Saying “No” to someone you love can make people feel guilty. They feel mean for saying no. Nothing could be further from the truth. When you tell a child “no” you are saying it for good reason. That doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you a good parent. So why can’t it be the same with adults?
Saying “No” is how we enforce our personal boundaries. Whatever your reason is for saying no, it is good enough for you, so it should be good enough for the one you love. We all want to say yes to the one we love most of the time. We feel it is a way of showing how much we care. But that doesn’t mean that when you say “No” to someone you love that you don’t care about them.
If the one you love gets upset if you do not say yes to their every demand or favor (or whatever) then there is a bigger problem going on in your relationship. Someone that tries to make you feel bad for saying no to them is trying to manipulate you. They want you to feel bad so you always say yes. That kind of manipulation is mean, and nice people don’t behave that way. Selfish, entitled, spoiled brats do. If you are experiencing this kind of dynamic in your relationship then it is time to put the hammer down to change it. That is not a healthy relationship, and it won’t get any better without major change.
Saying ‘No’ Doesn’t Make You a Bad Person
The first thing you have to get into your head is that you do not have to say yes all the time. Especially if the person is using you and taking you for granted. Do they always say yes to you? More than likely they don’t. So why do you? You don’t, so knock it off.
The next thing you have to accept and understand is that you should not feel guilty when you feel the need to say no. You know the type of person you are. You know you are not doing it to be mean. Your loved one should know you just as well and knows damn well you are not a mean person. They just want you to think they think you are mean, so you will do what they want. Since they don’t believe it, neither should you.
The next thing for you to look at is how your loved one responds when you say no. Do they get nasty? Withhold affection? Act like the walking wounded? Say nasty things? Say stupid things like “You NEVER do anything I ask you to” when you both know damn well you say yes to pretty much everything? Well, trust me, they don’t have amnesia, they remember the past and how often you say yes. They are just throwing a fit like a child whose parent won’t buy them something in the store that they want.
Should behavior like that be rewarded with children? No. Should it be rewarded with adults? Hell no. So why are you rewarding bad behavior like this? And should you wonder why you have a self centered brat as a loved one? Hey, you helped create this monster, so do what is necessary to disassemble them.
Get comfortable with saying no. It won’t be the end of the world if you don’t rearrange your day to pick up their dry cleaning. Don’t be afraid they will leave you because you don’t pick up their dry cleaning. If they do, then you didn’t have much of a relationship in the first place. Don’t overextend yourself or put yourself last in order to make someone else be number one all the time, especially if they rarely do it for you.
The best relationships are balanced relationships. You cannot have the right balance in your relationship unless you have the freedom to say no without retaliation.
The most difficult people to have relationships with are those who behave in ways that make for unhealthy relationships. We should be able to spot these behaviors right away and recognize them for the red flags they are. In reality, most people choose to ignore these red flags altogether and make excuses for them. You don’t want to get caught in a relationship with someone whose behavior is going to make it difficult, if not impossible to have a harmonious relationship.
So who are the most difficult people to have relationships with? We created a list of people with behaviors you should look out for:
THE MOST DIFFICULT PEOPLE TO HAVE RELATIONSHIPS WITH
1. Controlling people are some of the most difficult people to have a relationship with. Their desire for power makes a true partnership impossible. They want to control everything, and everyone, at all times. No one really can be truly happy in a relationship with a control freak.
2. People who do not open up about what is going on in their minds, or express their feelings are extremely difficult to get close to. You have to guess their thoughts and desires, and how they feel about things (and you). You can’t really get close to someone if they wont show you how they feel or what they are thinking. Without growing closer, the relationship stagnates and cannot grow moving forward.
3. Someone who never takes responsibility for their words and actions are frustrating to deal with. It is difficult to deal with someone who will not be held accountable for anything they do or say that is wrong. These same people will fully expect you to take responsibility for your words and actions. (And more than likely, theirs as well)
4. Liars and cheaters (we combined these two since they go hand in hand in many cases) are very difficult to have a happy, lasting relationship with. No one likes to be lied to, and without the truth, you have no trust. Once trust is broken, it is hard to fix and is never the same. The same goes for cheating.
The Most Difficult People to Have Relationships With
5. Someone who will not apologize is another difficult person. Everyone has the capacity to apologize. These people choose not to. They like to cause problems, act out, and behave badly. They don’t want to apologize because they don’t want to admit they are wrong. They also do not want any consequences for their actions or words. How can you forgive someone when they are not sorry? Why would you forgive someone that isn’t sorry for hurting you? You shouldn’t.
6. Passive aggressive and/or manipulators are another group of problematic people when it comes to relationships. Being passive aggressive is a form of manipulation. There are many ways people can manipulate their partner. No one should be played for a fool, or have to deal with a puppet master that is trying to pull their strings for their own agenda. How can someone say they love you yet manipulate you at the same time? If your relationship involves passive aggression or manipulation, congratulations, you are in a dysfunctional relationship.
7. Selfish people, who want the world, and your relationship to revolve solely around them are difficult people to be in a relationship with. You may go along for the ride at first, and think you don’t mind, but that won’t last. It is only going to get worse since you enabled them for so long. At some point, you will realize you lost a part of yourself and your partner didn’t care that you were doing so. This imbalance will catch up with all couples at some point.
All relationships have conflict at some point, and are not always harmonious. That is reality. But do not delude yourself and excuse the red flags when they are waving in front of your face. Any other people come to mind that you feel are difficult people to be in relationships with, please comment below!
Is it really love or is it something else? Sometimes what we think is love is actually something else entirely, and that something is not a good thing. Almost everyone has heard the quote “If you don’t love yourself you cannot love anyone else.” It really is true. If you love yourself you know what love looks like. You know how to treat people, and how you should be treated. You know what loving dialogue sounds like, and what demeaning dialogue sounds like.
When you love yourself, you respect yourself. You also recognize disrespect right away and will not tolerate it. You attract, and are attracted, to people who treat you with love. When you do not love yourself, you are insecure. You are attracted to people who make you feel insecure. You want to win their affections, but at the same time, feel unworthy of them.
When we are younger, it seems harder to truly love yourself, because many people are still on the journey of finding out who they really are. This could be why younger people are more prone to become infatuated with “bad boys” that are nasty to them or unkind. They may think they like the challenge, or that they like someone who keeps them on their toes. In reality, they tapped into their insecurity.
Is it Really Love or Something Else?
Feeling insecure makes us uncomfortable, so in an effort to rid ourselves of that feeling, we try and win the affections of people who make us insecure. It may feel like love, but it isn’t. It simply does not make sense that you could care for someone who treats you like garbage. You may have feelings for them, but those feelings are coming from a negative place.
Now, if at one point someone was good to you, and feelings between you developed and then they suddenly (or over a long period) began to treat you badly, that is real love, because it was really present at one point. But if it never was or never has been, take a look at what your real emotional investment with this person is.
Maybe its lust, where the physical pull makes them irresistible even though they have not treated you in a loving manner. You may be obsessed with changing this persons mind about you, and seeing you in another way. You may think then things between you would be more like a loving relationship. But the truth of the matter is, until you heal your wounds, and deal with your own insecurities yourself, you will have a hard time loving yourself.
And if you don’t love yourself, you will find yourself attracting and being attracted to the wrong people. If you don’t love yourself but find yourself lucky enough to meet someone that can truly love you, you may find yourself sabotaging the relationship. Bottom line? If you want real love in your life, it has to start with you.
Are they ready for a relationship? You may want them to be, and they may even say they are, but how can you tell? People often talk the talk, but do not back it up with action. They say the right things and make you believe they really want to be in a relationship. They can waste your time, and break your heart if you are not careful.
So how can you tell if they are really ready to be in a healthy relationship, as opposed to a dysfunctional one? Here are some signs they are ready for a relationship, and the flip side, that they are not.
1. If they are open about their feelings, and are not afraid to show vulnerability, then that is a good indication they are ready for a relationship. If they keep their feelings to themselves, and think being vulnerable is a sign of weakness, they are more than likely not ready for the kind of healthy, loving relationship you are.
2. If there is a balance between their emotion and logic, chances are they are ready for a relationship and won’t rush into things or take to long to get to the next level. People that rush relationships and move too fast are doing that for the wrong reasons. They can disappear just as fast as they moved things along. Be careful and suspicious. People like this often are running on the euphoria of a new romance, but once the newness wears off, they drop you like a hot potato.
Are They Ready for a Relationship?
3. If he or she communicates both negative and positive emotions in a healthy way, they are a prime candidate for a healthy relationship. If they fly off the handle or want to control the conversation or are demeaning, over critical or take the low road, they are not ready for a healthy relationship. Unfortunately, you cannot know this until you have your fist argument or difference of opinion. You never have the full story of who they really are until you see both sides of them. You cannot tell how they handle anger until you see them angry.
4. He or she is ready for a relationship if they accept you as you are. if they want to change too much about you and turn you into someone else, then they are not ready for a relationship with you, they need to find someone else to control instead of you.
5. If he or she still talks to much about their ex, communicate or sees their ex too much (or still lives with them) then they are not ready for a relationship with you. Relationships need to have time and space between them, and ones that overlap come with tons of baggage and drama. Wait until they have had time to detox from their last (or current) relationship before jumping into things.
6. If they work too much, have hobbies that take too much of their time, or for whatever reason have very little time to spend with you, then he or she is not ready for a relationship with you. Don’t allow them to give you their crumbs of spare time. Yes, you should accept the fact that they are busy people, but you also have to accept that they are too busy for YOU and pretty much this is as good as it is going to get. Don’t expect it to change down the road. Ask them to change it now, and if they don’t change it now, you need to walk away.
Even with all these signs it is hard to know for sure if he or she is really ready for a relationship. Some people play a good game, hide their intentions, or are good manipulators. But, if you really pay attention, and look for the signs, you can lower your risk of getting involved with the wrong people.
Relationship questions are part of the dating process and can help you evaluate if someone has the right relationship material for you. You do not want to get into a relationship with just anyone, otherwise you will most likely wind up with a crappy relationship. You want to make sure you ask your potential partner the right questions, but you also need to be asking the right questions to yourself, and give yourself honest answers. Anyone can lie to you, so asking questions of someone you are dating, or in the early stages of a relationship, may not get you the truth. But don’t lie to yourself, and don’t ignore the warning signs and red flags right in front of you.
Here is a short list of 10 relationship questions you need to ask yourself to determine if the person you are dating has relationship potential, or if your current relationship needs some work. (Or for you to bail.)
1. Are there many outside influences getting in the way of your dates or your relationship? What I mean, are people supportive of your relationship or constantly trying to tear you two apart? Now, what other people think of your relationship should not affect whether or not the two of you get together or stay together, but in many, many cases, it does. If your current partners ex-wife, for example, does not respect boundaries and has zero respect for your relationship it shouldn’t cause friction between the two of you. Your current partner should enforce boundaries, and not allow you or your relationship to be disrespected. You should not be fighting about their ex-wife. You should be united as a team and stay strong and it should not affect your relationship. If you are not, then you have to admit to yourself that their past relationship is their priority, and you are not. They want you to lie down and be run over by their ex. That says a lot about them, and shows there are bigger problems in your relationship that just their ex wife being a bitch. They are allowing their ex wife to be a bitch to you, and that right there is a huge red flag. This is just one example of how an outside can negatively influence the future of getting into or staying in a relationship with this person.
Top 10 Relationship Questions You Need to Ask Yourself
2. Are you in sync with one another or are their too many differences of lifestyle, opinion, or beliefs? Sometimes opposites do attract and can have a harmonious relationship. In many cases, when their are too many differences between the partners they just don’t click and they get on each other’s nerves and it causes too much conflict. Look at what you really want out of life, and how you choose to live it. If your potential partner (or current partner) has a completely different viewpoint, you may just be a bad fit for one another.
3. Do you both like one another as you are now, or are either of you waiting, hoping, or wanting to see changes in the other? Change may never happen, and who you both are now is all you have to base your future on. And, instead of trying to make someone into someone else better suited for you, why not find someone better suited for you? It wouldn’t be more work trying to find the right person for you than it would be trying to change someone that doesn’t want to change.
4. If you were not pursuing a romantic relationship, could you actually be friends with one another? Is a basis for friendship there? If there isn’t, you don’t have the best foundation to build upon.
5. When you have disagreements, how do you resolve them? Does every little fight or difference of opinion become a huge battle that lasts way long than it should? Since almost no couple is going to get along all the time, how you resolve conflict is of the utmost importance. So is how often conflict arises. If your disagreements lead to world war three, you need to rethink this relationship all together, or avoid getting into a relationship with this person in the first place.
6. Do you feel your relationship is balanced? What I mean by this is are you both contributing to the success of the relationship? Are you both putting forth an effort and doing the work or is it all on one of you? Is one of you always having to be the bigger person all the time? Is one of you always getting what you want while the other waits for it to finally be their turn? Is one one of you making sacrifices for the good of the relationship? If there is no balance, the foundation is already rocky. You would not want to pursue a relationship with this person until a more even balance can be created. That will be very difficult to achieve, so don’t kid yourself. If your relationship is already off balance, you need create change or it will only get worse.
Top 10 Relationship Questions You Need to Ask Yourself
7. Do you both have similar goals and do you support one another achieving them? Do you both want the same things out of life and are you both willing to do your share to make them happen? If you both do not want the same things out of life, and support each other’s achievements, you will more than likely grow apart, because you are not growing together.
8. Does your time together include a lot of quality time? Anyone can have fun with another person at a movie or an amusement park, but can you have a good time just being together, and talking? Can you make the best out of a situation when plans fall through and still have a good time? At the end of the day, you have to truly enjoy one another’s company and keep communication and quality time a priority. If not, then your future together doesn’t look too bright.
9. Are you both happy with where your dating or relationship is at the moment? If you are not really happy right now, you need to take a serious step back and ask yourself why you are in a relationship you are not happy with, or why you would enter into a relationship with someone who you are already not happy with. If you are staying for the wrong reasons, that won’t make your relationship right. It is a problem that will get worse over time. If you think by getting into a relationship that things between you will then change and then you will be happier, you are not being realistic. Labels don’t change things.
10. Have you both left your past relationships behind? Is it too soon for either of you to be dating or getting into a relationship? Using someone as a rebound for a past relationship is not a nice thing to do, and usually doesn’t end well. It is also not the best way to move on, but more like a way to keep busy until the ex comes back. Either way, if there has not been enough time between relationships, they are not worth the risks involved. There is nothing wrong with taking it slow to ensure the past if left behind where it belongs.
Healthy relationships don’t happen by accident. Healthy relationships take work, and each member does their share. Unhealthy habits cause unhealthy relationships, so you want to address destructive behaviors right away before they become a habit. (Since we all know habits are very hard to break.) Here is a list of 8 habits that are often found in healthy relationships. How many does your relationship have?
8 Habits of Healthy Relationships
1. In healthy relationships, each member of the couple takes responsibility for their words and their actions. They do not resort to defensive behavior or pointing fingers back at their loved one. No couple is truly perfect, everyone makes mistakes, but when people accept their mistakes they are more likely to not repeat them.
2. A major healthy habit is to show appreciation and gratitude even for minor things. When you habitually feel grateful and appreciative, you do not take things for granted or develop a sense of entitlement. Lack of appreciation makes you feel unwanted and unloved.
3. Many couples get in the habit of talking, without really taking the time to listen to the one they love. In healthy relationships, the couple is in the habit of giving their loved one their full attention when they speak. They really listen, and give each other their undivided attention. They will pause the movie on television, turn off their cel phone, and look their partner in the eyes. No distractions, because what their partner has to say is important to them. This also helps the couples communication within the relationship because they both feel heard and that what they have to say is important to their partner.
8 Habits of Healthy Relationships
4. Healthy relationships seem to have a habit of showing kindness and that they care for one another all the time. Little things add up, and help to keep the spark of romance in the relationship. So when you getting gas on the way home from work and see your partners favorite candy bar or magazine, buy it if you can afford it. Pitching in when your partner is doing chores or running an errand for them really goes a long way in a relationship.
5. Making time for the one you love and making them a priority is a habit seen in every healthy relationship. If the two of you are not ready, willing, and able to make one another a priority, who will?
6. Another get habit to get into is to set goals together. We all should have our own personal goals, but our relationships should have goals as well. You could work together to complete a household project, you could save money together towards a trip you both want to go on. Working towards goals as a couple and achieving goals as a couple strengthen the foundation of a relationship.
7. A healthy relationship is built on trust, and to build that trust you need honesty and transparency. (Even little lies can create a lot of damage) If you wouldn’t do it or say it in front of your loved one, don’t do it behind their back. You won’t get away with it forever, and is what you are doing worth risking your relationship?
8. Not sweating the small stuff seems to become a habit in healthy relationships. It cuts down on the criticizing and complaining, and keeps a lot of the negativity and unnecessary drama out of relationships. Is what you are bitching about really worth it? Is it that big a deal? We are supposed to love our partner warts and all, and if it really is not that big of a deal, then don’t make it a big deal.
What are some healthy habits that are in your relationship? Tell us in the comments below!
Sometimes letting someone get their way in a relationship is good for the relationship. Each member of a couple should take one for the team once in a while. But always letting someone get their way is not healthy for a relationship. It creates an imbalance within the relationship and you can expect things to only get worse.
The one you love may not have started out as a selfish, self-centered person, but gradually, over time, those traits will present themselves. If you don’t make your own desires, wants and opinions important in your relationship, you cannot expect your partner to. It may feel as though you are putting yourself last as an act of love, but that is really not what you are doing.
Where is your love for yourself? If you do not love yourself, how can anyone else love you properly? It doesn’t have to be a tit for tat situation, but it important for both parties of a couple to have things go their way once in a while too. To create a healthy relationship, both parties have to have their needs met. When only one person is getting their way, it is not a healthy relationship.
Do They Always Get Their Way?
There is nothing wrong with giving of yourself, and wanting to make your partner happy. But your partner should also want to make you happy. If they have stopped reciprocating, they have become selfish when it comes to you. How can that be a good thing in a relationship? It’s not. So make a conscious effort to not always let your partner get their way. Remind them it is your turn to decide where to eat, where to go on vacation, or how to spend your free time.
You will know right away by their reaction whether they actually appreciate you letting them get their way by their reaction to it. If they are agreeable, then you know they have a sense of gratitude towards you. If not, then you know you helped create a selfish, self-entitled monster and it is time to stop feeding that monster.
If you have been pleased with yourself for always getting your way in your relationship, it is time you stop and check yourself. At some point, your partner is going to become tired of always being the giver. At some point they will also start being resentful towards the fact you are so selfish. So don’t think you will get away with it forever. At some point, the one you love may begin to tire of a relationship that always revolves around what you want. It is not too late to turn things around and put forth the same effort into making your partner happy as they have trying to make you happy.
Are you jealous of your ex’s new relationship? Do you see them together on social media, smiling and looking so in love it makes you feel sick to your stomach? Do you wonder how your ex moved on so quickly but you have not? Are you jealous that they seem so happy when you are nothing but miserable?
It’s not a good feeling when you are jealous, especially when you do not have a new relationship yourself. (And, of course, if you wanted your ex back). Don’t beat yourself up just yet. If your ex moved on to a new relationship really fast, it is certainly too soon and it is just a rebound relationship.
Rebound relationships are built on fantasy, not reality, and in most cases fall apart. When someone is not emotionally available, they have no business being in a new relationship. They are faking it to prove something to others or to themselves. That is why we caution people about getting involved with someone who has recently ended a relationship. This is also why they feel the urge to post tons of photos on social media of their new relationship. They want to show the whole world how happy they want them to think they are, so the pictures are all smiles, and orchestrated to make them look like the perfect, loving couple. So don’t be jealous of the person they are with now, because they have gotten sucked into an instant relationship with someone who truly isn’t emotionally available to them, no matter what they say or do.
Jealous of Your Ex’s New Relationship?
If you were hoping to get your ex back, and feel now there is no chance because they are with someone else, think again. You would be shocked to learn how many people get into new relationships to make their ex jealous or to make their ex think they have moved on. Their whole goal revolves around their ex, and it really doesn’t involve the new person. They could be anyone. They just needed someone to help them reach their goal of upsetting their ex. (You) So don’t do what they are doing.
Don’t use someone else to try and get back at your ex for revenge. It is not fair to the new person, and karma wise it is not a good thing to do. If you still want your ex back, just wait to see if their new relationship crumbles before you find someone else yourself. Don’t romanticize your past relationship with your ex and be jealous of all the things the new person is getting. Instead, remember the things about your ex that either drove you crazy or pissed you off. Remember how they lied all the time, or that they were inconsiderate, ungrateful, or disrespectful. Focus on the things you are glad to be rid of. Never lose sight of those things, because if your ex comes back, they bring all that stuff back with them.
If those same things made you miserable in the past, they will make you miserable in the future. Also, keep those traits in mind so you know exactly what you don’t want in your next relationship, and you will see those red flag behaviors going forward.
Justifying bad behavior in relationships does more harm than good. When you justify bad behavior in your relationship you are setting very dangerous patterns that will be hard to break down the line. If it goes on for too long, it will become impossible to change it.
Justifying bad behavior is really just an excuse to not address significant issues in your relationship because of fear. Yes, you may love this person, and of course you should have a certain level of fear of losing them. That is healthy in every relationship and what helps people keep their bad behavior in check. What is unhealthy is justifying mistreatment and toxicity when someone is afraid to speak up for themselves and stop the bad behavior.
A healthy, happy relationship needs to have boundaries, and you cannot be afraid to enforce them otherwise they don’t really exist in your relationship. That is like having a jail with no guards, and no locked doors. People use excuses such as “I am trying to be the bigger person”, when in reality, you are lowering your standards.
Justifying Bad Behavior in Relationships
If you are in an adult relationship, you should behave like a adult, and understand you are responsible for your bad behavior. So should your partner. So enough of that excuse. They know what they did was wrong, even if they are trying to defend it, and you need to stop allowing them a free pass.
Why should you be afraid to lose your partner for calling them out for their bad behavior if you partner is not afraid to lose you by behaving badly? Can you not see that they know your fear, and that because of that, they believe they can get away with acting a fool because you give them no consequences to their actions? The saying “What you allow will continue” is so true in relationships. You can justify your fears as much as you want, but the truth is the truth. Doesn’t your own situation prove that? How long are you going to stay in a state of denial?
You want to justify it by saying to yourself you are keeping the relationship together? Well, you are actually letting your partner damage your relationship so the two of you are working together to destroy your relationship. Is that what you really want? By justifying bad behavior, at some point you will find your relationship will reach the breaking point. Neither of you are respecting your relationship. You and your partner are not respecting YOU. A relationship without respect is a dysfunctional relationship. Plain and simple.
If your fear is making you behave badly, disrespecting yourself by allowing yourself to be mistreated, you need to create more balance. You need to both be afraid that bad behavior can end the relationship, not just one of you. The only way to do that is to address the bad behavior in the relationship instead of justifying it. And keep in mind, bad behavior is solved more so by actions, rather than words. Actions enforce boundaries more so than empty words that have no actions backing them up.
Imaginary relationships are often a far cry from reality. When we meet someone, it is common to imagine what it would be like to be in a relationship with them. We use our imagination to create a fantasy of what we would like that relationship to be like. You can take snippets of their personality and create an entire character from it.
Since you see them being helpful at work, for instance, you imagine how this person would be helpful around the house if you lived together. You imagine them offering to help without even being asked, just like they do at work. But you have to keep in mind this is all in your head. You made this shit up. You may think it is an accurate assessment based on what you know of them, but until you are in a relationship with them, you really have no idea what they are like. As a friend, someone could be there for you at the drop of a hat. But when you are in a relationship with them of a romantic nature, they may not treat you that way anymore. People treat their friends, co workers, lovers and family differently.
Your imagination may be putting a positive spin on a person who in truth you really don’t even know. You can become emotionally attached to someone that in truth is a figment of your imagination. You have not taken the time to get to know them, because you were too busy creating them to make an ideal parter for you. You are more than likely going to be very disappointed because you created the perfect partner, and have incredibly high unrealistic expectations of them. There is nothing wrong with having high standards, but it is not fair to put someone on a pedestal that they didn’t climb on themselves. You put them there, and now you have set them up to fall.
The other problem with these imaginary relationships is they are one-sided. In most cases the person you are daydreaming about, and imagining different romantic scenarios about, is not doing the same thing with you. They are oblivious to what you are doing, so they are not emotionally invested in this fantasy you created. You are, they are not. They may like you, but since they don’t know you , those feelings stay at a certain level. You, on the other hand, have been getting more and more emotionally invested in someone who your imagination created. You haven’t been on a date with them yet, so calm down.
You can’t get mad at them for spending time with other people because their time does not belong to you, you are not in a relationship. Your emotions are unreasonable because you let your imagination run wild. We speak to many people who believe they know everything about someone they have not even had a conversation with. They know exactly what kind of boyfriend or girlfriend they would make. They know how they would treat a partner. Do they really? No. They made it up. There is nothing wrong with a little daydreaming now and then, or trying to picture what so and so would be like as a romantic partner. But don’t let it get out of hand. You have to live the reality of the situation, and not get too emotionally invested in a fantasy that may never come to fruition.