For some lucky people, happiness is something that often seems to come naturally to them, just falling in their lap and creating this lovely blanket of contentment over their entire life. For others, it tends to take a lot more work, self-reflection, and patience. It the latter describes you better and it feels as though you are on a constant quest to find happiness in your life, then you may be happy to hear there are some relatively straightforward steps that you can take that will make a positive impact.
The fact of the matter is that life is indeed short, so spending your time in the most enjoyable way possible, and with the happiest frame of mind, is always preferable. Of course, saying that is a lot easier said than done. Here we’ll take a look at seven things you can be doing right now that can help you to achieve a sense of happiness in your life.
Ensure Your Life is Balanced
A great place to start is to take a look at your life and ask yourself if it is balanced? A well-balanced life means that you are giving the right amount of attention to your job, your family, friends, errands/chores, and your own self. If one is drastically higher than the other, then other aspects of your life begin to suffer.
Imagine if you will that your job gets 75% of your attention and time. That leaves little to no time for all the other equally important things in your life. Creating balance isn’t always easy, and sometimes takes a fair amount of planning and organizing on your part, but it’s well worth it.
Surround Yourself with People You Enjoy and Love
Did you know that the mood of others can rub off on you and alter your own state of happiness? If you have a social circle that is filled with people who aren’t happy in life, spend most of their time complaining, and frankly aren’t very fun to be around, it will rub off on you. The moment you break free of that and start spending time with those who make you laugh and smile, your mood will change.
Set Career Goals and Go for Them
There is also a fair amount of personal satisfaction and happiness tied into your career. Having that dream job can do wonders for your own state of mind, and make you feel as though you’re really making the absolute most out of your life. If you’re currently in a job that doesn’t fulfill or challenge you, where you feel under-appreciated, and that doesn’t give you any sense of joy or happiness, there’s a good chance you’re not in your ideal career. So how can you change that?
It begins with some self-reflection. Think about your own unique skills, experiences, and passion and how can you translate that into a job? From there you can start to look at what kind of educational and/or experience is needed to get that job.
Let’s take a job in healthcare, for example. Let’s say you want to dedicate your time to helping others, so the healthcare field makes sense. Now perhaps you’ve already entered into the field and you’re currently an RN. You may not want to leave the field, but it could be that you don’t feel the kind of job satisfaction you were after.
This is when something such as the online DNP leadership programs through Baylor University makes sense. This is the highest level of nursing, and the program gives you all you’ll need to step into an executive position. Being a nurse leader means you can have a huge impact on the healthcare system as a whole. Once you graduate, you’ll be able to work as a chief nursing executive, chief nursing officer, or a vice president of nursing just to name a few. It will offer you a greater challenge, and the salary will increase dramatically.
You Can Only Control Your Path – Not the Path of Others
Another mistake people can make, which can lead to frustration and stress, is taking on the issues of others. The thing is the only person you are responsible for and have any control over is yourself. You can push yourself as much and as hard as you want, but you can’t do that with others. They need to follow their own path.
Be Willing to Change When Necessary
Life is never a stagnant thing. Even if you are perfectly content in where you’re at, unfortunately, you can’t stop the clock. Time marches on and with that, life changes. Rather than fight change and make yourself sick over trying to keep things the same, it’s best to show flexibility in life. You need to be willing to make changes when necessary and go with the flow.
Start Giving Back
With so much going on in your own life, and the busy fast pace that things seem to speed along at, a person can start to feel disconnected from others and their community. One way you can change this is to start giving back. This could mean that you get involved in a local charity that is close to your heart, if you own a company you can sponsor a local youth sports team, you can volunteer at non-profit organizations, and offer up your time and services in any other way that seems fit.
Celebrate the Good in Life
Finally, you want to be sure you are taking the time to celebrate and embrace the good in life. Sometimes it can be hard to find positives, and it takes a bit more effort on your part, but by focusing on the good rather than the negative, you’ll remain in a much better frame of mind.
Happiness is Yours for the Taking
So if you’re feeling a bit down at the moment, and it feels like happiness keeps passing you by, you may want to try these tips and techniques. Remember, happiness is yours for the taking.
Hey! This week I’ve been a bit depressed, but I’m really looking forward to today and the next few days because I’m going to be tapping into magic in a big way! First of all, today is the Scorpio Full Moon – big mood. And on Saturday and Sunday I will be at Karmafest, which is the most magical event I’ve ever attended. I’ve never had anything less than a spectacular, kismet experience at any of their events, and this time I’m so honored and thrilled that I actually get to be teaching a class on crystals on Sunday! (I’ll be doing one in the Kids Korner at 1 and then a regular class at 4:45, both on Sunday.) If you haven’t been, a day pass is only $20 and both days is $30, and it’s seriously the biggest bang for your buck for free classes, etc. that I can tell you about. I come back from these events feeling so energized (and exhausted at the same time, but in a good way!) and inspired, it’s insane! I hope if you’re local, you’ll consider coming by.
Starting to decorate for summer! (I couldn’t wait)
How much my dad loves pinwheels
Celebrating Hummus Day
Rainbow store displays
Silly behind the scenes outtakes
Photos with Maura
Rainbow cups filled with homemade lemonade
[Extra Sparkle] * Meeting up with April at The Bun Shop to go over tips for using Instagram for business * Flowered shorts * Listening to John Mulaney’s first album * Napping in the day * Anthony Jeselnik’s new stand up * How many pictures of dogs Joe and I send each other * DM’s from other people asking if I’m a burner * Seeing artists we know at RemFest * Ekiben sandwich for lunch * Confronting a cop about an issue that was important to me and getting really into it with him (post to come) * Staying up till 5 AM with my best friend talking about everything and having an exhausted partner fully willing to support our loud antics (and when we kept offering him things to make him more comfortable like coffee, a bed to sleep in, and an Uber home, and he declined, we offered him silly things like a banana from the counter, the googly eyes or sticker book from my purse, and each of our boobs in either hand — and he said, “Let me see the googly eyes and sticker book”) * Neighborhood ducks going on antics (and completely disregarding laws) * Redoing a bunch of Radical Rituals Abundance tapping sessions * A really fun photoshoot with Maura * Someone offering to pay the balance I overdrew from the Teachable fiasco * Someone sending Joe a free phone * Janice’s gifts in the mail * Great reactions to my post on Tourette’s Syndrome * Joe making me props while I slept * Speaking my truth and providing perspective wherever I can (bonus points when people are receptive to it!) * Seeing people use the internet for kindness (sending a dog rescue food who was out) * Donations for the Bubble Parade * Wearing a chicken hat all day for Chicken Dance Day and all the reactions I got (my favorite was just a woman who started clucking at me) * Twinkle lights on my nightstand * Reviews of my Awesome Plan surprise packages
Upcoming Unusual Holidays
16 – Piercing Day
16 – Love A Tree Day
16 – Wear Purple For Peace Day
17 – Bike To Work Day
17 – Pizza Party Day
18 – I Love Reeses Day
18 – Museum Day
18 – No Dirty Dishes Day
19 – Take Your Parents To The Playground Day
19 – Plant A Vegetable Garden Day
20 – Rescue Dog Day
20 – Pick Strawberries Day
21 – Wait Staff Day
Jimmy Fallon and Paul Rudd Recreate "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)" Music Video - YouTube
Coming off your bike is a scary thought, right? What with the amount of big, fast vehicles you and your motorcycle share the road with, in this day and age, however, this is always a possibility. No matter how safe of a rider you might be, all it takes is one distracted or dangerous driver to knock you down.
If you are ever stricken with this kind of plight, it’s important that, for the sake of both your health and your finances, you take the right kind of action immediately following the incident. One wrong move and you could face deadly repercussions well into the future.
Here’s what you need to do when you come off your bike:
Move to a safe position
As soon as your head is clear and you can make rational decisions, you have to move away from the scene of the accident and into a safe position. Forget your bike for the time being, and even forget protecting your finances going forward as well. The most important thing at this time is to ensure that you are out of harm’s way.
Call the emergency services
Whether you’re injured or not, you need to call the police as the report that they compile about your accident can be used as evidence when you come to claim for compensation. When the police arrive, be sure to co-operate with them as best as you can. The police will understand that you are in a high-pressure situation, but they will not stand for you venting your anger towards them.
Take down the officer’s name and collar number and make sure to ask for details pertaining to the case — this will help you to stay in the loop as your investigation moves forward. You should also be sure to call the police if you feel that the other party involved in your accident is providing you with fake contact details.
If you feel it necessary to do so, you should also call an ambulance. You should take this action if you feel that you may be in shock, in pain or dizzy and lightheaded.
Get yourself checked over
Even if you deem your injuries to be significantly minor, it’s still advisable that you get yourself checked over by a medical professional. If nothing else, the medical report that they compile about you can be used in the claiming process that you embark on.
You deserve compensation for your ordeal, especially if you were forced to miss work because of it, so it’s essential that you start your claiming process as soon as possible. In this instance, it is essential that you find a way to partner up with an motorcycle accident attorney. This kind of lawyer will have the exact skills, knowledge, and toolset you need to be able to win your case and earn the full amount of compensation that you deserve.
When you come off your bike, it is paramount that you put all of the advice laid out above into practice to ensure you can look after yourself financially and physically.
Your wardrobe can help to represent your personality, share your tastes and interests, and, most importantly, make you feel good. Then, it is important to make sure that your wardrobe is as special as it can be, and full of clothing items that you love. If you need ideas as to how to make your wardrobe extra special, this article compiles some of the best tips on how to find the more glamorous pieces and ensure that you are looking dazzling whatever the occasion.
It is not only the style, design, and look of a piece of clothing that can make you feel good, but the fabric too. Investing in luxury fabrics can help you to add a touch of glamour to your wardrobe while making sure that you feel comfortable at all times.
Luxury fabrics are often of a better quality than other mass-produced fabrics, which means that they last for longer. Not only this, but luxury fabrics can help your clothing to fit you better than lower quality fabrics, ensuring that they are able to flatter you whatever your physique. Luxury fabrics include materials such as taffeta, satins and silks, velvets and cashmere. Although taffeta and silks are an excellent option for an evening out, cashmere is the best fabric for casual wear as it retains its quality while being extremely comfortable. Companies such as Statecashmere.com provide you with a range of cashmere clothing to choose between, including form-flattering and on-trend pieces to complement your existing wardrobe.
You can also make your wardrobe extra special by ensuring that it is individual to you. A good way to do this is through clothing customization, which allows you to add quirks to your outfits that make them stand out from the crowd. From adding badges and pins to crafts such as dying and embroidering, there are many ways to customize your existing wardrobe to ensure that your clothing is different from that of the high street. Not only will this allow you to have clothes that are individual to you, but customization through items such as badges can also be great conversation starters by allowing you to share your interests and passions with the rest of the world.
Vintage and Homemade Clothing
If you want to find one-off pieces that you won’t see anyone else wearing, you can make your wardrobe stand out from the crowd through investing in vintage or homemade clothing. Vintage clothing stores are one of the best places to find vintage clothing and are often home to bold and vivid prints, as well as unusual and retro styles that you are sure to fall in love with. What’s more, if there is a lack of vintage or homemade clothing stores near you, the internet is full of vintage finds, from stores on websites such as ASOS Marketplace and Etsy to high street chains.
Everyone wants their wardrobe to be special, and for them to feel confident in and excited by their clothing choices. From beautiful fabrics to vintage stores, there is no shortage of options when it comes to finding clothing you love, and that can make your wardrobe feel special – whatever the occasion.
Did you know May 15th is Straw Hat Day? Straw hats go well back to the middle ages and can be made out of many different materials including raffia, hemp, and sea grass (as well as basic like– wheat straw!). The idea was originally to prevent people from getting too hot and then getting sick, and we still use them for that purpose around the world, but they’ve also become something we wear as a fashion accessory, like a scarf or earrings. Not for purpose, just for aesthetic! I bet hundreds of years ago people wouldn’t have bet on that!
Something I love about unusual holidays is not only that we get to bust out things we may have forgotten about or don’t remember to make time for, but we can actually learn things as well! For example, did you know that in the country of Lesotho (a small country in southern Africa), they make a very specific kind of straw hat called the Mokorotlo? It’s even their national symbol and the image on their license plates.
I’ve loved the relatively recent trend of the embroidery stitching of words onto the brim of floppy straw hats. I wore mine to the wonderful gem in Baltimore, Sherwood Gardens. I didn’t go early enough to see the tulips, but there’s always something gorgeous blooming in spring time!
1. Upgrade your straw hat with a fun DIY (turn it into a donut, add sequin lettering, patches…)
2. Use the hats as decorations in your home
3. Make a scarecrow and top him off with a straw hat
4. Send a gift basket, where the basket is actually a straw hat
5. Get yourself a matching straw bag (and deck it out with pom poms!)
6. Take yourself to the beach, pool, or on a picnic, the ideal straw hat lounging situations
7. Turn your straw hat into a pendant light with this DIY project
8. Use the hat as the base to make a fun wreath for your door
9. Get all dressed up and have a photoshoot in your straw hat
10. Buy a new one
May 14th is Chicken Dance Day, and I think it’s a fun one to celebrate. In 2014, I put on my chicken nose and walked around downtown Baltimore with the song blasting on my phone, dancing up and down the stairs by the convention center, through crosswalks, and behind strangers. In 2015, Cristen and I went to the park near my house and went to do the dance on the merry-go-round, and while we were dancing two teenage girls came over and joined in! So cool, right? Spread the fun! You can check out the video below!
Last year I got dressed up and did the dance in Patterson Park while Maura documented the moment. This year, I’m running on no sleep and plan on doing the dance as much as possible to keep myself awake while we have one of our monthly photoshoots in the studio.
But don’t worry. If things get really rough, there IS a chicken mask and a fluffy vest in the studio we can wear. I don’t wanna be a chicken, I don’t wanna be a duck, so kiss my butt, na na na na.
[Edit] In case you didn’t catch it on my Instagram Stories:
If you suspect that an elderly friend or loved one is being abused, you should report. Read on to learn how to report elder abuse.
More than 47 million people in the U.S. are considered elderly. Heartbreaking statistics show as many as ten percent of them have experienced some form of abuse or neglect. If you suspect that an elderly friend or relative is being abused, you need to report it. This article will take a closer look at the issue and explain how to report elder abuse.
Who Is Considered Elderly?
In terms of chronological age, anyone 65 and older is considered elderly. However, when discussing elder abuse, it’s important to focus less on a person’s age in years and more on what’s referred to as their “functional age”.
A person’s functional age refers to how well they can care for themselves both physically and mentally. For example, an 80-year-old man in great health is at far less risk for elder abuse than a 60-year-old man with cognitive problems like dementia. In this case, the 60-year-old man might be considered “elderly” when abuse is suspected.
What Is Elder Abuse?
The National Center on Elder Abuse defines elder abuse as “any knowing, intentional, or negligent act by a caregiver or any other person that causes harm or a serious risk of harm to a vulnerable adult”. You’ll notice the definition does not include a specific age.
A vulnerable adult could mean someone under the age of 65 who is significantly impaired by disease, injury or a loss of cognitive functioning.
Types of Elder Abuse
Elder abuse falls into one or more of the following categories:
Emotional or Psychological Abuse
Financial or Material Exploitation
Physical abuse can include things like hitting, pushing, shaking, slapping, kicking, pinching, and burning. It also includes some things you might not have considered like force-feeding or the inappropriate use of medications.
Sexual abuse includes rape, sodomy, nudity and sexually explicit photographing. It also includes any sexual activity with someone who isn’t capable of consenting. A woman with dementia, for example, may not be mentally aware enough to agree to sexual activity.
Emotional/Psychological abuse happens when an elderly and/or vulnerable adult is injured in non-physical ways. Some examples might include insults, threats, humiliation and intimidation. It can also include treating the elderly person like an infant or isolating him from family members.
Neglect occurs when a caregiver doesn’t provide the elderly person with food, water, medication and/or emotional care.
Abandonment can include physically leaving the elderly person somewhere alone like at a shopping mall or restaurant. It can also include abandoning them at a nursing facility without making appropriate arrangements in the caregiver’s absence.
Financial abuse can take on a number of forms. It might include stealing money by forging the elderly person’s signature on checks or loan documents. The abuser might convince the person in their care to sign over property when the person is confused or heavily medicated. It might simply be withdrawing cash from the person’s bank account without permission.
Self-neglect isn’t always something we might consider elder abuse, but it is. It happens when an elderly person is capable of caring for themselves, but chooses not to. He might refuse to take medication, food or water or deliberately ignore his personal hygiene. It’s just as important to report self-neglect as other types of abuse, because it is equally harmful to the elderly person.
Who Has to Report Elderly Abuse?
In most states, certain groups of people have what’s referred to a “mandatory duty to report”. Typically, these are people whose job it is to protect us, like police officers, firefighters and social workers. They are required to report any suspected abuse.
Other groups of people may or may not be legally required to report elder abuse but certainly have an ethical duty to do so. They could include family members who care for an elderly relative, a neighbor, a church member or a store employee. Every state has different requirements. You can check your state’s information here.
How to Report Elder Abuse
There several ways to report elder abuse.
Call 9-1-1 if you witness abuse and/or believe someone is in immediate danger.
Contact Adult Protective Services (APS) and report your suspicions. APS is a national social services program serving older adults and adults. APS investigates cases of abuse, neglect or exploitation.
Contact a Long Term Care Ombudsman if you suspect an elderly person is being abused or neglected in a nursing home or assisted living facility.
In many cases, you can file a report anonymously. Some people worry about the consequences of reporting abuse, so it’s important to know that your privacy and security will be protected.
You’ll typically be asked to provide information like the names and relationships of everyone involved, along with the age and condition of the person you suspect is being abused or neglected. It’s important to let the investigating agency know if the elderly person has mental or physical disabilities.
You’ll also want to give as much specific information about the abuse as you can. Try to provide dates and times, and let them know if there are other witnesses.
If you’re reporting financial abuse or exploitation, you’ll want to share any documents you have. These could include emails, letters, powers of attorney, wills or trusts. In this case, it may be helpful for you to retain an elder abuse attorney to help you understand your legal options.
Unfortunately, the majority of elderly people are abused by someone they know, often a caregiver. If you’re caring for an elderly friend or relative, know that there are things you can do to reduce the stress involved.
Ask for help from friends and relatives or find an adult daycare program. Every caregiver needs a break, even for a couple of hours.
Look for ways to reduce your stress levels. Support groups can be very helpful, because they give you a safe place to share your feelings with others going through the many of the same things.
Take care of yourself. It’s next to impossible to provide care for someone if you aren’t getting proper nutrition or sleep.
It’s important to know how to spot the signs of elder abuse. The physical signs are easier to spot than emotional or financial. Any obvious injuries like bruises should be reported. You should also take note if your loved one’s property has been damaged. It might be something as small as their glasses or jewelry.
Signs of financial abuse might include unexplained or unexpected withdrawals from your loved one’s bank account, changes to their will or a transfer of assets to someone you don’t know.
This has been a busy week! I hosted a New Moon In Taurus gathering for my friends, I watched the annual Kinetic Sculpture Race, I went to a Flower Mart and saw a dog parade, I recorded a video interview on play and embracing your inner child for a mastermind series, I cleaned, redid my altar, and a bunch more! Check out more details and pictures from the awesomeness below.
Here’s what I’ve been into lately…
Pictures from last week:
Mary’s Go Round Kinetic Sculpture
Wives Of Uranus Kinetic Sculpture
Famous Fifi Poodle Kinetic Sculpture
Writing out my Top Ten Things about April
Taurus New Moon Altar
Earthing with my New Moon Babes
Dog Parade costumes
Dog parade costumes for the Flower Mart
Becoming one with the tree
Beautiful flowers for sale
Redoing my altar for the season
My dad leaving me sidewalk chalk notes
More sidewalk chalk fun down the street from me
Even more sidewalk chalk…
13 month old giant pup named Burley
Karma Connection’s mailbox
[Extra Sparkle] * Being able to give my friends gifts * People bringing helpful things to moon gatherings * Drawing the Empress during a Taurus New Moon/Beltane time * Really good lemonade the Joe made (and will continue to make till forever) * Twinkle lights everywhere * Imagining where I want to be in three years with a visualization exercise * Finding out a Kiwi is not just a fruit * Maeng Da Kratom energy * Waking up feeling refreshed and compassionate instead of anxious and angry * My recent longer talks with Sarah, which I’ve missed * Listening to the love mix Joe made me on Spotify * Bringing in the second fan into the bedroom because I’m pampered * Cleaning my altar and desk spaces with Florida water and reorganizing/cleaning everything * Joe helping me out so much with everything and making me red and green flower crowns * Walking barefoot around the park, meeting new dog friends * Drinking out of a rainbow cup that feels very ‘on brand’ * So many membership cards going out to new Uncustomary Babes * Seeing Maura plant the flower I gave her * Texting with Janice * Prepping summer decorations * Finding out my sofa is a pull out couch so people can stay over
Upcoming Unusual Holidays
8 – No Socks Day
8 – Iris Day
8 – Outdoor Intercourse Day
9 – Sleepover Day
9 – Lost Sock Memorial Day
10 – Public Gardens Day
11 – Eat What You Want Day
11 – Miniature Golf Day
11 – Belly Dance Day
12 – Limerick Day
13 – Hummus Day
14 – Chicken Dance Day
There’s a scene in this year’s Captain Marvel film where Brie Larson’s character, Carol Danvers, asks for help when it comes to designing her superhero suit. It’s a cute scene, but one that speaks to an important part of self-care: finding your own personal style can make you feel like you can take on the world… or entire galaxies, even.
These days, many bemoan the rise of Instagram and other social media as a damaging tool to women’s self-esteem, but on the plus side — pun not intended — it’s also given a voice to those who want to advocate a different and more inclusive set of beauty standards. Body positivity has become a high priority for consumers and businesses alike, with figures like Ashley Graham and Lizzo showing us that style is truly available at every size.
Understand the importance of personal style
Lots of psychological studies have reported the impact that clothing can have on the way we think, interact, and are perceived by others. One such phenomenon discussed in an earlier Uncustomary blog post is enclothed cognition, which explains why the simple act of dressing professionally can actually make you feel more professional, and thus more productive.
Find your style inspiration
This list of curvy fashion influencers and models on Cosmoplitan is one way to start finding stylish and creative women who can inspire you to be yourself in a world that can sometimes be very toxic for bigger women. The best part? The bloggers featured on the list represent a whole bunch of different ethnicities and body types. Not every body, plus-sized or not, looks the same, and that’s where the beauty of personal style comes in. There’s only one person with the same exact body that you have, so why not flaunt it?
Don’t be afraid to experiment
The only way to find out what works best for you is to step out of your comfort zone every once in a while. The array of dresses on Woman Within shows just a sample of how many inclusive styles, cuts, and colors there are for women today, with sizes ranging from 12 up to 44. With lots of fashion brands designing clothes to fit fuller-sized women, it’s the perfect time to take advantage of the offerings at hand and find your next style. And who knows you might just learn something new about yourself and what works well with your body in the process.
Get yourself measured
Despite fashion brands bumping up their size ranges, there’s still no unified standard as to what counts as a small, medium, and so on. Knowing your measurements (and remembering that they’re just numbers!) can help you navigate the tricky problem that comes with vanity sizing and differing size standards. Remember to get yourself measured fairly regularly too, since your measurements might change over time — but that doesn’t mean you should stop being stylish!
Look for brands that you want to support
In the same way that you have your favorite t-shirt and jean combo, finding your personal style might be easier when you find brands that you enjoy wearing. Influencer and blogger favorite Fat Mermaids is known for its comfy sweaters and shirts that have quirky, body-positive messages on them, reminding you that you can have your cake and look good eating it, too. Whatever your style is, be it quirky tees or simple basics, doing the necessary ground work to find your brand BFF can help you build your look much easier.
Whether it’s dressing for a job or dressing just for you, looking put together in a way that makes you happy is one important way to take care of yourself. Dressing up is an opportunity for you to get acquainted with your body, a way for you to show it some love and give back for all that it’s done for you. Always remember to put a focus on what makes you feel good, and the rest of the styling tips will follow naturally.
No Diet Day is May 6th, and I’m a thousand percent on board. Choo choo! Here’s the deal, everywhere we look we see advertisements for things related to losing weight or changing our body shape. I feel like 10% of people on Instagram are selling those body wraps (props to whoever is running that pyramid scheme– but only on their business mind, not their product). It’s not just the diet pills that turn our metabolisms into speed, wraps that will morph your skin into something that seems thinner, and constant images of airbrushed thin women on magazines– it’s how we talk to our friends and ourselves.
There is nothing wrong with being thin. The problem is thinking we’re worth less if we’re not already thin. Being thin might be something natural to you or something you have worked hard at through exercise and eating healthy foods. Being thin might be something you’ve never experienced. There’s nothing wrong with any of these scenarios, but what is wrong is when we think we aren’t going to ever be happy until we’re thin. Don’t ever say, “She’d be pretty if she lost weight” or think it about yourself. Don’t judge a friend or stranger based on their size.
Body acceptance is just one aspect of self love, but its journey is very similar to self love. You can want to improve a part of yourself (or a part of your body) while simultaneously accepting and loving who you are right now.
I know it seems like a fat person telling you that you shouldn’t diet seems like I just want you to join Party Lazy. But just because I (or anyone) is fat doesn’t mean they’re lazy the same way a thin person doesn’t automatically have disordered eating. What I am telling you is you can be underweight or overweight and still be happy. Happiness is a thing we create, and it is independent of your size or BMI. I was underweight and miserable. Not because I was underweight, but because my mental illness and self hatred were out of control. Now I’m overweight and happy. Not because I’m overweight (or in denial about it), but because I’ve worked hard on building up my self esteem and coping skills.
Dieting is bullshit because it’s a fad. It’s something we do to lose weight fast. Maybe it’s for a wedding, to fit into a dress, to have a “beach body”. Or maybe we tell ourselves it’s for our own happiness. Let me tell you something: weighing less isn’t going to make you happier, and putting yourself in a state of constant hunger is going to make you miserable on the way to the destination you think you’re going to.
Eating healthily is awesome. It fills you with nutrition, energizes you, balances your mood, and makes sleeping easier. You’re not depriving yourself of calories, you’re not always hungry. There is a HUGE difference between eating healthy and dieting.
If you want to start eating healthy because you think it will make you feel better, go for it! Just never deprive yourself of the food you need. One of my favorite quotes from 30 Rock was Jenna’s character about a diet she was currently on: “I’m on this new Japanese Paper Diet. I can only eat paper, but I can have all the paper I want!” It’s so hilarious because that’s really how all diets are. Cut out all of this one thing we know we need? Eat only one thing? Never having any carbohydrates or only eating bananas is bad for you.
You are beautiful as you are. Celebrate your body as it carries you throughout life, don’t punish it.
Oh, and to celebrate I also made a video of me jumping up and down outside topless with googly eyes on my boobs. You’re welcome.