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Last week I was asked to talk about what I do professionally to a women’s group I have recently joined. I am passionate about coaching and mindset work and love to share my experience with others on these subjects.  After speaking for 45 minutes and ending on the poem by Marianne Williamson which I always find impactive and is a powerful reminder to us all that we have a right to Shine….I asked if anyone had any questions…

Now, I’m a coach and also a Red Cross Emergency worker so I’m fairly robust and well able to hold my own in most situations, however, what I wasn’t prepared for was to be asked about my size, well to be exact ‘whether my size affects my coaching’, particularly by another women, and in a business setting.  I think the shock was evident on my face as it was on everyone else’s around the room and an embarrassed hush fell across the room as everyone waited for my response…

To be honest, I’m not sure I did know how to respond at the time but from memory I think I said that I had never had anyone tell me I wasn’t able to coach them because of my size and if someone was bothered by my size then that was their issue not mine.  Now a few days on and a weekend away to reflect on it I want to say this…

I am so disappointed that another women, particularly in a business environment, would feel it was ok to ‘shame’ another women due to her size.  I wonder if she would have asked the same question if I had been a male presenter, or asked a black or disabled woman if their colour or disability affected their business?  I feel incredibly sad that in 2019 as women we are still being judged by how we look and not on how we perform.  Michelle Obama wrote in her book about how every morning she had someone do her hair, her make-up, tell her what to wear, whilst Barrack only had to choose which tie to wear! 

What that woman did last week was not only attempt to shame me but told every single woman in that room that it was not ok to be who they are, and no matter what they achieve they will be judged by how they look! 

I work with women every single day who are a result of other people’s views; parents, teachers, employers, partners etc.  Women who have low self-esteem, poor body image lack confidence to go out and live the life they want for fear of what others will think…well let me tell you this.  Never ever be embarrassed by who you are, regardless of shape, size, colour, ability etc we are all miracles of nature!  With these kinds of views we are encouraging a generation of image driven young people, who feel the need to take 20 selfies of themselves to get the ‘one’ that looks just right, that develop an eating disorder because they feel they need to look a certain way to ‘fit in’

I shared with this group last week, like I do every group I talk to, my own personal life journey, not because I want their sympathy but to show them that despite their past life experiences their past does not have to equal their future, they can become who they want to be.

I am a survivor of child abuse, I’m no longer ashamed of that, but I used to be… I recognise that it has made me the strong, driven person I am, and every day I try to do something to inspire other people who have faced adversity in their lives that it is possible to get beyond these experiences and live a life of purpose and happiness.

For the woman who asked the question of me..

Every single day of my life I work on my health and wellbeing, you won’t know that because you don’t actually know me..you see, my abuse left me with a lifelong eating disorder, one I have worked on since I was a teenager.  At the age of 52 with the help and support of an amazing counsellor I am now binge free but am left with the ravages of a body abused by dieting its whole life. My journey continues!

Every day I work on my mindset so that I can be the best version of me and help others in the way that I do.

Every day I watch my mum who lives with us disappear a little bit more through her dementia but feel gratitude for that extra day.

And know this…

Despite my ‘size’ I have supported and empowered clients for the last 15 years, using my brain, my ears and my heart…never my body, to coach.

I have performed on stage with the Birmingham Royal Ballet. 

Despite my dislike of heights, I’ve Climbed mountains, scuba dived, gone white water rafting, skied and leapt out of boats in the middle of the ocean.

I’ve travelled to work out in Haiti after the 2010 earthquake and slept in a tent for 2 weeks. I’ve held people who lost loved ones in the horror of the Grenfell Tower fire, and been awarded The Red Cross Henry Durrant award twice.

I’ve cycled for 50 miles, and walked 13 blistered miles through the night dressed in a bra for charity

I’ve walked 102 miles on holiday just for fun, and went down an olympic bobsleigh run at 60 miles an hour…dont ask!

I’ve run a health retreat in Spain for 12 months because I wanted to help others.

And most importantly I’ve always been my authentic self.  I’ve never presented as perfect or hidden my personal challenges.  What I hope I have done through my openness and honesty is to inspire and empower people to know that despite their challenges they can still go on to achieve a happy and successful life.

Life is a constant learning process and I continue to work at being the best I can be.

There are many people out there, both men and women fighting a daily battle with mental health issues, they need love, support and encouragement, not judgment.  Behind every single person is a story, their story…so before you judge anyone make sure you know their story. Maybe instead of judging, think about how you can help, support or inspire them.

And for yourself, be the best you can be…

Our Deepest Fear
By Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us. We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of the world. Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, As children do. We were born to manifest
The glory of what is within us. It’s not just in some of us;
It’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

Finding yourself stuck right now, no idea how to move forward away from where you are?

Lacking in confidence, suffering from low self-esteem?

Why not join my new 12 week Life Transformational programme for women, “SHE WHO DARES SHINES’

Starting on the 1st of April 

Find out more here https://www.debihaden.co.uk/she-who-dares-shines/



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Shouldn’t your contractor do the same?

With our free guide you’ll learn the 5 questions you need to ask a green building contractor.

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NOW is the Time to Become the Confident You!!
Are you a woman who’s faced challenges in life and has lost your confidence? Maybe you’ve never had the confidence you desire? Do you see other women living the life you really want? Is your mind full of self-doubt which stops you doing things? Are you repeating the same old negative behaviours?

Ready to let go of what's holding you back?

Unshakeable confidence isn’t something we’re born with but, like any other life skill, you can develop and become skilled in it over time…if you know how!

Step one to gaining confidence is to dare to believe that in time YOU will have the confidence you want.
If you can do this then you are ready to take the next step on your exciting journey.

Imagine for a moment that you have a heavy bag on your back – weighing you down, making you feel miserable and stopping you moving forward.  It’s exhausting – like trying to walk through treacle isn’t it.

Life can be like this – a whole bag of regrets, negative self-talk, not feeling good enough and worries about the future – yes, they are all in that bag on YOUR back!
No wonder you don’t have the energy to confidently move forward and try new things.

Are you exhausted by repeating the same old negative behaviours?

Would you like to have more energy and life to feel lighter?

Now’s the time to let go of those things holding you back and dare to be the confident and happy you!

I imagine you, like so many other women, have dreams of what you want your life to be like.  These could be dreams that you’ve never shared or felt it’s not ‘quite the right time’ due to other life-priorities.

You know you’ve created some bad habits that don’t serve you but you don’t know how to break away from them. For too long you’ve struggled on your own. Now it’s time to get the help and support you need and deserve.

YOU are so ready to let go of the negative mind chatter stopping you living the life you desire – I’m so excited for you! 

But How?

She Who Dares Shines is my 12-week, online, step-by-step support programme where you will learn powerful and empowering techniques to overcome your low self-esteem and provide you with the LASTING self-confidence you’ve always wanted.

You dream of being confident but what does that actually mean to you? I’ll help you explore that, it’s your opportunity to be, do and have whatever you choose.

My role will be to help you unpack your heavy bag, rid yourself of all those things weighing you down and give you renewed energy and confidence to bring new, exciting and positive things into your life.

Clients come to me with a specific challenge or feeling they want to change which I help them solve.  What makes ‘She Who Dares Shines’ unique is that it helps you look at all aspects of YOUR life and transform those areas most important to YOU.

You will have total clarity as to who you are, what you want in life and develop unshakable confidence in yourself.

NOW is the time to get serious about YOU and what you want from life. No-one is going to do it for you!

You know you don’t want to stay stuck, you want things to be different but what you need to do is take that first step, because that’s how the journey to the fabulous confident YOU begins!

Remember how great it felt when you had a good day, when everything went right, and you felt good about yourself? There are so many things that we have to work on in life; relationships, work, family etc.  Our fears, self-doubts and mind chatter can kick in big time and some days can throw us off track completely.

I want you to imagine this instead:
Every morning you create a positive mindset habit and step into the fabulous, confident version of you.

You are focussed on your goals and confident they can be reached.  Yes, there are barriers and things that scare you but these are challenges you can work on and overcome.

Your new-found self esteem will drive you forward and you are no longer a prisoner to self-doubt.  You will make things happen YOUR way as you take control and start running your life to YOUR agenda.

Many women experience what I call “confidence wobble”.

For some, low self-esteem and self-doubt are constant companions that relentlessly sabotage their hopes of living a rich and fulfilled life.

You see other people doing things you’d love to do but your just too scared to join in the fun. You’re left feeling resentful and unhappy because they make it look so easy. You find yourself asking ‘How can they do it and I can’t…where do I even begin?’

Now imagine this…

What if I told that you could develop the skills you need to grow and maintain your confidence in just 12 amazing weeks! 

How incredible does that sound?

As we all know lacking in confidence and low self-esteem can result in you becoming caught in an ever-decreasing spiral of anxiety – I know, I’ve been there too.

But, to break out of this repeating pattern YOU need to step-up and take positive action. This can feel like a very daunting ask but this is exactly where I can help you.

Why Work With Me?

Just like you I’ve faced my own life challenges caused by self-doubt, lack of confidence and negative mind chatter.  However, I learnt how to overcome these and push myself to go well beyond my comfort zone. I’ve definitely felt the fear of doing that – but these experiences are the building blocks for growing confidence and self-belief.

What I ABSOLUTELY know is this… when you behave with confidence you draw positive things to you and become more attractive to people, both personally and professionally – yes really!

I’ve had many amazing experiences in my own life because I was open to challenging my own limiting beliefs, mind chatter and stepping outside my comfort zone and feeling the joy of doing something I previously feared!

Many of my clients have experienced life changing moments due to our work together.  I consider it a real privilege to be part of their journey and I love to watch my clients grow in confidence as they progress towards achieving their goals and dreams!

What will life look and feel like if you have the confidence you desire?

  • Now… Really think about it! 
  • What difference would it make to you? 
  • How would you feel?
  • What new things would you do?
  • What dream would you go for?

So, you have a choice RIGHT NOW…You can either stay stuck, plodding along on your own, thinking ‘if only” – and be in exactly the same place this time next year
OR
You can take action TODAY to begin to create the life you want to live.

Remember…

Only YOU can make the choice to live a different life and leave behind forever the limiting beliefs and negative mind chatter that’s held you back for so long.

  • To lose old habits that don’t serve you
  • Let go of the heavy baggage weighing you down

And instead…

  • Create the energy to let new things into your life
  • Find your purpose and do things that make your heart sing
  • Find your confidence and claim the lifestyle you’ve always wanted

If you are ready to retake control of your life then you are going to love my new programme created especially for women like you.

She Who Dares Shines.

I will show you how to build your self-esteem, develop unshakable confidence, find your focus and achieve things you never thought possible.

With more confidence you will become happier, at peace with yourself and draw the right people and experiences to you!

So – What does the ‘She Who Dares Shines’ programme look like?

She Who Dares Shines’ is totally focussed on providing women like you with proven, confidence empowering materials – all packed into a transformational 12-week online programme. I can’t wait to share it with you!

Over the years I’ve helped hundreds of people to overcome limiting beliefs, silence the mind chatter, create a positive mindset, develop their confidence & self-esteem and achieve things they never thought possible – and I’m going to take you on this powerful, life-changing journey too!

I’m going to be teaching you lots of new techniques for developing your confidence, boosting your self-esteem and getting your life back on track!

You will receive practical, powerful tools to banish your fears, stop the negative mind chatter, embrace change and develop unshakable confidence. All of this is combined with activities that ensure you put into action everything you have learnt.  These activities are designed to reinforce your learning, gently but consistently helping you to embed your new skills into your everyday life and witness the positive changes that result.

Month 1:

This is all about forever banishing your ‘Mindset Monkeys’, those naughty little blighters that keep you stuck where you are. Together we will clear your mind of self-sabotaging thoughts and refocus your energy on the important things you can change or influence.

I’m going to release you from all that exhausting, negative, mind chatter and give you the freedom to make better life choices.

Month 2

You’ll be going on an exciting journey of self-discovery; identifying and learning what you genuinely desire. Together we will begin to reveal the confident you and start to explore lots of new possibilities…all grounded in your ever-growing sense of self-confidence.

We will be spending time looking at your self-care and I’ll be supporting you to create your personal self-care plan.

Part of your self discovery journey will be to retrain your negative mind chatter into positive thoughts.

Month 3

This is where everything you’ve learnt comes together!  I’m going to empower you to take those actions necessary to create your ideal life and change what were once just dreams into your new reality.
With your new-found self-belief you will be able to focus on precisely where you want to take YOUR life and how you will go about it.

And – to help you cope with the inevitability of life’s ups and downs I’ll be teaching you strategies to shake off any set-backs, recognise and celebrate the progress you’ve made and refocus on the goals ahead.

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Achieve success for 2019
Create your intention & find your solutions


We are now approaching the end of January already, where did that time go!
Did you make any new year resolutions, if so, are you still on track?

There is a long-held tradition of making new year resolutions, with about half of us still making them today! I’m going to be honest here, I’m not someone who makes New Year resolutions in the traditional sense in January, it’s not a month that generally motivates me for change. January for me is a reflection and planning month, a time where I like to reflect on how I want my year to look and what I will need to think about to make those things happen. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against the concept of making New Year resolutions, however after years of setting them for myself and watching others do it and failing miserably, I think I now have created an approach to goal setting that works for me and my clients, whatever time of year you start.  One which almost guarantees success!

Step 1 – find ‘your’ time
As I said I see January as my reflection and planning month, for me March/April and again in September are months where I tend to find my motivation for creating goals and making changes.  For all of us this will be different and as well as being affected by the months, seasons and weather you will be affected by what is going on in your life.  If you are trying to cope with a lot of personal challenges it might not be the best time to set yourself a reaching or stretching goal.  It’s important to think about how best to use to use your energy and motivation to your greater good for success.    

Step 2 – Set your intention for the year ahead
Before you even get to setting any goals, it can be helpful to think about what you would like your focus to be for the year ahead. This might come about through reflecting on the past year, what you want more or less of for the year ahead.  For instance, on looking at my 2018 I was aware that I hadn’t put enough fun, relaxation and new experiences into my diary, all things important for my personal wellbeing, therefore the intension I’ve set for this year is to plan in more social activities, opportunities to support my self care and to plan to do some new activites.   

Step 3 – Identify those things you want to change
It is helpful to brainstorm what it is you really do want to change, and then look at your ‘why’.  Often when we look at our why it can be quite revealing. One of the things that a lot of people come up with as a New Year resolution is to lose weight, but our ‘why’ may be very different.  For one person it may be to feel more confident, another to address a related health issue.  Someone may be driven to lose weight to find a new relationship or career, or the driver might be to fit in a smaller size in our clothes. So…as you can see just by saying we want to lose weight won’t always give us the motivation we need to achieve our goal. For example, if your ‘why’ is to fit into a smaller clothes size then this will be more important to you and the actions you take will be closer aligned to the ‘why’ than just by setting yourself pounds to shed. If we can truly understand our ‘why’ then we can create goals that we are likely to achieve.     

 Step 4 – Creating your ‘Solutions’
Now here comes the really clever stuff! Many of my clients benefit from this simple change to their thinking. “Consider why people make resolutions. It is usually because there is some aspect of their life that they want to change for the better. Then, instead of focusing on the great benefits that they will achieve, they focus on what they are giving up and so, of course, they fail.” The key lies in that word ‘resolution’. When we make promises to ourselves, we should drop the ‘re’ bit of the word and concentrate on the ‘solution’. “In this life, you attract whatever it is that you think about the most. If you think about negative words like giving up, stopping, doing less or changing something that you have enjoyed for years, then it is inevitable that your subconscious will rebel to ensure that this does not happen.” Instead of thinking about resolutions, think about ‘solutions.’
Think about how you will look, feel and sound when you have found the ‘solution’. Instead of thinking about what you may be giving up, think about what you will gain. Another way of looking at what your solutions need to be might be to ask yourself the question ‘what do I want less of this year’.  One of my clients did this and his answer was stress.  When we broke down his stressors, one of his keys ones was that he couldn’t find things and wasted valuable time and energy looking for things.  Part of his solution was to become more organised and put things in place so that a) he didn’t lose things and b) If he did, he had things in place to identify their whereabouts easily. Remember too that there is no success or failure; there is only result. Don’t beat yourself up if the result is not what you planned, just change something and start again.” There is no such thing as a failed goal, merely a badly set goal!  

Step 5 – Be realistic
Many people think that setting a resolution is all that it takes and when they get results that they see as failure, there are two main reasons for this. The first is that they expect to change the habits of a lifetime overnight and the human body and mind does not work like that. The other is that they attempt to do it alone. The help and support of a non-judgmental and uncritical third party is crucial to a good outcome. I often spend the first few coaching sessions getting clients to fully appreciate why they choose what they choose and to examine their commitment to the change. Then I help them to define strategies for creating change with small action steps that will bring them gradually closer to their goals. Achieving solutions begins with setting them correctly and then having support to make them happen in a timescale that the body and mind can and will accept.  

Step 6 – Take action!
Achieving a goal won’t just happen because you set it, you need to take action! You need to create goals that are clear, stretching but achievable, have a time deadline on them and are based around your ‘why’. If you have emotional buy into a goal, then you are more likely to achieve it.  

Step 7 – Celebrating successes no matter how small
When you are highly motivated & focused on goal achievement it can be so easy to slip into a mentality where everything becomes a to-do and tick box exercise. Whilst this is fabulous from a success point of view it doesn’t allow you to stand still and enjoy the moment of success, instead you have already moved on to the next action or goal.  Make sure that you do take time out to reflect on your success, no matter how small, you’ve earned it enjoy it!

New Year ‘Solutions’ are great if they get you thinking about your life. Remember however, you can start work on a new solution at any time. The power of personal change is just too good to be limited to the first few days of the year and it really is possible to keep every ‘resolution’ without fail.

So…what are you wanting to change this year? If you would like some support with finding and creating your ‘solutions’ or to explore your ‘why’ then contact me to arrange your FREE coaching call. Debi@debihaden.co.uk 07799 651675
I’m Debi Haden and I will work with you to overcome any limiting beliefs, silence the mind chatter, create a positive mindset, develop your confidence and achieve things you never thought possible        

 

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Yesterday I attended the celebration of the life of my wonderful client and friend Jan, who passed away last week. Although expected, I’m not sure we truly ever prepare for someone leaving us.  Jan asked me on her passing to promise to share our journey together and her thoughts on how to live a happy life, in the hope that it inspires you, the reader, to go out and live the life you really want. Her daughter Abby has given permission for her mother’s wishes to be carried out. So here goes…

18 months ago Jan approached me after attending one my mindfulness discovery days about working with her on a one to one basis. A question I always ask my groups is, ‘Are you living a happy life, doing the things that make your heart sing?, never had it felt so relevant than it did for Jan that day, she was to tell me at our first session.  Jan was undergoing treatment for cancer and had within the last year been given a terminal diagnosis.  As a life coach my work is very much about looking forward and helping people achieve their life goals, so this was a very different ask of me.  I had supported my father with his end of life care, but this was something quite different. It was really important that Jan was properly supported in what was to be the last part of her life journey.  After much deliberation we agreed to start working together to see how it went. Making that decision to say yes was the best decision I have taken as I got to spend time with the most amazing woman who taught me so much about life, the human spirit, courage, and myself.  I will be forever grateful and honoured that she chose me to support her.

We can never truly comprehend what it must feel like to be told you have a life limiting illness, why would we, our ultimate aim in life is to live a long and healthy life, and if we are lucky, get to live a happy and fulfilled life.  Jan was no different, she had so many things she wanted to achieve, things on her ‘bucket list’ that she would do at some point in the future, but like many of us, finding other things stealing her time and energy.  Understandably she carried a huge rucksack of emotions.  she certainly wasn’t ready to leave this life behind.  Sometimes angry for a life not lived, sometimes sad for the loss of not seeing her children and grandchildren flourish, and often regretful for the opportunities not yet experienced.

Those 18 months moved quickly from month to month, season to season, with good and bad days but always with a focus, to find peace within herself and to work on her alternative ‘bucket list’, those things that were stretching but achievable in the time she had left.  She got to see the Northern lights, cruise with her family, and feel the warmth of the sun on her skin in Cyprus with her daughter.  For me most importantly she got to leave her demons behind, those regrets from the past that filled her with guilt, and I believe, she lived these last 18 months for herself, doing what she wanted to do, when she wanted to do it, and most importantly she found her peace.

Of course, she had regrets, who wouldn’t at this time, however her biggest regret was that she had spent so much time and energy doing things because she thought she should, feeling guilty about what had gone before, and worrying about what others thought of her, instead of putting her energy into living the life she really wanted to live.

lessons on living a happy life…

So, as we come to the end of our journey together, the message we both have for you is this…

Don’t waste your energy on things you can’t change, it’s been and gone, find the learning and move on.

Stop worrying about what others think or feel about you, the most important opinion is your own, do right be yourself.

Find those things that make your heart sing, don’t settle, keep looking until you find your happiness

And most importantly,

Don’t wait for tomorrow because it might just never come…do things now, live your life as you want to, in the moment. You deserve to live a happy life!

To Jan, my wonderful, client and friend, the world will be a much duller place without you in it.  You brought a wonderful light and brightness wherever you went.  I will remember your wonderful rainbow of colours, your tenacity for life and your wonderful warm spirit.

With love

Debi

x

Jan was a member of my Rise & Shine group for women and took great comfort from the love and support she got from this.  If you would like to be a member please click through.

If you are finding life difficult right now, grieving the loss of someone, or facing your own health challenges and would like to find out how I can help you please contact me to arrange your free call.

Book your FREE 30 minute Clarity Call today by clicking the ‘Discover More’ button and see how Debi can help you! Discover more

 

 

The post How to live a happy life – In memory of Jan Fowler appeared first on Debi Haden.

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Only this week I have heard of two acquaintances losing a friend to suicide, both tragically young, with their whole lives ahead of them, but with what they saw as no other way out of how they were feeling with their depression than taking their own lives.

For many the thought of getting to a point of taking your own life is unimageable, for others I’ve heard it described as a selfish act.

In my own life I’ve experienced a cousin take her own life at 21, seen a close friend devastated by her boyfriend choosing to end his life, witnessed someone jump out of an office block to his death and had friends express their fears of dark thoughts.

We can never truly understand the complexities of their lives that drove them to believing this was their only choice, for everyone it will be different.

My story…

I remember as a Samaritan in training, aged 18, struggling to get my head round the concept that someone would make a choice to end their own life. That for some it would be the most in control and at peace they had ever felt in their lives.  It wasn’t until in my 30’s when I was hit by crippling depression and stress that I finally got it, when I realised that my thought process of believing that the decision to leave this world was easier than the ongoing daily mental torture of just getting through…it was only in my darkest moments, at rock bottom, did I suddenly get it, did I truly understand.

When I finally acknowledged my depression, I realised that I had carried it for years, hiding it well, ashamed to admit to myself and others just how bad I had felt, was feeling.  How even with friends and family around me, loving me, caring for me, I felt completely alone, like I was trapped in a bubble with the world going on in a muffled hush around me.

Those dark thoughts floated in and out of my mind on a regular basis, sometimes fleetingly, other times lingering for longer than I’d like to admit, always with the same focus that I didn’t want to keep feeling this crippling emotional pain, and that everyone would be better off without me.

I remember the day so clearly, the day I finally broke into a thousand pieces, at my desk, arriving at work having driven in that day feeling so unwell, both mentally and physically. It was an email that triggered it, nothing earth shattering, but enough to make me lose my facade and fall apart.

I don’t remember getting home that day, but know that for the three weeks that followed I barely moved from the sofa.  I drifted in and out of a dazed stupor, coming to to witness the horror of 9/11 and then drifting back into my own bubble.

Finding my way…

I was one of the lucky ones I had a wonderful doctor who got me back on my feet, that got me support  for my depression and told me it was ok to not be ok, but in time I would be.  For the first time ever I could be me, no more hiding behind the facade, no more telling everyone I was fine when I clearly wasn’t.  You see we get good at hiding it. You’d often never know because on the surface we hold down jobs, we have families, we do holidays and can even appear to have fun, but all the time underneath, we are hiding this dark secret, this crippling guilt, this shame, that we have depression, we have a mental illness…

It wasn’t easy or  a quick process, but definetly worthwhile.  In some ways I’m still working on  me, and probably always will be, but I’m finally ok with that.  I’ve learnt that there will be blips but they wont last, I just have to ride them out.  I’ve accepted that it’s ok to ask for help, to allow others in to help and support me.

I’ve allowed myself to lose the shame and realise that some people will have broken bones, diseases and physical illnesses and some with have mental illnesses, none worse or better than others, just an acceptance that we might all need some mending along the way.

I still have cloudy days, but they have become less frequent over the years, and I’ve become more resilient and accepting of support.

I can now text or ring a friend and say ‘I’m having a bad day’ and know that they will be there to listen.  I can say out loud that I’m low but I don’t know why.  I can  ask my hubby for a hug and reassurance, and that’s ok.

I’m at a point in my life that I can now support others with depression.  I can help them find their coping strategies, their support system, and most importantly their voice to say ‘I’m not ok’

You have choices…

If you are struggling right now, I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you do have choices.  You can feel better than where you are right now.  It is ok to ask for help, and it really is nothing to be ashamed of.  I believe I have become a stronger person since ‘coming out’. I wouldn’t be the person I am, or be able to help people in the way that I do, without my experiences.

Find out more about how I can help you with depression, stress or anxiety through the link below.

Book your FREE 30 minute Clarity Call today by clicking the ‘Discover More’ button.  See how Debi can help you! Discover more

The post living life with depression – It’s ok to not be ok… appeared first on Debi Haden.

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