I know, it’s funny for ME of all people to be talking about the bright side of winter.
Anyone who has known me for more than a few minutes knows that I’m a die-hard summer fanatic. I love the sun and the heat and even a little bit of humidity (I was less enthused about humidity back when I lived in Montreal where it can be utterly disgusting in the middle of the season; Halifax makes it way more bearable!). I’m also that one person everyone knows who is always cold. I’m currently sitting at my laptop while wearing thick jogging pants, a long sleeve t-shirt, a pullover hoodie, and I have the space heater humming beside me. Even with all that I’m still side-eyeing my grandmother’s quilt and wondering if I can navigate typing if I drape it over my shoulders.
The struggle is real.
So obviously I’m not exactly thrilled when we enter the long winter season. It gets dark so early and the temperatures drop, we often get long stretches of grey skies, and we either get rain or snow. This winter we’re actually getting a boomerang back and forth between them, going from snow to freezing rain to rain to flash freezes to dry roads to snow, and lather-rinse-repeat.
All that to say that I am counting down to the warmer months when I can go to the beach and drink my weekend morning coffee on the back deck and sit outside until 10 pm without getting shivery. All that being said though, yes, there ARE some bright spots in the otherwise bleak winter, I just learned that I have to look a little harder for them sometimes.
Here are some things that make MY winter a little bit brighter.
Really enjoying a hot cup of tea.
Cold days, hot tea
Obviously you can drink hot tea at any time of year. In fact, even in the hottest days of summer I will still drink hot coffee in the morning and hot tea at night. I’m not a big fan of iced coffee or tea to be honest. But there’s just something extra cozy about a steamy cup of tea on a cold day at any hour. The feeling of wrapping my chilly fingers around a hot mug is so satisfying. It’s just something that isn’t quite as full of anticipation when it’s a sweltering hot summer evening.
Curling up with a bunch of fuzzy blankets and a book.
Reading and blankets, the best combo!
In the summer my favorite place in my entire home to read is my back deck. In the winter my deck is often covered in snow or ice so it loses its rank for obvious reasons. At that point my two favorite places for reading are my living room (in the recliner chair) and my bed. They’re tied because both work well with a pile of blankets and whatever I’m reading. Bonus points if I’m in my fleece pajamas and have a cup or the aforementioned tea. (And extra bonus points for cute mugs!)
Soup! So much soup!
One giant bowl of soup please and thank you!
I can’t speak for everyone but I know that I almost never eat soup in the summer. It’s just less appealing unless I happen to catch a summer cold. In the winter though, I can eat soup for any occasion. Sick with a cold? Soup. Recovering from the flu? Soup. First day eating after a fun bout of gastro? Soup. Wednesday afternoon? Soup. I love it, especially if it’s nice and thick (versus something more broth-like). In fact I had a whole can of split pea soup to myself today for no reason other than it was a friggin cold winter day. It helped. And no, I did not share.
Time for play!
Attack of the snow zombies
Okay, personally I prefer to play around when it’s not below freezing but if there’s snow down on the ground anyway, I must admit it’s fun to put on the snow pants and thick gloves and head out for a little goofing around. Breanna and I made this silly scene of a snowman zombie attack and it was so much fun that we made one in the back yard AND one in the front. I hope the one in the front yard brought a chuckle to anyone passing by.
Creative photoshoots in the snow
As someone with a photo-taking compulsion it would be really tempting for me to put a big fat hold on any kind of photoshoots until the weather warms up. And admittedly, it’s not always easy to set up a shot when it’s snowing, the wind is blowing, and your fingers are freezing as you fiddle with buttons and timers. But it’s worth it because some of my favorite photos I’ve ever taken of myself have been out in the snow. The trick is to use a self timer, find something to prop up your phone safely (like a glass) or use a tripod for your camera, and have a sense of humor.
Slightly insane yogi
And also a sense of crazy. That helps a lot too.
Winter is so beautiful
Well, usually anyway. It loses its beauty a bit when it starts turning to slush out on the streets and it’s hard to see how pretty it all is when you’re shoveling the end of your driveway for the 5th time because the plows keep pushing the snow back in every time they go by. But there’s a lot to be said about how rich a blue sky looks in the winter or how the snow sparkles. Even after a bout of freezing rain you’ll find the trees shine like diamonds. It truly is a beautiful season when you can look at it with the right frame of mind.
Bring back summer
I am still looking forward to summer. My sandals and my shorts and my bathing suit are all waiting. I know it’s coming. Eventually. But in the meantime I will try to punctuate my countdown with a little bit of gratitude for this harsh season.
I have not been a fan of this year, health-wise. It’s not like I’ve had any major health issues; I haven’t been hospitalized or even had to go to the ER this year (*knocking furiously on wood because this damn year is not over yet!*). But honestly, I think my immune system has gone on vacation somewhere warm and sunny without me because I have used up every single sick day I have available to me and then some. It’s ridiculous.
Granted some of my sick days are taken up by other people like, you know, my kids. If one of them is sick and needs me I will call in. Even with that being said though, I have taken way too many sick days for myself in the past 365 days. I’ve kind of had enough and I’m doing some reading to see what I can do to boost my immune system besides wearing a mask at all times or enclosing myself in a bubble.
(I work in an office with over 400 people, not to mention the public transit that I use for commuting purposes every day. I am exposed to a ridiculous amount of god-knows-what germs every damn day.)
In the meantime though, I’ve gotten the whole concept of surviving a sick day practically down to a science. Here’s how I get through sick days, as recently as last week, in no particular order.
I mean, I’m a big fan of soup in general so it makes sense for me to turn to a big steaming bowl of goodness when I’m not at my best. When I’m sick though, I just really crave it and sometimes it’s all I want – or can – eat. If I’m SUPER sick with a Cold From Hell then I might want some chicken noodle soup but that’s pretty desperate for me. It’s not one of my favorites so if you see me slurping up noodles and little slivers of poultry from a bowl of yellow liquid, you know there’s something wrong. In fact, my taste buds may not be working. For the most part though, I lean towards my favorite sick day comfort soup – a can of French-Canadian split pea soup with plenty of cracked black pepper on top. I prefer it without the ham (though I can eat it if that’s the only one I have on hand) and sometimes I like to throw some cooked rice in there too. Mostly though, just give me a bowl of the soup and enough black pepper to make you sneeze.
2. Nap time!
I am not a napper. In theory I would love to take naps because I’m often tired due to my inability to maintain an early bedtime. But here’s the problem – naps make me really groggy and SUPER cranky. They always sound like a great idea but the execution usually leaves me feeling worse than I did before. The only exception to this is if I’m not feeling well. If I’m sick then I just kind of want to be unconscious because then I can’t feel what’s going on in my head/sinuses/throat/stomach/whatever. I don’t usually make my way up to my bed but I will frequently spend a sick day with the recliner chair pulled out, a blanket over me, totally conked out for anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour at a time.
3. Questionable, but easy television.
One of the bright sides to calling in sick is getting to turn on some of the daytime talk TV that I love. If I stay home from work I will hurry back home after taking Breanna to school, then I hop back into my pajamas (or my onesie*) to curl up on the aforementioned recliner. I will snooze during the remainder of the morning news, then I’ll watch the opening segment of Kelly and Ryan because I have loved Kelly Ripa for years. Then I might snooze some more and eat some soup and feel pitiful until several hours later when I watch The Social which is my FAVORITE daytime talk show of all. In between I often put the nature channel on so I can alternate between whining and dozing while looking at waterfalls or fields in Tuscany.**
*No I’m not kidding, a onesie. It’s the best thing ever when you’re shivery.
**Okay, seriously, I also do a lot of this on random vacation days or holidays too.
4. A hot steamy shower.
I would say a bath but I’m not really a bath fan. I’d rather just shower and stand in the steam because sitting in a hot bath just makes me feel sweaty and gross. Maybe if I had whirlpool jets or an abundance of bath bombs I’d change my mind, but I’d really rather hit the shower. The thing is, if I’m sick I’m tired and cranky and I don’t want to bother, but if I’ve learned anything being a parent it’s that putting a tired and cranky person into warm water helps everything. If I’m stuffed up, the steam helps clear things out a little. If I’m just feeling icky and achy, the hot water is soothing. Eventually it just feels great for a little while, and when I get out I’m all mellow and usually resort back to tip #2. Often while still wrapped in my towel even, but I digress.
(I don’t recommend washing your hair on a sick day unless you must because then you’re stuck with cold damp hair and the effort of using a blow dryer and really, screw that.)
5. Gentle yoga + meditation.
And I do mean gentle. This isn’t the time to bust out fast-paced, sweat-inducing Vinyasa flows or to try to nail a headstand. This is the time to quietly fold this way and that way, holding poses for longer than usual. No, no one who is sick really wants to exercise per se, but gentle Yin yoga poses will coax out all the aches and pains and relax even the most exhausted body. Meditation is good because I’ll use some visualization techniques to picture the illness/virus being removed from my body with every exhale; as woo-woo as that sounds, it feels better. Even if I’m exhausted I’ll try to at least do a few yoga moves and meditation minutes, even if I have to do it right on my bed. It’s especially nice to do it at night after the hot shower because it leads to the next tip.
If you do want to try some yoga in bed, I have a video with a simple beginner-friendly drift-off-to-sleep routine that you can do!
6. An early bedtime.
I’m not a morning person. I don’t go to bed at 9 pm and rise with the sun. At least not willingly. I am – have always been, and probably always will be – a night owl. On work nights it’s a miracle if I’m in bed before 11 pm and on weekends I’m frequently up well past midnight or even 1 am. Granted I fall asleep quickly 99.99% of the time but I am not early-to-bed-early-to-rise. When I’m sick though, you can tell because you’ll see me make a hot cup of tea (I could have dedicated a whole point to that too, come to think of it – tea is a bit of a miracle), crawl into bed to drink it, and then I’m passed out by 10 pm. There’s no denying my health is not up to snuff when that happens, but it helps so much if I can get 8-9 (or 10!) hours of sleep instead of my usual 7-8 hours.
7. If all else fails, whine
No. I know. It really doesn’t help. It doesn’t do any good in general and it just annoys everyone in the vicinity. But you know what? Tough. If I don’t feel well, you’ll know. Because I will whine and fuss and kick things and tell you.
Sometimes that’s all I need, is just a little vent, and then I follow steps one through six and get on my way to feeling better.
How about you? How do you cope with a sick day? What’s your favorite personal remedy to feel just a little bit better?
And if you have any immune-boosting tips that you swear by, I’d love to hear those too, because this year is almost over and I am damn well determined to have a better health season next year! Leave me some comments down below to let me know!
This isn’t quite what you’d call a motivational confession but – I love being unproductive.
If you pop on to Pinterest or just about any large magazine-type site you’ll find a ton of articles all about how to squeeze the most productivity out of your day. How to fit in some kind of breathtaking bit of brilliance in between supper, washing up, prepping lunches, and getting to bed. How to multitask so that you can clear out your to-do list while simultaneously folding laundry and showering.
That’s great! Sometimes life is busy and you really do need to get 37 things done between the time your alarm wakes you up and the time your exhausted head hits the pillow.
But does every moment really need to be spent doing something productive? What happened to relaxing and just breathing and not doing anything in particular? I think there’s a pretty good argument in defense of being unproductive, to be honest!
There’s a great British expression (and once again I’m reminded that I wish I was more British than just by the ancestry gene pool because there are so many great expressions that you just can’t say outside of the UK without sounding like a bloody wanker – see what I did there?) called “faffing” and I want to adopt it as my personal motto.
The definition of faffing is essentially to waste time by doing useless or unnecessary tasks. It’s the exact opposite of the culture of busy-ness or productivity. Faffing is a very delightful albeit lazy way to spend a day to recover from being productive 40+ hours per week.
Obviously I can’t just lie around drinking tea and flipping through the pages of a book all the live-long day every day. I do have a job that requires me to leave the house and you know, do something from 10 am to 6 pm every Monday to Friday. I also have certain evenings where I might have to rush home from work straight to one of the schools for some kind of event that the kids have going on, and on Saturdays I take Breanna to dance class, then we usually run errands before getting home.
However, I have definitely embraced the concept of slowing down when I don’t have to be go-go-go all the time. I consider it a survival necessity to be honest. If you never ever stop and let yourself do “nothing” then your stress levels are eventually going to explode. I can’t let myself get to that point.
Every single weeknight I have the same ritual. After I’ve cleaned up the kitchen (George cooks most of the time so I wash the dishes), prepped the lunches for the next day, had my shower (yes, I’m a night shower person, I have no interest in getting up earlier than I already do), and said good night to everyone I go into the kitchen. I make myself a cup of tea and scrounge up a small snack like a couple of cookies or a chocolate bar. Then I take it all up to the bedroom and I either enjoy it while reading a book in bed or perusing the internet at my desk in the corner.
Tea and snacks in bed.
Is there something else I could be doing with that evening time? Oh, probably. But why? If I’ve been on the go since I rolled out of bed at 7 am, why on earth do I HAVE to be productive at 9 pm too? Hell no. That’s unwind before bed time for me, no exceptions.
I also focus on a slow living approach on the weekends. I try to spend a good deal of it in a state of non-productivity. Of course there are things that still need to get done. It’s easier to get some housecleaning in on a Saturday, and I also do laundry on the weekend. If I have some freelance work to do I will usually do that on one of those two days as well; I try to do it in the evenings throughout the week sometimes but my brain is often pretty fried by the time I get to sit down and work on anything.
Aside from those things, I generally fit in a whole lot of down time. I’ll read whatever book I have on the go, catch up on TV shows that we’ve missed during the week, wander about outside, take photos of whatever catches my eye, or just put my feet up. I think it’s important to have quiet moments in between the absolute necessities.
But I don’t WANT to be productive all day long
There seems to be a guilt trip with productivity and people are so fond of using “oh my GOD I’ve been SO BUSY LATELY” as a badge of honor. I don’t know why. I am definitely not a member of the Culture Of Busy no matter what the first part of my domain says. After all, it’s “Busy ZEN Life” right? If I’ve learned anything about myself it’s that if I have too much busy time and not enough “faffing” time I get cranky, run down, and stressed out. It’s not a good combination. It almost always leads to me dealing with anxiety or getting sick. Or both.
I don’t believe in feeling guilty for choosing to relax and have a slow afternoon. It’s like the oxygen mask on the planes. If I don’t take care of myself when I need to then I’m not going to be much use for the other tasks in my life. It’s not a guilty pleasure – it’s a necessary break that we all need.
Do you feel guilty about being purposefully unproductive? Leave me a comment and tell me if you do! And if you’re already a slow living pro then tell me your favorite way to just chill out.
There are a ton of reasons why we should get to bed early – or at least early enough to help us land in the coveted window of 7-9 hours of sleep. I often fail to get inside that window, or if I do it’s just hovering around the 7-hour mark. I can’t help it though. I’ve tried, believe me. I chronically stay up too late over and over again. And every time I get into bed – whatever the clock says – I feel so amazing that I think to myself, “you know, I really should get more sleep more often!” But I fail over and over again and here are the reasons why.
I am a night owl by nature.
It doesn’t matter that I live by a schedule that says otherwise. I work the shift I do (10 am to 6 pm) because it fits my life. I have two kids who need to be roused from sleep to go to school and one still needs to be walked to school. I also like to be home in time to eat supper with my family and spend some quality evening time with them.
When I worked 1 pm to 9 pm for awhile the worst part was missing out on those meals and family time (the second worst part was I still had to get up early to take them to school even though I didn’t have to leave home myself until 11:30 each morning). That’s why I was so happy to switch to my current shift; I still had to get up early but at least I finished early enough to be with my whole family when I got home.
That doesn’t change my own natural rhythm though. Unless I have seriously burned the candle at both ends or I’m coming down with a cold or virus, I will almost always get a wake-up boost in the early evening. Even if I was falling asleep on the commute home from work, odds are very high that I will be wide awake by 8 pm.
Then cue the whole thing to cycle again tomorrow. I can’t help it. It’s how I’m wired.
Getting to bed early is tough for night owls - and so is getting up in the morning! Click To Tweet
The late evenings are when I do stuff.
As noted above, I’m not a morning person. I am in awe of people who wake up at 5 am (or earlier!) in order to workout, meditate, write, I don’t know what else. I also know I’m not going to be that person. I prefer to run after work, not before. If I try to meditate at the ass-crack of dawn, I’m going to fall asleep two minutes in. Writing? I can barely talk when I first get up, I can only imagine the absolute gibberish that I would write in the dark morning hours.
So I do those things in the evening. If I want to run I’m out the door by 7 pm for a 5K or so. My meditation can pop up at multiple times of the day but I do most of my concentrated zen in the evening when the house is quiet(ish). My writing may pop up on the weekends at varying hours but most of it happens after 10 pm. It’s just when I have the time to do it.
Would I love to write at 2 pm so I don’t have to do it at 10 pm? Well sure, but seeing as I’m at work at that time, I have to do what I can when I can. It doesn’t matter how many times you tell me I should go to bed. I KNOW I should but when the hell will I ever get anything done?!
It’s my ME time.
When I get up in the morning I get myself and the kids ready for the day (George can handle himself). Then I get on a bus and head downtown. These days, traffic in Halifax is so ridiculous that I tend to get there with just enough time to grab my coffee and get into work to start my shift. I work for eight hours (usually squeezing in Instagram work on my breaks, though I save lunch for reading). I sit on a bus and come home.
After arriving at home, if I’m not running (and let’s be honest, these days I am a horrible slacker) then I sit and have a glass of wine and chat with George. We eat supper as a family, and since George usually makes supper during the week, I take care of cleaning up the kitchen. Once that’s done it’s a whirlwind of prepping/packing lunches for the next day, hopping in and out of the shower, and maybe watching a TV show with everyone.
And then it’s 10 pm so everyone goes to bed. George usually goes to bed at that time too, and although Hayley usually stays up, she’s in her room and Breanna is sound asleep within minutes. This leaves me with a whole block of time that is just for me. Because I need to work so I can afford to live, and I love to spend time with my family, but I also need time where I just do whatever I want to do.
Sure, I could sleep, but is sleep really ME time? No, it’s sleep time. And while I need that sleep time to stay healthy, I also need me time to stay sane(ish). And it really doesn’t matter what I do. Sometimes I use that time to follow an online course that I’m doing, sometimes I watch videos on YouTube, sometimes I read, sometimes I write, sometimes I scroll through social media. It doesn’t really matter whether I’m being productive or whether I’m just faffing about, as long as I’m having my nightly cup of green tea and enjoying myself, that is ME TIME. And I need it.
The evening is my ME time
Eventually I will get so tired that I go to bed earlier.
Usually, anyway. Sometimes it hits me during the week and I run into a solid brick wall of Tired. Or I catch whatever fun germs are floating around my office (or whatever equally fun germs the kids bring home from school for me) and I have to go to bed early. Often I am able to make it through the full week and I just sleep a little longer on the weekends.
The thing is, I know that those 7-9 hours of sleep are really important. I do. But I get up at 7 am on weekdays. At best, I could go to bed at midnight (and I often do) and get seven hours. If I want those NINE hours of sleep, I’d have to be in bed by 10 pm. That means I’m not doing anything other than the daily routine with no time for anything else. That’s just not going to happen.
What is your sleep like? Do you get as many hours as you need? Are you a morning lark or a night owl? And when are you getting stuff done? Let me know in the comments!
I’ve done a lot of things over the years to work on managing my anxiety and also the stress levels that create even MORE anxiety. I don’t know about you, but when it comes to anxiety and panic attacks, less is truly more!
I started off by learning to do yoga in my living room back in 2010. In 2012 I added running – something I used to do on the cross country team back in high school. I also worked on meditation in fits and spurts. Right now I am at 207 consecutive days of meditation.
All of these things have helped. I find yoga works great as an overall prevention method, running is perfect for burning off stress (I’ve had some of my most epic runs after a rough day), and meditation is a good way to help keep anxiety at bay while also being a useful tool for dealing with it in the moment.
That being said, there are also some books that I’ve read that have really helped me on my journey as well and I wanted to share some of them with you, in no particular order.
(*Note: Links are affiliate links which means you don’t pay a penny more but Amazon will give me a percentage of your purchase. I also received the book The Fearless Path for review purposes but all opinions are strictly my own. All other books were purchased by me or given to me as gifts. Onward!)
Books that have helped me on my anti-anxiety journey:
1. Journey to Joyful – Dashama Konah
Dashama was my very first yoga teacher. I had been toying with the idea of trying out some yoga for a long time partly because of a perpetual ache in my legs and partly because of my constant anxiety levels. One day I couldn’t take any more leg pain and I searched for a simple routine on YouTube. The only term I really knew was “Sun Salutation” so I looked for that and lo and behold, I came across Dashama. I practiced yoga with her online daily for a really long time and even though I don’t practice the physical asana of yoga every day anymore, when I do feel like following a routine I still look her up.
Dashama’s book Journey to Joyful is her very simple and easy to follow breakdown of how to use physical yoga, meditation, diet, movement, and perception to create your own joyful life – whatever that looks like. I’ve read it multiple times and still like to refer to it from time to time. Because yoga helped so much in my personal journey with anxiety, reading Dashama’s expansion on yoga on AND off the mat really struck a chord with me.
The whole book is just as down to earth as she is in her videos.
This book was sent to me by Leah’s PR representative and I was interested in checking it out to see what it was about. It is a really great and approachable method of using chakras and meditation to help heal trauma, fear, and heartache. I’m lucky enough to not have dealt with much trauma in my life nor have I been heartbroken in a long time, but fear and anxiety go hand in hand so it was a handy read for me.
Admittedly I am already very familiar with chakras due to my years of yoga and meditation practice. I was extremely skeptical the first time I heard of them – invisible energy channels in the body? Really? Whatever. Except the first time I ever did a chakra meditation I was blown away by the experience. Suffice it to say that I’m a full blown believer in the chakra system.
What’s fantastic about this book is that it was still an interesting insight for me even with my experience, but it’s also written in a way that makes it very easy to understand if you are just wading into the chakra waters for the very first time. (And if you’re a skeptic like I was, pick up a copy, set aside your doubts, and give chakra healing a try. It’s more powerful than you might believe right now!)
“Be Here Now” is practically the be all, end all of meditation mantras isn’t it? It’s in our nature to stress about things from the past and worry about things that may possibly happen in the future, but at the end of the day we can really only – yes – be here now. Ram Dass wrote about his experiences of transitioning from a Harvard professional to a man experimenting with the transcendental powers of LSD to wandering through India learning from holy men.
I know, I know. Acid. But this isn’t the story of someone getting high and then calling it spiritual. This was a man actually studying the brain and meditation and so much more.
It was a fascinating book to look through and it’s also beautiful. Once you’re done reading the first section that recaps Ram Dass’ life, it turns into a notepad of sorts, printed on brown paper sharing the insights that he learned over time. It’s fascinating, whether to actually take anything away from it in practice or not.
(Please don’t turn to LSD. You can just meditate, I promise.)
This story absolutely FASCINATED me. Dan Harris was reading a news segment on a live broadcast in front of millions of people when he had a panic attack, couldn’t continue, and threw it back over to his colleagues who feared he’d had some sort of stroke or other medical emergency.
He became determined to get on top of what he soon learned was anxiety and panic attacks but was extremely skeptical of meditation. However, when nothing else worked for him, he decided to give it a try and to his surprise it began to work.
This book is possibly the least woo-woo book on meditation that you will ever find. Dan sticks a lot to the science of meditation and explains his experiences as well as how and why they worked. He’s also a pretty funny guy – the description of his time at a silent meditation retreat had me giggling more than once.
It’s perfect for the person who rolls their eyes at spirituality but still wants to get in on the brain-changing powers of meditation.
It bears mentioning that Rebekah is someone that I have been following online for many years and who has now become someone I consider a friend. That doesn’t mean this is a biased review though. I came across Rebekah when I started doing her fitness videos on YouTube an eon ago. Over time, she shared less about workouts and more about her spiritual side and my interest in her videos and blog posts grew even more.
Rebekah is the queen of getting your “OM” done in four minutes of time. She’s too busy as a mom of five and an entrepreneur to sit for hours on a mountain top chanting. Instead she has helped to heal her own anxiety and depression by carving out small spaces of time – yes, even four minutes – to practice meditation.
Her book uses a beautiful combination of personal stories – many of which you have not come across online – and easy-to-apply meditation techniques to cover everything from stress to anxiety to grief. If meditation scares you because you think it’s too complicated, this is the book for you.
Those are some that have helped me tremendously. Now it’s your turn!
Please tell me some of your favorite mind-shift books that have helped you to reduce your stress or relieve your anxiety. Hey, even if it’s more of an overall personal development book, I’d love to know too!
Leave me a comment below so I can make sure I’m not missing out of an amazing, life-changing book!
Any time I get stuck dealing with anxiety or a panic attack, there are a few things that race through my brain every single time. They include things like:
“Can anyone tell this is happening? I don’t want anyone to know.”
“Breathe, breathe, breathe, I’m okay, breathe, breathe…”
“I hate anxiety, this is so STUPID, what is wrong with me?!”
And so on.
There’s also one other thing that almost always pops up in my head during these moments: “How can I make this stop?”
After a bit of research and experimentation, I found one thing that works really well at stopping anxiety really fast is using something that is easily accessible – my five senses.
How I stop anxiety fast using my 5 senses
Yep! Sight, sound, taste, smell, and touch. They have helped me derail a panic attack before it starts more than once. Here’s how it works for me.
I will look around me and ask myself, “what do I see?” Instead of going for the obvious of, say, “a white wall in front of me,” I will try to seek out something less in-my-face. I’ll tell myself, “I see a purple candle” or “I see a red car out the window.”
“What do I hear?” If I’m at home, I might say, “I hear George playing guitar downstairs and Breanna dancing in the living room.” If I’m mid-commute on my way to work, I can tell myself, “I hear the revving of the bus engine running.” Whatever sounds are around me, I might try to pick out up to three distinct ones. At work that could mean, “I hear my co-worker talking on the phone, I hear someone laughing down the hall, and I hear the quiet hum of the air conditioner.”
I’ll take a deep breath in through the nose (which is good for calming anxiety and stopping the hyperventilation effect anyway) and ask, “what can I smell?” Ideally the answers are all pleasant ones but even if they’re not, I’ll acknowledge them. “I smell vanilla from the candle that’s burning on my shelf.” Maybe “I smell fresh air blowing through the window.” Even the unfortunate, “I smell diesel exhaust from the car in front of me.” Good or bad, I just name what it is.
Okay. Next, “what do I taste right now?” This is easy if I’ve just eaten something or have a candy in my mouth. “I taste the curry from my lunch.” “I taste the peppermint from this minty candy I popped in my mouth.” Even if I haven’t eaten anything in particular recently, every mouth has a taste so I might have to seek out the right description but even, “hmm, my mouth tastes metallic” or “I sense a weird bitter taste” will work.
Finally, “what can I touch?” I don’t just go with simply saying that I can feel the table or my sweater, I describe it to myself. “I am touching a smooth, cool desk.” If I put my hand on my arm I can say, “I am touching a really soft, plush sweater.” Anything that I can reach out and touch or hold in my hands is a good option. I carry a Worry Stone of sorts in my purse, along with a mala so sometimes I will grab them and I am able to say, “I am touching a hard, smooth stone” or “I am touching my tiger’s eye mala and it is really cold.”
6. Bonus – Feel!
Perfect, so now I have covered what I can see, hear, smell, taste, and touch. I always try to aim for at least one for each category, sometimes multiple items for each. Now, here’s a bonus sense – Feel.
It’s not the same as the sense of touch. Feel is internal in this case. I will go through all five senses and then check in to ask myself how I currently FEEL.
I especially like to do this as a Before & After trick. Before starting the five basic senses I will ask myself how I feel and I might answer with something like, “I feel dizzy. I feel out of control. I feel scared.” It almost sounds counter-intuitive because often a first instinct is to try to ignore those things. If I refuse to acknowledge them, they’ll go away, right? Well, sometimes but not always. Naming those feelings actually creates a feeling of control and power.
Then once I have named how I feel and gone through sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch, I ask myself again – “How do I feel?” Hopefully by this time I can say, “I feel calmer. I feel grounded. I feel safe.”
Even if it’s not a perfect drop from Level 10 on the Anxiety scale to Level 1, at least I am usually at a lower point of stress and panic that I was when I started the whole process. If I’m not satisfied, I will start over, finding different answers to each question.
Why does it work?
It really comes down to distraction. In this case it’s distraction with a purpose because I’m asking myself the questions and seeking out the answers. The amygdala, the most ancient part of the human brain, is responsible for the “fight or flight” mechanism humans have. It kept us all safe at one time and still can, but many of us – myself included – have a broken fight or flight switch. My trip-wire in my amygdala gets flipped on for no good reason 99% of the time.
Luckily, because the amygdala is so primitive, it can’t focus on fear when the rest of the brain is engaged in something distracting or logical. If I force my brain to pay attention to my five senses, the shouting panic of the amygdala can no longer override my reactions and I inevitably calm down.
It has worked countless times for me. I find it has the best and fastest results if I’m paying attention and feel the anxiety building up. If I’m in full-blown panic mode then it’s a bit harder to focus on my senses; it still works but it might take 2-3 cycles instead of just one.
Did you just try it? Let me know in the comments if it helped! Better yet, share this post on Facebook/Twitter/Pinterest and tag someone who needs to try this too!
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We’re pretty laid back in this house. Other than a brief period of time where I worried Hayley would never eat a vegetable EVER (now she’d rather eat vegetables than meat), I’ve never really stressed out about food or meal times. We DO have a few family kitchen rules though. See if any of them sound familiar.
Household Kitchen Rules
Don’t talk with your mouth full so you don’t choke to death.
Seriously. No one can understand you anyway because all that pasta is muffling your vocal chords. Also, I really want to eat this meal too, and trying to do the Heimlich or calling 911 is going to get in the way of that. I totally want to hear a long explanation of the newest add-on to Minecraft but finish chewing first okay?
And while you’re eating and chewing and swallowing before you talk, let’s try to make healthy choices more often than not. If I’m being fully transparent, there are weeks where we are So.Damn.Busy that we buy frozen lasagna or Shepherd’s Pie from the store. It’s gross and doesn’t taste as good as fresh, but when you’ve got eight hundred activities in one week, homemade lasagna is NOT happening on a Wednesday night.
I don’t really care for food in a box that’s stuffed full of MSG shit because that’s not good for any of us. Luckily George starts and finishes work early enough that he can make some pretty tasty food most days and I fill in on the other days; we keep it to a minimum for the disgusting (yet strangely appealing) microwaveable meals.
For the love of all that is holy, use your cutlery, you are not a toddler.
Are we having chicken wings or ribs? Then by all means, go to town with your fingers and please try to remember to use a napkin once in awhile. But if we’re having steak or a quinoa skillet or spaghetti, stop picking that up with your hands, were you raised by wolves? Spoiler alert: No, you were not. Use a fork and knife!
Speaking of using your cutlery, how about using that fork to try something before you decide you don’t like it? We’ve always been lucky; neither kid is spectacularly picky but every once in awhile I have heard the, “I don’t think I’ll like that” whine. I am not the kind of parent who will force my child to clear their plate and eat food they can’t stand. If Hayley doesn’t want a pork chop but eats her potatoes, vegetables, and salad, I’m good. But I’ve always asked both kids to at least try a new food before deciding it’s not their thing.
P.S. If you already know you don’t like something, please stick with a “no thank you” or “I didn’t enjoy that last time.” There is zero need for “that is DISGUSTING” unless it’s organ meat, because that is DISGUSTING.
Practice basic etiquette so you don’t look like a wild animal if you’re eating in public some day.
Like I already said, we’re pretty laid back in this family. This isn’t Buckingham Palace. We burp and we laugh and we knock stuff over and that’s fine. We’re real people. But at least some basic etiquette is always appreciated. See point number one about not constantly talking with your mouth full. And chew with your mouth closed. (PLEASE. I do not want to hear you chewing.) And don’t wipe your mouth on your sleeve, that’s why we have napkins on the table*. I don’t care if neither one of my kids can identify a salad fork vs a main dish fork or knows what a “palette cleanser” course is. I do want them to be able to eat in front of other people without looking like they were just rescued from a deserted island though.
And once you’ve got those basic table skills locked down, maybe expand on the “try it first” rule and swap it out for “try it again”. Sometimes you need to try something more than once to decide you like it. Now, I tried blood pudding once and I 100% assure you that one time was plenty and no, I do not want any ever again, thank you so much. On the other hand, I used to think I hated mashed potatoes. What was I thinking? I must have been in a weird childhood phase because clearly mashed potatoes are delicious and go with any occasion. Had I never tried them again I would have missed out on one of the best food ever. (Also, I’m part Irish, what was wrong with me?!)
This rule has backfired sometimes though. My kids didn’t like scallops but then they tried them again, and now I have to share my damn scallops with them. Sigh.
*We may not actually have napkins some nights. That’s when we bust out a fresh roll of toilet paper. Classy.
We aren’t your personal servants, get up and clear your plate.
Seriously. I am your mother. That guy over there is your father. Neither of us is paid to be your wait staff. Last time I checked, you have two functional arms and two functional legs, EACH. Clearly there is no reason for you to be unable to get up, clear your plate off, and deposit it into the sink. And hint: You can also put condiments and whatnot back into the fridge just because you want to help, you don’t have to wait to be asked. Yeah.
The family pitch-in to help clean up after supper is doable because we also try really hard to have family dinners most of the time. Breakfast is sort of grab-as-you-can. George is usually gone to work before I’m out of bed, and during the school year Hayley prefers to eat something simple once she gets to school so Breanna eats cereal at the table and I eat toast while I catch the news. Our lunches are scattered too. But other than the occasional event, not much gets in the way of our family dinners.
When I first started working outside the home I got put in a 1 pm – 9 pm shift and it killed me to not have supper with my family all week long. Now that I’m on a 10 am – 6 pm shift I’m home pretty much every night to eat with everyone and we don’t take it for granted. Sometimes it’s loud, sometimes it’s silly, and sometimes it’s laid back, but I always love eating with my whole family.
Don’t hog the conversation (one family member is still working on that, won’t name names but it may rhyme with Breanna).
Those family dinners I mentioned are great but it’s easy for it to become some sort of situation where one person is practically holding court and no one else can talk. More than once I’ve opened my mouth to speak only to have someone steamroll right over me until I eventually have to shout, “hey, can I talk too?!” It works. Usually. But in all honestly, those times where we’re gathered around the table eating a good meal allow everyone to touch base. It’s where I share some crazy work story, George tells me about something ridiculous that was covered in political news, and the kids keep us up to date on school.
On the other hand, because we DO want the conversation, we keep a tight limit on device use at the table. Sometimes when George would be out in the past, I would announce a “read at the table” night where I would bring my eReader, Breanna would bring a book, and Hayley would watch something on YouTube on her phone. We don’t do it all the time, but once in awhile it’s kind of a fun way to just chill while you eat. Your mileage may vary but I strongly recall when I was a kid, sitting at the table alone with my meal and a stack of Archie comic books so I don’t mind doing it from time to time.
Those are our basic rules.
Some serious, some less-than-serious, but they’re all what work for us right now. If any of them stop working then we will re-adapt as we’ve done over the years.
To be honest, I get stressed out about way too many things (my bus commute, wondering about how insanely busy work will be, worrying whether my favorite Walking Dead character is going to die) to include meal time as one of them. I don’t want to yell and scream at my kids to eat every last speck on their plates. I don’t want to tell them to be quiet and let the grown-ups talk like we still live in the “children should be seen and not heard” era. And I certainly don’t want to look back and remember tense, angry, frustrating dinners.
We are far from perfect in this household but 95% of the time we laugh and have important conversations and create great memories, all around our kitchen table. Even if sometimes that kitchen table is serving up frozen Jamaican patties because we were too exhausted to make anything else.
What are YOUR basic kitchen rules? Let me know
in the comments below, I’d love to hear them!
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I think that probably the vast majority of us work in some sort of office space, whether it’s in your home or an office building. This leads to a lot of sitting down all day and letting our health slide. Luckily it’s not hard to stay healthy at a desk job – you just have to put a little mindfulness into it!
When you read some of these tips, you might find that you think, “well duh. That’s pretty obvious.” But then ask yourself how many of them you do consistently. I know that unless I remind myself to do these things, I will sometimes forget. So, consider this my reminder to you. I know that you probably know all of this, but I want to make sure we all remember to actually follow through so that we can be our healthiest selves even when we’re on the job.
In full disclosure, when I first sit down at my desk a few minutes before 10 am, there is no water in sight. At that point I am firmly clutching my cup of coffee. I don’t drink coffee at home before leaving for work because by the time I get the kids to school and commute on the bus to work, my bladder would be in full complaint mode. However, as soon as I arrive downtown, I buy myself a medium dark roast (one milk, one sugar), and bring it into the office with me.
That being said, once I’ve finished that coffee – usually by 10:30 at the latest – I will take my water bottle to the cooler and fill it up. I try to do that twice per shift to make sure I’m staying hydrated. I talk on the phone all day long so sometimes it’s a challenge to fit in the sips I need but at the same time, all that chit chat makes my mouth and throat dry so I’m pretty encouraged to try.
Keeping hydrated will help you to avoid fatigue, headaches, even nausea. Any time I feel a little bit “off” I reach for my water first to see if that’s what the underlying problem is.
First of all, if you’re falling the water advice, eventually you’ll need to take a stroll to the bathroom, so at the very least that will help the cause. Seriously though, it’s really easy to sit in that chair all day long without ever moving because it’s also really easy to get lazy. At the end of your shift though, you’ll be wondering why everything aches so much. Too much sitting. That’s why. Or at least part of the reason why.
Not every job allows you to walk all around the place. I have read advice that says, “instead of emailing your co-worker, walk to their desk and talk to them instead.” That would be great, but it’s not always feasible. I can’t just roam during my shift; many jobs require you to stay at your desk as much as possible, whether you’re working a reception desk, doing customer service, or any number of other similar jobs. If you can’t walk around, at least get up out of your seat. Stand up, wiggle your toes and your fingers, maybe do a few discreet stretches (this is not necessarily the time for a downward facing dog, but some gentle neck and shoulder stretches would be great).
Don’t stay at your desk on breaks.
Similarly, resist the temptation to stay at your desk when you CAN walk around. Break time is absolutely the time to really stretch those legs by moving. Take a lap or two around your office, walk over to chat with a friend, even just going into the break room and standing by the window while you have a little snack is great.
I have to heed my own advice. I do usually leave my desk for my breaks, but too often I walk to the break room (which is really close to where I sit) and then I lounge in one of the chairs in there. It’s not a great habit when you consider I sit on a bus to commute both ways and sit all day while I’m working. Do I really need to sit on my break too? No. No, I do not.
I have also started to develop a bad habit of eating my lunch at my desk. It’s not because I’m working through lunch (and if you are doing that, stop doing that right now. You need to take a break from working! Unless you’re doing it once in awhile so that you can leave early, stop working through lunch!). However, I have been heating up my lunch in the microwave, and then bringing it back to my desk so I can scroll through Facebook or read blogs while I eat. It’s been saving me on using up my phone’s battery charge but it’s not a great habit.
Get out of the office if you can.
Is it a nice day? If you have the chance, I suggest heading outside for at least one of your breaks. It can be hard to come back in when it’s beautiful and sunny, but it really will lift your mood and re-energize you, especially if it’s an afternoon break when you might otherwise be slumping a bit.
If it’s raining but I’m just itching to get out of the office, I’m lucky enough to have some pedways that I can walk through. I almost get the illusion of being outside, but I stay dry. If your office is in a mall, you could walk around that for a little bit, or if it’s a large building you can hit the stairs for a few flights. Either way, you get moving and get away from the buzz of your office space.
Do you work from home? Get out and walk around your block!
Make sure your monitor is at eye level.
We’re always reminded to try to maintain good posture, but do you know how hard it is to do that when you are either looking up at your monitor, or worse, looking down at it? It can easily lead to slouching in your seat and it puts an incredible amount of pressure on your neck. When you’re finished work for the day, do you find that your neck and shoulders are super stiff? Check your monitor height. It should be placed so that you can look straight on at it.
It’s an easy fix if your monitor is not currently at eye level. If it’s too high, lower the stand it’s on or raise your chair and keyboard tray accordingly. If it’s too low and you can’t raise it any higher, try stacking it on something – an actual monitor stand, a box, a pile of books, whatever you need to get it to the height you require.
Look around to rest your eyes.
Speaking of your monitor, that headache you sometimes experience may have nothing to do with dehydration if you’re drinking water regularly. It could be because of eye strain though. If you’re staring at a screen all the livelong day like I do, one of the best things you can do for yourself is look at something else every so often. Turn away and let your vision focus gently on something 10 to 20 feet away. Then look at something really far away. Look out the window, look at a co-worker, let your vision soften completely, or even close your eyes.
The break will do you so much good.
What are you eating?
If you work outside the home there can be a huge temptation to eat out every day. My office is directly over a food court. It would be SO EASY to go buy myself lunch every day. On the other hand, most of the choices aren’t overly healthy, and the ones that are cost a small fortune. I’d either be overspending or eating food that will not serve me well in any way.
The majority of the time I bring my lunch from home. I know that some people do amazing food prep. Just go on Instagram and search for #foodprep and you’ll be super inspired. I don’t do this though. I think it’s amazing but I just have no desire to spend any of my Sunday cooking up a week’s worth of lunches. However, we always have leftovers from supper, so I take some of that in a container to heat up at work. Our meals are healthy more often than not, save for our Friday night pizzas and the occasional busy-night-chicken-strips, so that means my lunch is also healthy.
I do go down to the food court once in awhile to get something as a treat or when we just don’t have any leftovers. Sometimes that means Indian or Korean takeout, sometimes it means a greasy burger and salty fries from Mickey D’s, but since it’s not my everyday experience, it doesn’t blow up my budget or my digestive system.
Those are my tips for staying healthy at a desk job.
After being cooped up for much of the winter, as soon as the weather starts to improve I get eager to do things like get out in my yard, sit on the back deck, and go hiking in Halifax and the surrounding area. Yes, I know there are plenty of things you can do in the winter and I’m not exactly a full-on hermit, but I do prefer to be outside when it’s NOT cold or snowing.
A couple of years ago I read Wild by Cheryl Strayed and it got me a little hopped up about finding places to go hiking around Halifax. I’m not quite ready to do something like Cheryl did, hiking the Pacific Crest Trail and sleeping out in a tent each night she was out, but some family-friendly hiking trails? Yes please.
Bayers Lake Mystery Walls Trail
One of the places that I found was commonly referred to as the Bayers Lake Mystery Walls. Essentially there are some stone wall-type structures that have never been explained in historical documentation. They were clearly built with purpose and they are now protected so I can only guess that they’ve determined they weren’t built by bored teenagers 30 years ago, but no one really know who exactly built them or what purpose they actually serve. They do believe they’ve been there since the early 1800’s though.
Bayers Lake Mystery Walls
We kept forgetting to go check them out but then when we had a nice Sunday ahead of us with no plans a couple of weeks ago, we decided we wanted to escape the house for a bit. The forecast was iffy so we decided to go see these walls for ourselves since the trail isn’t super long and we could drive back home quickly if it started to rain.
Bayers Lake Mystery Walls
As as added bonus, as is pretty much always the case, being out in the woods and the fresh air while getting some exercise were all perfect for taking a load off and dumping some stress and anxiety out.
I had read a description stating that the hiking trail is “moderate” – as in not easy, but you’re not going to plummet to your death off a cliff’s edge either. This was pretty accurate but I would add a little on to that – yes, it’s a moderate trail but be prepared to climb up over some big rocks if you want to go all the way around the loop. I’m not exactly at my best on rock but I managed, and the kids and George did fine. Breanna needed a bit of help just because she’s the shortest but nothing major. However, younger children might not be able to make it up safely.
Bayers Lake Mystery Walls
Also, the trail is very narrow so if you go in the summer I would strongly advise against wearing shorts unless you enjoy scratching the ever-lovin’ hell out of your legs. Wear pants.
The rock area is the only major climbing section other than some stone steps which were easy to walk up; there is a fairly steep descent after the steps, but it isn’t scary, there are no edges to fall from, and it’s a dirt trail. If you aren’t adverse to leaning in and grabbing on to tree trunks, you’ll be fine.
Bayers Lake Mystery Walls
Bayers Lake Mystery Walls
As for finding your way, as I said the trail is super narrow in most places so it would be easy to get off track, but luckily there are orange ribbons tied along the way to just follow those. At the end of the day, it’s a good loop trail but the overall area isn’t really that big and it’s located in the center of a commercial area so it would be difficult to get completely lost. Worst case, the cell reception is just fine so you can always pull up a map to find your way out if you get turned around.
I will say that you shouldn’t go in expecting a full-on structure. The five-sided building is not built up very high and the long wall further along is maybe three feet high. It’s hard to say whether the building had ever been bigger. Maybe whomever was putting it together had to stop before it was finished. It was definitely cool though, and it was fun to check it out.
Bayers Lake Mystery Walls
Bayers Lake Mystery Walls
Note: As I said above, it is a protected area. You are forbidden from climbing up on top of the walls so even though it would be tempting, don’t do it. Also, please don’t be a jerk and take any of the rocks home with you. It’s stated that there are cameras in the area and although I didn’t manage to see one, I wouldn’t take any chances. Besides, why risk messing the whole thing up by knocking parts of it down? Don’t ruin it for everyone else!
Bayers Lake Mystery Walls
I actually have no idea how long it took us because I forgot to check the time going in and coming back out, ha! But it’s really not a long trail. Even with stopping to check the walls out, my efforts in climbing up the rocks, and making our way back down, not to mention all the breaks to take pictures, I would say we were probably about 40 minutes. You could easily do it in half an hour or less if you just want a quick hike.
Bayers Lake Mystery Walls
I think that the coolest part for me is the whole “hidden in plain sight” factor. We have driven past the area more than once but you would never know it was there just from glancing over. No one even knew it existed until they started developing the Bayers Lake area in the 80’s – I’m so glad they’ve protected it instead of just bulldozing over everything to put in a store.
If you are in the Halifax area and haven’t seen it yet, head to Bayer’s Lake and get on Chain Lake Drive. Turn on to Lovett Lake Ct. and park in the parking lot at the end. You’ll see a wide open trail which is where you’ll want to start but be careful! We walked right past the entrance to the actual trail leading to the walls the first time and ended up down by Chain Lake Drive again! Remember – hidden in plain sight. When you’re on the open trail, keep your eyes open; just as that trail turns right, you’ll see a hint of a trail up ahead in the trees. That’s where you want to go.
Let me know if you head out to check this area out. Also I’m up for some good suggestions – where are some of your favorite places to hike in the Halifax and surrounding areas? And if you aren’t local, tell me about your favorite place to hike in your hometown!
One of the most amazing things about the human brain is that as complex as it may be, you can trick it into believing something just by repeating it often enough. The downside, of course, is that if you constantly tell yourself, “I’m not good enough” or “I am terrible at [insert whatever you’re telling yourself here]” or “I’m stupid,” then you’ll start to genuinely feel that it’s true. The not-always-obvious upside, though, is that this means you can change your story by using positive dialogue. So let’s look at how to use affirmations to improve your life.
How to use affirmations to improve your life
What is an affirmation?
Before you can learn how to use one, you need to understand what an affirmation is in the first place. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines affirmation as “something affirmed: a positive assertion His memoir is a reflective affirmation of family love.” But for our purposes, it’s a little bigger than that. An affirmation is a statement that you repeat to yourself with the belief and understanding that it is true.
The unfortunate reality for most of us is that our inner critic tends to go on auto-pilot, so much of our time is spent affirming negative things to ourselves. Have you ever noticed how easily it can spiral out of control? It might start with something simple like, “Oh great, I slept in and now I have to rush to get to work. I’m so lazy!” Then it becomes, “I’m such an idiot!” when you spill our coffee on your shirt. Next, you make a mistake at your job, and even if it’s not that big of a deal, your brain says, “See, you’re so stupid. You’re probably going to get fired. How are you going to pay rent? Way to go, loser, now you’re going to be unemployed and get evicted and you’ll be sleeping on the streets.”
That’s a pretty wild train ride that kicked off just because you hit snooze on your alarm clock, right? But it’s so easy to let the negativity convince our brains that we really are lazy, stupid, hopeless, fat, ugly, destined for a life of failure.
What we want to do is drown out the auto-pilot and start using POSITIVE affirmations to re-train our brains to believe the best for ourselves.
How to formulate a positive affirmation
There are three key factors to creating positive affirmations that work:
Make it positive
Keep it in the present tense
Keep it at the front of your mind throughout your day
Let’s break those down one by one.
Make it positive. That sounds obvious. If we want a positive affirmation, then of course it needs to be positive. What I mean is don’t say what you don’t want, say what you do want. Here’s an example: You might decide that you want to break your habit of sleeping in until 11 am on the weekends to make the most of your days off. You could say, “I don’t want to sleep late on the weekends” but there’s a negative statement in that affirmation. Instead, make it positive by saying, “I wake up early on the weekends.” You’re inviting what you want instead of confirming what you don’t want.
Keep it in the present tense. Take another look at that example I just gave you. Did you notice it’s in the present tense? It can be difficult to say “I wake up early on the weekends” when that’s not yet true. Likewise, saying an affirmation like, “I am a successful writer/business owner/data analyst/salsa dancer/etc” when you really don’t feel close to successful at all can feel like you’re lying to yourself. You aren’t so much lying, though, as you are setting yourself up for success. If you put it in the future and tell yourself, “I am going to be a successful writer” then you are always keeping it in the future, just out of reach. When you consistently say it in the present tense, you are training your brain to act as if it is already true and that changes your entire way of being.
Keep it in the front of your mind throughout your day. It’s not enough to sit up in bed, repeat your affirmation a few times, and then forget about it all day. If your affirmation is “I make healthy food choices easily and consistently” it’s not going to be much help if you aren’t still thinking about it at lunch time when you’re heading out to grab a bite to eat. You don’t need to constantly chant your affirmation every waking second of your day, but keep it in the forefront of your thoughts and revisit it regularly. It’s a reminder to your brain to act in accordance with what you are telling it to be true.
How you can use your positive affirmation(s)
Basically, the sky is the limit. Better yet, the only true limit is your own imagination. You can use positive affirmations to reframe everything from your health to your work ethic to your daily habits. Here are some examples of affirmations that I use regularly.
“I am peaceful and I am calm, I am healthy and I am strong.” I use this one as a method of dealing with anxiety.
“I enjoy waking up early on weekends.” “I enjoy getting up as soon as my alarm goes off.” Why yes, I am working on adjusting my morning start times. How did you guess?
“Today is an amazing day.” Said with a huge smile, I like to use this one in particular on Mondays when the knee-jerk reaction might not be quite so enthusiastic.
Whatever story that you’ve been telling yourself that has been bringing you down is a perfect opportunity for a positive affirmation. You are not required to believe the negative things you say about yourself – you can change the narrative at any time.
Once you’ve decided on your affirmation, making sure that it’s both positive and in the present tense, sit quietly and repeat it to yourself 5-10 times. Then, remembering the third factor for using affirmations, repeat it a few times periodically throughout the day as needed.
One final note on positive affirmations
Affirmations are amazing and more powerful than you might imagine, and I strongly suggest giving them a try to see what changes you notice in your life. However, they are not magic wands. Just like you can’t say your mantra in the morning and expect it to magically still be working 12 hours later without giving it any further thought, you also can’t expect them to work if you are fickle with them. If you tell yourself, “I get up early on the weekends” on Friday night, but then say, “I make healthy food choices” on Saturday morning, and follow it up with “I am a smart and successful business owner” on Sunday afternoon you are not giving them a chance to work.
While it’s certainly fine to use more than one affirmation at a time, whatever you choose needs to be re-affirmed consistently. Throwing an affirmation out into the world once and never saying it again isn’t going to change much of anything except maybe the first five minutes of your day. You need to use the same affirmation(s) regularly to see improvements. I suggest at least a week, but longer is better. Like I said, they aren’t magic wands and telling yourself you make healthy food choices once is not going to turn around the habit of years of poor food choices.
Be patient and allow the affirmations time to work. Just because you don’t see them working on day one does not mean that they won’t be working on day 15. Give them a chance.
What affirmations are you going to try first? Tell me in the comments below!