am high energy, intense, and I take life seriously. There's no other way of living for me. Now I breathe in the spirit of God and breathe out tranquility and peace. I have found who I am, Now I am looking to help others. You will get to truly know me through my stories and testimonies.
In my Book, there exist two versions of me. One who was hostage to the World and by it Dead. And one who is living through identity in Christ. To be detailed, there exists one version of me when I was lost, confused, and depressed. My whole existence was so separated and distanced from everything around me. What little there was of me, was just a pathetic pile of rotting trash. Then came one version of me, revitalized with God’s electrifying energy. Through this energy, I climbed out of the fissures of sorrow and into the wide-open arms of my Father.
This revitalization recovered the lost parts of me and added much more than I had asked for. Through the empowerment of Jesus Christ, I became a soldier on fire with the full armor of God fighting the battle’s which I was pulled towards. My newfound identity became a symbol of hope and a harbinger of His love. Now, I fight with passion for you.
To fully understand how a transformation like this could have taken place, we need to rewind way back to where my soul started to split and I became sorrow and sadness. I was saved a year ago. Three years before my saving was my crash. I fell deep into the pits and spiraled out of control. Due to my belief that I had full control of my life, when I spiraled out of control there was no one there to slow my trajectory down. I went down and it was fast.
Twin Cities :
Three years before my saving I was just a freshman at the University of Minnesota – Twin Cities. I had complete control of high school life because everything was easy for me. Academics, mind, emotions, friends, and living were completely under my control. I assumed I would be in control of them when I would start my collegiate years at Minnesota. My college plan was set out for the next eight years. Although I didn’t know what I wanted to do, I was given gifts to do the many possibilities. My ambition and motions were nonexistence. I didn’t know what I truly wanted, I just wanted to live the college life really bad.
My freshman year is difficult to talk about because it all seems like a blur to me. I was lost and the stereotypical college experience was what I desired. Long story short, it was a lot of partying and it was a lot of depression. I’m not sure why, but my living-learning community just liked getting together, drinking, and then talk about sad stuff. When you are surrounded by this and consistently partaking, even the most joyful soul can be extinguished. It didn’t take long for me to avoid classes. I couldn’t sleep consistently and that’s where my insomnia developed. After a tearful metldown with my mother, I told her I needed to get out of the city and just restart. Mentally, physically, but most especially emotionally.
La Crosse :
I transferred out of the Twin Cities and to the University of La Crosse. I’m not really honestly sure why I transferred to La Crosse, but I created reasons for myself to believe. There was my best friend from high school who was there and would support me. There was the fact that it was quite smaller than the Twin Cities as well. I thought being closer to home was going to make it easier. All these were lies I told myself but what did I know? I was at the lowest at that point.
I had tried to kill myself at the Twin Cities. There was one man, put by God, who intervened. His story is for another time, but his name was Scott and he became the saving grace that showed me that happiness, though seemed far away from me, was abundantly possible and it was only a heart away. The time at La Crosse wasn’t all that much better than my time at the Twin Cities. I was damaged and I never went out to party.
I got addicted to gaming and my roommate and I spent hours a day playing. It was the only “happiness” I could find. Not even alcohol, drugs, or love could fill it. I just felt so empty and like a ghost, I was sucking on anything that could give a little bit of happiness. Are you wondering what about the friend that I thought was going to support me? Well, no surprise he completely changed and he became a social animal and he loved going out. Now, not only was I sad but I felt great regret and rejection. Here I am expecting something earthly to cure or at the very least nullify my depression. Foolish, I was.
I started being prescribed all these drugs and going to therapy. I am going to write a post about depression, suicide, antidepressants, and anxiety soon but it is a complex and sensitive topic that I’m familiar with but I do not have the necessary attention span of my readers to write about it all here. In short, the drugs made me emotionless and like a zombie. Going to bed and waking up was a hard battle itself and if I ever got out of bed within 5 hours, it was a victory. Truly I tell you, there are many who understand what I’m talking about.
I left La Crosse and came back home completely torn apart, ripped, and damaged to the core. There was nothing about me that wasn’t ripped apart. My spirit especially was weary. I had lost hope. Hope, is a complicated topic that also will deserve its own post as well. The ultimate question was, what can you do with shattered pieces? What was once a heavenly masterpiece just seems too broken to put together now. A sad hollow vessel carrying not even a soul to live. To breath the stale air, and then to exhale lifeless air was my existence.
I felt useless and worth nothing. I had failed the world, and most especially I failed myself. No longer was I the confident boy who had everything under control. The control I perceived I had, was there no more. It didn’t help that I had an uncle who kept telling me how stupid and wrong I was for even going to Minnesota. I just couldn’t fight anymore, and I accepted it. The world took the opportunity to beat me down and I accepted it because my spirit was too weak to fight back. I lost who I was, and most importantly I rejected my name and my past. My existence became and I accepted entirely the failure that I thought I was.
I took a break from college. I didn’t know who I was anymore and I for sure knew I wasn’t who I was previously. He was long gone and every time I went searching for him, he could not be found. With this feeling, I took a job at Costco. I just needed some consistency in my life and I thought a job would be perfect. It would distract me and I could make a little cash on the side. Who was I when I went to work for Costco though? I rejected who I was before, but I wasn’t familiar with who I was now. The person who I became, his name is Can, pronounced Khan. I took this name and this name represented the pathetic mold that I was. It became a part of me that showcased the beatings done by the depression and sadness.
Hi, my name is Khan. How may I help you? This was my new way of greeting. I didn’t know who this Khan was but this name became a part of me that reminded me who I wasn’t. It reminded me that I had lost myself to this world and now the world had its grip on me and I was lost in the maze of the sad world. My given name is Zhong Can. In Chinese, phonetically, zh is a j, o is a long o, and the c is a weird combination of t and s (ts), and short a after. Zhong Can. I took Khan over Can because I hated just the sound of Can, soda can. It was terrible! Zhong Can is the name the world gave me and it means brilliant. It’s silly how my name became an oxymoron. I went through this season believing the exact opposite.
This Is Who I Am :
My parents, the gifts from God, cannot speak Chinese at all and they butchered it when they tried pronouncing my name. It came out as Donton. You must understand that this name was the heavenly name given to me by the gifts that were my parents though! Without them I wouldn’t be alive, so I loved this name because it represents life new life given to me. When the whole world had rejected me at birth, it was these people who gave me this silly name but the silly name came with a fresh and loving life! Sadly, this was the name that died. I had rejected my righteous name.
My name is not Khan. Khan is the name that represented my weakness. It represented my inability to fight the depression and how I allowed myself to reject my former name because I didn’t think I deserved it and I thought my former was dead. It is the version that was ignorant of Christ’s salvation. Khan is now the name I see of my former self and I laugh at it. I am in awe at the sheer power of healing which God has done in me. I am grateful for the sheer amount of will He provided to overcome some of the worst doubts of depression. Khan now gives me confidence and I do not mind it anymore because it doesn’t represent my rejection of my former self. It represents how the world attempted to drag me down, and how I persevered. Khan represents how close I was to suffering eternal damnation and fire but now I am living in eternal life.
My Identity :
My name is Zhong Can, also known as Donton. I am saved and God loves me. It took me three years to finally accept my true identity. It wasn’t my control that led to me finding myself again, it was Jesus Christ and never again will I reject the name that was a blessing given to me. If you are my friend, call me Donton. Call me Donton knowing who my true identity is. I am proud of this name and this is who I am. I am a loving child of the God Almighty and Jesus Christ is my savior.
Pain, sorrow, death is what defined my past. Salvation, Eternity, Everlasting is what has been guaranteed to me in the future. Peace, Love, Tranquility is what represents my present state I’m experiencing because of Jesus. I have given my past to God the Father, the sorrow and the joys. My future has been laid out and the Holy Spirit will have it happen that way. During this season of calmness, through Jesus Christ, I can live fully in the present not entrapped in the past nor controlled by the future. I am allowed freely to be happy now knowing Jesus Christ is alive and moving now. Why do you wish God to change the past when it has already happened? Who in their right mind would pray so much about the future as to stay stuck dwelling on the fears of the future and their uncertainties?
Being focused so much on the future takes away your ability to enjoy the blessings of today. It takes away the reason why Jesus Christ sacrificed himself, which is to allow us to live freely and love freely now and forever. The future will be taken care of, and the past has been received with grace. Time is one of the concepts that has controlled much of humanities pride. The way we perceive time makes it hard for many nonbelievers to justify there is a God. I assure you, our God lives beyond this time. He is this time, and the past, and the future flowing through all and being at all times. That is the beauty of God’s omnipresence. We are given an opportunity through Jesus Christ to live through Him now. To enjoy the blessings at this present state.
The Parking Ticket :
First, let me share a story about a parking ticket and then a view of time. I am a college student who takes the park and ride most of the time. I do it because it’s free but it requires a student ID. There are some days that I have forgotten my student ID. At the time I arrive at the university there are two possible solutions: To pay 9 bucks to park in the parking structure or to park for free on the curb. The risk of parking on the curb is if I overstay I may get a 25 dollar ticket for parking too long. There are three important stages of time that will be important in the understanding of my perspective of time.
Point One :
The first stage is the point where I have to make the decision to either pay 9 bucks or to park for free with the risk of being ticketed. At that point, I will either lose 9 or lose nothing. I chose to lose nothing and parked in the free parking.
The second stage is the point where I come back to the car to see if I got a parking ticket. At that point, I either know I lost 25 dollars or have lost nothing. What happened when I made the initial decision does not affect whether or not I have lost 25 dollars or have lost nothing at this point in time. I found out that I did indeed get a ticket of 25 dollars. Now I am at the point where I lost 25 dollars.
Period One :
The third stage occurs after the second stage after taking into account the first stage and the previous two times I’ve gone through this. The previous two times I parked in the free parking, I did not receive a ticket. During the second stages of those two times, I did not lose money. During the second stage of the time I got a ticket, I knew I had lost 25 dollars.
What if I didn’t get a ticket though? I would have gained nine bucks because I didn’t spend it in the parking structure. However, I only understood I lost 25 dollars or gained 9 bucks because I took into consideration what occurred with stage one. Additionally, with a three-point period, I paid 25 dollars for three parking days. Therefore, I ended up paying less if I were to have gone through the safe route and paid 9 dollars each time I forgot my ID. It would make sense that I should risk parking in the free parking right if given a time period I’d be saving money.
Time and the feelings and decisions associated with times exist because there are two points of time we consider. A single point of time at the moment you make a decision is independent of the past or the future. We do not know what will happen in the future, nor do we know what will happen given the past. That is not saying that the past does not affect the present or the future prospects will affect the present. What I am saying is the single time point is independent regardless of what happened given all other conditions are not considered.
Time, as we know it exists because we have two points to compare. If we did not have two points but had one point then time is obsolete since that point in time would be the only state that we are familiar with. Time can control people whether it be the past or present. It is the events that have happened in the past that brings perspective and can infect the present. It could also be the worries and uncertainty of the future that negatively affects the present. We must live in a constant state of mindful living in the present through Jesus. When we can do this then it makes it so we do not have to worry about the past or future because we have given dominion of it over to Christ.
Live Now :
An example is tithing. Tithes are financial offerings to the church. For many people, they are not in a financial situation that allows tithing to be easy. I am a college student and I have no money laying around! However, at the moment that I am asked to sacrifice what straps many to the world (money), I am overfilled with a willingness to give everything I have. Many people at the time of offering are of course in a similar scenario. What has caused me to not give as much as I should is not the present point of offering, but the future uncertainties. It is whether or not I will be provided with enough money to live through the week. It is when this idea creeps into my head which yields me to think, “Maybe I don’t need to offer anything this week”.
We all want to offer at that moment, but it is the insecurities of the future that hinders me. However, if I live all for that moment then it doesn’t hurt me. The future has not arrived yet and at that present moment I am still provided. My uncertainties of the future is a result of my worries about not being provided enough in the future. It does not come from not having enough at the present point.
Now, when we are focused on the sadness of the past, we are openly inviting the spirit of offense to infiltrate our present moment. How can you live in the present with love if you are openly inviting the spirit of offense? You can’t, and if you do then you are not living in love.
Being stuck in the past or worried about the future hinders our ability to feel Jesus Christ now. When we are so focused on whether or not we will be secured in the future, we are ignoring God’s promise to fulfill us with all of our needs inorder to fulfill our spiritual desires. Matthew 6:34. The past and the future must be associated directly with the works of Jesus Christ. Testimonies from your past in context of Jesus expects for Him to do it again in the people you are ministering to. Assurance of the future in context of Jesus expects him to provide always so that you may live fully in the Present Moment. The “free parking” is the salvation and eternal life Jesus is. It is not an easy decision and you will be judge and prosecuted. It is not the safe way out. You pay a great deal by taking the safe way out by not proclaiming Jesus. You might think it will be safer at that moment, but in the end you will be hurt. Salvation is the riskiest decision you can make and many have died for it and many more will die to spread Him. However when you do, then you’ll have made a choice that is beyond time. You’ll have made a choice which will earn you eternal salvation due to your faithfulness in Jesus Christ. Live now and prosper through Jesus.
The first thing you have got to understand about Dom is that he is a clear product of God’s Love. He was not saved when I first met him. I didn’t even know he went to church when I first met him. When I met him at the church on Christmas Eve, he was going through a difficult break with his girlfriend at the time. God had told her that she should not date Dom because Dom was not saved. It was hard because Dom really loved her and she really loved Dom. Dom was saved during this breakup period though, and they got back together. This shows that sometimes things happen for a reason and although we may feel hurt, the truth is that we aren’t and the path is still paved for us to walk to get us to the point of salvation.
Dom is handsome and he dresses nice too. You could say that Dom was everything I wasn’t and I envied that. He was good at singing, played instruments, had really cool tattoos and helped me get my first. He was just ideal. I wonder why Sarah ever broke up with him in the first place but then again, I barely understand myself. None of that matters to me though because striving to be like Dom would pull me farther from Christ and my true identity in Him. God wants us to know who our real identity is and to use our Gifts to make us the best us we can be. We are the engineers who specialize in our skills He has blessed us with.
Soon after receiving the invitation I met the first people who I’d come to adore. They were a lovely young couple brimming with an adopting aura of love. To me, Glen and Heather were the mother and father our group. Most importantly there existed a sense of responsibility whom God had blessed them with. They possessed a responsibility of adoption that gave them heavenly rights to raise children who have had no contact with God to be fully embraced in God’s love. I was welcomed and adopted into those two homes instantly and I was happy.
As soon as I walked in I naturally got anxious, but it was relieved as soon as I talked to Glen. Glen is an easy guy to talk to and he was always engaged with you. Anxiety was flushed away. Heather is an incredible and beautiful woman with a good natural welcoming heart. I was so blown away when she offered to make me tea! I’m not sure what I was expecting from these two people but I was beyond satisfied. I was calm and at peace with my cup of chamomile tea.
Future Bros, and Pizza Girl Ray :
Two of my closest friends would appear that day. I would not know it because I am afraid of tall people and these were two VERY tall people. Kennen, also known as K-dog, is a great friend of mine and he is my brother in arms. He is knowledgeable and is seeking the Word fervently. That night, I gave my spiritual experience and I remember clearly he was intrigued. I could tell that he understood how real it was to me and got really excited for me. I did not know that day that he would be one of my closest bros.
Nate, also known as Nate Wood, is one who embodies God’s grace honestly. He is fire and fury when it comes to His love. I find this part admirable and I wish to become a leader like him one day. He is also tall. Regardless of their height, Nate and Kennen would become my bros in the future. The strangest thing happened in the middle of the night.
This tiny girl, Ray, also known as Cousin of Kennen, came in with her work clothes on and a Domino’s pizza. She sat down and ate that WHOLE fricken pizza! Incredible. How much does she hunger for the Lord if she hungers this much for pizza, I thought. Ray is really nice and I love the way she doesn’t back down. She is a fierce fighter indeed. I remember thinking to myself, how similar she was in character to Ray from Star Wars. I learned instantly that she loves her Corgi, and all corgis while at that. Also, don’t call her Rachel, she doesn’t like that name.
The facilitator was a woman named Courtney and she was the core of the group. No one gives her enough credit for keeping the group together and growing it. She is a great teacher, friend, and communicator. She holds everyone accountable for their attendance and checks up on us if we do not show up. Although Dom was the one who brought me, it was truly Courtney who kept me coming back. She is diligent in this and because of her dedication to God, I know she will find success in whatever she is doing in life. She is a great woman who has started a nonprofit for single teenage mothers.
Sarah, also known as Sarah-I, was the one giving the message that day. She is one of the strongest women I know and her testimony is powerful. She has gone through a lot and her ability to share her testimony with great strength and confidence to strangers is enduring to this day. I wouldn’t expect anything less from her. She is the reason why I am not afraid to speak. Her message was emotional and I relate to every bit of it. I was crying underneath the shades of my pride. Her story was so honest I wish I did not have felt the need to hide my crying. I wish I could have shown her my compassion by crying.
The Rest :
There is so much to tell about each and every one of these people. I could write a whole article on each of them. All of their stories and testimonies are real and empowering. They are awakening to the spirit and provide a glimmer of hope to those who seek. There are many more people who were that night, but it is these people who made that night memorable. The message was powerful and the night was filled with the aura of Jesus. Healings happened and testimonies were shared.
As soon as I walked into the doors of the church you could tell from my awkwardness that I did not fit in. On most days, other peoples perception and judgments would be the first thing on my mind. Anxiety and just feeling like I’m not fitting in would have crowded my mind. Today was different because of two things. It was Christmas Eve and I was there with my brother and his wife and for the first time, I wanted to be there. There were no feelings of obligations, but rather I was desiring something to happen. I expected something extraordinarily to take place and expectations were beyond met.
I was skeptical of church and what it represented. It was very interesting to see the majestic traditional Catholic churches that my parents grew up with and the enormous contemporary churches of the newer age. Stepping into a traditional Catholic church fills you with this sense of humbleness because in it, you were small and everything around you was adorned with God’s touch. It always felt surreal.
The church that I was visiting was contemporary in that it wasn’t like the traditional church. It was very basic and nothing striking and the power came not from the ornaments in the church, but rather the rejoicing voices and spirits of the believers within. This feeling, I thought I could get used to. I’m not a big fan of materialistic goods because goods eventually diminish. To me, things that are not materialistic will stay forever.
I know it was Christmas Eve, but the aura of the church was supernatural and you cannot give credit to a holiday. I felt a sense of acceptance and excitement. Those are words that rightfully describe Christianity. Unfortunately, to those outside the truth, Christianity represents the exact opposite. I felt that way for a long time but there was always something deeper to Christianity that I was attracted to and I grew that something that day.
I’m not sure if my pastor saves the best sermon for Christmas and Easter, but that seriously what this sermon felt like. We sat on the upper balcony and I was crying within 10 minutes of worship. The first song that really spoke to my heart was Reckless Love by Cory Asbury. It called to action for my heart to cry not in sadness, but in happiness. Now everyone seems to have Reckless Love as their favorite song, but this song really did mean something special to me. It was the song that made me realize that it was okay to cry.
Sometimes crying can be seen as weakness in society, but I believe it is a value that is not appreciated enough. Whether it is for happiness or sadness, crying shows extreme amounts feelings. They include empathy, happiness, gratefulness, sadness, and everything like that. It empowers the individual to feel what they feel to the fullest. Sometimes it can hurt us when we are sad. However, when you are happy it becomes the catalyst that propels you to remember the past.
In the case of this service, I was flooded with memories of uselessness, regret, sadness, helplessness, and plain weakness. The tears flowing from my eyes were happy tears. I realized that those feelings were fights that took place in the past that I overcame. The fact that I was alive and thirsting for Him was evident that I am beyond blessed.
God’s Way :
From the night that I was called to be his Warrior, I wanted to be engaged with him with one hundred percent effort. My brother was part of a group at the church and he suggested that I find my group. The idea sounded nice but mustering up the courage to actually move forward was difficult. I didn’t know anyone in the church! My brother directed me towards Jordan. Jordan is the youth pastor and is just full of energy. Sometimes, it can be intimidating when you are shy but it is very contagious.
I awkwardly stumbled towards him and introduced myself. Remembering it makes me cringe every time. I didn’t know how to talk to people! Here I was, telling him to set me up with God! The thing is, sometimes we think there are easy and set ways to meet Christ but there isn’t. I’ve come to believe that you must trust in Him to allow Him to set you up with Him. That is not saying that you don’t have to be proactive. I’m saying God’s way will be different from your way. Trust in that. It turns out that when I gave Jordan my phone number, he never contacted me. I was waiting for the call but it never came. Something greater happened.
As soon as I made my awkward exchange with Jordan, I actually saw some very good friends from work! I was so excited to see them at this church that I was called to go to. It would be this man, Dominic, that would bring me to the arms of a new family. This was a family centered around God. It would be a family that I could call upon when times are weak and when I could be called upon when my siblings were weak. Even though Jordan had never called me back, there was another brother in arms who did more than call me. He brought me hand in hand to the gates of his Kingdom. He was the brother who helped me overcome my anxiety to bring me to fellowship with Him.
I do not know what would have happened if Jordan would have called me back. It could have resulted in something amazing or it could result in nothing. What I do know is that my destined meeting with Dominic meant more to me now than what could have happened with Jordan. I would have it no other way to come into fellowship with Jesus Christ. The path set forth by the Lord for you to follow is unknown to us but our God knows it very well. This is the path that I trust. If I were to force my “path” it could have been detrimental to our relationship. I may take the opportunity for God to work in my life.
Pray, Receive, Carry Through :
We all fall victim to believing that our “path” is right. Sometimes we may be confused and believe that our “path” is the path being told from God. Worse, sometimes we are tricked into our “path” and we justify it. This confusion will usually lead to a dark place. The only way to really know our path is to ask and to keep asking for more. Not only ask, but to listen and to listen deeply. Then when we have listened to Him, we have to act and to act always with Him as our purpose. It is a process of molding you into His helper, but it is a cycle and it becomes easier with experience. I have found that when we act for him, it is easier to then ask more from him. Through Jesus Christ, our tapping of his power and usage of his Love is only limited by our own actions.
Today we celebrate a special holiday that is dear to everyone’s heart. Because today is Thanksgiving, and everyone with a little bit of searching can find something to be thankful for. This is my story.
There’s really a lot to be thankful for in life, but sometimes life can construe what we should be thankful for. We may feel life happening too fast to realize what we should really be thankful for. This includes the small and the big stuff. I’m a strong believer in appreciating the small so you can mindfully enjoy life’s pleasant moments during every part of the day.
If you had to ask me what I was most thankful for in my entire life for this year, then I would struggle to find an answer for the reason stated above. However, there was a moment today when I realized what my heart truly was most thankful for this year. It is beyond any doubt, grace. Grace is really hard to define. When I asked my sister what God’s grace is and what it meant to her I realized that our definitions didn’t match up. There is nothing wrong with that but it made me realize what God’s grace meant to me even more. God’s grace is the same for everyone but how we interpret it and experience His grace is up to us.
Grace To Me :
To me, grace was my Father’s desire to be with me and to call me His child as I call out to him as my Father with His truest identity residing in me. God’s grace to me was the constant portrayal of love towards me which overpowered any and all blasphemy coming from my sinful spirit. This, to me, is the saving grace that I needed because for a while I believed I was undeserving of His love.
What led me to believe this way was my constant testing of God’s identity and my ignorant blasphemy of Him. To me, there is no greater sin than blasphemy because blasphemy is not of this earth and it is a direct attack on God coming from our spirit of which our God has blessed us with. It is a teenage rebellious phase. I knew how powerful God’s love was to overcome my sin, but coming to terms with it was difficult.
God’s grace saved me because even though I made my mistakes, He saw me not for my actions but for my love and my potential to spread His love. I cannot express how thankful I am. It is this undeserving power and strength that allows me to walk in confidence each day. I walk in confidence through Christ because of my faith that if I fall, God’s grace will catch me before I fall and hit the pits of the abyss. Knowing this allows me to live my life to the maximum awareness of the little things in life.
Power of Grace :
God doesn’t leave His children forgotten because we are His most loved. It was God’s grace that put Scott in my life to save me from suicide. It was God’s grace that put Scott in my life while I was eating Chicken and Kale in the Panda Express dining area at the University of Minnesota – Twin CIties. God’s graceful charity allowed me to see how much love there was that was within my reach. I was impoverished and filled with anger and hate but it was God’s grace that eased me.
Above all else, it was God’s grace that put Redre Nelach in my life as a friend. Nelach was like no one else and she was embodied with the full armor of God. She was brilliantly lit up with His spirit and ran steadfast into the darkness of souls. Perhaps it was this trait that I found most admirable. I once told my group leader, “The longer you stare into the stars of the night, the more stars you will see.” Very few people understand this and even a smaller percentage live by this. Nelach was one who stared into the darkness of all souls to see the Lod’s light.
Champion of Grace :
Nelach was a champion of God’s grace and expressed wholeheartedly it. I fell in love with this. When I met her, I had just come back from the Twin Cities and I lost all my friends and never bothered to make new ones. I never would have thought that God’s grace would put her in my life, yet He did. For that, I am extremely thankful. Nelach made me smile on days when even lifting my eyes was hard. A radiant of energy spread from her chest as if it was about to burst.
I learned a great deal from her. Nelach has reminded me what life was and what God could provide. When I didn’t believe in myself, she believed in me. When I didn’t see good in myself, she saw the good in me! What is God’s grace but not that! Nelach must never know what she means to me because she has served God’s Will in my life beyond our Fathers expectation. For that, I am thankful. During my weakest moments, she provided graceful charity to a soul yearning.
She became the personification of Jesus Christ’s Living Hope on earth. I saw in her, what I hadn’t seen in anyone on earth. When all else failed, it was her that taught me during my hardest battles :
“You know how in winter everything seems so dead? Although everything looks dead, the trees’ roots are growing deeper. They are becoming stronger.”
Living with Grace :
God’s grace has saved me from the depths of hell and has raised me to become a champion for the weak like Nelach. If I can become half the man as Nelach was then I would be much satisfied. This is what I’m most thankful for this year. Realizing the significance of grace and how it has filled me with holy energy as it did with Nelach is what I’m most thankful for. Because of Redre Nelach, I am able to live every day to the fullest. I am willing to ride steadfast into the darkest of nights to lend a helping hand. God bless her and God bless the seeds she nourishes. I am her seed and for that, I am most thankful for.
I want to challenge you to view what I’m about to share with you with an open heart. I want to try an exercise where you envision yourself as an engineer. Picture yourself as an engineer. If you don’t know what an engineer is then I can describe what it means to be an engineer to me. Understanding how an engineer works to solve problems can help us in our daily lives to live a life where our problems can easily be solved.
Throughout elementary school, I was taught the main subjects: Math, Science, Social Studies, English, Art, and Gym. I’m sure that unless you go to a special school then you may have encountered a curriculum like mine. The problem with the curriculum is that it doesn’t really have any practical use beyond the classroom. You could argue that Gym could teach you to be physical. Art could teach you to be creative. English could teach you to communicate. Social Studies could teach you to visualize. Science could teach you discovery. Math could teach you patterns.
The current education system was developed and structured to answer the demands for manufacturing jobs and the education system’s purpose really hasn’t changed much then. All these skills are necessary for life, but what are skills unless you have a purpose for them? This is what I mean when I say that it isn’t a curriculum practical for real life. Unless you have the inherent skill to solve a creative problem with creativity, then being creative is “practically” useless in the sense of solving creative problems.
You are not introduced to what engineering is until you get a formal education beyond primary school. An engineer is not limited to a specific field like electrical or mechanical. In fact, engineers can range from all sorts of fields: biomedical, chemistry, agriculture, water, civil, and many others. The specific knowledge relating to each field of engineering is independent of each other and it is not what makes an engineer an engineer.
An Engineer :
To me, an engineer is a professional who uses known processes and procedures to develop a product or solution that solves an applicable problem. They give solutions to real-world problems. Engineer is less concerning of the knowledge of their domain but rather the way of thinking when it comes to tackling problems. Solution-oriented thinking with knowledge of the limitations imposed.
Holy Body :
The reason why I bring this topic up isn’t to bore you but to show you what the kingdom of heaven truly is. The kingdom of heaven is one body through Christ. Each cell in the body of Christ is interconnected to Him, our savior, and to other fellow cells or Christians. Each cell, as you probably have guessed, is truly an engineer. The engineer can be of various fields depending on the skills as you can see with the various different types of earthly engineers. Each cell will have the unique strength they possess.
Not everyone is supposed to be one specific type of engineer. What makes the body of Christ the strongest is the diversity in our engineers. What is most important about the body of Christ is not the individual’s cell’s specific skills but rather the fact that each cell in the body of Christ is operating like an engineer with the same processes and procedures set in place by our Father. If the body of Christ can do this in unison, then we will be stronger together. As long as we find our specific engineer domain and work diligently using the processes and procedures set forth by our Father then we will surely find success.
The Blueprint :
Our processes and procedures on how to structure our problem-solving skills relating to navigating life have been set forth by Jesus Christ alone. There are two fundamental ones. Love your God. Love your neighbor. We maximize our innate abilities when we follow those processes and procedures. Engineers are the problem solvers and the problems are plenty of the world. Sin, nonbelievers, enemies, and many more.
“This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.”
Traps of the Earth :
We live in a society filled with traps tormenting us to do wrong. To think the wrong way! To follow false idols and their processes and procedures even though we know are wrong but still fall prey to. Money, sexuality (men and women), greed, gluttony, and sadly many more. The most dangerous trap is our mind and humanly wisdom. When we proclaim our wisdom as just and decree our own processes and procedures over the Father’s, then that is period when we are trapped the most!
There is none but one way to remove the trap surrounding us! It is Jesus Christ and his Commandments for us! It is the sacred covenant He has made so we are allowed to love abundantly without being held back. Will you accept the covenant as to remove the traps that are waiting for you? When you accept his covenant then no trap will be set off or harm you when you traverse them.
Have you not heard that if you get slapped in the cheek, then you should turn the other one too? We fight the problems of the world not through our own processes and procedures, but with the first two fundamental commandments! This is truly beginning of healing for the wounded hearts who have been plagued by the world.
Untapped Potential :
Know that every enemy you deem an enemy is little to you but to our God, the enemy is His righteous child. The enemy is just lost and not found. It is our duty as radical Christians to engineer a world that fulfills his Will on earth as it is in Heaven through the framework in which Christ has provided for us to overcome darkness. When you want to defeat an enemy who sets traps around you, you best put the most powerful and divine trap within you. This way of living life is what separates Radical Christians because the Lord knows that it is very difficult to live with his most holy trap in you. However, our Father also knows it’s much easier to when we have Jesus Christ as our anchor.
The cells of the body of Christ are indeed God’s helper and we are on this planet to do far more than being scientists trying to do nothing but create problems from problems. We get nowhere if we do that. We are sent to fix the darkness that plagues this world and to bring light to all so all can see by the Word and our righteous battle through Jesus Christ.