Neelam Challoner is the Founder of Designer Life Coaching, Expert in Re-designing lives/careers, in welfare to work sector, youth and HNWI's to live less stressed & more congruently. Her mission is to build and inspire people to live out their purpose and design their life.
Have you considered taking on a Life Coach to help you ‘be’ and live a life that you desire? Ponder this question for just a moment; on a scale of 1-10 how truly happy or satisfied are you with your life right now? Be honest. What is the number?
For those who are at a 10, that is super, this article has you in mind too…read on
One of the great lessons that we learn from the world of sports is that WINNERS EMPLOY COACHES AND LOSERS DO NOT! If an athlete is determined to win, one of the first things they do is look for a good coach; someone that can help them develop a winning strategy, sharpen their skills and support them in training as well as in competition. The same principle holds true in life; winners usually win because they develop around them a winning team. You have heard the saying: “It takes team work to make the dream work!” Well it is true no matter what the dream. You may already have an accountant, a lawyer, a financial advisor or a Personal Trainer on your team but when you bring a Life Coach on board, it puts you in the league of some of the most productive and balanced people in the world.
There is a huge rise in celebrities taking on life coaches in the last two decades and perhaps even before that, but it was more elitist and unknown back then.
Below is an excerpt from an article in the Elite Daily
It’s simply a celebrity’s profession that separates them from us “regular” folk. Believe it or not, they still experience the same challenges and emotions you and I go through on a daily basis.
They too can feel fear and can get overwhelmed. It’s also no secret that celebrities can have issues with money, health and relationships.
The use of a life coach has helped many celebrities work through roadblocks they encounter to take their lives to the next level. Other than their notoriety, celebrities are no different from anyone else. Just because they can be easily recognized on the streets doesn’t mean they’re not fighting an internal battle.
“What is a life coach?” you ask. A life coach is someone who helps you reach your goals and make changes in your life. And these celebrities know how to use them.
Oprah Winfrey, Hugh Jackman, Leonardo DiCaprio, Serena Williams, Nia Long, Bill Clinton, Andre Agassi and many more.
Have you wondered how your current life whether privileged, boring, successful or monotonous can still be transformed to one that is truly incredible?
Jennifer Aniston, Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz, Sandra Bullock and Angelina Jolie are all strong, independent women who have succeeded in their careers with a little bit of help from a life coach. If you are a strong independent woman have you thought how you could be even more fulfilled or content?
Tiger Woods, Brad Pitt, Michael Phelps and George Clooney are all highly successful in their fields and have all consulted a life coach to help them focus on and achieve their goals. At the heart of it all lays the idea that people must be given the power to help themselves.
Actress Nia Long who came to fame on “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,” learned how to live a fulfilling and joyful life after some sessions with her life coach and Danny Bonaduce, who was famous for his role on “The Partridge Family,” with the help of a life coach before becoming a coach himself.
The main benefits of life coaching come in the form of the four C’s which are: Clarity, Control, Confidence and Courage
Take the road less travelled and live an extraordinary life.
Do you feel you would or could do more if fear didn’t hold you hostage?
Do you hold back on doing things or taking risks?
Do you feel left behind because of fear?
In my work, I often engage in conversations where fear plays a major part in a person’s wellbeing and almost always, it hinders them from progressing or taking steps that could change their life.
You may have heard of the Acronym Fear is
FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL
I find this to be true especially having now taken the plunge and seen the other side of fear. Some people have a fear of failure and some have a fear of success. If you have fear, you are not alone. Fear is normal, but it’s what you do about it that matters.
Fear can lead to stress. It can make you freeze, fight or flight. You must notice the difference between dangerous fear where you know you are putting yourself in literal danger or where it impacts your health and good fear that stretches or challenges you
I do believe our bodies and brains can cope with stress and fear. I feel we are designed to overcome them through our thoughts and actions
I take my growth seriously, although, if I am honest there are some things I can change quickly and other areas where I feel like am going at a snail’s pace. As a result I have been doing some self-reflection and coaching myself to identify what truly holds me back in some areas.
Fear is one thing that holds me back in certain areas of my life and also has caused some stress or anxiety. However, I have so much evidence to know that I can overcome it. So I am going to share my personal conquests of fear with you.
I am not a great swimmer and never go out of my depth. I panic when water is on my face, I cannot stand the claustrophobic feeling of being under water which also makes me panic. Yet I have done two scuba dives, snorkelling many times and even water rafting.
To someone else they may seem like small things, but to me, they were big achievements.
I passed my driving test in 1995 drove around confidently and then got a job working in Ibiza. I never drove for several years and when I came back to the UK I found I had lost my confidence. After I was married, I said to my husband I want to drive again and so we went car hunting and I ended up with a little roadster. I ‘felt the fear and did it anyway’
The freedom and independence that returned to me because of driving is incredible. The adventure of trying something like scuba diving and white water rafting is thrilling and really added to my experience in life.
I ran my first seminar a few years ago feeling fearful of messing up or not having enough people. But I did it. It was liberating, fun and might I say a success. The feedback was 100% positive.
So how did I do it? It took courage, confidence and clarity
Fear v Experience– I knew if I didn’t have the fear, I would enjoy doing that very activity and have a richer experience. I had to step out with courage.
Support Partners-I had people around me to support me. My husband understood me; he was patient and encouraging while helping me get back on the road. Truth is, I was, and am, a pretty good driver. My friends who dove with me were my cheerleaders and gave me a hand to hold every step of the way. They celebrated when I had done the dive and were thrilled when I also did the white water rafting with them. I felt safe and felt loved in both situations.
Belief-I had faith that everything was going to be well. I believed that I could do it, but I also know that people around me also helped me believe.
Values and Importance-I knew that fear was holding me back from doing things and living out my life. This mattered to me. It mattered to me that I could go grocery shopping in my car. It mattered that I was mobile and it mattered to me that I experience scuba diving with my friends and be able to share that memory for years to come. I had clarity on why this was important to me.
Self-talk and Visualisation-I told myself that I could do it and pictured my experiences in a positive way each time in my imagination. Even if I felt fear, I overcame it with my words and through visualising.
I recently attended a webinar about ‘fear’ here are a couple of questions the host asked that may help you identify some fears and missed opportunities;
What would you do, if you had no or little fear?
What opportunities are you not pursuing because of?
What would you do if you could overcome just 50% of your fears or worries?
Truth is, fear is common and normal; it’s what you do about it.
You have most likely heard similar messages before and per
haps even several times through different modes, but I am writing this from my soul today as we all need to hear a message over and every now and then it reappears at a time when we need it most.
In each of us is placed the seed of greatness. That includes you. I have the seed and so do you. We all have the potential to be amazing, to be a difference maker, to change society, to change how we live, to reform a city, to bring hope to the hopeless, to be prosperous and so much more.
But let’s be honest…
How often do you think of the greatness that is within you?
How much do you really believe in yourself and is it consistent?
What dream seeds do you have that are still lying unwatered?
Who tells you on a regular basis about the potential that is in you?
Who do you have in your life that is helping you build your dream or best invention?
For some, you may be fortunate to have a positive force in your life to remind you of your ability, of your dream and support you, if you do, that is wonderful! Go out and do it.
For others that may not be the case, as your identity and potential becomes obscured by your own limiting thoughts, fears, excuses and life experiences.
I have sadly seen in households where negativity is the main course and digital distractions are the dessert. And silently, unconsciously, individuals are starved of verbal affirmations, encouragement and the inspiration to be their best self and to unleash the potential that is lying within them.
My message to you today is, don’t let this happen to you or your families. Don’t go another day or week in obscurity, having wrong beliefs about you. Shake off any regrets. Let go of past mistakes. Release the negative comments from others, and swat away the draining opinion of mediocrity, flick them away like a mosquito.
I have had to do my fair share of this recently, the truth is, the true ‘me’ began to appear as I questioned my own thoughts. I feel like a butterfly that is emerging from the confinement of a dark cocoon, where change was taking place in isolation.
Something inside of me said ‘push’
Now in slow motion I am pushing out of my confines, my perceived limitations and I am going to arise to my next level in life.
I urge and encourage everyone who is reading this who has felt lost, forgotten or stagnant; it is time to believe in the seeds that have been planted in you and begin allowing those seeds to grow.
7 ways to grow your seed of greatness
Water the seeds by speaking positively over your potential, your dreams and ideas
Feed the soil the right nutrients, so read, learn and grow in the area or subject that you want to excel in. Good soil means seeds will take root and flourish
Write the vision down of what you want to become and do
Do you wake up feeling energised and ready to start the day? Or with a groan?
Do you fall asleep easily and stay asleep?
Do you have disrupted sleep through the night?
Last month I spent five days at a sleep retreat. After more than a decade of suffering from cycles of insomnia I had reached the end of my tether.
I was so tired of feeling tired! My lack of sleep was impacting on my focus, on my health and on my productivity.
I would go to bed and not be able to fall asleep, and this would only get harder as, the later it got, the more I anxious I became about the fact that I had to get up for business in the morning. Only occasionally can I recall a morning where I was able to just jump out of bed feeling recuperated or re-energised.
I’m far from being alone. According to the Stress Management Society, over 35% of the population currently suffers from insomnia or another sleep disorder. One person on the sleep retreat goes out like a light but regularly wakes up at 2, 3, 4 or 5am and cannot get back to sleep.
Bad sleep is both a cause and a symptom of stress. It affects both mental and physical health. Many people end up self-medicating – having a large glass of wine to “unwind”, spending the evening surfing the internet or watching TV, none of which actually helps.
Sleep is essential for energy, health, productivity, and emotional balance. And most people don’t get nearly enough.
The way you feel, think and act during your waking hours hinges on how well you sleep at night. Similarly, your daytime habits can seriously impact the quality and quantity of sleep you get at night.
From a workplace perspective, lack of sleep can have a negative impact on employees; it can make employees fatigued and therefore less motivated and less productive.
As I was experiencing some of this personally and I also knew some of my clients do too, I headed off to a beautiful village called Warnford in Hampshire to The Sleep Retreat. It’s a therapeutic getaway that combines exercise, fresh air, diet, alternative therapies (such as massage) and one-to-one and group cognitive behavioural therapy that is specifically designed to tackle insomnia. Their work has been described as life-changing.
I had to keep a sleep diary the week running up to the retreat and calculate my average sleep per night. I was then given a sleep schedule that I had to follow for between four to six weeks following the retreat to see a difference.
It was a fascinating insight into the physiology of sleep. For example, asking ourselves: What am I? Sleepy tired or fatigued? Sleepy tired is when you can put your head down and fall asleep within moments. Fatigued is when you feel tired mentally and perhaps physically and need to rest, it also could be when you feel foggy and just want to rest, but you wouldn’t fall asleep instantly.
I realise that what I often felt during the day was fatigued and not sleepy tired.
The retreat is all about promoting a good nights sleep, but it’s visually stunning as well. Rooms are decked out in The White Company, with pillows and mattresses to suit preference: soft, medium and firm. Meals are freshly prepared with herbal teas and water from the natural spring bottled daily for your room. There is evening entertainment aimed at “relaxing your mind in ways that you may not be used to”, and I enjoyed thetalks, live music and poetry and even an art class. All in about 70 acres of greenery.
If you were to ask your friends what lies at the top of their list of concerns, I guarantee that money will feature. Worrying about money, or lack thereof, keeps many people in a constant state of stress. However, there are some simple steps you can take to reduce financial worry.
FreeDigitalPhotos.net Photo by jesadaphorn
Easier said than done, but when it comes to financial worry, or indeed worry of any kind, not facing up to the issue can be the cause of at least 50% of your stress. In your mind the issue may feel insurmountable, making you feel reluctant to combat it. But actually, we will feel more stressed sat thinking about a problem, than we will actually doing something about it. In most cases, the issue is not as bad as we imagine.
Track your spending
Take the client who came to me a few years ago with concerns about her spending. I asked her to keep a spending diary; much like you would a food diary, for a couple of weeks. To her horror, she discovered that she had been spending almost £1,000 a month on food. I then asked her to look at how much of that food was being thrown away. We discovered that she was throwing away a whopping 40% of the food that she was buying. In financial terms, this was £400!
Do an audit
Every year I look at all my direct debits: utility bills, energy supply, TV, phone and broadband and find the cheapest deal. There are so many websites now that help you look for the cheapest deal, that it really doesn’t take that long. If you end up saving over £80 on your breakdown insurance (which I did this year) you will feel extremely pleased with yourself!
For more complicated sums, such as mortgages and investments, it could be useful to talk to a trained advisor. Ask around friends and colleagues to get a recommendation of where your money is best placed.
Pay off debt
Lots of people keep a savings account topped up, alongside loaded credit cards. From a purely financial perspective this does not make sense. By paying off all your debts, even if that means making some steep sacrifices on what you do with your spare time, all the money you earn after bills will become disposable income, and that will feel good!
Is there an emotional issue at fault?
In the clients that I see who want help getting their finances in order we nearly always discover an emotional reason for their spending. It’s usually compensating for a part of their lives they are unhappy with. Addressing this can solve the overspending.
Some people are put off the idea of life coaching because they think it’s akin to sitting on a psychiatrists’ couch
Psychiatrist With Patient by Ambro courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net
It’s nothing like it.
Therapy often involves exploring painful feelings or difficult decisions, including delving deep into your past to discover the root cause of your current mental or physical health concerns. Usually accessed through a medical route, i.e. a referral through your GP, therapy seeks to address deep-rooted trauma that continues to have an affect on the present day. There are many different types of therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or Relationship Therapy, for instance. Therapy can be accessed anything from daily to weekly and sometimes for many years
Life coaching, on the other hand, is a much more targeted approach to a specific problem or goal, and is usually focused on creating an immediate change in a person’s life. It’s about creating the “you” of tomorrow.
It could be that you are stuck in an unhealthy relationship, in a job you don’t like, or in a pattern of behaviours that don’t serve you well. Or it could be that you are experiencing stress or anxiety, and you are not sure how to tackle these. A life coach can help release you from all of these things by working together with you on a step-by-step approach to a solution.
Like therapy, a life coach may also speak about past events, but only within the context of what you want to achieve today and tomorrow. Life coaching is all about looking forward. Over a period of two to three months, a life coach can help you identify your strengths and limitations, explore and understand positive and negative behaviours, in order to change your life. It is about releasing inner potential rather than exploring a trauma.
Life coaching can be accessed by anyone at any time, without the need for a medical referral.
In addition, in life coaching the client decides what matters they wish to tackle. In a therapy situation it would be much more down to the medical professional to guide this.
Life coaching is goal oriented and you will be given tasks to complete in between sessions, such as daily affirmations, or a challenge to get out of your “comfort zone”.
By setting small, medium and larger goals, at the end of your sessions you will begin to see the changes in your life that you have longed for. In this sense, life coaching can be therapeutic and even ‘healing’
Are you looking for a positive solution to reach goals and improve yourself or life? Contact me today for a complimentary consultation. Interested to learn more first? Read my blog on How to Change a Life.
How has 2015 started for you? Have you still got the enthusiasm you felt at the start of January? Are you ticking off all the steps on the way to reaching your goals? Have you created your mission statement?
If the answer is no, I’ve got help. Read on!
Does any of this sound familiar?
You find yourself in the same situation again and again
You wonder why you feel like you take one step forward and two back
You get distracted from your goals
You try lots of personal development tips but they don’t seem to last in the long haul
Well, the solution is to get to the ‘root cause’ of your motivation. The root cause of your motivation (lack thereof) is embedded in your belief system.
Entrenched beliefs can often end up doing a battle with will power, and come out the winner.
Let me explain:
Your BELIEFS shape your VALUES
Your VALUES create your MOTIVATION
Your MOTIVATION determines what you actually do on a day-to-day basis…
How to Stay Motivated
…which results in repeated behaviour. Goals that fall by the wayside, for example.
So, if your belief is “I can’t see myself achieving this” then you are creating a value that what you are doing can’t really be that important, because you’re never going to achieve it anyway. This weakens your motivation, and in your day-to-day life you struggle to keep up with the goals you have set yourself.
How can you turn this around?
Ask yourself the following questions:
What negative (disempowering, discouraging) beliefs do I carry in my mind (self-talk/self-image)?
How do these thoughts serve me?
How can I turn them into helpful, encouraging and empowering beliefs?
By examining our thoughts and self-talk we can quickly begin to build up a pattern of thoughts that affect our motivation.
By turning those thoughts around into more positive and helpful comments we make to ourselves, we can set ourselves on the road to more successful goal attempts.
Tips on how to stay motivated
Instead of thinking “I can’t do this” visualise yourself having achieved your goal.
Instead of worrying that you have set yourself too high a goal to accomplish, focus on each individual step towards that goal
Instead of thinking you have to give up because something is not working, figure out how to change tack so that it begins to work
Some are happy enough to continue on as normal, with the prospect of a pay packet at the end of the month enough of a motivation.
Others have nursed a lifelong dream to open their own shop, run their own café, or begin an online business…. For some, the dream is simply to be their own boss.
If you answered a resounding yes to the questions we asked in our last post, then this week’s post is for you. Read on to take the first step on the road to running your own business.
Write a business plan. The point of a business plan is to make your vision clear and give you direction. It also serves to:
Clarify your business idea
Spot potential problems
Set out your goals
Detail how you will measure your progress
It will also list the costs you expect to incur launching your business, as well as the return you expect to make and, crucially, when you expect to make that return. If you need to secure investment or a loan for your business then you will need a detailed business plan to even be considered.
Get some advice. Everyone has a friend who has a friend who knows something about what you need to know. There are many Business Advisors/Consultants who can give expert advice, or there may even be government-led free business guidance on offer. There is a wealth of information online too.
Do you know if there is a demand for your service or product? Who is your target audience? Where are they? What do they do? Once you understand this, you can come up with an explicit marketing plan. You could be the next big thing, but no marketing could mean no sales because nobody knows about you!
Think about how you can fit your new business into your current lifestyle and commitments. You might be able to ditch your gym membership for a while, but you can’t do that with the school run. Get organised at home or hire a room/shop to create your business space/office and invest in a computer/laptop, phone etc and make sure you have a large desk diary to keep track of appointments.
Are you financially secure enough to wait for your first salary? I suggest if money is a concern, start small, phase in and then grow. Keep your overheads to a minimum if you can.
Self prophesy; where do you want to be in 1, 3, 5 years time? Setting goals is half way to achieving them. Write them down, make them SMART and follow the plan.
Perhaps one of the best investment decisions you can make is to get a business coach. They can help you to change unhelpful habits, and prevent the business from consuming your life and mind to the detriment of your personal life. They can also help with brainstorming ideas and getting a clear sense of direction. Having a coach could be the difference between starting off on the wrong foot, and hitting the ground running.
Still not sure if you want to make the plunge? We’re experts in Small Business Coaching. Call us on +44 (0) 203 002 8895 to find out how we can help.
Do you want to wake up each day motivated and looking forward to the day?
It’s a sad fact that around 80% of you reading this will answer a resounding “no”.
As a result, some of you might even have toyed with the idea of starting your own business as your main job or second income. Want to know if you’re cut out for it? Read on.
Some 270,000 businesses get off the ground every year. Of those, around half don’t make it into their third year. If you think you’d like to run your own business, ask yourself these questions first:
What’s your motivation for starting your own business? Wanting to get out of your day job is not enough. You have to believe in what it is you’re doing to be successful. Simon Sinek makes a great case for why some companies are successful in this video. What he says is that their product is proof of what they believe in. “People don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it,” he says.
Are you prepared to spend an inordinate amount of time to get your business started? Are you prepared to do your homework?
According to well-known businessman Theo Paphitis, there is a common theme why businesses fail: “They don’t do their homework,” says Theo. “You wouldn’t sit an exam without doing any preparation. A business is no different. It’s about knowing more than the next guy or girl and performing better, and the only way you can do that is through knowledge.”
Can you handle responsibility?
It could be your life-long dream not to have a boss. But being your own boss means that all the responsibility lies with you. It also means that you need to be aware of your own strengths and weaknesses, and admit when you need help. You will need to make some hard decisions. The upside of all this is of course, you will be your own boss!
How do you cope with setbacks?
A new business will have a bumpy road. What other qualities do you possess? Are you a risk taker? Are you a “self-starter”? Can you meet challenges head on and come out the other side? Is every problem a problem or an opportunity? Do you enjoy a challenge? According to high-flying entrepreneur Richard Branson, you need energy and passion to start up your own business.
Do you have a support network?
Are your friends and family behind you all the way? This support could be absolutely crucial. The time you spend on your new business will probably impact your family and social life in a big way. Get them on board and it won’t seem so tough.
Still not sure if you want to make the plunge? We’re experts in Business Startup Coaching. We can help you brainstorm ideas, create marketing plans, gain clarity on whether this is for you or not. We can assist you to become a business person to ensure you have habits and mindsets that support this new venture. Call us on +44 (0) 203 002 8895 to find out how we can help or email email@example.com