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Hello hello hello! Am Sun Kawnure! Am bird! Like to scream scream scream! I lives with four kats! Every morning I takes one kibble from the kats to chew chew chew! Should I pay for kibble? Want birdseed? Do I give kats birdseed?

I think with four cats in the house, and they haven’t eaten you, they probably don’t mind that you get a piece of kibble every day. There’s enough to go around. But if you want to pay them back for it, just sing for them, a nice song every now and then that lets them know you appreciate them.

Now, they might enjoy playing with your birdseed, scattering it around, but your people might have a problem with that.

So, hey, give it a try. The people will get over it.

Will the two latest Wick books eventually be Kindle Unlimited books?

Short answer: maybe. Long answer: I don’t know.

Until recently, all my books were available in KU, but the editor decided now was a good time to go wide (releasing them into wide distribution to all booksellers) because, honestly, KU has really done a number on most writers’ income. I’m kind of upset at how big a dent it put in things. Where I get a few bucks from every book sold, with KU I get less than $0.0043 per page read. People download, but if they don’t get all the way to the end, I don’t get paid.

So. We took them out of KU. That doesn’t mean we won’t put them back at some point. I mean, it’s not like I *need* the money, but my royalties go for Toys for Tots and a couple other charities, and we’re not stuffing the back of the car with nearly as many toys as we used to, even though just as many people are getting the books.

You can be sure that if it turns out most of my readers were getting them using KU, we’ll put them back in.

Dear Max, our cat, Max, is now 19. My mother has been giving him cream. She says she uses it give him his medicine. I always heard that dairy was bad for cats. What do you think?

Cats are typically lactose intolerant, but if your cat isn’t having issues with it and it works to get the medicine into her, you might as well stick to it. And you gotta figure, at 19, if a kitty wants something, he should get it. There might be some farting, but as long as it doesn’t seem to bother him and he’s not having soft stools, an old guy should get what he wants.

I get steak every freaking night to get my meds into me. It works for me, and I love it.

The other night, the Woman turned to the Man and said, “Let’s go get Taco Bell, and on the way back we can pick up a steak for the cat.” The Man was all, WTF? but you can be sure, I got my steak.

It’s the perks of being old.

Just check the litter box. If all is well, let him have the cream.

Deer Max

how wonderfur was the Wedwink of the humans ..wez bet it was wonderfur..did they bring you any numnums from the party?

your furend from Canada

Oakley and Sugar

I didn’t get to go, but I’ve seen pictures, and doods…it was amazing and beautiful and AWESOME. I didn’t get any of the noms because the Woman thought they’d go bad in her purse (SHE HAD A PURSE, DOODS! It’s like the most girly thing she’s ever done!) but I heard about them. CHICKEN. They had some really good chicken and a bunch of other snacks, like cheese and fruit and tiny pies.

I can’t post any pictures (because they’re on a honeymoon and the bride should get to post pictures of herself first) but she was BEAUTIFUL in her dress, and she’s already super beautiful. And the Younger Human was wicked handsome in his suit and tie. THE WOMAN EVEN CRIED. Girly thing #2.

The most fun the People had was watching the Younger Human and his friends dance…they got a lot of video, and it was pretty funny. He didn’t just dance with his new wife, he danced with his buds, too, like with two of them at a time and there was some questionable gyrating going on. I think alcohol was involved.

We showed Buddah the pictures, and it clicked. He’s always thought of the Younger Human as The Other Dad, and now he’s excited because we have The Other Mom.

Seriously…I don’t know if there were ever two people more meant for each other. I can’t wait to see the official video of the wedding.

Got a question for me?
You can leave it in the comments below,
or drop me an email at askmaxmonday@gmail.com.

You can also find me on Facebook

The post Ask Max Monday: I’m Back! appeared first on Mousebreath Magazine.

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We would like to introduce Lucy, Benny. and their siblings Sadie and Ringo from the blog About the Cats (It’s All About the Cats).

Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourself and your human.

Lucy: This is Lucy. I run this household! I’m a four-year-old orange girl.

Benny: Wait! This is Benny. I will be helping out here as the voice of reason. I’m a gray-and-white tabby who is 18 years young. My mom is Rene and my dad is Jim. Both are nice.

Funny Farmer Felines: If you have any furry siblings, please introduce them too.

Lucy: There’s a really jerky cat–

Benny: Um, we have two other siblings. Ringo is a 4 year old tuxedo, and Sadie is a 10 year-old calico. Lucy and Sadie are not the best of friends.

Funny Farmer Felines: How did you all come to live together?

Benny: I was here many years ago with my dad. Then my mom moved in and brought another cat named Tucker. (He died four years ago.) Since then, my mom and dad adopted the other three kitties. Sadie was found by Rene’s parents as a three-week-old kitten, Ringo was adopted from a local shelter, and Lucy–

Lucy: I can speak for myself! I was left behind by my former person and lived outside for a year and a half. Then I found this house and they fed me, so I stuck around. Eventually I was brought inside.

Funny Farmer Felines: Tell us a little about the area where you live.

Benny: We live in southeastern Wisconsin. I don’t get outside to tell you much, but we do have nice views out of the windows!

Lucy: I’ve been around the neighborhood. It’s nice but it can get very cold and snowy.

Funny Farmer Felines: Do you have any nicknames?

Lucy: My mom calls me “skitty”. She says it’s a combination of street kitty. But mom, I’m not a street kitty anymore!

Funny Farmer Felines: What kind of mischief do you like to get into, either separately or together?

Lucy: Ringo and I love to play together! We zoom all around the house. And don’t tell anyone, but I love stealing people food.

Funny Farmer Felines: What made you open a blog?

Benny: Our mom started the blog when Sadie was a baby. She had just gotten a digital camera and took a lot of photos to share of Sadie. I don’t think that’s fair because no one took that many photos of me as a kitten.

Lucy: Our mom does some blogging events. One of her favorites was when Tucker participated in Meow like a Pirate Day as Tucker the Terrible.

Funny Farmer Felines: What is your greatest love and your biggest fear?

Benny: My greatest fear is the vet. My mom has to give me a pill beforehand because it scares me so much. Can you blame me–I go every 8 weeks and they’re always sticking me for blood! I love being pet and talked to, and I also love Temptations treats a lot.

Lucy: I love to play! It’s so much fun. I didn’t get to play as a kitten. My greatest fear is that my mom will toss me outside. She says I sometimes get a “feral” look in my eyes and I get very scairt. But she keeps telling me that I’m here for good.

Funny Farmer Felines: Does your human work or volunteer for a shelter, or make pet-related products?

Benny: Our mom buys yarn at thrift stores and crochets pet beds for the two local shelters here. She says she has donated more than 50 beds and counting. I’m a very good kitty and supervise her crocheting sometimes.

Lucy :No fair! Mom won’t let me near the yarn.

Funny Farmer Felines: If we were to ask your human mom and dad what they love best about you, what do you think they would say?

Benny: My mom and dad would say I’m a tolerant and patient kitty. I love all the other cats here. Sadie has calico cattitude–my mom says that a lot.

Lucy: My mom says that I an fiercely devoted to her and dad. And Ringo is a lovable guy, who can be a goofball at times.

Sadie and Ringo are a bit shy but you can get to know them better, along with chatty Lucy and Benny, by visiting their blog About the Cats.

The post Lucy and Benny Chat About the Cats appeared first on Mousebreath Magazine.

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Endearing photos of Terry, a shelter volunteer in Green Bay, Wisconsin, have gone viral. In the photos, he’s shown napping with the Safe Haven Pet Sanctuary’s cats, whom he comes to brush every day.

He doesn’t just brush them. He gets to know them, learning all their likes and dislikes. Wiped out from all that brushing, Terry falls asleep with the cats, who obviously adore him.

The photos were posted to the sanctuary’s Facebook page and quickly generated over 10,000 shares. When the shelter told him about his overnight fame, Terry said, “Now if all of those people would just donate $5 to help the kitties, that would make such a big difference!” He also suggested that we should all pray that he wins the lottery so that he can donate it to his cat friends.

“I would LOVE to be able to tell him that he helped raise money for the kitties next time he comes in,” the shelter said on Facebook. Terry’s fans can donate here. So far, Team Terry has raised over $500 for the shelter.

Terry’s getting an “Honorary Cat Grandpa” trophy from the shelter at their “Furry Tail Ball” on Wed., Nov. 17th. WTG, Terry! You can follow the shelter on Facebook.

The post Napping Cat Man Photos Go Viral appeared first on Mousebreath Magazine.

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Do I hear a “Heck No!” from more than a few cats out there?

For plus-sized cats who’d like to combine swimming fun with a treadmill workout, take a look at George the Himalayan’s solution: an underwater treadmill workout.

Owner Aimee Good of Urbandale Iowa, says folks think it’s a joke, but the workout offers the pawsibility that in five or six months, his thrice-weekly regimen will result in a loss of five pounds, leaving him a sleek 12 lbs.

Aimee erroneously claims that “You can’t really take a cat out for a walk.” We all know that Skeezix proved that’s just not true. But there are a few cats who don’t take to harness training, and George was such a cat.

At 17 lbs, he was at risk for diabetes, and his vet said he needed to shed some weight. George suggested that a Lion Cut might do it, but Aimee had other plans.

She put poor George on a strict diet and exercise regimen that included jogging and getting wet in an underwater treadmill for six minutes, three times per week.

Aimee says she’s a believer. “I was really hoping this would work for him, and it seems to really be going well.”

The post Fat Cat Slims With Underwater Treadmill appeared first on Mousebreath Magazine.

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Jailhouse stripes, or an orange jumpsuit? Those may be Bella’s fashion choices if she doesn’t curb her klepto ways.

Looks innocent enough, doesn’t she? But behind that “Who, Me?” exterior is a klepto cat who is now bringing home three or more purloined clothing items per night from her Vancouver BC neighborhood.

Her criminal career started spontaneously last year. She started with socks. A tube sock here, a knee-high there. By the end of the summer she’d accumulated half a trashbag full of stolen goods.

Once Bella got a taste of the criminal lifestyle, she expanded from socks to just about anything else…including unmentionables.

Investigators have not uncovered any eBay accounts or flea markets where Bella might be looking to fence her stash.

Her owner has posted signs trying to reunite victims with the goods, but hasn’t had any luck. Maybe they don’t want back some clothes with cat spit all over them.

The post Hold Onto Your Underpants if Bella’s in Town! appeared first on Mousebreath Magazine.

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I know. I’m late. It’s after 3 pm on Monday here, and I’m just getting around to this. But in my defense, there were no questions this week, and I was kinda waiting to see if there might be one or two last minute, as sometimes happens.

Alas, there were not.

Now, normally I don’t mind, it gives me a chance to talk about myself, and I really enjoy that, but there won’t be a column next week, because I won’t have my assistant to help me boot up the computer and type out my thinks. And ya wanna know why?

Of course you do.

It’s because of these two awesome people.

Next Sunday, the Younger Human is getting married to his Much Better Half! We’re all very excited about it, because she’s amazing and she obviously has good taste, and he’s super happy. Now, I don’t get to go see it happen because that involves going outside and for a long drive in the car, which I am not a fan of, but I’ll get to see pictures. And I get Emi for the weekend. She’s Diva Kitty Mom’s niece and she’s come here to feed us before, and we like her, so it’s a win all the way around.

So that’s why there won’t be a regular column next Monday. But if she remembers, the Woman will help me get something uploaded before she leaves, so y’all won’t forget I’m here.

Oh.

Change of subject.

I did a thing. Book 8 in The Wick Chronicles, JUMP.

It’s both fun and emotional, following the Emperor as he invents something spiffy and new, and then as he uses it to follow Hyrum on his trek across the country–which wasn’t the straightforward, happy little skip-fest they assumed.

You’ll laugh. You’ll cry.

And I’ve been asked more than once about the reading order of the whole series. So here it is:

The Wick Chronicles
The Emperor of San Francisco
Ozoo
Forked

Wick After Dark
The Space Between Whens
The Blessings of Saint Wick

Return of the Wick Chronicles
The Whens of Wick
The Book of Hyrum
Jump

Wow, that image is a lot bigger than I expected.

Here’s the thing to remember: it’s all one long series, broken into 3 parts. Parts 1 and 3 are YA-friendly, but part 2 is not. If you don’t like bouncy things, you can skip part 2 (though you’ll miss one hell of a love story and two weddings…and the fly at the reception) and jump back in with part 3. I don’t think it’ll be confusing.

Oh! And there’s gonna be a re-issue of the first book, The Emperor of San Francisco with a spiffy new cover!

Ok. Enough about me. I’ll be back September 24, so don’t forget to ask questions! And next week…maybe a picture of me! Something fun, anyway.

Got a question for me?
You can leave it in the comments below,
or drop me an email at askmaxmonday@gmail.com.

You can also find me on Facebook

The post Ask Max Monday: The Late Edition. Now With No Questions appeared first on Mousebreath Magazine.

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We finished work on the catio this week by installing a mezzanine shelf around the perimeter of the west and north sides:

We painted it black and put a carpeted mat on the top (rubberized on the bottom, carpet on top, designed for outdoor use). It was affixed to the enclosure using zip ties and a pair of wire ties The mat is anchored with zip ties.

The height puts them level with the bird feeders:

On the north side they have a view of the hiking trail below, and miles of wooded open space.

The mezzanine is also a great perch for ambushing a brother!

We also added a shelf to the tree.

Reno loves being able to climb the tree; he’s up and down it all day long:

The enclosure holds a litter box, scratching post, fuzzy blankie, and the small v.1 portable catio we had which holds a number of cat beds and provides shade.

They like to balance like circus elephants on the scratching post — here Homer is checking out installation of the new sign:

Materials:

We also had to build (and when I say “we” I mean hubby) a deck for it to rest on, which extended partly over a hillside bank, so there was some engineering involved. There is a lip built around the enclosure, both to keep it in place and to keep skunks and birds out (There’s a 2-inch gap at the bottom of the kennel which skunks had no problem squeezing through.)

Degree of difficulty: The enclosure itself was very easy. Assembling the panels only required tightening wing nuts on panel connectors. Quite a bit of thought went into enclosing the top around the tree branches, but the actual execution of that was easy.

Construction of the deck was a complex project that took longer than we thought it would, mostly because it was built on a hill.

It turned out better then expected and Homer and Reno are thrilled with it. We transport them from the house to the catio in their stroller. A future project might be a connecting tunnel to allow them to come and go freely from the house, but it would need to traverse a couple of decks, some steps, and go around the pool, so that plan may not come to fruition (hmmmm…. how ’bout a trans-pool lucite tube?)

A catio is a pawsome way to allow your cats to enjoy the outdoors safely. I highly recommend building one for your kittehs!

The post The Catio Project is Complete and Cats LOVE It! appeared first on Mousebreath Magazine.

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Hi max. I am pixels mom Karen. I need some help. Pixel is now on a liquid allergy med everyday for the next 6 weeks , in time it will be twice a week for life , and day 1 has not gone well. Can I get ideas on how to maybe make this not as crappy as it is. I will also add she does not like any wet food or table scraps. I have tried and tried. And there is no pill option and without it she is miserable. Please help .

I am the King of being difficult to medicate. I’d be better at telling Pixel how to get out of it (which involves teeth and growling and pooping on people.) But there are two things that I’ve heard work.

1-squish the kitty. The wigglier, the harder you squish (but, you know, don’t hurt her of course.) If you have help, hold her kinda like a football and squish her to you then have someone else squirt the medicine in her mouth. If you don’t have someone to help, sit on the floor and squish her between your legs and then squirt. You probably know this, though… She’s not gonna like it but…

2-right after medicating, offer something she really likes. Since she prefers dry food, maybe a handful of a type she enjoys but doesn’t eat routinely. For me, this would be Fancy Feast dry. We don’t get it as regular food but once in a while we get it as treats and enjoy that a heck of a lot.

If that doesn’t work…well, sometimes even cats who don’t like wet food or people food will like human baby food, turkey in particular (just make sure you get a kind that doesn’t have onions or onion powder in it.) If it seems like she likes it, she could learn to associate the medication with getting the tasty treat. Or if you can mix it with the baby food, that saves the bother of giving her the meds.

Steak works for me…every week the people grill a steak and cut it into thin strips and I get that twice a day with a seed tucked away inside a piece, and after I scarf that down I get a couple more seed-less pieces.

Is there a version that could be rubbed into her ears? Your stabby guy might know of a compounding pharmacy that could make it if it’s not generally available.

I know this isn’t all that helpful but it’s all I got. Hopefully others will have better ideas to make it a more pleasant thing for her.

Max, I gots the TV on right now and there’s a woman named Judge Judy on. Do you ever watch her? She reminds me of you.

DOOD. Harsh.

I don’t watch her because she scared the boogers out of me.

I like her on talk shows, though. But her court show? She’s so freaking tough that I get nervous and leave the room.

I like that in a woman.

Okay, Max, I watched a few episodes of your beloved Doctor Who. I think it was the last one; grumpy guy with the eyebrows. I enjoyed what I saw, but often could not understand him. How do you follow along?

Two words, dood: closed captioning.

We usually watch each episode twice, once as is and the second time with captioning on so we can catch everything. After a while, though, you get used to it and can understand even with his burr.

I really liked the grumpy guy with the eyebrows. People like to pick “their” Doctor, and he’s mine.

Well, for now. The next one might be my new favorite. She probably better be, since I’m going to marry her.

Got a question for me?
You can leave it in the comments below,
or drop me an email at askmaxmonday@gmail.com.

You can also find me on Facebook

The post Ask Max Monday: Suggestions for Pixel, Please appeared first on Mousebreath Magazine.

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We are pleased to have an unusual and interesting interview today with our new friend Gidget Bluesky and our old friend Honey P. Sunshine, who went to the bridge May 29, 2015.

Funny Farmer Felines: Please introduce yourself and your human.

Gidget Bluesky: My name iz Gidget Bluesky. I will be 4 years old on September 18. I am a Virgo. I am a gray and creamy white tabby cat. My belly iz the creamy part. I live with my mommie, Carla, and the Honey Sunshine Spirit Cat.

Funny Farmer Felines: If you have any furry siblings, please introduce them too.

Honey Sunshine Spirit Cat: Hi effurywun, iz me the grate Honey Sunshine. I lived with mommie before Gidget. I am a Cancer and mommie iz a Capricorn. I don’t have a fursuit anymore so I fly around up by the ceiling over the sofa. Gidget can see me. Sometimes I visit mommie on the bed at night. Mommie misses me lots so I have to visit her lots. Our hearts are joined furever.

Funny Farmer Felines: How did you all come to live together?

Honey Sunshine Spirit Cat: I came from Happy Tails in Sacramento and lived with mommie fur 15 years before I had to leave. Mommie and me were the best of furrends and soul mates.

Gidget Bluesky: I came from Friends Forever in Auburn California. Mommie searched fur me after the Honey cat had to leave. She wanted a girl tabby cat that wuzn’t a baby and I had to be a compatible astrological sign fur mommie. That wuz impurrtant fur mommie and me so that we could live together forever. Mommie wuz very, very sad when Honey Sunshine left. Her heart wuz broken for a very, very long time. I helped heal her heart.

Funny Farmer Felines: Tell us a little about the area where you live.

Gidget Bluesky: We live in Sac-of-tomatoes in a condo that haz big, big, redwood trees and floor to ceiling windows and there iz burds and sqwerrles efurrywhere. This summer we even had baby ducks on our deck because the mommie duck laid her eggs on the roof. My mommie had to rescue them when they landed on our deck trying to get down to the mother duck on the ground. They kind of freeked me owt because they were running around peeping all ofur the place!

Funny Farmer Felines: Do you have any nicknames?

Gidget Bluesky: Mommie calls me bubbie, that’s a chewish term of endearment fur grandmother. It wuz Honey’s nickname too. We are not chewish, we are Catlick but mommie wuz born near New York city and grew up eating lox and bagles so there are things that are hardwired into her weird little brain.

Funny Farmer Felines: What kind of mischief do you like to get into?

Honey Sunshine Spirit Cat: I was the mischievous one. I liked to drop my toys into the toilet and play soccer with my ping pong balls. I was an expurrt ball handler.

Gidget Bluesky: I’m not really that mischievous though one time I chewed through the innerweb wire in the closet and made the innerweb go dead. I also like to take trips on my majic-car-pet after eating a little catnip.

Funny Farmer Felines: What made you open a blog?

Honey Sunshine Spirit Cat: I started blogging after I met the grate Jeter Harris, Skeezix and Daisy the Curly cat on Catster way back. Jeter talked me into starting a blog.

Gidget Bluesky: When I got here I had to have my own blog so efurrywun could see how purrty I am. I am currently werking on photos for my modeling purrtfolio.

Funny Farmer Felines: What is your greatest love and your biggest fear?

Gidget Bluesky: My greatest fear is that we run out of cat treats and my greatest love is cat treats.

Honey Sunshine Spirit Cat: My greatest love wuz my mom and my greatest fear wuz having to leave my mom.

Funny Farmer Felines: How would you describe yourself?

Honey Sunshine Spirit Cat: I was totally an extrovert and totally a sooper snoopervisor. I liked to be where the action was. I loved to smell everybody’s shoes and get into everybody’s purse when people came over.

Gidget Bluesky: I am totally an introvert. I hide when people come over.  I don’t hide from my mom though. I hang out with my mom all day long when she is home. We have long conversations, me and mommie. I am usually sprawled out in the middle of the living room floor or napping up on my new pedestal. I will still go and nap unner the bed cause it make me feel secure.

Honey Sunshine Spirit Cat: Not me, I was sprawled all over the bed, or the sofa, or in my hammick by the window werking on my furtan.

Funny Farmer Felines: If we were to ask your human mom what she loves best about you, what do you think she would say?

Honey Sunshine Spirit Cat: Mom loved my easygoing spirit. I was very laidback. Go with the flow.

Gidget Bluesky: Mom loves my beautiful green eyes and my fierce individualism. I do what I want when I want and if I don’t want to I don’t. I always ask “what’s in it fur me?”

We love checking all the blogs efurry morning. It makes mommie’s heart happy.

Funny Farmer Felines: We have enjoyed being reminded of blogging days with Honey P. Sunshine. Honey has rarely posted on her blog since she had to leave, but it was nice to go back and read of her life before the bridge. It was such fun learning about you, Gidget Bluesky, and how Honey is still with you and your mom. We look forward to getting to know you even better.

We are still open to learning of new cats on social media, Cat Scouts, blogging cats (all cats have a story!) to interview.  Contact us.  (We contact bloggers as we come across them but there are so many of you and only 5 of us.

The post Gidget Bluesky and Honey Sunshine appeared first on Mousebreath Magazine.

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I don’t know who he is; I don’t follow football. (He’s the highest paid running back in the NFL.) But he’s my new favorite football player. Todd Gurley loves cats.

In an interview with ESPN’s Sam Alipour, in response to “What would you list as your dislikes?” he revealed that he hates dogs and loves cats.

“And I hate dogs. I love cats, though. Cats are so cool. Actually, I’m probably gonna get some this year.”

Gurley said he’s going to get at least two cats because “how would I feel if I was a cat and someone bought me and just left me by myself  for like 20 years?”

When asked if he’ll be a Crazy Cat Lady, the running back said yes, he’ll be “Cat Dude.” Move over Jackson Galaxy, there’s a new Cat Guy on the block!

The post NFL Star a Self-Professed Cat Guy appeared first on Mousebreath Magazine.

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