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After growing my hair out to be the longest it’s been in years, I was too comfortable and complacent with it. It was time for a change!

I decided on Friday night that I wanted to get my hair cut, and it was basically all I thought about until my appointment Sunday afternoon.

My cheeks literally hurt from smiling during my appointment because the change was making me so happy.

Here’s my before:

And here’s my after:

I immediately felt so much lighter, happier, better and just more me than I have in a while. I knew this small change was just one of many necessary steps in my journey.

I can’t really explain it, but I feel like a lot of things changed for me once nine inches of my hair were on the salon floor. I feel like that sounds silly or trivial, but it’s true for me.

I feel like I’ve woken up and am seeing the world and myself a bit differently.

Last night I was inspired to finally change my Instagram handle. It included my maiden name, so I’d been meaning to change it for a while but had never gotten around to it. Now I feel like it encompasses me and the journey I’m on with this blog and my life in general: beyoutiful_jessica.

I was talking to Christina (the_awakenedlife) last night, and we had a great conversation about owning your power. She recently changed up her hair as well, which is one of the reasons I was inspired to change mine now as well, and she said it felt like the length she cut off was releasing her. I feel the same way!

I was talking to her about how excited I was about my big hair change, and she said “Yayyy for a new you!” and I responded, “Same me, but a new perspective on who I really am ;)” And I really do believe that.

I’ve always been the same person on the inside, deep down, despite or even because of the different things I’ve gone through. I feel like at least part of the true me was just waiting for me to recognize and realize that, and I’m at that stage now. 

My soul was waiting for me to awaken, and I’m there, baby! And it’s not only because I got a haircut, but that was definitely a catalyst. And I don’t care if other people think that sounds weird. That’s my truth!

If something feels a bit off in your life and you have some control over it, take a step and do something! It can be anything from getting a haircut to following or unfollowing some people on social media, having a long talk with a friend or going to see a movie by yourself.

Break yourself out of your comfort zone, bit by bit, and see what happens. Who knows? Maybe something great is waiting for you on the horizon, but first you have to take that first big or little step.

The post Why I Cut Nine Inches Of My Hair Off appeared first on Beyoutiful Beauty.

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As I’ve mentioned once or twice before, I’ve been going through a lot of changes lately, some by force and some by choice.

I’ve decided to do something different with my hair, so I looked through a bunch of my old Facebook profile pictures for hair inspiration.

As cheesy as it sounds, I was inspired by much more than just my hair in those photos. I found myself looking at so many different versions of myself, most of which I’ve forgotten about by now, for better or worse.

It was really fun to go through a bunch of old memories and see how I used to see myself in selfies or pictures with other people. It was almost surreal at times, really. If you haven’t gone through your old Facebook photos lately, I’d highly recommend it!

It was really eye opening for me, so I wanted to talk about my experience and share some of my profile pictures and the stories behind them. I chose one photo for each year since 2007 when I first joined Facebook, so here we go!

June 2007

I first joined Facebook in June 2007 after getting back from a school trip to France. Before the trip, I didn’t get the hype around Facebook and thought I didn’t really need it. I said I was just getting an account so I could see my classmates’ photos of the trip, but hey I’m still here so I guess it’s pretty cool after all haha.

This was one of my favorite photos for a really long time. I’ve always loved the French language and the landmarks and everything, and this trip was life-changing for me. Twelve years later (how?!), I still honestly can’t believe I got to go visit the Eiffel Tower and the other amazing places we saw on that two-week trip.

I also remember how fat I felt on the trip, especially in a country where the stereotype says everyone is skinny. Looking at this photo now, I can’t believe how skinny I look. Everything is relative, right? I was so happy in this moment and knew I wanted to capture it on film, despite being worried about my body size, and I’m so glad that I did.

October 2008

I mean, this picture is me in a nutshell, really. This was taken on a night where I was hanging out with two awesome friends who lived in my dorm my freshman year of college. I remember we stayed up almost all night by watching movies, chatting, pretending to drink out of shampoo bottles that looked like beer bottles (they didn’t even really look like that, but enough that we thought it was funny? I don’t even know) and exploring various floors of our dorm building.

This was probably one of my favorite nights of my freshman year experience or maybe even college in general. We had a blast running around, chatting and being goofy, and it was so fun and care free. I hadn’t had a lot of other memories like that at this point in my life, so I definitely wanted to mention it in this post.

I make funny faces all the time. I have a horrible poker face, and I can never really hide how I’m feeling. I can’t remember exactly what happened in the moment this photo was taken, but I remember being confused by something and then laughing hysterically once I saw the photo. This isn’t a stereotypically flattering profile picture, but I knew even then that it defined me, and it was such a perfect night that I wanted to remember and share it.

April 2009

Honestly, my freshman year of college was pretty great for the most part. At Concordia College, they held a music festival every spring featuring various musical acts. My freshman year, the main act was Hellogoodbye. I was obsessed with them for years, so when I heard they were coming, I freaked out.

A friend from high school and I were in the front row for all the previous acts so we could see Hellogoodbye front and center. It worked, and the night was one I’ll always remember. After Hellogoodbye’s set was over, my friend and I took off running toward the side of the stage with a girl we had just met because we had to try to meet the band. I still can’t believe we did it, but we did.

We bolted behind a black curtain and met everyone in the band. We got a group picture with all of them and then lead singer Forrest Kline took pictures with us individually, too, before security kicked us out. I rode on the high of this night for so, so long. I will forever cherish this photo and this night.

October 2010

This is probably one of my favorite photos of all time. Basically anyone who knows me knows about my deep love and obsession with Rocky Horror Picture Show. Various theatre troupes in the Fargo-Moorhead area have done the play over the last decade or so, but this was definitely the most memorable for me.

At first it was hard for me to get over how shiny (aka, horrible) my forehead looked, but come on. Even I couldn’t deny the magnetism that Frank-N-Furter was serving and the pure joy I exuded from being there and meeting him after the show.

June 25, 2011

I’m sensing a theme here of my favorite photos of all time. This was my attempt at being very clever, and I was so freaking proud of this selfie for so, so long. This was taken on one of the best weekends of my life: I turned 21 and then saw Michael Buble in concert the day afterwards in Duluth.

In the second part of his set, he came into the audience and got “so close” to us. I couldn’t not get this photo taken! Again, anyone who knows me knows about my obsession with him and his music. I’m surprised I was able to breathe at all this night, being in the same building as him and listening to him sing.

I was just in pure bliss the entire time that I didn’t care how sweaty I was getting or how my makeup started smudging or the fact that the spaghetti straps of my dress kept slipping as I kept dancing away. None of that mattered to me at all. I was seeing my idol perform, and nothing else came close.

April 2012

In my last semester of college, I took a digital photography class. As part of our final project, we split up with partners and explored downtown and took pictures of places and each other with interesting angles and tools. My partner took this picture of me, and at first I didn’t like it because I thought it made me look huge and like a poser or like I didn’t know what I was doing. News flash: I didn’t know what I was doing then, and I certainly still don’t now.

I don’t think I even knew that I really loved this photo at the time, but I remember making it my profile picture for a while because it was a cool angle. It was cool, but it wasn’t just the angle that made it so. I made it so.

Now when I look at this picture, I see a badass who isn’t afraid to rock sunglasses, a long fake pearl necklace and a whole lot of sass while posing. I’ve never been a big fan of pictures of just myself, especially full body shots, but this one stood out to me. I feel like my partner got a glimpse into my soul even though I didn’t even realize it at the time.

August 2013

Meet my younger sister, Emily. I believe this was one of many in a series she took on her laptop as we posed in the kitchen at home. Josh and I were just visiting and were about to leave when my sister said, “Wait!” Some pictures were funny, some were loving and some were just weird. This was my definite favorite, for obvious reasons.

We’re all so goofy and owning it in this photo. It’s not a super flattering angle, and none of us look great in the traditional sense. But it’s real life, man. I have a quirky ass family, and I’m so grateful for them.

December 2014

Remember when I said I had a quirky family? Here’s another example for ya. This is me, Josh, my sister and one of her friends in all of our awkward glory. It really sums all of us up quite well somehow, and it never fails to make me laugh when I see it.

I think this started out as a nice photo shoot to remember the holidays, and this is where it ended up. Sounds about right. Again, I’m grateful for all of our quirkiness and uniqueness because those qualities have made a lot of great memories for me.

May 2015

People have always said my sister and I look so much alike, and normally we both agree that we don’t see it, but here we definitely do. This was taken at a party for her high school graduation. It’s funny because she and I have gone through a lot of ups and downs with each other, but I really love this photo of us. We’re both goofy, smiling, laughing and posing in our own albeit similar ways. I will always cherish this photo.

This was one of my all-time favorite outfits, and I’m so sad that I don’t have it anymore. Something spilled on this dress, and I just couldn’t get it clean ever again. I’m not sure what happened to the blazer, but I think I still have that necklace somewhere, so #winning.

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Photo by David von Diemar on Unsplash

t’s time for me to embrace my inner foul-mouthed witchy bitch.

For too long, I’ve hidden parts of me from the world or even myself in order to better accommodate others or what I think others want and need from me. But I just can’t do that anymore.

Many people know how much I love reading, Harry Potter, The Office, self-love, makeup, music, writing, bright colors and spirituality.

But not as many people know how much I also really enjoy witchy things and swearing because I’ve been hesitant to share those things consistently or as often as I’d like to.

I feel like I always have to present a certain version of myself to the world and that I can’t veer away from that. I’m sure part of that comes from being a first-born child of divorce who always wants to be people pleaser and put others needs ahead of my own.

I didn’t realize until recently how ingrained those principles still are in my life, and I’ve decided now is the time to break that cycle. I can’t keep sharing only certain parts of myself. It’s not fair to me, and it’s not fair to the people who read my posts and messages.

I find myself holding back when I want to swear sometimes on here or on social media because I feel like I have to present the “good girl” persona I’ve followed for most of my life and “good girls” don’t swear. Well, fuck that.

I’m sick of being so careful with what I want to share whether it’s here, on social media or IRL. I know I have good intentions with what I’m sharing, and if someone else takes things a different way, I know I can’t control that or keep trying to.

I’ve already wasted too much time holding in my inner light in case someone else doesn’t like it. As I mentioned, I’m used to being the good girl and the people pleaser. I’m not saying that’s totally going to end now, but I’m going to start embracing every part and aspect of myself and my personality without worrying about what other people might think or if they approve of it or not.

It’s my life, and I’m ready to really start living it to the fullest.

It’s time we all started embracing ourselves. Do you find yourself hiding parts of yourself either physically in photos or emotionally online or in person? Aren’t you sick of not feeling like a full person? I know I am.

So here I am, embracing all of myself, from the breakouts on my face to the rough edges of my heels, from my compassion to my anger, and everything in between.

Will you, too?

The post It’s Time appeared first on Beyoutiful Beauty.

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Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash

Sometimes you just need a good quote or two to help set you back on the right path. Over the years, I’ve saved quotes in the Notes app on my phone or screenshotted ones I’ve found online and today I thought it’d be a good idea to put them all in one place.

Some are about self-love, some are about life in general and others are about taking charge. Take what resonates with you and leave the rest for someone else.

If you have any to add to this list, or if my credits are inaccurate, please comment down below.

I hope you find the message you’re looking for:

“You’re not behind in life. There’s no timetable that we all must follow. It’s made up. Seven billion people can’t do everything in the same order. What’s early? What’s late? Compared to whom? Don’t beat yourself up for where you are. It’s YOUR schedule and everything is right on time.” – Emily Maroutian

“Detours aren’t always bad, and getting there sooner isn’t always better.” – Marie Forleo

“I don’t care if my power freaks you out. I’m going to carry it anyways.” – Rayne Lew

“In any way that it happens, it serves me.” – Christina Valenzuela

“You can’t find self-love by walking a path paved from self-hatred.” – Virgie Tovar

“You can’t advocate for yourself if you won’t admit what you are.” – Lindy West

“You find yourself in darkness, during the ‘tough’ times. It takes darkness to see light. How else would light discover itself?” – Christopher Carmichael

“‘Finding yourself’ is not really how it works. You aren’t a ten-dollar bill in last winter’s coat pocket. You are also not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, other people’s opinions and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became your beliefs about who you are. ‘Finding yourself’ is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a remember who you were before the world got its hands on you.” – Emily McDowell

“Be brave enough to look at what you really want and patient enough to acknowledge the steps it’ll take to get there.” – Jessica Lanyadoo

“You can’t let people scare you. You can’t go your whole life trying to please everyone else. You can’t go through life worried about what everyone else is going to think. Whether it’s your hair, clothes, what you have to say, how you feel, what you believe and what you have. You can’t let the judgment of others stop you from being you. Because if you do, you’re no longer you. You’re someone everyone else wants you to be.” – Anonymous

“I have suffered for the peace inside my mind.” – Brandi Carlile

“Repeat after me: I am allowed to be BOTH a work in progress AND help others grow at the same time. I refuse to wait until I believe I’m perfect or someone else has deemed me worthy of impacting others. I am unapologetically accepting a life of massive growth and improvement.” – Anonymous

“You don’t have to like everything about yourself to love yourself.” – Anonymous

“The only failure is quitting. Everything else is just gathering information.” – Jen Sincero

“Life is so much more beautiful and complex than a number on a scale.” – Tess Munster

The post Inspirational Quotes You Might Need Right Now appeared first on Beyoutiful Beauty.

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Photo by Soroush Karimi on Unsplash

We all need to heal from something, and even though we want to, we can’t rush it. We can’t push it down or ignore it either. We have to work through it one day or even one moment at a time.

They say time heals all wounds, and that may be true, but only if you put the work in. You have to feel uncomfortable feelings, think through tough situations and try to find a way to make it out on the other side.

Because of all of that, you can’t deal with healing your traumas until you’re really ready for it. I’ve tried to this and failed a few times, and I’m sure I’ll keep failing in the future. We’re all guilty of trying to handle things before we’re ready sometimes, and healing is no different.

It’d be great if we could process big things right after they happened and then move on with our lives, but we can’t, at least not successfully.

It makes sense why we need to have time to process and work through things, especially if we’re sad or angry at the time, as those emotions can (and often do) cloud our judgments.

We need to be okay with taking time to process any healing that we’re trying to work though.

We need to be okay with not being able to button up every situation perfectly right after something happens. We need to be okay with being uncomfortable for a while.

If we don’t, no real change or metamorphosis can happen because we won’t really be giving ourselves a fair chance.

As much as it fucking sucks sometimes, we have to be okay and comfortable with knowing we don’t have all the answers and that we don’t know when we’ll end up getting those answers.

A lot of unfair things can happen in a lifetime. Some might have been your fault, but I’m guessing most of them weren’t. It can be really hard to process and move on from things that happen to us that we didn’t ask for or that make us feel like we’ve moved backwards in life.

But if we fight through those emotions and try to figure out what we can learn from them instead of ignoring them or shoving them down and pretending everything’s perfectly fine, real progress can be made.

There’s no set timeline for how long this will take, and it will be different for every single person on this planet and in the Universe.

But please don’t rush it. Don’t pretend like everything is fine and you’re over it if you’re really not. That’s not fair or authentic to you or anyone else.

This is your permission to think about things however long you need to, regardless of where other people think you should be in your journey by now. A lot of wild things have probably happened to you in your life, and I’m sure they’re not going to stop now.

We can’t control most of what happens to us in life, but we can control how we react to and process them.

The habits you start working on now could help you for years or decades to come. All you have to do is try. Don’t give up on yourself. You deserve to at least try to move on from your past trauma, whatever it was, and move onto your healing process.

Do not rush it. The healing will come if you let it and are open to it. Being open to it can be scary as fuck, but it’s a hell of a lot better than hiding and ignoring big events and occurrences in your life, I can promise you that.

The post You Can’t Rush Your Healing appeared first on Beyoutiful Beauty.

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Instagram has become one of my favorite places to spend my time lately. It’s become a mostly positive environment where I can learn and grow.

I’ve been very careful about who I’m following now. I’ve unfollowed so many accounts and people I just didn’t resonate with anymore, and as a result I’ve found a lot more accounts and people that I might not have found before I embarked on this journey.

I’ll be doing a few posts about my favorite Instagrammers, but today let’s focus on body positivity because, duh. It’s kind of my jam. Here are my top nine favorites in alphabetical order:

bodyposipanda

Megan Jayne Crabbe was one of the first body positive Instagram accounts I ever found. I bought her book, Body Positive Power, a few months ago and haven’t started reading it yet but know I will 100% love it. She used to battle eating disorders but has since learned how to love and celebrate her body. She often posts videos of her dancing to various songs to show that you can dance and have fun even if your body jiggles. I just love her and all the content she shares.

fatgirlflow

I can’t remember where I first heard about Corissa Enneking, but she’s been a refreshing addition to my Instagram feed for a while now. She posts a lot of selfies and other body shots of her doing normal things with her body. I know that sounds obvious, but it’s amazing how much of a difference it makes to see someone with a similar-ish body to mine loving and embracing hers.

lizzobeeating

I mean, it’s Lizzo. Need I say more? She’s everything I aspire to be as far as confidence and body positivity go. She so deserves all the attention she’s been getting lately for her newest album, and she absolutely slayed at the Met Gala (and also basically every appearance ever). I’m going to be doing a separate blog post just about how she’s inspired me in my life, so I’ll leave it at this: Lizzo is an icon.

readytostare

I also can’t remember how I first found Alysse Dalessandro, but I’m so glad that I did. She posts a lot about fashion that’s actually trendy for plus size people, and similar to Corissa, she also posts a lot about her daily life, vacations, etc. Seeing differently shaped bodies in my feed has been so helpful for me to work on accepting my own body as well.

scarrednotscared

Michelle Elman wrote a book, Am I Ugly?, and she has also amassed followers on YouTube. Watching her Instagram stories has quickly become a highlight of my days because she talks about a variety of topics and isn’t afraid to say something controversial about the industry if she really believes it. I think she’s one of the most genuine Instagrammers I follow, and I’m grateful for her content that excites and challenges me.

selfloveliv

Watching Olivia’s Instagram stories has become another one of my highlights. She’s very open with the fact that she has depression and anxiety and that she’s overcome some eating disorders. She’s an advocate for both mental health and body positivity, and her vulnerability is so refreshing.

shooglet

Shooglet’s Instagram account has definitely been one of my favorites because of its rawness and vulnerability. They are a photographer who captures such raw, beautiful moments for people, most of whom are nude. At first their account made me a bit uncomfortable, and then I realized how necessary it was for me in my life. I mean, talk about being comfortable with your body!

_sophiack_

Sophie Carter-Kahn is a co-host of the She’s All Fat podcast, and you all know how much I love that podcast! She posts a lot of selfies and gets very honest and vulnerable, both in her Instagram posts and her stories. She’s an advocate for size inclusion from brands, which I think more influencers need to be vocal about.

theslumflower

Chidera Eggerue is responsible for the #saggyboobsmatter movement, so she’s not shy about showing off how confident she is in her body. She also wrote a book called What A Time To Be Alone, and she talks a lot about feeling confident and content with yourself first instead of relying on another person’s validation. She’s very vocal about a variety of issues and topics, and she challenges me to think differently, which I appreciate.

The post My Nine Favorite Body Positive Instagram Accounts appeared first on Beyoutiful Beauty.

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Photo by Kate Williams on Unsplash

We always look to other people to save or help us or give us the solution to our problems or distract us. But deep down we know that’s not sustainable.

We need to be our own salvation or sanctuary. As Megan famously said in Bridesmaids, you’re your problem, but you’re also your solution.

We need to learn how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable in our journeys. We need to believe in ourselves enough to think that we can solve our problems and calm the chaos in our lives.

We need to share our stories instead of keeping them all inside. Shielding others from our stories makes us want to bury deeper inside ourselves and our comfort zones. No more!

I see you, struggling but still trying, sometimes not trying at all, other times trying too hard to make something work even if you know it’s not the right choice or option for you.

I see you, not knowing what you want to do with your life or where the money will come from to pay your bills or how you will get through all these challenges and obstacles in your way.

But I also see you, rising up from the ashes, trying again because it’s a new day or even a new moment, wanting more from yourself and your life, knowing you deserve better.

I see you, not knowing what’s next but slowly moving forward, one tiny step at a time, figuring out what you really need and want in life regardless of what anyone else says or thinks or wants for you.

I see you, healing your inner trauma, getting back out there, trying new things, sharing your stories, whether it’s in a journal, internally or with another person, knowing you’re not really alone even if no one is around you.

I see you, making mistakes and fucking up but still moving forward, learning, trying, doing anything differently, breaking your own deeply held patterns and beliefs.

I see you, wanting to find a book or podcast or person to tell you what you need to do next in your life instead of wanting to work through all that rough and tough shit yourself because you don’t want to put yourself out there in case you fail (and you will).

I see you because I’ve been there, in every single one of those scenarios.

You are not alone.

I see you. Do you see you?

The post I See You appeared first on Beyoutiful Beauty.

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Photo by Ahmet Sali on Unsplash

Now is not the perfect time for me to be blogging.

My life is a mess. I keep waiting for more things to be settled before I start writing and sharing my voice again. But I’m learning that that’s not how life works.

So here I am, in the process of cleaning and decluttering a house before we can move more of our boxes and furniture into it instead of in the garage.

We just checked out of our apartment that we lived in for four years, where Josh proposed to me, where we made a cozy home, where I lived when I was let go from two jobs and so much more.

On that note, I’m still in the process of looking for a new full-time job. My life is honestly a mess right now. But I am here.

I’ve also learned that I’m still not fully over getting let go for the second time. When I was let go from my job before this one, it was in an impersonal group setting. The opposite was the case this last time. I was called into an office by myself and told I was being let go. I didn’t realize until recently how much it had hurt me and was still hurting me because I hadn’t fully processed it.

Adulthood, man. There’s always something (or several things) going on and you have to just keep on keeping on.

I’ve noticed that I’ve put my personal development and spiritual journey on hold during this crazy period of transition in my life, and the toll is finally starting to get to me. There are so many stressors coming at me from all different directions, but still I persevere.

Some days I’m much more motivated and active than others, but I’m still here. Other days I just watch YouTube videos or episodes of “Catfish” on Hulu instead of other more productive things, but I’m still here.

I guess I’m here to say that even if your life isn’t perfect and you have a million things going on and you’re just fed up and not sure what to do or where to go from here, just keep trying. It can be hard and overwhelming as fuck, but know that you have gotten through all of the tough times you’ve encountered so far.

You may be bruised and hurt and slower than you used to be, but you’re still here.

We’re all just out here trying, guys. That’s all any of us can do, even if some people keep up a facade on Instagram or other social media. Can’t we all just agree that no one knows what they’re doing?

I have no idea what I’m going to do with the rest of my life, or even the rest of this month or even the rest of today, honestly. But I’m realizing that I can choose to see that as debilitating or exciting.

Today I’m choosing exciting. I do not have all or any of my shit together, but I’m still here and I’m trying. I hope you do, too.

The post I’m Still Here appeared first on Beyoutiful Beauty.

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Photo by Paula Brustur on Unsplash

When I was younger, my dream was to be a writer for the New York Times or Time Magazine.

Now I’m still living in the area where I grew up, writing and editing for a publication during the day and channeling me feelings and thoughts here by night/on weekends/whenever inspiration strikes.

I can honestly say I never thought I’d be where I am in life right now. And here’s why I’m grateful for that.

I’m glad I didn’t live up to my old potential high dreams. I don’t think I’d be miserable if I had that life right now, but I’m honestly glad I don’t.

So that’s what I had written for this post when I got the idea to write it a few weeks ago, before I was let go from my job. Funny how life works out sometimes, right?

I was thinking about it today, and I genuinely wouldn’t change how anything has happened in my life. None of it.

I used to wish I could just change a “tiny” thing here or there, like not accepting certain jobs or wanting to apply different jobs or other things like that. But if everything in my life hadn’t unfolded exactly as it had, I have no idea what my life would look like now. And I actually really enjoy my life.

Right now I’m job searching after being let go, we’re dealing with my husband’s aunt’s estate after she passed away a few weeks ago and there are other obstacles life has thrown in our way recently. But I wouldn’t change a thing.

We wouldn’t have had some of the conversations we’ve had if we didn’t need to because of outside circumstances. I wouldn’t be on this spiritual and personal development journey if I hadn’t been let go from two jobs. I wouldn’t be writing about self-love, body positivity, grief, life and more if I hadn’t let my blog transform from just being about beauty and makeup, like it was in the beginning. The list goes on.

Regardless of what’s happening on your life, I hope you wouldn’t change anything either. I know life is full of so many twists and turns, and some of them are downright rude and maybe even unnecessary. I totally get and understand that.

But also think about the person you are today versus the person you were before all of these things happened.

We’ve all had to change and grow and adapt to the circumstances around us, especially the negative and tough ones. But it’s how we react to all of that that really shapes us as people.

I would not be as strong, confident and vulnerable as I am today if I hadn’t been bullied and tormented growing up. That’s the honest truth. Even though most circumstances are out of our control and we’d have nothing to do with them if we could, that’s sadly not how life works.

Every single event in our life shapes us and changes us in some way, whether we realize it or not.

And while I honestly have no stinkin’ idea of what the future holds for me, I’m really excited about that. There are endless possibilities out there, waiting for me. And there are for you, too.

The post Why I’m Glad My Life Isn’t Working Out The Way I Thought It Would appeared first on Beyoutiful Beauty.

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I used to say I was a really quiet, shy girl who never wanted to rock the boat and who always wanted to keep the peace among people.

I was just a homebody, a typical Cancer who likes to stay in my shell at home.

I realized I was craving connections but never put myself out there or tried because “that wasn’t who I was.”

The cycle repeated for years, even as I felt the call to do and be more. I silenced it to stay complacent because that was the safer and more comfortable option.

I never liked to mix things up or rock the boat in my own life, so I was stifling myself, my voice and my creativity.

I didn’t realize it for a very long time, but it’s true. I blamed my surroundings and other experiences for why I was unhappy and lonely but never thought to point the finger at myself.

Once I finally, truly, really realized that I was the one holding myself back, everything changed. Not all at once, as many movies make it seek.

I still battle with this about myself weekly, or even daily at times. But now I recognize that behavior and am willing to do something about it and make some changes.

Now I’ve realized, frankly, what an awesome, badass witch bitch I am. I’m unstoppable, creative, confident, funny, goofy and more.

That doesn’t mean I still don’t get insecure or sad or lonely or angry sometimes. That’s just downright unrealistic to think you’ll never feel those things, regardless of where you are in life.

But it’s about realizing that you experience those feelings and emotions but you are not them. You feel them, process them and move on.

If you notice yourself constantly feeling sad or lonely or something else low vibe, ask yourself why. Ask yourself the tough questions. It can be scary as fuck, but you have to do it.

We play a bigger part in our own stories than we realize most of the time. So now I’m more conscious of the way I talk to myself and what I say. I’m not 100% confident every day, and I think that’d be an unrealistic goal for anyone.

But I’ve spent more time getting to know who I really am versus what I keep telling myself I am. And believe me, there was a huge difference.

Think about how you talk to yourself and whatever story you keep repeating. Even if it was true in the past, is it still true now? Face yourself, once and for all, and start to make peace with yourself. Meet yourself where you are in your life right now.

Journaling has been a huge part of my journey, and maybe it’ll work for you, too. Maybe you have a different way you like to express yourself. Figure out the best way to make that happen, and keep at it.

We can all rewrite our stories as many times as we want in life. Don’t be afraid of that or the changes you have and will go through.

This is when life really starts to get multidimensional and amazing.

So who are you, really?

The post Who Are You? appeared first on Beyoutiful Beauty.

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