The Good, The Bad and The Pretty of Motherhood: Travel & Tantrums, Mom-Guilt & Mascara, Shopping & (Not) Sleeping. Navigating my way through Motherhood! PrettyBelle is specifically designed for chic Mamas, so that you can live life beautifully.
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(This is real answers from my readers, I did not add any names, but you’ll know who you are)!
17. My most latest incident, she got bitten by a flea, and o boy, that made me feel like the most incompetent, horrible mother ever! How could I allow my child to be bitten by a flea! How could I allow a flea to be in my house!
16. I was zipping up my son’s sleeper and caught his skin at the top of the zipper. I didn’t even realize it at first, because it took him a few seconds to react. Then I couldn’t get it unzipped. It was probably all of four seconds, but it felt like forever and I felt like the worst mom in the world.
15. I feel mom-guilt daily. When I leave home at 5 to go to work. I’m not able to greet, dress or feed my little girl before she starts her day and it really eats away at me, because it feels like I’m failing her.
14. I was so sick with flu that I couldn’t even make lunch for my son who attends crèche, that I gave him chips from the previous night’s Nando’s takeaway. I felt so bad all day I couldn’t even have coffee because I had not packed a fresh proper healthy lunch for him. Also I forgot to pack the sauce sachets.
But he came home all smiles saying he and his best friend enjoyed the lunch and I must send chips more often!
13. Letting him have ice-cream on a Saturday morning, just so I can sleep for 5 more minutes…
12. My worst mom guilt was after having my second baby. I had to give most of my time to my new-born. I was not able to spend as much time with my 4 year old toddler. I don’t want him to think I’m not there for him or I don’t love him anymore.
11. My new-born takes all my time and I feel extremely guilty for not having enough time for my 5 year old who constantly has to beg for my attention.
10. Never a moment peace or time for myself as my youngest is stuck to me whereever I go… Hubby decided to take me out one morning (BECAUSE AFTERNOON AND NIGHTS ARE RESERVED FOR BABIES) while there my Mum called and I could hear my youngest screaming! She said he refuses to eat or drink anything since we left. I felt so guilty! As soon as our meal finished we rushed back home!
9.I’m a working mom, so when I get home I try and make the most of my time with my boy, but I always land up rushing and putting him to bed, so I can have 5 minutes to myself. Relax time = me + mom guilt.
8. It has to be when I purchase something for myself. Little spoils like a pair of shoes. And I start wandering off to the kiddies and take something for them instead.
7. My daughter fell off the bed when she was under a year. My husband came home from work and I cried because I felt super guilty.
6. My mom guilt is leaving the kids with my mom to go on a date night with hubby. I deal with it by assuring myself that the kids are fine and that I deserve a break. I make up for it by showing the kids more affection when I get back.
5. My worst mom moment is when my son fell over in the bath and swallowed some water. I worried all night! Google is not always your friend when you’re a mom as the different diagnosis make you worry even more.
4. My worst mom guilt is when I bumped her head taking her out of her car seat and when I am leaving her over the weekend at grandma so we can spend some quality time together.
3. Pretending to be really sick, when all I am is just exhausted. My kids feel so sorry for me and then I feel so guilty.
2. I’m guilty of serving the kids frozen dinners that are microwave. This usually happens when I come home late from work.
a (Little) story that every (guilt ridden) Mama needs to hear:
After having my first baby I decided to take a break from work to focus on raising my baby. Over the years I’ve had my guilt moments, but none exceeds going back to work. After three and a half years of staying at home, I went back to work and that meant my little Rosie had to go to kindergarten.
It wasn’t an easy decision as I was so attached to her I felt like a part of me was being cut out.
The first day I dropped her off at kindergarten, she didn’t even cry, she waved me goodbye and simply went on to join her teacher. To say I was heartbroken would be an understatement. I kept thinking maybe she didn’t love me anymore, she would form strong bonds with the people she spends her time at kindergarten and not me…
I wailed like a little kid in a candy shop, such guilt I’ve never felt before in my life.
A few weeks back they had a concert and I came back from work, and had to put together an outfit for her.
She wanted to be a butterfly, as tired as I was, I stayed up painting with her so she would look lovely.
A few days ago whilst dropping her off I had a chat with her teacher and she told me a conversation she had with my little Rosie:
Teacher: “Rosie your butterfly outfit is bright and beautiful, it looks so good on you!”
Rosie: “I know, my Mommy made it, even when she was tired, she said she would never let me down…”
And isn’t that what Motherhood is all about?
Helene (& Minki)
Ps: I wish I could give every single Mama a Baby Dove Care Pack because you all deserve it! See the winners on Facebook and Instagram!
Last week me and hubby went on an impromptu getaway (read hubby decided we NEED to get away NOW (either that or couples therapy) and booked our tickets to Cape Town. Most spontaneous thing I’ve done in 2,5 years.
Anyways it was great. No it was fantastic. We laughed, drank way too much wine, I got to sing out loud in the car (sorry hubby) and I realised that he’s actually (still) a funny guy and his eyes are (still) the most beautiful blue…
But there was a 3rd person with us on the road trip. Meet Mom Guilt.
Although I knew Minki was (more than) fine with granny, guilt was coming along for this fun ride.
The Mom Guilt Effect
While I’m sipping my wine… Guilt
While I’m on top of Cape Point… Guilt
When I see a Mom with her baby … Extreme Guilt (She travels with her baby, why can’t you)?
You are such a bad mom Helene! Bad, bad bad!
The cold shoulder…
Arriving home (after only 3 days), I was guilt-ridden and longed for my little angel. I jumped out of the car, presents flying everywhere. In my mind our reunion would look a little bit like Bachelor in paradise (you know the slow motion run toward each other, crying happy tears and embrace in a tender hug)?
Mmm… not so much.
Turning her head away – she said – Not you. Not you!?
Me, your Mom, the one who carried you for nine months, offered my once perky breasts to you for 13 months, cleaning your diapers (even the ones that go up to your back), co sleeping with you, the list goes on.
But oh no – NOT YOU!
Trying to hide my disappointment (and tears), I tried to keep my cool.
I’ve got the cold treatment the rest of the day, with Minki gravitating towards granny, grandpa and my sister. Even our dog got more love than me.
Late that night (after a horrible guiltridden day), she came to me and curled up on my chest. Her little arm creeping across the back of my neck: “Minki sommer hieso doedoe vanaand.” Translation: “Minki will just sleep here tonight…”
My heart melted and while she was falling asleep I cried…
But this time it was happy tears.
And when she was fast asleep, I curled up on hubby’s chest (perfectly in sync after our long awaited getaway) and realised why I just have to deal with the mom-guilt.
Do you also struggle with mom-guilt? Let me know if you do and how do you deal with that horrible feeling?