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I'm Laura Agar Wilson.

I'm a Mum, coffee addict and Hygge lover. I help women remember that they are enough.

F I N D  O U T  M O R E > >

CATEGORIES SELF CARE SPIRITUALITY MINDSET LIFESTYLE BUSINESS + BLOGGING RECIPES
AS SEEN IN

One of the things I hear so often in my role as a wellbeing coach is ‘I know what I need to do but I just can’t seem to do it’.

Sound familiar?

Well you’re definitely not alone! Whenever we want to change or improve something in our life that we think will make our lives better, it should be simple right?

Knowing what we need to do should be enough for us to be able to just get on and do it. However it’s never quite that simple!

To create positive change in your life, for example adopting new habits that will make you feel healthier – has two sides. A practical side and a mindset side.

What we think about a situation or a change we’d like to make in our lives is just as important as the action we’re taking to make that happen. Often without the mindset side being right, the action just stalls or never happens at all!

But it’s not just the conscious thoughts that matter, it’s also the thoughts that sit just below the surface, in our subconscious minds too.

A simple tool I use to help me move forward is identifying the negative consequences that the desired change might bring about. Now this might seem counterintuitive – however, whether those thoughts exist on a conscious level or not, if a part of your brain thinks the changes you want to make will create something negative or ‘unsafe’ you better believe your brain will do everything it can to stop it from happening!

Negative Consequences Tool

All you do is write a list whenever a thought pops up. Begin with reminding yourself why you want to change what you want to change and then list the negative consequences. For example if you want to lose weight, some negative consequences might be:

I want to lose weight to:

  • Feel more confident
  • To decrease the pressure on my joints
  • To protect my health for the future

Negative consequences of losing weight:

  • I’ll need to buy a totally new wardrobe
  • I might get unwanted attention
  • I’ll not be able to eat freely ever again
  • I’ll binge again

Then, once you’ve written your list you’ll probably notice some of the things sound a bit daft, but that’s ok and probably means you’re on the right track as your subconscious mind isn’t very logical!

The next step is to go through the list and rationalise it:

Negative consequences of losing weight:

  • I’ll need to buy a totally new wardrobe >>> I don’t want to lose the amount of weight that would require a completely new wardrobe anyway, plus I intend to lose weight slowly and sustainability so I won’t have to replace all of my clothes at once
  • I might get unwanted attention >>> you’re a confident woman who can handle any unwanted advances if they did happen
  • I’ll not be able to eat freely ever again >>> this just isn’t the truth, you know you’ll be able to find a sensible balance
  • I’ll binge >>> you understand why you used to binge eat in the past and you’re confident you can change that old pattern

What you might find in doing this exercise is that some of the negative consequences are actually limiting beliefs – the difference being that a limiting belief is a reason why you don’t feel you can do something and a negative consequence is something that would happen as a result of achieving it.

Identifying limiting beliefs is also a great part of this tool because you’re able to get to another layer of things that might hold you back. Treat a list of limiting beliefs in a similar way, but reply to each limiting belief with the reasons why they aren’t true! You can even flip your limiting beliefs into positive affirmations, for example:

I can’t lose weight without getting obsessed – ‘I can lose weight in a steady, sensible way’

The idea is that you bring those negative consequences and limiting beliefs to the surface so you can deal with them. If you want to get witchy with it you can always burn the list when you’re done!

Of course mindset work does involve a bit more than just this, but the negative consequences tool is a really great place to start!

I’d love to know your thoughts on this! Have you ever done any work on your mindset? What negative consequences have come up for you?

Reminder – my Mindset Makeover Course is opening again soon! This course is packed with practical tools to help you master your mindset.

*I’ve used weight loss as the example here because it’s something many of us can relate to, but in no way am I suggesting weight loss should be a goal in general! This process can be applied to any change you want to make in your life – finding a new job, saving money, getting fit etc*

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The post Master your mindset with this one simple tool appeared first on Wholeheartedly Laura.

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I'm Laura Agar Wilson.

I'm a Mum, coffee addict and Hygge lover. I help women remember that they are enough.

F I N D  O U T  M O R E > >

CATEGORIES SELF CARE SPIRITUALITY MINDSET LIFESTYLE BUSINESS + BLOGGING RECIPES
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Hands up if you’ve ever procrastinated? With 24 hour wifi and access to a tremendous amount of distracting content, is it any wonder so many of us have become master procrastinators?

The problem is, when it comes to getting shit done, procrastination is our enemy. It’s delaying or postponing meaningful action, and when that action is what will improve our well being or grow our business, we need to quit it!

But how to do stop procrastinating? Here’s a few tips for you…

Firstly, remember that you’re cyclical

None of us are robots. We all have periods of heightened productivity and lowered productivity, that’s normal. Before you label lowered productivity as procrastination, check in with yourself and see if it’s actually just a part of your natural cycle.

I’m a big believer in being able to go with the flow, so if one task just feels like pushing shit up a hill, then doing something else productive makes sense as you’ll waste so much time forcing yourself with something that just isn’t working. However if you constantly avoid it, then that is procrastination and you need to dig a bit to figure out why that’s happening.

Learn what your top procrastination activities are

Reflect on how you most tend to spend your time when you’re not working on the things you should be working on. Maybe it’s pointless scrolling the internet, doing the laundry, pinning pretty images to Pinterest. Whatever it might be, once you know what those things are see yourself doing them as a red flag to ask yourself if you’re procrastinating.

A lot of us don’t realise that what we are doing is in fact procrastination, especially when it’s still a productive and valuable thing to work on. I used to procrastinate by designing myself new branding or tweaking my website. Yes, it’s useful work, but when I really ought to have been marketing myself then it’s definitely a form of procrastination!

Figure out if it’s dislike, hard or a limiting belief

Starting to understand why you’re procrastinating is key in reducing it. In my experience it comes down to one (or sometimes all!) of three things.

  • You simply dislike a certain activity. Perhaps it just doesn’t light you up, you find it boring etc
  • You find an activity hard. Maybe you haven’t mastered it or you find it takes ages because you’re still learning
  • You have a limiting belief around an activity and procrastination is a way that your brain is playing out that limiting belief. For example, if you have a limiting belief that you’ll never be successful, your brain might make you procrastinate instead of sending out that press release or getting to grips with Instagram.

With dislike, it’s for you to decide how to handle that activity from now on. Do you outsource it? If it’s something like exercise you could try a different form until you find something you like. If you just need to suck it up and do it, can you factor in a reward afterwards? Like a 30 minute coffee break?

If it’s hard, this might be about recognising you need more education or support around a topic. Or maybe you just need to find an easier way to get the same result. Think outside the box and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Also think of the ‘eat the frog’ technique – do the things that you dislike or find hard first thing in the day so you get them over and done with!

If it’s a limiting belief, sometimes just recognising that is enough to help. I teach in depth mindset work in my Mindset Makeover Course if that’s something you could do with support with!

Figure out what your driver is

If procrastinating is a real problem for you, try deciding on one key ‘driver’ a week. A driver is something that will drive you forward, but you have to make a commitment to getting it done. If you can do it first thing in the week or day that will help make it easier and use less will power. A driver in business might be writing and posting a blog post, in wellbeing it might be doing a healthy grocery shop (I try and do my grocery shop on a Monday morning for this reason!)

Another element of this is connecting to your big ‘why’. Why is doing these things so important to you? Often having a clear why is enough to drive you forward and stop procrastinating. Also remind yourself of the results – what result will you get by pushing through and getting that shit done?

One last thing, sometimes your top procrastination activities are pretty unproductive, but sometimes they are those things that are enjoyable and are productive. These might just be your zone of genius tasks! So if one of your top procrastination activities is kind of productive (just not the thing you ‘should’ be doing) ask yourself if it might be your zone of genius in disguise. That’s why I started designing brands and websites!

I hope those tips have given you something to think about! Do you procrastinate? What are your top procrastination activities?

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The post How to stop procrastinating appeared first on Wholeheartedly Laura.

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I'm Laura Agar Wilson.

I'm a Mum, coffee addict and Hygge lover. I help women remember that they are enough.

F I N D  O U T  M O R E > >

CATEGORIES SELF CARE SPIRITUALITY MINDSET LIFESTYLE BUSINESS + BLOGGING RECIPES
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Knowing what’s actually going on inside your body can be difficult. Without certain tests, it’s easy for elements of our bodies wellbeing to go unnoticed before we really start and feel unwell.

Thriva created their testing service to be an easy way for people to track what’s actually going on inside your body as a preventative health measure. It’s a much better idea to be able to make lifestyle changes before things start and go wrong, and with certain tests you can pick up things before they start negatively impacting your health.

Basically, what they offer is a range of blood tests that you can do at home and send off, which test you on a range of different markers where the results are known for impacting your health.

I was sent the Baseline test which measures cholesterol, liver function, vitamin D, iron and B12. The kit comes in the post and then you register it and create an account with Thriva where your results are saved.

The little box is brilliant, it guides you through the whole process of doing the blood test at home and sending it off. One thing you need to remember with it is that it’s best to do on a week day, first thing before breakfast and on a day when you can post off the sample on the same day.

The lancet that is used to piece your little finger doesn’t hurt that much, and I found that by placing my hands under warm water before piercing my finger helped the blood come out really easily. At first I had worried how I’d fill the little tube but plenty of blood came out thankfully!

Then you package it up and send it off! I was extremely impressed with how quickly your results come back, I think I had mine back within 3 days of posting the sample. You are emailed with a link to your dashboard where you can view the results.

A doctor looks over each of your results and gives you feedback and advice. It was super interesting seeing mine!

Most of my results were within good ranges, my iron levels and vitamin D are right at the lower end of good, so these are two areas I’d like to see an improvement in as I have struggled with low energy lately.

Although my cholesterol came back slightly raised, I’m not really concerned as my cholesterol ratio (the ratio between good cholesterol and bad cholesterol) is ok, however it’s almost borderline so it is something I need to keep an eye on. I will be watching my saturated fat intake especially dairy!

Now of course your Doctor can order blood tests for you in these areas, but since I can’t imagine most Doctors would encourage you rocking up every 3-4 months asking for blood tests, or the fact that you won’t routinely be tested unless something is wrong, I think Thriva is an amazing service.

It’s really made me think about my health and I feel quite empowered and reassured knowing what’s going on in my body.

The baseline test from Thriva is £49 per test (a subscription that sends out a test every three months). Other tests are available which test different markers such as thyroid and diabetes.

You can find out more at Thriva.co.

Would you consider getting a home blood test like this?

*Thriva test gifted in exchange for honest review

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The post Thriva review appeared first on Wholeheartedly Laura.

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I'm Laura Agar Wilson.

I'm a Mum, coffee addict and Hygge lover. I help women remember that they are enough.

F I N D  O U T  M O R E > >

CATEGORIES SELF CARE SPIRITUALITY MINDSET LIFESTYLE BUSINESS + BLOGGING RECIPES
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I know how it starts. You have a passion for something, a passion for helping people, and just as much passion for the idea of working for yourself with all the flexibility and freedom that brings.

That was me 6 years ago when I was weighing up the decision to train as a health coach. I had been blogging for 2 years about health and wellbeing so I had the passion and ideas I just needed to make them into something solid – a business!

Over the last 6 years I’ve learned SO much about running an online business, plus I’m still learning new things every day. It’s an incredible journey to be on, but at the start it can be incredibly overwhelming just trying to figure out how to get started.

For me, it all started when I began my training with the Institute of Integrative Nutrition (IIN). While I still had a lot to learn after the course, it gave me a solid foundation to get started and helped give me direction.

IIN is a great option, but not right for everyone, so I wanted to share a few tips I’ve picked up on my own journey to help you if you’re thinking of starting some kind of online business. I didn’t plan for this to be such an in depth post when I sat down to write it but I really hope it helps!

Decide if you need additional qualifications

Depending on what you’re most passionate about helping people with, have a good think about whether or not you need to seek out additional qualifications and training to enable you to confidently work with people. There’s loads of options, and you’re not restricted to traditional brick and mortar colleges and universities – you can do a number of courses and training online which enables you to train while working full or part time or around your children if needed. Woo hoo to that!

Start creating some kind of online presence – do this now!

One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is putting off getting themselves out there online. Building an audience and community of people who know like and trust you is the bedrock of any online business. The sooner you get that started the better! You don’t need anything to sell right away, in fact I think it’s better to start without that at first, all you need is something you’re passionate about and a willingness to show up with some consistency.

You don’t even need a website, just start with an Instagram account and a Facebook business page and then cross post your Instagram content on to Facebook to save you time creating two lots of content.

Have conversations

One of the reasons it’s super useful to get yourself out there online at the start is that it enables you to have conversations with real people, potential clients and customers, about what they need support with. This can be invaluable research to help shape your programmes and packages while also growing your engagement.

Get serious

At this stage it’s time to get serious and decide on a business legal framework – in the UK you can be a sole trader, partnership, limited company (which is what I am) or even something like a community interest company (CIC) if your work has a charitable or social purpose or aims. You might want to get some legal / professional advice about what the best set up is for you. Then you’ll need to look into informing HMRC that you’re trading (again, seek professional advice around this as it will look differently for different businesses and when you actually start trading). Plus you’ll want to set up a bank account for your business as well. As an online business I’d also recommend you look into setting up some kind of online payment processor like PayPal or Stripe.

Brand + website

Now the funnest part in my opinion – bringing it all to life! It’s totally possible to DIY this stage depending on your level of tech and design skills, but saying that, it can take you an age doing things this way too, plus a crap website can sometimes actually hurt your business and cost you more time and money further down the line. It really depends on your budget and time. I’d start off by thinking about your business message – what are you and your business here to change in the world? Pick 5 words that you’d want someone to feel when they come across you and your business and base your branding on this – create a Pinterest board of images and design references to help you get started.

Don’t skim on photography either, it’s worth getting some nice professional pics of yourself done as they can elevate a crap website to something that looks more professional.

For DIY website options, Squarespace can be a good place to start. I’d personally avoid sites like Wix and Weebly because they can’t grow with your business, especially if you see yourself running courses and programmes some day. WordPress is the best option in my opinion but can be more fiddly tech wise to set up if you aren’t familiar with it.

FYI – I offer affordable business set up coaching, website and branding packages for new coaches where all of the above (apart from the additional training) is done in 3 months. We go through a more detailed process for branding and design and at the end you’re literally ready to rock – check out the details here.

Create something to sell

Now you have a website, a beautiful brand, social media channels and all you need is something to sell! What this is will depend on your passion – but here’s an easy way to get focused. Always remember the problem you are solving for people. You might have one key main problem and some sub problems – but once you have that clear you’ll find everything so much easier. So whatever you sell will be a vehicle that helps people tackle that problem. It might be coaching 1-2-1, an online course, an ebook etc.

Next steps

Here is where I’d recommend most people set up a way to capture people’s email addresses and start building an email list (my fave is ConvertKit, often using some kind of awesome free gift to offer people real value for becoming part of your community. And then emailing that list on the reg.

There’s a bunch more I could write here but this post is already mammoth!

So I’ve covered the steps I’d suggest someone setting up an online business take – and just a reminder that these can all happen concurrently if you have the time and energy to do that, for example you can be working on your brand and having conversations with people on social while also setting up a business bank account.

As I said, I take people through this process in 3 months in my Kickstarter programme, but it can take anywhere from 3 months to 1 year + depending on your own circumstances.

Either way, there’s a considerable amount of work to be done, often in excess of a full time job / kids etc which can make it feel like a real uphill battle, bur fear not, you can do it!

My tips for actually getting shit done would be to try and carve out a regular time slot each week to work on your business. From the start, I’d create a little list of your ‘ticking over tasks’ – the tasks you need to be doing consistently. For example, once you have social media accounts a ticking over task might be posting on those 4 times a week (you can use a scheduler like Planoly to do this in bulk once a week and then just check in as an when).

It can also be helpful to create a plan for yourself of each step you know you need to take to get where you need to go. I used to have a big sheet of paper with tasks written out on post it notes and then each time slot I’d have to work on my business I’d try and tackle at least one of the post it’s. This very old video of super skinny young Laura from 2012 was recorded when I was actually setting up this business. Some bits are out of date but the projects / post it’s thing was so helpful for me at the time!

Finally, a couple of places to check out for additional ideas if you’re getting started – Carrie Green’s book She Means Business is a fabulous one to read to help you out, and I love the blog content on her FEA site as well.

Also my friend Emma Cossey from the Freelance Lifestyle has some great blog posts and resources too. While there’s quite a few differences from freelancing and running an online business there’s also plenty of crossovers so do check out her site!

I do hope that has been helpful, I know it can look like a long list, but hopefully seeing it structured in those steps have helped.

I’d love to know, if you’re considering starting an online business what are you struggling with right now? If you’re already a entrepreneur what have I missed? Would you add anything to my list?

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The post Where to begin when starting an online business appeared first on Wholeheartedly Laura.

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I'm Laura Agar Wilson.

I'm a Mum, coffee addict and Hygge lover. I help women remember that they are enough.

F I N D  O U T  M O R E > >

CATEGORIES SELF CARE SPIRITUALITY MINDSET LIFESTYLE BUSINESS + BLOGGING RECIPES
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#1 I climbed a mountain!

I had the pleasure of attending a hiking retreat with the lovely Paula of Be Happy Be Bright Be You! It was at the Lake District in Great Langdale where we stayed in a Tipi with a wood burning stove to keep us warm.

I went along with my friend Kathryn and we had such a good time! I have to admit, when we saw the size of the mountain we kind of freaked out, neither of us felt especially fit and neither of us have much hiking experience. But it was just so amazing, the climb up was a challenge, and we had to scramble over rocks in places, but the feeling once we got to the top was epic.

I honestly wouldn’t have believed I would have done it, but there I was! At the end we had prosecco at the pub and a meal before heading back to our Tipi’s. The second day we took a shorter walk up to a tarn and paddled our feet in the water. It was really nice having that weekend of being connected to nature and just being able to check out of everyday life.

And now I have a bit of a hiking bug and will be climbing Helvellyn in July!

#2 My wellbeing

I talked about some issues I was having in my last monthly check in and since things have improved a lot. I’ve had lots of testing done (including a test for ovarian cancer which was horrible, but thankfully negative) and my symptoms have improved a lot.

This month I’ve been cutting right back on coffee, sugar, dairy and wheat and in June I’ll be working on giving my body a break from these things then slowly reintroducing them to see how I feel. May was too much of a busy month to try and eliminate things but June is so far looking a bit quieter.

On the movement / exercise front apart from said hike, I haven’t done much while I’ve been having a bit of a flare up. I’d like to start getting back into a routine with it though, so I’m making 4-5pm on work days my movement time before I pick up Finley – anything goes as long as I’m moving!

#3 If it’s not a hell yes then it’s a no

I had a realisation a few weeks ago that I wasn’t spending my time doing as many fun things as perhaps I used to. In June I’m going to challenge myself to say no to whatever things aren’t a hell yes. I noticed myself saying yes to things that weren’t right for me because of fear of lack or worrying that’s I’d upset someone, but once that becomes a habit you find you’re spending more and more of your time keeping everyone else happy and not yourself. So bugger that, hell yes it is!

#4 Holidays

As someone who runs my own business I’m absolutely crap at taking holidays. A part of me thinks that because I only work 4 days a week then that’s enough time out, or because I love what I do then I don’t need to take time off from it. And I’ll be honest, in the beginning that was ok because I had the energy and I loved what I did so it was fine. But now I have less energy to invest into the business stuff (I have a child now!) and I find myself getting a bit burned out if I don’t consciously and deliberately take time off.

Not only is it good for my wellbeing, it’s often when I become most creative and inspired by things I can carry back into my business. James had a week off booked in, but I really didn’t prepare as well as I could have, so did a few hours work. But I really enjoyed the time I was able to step away, we went to the cinema 3 times that week and a trip to the beach, it was glorious!

#5 Peonies

I got my annual peony fix!

I’m really looking forward to June for getting focused on my own self care and getting the new Summer Wholehearted Journal prepped and sent off to the printers! How’s May been for you?

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The post 5 Things May appeared first on Wholeheartedly Laura.

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I'm Laura Agar Wilson.

I'm a Mum, coffee addict and Hygge lover. I help women remember that they are enough.

F I N D  O U T  M O R E > >

CATEGORIES SELF CARE SPIRITUALITY MINDSET LIFESTYLE BUSINESS + BLOGGING RECIPES
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If the idea of posting a video on Instagram Stories or YouTube breaks you out in a cold sweat, this is for you!

Being visible (i.e. marketing) sounds like it should be easy. Post on social media and pop a blog post out every now and again and you’re sorted right? Wrong. Being visible for your business, especially as a coach, is key to growing a successful business.

What I’ve found in my own work is that getting visible is really scary, especially as someone who often tips to the introvert end of the ambivert spectrum! What I’d do was spend a lot of time on the creation side of things – writing blog posts, creating freebies and courses and very little time on the marketing. I was 20/80 when it really needs to be 80/20 in favour of the visibility work!

Last week I ran a visibility challenge in my Wholehearted Business Mastermind Group and I was so proud of all my ladies for putting themselves out there. What we found between us was that video felt especially scary (such as face to camera on Instagram Stories) but everyone of them gave it ago and totally nailed it!

Now being visible doesn’t have to just include video – it can be anything you do to put yourself in front of more people – and most importantly, the right people for your business.

This can absolutely be blogging, however sharing that blog post is what makes blogging most effective.

Here’s a few ways you can become more visible:
  • Share your blog posts on Pinterest, Twitter, Instagram stories and your personal and business Facebook Pages
  • Post regularly on Instagram and Instagram stories
  • Comment on others Instagram posts
  • Post and comment in relevant Facebook Groups in a non spammy way
  • Post in promo threads in relevant Facebook Groups
  • Pitch some guest posts
  • Pitch to be on some podcasts
  • Start your own podcast
  • Go to a local networking event
  • Go to a more central event with good networking opportunities
  • Start a YouTube channel
  • Send out a press release to a local / national / niche publication

There’s many more I could add but I think that’s a good start!

However it’s not so much that there aren’t opportunities to be more visible, what I’ve found in myself and my clients is that it’s us who holds ourselves back and self sabotages. Putting yourself out there, especially as a coach where you are your business, can be really triggering!

What if people don’t like you? What if your mother in law sees you? What if you sound stupid? What if people just think you’re a bit of a wanker?

It’s really worth spending a little bit of time tapping into yourself to see what might be behind your lack of visibility. For me it was the old ‘not good enough’ chestnut.

I still find that I have fits and starts of visibility which is usually linked to my cycle (much more in the mood for it when I’m ovulating!) and I’m ok to go with that. But what really shifted things for me is realising that the only thing different between me and the people I admire in terms of their success is that they just fucking get on with it! They have the balls to go there and sometimes I don’t. That’s ok though, because I am getting better!

Alongside those mindset things that keep us stuck, often a lack of visibility is down to practical things we just need to sort out. I could go days without posting on Instagram because if I have to wait until I’m sat down on an evening to come up with a nice image and write a caption, it aint gonna happen. Since I discovered Planoly, I’m actually way more organised with Instagram.
Likewise for everything else, sometimes a bit of pre planning can go a long way when it comes to your visibility so you’re not sat there waiting come up with an idea worthy of sharing.

I’d love to know what you think of this! How do you feel when it comes to visibility and marketing? Do you find it easier or do you get more resistance?

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The post How to be more visible in your coaching business (and what’s holding you back) appeared first on Wholeheartedly Laura.

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I'm Laura Agar Wilson.

I'm a Mum, coffee addict and Hygge lover. I help women remember that they are enough.

F I N D  O U T  M O R E > >

CATEGORIES SELF CARE SPIRITUALITY MINDSET LIFESTYLE BUSINESS + BLOGGING RECIPES
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When my son Finley was just 1 and a half weeks old we took him into A&E with breathing difficulties and ended up discovering he had a heart defect that needed open heart surgery. The time between finding out and him having his surgery at just 8 weeks old and recovering was the hardest time of my life. There were times I just wanted to check out of my life for a while because it was too much to bear, but in the end we all got through it.

When I think of resilience in personal terms, I think about that experience.

Life will throw all kinds of shit our way, that’s just the nature of being human. But being resilient enough to manage those experiences can have a significant positive impact on our wellbeing.

Apparently (in another Scandi semi untranslatable word like Hygge) Sisu is a Finnish term for determination, grit, bravery, resilience and hardiness. When thinking of the modern world we now have to navigate, I think we could all do with a bit more Sisu!

So what does it mean to be resilient and how can we become more resilient? Funnily enough I used to use this term a lot when I worked in the charity sector, we’d often describe our work with young people as helping them become more emotionally resilient to potential funders.

The actual meaning of resilient is to ‘to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions’ or to be ‘able to recoil or spring back into shape after bending, stretching, or being compressed’ – I mean how awesome is that! I love the idea of being able to bounce back quickly!

But what does all that mean for us if we want to be able to withstand the difficult conditions of life?

Well, here are a few things to think about when it comes to your own resilience and how to bounce back from difficult situations with more ease…

Don’t avoid your feelings, process them

To be brave doesn’t mean you don’t feel afraid – bravery can only show up when fear shows up too. Sometimes it can seem easier to avoid our feelings, to numb them out or try and push them away, but that doesn’t make you more resilient in the short or long term. Processing our emotions about a situation will help you ‘bounce back’ more quickly that brushing them under the carpet. In fact, just practising feeling all your emotions more fully and learning how to deal with them in a healthy way will support you to become more resilient.

Have faith

This was a massive one for me when we were going through Finley’s health issues. I had faith in something bigger than me, that everything was going to be ok. I don’t tend to believe in some kind of benevolent force, more I feel the Universe just ‘is’, but I do believe that things don’t happen to us, they happen for us. That believe was enough to help me through the hardest times.

Whatever faith might look like to you – God, Goddess, Universe – or even just having faith in other people as well as yourself – that will get you through. I had faith in the doctors, nurses and surgeons who took care of Finley and that helped me cope.

Self care

I’ve banged on about self care in many, many posts but I’ll say it again, you just can’t run on an empty tank. Self care is an essential element of being resilient. If you aren’t taking care of yourself you’ll be so less able to withstand the tough parts of life. Practicing self care when the going is good helps create habits that support you through the times that are harder.

Ask for help

It can be very easy to think that being resilient is about doing it all yourself, however asking for help is the best thing you can do. No one exists alone and it takes a village to raise a child. Getting used to asking the right people for help will support your own resilience and quite often theirs too because they’ll feel more comfortable asking you for support in turn.

Know how you tick

This is a biggie – when you know how you tick – what you need and what you don’t need, what works for you and what doesn’t, everything falls into place. When you know how you tick, you’ll know if you need time alone to process or time with others to support. You’ll know if you need to get out of the house or stay home, if you need more time or less time. Knowing how you tick makes it far easier to weather the storm and to bounce back afterwards in a healthy way.

Want to know more about how to figure out how you tick? Check out my 4 part video series covering my Wholehearted Method – 4 steps to becoming your most wholehearted self. Sign up below!

What do you think of resilience? When in your life do you think you’ve displayed resilience? How long does it take for you to bounce back?

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The post Becoming more resilient appeared first on Wholeheartedly Laura.

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I'm Laura Agar Wilson.

I'm a Mum, coffee addict and Hygge lover. I help women remember that they are enough.

F I N D  O U T  M O R E > >

CATEGORIES SELF CARE SPIRITUALITY MINDSET LIFESTYLE BUSINESS + BLOGGING RECIPES
AS SEEN IN

I don’t know about you, but this month seems to have flown over! Thankfully we finally have some sun, it felt more like summer than spring for that week, but now it’s back to more usual spring like weather.

I’ve left this post a bit late, but I guess that makes it an especially good time to reflect on April! As I write this we have the Full Moon in Scorpio which has really kicked my ass to be honest. I’m also on day 28 of my cycle, so you know, fun times…not.

Anyways, I think the good thing about feeling the moon more deeply is being able to release more. I’ve spent most of this morning having a good cry, and it’s just felt like so much stress and tension has lifted. This month at times has been challenging, but as with all challenges I feel like they set you up for something important or useful further down the line.

#1 I got geeky

One of my favourite books this month was reading a Brief History of Time by the late great Stephen Hawking. I’m not going to pretend I understood it all, but what I did understand was mind blowing! Our Universe is one incredible place.

#2 I finally got all my decluttering done

This ones been lingering for a while, I think due to the rubbish weather but the extra sun in April gave me more motivation to get on top of it finally. Instead of the conservatory being a dump, we now have loads of space in there ready for using it for yoga, or a playroom or just a better entrance to the garden than the back door. Having a good declutter has felt so good, I just need to ensure I don’t bring more clutter into the house which is easier said than done with a 3 year old.

#3 I went for my first run in ages

At the start of the month I finally got out and ran! I used to be well into my running but once I’d completed the half marathon after I’d had Finley, I was pretty much done. I do enjoy running shorter distances so my goal this month was to get out at least once. However I haven’t been back out again due to #5 – I was actually wondering if the run could have been the trigger?

#4 I’ve got a new exciting thing in the pipeline!

I’ve been thinking about what I wanted to do next around my wellbeing work. I’ve really enjoyed the Mindset Makeover Course this year (which will soon be available as a self study option) and in talking to lots of women and listening to what everyone’s been saying I have an idea for a long term affordable programme that I’m really excited to share. Watch this space!

#5 My wellbeing

Some of you who have been reading this time last year might have remembered me mentioning some issues I was experiencing with my bladder health. Basically it was like having a UTI but when tested, there was no infection present. It’s been re-occurring for the last two and a half years, but my last flare up was a year ago and unfortunately it’s come back. I had some testing done last year but as it disappeared for so long I didn’t push to get a diagnosis. I am going back to the Docs to ask for a referral and a check up (I do have an idea of a couple of issues it could be due to my symptoms), but I’m hoping this flare up will ease off like the others soon enough.

But what this has reminded me is that my body is not in the happiest of places right now. I’m struggling with some headaches, brain fog and low energy as well as this, and the time has come to do something about it. The first thing I’m going to try are some nutritional shifts like radically reducing coffee (sob), sugar, dairy and gluten for a while and adding in some new foods and supplements. I’ve resisted this for a long time because #nutribollocks and all that, however, all of that rhetoric is totally fucking useless when you’re feeling like shit. I know food can heal and now’s the time to use it in that way. I’ll report back with how I get on!

How has April been for you? What are you looking forward to in May?

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The post 5 Things April appeared first on Wholeheartedly Laura.

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I'm Laura Agar Wilson.

I'm a Mum, coffee addict and Hygge lover. I help women remember that they are enough.

F I N D  O U T  M O R E > >

CATEGORIES SELF CARE SPIRITUALITY MINDSET LIFESTYLE BUSINESS + BLOGGING RECIPES
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Confidence is a funny one isn’t it? Not feeling confident can be one of the biggest things that holds you back from achieving the things you want to – starting or growing a business, applying for a new job, joining a gym even, there’s so many areas of life that confidence comes into play.

Confidence means ‘the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something’ – in this case we’re talking about belief and faith in ourselves, which is easier said than done!

Confidence or lack thereof, was a big problem for me as a child. I was quiet and quite often labeled as shy, generally I didn’t have a lot of self confidence.

Confidence has been one of those things I’ve really had to work at, and I know I’ll probably be working on it for the rest of my life! I have come a long way since my school days and I’d generally say I’m fairly confident now. I can stand in a room full of people and talk – something that believe me would have given me palpitations a few years ago!

But confidence isn’t just the ability to stand in front of people and talk, it’s so much more than that. It’s an inner resilience that knows you can handle what life throws at you, it’s the self believe that you can deal with shit!

So what helped me grow my confidence and what am I doing now to keep on growing it? Here’s a few tips for anyone who feels like need a bit of a confidence boost…

Gently push out your comfort zone

I know this is awful (literally having to make yourself feel uncomfortable!) but pushing out that comfort zone in a kind and measured way will really help you feel more confident. The trick I’ve found with this is to know what you respond to best. If ‘go big or go home’ is your jam then go for it, but I’m guessing if you’re reading this article about confidence that will just feel too much! I like to approach this in a small and steady way, with little out of comfort zone tasks, perhaps one a week. Maybe that’s making a tricky phone call, sending an email to someone you respect, posting on social media, doing your first live chat or first Instagram story with your face on it!

What’s the worst case / best case scenario

Asking myself what the worst case scenario would be if I did something is really helpful to take away the fear. Often the worst thing is that I’ll look like a bit of an idiot! And when you then consider the best case scenario and how much taking a certain action could benefit you, and the chances of the worst case actually happening – you can move forward with a little more confidence.

Look at areas where you already feel confident

Most people will feel more confident in some areas and not in others – ask yourself why you feel more confident there, and not here? What lead to you feeling confident in that area? Can you apply lessons from that situation to the area you feel a lack of confidence?

Keep a brag list

This is a lovely idea I got from my friend Nicola at A Life More Inspired. Keeping a list of all the awesome things you’ve done and achieved, no matter how small they may feel is a great way to grow your inner confidence in your abilities. Make sure you keep checking back and celebrate all those achievements!

Identify your expanders

I came across the concept of expanders in the work of Lacy from Free & Native. Expanders are people who can see you in a way that you can’t see yourself. They know what you’re capable of and show you the way. They invite you to expand yourself and your confidence with it. When I look back over my life I’ve had several expanders who have helped me immensely. My former managers when I worked in the charity and community sector and now my business coach and in real life and online business friends. In the mastermind that I run, I want to take the role as an expander for others.

Fuck it

Sometimes you just have to say fuck it (not fuck it why bother!). This is a bit like the 5 second rule from Mel Robbins – give your brain enough time to engage and it will convince you why you should stay small and safe. When you can just think fuck it and act, then that’s a great way to show yourself what you’re really made of and with that your confidence will grow.

Practice

Overall in my experience what’s really grown my confidence is practice, practice, practice. The first time I had a call with a paying 1-2-1 client I was crapping myself. But now I jump on the phone with people with no anxiety before hand whatsoever – but that took time. Speaking in front of loads of people took time, doing live chats online took time. The more you do something the easier it will become and the more confident you’ll feel.

My Mum friends all say how much more confident they are as a Mum with their second than they were with their first because they’ve had practice and they’ve dealt with all sorts of situations successfully the first time round.

I’d love to know how you feel about confidence – where in life do you feel most confident and the least confident? Can you identify your expanders?

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The post How to cultivate more self confidence appeared first on Wholeheartedly Laura.

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I'm Laura Agar Wilson.

I'm a Mum, coffee addict and Hygge lover. I help women remember that they are enough.

F I N D  O U T  M O R E > >

CATEGORIES SELF CARE SPIRITUALITY MINDSET LIFESTYLE BUSINESS + BLOGGING RECIPES
AS SEEN IN

It feels like a good time for a bit of a life check in (this is a lengthy post so grab a cuppa!) spring has finally begun, as I write this it’s a New Moon and the end of Mercury Rx, and I don’t know about you, but this winter has felt tough. I really tried to take my own advice about getting through January and February, but I didn’t see the bad weather lasting well into April! I don’t think I realised quite how much it was impacting me until we got a few days of good weather and I noticed how much better I felt!

So it’s been ages since I’ve written one of these posts, I think the last time I said that it felt a bit like a switch had flipped and I just wasn’t in vulnerable sharing mode, at least the way I was a couple of years ago, I think being connected with becoming a Mum as well.

Plus I feel pretty lucky that I don’t really have any big issues I’ve needed to get off my chest. I’m in a very contented period of life right now, motherhood has become so much easier now that Finley actually sleeps, my relationship with food and my body is the best it’s ever been and everything is just ticking along nicely – which opens up some other stuff which I’ll mention in a moment!

It’s actually quite weird when I think of just how screwed up I was around food, and even quite recently I had still wanted to lose weight. I found the body positivity scene inspiring and also triggering in equal measure, for such a long time it seemed to highlight something I couldn’t quite own for myself, that total love for my body and complete freedom with food. I feel like this is one of the issues with any kind of labels, even positive ones. They create a pressure (even if that pressure is solely internal) to adhere to something and when you don’t you feel like a failure.

But over the last couple of months I’ve felt a real freedom in how I think about my body, I’m a UK size 14 / 16 and my body seems to be very happy at this size and weight, my periods are really regular and after all the issues I had before I had Finley I take that as such a blessing! I’ve also got a wardrobe full of gorgeous clothes I love that fit me. Another thing that’s been sinking in is just how pointless it is to expend so much energy to try and change my body when it’s inevitable that it will change as I get older.

I just don’t have the energy for it anymore basically, all the fucks have ran out! I do still make some effort to eat well and move, but those have nothing to do with weight and everything to do with feeling good. I notice a massive difference when I’m not exercising often and when I start eating less healthy food too often. But mostly I eat whatever I want and it’s great! That fear of gaining weight has disappeared, the last time I weighed myself I was roughly the same as I had been a year earlier, so that’s been reassuring that things are pretty stable.

With all of that in mind it feels like things have come full circle for me. I started this blog 8 years ago, 1 year after I’d started my weight loss journey and I can’t believe how much I’ve changed. I’ve gone from being obsessed with food and exercise to really understanding that health and happiness is so much more than that.

I’ve learned that me desperately trying to lose weight hasn’t so much linked with wanting to be healthy, it was all about wanting to be accepted and wanting to feel good enough. Losing weight and then letting all of that go has been such an important part of my own journey, it’s helped me realise that there’s so much more to life than weight.

This is where being wholehearted has come from for me, living life to the fullest by being the whole you – something I’m still working on!

One of the reasons things are ticking over so nicely (on the whole, nothing is perfect of course) is because I realised that most of the things which became ‘dramas’ where linked to deeper feelings of not being enough. So being able to notice that and where those things were happening has been SO helpful in ways I don’t think I could have imagined. It’s like peeling off layers of old wallpaper to get to the most authentic me underneath.

And now, as things are generally calm and steady, I have the energy to see more of these areas where I’m doing or not doing things because of a lot of subconscious beliefs (I talk about this a lot in the Mindset Makeover Course!)

For example, Instagram has sometimes felt like a shit show for me because it triggers my old ‘being left out of the cool girls gang’ in school thing – the reality is not that, but my old belief is that I’m not one of the ‘cool girls’ and therefore I perpetuate it because I don’t post often or don’t comment.

Another thing I’ve noticed lately is where I’m staying silent, again this is mostly on social media (hello the perfect place to see all your triggers and limiting beliefs in action!) – especially around some political / social stuff. I did a fucking masters degree in community work about social justice and empowerment and I’m just not speaking my true mind about these things!

One way I’ve looked at it is to see the areas of my life where I feel I’m actually not being wholehearted and to just open myself up to thinking about why that might not be the case.

And again, this is where so many of the changes in how I work and blog here have shifted lately as my passions and interests have shifted quite a bit over the last couple of years.

I’m really interested in how we can care for ourselves better on a really holistic level, how we can deepen our self knowledge and how we can be ourselves more. I love how spiritual practices can be so helpful with that. I’m also really enjoying my own creativity these days, and on the business side of things what’s been great for me is seeing how starting this business and doing this work is an extension of my own self care. I spent years feeling like ‘there had to be more than this’ and creating this job and way to make a living for myself has been like magic! Sharing that part of my journey and helping other women create that for themselves is something I absolutely love. 

Almost everything good that I have now came after I got over my food and weight issues, I wouldn’t go back and change things because that’s how I got here, but blimey I’m so glad I’ve been able to let that go.

And here’s the thing about all this mindset type stuff, it never really ends, there’ll always be more layers of old wallpaper to tear off!

Can you look back over the last few years of your life and see a journey in it? What old layers do you feel you need to tear off?

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The post A life update! Being triggered by body positivity, not being wholehearted and more appeared first on Wholeheartedly Laura.

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