Tons of people
just dismiss the idea of past lives and I would be really interested to know
your views on that subject?
For many, it’s a term they have heard about but never really given any serious thought to. For others they think it’s ridiculous, that this life is all there is and when this life is over, that’s it, the end!!
happens to be your view (which I doubt if you are interested in my work) I would
recommend that you give it some thought because it could explain some mysteries
in your life.
I have studied past lives and will be doing more as I progress with my work and my own souls journey but regardless, it’s a very very interesting concept don’t you think?
It is my belief that we have lived many lifetimes and that our past lives are very closely connected with our current life.
lives influence how we perceive our current life situations, they create (as
well as our limiting beliefs and programming) the lens we look at life through.
So let’s say
for instance that you lived a life of enslavement, you will most likely to come
into this life not feeling valued or owning your worth. Of course that is not the only explanation
for not feeling valued but could explain a lot.
people, thinking they have lived many past lives may seem a stretch too far,
too weird, but whether you are open to this concept or not, we all have lived
many lives before, it’s part of the souls journey and with each lifetime we endure
the lessons that our soul needs to learn so that we may evolve.
People also carry
their talents into different lifetimes. I
have been told on numerus occasions that I was a healer and I was drowned in a
past life. When I heard this, it totally
explained the fear of water that I have had
my whole life, I didn’t learn to swim until I was 25 and I still have this fear
that I have not properly dealt with. I absolutely
love the ocean but it does scare me.
Do you have
any fears you cannot explain that are still very prevalent in your life? It may be that something happened in a past
life that is still bothering you now in this lifetime.
Clues to past
lives can show up in our dreams as well so it’s always a good idea to keep a
journal or notebook by your bed and write down your dreams as soon as you wake
up, otherwise you won’t remember them later, then you can look at the content
and see what resonates with you and if there are any patterns or clues.
It’s is also
said that we tend to travel in soul groups, and the people you are close to
were close to you in another lifetime. So
perhaps your son could have been your father in a different life or you aunt may
have been your mother.
feel that with your children or grandchildren, that they are far too wise and knowledgeable
for their young years. I certainly feel
that with one of my grandchildren. He’s much too wise for his age!
Take a quick
look at the video below, there is so much evidence out there that past lives
exist. It’s about 14 minutes but really
thought provoking, it’s about a young boy – who from a very early age had such in-depth
knowledge about aeroplanes that his parents could not explain.
Reincarnation - Airplane Boy (abc Primetime) - YouTube
As I said, this
is a topic I will be exploring further and doing more research on so stay tuned
if this interests you.
Please do drop me a quick email, or comment below on the blog, I would love to hear your thoughts on this fascinating subject.
As I said, this
is a topic I will be exploring further and doing more research on so stay tuned
if this interests you.
drop me a quick email, or comment below on the blog, I would love to hear your
thoughts on this fascinating subject.
One of the
biggest drains on our energy and vitality is the toleration of situations and
occurrences in our lives, both big and small.
“Tolerate” is a verb meaning: “Allow the existence,
occurrence, or practice (of something that one does not necessarily like or
agree with) without interference.”
So, what are
you tolerating or putting up with in your life that is draining your
Many of us
tend to tolerate such things as clutter when we’d really like an orderly, clear
space, or items hanging around that need to be fixed, and projects that aren’t
getting completed, both at home and at work.
On a larger
scale, many people put up with jobs that are boring and unfulfilling,
relationships that aren’t mutually beneficial and even health issues. So what is it for you?
is we have all been subjected to negative programming throughout our lives that
we are not even aware of.
We all, to
some degree, have limiting beliefs; and we are totally unaware of how powerful
we really are!
Many of us
have become stuck and can’t seem to move forward no matter how hard we
try! Whether this is in our marriage,
our job or a difficult financial situation.
case may be, we stay there and, put up with it, feeling life has dealt us a
pretty rough hand but we feel powerless to change it because we don’t know that
deep subconscious belief that we have, our brain forms evidence and opinions to
support those beliefs which makes us feel even more helpless to change.
news is that negative and pessimistic thinking is a habit and the human brain is hardwired to be more sensitive to negative
stimuli, so first of all, let yourself off the hook!
According to neuroscience, the
brain is divided into two hemispheres, each specialising in different
tasks. The left brain looks after
logical thinking and language, while the right side is more responsible for
sensory experiences, such as looking at pictures and things that evoke emotion,
a feeling in the body.
Apparently the right side
of the brain develops first, so in general, humans develop a more negative view
of the world from the very beginning!
Most of what we do is
driven by habits, and habits are formed when we repeatedly do (or think)
something over and over. Neuroscience is
now saying that it takes 58 days to form a new habit and so with making a
conscious decision to change your thinking, you can develop a new and much more
positive way of thinking and this will in turn change your view of the world
but you have to commit to doing something, otherwise nothing will change.
quiet time for yourself and ask yourself the following questions and write down
your answers. This will help you get
What do I want?
What is troubling me the most in my
life right now?
What am I pretending not to know?
What actions could I take to make my
What am I willing to say “no more”
When & how will I do that?
If you want
to change your life, you have to change your life – and that means making a
conscious decision to change the way you are doing/thinking now!
first step is believing its possible (and I can promise you it is) and then the
next answer must be “and what am I going to do about it”?
If you do
decide to do this exercise, please send your answers to me as I would love to
know what is really troubling you right now.
I respond to
everyone that writes to me personally.
Someone contacted me yesterday to ask if I could
help them get over their ‘perfectionism’ as they felt it was really holding
It made me think of how I used to be and what a
terrible ‘perfectionist’ I was!
The problem with perfectionism – and the reason
you’ll want to know if you possess any perfectionistic traits, is that perfectionists
actually tend to achieve less and have more stress than people who
are OK with ‘less than perfect’.
The reason is being a perfectionist makes it more
challenging to meet your goals and achieve your desired outcome.
If you consider something is ‘less than perfect’ you’ll
tend not to complete it.
Perfectionists are very critical of themselves and of
other people too as they hold themselves to such a high (impossible to achieve)
standard that no one, including themselves are able to meet their expectations.
Perfectionism is almost always based in fear, fear
of being judged, fear of not measuring up, fear of being seen as a failure or
not good enough, fear of what someone will say about you.
Perfectionists usually get less done and have more
stress and anxiety than others because the truth is you are a human being, you are not perfect, you are not supposed to be perfect!!!
Perfectionists really do fear failure and judgement
and worry terribly about what others think of them.
This (it certainly did in my case) leads to huge
procrastination, which is also based in fear, (and lack of clarity) I was
always changing and never finishing things because they weren’t ‘perfect’. I was always busy, but never achieving what I wanted to achieve.
Perfectionism and Procrastination are close cousins
and because the perfectionist is never happy with their work, they procrastinate
and never get it done.
Perfectionists also tend to have low self-esteem,
this was me for many years, more years than I care to remember. I thought that everything I did just wasn’t
I had wanted to write a book for about 15 years, when
I finally wrote my first book in 2016, I realised how much I had changed, as
even a few years before, the book would never have gotten finished as I would
never have been happy with it and therefor open myself up to criticism!
But, I did get it finished, it wasn’t perfect, and
that’s OK because I realised it was not about me. I wrote that book in the hope that it would
help empower and inspire women to live their best lives and become the very
best version of themselves in the second half of their life!
I got it out there, as I said it’s not perfect (my
next book won’t be either), but it was written from my heart in the hope that
it helps the women who read it and I know that it has, because many of them have
written to tell me, which is wonderful because that was the reason I wrote it!
So the message here ladies is ‘ease up on yourself’
go for excellence instead of perfection.
What someone thinks of you is none of your
business. There will always be people
that love you and people that don’t like you, be OK with that. Just concentrate on being yourself and the people who are meant to be in your life will
be attracted to you!
If you would like a free copy of the abridged
version of the book I wrote, from fear to fabulous, just reply to this message,
put “yes” in the subject line and I will send it to you.
They say (whoever
they are) that knowledge is power, but it is only powerful if you use the
knowledge you have.
So if you recognise
yourself as a perfectionist, DO NOT
beat yourself up, just commit to striving for excellence instead, that way you
will get done what you need to get done and your own self esteem will rise
because you have completed what you set out to do.
As always, have a great week and if you have any
questions or there is anything you think I can help you with, please let me
know and I will do my utmost to help you.
I respond to everyone that takes the trouble to
write to me personally.
The parts of the self that we hide away, that we don’t want to acknowledge. We all have them, and it’s perfectly normal, it’s not a personality disorder or anything like that.
One of the traits of my shadow was – the “Pleaser” and I am very happy to say ‘was’! Many of us have this shadow part. And I know that if you do not deal with it, long term is causes resentment and a loss of true identity. Resentment is such a toxic emotion and causes all sorts of issues and can cause serious illness over time if not dealt with.
If it’s one of yours, I urge you to look at it and start to deal with it right now!
If you think you have this trait ask yourself:
· Do you express your feelings honestly and clearly or do you go along with what your partner or friend or someone else wants and then resent them for it afterwards!
· Do you feel like you are invisible and that no one takes any notice of what you say?
· Do you fly off the handle at your partner or children more often than you would like?
· Do you make arrangements to do things and then make an excuse at the last minute
· Or do you go mumbling to yourself, not really wanting to go but felt you would let people down and that you are being selfish?
Recognise any of those patters? If so you have the “pleaser” trait and it time to let it go!
It stems from fear of loss and fear of judgment. Fear of being judged or fear of not being liked or not being accepted. Fear of losing love etc.
In the tribal days, we had to be accepted. If we weren’t, if we were cast out of the tribe, then we’d die. But that’s not going happen today.
Losing the ‘pleaser trait’ is something that I’m really, really passionate about because as I say, I suffered with it for so many years and I know many, many women do too. It’s so freeing and liberating when you do decide to let it go!
I had a conversation this week with a new client and she was so disconnected from herself, from her wants, needs, desires, from making her own decisions, even down to choosing her friends, just unconsciously going along with what friends want and not stopping to think “do I really want to do this” do I really even want this person in my life
This lovely lady was so very disconnected from herself, from her soul actually but she had never even realized it.
Never taken the time to stop and think about what she really wanted out of life, her life was so “automatic” and unconscious!
So if that is something that you do then please do take a look at it and go about starting to change it. And the way you do that is by really acknowledging first of all that you have that trait and then you start to notice when you are saying yes to things.
Think carefully if you really want to do this thing or not, if not – don’t do it. Honour yourself, put your own needs first, isn’t that’s what the other person is doing after all?
It’s hard at first when it’s something you have always done! Change can be difficult but……………………………….it is sooooooooo worth it!
As soon as you start to honour yourself and put yourself first, you self esteem will start to rise.
When you really want to say no or you’re agreeing to things and then feeling resentful afterwards. And as I said, I do address that in my book From Fear to Fabulous, according to the reviews and feedback I have had it has helped many women so far so please do check it out
if you would like my help in understand truly getting to know yourself and to get back in touch with the amazing woman I know you are inside please drop me a line and request a free 30 minute bust through your mind blocks session with me – I can promise you it will be one of the best 30 minutes you have ever spent.
If you do not Value Yourself – that will be reflected in all of your relationships!
What is “a relationship ready mind” I hear you ask?
To have a successful relationship with anyone – you must first have a successful relationship with the most important person in your life – YOURSELF!!
In my experience of well over 20 years studying metaphysics (which is a the study of ‘being’ of the self), most people do not have a great relationship with themselves – in fact I would go so far as to say they have a very poor relationship with themselves.
Do you know what you want out of life?
What kind of dialogue do you have with yourself?
Do you pay attention to the way you are feeling each day?
Do you speak to yourself with kindness and compassion? Or do you berate yourself and regularly tell yourself “You’re an idiot! You’re stupid! You can’t do that! Who will listen to you, no one is interested in what you have to say! You can’t get that job, you will never get promoted, you are doomed to a miserable life! Or do you blame others – it’s his fault, it’s her fault, it’s my partners fault that I am unhappy, it my parents fault, it’s my bosses fault and on and on it goes!
When we learn to take responsibility for our own lives and everything in it, its takes us out of victim mode and in to a place of empowerment. Think about it, if we give the responsibility of our happiness to someone else, that means that we cannot be happy until they change or do something about it!
For us to have a happy and successful relationship we must take responsibility for ourselves, putting our happiness in the hands of another is too much responsibility for them to take on and it becomes a burden to our partner.
Having a relationship ready mind means taking responsibility for yourself, 100% responsibility for yourself and your life, understanding you first and foremost, communicating effectively and understanding the impact our words and our behaviour have on our partner and the people around us!
Most people in the western world live very “unconscious lives” meaning that the majority of their life is run on autopilot
Neuroscience tells us that we have around 75k thoughts a day and of those 75k the majority are the same every day.
When I ask my clients as the beginning of their journey working with me what they think about all day, most say they haven’t got a clue most of the time and if they do remember its almost always a negative thought.
I think it was Napoleon Hill (author of think and grow rich) who said most people live with an uncontrolled mind and if we do not learn how to control our mind, it will control us!
That is so true; we become victims of our own thoughts and this impacts on every relationship we have.
So how do we develop a “relationship ready mind”?
We first of all we need to become aware of the thoughts we are thinking, awareness is the key to change, you will hear me say that in over and over again because its true!
Once we develop an awareness of something, we then have a choice, we can chose to change that unhelpful habit or we can just stay the same.
And so if something is not serving us, the chances are that we will decide to make a change! Once we begin to notice the thoughts we are thinking and decide to take action and change them, that then changes the way we are feeling which determines the actions we take – or lack of them.
Once we start to become conscious of our thoughts, feelings and actions we start to change who we are BEING and our state of being create our reality!
Having an understanding of this enables us to think more carefully of how our words and behavior is impacting our partner and families, we no longer react on a whim, we develop thinking time and respond differently to situations that would normally cause us to fly of the handle!
This is the very basis of preparing our mind to be “relationship ready” because once we can start to become aware of our thoughts, feelings and actions we can start to change them and we will notice the difference in our relationships very quickly.
Don’t just take my word for it – give it a try today!
If you want to learn more about how to really have a better relationship with yourself and therefore with your other half please check out my pod cast from the Relationship Ready Mind talk Show that I host.
Hope you are enjoying the sunshine we are having here in the UK.
how to stop being a People Pleaser - YouTube
I wanted to do a quick blog as I was being interviewed last night for a blog talk radio show in America and the lady was talking to me about the book that I’ve written which is called From Fear to Fabulous and in that book, one of the sections I talk about is the shadow.
The shadow is the aspects of our self that we tend to not want to acknowledge, that we want to hide away.
And we all have them, and it’s perfectly normal to have those, it’s not a personality disorder or anything like that.
But, one of the aspects that I talk about in the book is the pleaser. And many of us have this shadow part. I know I had it for so many years. Many, many years and I’ve been working on not having it anymore and bringing it into the light.
But I noticed as I was having this conversation with this lady last night, that so many of my clients have had this trait of being a people pleaser and I think it’s very common in women, especially women of a certain age from what I have seen in my own research and from my own experience with the women that I work with.
If that’s something that you have, if that’s one of your traits, then I urge you to look at it and to start changing it because it really doesn’t serve you in any way, shape or form.
All it does is really diminish your own personality. And I know that some of the women I’ve worked with, they don’t even know what sort of things they like.
They lose their identity. And it all really stems from fear; I know I’ve talked about this previously; they fear being judged or fear not being liked or not being accepted, and worst of all – fear rejection.
In tribal days, we had to be accepted. If we weren’t, if we were cast out of the tribe, then we’d die! But that’s not gonna happen today. This is something that I’m really, really passionate about. I am fed up with wonderful women feeling downtrodden and not standing in their own power because as I say, I suffered with this fear for so many years and I know many, many women do too.
So if that is something that you do then please do take a look at it and go about starting to change that pattern. And the way you do that is by really acknowledging first of all that you have that trait and then you start to notice when you are saying yes to things when you really want to say no, or you’re agreeing to things and then feeling resentful afterwards.
I address this in much more detail my book From Fear to Fabulous, http://amzn.to/2nFmOVY
but I have just written a shortened version of the book. It’s a brand new abridged EBook version of that that I’ve recently written that you’re most welcome to.
It’s free, you can have it. It’s available to download now. Just click on the link below. Make yourself a cup of tea and have a read. You will find the information well worth the investment of your time.
What are your emotional wounds? Are you aware of them, do you have any?
Perhaps if you are reading this you are curious and asking yourself those questions.
Well I can tell you for sure that you most certainly do! Its part of being human and taking this journey we call life! Problem is most of them are probably unconscious and so you are not aware of them, but trust me, they are there!!
But what can we do about them, how do we recognise them? Do we want to leave well alone and leave the past in the past?
My advice to you would be we absolutely must uncover our wounds and the hidden parts of ourselves that everyone else can see but we are blind to, so that they can no longer keep repeating in our lives and causing us endless pain and problems.
I believe the answer is to start to live your life in a conscious way.
Living a conscious life means becoming awakened to our true self, our true Essence!
I firmly believe that we all have a purpose, that we are all here on the planet at this time to learn, to grow (in consciousness) and to fulfill the role that we were meant to fulfill in service to our soul. Yes that right we all have a soul, but perhaps you don’t talk to yours very often!
A body of work that I became familiar with a few of years ago confirmed this belief for me, when I heard this analogy it was like a light bulb went on and everything made sense.
I don’t know why I feel compelled to write about this today – as its Good Friday but I am sure that reason will come to me in time!
This work is called The Return to Essence and it was invented by the fabulous psychologist Carl Young.
In brief his theory is that we are born as essence, at a very young age we are wounded, its’ supposed to happen, its part of the individuation process from our parents. It doesn’t have to be something major; it can be something very small but we give meaning to it.
Following our wounding a protector part comes in and forms our personality, our identity and then we grow up thinking that is all we are, but we are so much more than that. That is just a part of who we are and we have many parts (that’s a blog for another day).
At mid life, when we start to evaluate our lives and think more clearly and perhaps for some of us, start to ask profound questions like who am I, why I am here, what am I supposed to do and what’s it all about.
I guess not everyone asks themselves these questions but I certainly did for a long time, I didn’t understand what “finding yourself” meant but now I do, I get it.
It’s at this point in life that many of us start to investigate a different path and have a knowing inside of us that there has to be more to life than this, than what we experience through our 5 senses.
We then start to question and explore other avenues; we find a coach or a teacher or start to read books on spirituality and consciousness. We are all in my opinion, searching for meaning, what does our life mean, at a core level, I believe we all want to know that our lives matter and that we have made a difference.
Once we start on this road, the journey back to essence that Joseph Campbell called the hero’s journey, (I call it the heroine’s journey) things start to change, we become more aware, we really do start to “wake” up!
That is what my work is about, helping people to wake up! And to know that they are so much more then they think they are, they are pure essence and it’s only because of all the baggage that we continue to carry with us year after year, that we can’t see it, but if you start to get quiet, the soul will speak to you but it whispers it doesn’t shout! You must be quiet to hear it.
One of my mentors told me to live on purpose you have to have 3 things
A spiritual practice so that you can hear the deeper wisdom from your higher self and beneath the ego.
To know what is unique and special about you, which is formed by your wounds and your celebrations. What are you gifts? What do you love to do?
And to be in service with your gifts, in whatever capacity that may mean for you, whether it be a wonderful mother or wife, a doctor, a cook, an artist, whatever your purpose is and once you discover it you know for certain that is it! There is no mistaking it. And your life is never the same again!
My greatest wound was to lose my parents as a teenager and to live my younger years feeling afraid, unconfident worthless and hopeless, to then find myself on this path and discover my purpose which is to help other women discover who they are much earlier so they don’t have to spend 30 years going through the pain I went through.
That is my purpose and had I not been through everything I have been through because of my wound, I would not be living my purpose today so at this point in my life I can actually say that on some level I am grateful for my wound.
I would not have consciously chosen it but I see that it was all meant to happen. The pieces of the puzzle are coming together.
If you want to make changes in your life, If you would like some help trying to make sense of your life, and in discovering why you feel the way you are feeling,
Please click on the link below and request a copy of my Ebook Mind Medicine and apply for a free 60 minute uncover your mind blocks discovery session, I have 5 spots available on for the next month.
Please click on the link below to get your free copy of Mind Medicine.