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A 38-year-old man training for his first-ever marathon assures his wife it has nothing to do with the impending arrival of their firstborn ..read more
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Boris Johnson’s pronouns have been officially changed to “lying twat” and “bellend” after he publicly exposed himself as a ..read more
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God has today been revealed a Remainer after rebellious government MPs published its hitherto secret “Eden Project” documents that ..read more
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Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster and creepy oddball Michael Gove has revealed that the Tory Party are currently drawing up plans to ..read more
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Leaked documents have revealed that Boris Johnson is getting a bit bored with Elisabeth Windsor after she fell so easily to his lies and ..read more
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Children’s TV icon Fireman Sam is being removed from a fire service’s promotional materials because his overt Welshness discourages ..read more
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Planet K2-18b, which scientists say contains water and gases compatible with the presence of life, is said to be ‘absolutely cacking it ..read more
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Downing Street has finally agreed to publish their detailed assessment of how a no-deal Brexit would impact the UK - it was a fortune ..read more
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The government's Ministry of Truth will publish an ‘updated’ version of the Yellowhammer report, which will confirm that we should ..read more
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Prime Minister Boris Johnson suffered a further embarrassing wardrobe malfunction earlier today when his pants caught on fire midway ..read more

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