Loading...

Follow SingleMothers.us on Feedspot

Continue with Google
Continue with Facebook
or

Valid

About a month ago, I took my son to see the movie, Mr. Peabody & Sherman, the latest flick about the 1950s cartoon dog who is the smartest being in the world. In this movie, Mr. Peabody adopted an orphaned infant boy and named him Sherman.

Due to several hazardous choices by Sherman when he first begins attending school, Mr. Peabody found himself traveling back in time to mend fences with notable historical figures – King Tut, Leonardo DaVinci and Marie Antoinette, to name a few – in order to keep history, well, history.

While I do not have a time travel machine to take care of the oops! we make in our lives, there is one tool in my toolbox that wherever I go in my life with Liam I try to keep on hand all the time.

Laughter.

I must!  And we did a lot of it during the movie.

Laughter is a proven scientific method of reducing stress, too. Preventive care specialists at various universities in the United States have been studying the human body’s response to laughter. Studies show that laughing frequently optimizes many of the functions various body systems … much like exercise. These same studies show that laughing enhances mood, decreases stress hormones and enhances immune activity.

For a single mother who juggles herself, her children and her work, plus all the other demands in her day, it is an amazing free commodity to cling to. It’s also something her children, when the catch it from her, will remember how they feel around their mother and create good memories for them.

Think about it. Comedians talk about the silliness of society and mock it regularly. Audiences laugh. I bet you’re remembering a moment right now about a comedian who made you slap your thigh when you laughed out loud.

The life of a single mother is serious enough. It’s heavy. Why not inject or focus on the comedic moments in your day?

Laugh with your children

My son has gotten used to the fact that sometimes after I sweep or mop floors, I put on Pharrell William’s “Happy” song and video on YouTube and start dancing in the dining room. When I first started doing this, I was uncertain how to interpret his reaction. His facial expressions ranged anywhere from shock to amusement, and then he began to bust his own move. He’s a great dancer, by the way, so we had a ball.

I want the memories of him knowing his mom can laugh and does so to be etched on his heart.

Laugh at yourself

As a recovering perfectionist, I am embracing the fact that not only do I make mistakes but I give myself grace from making them. A sweet friend of mine reminded me a long time ago that kindness goes very far.

Can you be as kind to yourself as you are to others? Can you laugh at your humanness with grace as you your best friend?

Laugh at single motherhood

Good grief – when did life get so … intense?

So, about seven years ago my son and I lived in Charleston, South Carolina for a few years before moving back home to South Florida. While there, Liam decided to stuff a roll of toilet paper down the toilet and flush it. The water seeped out of the toilet bowl, onto the bathroom tile, onto the hallway rug and through the second floor down onto the first floor. My baby grand piano sat perfectly below the trickle of water that came from the ceiling. The water drops hit the piano keys and a little music began to play.

It was at this point that my son came downstairs with only his Spiderman light-up t-shirt on, jumping up and down screaming. Every time he jumped, the t-shirt lit up and the music from the piano from the falling water drops played almost in synch with the t-shirt light show.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Upon reflection, I think I did both.

I realize that this can happen to any parent … yet for single mothers, I believe it is a good thing to remember to find the humor in the situation as much as possible. Cliché notwithstanding, life is short.

Giggle!

The post The Most Important Ingredient in a Single Mother’s Day appeared first on SingleMothers.us.

  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

Being a single mom is not always peaches and cream, sunny days and birds singing.  As easy as some of us may make it look, there are times when we all we want is someone to help us share the load of being a parent, whether it be emotional or financial.  We simply just don’t want to do it alone.

When you are a single parent, it is you and only you…at all times.  When you are sick and only want to lay in bed or sleep the day away, it’s not going to happen because there is often times than not, anyone there to allow you to get well while they watch the kids.  It can even be as simple as taking a shower when you have a new baby and you are a single mom.  All we want sometimes is a moment…it doesn’t even have to be an hour…just a moment.

One day, I had the worse stomach ache and nothing in the house to take for it.  I was talking to a friend on the phone, moaning and complaining about my stomach, when they suggested that I go to the store and pick something up.  My response was, “I would have to wake up TJ for that and drag him with me.

NOT!!”  It was after 9 pm and TJ was sleeping and had school in the morning.  My friend responded, “Oh Yeah. I forgot.”  Um mm yeah, idiot!  I wanted to say out of pain but mostly frustration.  I was frustrated because it is times like this that I wish I had a significant other, who could get up and run to the store for me or who could stay at home, while I ran to the store.

Let’s just be honest, sometimes being a single parent SUCKS.  For instance, this morning, I felt absolutely awful.  I barely went to bed at 3 in the morning, after going back and forth between having chills, then being hot as hell.  Topped off by a super runny nose and then I started wheezing.  At 6:15, the alarm goes off, and I felt like hell runneth over!

Lord, knows that I didn’t want to get up, throw some clothes on and get TJ up to start getting ready for school.  Not only didn’t I want to get up, I surly didn’t want to have to drive him to school.  It is days like this, I wish there was someone to say, “Stay in bed, honey.  I will take care of everything this morning.”

As a single parent, you are always “ON!”  There are no off days.  There are no breaks.  It is you and only you, 24/7.  I don’t have the luxury of weekends and/or holidays off.  I am barely where I can enjoy a bubble bath without someone banging on the door (notice I said barely because it still happens sometimes).  The only time that I get a break is if my mom or sister takes my son when I have something to do or would like some “adult” time with my friends.  Thank God for them, although I don’t call on them very often.

When school is in, I get a break while he is in school. I can have a little quiet time to go to the store alone, take a nap during the day, get a mani or pedi without TJ asking how long is it going to take, etc.  However, when school is out for the summer, things can be very hectic.

Being a single mom is hard work.  It is even harder when you don’t have the privilege of joint custody or an ex who will take the kids even when it is not “their time.”  What we crave is just someone to be our helpmate, our right hand, who is willing to share in the responsibility of being a parent and not just a “part-time parent.”  We need help and sometimes we just need a break.  I applaud women who are able to yell for “Help” when things become a little cray and maybe sometimes when it isn’t very crazy but you just want to get away.

For all of you married moms out there that “complain” about how hard you have it, although you have help…take a walk in a single moms shoes for a week.  I bet you will appreciate the help that you have and how good you have it.

Photo Credit:  fanandfru.com

The post Let’s Be Honest. Being A Single Mom Sucks Sometimes! appeared first on SingleMothers.us.

  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

 Parenthood is surely one of the toughest responsibilities that anyone can face. Being a parent is totally rewarding but it is never easy – and you can just imagine how harder it can actually get for a single mother. Solo parenting is even more demanding, hectic and also stressful for most single moms. However, once you are already in this particular situation, you will have no choice but to be brave and accept the responsibility with everything that you got.

It may be hard at first, or well, who says it is ever easy? But then again, there are still a lot of single mother tips and tricks that you can try to make the most out of your current situation. Whether you are a widow, divorced or a single mother by choice, you can still make this journey enjoyable and successful.

1.) Connecting with your kids

Now that you are a single mother, you will also need to handle a lot of decisions and tasks all by yourself. One of the roles that you need to assert immediately would be as the head of the household. When it comes to your children’s behavior, you will be typically called for it, whether good or bad. You do not want to get overwhelmed with everything that needs to settled, especially how your kids will turn out to be in the future. The best way is to start early and to connect with your kids in as much ways as you can. A strong family routine would be a great help, especially if you can all stick to it. A good example would be setting a curfew time each night or to allocate household chores to everyone in the family.

Make time to help your kids with their homework so you will also have the time and opportunity to get to know them better. You will learn more about their strengths and weaknesses and even their personalities as you get to spend more time with them. A family time will also be better, when you can simply bond and have a great time catching up.

2.) Stop feeling guilty

At one point or another, you will find yourself feeling guilty about everything that has happened, especially if you can see that your kids are negatively affected. The least that you can do for yourself is to stop feeling guilty or embarrassed. You also do not need to feel obliged to spoil your kids just because you think you are not enough for them. Make them understand everything and tell them that while it is not really easy for the most parts, you can still have a happy family together even when you are the only parent left.

3.) Don’t forget to take care of yourself

Yes, you are the sole provider now but that does not necessarily mean that you will stop taking care of yourself. This includes different physical activities that you used to enjoy, as well as getting enough rest and sleep. Keep in mind that since you are now on your own, the more that you have to take care of your health and mental state so that you will always be healthy and stable enough to be there for your family. It also helps a lot to plan or arrange some time that you can spend for yourself, such as going to the spa or getting a full body massage. This will not only allow you to recharge but at the same time lets you value yourself and your wellbeing.

4.) Never be afraid to ask for help

Sure, you are a single mother but that does not mean that you are a superwoman. There would still be times when you will feel alone and depressed and even tired, and in times like these, you do not have to be scared or embarrassed to ask for help. Take note that there are still people around you who would be more than willing to lend a helping hand when you needed it the most. It may also help to join a support group for single mothers like you so you can meet new people with the same situation as yours. This way you will have more people to talk to when you need it.

Don’t forget that you still have your friends and other relatives to help you get through this. These people will be your source of strength, aside of course from your kids.

5.) Staying positive

There is nothing wrong with feeling tired or depressed, but then again, don’t let that feeling get the best of you. Remember that you have to keep going for the sake of your kids. As a single mother, you have to always look at the brighter side. Stay away from negative thoughts as those will only bring you down.

The post 5 Single Mother Tips and Tricks that You Need to Know appeared first on SingleMothers.us.

  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

 Being a single parent is probably one of the hardest responsibilities that you may encounter as an adult. In almost all aspects, there needs to be changes, adjustments and even obstacles. This remains the same whenever you would plan for a travel or vacation for you and your kids. While you ultimately like for your kids to have fun and enjoy the whole trip, you should not forget that you also need to satisfy yourself and be relaxed. Since traveling is now among the most growing industries, different vacation options are available and you can fairly well choose one that would suit your needs and preferences.

For special occasions

Holidays and special occasions are always a good reason for you and your little family to go out of town or even out of the country. Long weekends usually happen and that would be a great opportunity to bond and take some time off away from work, stress and worries. The winter season is one of the most popular times of the year when people would take a vacation and go elsewhere. Just so you know, it is not at all impossible for you to plan the best single mom winter getaways as long as you keep these tips and things in mind.

Choosing a destination

The most important question to ask yourself is – where will you be going? Since winter is just about starting, you might want to consider picking a place that has warmer climate. This way, you know that you and your kids will enjoy doing outdoor activities, knowing that you will not be worried about the weather being too cold or freezing.
If you live in the US and you do not want to travel out of the country, there are still a lot of places that you can opt for when it comes to winter getaways. Honolulu in Hawaii, for example, is an all-time favorite whether it is winter or not. You can easily find resorts and hotels in the area that can cater to specific needs and requirements. Even when you are a single mom with kids, you do not have to worry about finding a place to stay that is comfortable and enjoyable at the same time. Another popular place to visit would be the state of Arizona where you and your children can spend the day shopping or just lounging around various attractions and amenities. However, remember that Phoenix is not at all very famous for nightlife sceneries, which means that it is ideal for best single mom winter getaways that only involve daytime fun and sleeping early at night. Other locations to consider would be Las Vegas, Miami, Denver, Los Angeles, San Francisco and Nashville or Memphis Tennessee.

Involving the kids with the planning

If your kids are no longer toddlers, it might be better to ask them first and know if they have any ideas or suggestions in mind. They will surely appreciate it if you can discuss with them some details such as your options, hotel accommodations and even the activities that you are planning for the family. This makes them feel involved and important, so they won’t be left out and feel indifferent about the whole idea.

Things to do and places to visit

Once you have already reached your destination, the fun then begins. It is best to find or think of activities that you can do together as a family, regardless of age or gender. As the mother, you surely already know what will interest your kids and how they will be able to enjoy the trip. You can wander around the city or the area where you are staying, perhaps go and check out local stores or gift shops. It is also a good idea to try different restaurants and delicacies. If your kids want to, you can find a local park or a playground where they can roam freely and play. If the kids are interested, might also want to plan museum visits or learn more about the local architecture and geography of the place. Not only will you have some time to bond but at the same time, the kids will surely learn a lot from it.

Other things to remember

If in case you are traveling outside of the country, remember to always be prepared and alert when it comes to safety and security. Be sure to never let your kids be out of your sight especially if it’s a place that they have never visited before. You must also not forget that you will need to secure proper documentation before you can bring your kids abroad. Child protection laws require a single parent to still have the permission from the other parent when going out of the country. For divorced single moms, a notarized letter from your ex should be helpful enough for you to easily pass borders. In case your spouse is already dead, a copy of the death certificate should suffice.

The post Tips When Planning Out the Best Single Mom Winter Getaways appeared first on SingleMothers.us.

  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

Being a single mom is not always peaches and cream, sunny days and birds singing.  As easy as some of us may make it look, there are times when we all we want is someone to help us share the load of being a parent, whether it be emotional or financial.  We simply just don’t want to do it alone.

When you are a single parent, it is you and only you…at all times.  When you are sick and only want to lay in bed or sleep the day away, it’s not going to happen because, there is often times than not, anyone there to allow you to get well while they watch the kids.  It can even be as simple as taking a shower when you have a new baby and you are a single mom.  All we want sometimes is a moment…it doesn’t even have to be an hour…just a moment.

One day, I had the worse stomach ache and nothing in the house to take for it.  I was talking to a friend on the phone, moaning and complaining about my stomach, when they suggested that I go to the store and pick something up.  My response was, “I would have to wake up TJ for that and drag him with me.

NOT!!”  It was after 9 pm and TJ was sleeping and had school in the morning.  My friend responded, “Oh Yeah. I forgot.”  Um mm yeah, idiot!  I wanted to say out of pain but mostly frustration.  I was frustrated because it is times like this that I wish I had a significant other, who could get up and run to the store for me or who could stay at home, while I ran to the store.

Let’s just be honest, sometimes being a single parent SUCKS.  For instance, this morning, I felt absolutely awful.  I barely went to bed at 3 in the morning, after going back and forth between having chills, then being hot as hell.  Topped off by a super runny nose and then I started wheezing.  At 6:15, the alarm goes off, and I felt like hell runneth over!

Lord, knows that I didn’t want to get up, throw some clothes on and get TJ up to start getting ready for school.  Not only didn’t I want to get up, I surly didn’t want to have to drive him to school.  It is days like this, I wish there was someone to say, “Stay in bed, honey.  I will take care of everything this morning.”

As a single parent, you are always “ON!”  There are no off days.  There are no breaks.  It is you and only you, 24/7.  I don’t have the luxury of weekends and/or holidays off.  I am barely where I can enjoy a bubble bath without someone banging on the door (notice I said barely because it still happens sometimes).  The only time that I get a break is if my mom or sister takes my son when I have something to do or would like some “adult” time with my friends.  Thank God for them, although I don’t call on them very often.

When school is in, I get a break while he is in school. I can have a little quiet time to go to the store alone, take a nap during the day, get a mani or pedi without TJ asking how long is it going to take, etc.  However, when school is out for the summer, things can be very hectic.

Being a single mom, is hard work.  It is even harder when you don’t have the privilege of joint custody or an ex who will take the kids even when it is not “their time.”  What we crave is just someone to be our help mate, our right hand, who is willing to share in the responsibility of being a parent and not just a “part-time parent.”  We need help and sometimes we just need a break.  I applaud women who are able to yell for “Help” when things become a little cray and maybe sometimes, when it isn’t very crazy but you just want to get away.

For all of you married moms out there that “complain” about how hard you have it, although you have help…take a walk in a single moms shoes for a week.  I bet you will appreciate the help that you have and how good you have it.

Photo Credit:  fanandfru.com

  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

Separate tags by commas
To access this feature, please upgrade your account.
Start your free month
Free Preview