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Since moving back to Scandiland I’ve been so surprised by how many women my age are having ‘beauty enhancements’ done. It’s everything from botox in the forehead, to breast implants and added volume in the lips. I don’t judge this – if it makes you happier then be my guest – and I can’t even say that I will never shy to these means myself at some point. However, this trend makes me sad and has me wondering why we do it as well as how we can start promoting and embracing natural beauty more.

Why do we opt for external beauty boosts?

A thing I’ve been thinking about for years is the fact that we women are never really naked together anymore. Before, there were more communities when it came to sport that had us going into changing rooms together and showering after we’d exercised. That way we kept getting reminders of what the natural female body looks like.  But maybe it’s not even that. Maybe it’s not what what we’re not seeing, but instead what we are seeing that’s creating the shift. Here I’m talking about the fact that we keep seeing picture perfect ladies in magazines and on instagram and so then we have ‘things done’ ourselves because we believe this is what we should look like. Then we turn up to see our friends and suddenly we’re promoting this kind of beauty rather than the natural kind. Because humans are a pack animal and a way to connect and belong is to ensure that we all look similar this has a ripple effect.

My experience

I love travelling, I hate being cold and I love the sun. Naturally I’ve been sunbathing a lot throughout my life. In my teenage years I’d even use sunbeds and keep my tan all year round – and now I’ve turned 30 and I’m starting to see the effect: I have little lines around my eyes, the marks in my forehead are becoming deeper and my boobs aren’t as pointy as they once was. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t freaking me out a little.

My weight has always been pretty stable, however at different times over the years I have let myself go a little and maybe had a bit more curviness to me before it naturally regulated itself back to my usual size. My add-on always distributes itself nicely and the effect is a little bit funny to me. When I’m in this shape I usually think of it as being in my ‘Marilyn body’. Marilyn Monroe is the sexiest women to have ever lived and she was in no way a size 2. But her size totally didn’t matter anyway because she had this energy that radiated feminism and sex appeal. When I’m more curvy it’s so much easier for me to tap into this exact energy – but is that because I feel like I need to be compensating? On the other hand, when I’m not as voluptuous I may not feel into this energy the same way, but I tend to feel better and less subconscious in my body…  

“Yes, I’m having botox done – and you could use it too …no offence”. These words came to me from a dear friend of mine sometime last year. Now, I love her, I’m pretty confident and I can hold space for this – but when did it become okay for us women to speak to each other like this? I know this young woman only had my best interest at heart but the underline of this sentence is ‘you’re not pretty enough as you are’ …or at the very least it says ‘you could be prettier’.

Promoting and Embracing natural beauty

So now I’m in this position where I’m thinking about it all. For years I’ve been nurturing my body from the inside out; I eat good food, I prioritise sleep, I exercise, do yoga and practice mindfulness, but you can’t combat the effects of age… So what’s the alternative to botox? I feel that it’s owning yourself and I believe the way to promote natural beauty is through conscious sisterhoods. But how do you own yourself?

Self love is such a used word these days, but I do feel that this is the key to owning yourself nonetheless. Today I really and truly appreciate myself for who I am – and I’m so grateful for my body and all it supports me doing. No one gets to diminish my worth before my inner lioness has shown up and roared away the attempt. (This is different to not being able to take criticism by the way. There’s a way to take on feedback and criticism without letting it lower your self worth. The key is to distinguish between ‘I did something bad’ or I am bad’, which you can learn more about from Brene Brown’s book Daring greatly.) Although I may tremble at times if someone rejects or takes a swing at me – this inner lioness is always there. She comes from this deep soul knowing that I am a wonderful human, completely loved and completely worthy no matter what someone might say – including my own mind. My soul knows just how much magic I hold and the loving effect I have on the beings around me. It is also well aware of how pure my heart is and how my intentions are always good.

But I didn’t get to this knowing all on my own. I’ve worked with myself on a deep level through mentors, healers and spiritual quests. And equally important; I’ve been so blessed to be part of beautiful sisterhoods that will always reflect my light right back to me if my inner inner lioness is a little late to show up and I’m in need of support.

The practice of owning yourself

I practice self love in the way I show up for myself; in the boundaries I set, in the compassion I show myself if I screw up, in the way I speak to myself and in the people I choose to have in my life. And this last thing about carefully selecting my humans is key – because I can’t do this on my own. The bigger the amount of love I have for myself, the less need I have from support from my sisters, but I could never do without it completely. We dip in and out of growth phases and processing and when I’m all out of energy and my inner lioness is reaaaally slow I need to be held by fellow women. Women I trust that I can call out for to hold space for me, speak to me with kindness and remind me of my own magnificence when I forget. And I need my processing tools too such as my journal and crystals and beautiful music to calm and nurture myself. This might not work for you, but something will. It’s all about exploring till you find it.

But how does this relate to natural beauty? It does, because I feel that natural beauty comes from within. Not just in the sense that what we feed ourselves physically will change what we look like, but also in the sense that I believe how we nurture our soul has an impact on how we accept and appreciate ourselves – which impacts how we think of ourselves. Inner beauty comes from soul nurture, which according to me is about being you – unapologetically. It’s about honoring yourself by speaking your truth and daring to be vulnerable and tell people how you truly feel – like you’re sticking up for yourself as you would your little sister you love so dearly.

Summing it up

So in a nutshell, I feel that the way we can start promoting and embracing natural beauty more is by owning who we are and by lifting one another up. When we feel we are enough in ourselves maybe the need for artificial changes will go away? And by reflecting each other’s light back when there’s a need for support and sister nurture we can help enforce this feeling of enoughness – for ourselves and amongst each other. Maybe you have some thoughts on this? Leave a comment below or send me an email – I’d love to hear from you.

Sending lots of

Mai, Scandinavian Earthchild xxx

The post Natural beauty – women without botox? appeared first on Scandinavian EarthChild.

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There are many things in life we don’t get a say in. We get a certain body, we are born into a specific family, we arrive on this planet in a certain country and the list for this keeps going. When we grow up though, we get a chance to change some of these things, and lately I’ve made some pretty big life decisions. This naturally brings some challenges into my space and the last week has been one of the most intense ones in my life, which had me thinking about choice. Facing triggers and traumas is humbling. But it also reminded me that we get to choose who we are and how authentic we want to be every single day when we select how to respond to anything that comes our way. So how do you show up for yourself in the most empowering way?

Owning your gift or your curse

I am turning into one of those weirdos who will come up to you for no particular reason, open my arms and give you a hug out of the blue or take your hand and say all kinds of things that I don’t really understand before I speak them. It’s like I’m a vessel – I feel what you need and I know what to do to deliver that thing via my heart. It doesn’t always make sense to me, but somehow it fits with what you need. I’ve started to breathe in a new way, I listen to a different kind of music, I’ve begun to reconnect with my most romantic vulnerable side (that I still slightly hate) and the world of energy is now no longer foreign to me. I understand how to tap into the universal energy, I know how to cleanse my energy and the space I can hold for myself and others – in pure compassion with no judgement – is ever expanding. I. Feel. So. Weird. And there’s nothing I can do about it because my gifts are my gifts and my calling is my calling. I either dare to be weird and show up to do my work – or I can turn my back on my gifts.

About 8 years ago I ran away from Denmark. Before that I’d run away as fast as I possible could away from my hometown as it felt felt claustrophobic and really painful to me all through my upbringing. Now I’m back to face demons, old skeletons and confront old limiting beliefs that no longer serve me. This is the journey of a truth seeker and someone who can’t live in a world of pretend or out of alignment. Does it hurt? Big time. Do I wish I was ‘normal’ …only several times a day. Do I have a choice? Not the slightest – so the only way forward is growth.

When triggers occur

Last week I went to London to see clients. London is home – I have a life there – and it’s where I feel safe. I may not always like the place, but I love it for the feeling of freedom and anonymity it brings me. Denmark is foreign, I have friends here but I don’t have a life yet, and it feels like everywhere I step there are land mines triggering me. Mostly what’s excruciating is the feeling that the place is cramped and that I am not free. As a free spirit you kind of wonder if you are going to dye staying.. And so this month mercury is in retrograde and the full moon was full on as I returned from my London trip to my hometown. Whooa choka boo Aouch! I don’t recall having ever been so triggered in my life. For 7 days straight I’ve been shivering with confusion, anxiety and also rage brought out by the fact that I’m back. In all honesty I feel like the last 7 days has been like being on a bad trip; You’re exhausted, nothing makes sense, you just want it to stop, but you can’t because it’s in your body – and you can’t run from your body. So all you’re left with is observing, breathing through it and waiting it out.

For someone, who is extra sensitive but usually calm and balanced, with a great deal of space for herself and the world, this is a big thing to take in. And so I did the only thing I could think of: I kidnapped my parent’s dog and retreated to one of my favorite little islands in the world with nothing but the sea, incense sticks, clean food and lots of water to help me out. Oh and I called on my angel friend, Joanne, that performs biomagnatism and who could then tell me where my triggers came from; She explained why I couldn’t be anywhere near my mother without feeling like I was going to explode and how the feeling of being in my 16 year old body was totally spot on. Joanne helped me release and detox all of these pathogens and emotions, but it’s taken until today for me to begin feeling lighter again. I’ve gone for walks, I’ve moved my body on my yoga mat, I’ve scribbled through my diary. I’ve meditated, I’ve connected with my sisterhood and I’ve held my heart + cried a little. I don’t believe these transition pains are over, but I do know that they’re here to help me grow. I’ve been given opportunities to go to Dubai in April, Turkey in May and Indonesia in June, but I choose to stay in this stupid little country that’s kicking my ass at the minute. Why? Because this is where my growth opportunities lies and if I can end up feeling free in Denmark, I can be free anywhere.

Your life, your choice

So why this post? My point about this whole things is that we don’t always choose our gifts, how sensitive we are, how we become triggered or the traumas we carry from being children or even from our lineage – but we do choose how we respond to them. There’s no shame in being angry or overwhelmed, feeling sad, vulnerable or whatever – these emotions are simply looking for a way to be released. So maybe next time you begin to shy away from something uncomfortable or start judging yourself; try surrendering instead. Shut off your head and feel. Own who you are and the emotions that are running through you – ask for help or space or whatever you need and then support yourself. You can do hard things, you can choose to have difficult conversations, you can stay in a place that feels uncomfortable. The key to growth and setting yourself free of any trauma lies in choosing to go into them rather than pretending or shying away. When we surrender and dare to step into the uncomfortable – nothing can hold us back.

I hope you’ve had a more peaceful full moon experience than me this month. As always I’m sending you so much

Mai, Scandinavian Earthchild x  

    

Ps. To help release traumas and heal various expressions of this, check out my friend Joanne. Biomagnatism is for all humans, who has emotional or physiological challenges. It has helped me shed so much trauma (from my lineage) so that I now feel tremendously lighter. It also works magic if you are trying to conceive a baby. Check out more about it in one of her testimonials.

The post Healing – choosing to set yourself free appeared first on Scandinavian EarthChild.

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Finding love can be tricky. Although we see in many movies how humans randomly bump into one another and fall madly in love with little to no effort; life is oftentimes a little more complicated than that. So you meet someone nice online or maybe at work or through friends, you REALLY like the guy but then what? In reality, you still need to get to know the guy, charm him, seem interesting, not desperate at all – yet all the while your mind is fast-forwarding to a few years into the future where you may or may not be wearing a certain white dress. In this little piece I want to address how we can hold on to ourselves and be authentic rather than playing a game when we’re getting to know someone new.

Be you

So, when we start dating someone new oftentimes we will have a friend that says; don’t play any games, just be you. To this I have to say what a terrible piece advice – on it’s own at least. You like a guy. What that oftentimes does to a female brain is close to insanity when we’re honest. Men and women are very different in the way we’re steered by our emotions so if you’re not all that aware of this fact, and your friend tells you to “just be you” – chances are you’ll let yourself go COMPLETELY and scare him away.

When a female likes a male it can be hard for us to think of anything else. We will literally dream up a scenario of the perfect man in the shape of our new male acquaintance and project all of our most favourite qualities onto him. The level of his perfectness and the fact that we’ve now finally met HIM then makes it hard to focus on pretty much anything else. He pops up in your mind at work, in the gym, when you’re with friends – basically every 10 minutes – so why hold back? Why not go all in, raise those levels of expectation and push to spend as much time together as possible – because we’ve already wasted SO much time and we still have SO much to do together!

The thing in this scenario though, is that we don’t know this man at all yet – so if we just ‘be ourselves’ and act based on our emotions we may not be acting as who we truly are.  Step one therefore is to acknowledge that when we like a guy we tend to go a little crazy, which endangers us to act in a way that isn’t really us. Knowing this, we can then practice feeling all the feelings, yet acting only based on what the man shows us he is, rather than what we wish for him to be. This way, we’re acting way more as who we truly are – just without the craziness of zaa zaa zu.

Playing it cool

Maybe you’ve been in the situation above one too many times and now it’ time to play it safe. No more looking like a fool or getting disappointed for you – so now you start playing it cool. When he texts you, you reply in a way that’s a bit indifferent, when you’re on a date you act less impressed with what he says and generally you just don’t show that much emotion. It’s not that he isn’t funny, impressive or attractive; It’s just that the heart can’t be trusted so it’s better to wait until he has proven to you that he likes you before you start to open up. Sounds familiar? This situation is tricky because here we risk getting dumped for being ‘boring’ or ‘plain’ or we risk getting dropped just as we start to open up because the guy was more interested in ‘ the chase’ than he was in you. This is a crappy situation too. Therefore my advice is; don’t play it cool – change your mind-set instead.

Dating is a vulnerable concept / word if you ask me – so I tend to change it. Instead of dating; I’m meeting and getting to know interesting people. For me, this takes the point of playing games out of the equation completely. Because when you’re not thinking about dating as dating; It’s not about getting someone to like you. Instead, it’s about meeting someone you’d genuinely like to spend more time with – and for this to happen we need to show up as who we are. There’s no point in faking who we are if you’re simply looking for somebody to enjoy spending time with. Who wants to be someone they’re not every time a friend comes over? That would exhausting so it makes a lot more sense to show who we are and be with someone that appreciates it. And whenever we meet someone who thinks we laugh too loud, are too clumsy, feel too much, speak too much, isn’t attractive enough – it’s easy to let them go. Because this person will not make us feel comfortable around them so why would we want to spend more time with them? Playing it cool is a waste of time if you ask me and simply drags out the process of finding out if the match is right.

Own yourself

A goddess / high value woman doesn’t chase, fix, change or desperately need a man. She won’t stoop to a level beneath her standards – if a male doesn’t fit the bill – she will simply move on with her life. It’s not about being judgemental, angry or having expectations when we’re getting to know someone – it’s simply about knowing your worth and making decisions that support that worth.

When I’m seeing someone he can show up as much or as little as he wants to. He can like as many or little of my social media posts as he wants, call or text me as much or as little as he wants to – there literally are no expectations from me. What there is though, is me observing how he wants to show up for me. The guy decides what kind of man he wants to be for me and it’s my job to decide whether or not that is right for me. How he shows up has nothing to do with me anyway – it’s about who he is and who he chooses to be as a man.

The same applies to me by the way.  I don’t have to be someone I’m not – in reality I can’t anyway – it’s not sustainable. Just like a man chooses who he wants to be and how he wants to show up in a relation to me – I get to choose how I invest in our romance. Do I want to show up as ‘miss crazy’ that dreams up a man and over-invest prematurely? Do I want to play it cool and pretend I’m not interested? Or do I choose to simply be me? Do I choose to own the fact that I like him if that’s the case and will I dare let him know? Do I choose to speak up if something feels off to me? Do I hold space or do I set up rules and expectations?

My experience is that the more I can own who I am and how I feel – without judging it – the more I can stop playing any games. Can I be in the uncomfortable phase of uncertainty and vulnerability, which exists in the interim between meeting and getting to know someone – without reacting senselessly in fear, but rather choosing to act from a point of self worth? This is the practice – and it is when we become good at being in this space that we can stop playing any dating games <3

I hope you’ve had a beautiful weekend.

Sending

Mai, Scandinavian Earthchild x

The post Taking ‘the game’ out of dating appeared first on Scandinavian EarthChild.

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I used to ask myself this question all the time. I find that when we’ve been single for a few years it tends to come up. Maybe you even feel like you’re only getting further and further away from finding and attracting your man? Or it may seem like there are no great men left because you never meet any? This is a classic situation to be in. There can be many reasons for this, but oftentimes when we’ve been single for a long time we end up with a mind-set telling us how comfortable we are being on our own – and how for us to let someone in to our life he needs be near perfect. True, any man we choose to invite into our lives needs to be a wonderful being who adds value. However, sometimes the issue isn’t the fact that there are no great men – sometimes our attitude and our vibe are the things we need to shift around a little to run into Mr. right. Here are a few of my suggestions.

Honesty

Maybe you’ve been single for a few years and now you’re staring to lose hope a little so the concept of meeting someone feels so foreign to you that you might sometimes wonder; How do I even get a boyfriend – where do I start. I suggest you start by leaning in to you. The first thing you can do is to be honest with yourself and lose the excuses: What do you want more of in your life? Kisses, cuddles, movie nights, dinners? What do you truly desire? Once you feel the longing it may hurt a little or even make you feel lonely, but trust me; we need to connect to the longing before we can open up our hearts and make the decision to create space in our life for the things we want.

Creating a life you love

The next thing to do is to check in with yourself and make sure you have a life you genuinely like. If you do already, then you can begin to move forward from a place of wellbeing. If you don’t then start weeding out the things in your life that’s draining your energy. How’s your job? Do you like your home? Do you have the friends you need that supports and love you? If not, start to create that for yourself. It’s easy to say I know, but it will be well worth the effort – not just because it increases the chances of you meeting someone special; but because it will make you happier each day. For me what really made a difference was to connect with a sisterhood.

The comfort zone thing

It’s not exactly rocket science that for something to change; We need to do things differently. So why is this so hard? This all comes down to a little thing called our comfort zone. Our brains are hardwired to keep us safe and as long as we keep doing the things we’ve always done, the brain knows we’re safe. When we do new things – our loving brain however flawed – will be terrified for it to lead to our death. Doing things we haven’t done before includes risks and the brain doesn’t like that – hence our mind will keep shooting excuses at us telling us why you shouldn’t act.

But don’t forget that you know better. You know that you’re not 100 percent happy as you are, you know you want more in your life and you know that signing up to a new cooking class won’t kill you even if you don’t know what you’re doing at first. Doing something new may be uncomfortable in the beginning, but you will learn and you will get to know new humans and then suddenly your comfort zone has expanded. So my advice is to feel the fear and allow yourself to be uncomfortable for a while – but never let that stop you from acting.

Bodylove

A really important thing about meeting someone special is how comfortable we are in our own skin. It’s all well and good to do the expansion of our comfort zone thing, but if we don’t have an energy that says ‘I’m open’, it will be really tricky to connect with new people. We have the possibility to meet someone amazing every time we step a foot outside our door, however if we’re stiff, tense or stressed, it’s difficult to signal to somebody that’s we’d like for them to come and talk to us. When we’re comfortable in our own skin however, it’s much easier to look up, say hello and instigate a conversation – or simply look like you’’d like someone to come and speak to you. For me, realizing this was a real game changer. I went from feeling like I’m a high value human who never met anyone to being a high value woman that gets stopped and asked out in the street by males (and females!).

So how is your relationship with yourself and your body? I’m not talking buying yourself massages and flowers, taking weekly bubble baths and eating healthily – although these are wonderful things to do for yourself. I’m talking about how are you filling up your life with things that make you happy and feel comfortable in your own skin so that you are ready to let the world in.

Getting comfortable in your own skin

There are many things you can do to be more comfortable in your own skin. I began with the clothes I put on. If I’m wearing clothes that I feel represent me and who I am, I tend to feel more like me. And I’m not just talking your favourite sweater here – I’m talking updating everything from your lingerie so you’re wearing the colors and styles you like the best to putting on earrings you love. Throw out the things that isn’t you and make room for shopping a wardrobe that reflects your personality.

Another thing to do is to connect with your body by doing exercises it likes. You may be a runner, but I’m not talking about the exercises you’re doing for your mind here; I’m talking about doing things that nourish your body. Like lying on a yoga mat doing belly breaths for 5 minutes while you connect to your heartbeat. Or putting on your favourite music and allowing yourself to dance around like no one is watching. Practice moving your body based on where your body wants to go – it doesn’t have to look a certain way; instead, it’s all about how it feels.   

Practice openness

When you’re comfortable in our own skin you can now actively practice speaking to new people from a place of openness. It’s SO intimidating going up to the most handsome guy in a bar if we’re not used to ever talking to strangers. And also if you – like me – prefer not to be the one who makes the first move; practice calling other people over. I love the ‘summon the hot guy with your eyes game’, but it takes practice and confidence and an open form of body language. Imagine the confidence this man needs to muster to walk across a room to come up and speak to you. Although guys can seem like they don’t care or they have no fear – they totally do so we kinda need to give them very clear signals and this takes practice.

To open up, therefore practice speaking to all humans you meet: People in the coffee line, the waiter when you’re having dinner, the shopping assistant, the new person at work, the person next to you when you’re buying wine and you have no idea about wine. Ask for help, find out their name, see if they’re having a good day – ask whatever. It’s nice when someone asks you a question and I guarantee that a conversation with a new human will make you both smile – even if it’s not your new lover. Practice practice practice and it will be way easier to speak with someone you actually fancy once you meet him.

Softness

Lastly the thing I’ll encourage you to do may be the most important; Be soft …Hear me out here. It is totally possible to be a modern independent woman and still be soft in your energy. For many of us, we’ve fought hard to get to where we are in life and have learnt from being little how it’s our mind rather than our emotions we need to lead with in order be taken seriously. We want to be  considered equals and judged based on our being smart rather than for our looks – as we should. However, this doesn’t mean that we can’t show vulnerability, use our intuition or lead with our big heart; It’s all about how we communicate.

It’s a little bit complex to explain how to be soft but a good start is to begin by taking the force and aggression out of communicating and simply be kind yet firm in the way we express ourselves. You could also call it acting from a point of being leaned back. This way of communicating is rooted in knowing your worth, which you can read more about in this post.

I hope this is helpful and I’m always happy to help so if you could use a little more guidance on this, do let me know.

Sending lots of

Mai, Scandinavian Earthchild

The post Where are all the cute men? appeared first on Scandinavian EarthChild.

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Finding love can be tricky. Although we see in many movies how humans randomly bump into one another and fall madly in love with little to no effort; life is oftentimes a little more complicated than that. So you meet someone nice online or maybe at work or through friends, you REALLY like the guy but then what? In reality, you still need to get to know the guy, charm him, seem interesting, not desperate all – yet all the while your mind is fast-forwarding to a few years into the future where you may or may not be wearing a certain white dress. In this little piece I want to address how we can hold on to ourselves and be authentic rather than playing a game when we’re getting to know someone new.

Be you

So, when we start dating someone new oftentimes we will have a friend that says; don’t play any games, just be you. To this I have to say what a terrible piece advice – on it’s own at least. You like a guy. What that oftentimes does to a female brain is close to insanity when we’re honest. Men and women are very different in the way we’re steered by our emotions so if you’re not all that aware of this fact, and your friend tells you to “just be you” – chances are you’ll let yourself go COMPLETELY and scare him away.

When a female likes a male it can be hard for us to think of anything else. We will literally dream up a scenario of the perfect man in the shape of our new male acquaintance and project all of our most favourite qualities onto him. The level of his perfectness and the fact that we’ve now finally met HIM then makes it hard to focus on pretty much anything else. He pops up in your mind at work, in the gym, when you’re with friend – basically every 10 minutes no matter what really – so why hold back? Why not go all in and raise those levels of expectation and push to spend as much time together as possible – because we’ve already wasted SO much time and we still have SO much to do together!

The thing in this scenario though, is that we don’t know this man at all yet – so if we just ‘be ourselves’ and act based on our emotions we may not be acting as who we truly are.  Step one therefore is to acknowledge that when we like a guy we tend to go a little crazy, which endangers us to act in a way that isn’t really us. Knowing this, we can then practice feeling all the feelings, yet acting only based on what the man shows us he is, rather than what we wish for him to be. This way, we’re acting way more as who we truly are – just without the craziness of zaa zaa zu.

Playing it cool

Maybe you’ve been in the situation above one too many times and now it’ time to play it safe. No more looking like a fool or getting disappointed for you – so now you start playing it cool. When he texts you, you reply in a way that’s a bit indifferent, when you’re on a date you act less impressed with what he says and generally you just don’t show that much emotion. It’s not that he isn’t funny, impressive or attractive; It’s just that the heart can’t be trusted so it’s better to wait until he has proven to you that he likes you before you start to open up. Sounds familiar? This situation is tricky because here we risk getting dumped for being ‘boring’ or ‘plain’ or we risk getting dropped just as we start to open up because the guy was more interested in ‘ the chase’ than he was in you. This is a crappy situation too. Therefore my advice is; don’t play it cool – change your mind-set instead.

Dating is a vulnerable concept / word if you ask me – so I tend to change it. Instead of dating; I’m meeting and getting to know interesting people. For me, this takes the point of playing games out of the equation completely. Because when you’re not thinking about dating as dating; It’s not about getting someone to like you. Instead, it’s about meeting someone you’d genuinely like to spend more time with – and for this to happen we need to show up as who we are. There’s no point in faking who we are if you’re simply looking for somebody to enjoy spending time with. Who wants to be someone they’re not every time a friend comes over? That would exhausting so it makes way more sense to show who we are and meet someone that appreciates it. And whenever we meet someone who thinks we laugh too loud, are too clumsy, feel too much, speak too much, isn’t attractive enough – it’s easy to let them go. Because this person will not make us feel comfortable around them so why would we want to spend more time with them? Playing it cool is a waste of time if you ask me and simply drags out the process of finding out if the match is right.

Own yourself

A goddess doesn’t chase, fix, change or desperately need a man. She won’t stoop to a level beneath her standards – if a male doesn’t fit the bill – she will simply move on with her life. It’s not about being judgemental, angry or having expectations when we’re getting to know someone – it’s simply about knowing your worth and making decisions that support that worth.

When I’m seeing someone he can show up as much or as little as he wants to. He can like as many or little of my social media posts as he wants, call or text me as much or as little as he wants to – there literally are no expectations from me. What there is though, is me observing how he wants to show up for me. The guy decides what kind of man he wants to be for me and it’s my job to decide whether or not that is right for me. How he shows up has nothing to do with me anyway – it’s about who he is and who he chooses to be as a man.

The same applies to my by the way.  I don’t have to be someone I’m not – in reality I can’t anyway – it’s not sustainable. Just like a man chooses who he wants to be and how he wants to show up in a relation to me – I get to choose how I invest in our romance. Do I want to show up as ‘miss crazy’ that dreams up a man and over-invest prematurely? Do I want to play it cool and pretend I’m not interested? Or do I choose to simply be me? Do I choose to own the fact that I like him if that’s the case and will I dare let him know? Do I choose to speak up if something feels off to me? Do I hold space or do I set up rules and expectations?

My experience is that the more I can own who I am and how I feel – without judging it – the more I can stop playing any games. Is it or isn’t this good enough? Can I be in the uncomfortable phase of uncertainty and vulnerability that exists in the interim between meeting and getting to know someone – without reacting senselessly in fear, but rather choosing to act from a point of self worth? This is the practice – and it is when we become good at being in this space that we can stop playing any dating games <3

I hope you’ve had a beautiful weekend.

Sending

Mai, Scandinavian Earthchild x

The post Taking ‘the game’ out of dating appeared first on Scandinavian EarthChild.

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I had a conversation with a bank lady the other day. I’ve moved back to Denmark and needed to answer a few general questions with a person at the bank. The lady was lovely and when she heard that I’m a health coach returning to my home country she was telling me how relevant this is in Scandiland too. Out of the kindness of her heart, the lady suggested that I start offering food plans for people for them to follow since she works in a department of ladies where 5 of them are already doing this so clearly there’s a need. In my conversation with this sweet lady, I explained to her why I don’t recommend following food plans and instead teach people how to eat intuitively. Here’s the reason…

Health, happiness and food

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over and over again in my time working with humans it’s that our relationship with food is linked directly to or works as an extension of how we feel about ourselves and in life. If we’re happy and content we enjoy our food, eat till we’re full and have a balanced relationship to our nutrition. If, on the other hand, we’re anxious about something, unhappy with our life circumstances or heartbroken it will manifest in our relationship to food. There are many expressions of this, but a few examples are for us to overeat, to have unhealthy habits around food or for us to take control and put all kinds of barriers up when it comes to what we ‘can’ and ‘cannot’ eat. For this reason I don’t believe in food plans as such. They may be a helpful tool for a while to help your body adjust to portions etc. However, they will never allow you to fix your relationship with food or teach you how to nourish yourself with love.

Restriction and Trust

Another thing about food plans is that there’s no joy or spontaneity when it comes to following a plan. If you restrict yourself to a plan, you will always have a sense of lack because there’s always something you ‘can’t’ eat. And, you’ll never be allowed to listen to what your body is naturally telling you that it craves – in other words, you’re not trusting your body. The natural mechanism where your body is meant to tell you what it needs when it needs is, gets eliminated completely when we follow a plan that’s outlined by the mind. We’re therefore always stuck in our heads in a state of control and never fully connected to the body. What happened to trusting the amazing machine you were born into also known as your beautiful body?

Treat yourself with kindness

If you have challenges with your weight I believe in looking at your habits around food and beginning to fix how we think about ourselves and the food we choose. Food is not a reward, nor is it something to hold back as a punishment. Food is something we can choose and something we get to enjoy. What do you think will happen if you decide to eat the things that make your body feel good? What do you think would happen if you started eating food that nourished you from the inside out? What would happen if you decided that food is your way of honoring yourself and your body? What if there was nothing you couldn’t have and all you needed to do was trust yourself to stop eating when you’re satisfied? I don’t believe in restrictions because if you tell me that I can’t eat cake, all I want is cake! But if I can have cake whenever I want I don’t need it all the time – and I’ll just choose to have it when my body craves it. So ladies, I urge you; loose the restrictions and be kind to yourself instead. Cake is absolutely fine – as long as it’s something you enjoy when you feel like it!

One man’s poison…

When I got into health coaching many years ago a one of the reasons I did it was because I couldn’t figure out the jungle of mixed information I was getting when it came to eating in the right way. Was it the Atkins diet, was veganism the best way forward, should I lose the gluten? It seemed like in every woman’s magazine there was a new diet that contradicted the other. Then I realized something; all bodies are different and not one thing is right. What is right for me and my body isn’t necessarily right for my client because her constitution is different. Food isn’t about calories and an apple is just an apple. The apple bears a code – and it’s all about how my individual body interprets that code and work with the nutrition in the apple. So also, explore options, but never compare yourself ♡

I hope this was food for thought and I do encourage you to reach out if you could use a little bit of help with your relationship with food. Food can be such a restrictive web or stress.

Sending you lots of

Mai, Scandinavian Earthchild x

Ps. the photo above is of my morning acai bowl with chocolate. They’re amazing to start out your day so check out the recipes here.

The post Feeding yourself kindness appeared first on Scandinavian EarthChild.

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I had a session with a client yesterday. She was furious. A friend of hers found out that her husband was cheating on her back in September and after a period of leaning heavily on my client, the friend chose to stay with her husband. My client was angry – not just on behalf of her friend, but at her friend as well. It’s a tricky situation when we are close to someone who’s being hurt and disrespected by their partner. How do we support them? Here are my thoughts..

Infidelity

Infidelity is a painful thing – it’s not just about the physical act of it as it also comes with the betrayal of trust, implications on self worth, oftentimes self doubt and many more emotional consequences. In some instances an affair can save a relationship (depending on the reason for it and how we deal in the aftermath), but most often it will break a relationship. Personally, I don’t believe in being unfaithful – I believe in being with someone and respecting and honoring them with you love but also by being truthful. Even when it’s hard, we always have the chance to speak the truth – and who knows, maybe admitting that you’re attracted to somebody else will end up bringing you closer to your partner. Or, it’s simply the  kind thing to do to leave a relationship when you’re no longer invested with your whole heart. Regardless though – I’m not judging it.

Don’t judge her – love her through it.

All situations when it comes to unfaithfulness are different. There will always be different circumstances, different humans, different relationships, different interactions caught up in the mix of a mess that this situation is. One thing remains the same though, and that is how we can best support our friend from the outside in a  situation like this: We empower her. We love her and we shower her in all the faith we have in her so that she feels she is strong, worthy and knows exactly what to do. Even if she doesn’t believe it – we make her feel it. We make her feel someone is holding her hand and she’s got an army of love behind her so she is safe no matter what. It’s not about laying our opinion on her – it’s about her finding her way.

Holding space

It’s always really easy to be standing outside hearing how your friend has been disrespected and then see no other way than her leaving her partner. We get mad on her behalf, we so desperately want her to take back her power and ‘show him’ and so we say that she should kick him out. We gain control, we take charge and surely we will lead her out of this mess. Only, this doesn’t really work if we are to help our beloved sister grow and take back her power.

Taking back her power

No flower ever grow from being hit in the head with a hammer. I love this expression because it’s so true. If your man had cheated on you how would you feel? Angry probably, but mostly you’d be hurt as hell. You’d be questioning yourself, feeling like you’d been kicked to the ground and maybe also be in shock. (Sisterhood is always important and) I get that it’s nice to let somebody else take the rails when we can’t steer ourselves, and maybe that’s a great thing to do if your friend was blindsided and starts out in a complete state of chock. However, in the recovery period after the shock has gone down – assist her as she’s rebuilding herself by not inflicting any of your own judgement onto her situation. Believe me, she will be confused enough as it is and will need confirmation that she is worthy and absolutely capable of doing what is right to honor herself. Be soft so that you don’t put extra pressure on her to do what you feel is right, and instead help her find what is right for her. As a sister and a loving support, be her safe space. Only when we feel safe and loved can we make the right choice – especially when it’s a scary life changing decision we’re making. And  it will take time, but little by little when we make little decisions that support us do we take back our power.

Support

I get that sometimes the hardest thing to do is to stand back and watch your friend make the same mistake over and over again. I truly do appreciate that it’s incredibly difficult to see a friend allow someone to treat her like a doormat; to stand back and observe how she let’s someone mistreat or even abuse her. But the thing is, that you are not there to save her – she must save herself. Help her see that she can. By not putting pressure on her and allowing her to take things in her own pace  whilst telling her that you have all the faith in the world that she knows how to solve this situation; you’re lifting her up instead of putting her down. You’re creating a place where she can rise in (self) love and not drown in being held back as a helpless victim.

Boundaries

There’s only so much that we can take and when allowing someone else to lean on you – don’t forget about yourself. Be the space, be the light, be the love that shines upon your friend – but only to the extent that you are okay with it. Know that you have a responsibility to yourself first and foremost and that it really is not up to you to save your friend. It’s a beautiful thing for you to be there, but you can’t pour from an empty cup, so be there to the extent that you’re not compromising yourself. And if you must take your own space – simply do it in love by not being angry with her, but stepping away telling her that you love her too much to watch this situation, yet letting her know that you’re there for her when she is ready to honor and love herself more than the person that’s mistreating her.

This is a delicate subject, but I still felt like sharing. Do reach out if you’re in need of support.

Sending lots of

Mai, Scandinavian earthchild x

The post Sister support – when he’s cheating appeared first on Scandinavian EarthChild.

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I made a dream catcher last night and it made me think about sleep. For a while I’ve been a little bored with writing tips on healthy living such as recipes, training tips, goal setting etc. Mostly because none of it is rocket science and there’s so much info out there for anyone who wants to live more healthily. Any one human can change their lifestyle if they want to – the key to doing it is the change in mind-set. Anyways, sleeping well at night is the foundation for anything and for the last 3 weeks I’ve gone to sleep at night in my old childhood room. The feeling I go to bed with is so comfy and safe and I literally sleep like a baby, which is boosting my energy levels so I thought I’d write a little something about the meaning of a good bedtime routine.

Going to bed feeling good

I put on my new naughty little lace onsie and wrap my favourite kimono from Vietnam around me before putting on my big warm slippers and go to the bathroom to wash my face and get myself ready for bed. I’ve lit some incense and put on some gentle relaxing music and in the bathroom I take my time with all the nourishing cleaning products, the re-hydration lotions and my purple bamboo toothbrush. Then I go back to bed reading a book for a bit before snuggling up in my big double duvet covered in my egyptian cotton sheets and close my eyes. This. is. Heaven.

I’m sure you know the feeling between a good and a bad night’s sleep in your body. You either feel fresh, rested and ready for a new day or you simply want to go back under the covers and feel slightly annoyed that you need to go to work. The thing about sleep is that it’s the foundation for anything we do in life. It literally recharges us and makes sure our brain functions optimally and that our body works as best as it can, yet so many of us neglect and don’t prioritise it.

Sleep – magical me-time

Since it’s January and many humans have set New Year resolutions I just wanted to remind you to remember your foundation. Set yourself up to achieve whatever you want by getting to bed and giving yourself the kind of rest you deserve. What I described above is not just my bedtime routine, it’s also my way of connecting to and nourishing myself before I go off to the land of dreams each night. It matters that I go to sleep wearing something I love, it matters that the covers I lay in all night feel amazing on my skin, it matters that I have taken the time to de-stress my mind before drifting off. It even matters that I am falling a sleep in a nice and tidy room next to my crystals and my dream catcher. Because this time in my bed at night is MY time.

All day we run around on ‘task solving mode’, adapting, adjusting, pushing and pulling to achieve whatever things we set out to. In our bed we don’t have to do any of that. Bedtime is pleasure time and nourish time and when you honor that, sleep will not only help you function better from a physical point of view; It will also help fill up your love tank and remind you of your self worth. The world outside will only ever treat you in accordance with the standards you set for yourself, which is attached to how you value yourself.

Only when we truly value ourselves will we say no to things and actions towards us that is not okay. And only when we say no to things that are not right for us, can we attract and open up the opportunities that are right for us. Therefore, why not find what works for you and set yourself up with a bed time routine that supports YOU? (For more tips and a nice night cap check out this Turmeric latte )

Year of the Goddess

I not only want to sleep well, I also want to have happy dreams so I build myself a dreamcatcher. Anything lovely you ever received in life began with having a good dream before finding the courage to reach out for it. Why not help yourself receive more goodness this year? I call this year, ‘Year of the Goddess’ – why don’t you honor yourself and join me?

Sending lots of

Mai, Scandinavian Earthchild x     

The post Sleep – Year of the Goddess appeared first on Scandinavian EarthChild.

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Patience is a virtue they say, but lately this little concept has come into my life carrying lots more magic than that. For as long as I can remember I’ve been really good at dreaming up what I want my life to look like a few years into the future; My career, my love life, the house I’m wanting to live in, the surroundings in my sphere etc. Knowing what you want and where you want to go is a great thing, yes. However, this vision for my future has also oftentimes come with a backside of stress, self-imposed pressure and frustration that things (read me) aren’t moving fast enough. If you tend to be hard on yourself the same way too, I thought I’d share a bit about what I’ve recently realized about patience. This is something that is absolutely not rocket science, yet has lately been a massive stress buster and happiness spinner for me.

Status check and Perspective

We’re coming closer to a year ending and a new one beginning. This is a time where many of us run a little status check on our lives and review how far we’ve come. For me, I know I’ve come far in this last year, however that doesn’t stop me setting new goals to impatiently strive for. (Get tips to setting SMART goals here). For the last 6 months of my life though I’ve had the joy of connecting with some wise-ass-boss-babes of inspiring women 10 years my senior.  This has given me a new perspective that is helping me cultivate more patience and a greater sense of compassion for myself as I keep marching forward towards my dreams.

So the new grand perspective all boils down to this; I am not meant to be further along than I am right this minute. It’s as simple as that. It’s foolish really, that something so simple can be so easy to forget, but we need to take our time carving out the life we desire – because there are things to learn (and enjoy) along the way.

My perspective changed when spending time with women who are further along in life and in their careers than me because they reminded me of the amazing things that are happening in my life right now. The future will come no matter what so they only question is whether or not we choose to enjoy our time coming into it. There is really no reason (or benefits) to stressing ourselves out and putting massive pressure on ourselves while we work, look for love, try to start a family or whatever it is we’re wanting to do. It won’t move us any quicker because some things simply takes time to mature and needs time to form.

Support and Dream Chasing

Now this isn’t to say that we shouldn’t strive for anything, or that we shouldn’t go for whatever it is that we desire in our lives. It’s not even to say slow down – I’m all for going all in 100 percent and chasing your dreams. What I’m saying is this; be careful of your mind-set and how you set expectations for yourself. SUPPORT yourself. BELIEVE in yourself. BACK yourself, but be KIND and patient with yourself while you’re learning and life is being built. Are you expecting yourself to be super-woman right now? Are you comparing yourself to others who are older, someone who has had more years to build or shape something or someone who has had more experience or a different support system than you etc.?

In the last 6 weeks I’ve become part of a new little family in Dubai, consisting of my friend – the boss babe Lindsay – Sydney, the fur child – and me. I’ve learned so much from Lindsay in this short time on all kinds of business matters, but the biggest thing she’s given me is the reminder to enjoy where I am right now and not overload myself with expectations and pressure. She has 10 years on me, so of course she’s further ahead than me in her career than me. How could I forget this simple fact? Spending time with Lindsay took all my stress away and brought so much joy and excitement about creating instead. In addition, another little gold nugget I got is the reminder that things simply take time to form …And although we might be able to visualise how everything is meant to unfold for our future to be shaped how we want it, any process of building something will depend on other factors beyond our control too.

So for all of these reasons don’t rush whatever it is that you’re creating for yourself. Take your time and keep a compassionate, supportive mind-set towards yourself when you’re reviewing your life this December.

Merry Christmas and lots of

Mai, Scandinavian Earthchild x

The post Patience, Perspective & Happiness appeared first on Scandinavian EarthChild.

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I used to think that there was a part of me that would always be lonely until I had that one leading man in my life. True, there is a part of one’s ‘love container’ that only a lover can fill, however what I’ve come to realize – especially over the past year – is that there’s too a part of me that can only be filled up by being part of groups of women supporting one another. Women across the world, across generations, across fields of professions; supporting one another and rising together.

woman to woman

Have you ever been looked at by another woman and felt judged? Did you ever experience being the subject of a group of women’s gossip? Have you ever felt belittled, talked down to and made to feel small in the presence of other women? Chances are you probably have. Most likely you would have also been on the other side of the judgement; passing it towards someone else. Because most of us have, at one point or another in our lives – since this is how women have been treating one another for centuries; as competitors.

In recent years there has been a movement of feminism rising – a lot of which has been going against the advantage men have had over women in many areas of life. Equality must prevail, yes, however, a lot of female oppression has nothing to do with men; in fact, we women have been a massive part of female oppression by holding each other down in the way we treat one another.

what we learn when we’re little

Ever since I was a little girl I have had massive troubles with other girls. The moment we were about 10 years of age everything seemed to get more complicated as we were now entering an age where it began to matter whether a not a boy liked you. Suddenly girls were ganging up on each other, got calculated when it came to which friendships to have and started to put one another down if that meant getting rated as being more popular. Put in another way; when gentle forms of attraction began to matter, the girls became less authentic and more calculated / vicious towards each other.

This competitive and mean-ness has been my experience with females all through my life, and it has made it hard to know who to really trust. It’s not to say that I haven’t had any female friends up until this point in my life. By the beginning of my early twenties I started to hand-pick carefully selected female friends who I trust completely. But until this year I was never able to be part of a group of ladies after my teen years, as I was burned so severely back then, that it simply felt too fragile, too scary, too vulnerable and too exposed for me to enter and be part of a group of women again.

But perhaps it’s not even just about men or the attraction-competition that’s the cause of this. Maybe this distrust amongst women is something that has been passed down from generation to generation via our DNA for centuries, since the age when we burned witches on the fire. Whatever the cause though, this distrust between women must stop if we are to rise and claim our power back. Ever heard of the ‘old boys club’? How are women meant to win forward in life if we don’t at least support one another in doing so? And this is not to say that men are the enemy here; they’re not. Nor are other women the enemy; judgement and distrust are.

healing sisters

Over the last year I have had the pleasure to feel what it’s like to be part of female circles that lift each other up. I like to call it sisterhood, because that’s what it feels like. Like the feeling of a long warm hug, I have met women where together we have created a place of no judgement, care and support for one another. We share the shit that matters – the things we’re ‘not supposed to’ speak about, the tabus, the happiness, the highs and the challenges. It is not a place to whine, it is a space of becoming. If you’re going through something hard; vocalise and share it, but own and take responsibility for your own process. Ask for support; you have a group of women holding and witnessing you – cheering you on even – but know that at the end of the day it’s your stuff to work through. Ask for perspective, when you can’t see, ask for advice when this is needed, ask for help – no ask is too big, but allow yourself to do the work rather than look for someone to rescue you. It is so much easier to grow and step up when you are fully supported and backed by other women who have nothing but your best interest at heart.

What I’ve learned

For me one of the biggest things I’ve learned being amongst these fellow women this year is that being vulnerable, asking for help and sharing when things are both amazing and hard is so healing. I get to learn from and get inspired by women with more or simply different life experience than me. And I get to see that no matter how I feel; it’s okay. Because I’m fully accepted and loved just as I am – by myself and a group of big hearted women. Together we rejoice in celebrations when we experience highs, together we stand when someone is moving through hardship – and always do we encourage one another to grow, shine and own ourselves.

The sisterhoods I’ve become part of are places of safety where you get to show up just as you are no matter the state and be loved and welcomed – like what some of us are lucky enough to feel from our best friend. The magic however lies in the community. One thing is having one friend support you – another thing is feeling other women – women that you may not even know all that well – supporting you. And it’s a completely different concept again to see other women being held and guided with compassion when they are rocky. It can be hard to know how to own yourself and how to show up for other women with compassion and space rather than judgement. This isn’t what many of us have experienced and in the beginning we may need help to do so, but they best way to learn is by experiencing it. And the thing is, that ultimately with a network of supportive women, life is much easier to navigate from an empowered place. Love grows love, acceptance foster acceptance, space creates space.

I feel so differently towards women today than I’ve done before. I’m no longer scared of them, I feel much more compassion towards myself and others and even if I experience judgement I am able to hold space for that too. I also view other women as inspirations in a new way and am completely open to whatever wisdom I can learn from someone older or simply different from me.

Changing our worlds

So lovely ladies, when entering into a new week tomorrow, perhaps set sisterhood and female connection as your intention for the week. Try to experiment with how you engage with other women. If you’re op top of the world; try reaching out to hold space or show compassion for another woman – maybe even someone you don’t know all that well. If you’re feeling low; try opening up and sharing that with a fellow female too. Allow yourself the chance to connect deeper with someone from your own gender. Men are lovely and sharing things with your partner is good, but there’s an understanding between women that only females can tap into. I hope you get to experience that special magic.

Sending lots of

Mai, Scandinavian Earthchild x

The post Sisterhood – the importance of female community appeared first on Scandinavian EarthChild.

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