A twenty-seven-year-old Cork
man was rushed to hospital early this morning suffering from what doctors have
diagnosed to be a severe case of inferiority complex issues.
Emergency services were called
to a house in Togher on the south side of the nation’s southern capital city at
around 2.00am when the man’s partner noticed him behaving oddly.
“The Weirdest Thing Ever”
Sylvia Murphy, the long-time
partner of Dennis O’Shea was interviewed on Cork’s Red Fm radio this morning.
“It was the weirdest
thing ever.” She told presenter Neil Prenderville.
“Dennis was just sitting
there enjoying a can of Murphy’s Stout when he suddenly said, ‘Do you know what
Girl? I think we should take one of those weekend break things and go to Dublin.
I hear ’tis nice.’
“I nearly fell off the
settee, I did Neil.” She told the Nation’s number-one radio host.
“I mean buoy, why would
anyone want to go to Dublin, even for a weekend? What’s in Dublin that we don’t
already have bigger and better here in Cork?” She asked.
“That was bad enough.”
She continued before going on to describe how lately she had begun to notice
her partner acting strangely.
“He’s begun to come out
with stuff like ‘Patrick’s Street is like a smaller version of Grafton Street
and I could murder a pint of Guinness.’ The worst thing was the other night I
came home early from work and caught him watching FairCity.
I really am very worried
Buoy,” she sobbed down the line.
A spokesperson for Cork’s
University Hospital Dr Finbar Lynch confirmed that they were treating O’Shea
for a suspected inferiority complex.
“It’s not the worse case
we have seen, as such this patient is still at the doubting stage.” He
told the media. “It normally manifests itself with the early signs of Cork
people sometimes thinking that other places might be as good as Cork. We refer
to that as early onset but if not treated promptly it can develop into what we
call a full-blown inferiority complex.”
Dr Lynch explained “Full-blown IC is
where Cork people actually begin to believe those other cities are bigger and
better than Cork. That needs major and intensive therapy to cure,” he said.
Danger to the Public
Dr Lynch did admit that there
is a moderate danger to the public. ” “Inferiority Complex issues can
be contagious.” He told us.
sufferers are left undiagnosed they can contaminate others through simple
social interaction. Like, for example, if they are out for a pint and
compliment the DART or LUAS systems. It can spread like wildfire then.
It’s lucky we caught this case
MeanwhileinIreland News has
learned that Cork City Council in a bid to eradicate any further outbreaks is
to instigate a loudspeaker playing of looped versions of On the Banks and The
Boys of Fairhill.
Shandon Bells will also be
rung continuously until the danger has passed.
If you are from Cork and have been affected by the above the Samaritans can be contacted on Freephone 116 023 and ask for a native Cork speaker.
Fine Gael’s plans to rebuild
Nelson’s Pillar on Dublin’s
were outlined by the Taoiseach at question time in the Dáil yesterday.
The Ceann Comhairle was forced
to temporarily suspend yesterday’s afternoon sitting after angry exchanges
between the opposition and government TDs broke out.
The Ceann Comhairle took his decision after extremely unparliamentary language was exchanged across the floor of the house after the Taoiseach announced plans to rebuild Nelson’s pillar on its original site in O’Connell Street Dublin.
The Taoiseach Leo Varadkar had
announced to the Dáil that his party in government would support the proposal
to rebuild the Nelson commemorative pillar which was destroyed in 1966.
Speaking to the Dáil the
Taoiseach said, “Nelson’s Column stood on this site since 1809 when it was
erected to commemorate Lord Nelson’s victory over the French and Spanish at
This was a great British
victory; one which Dublin City Council felt should rightly be remembered and
honoured by the people of Dublin.”
‘We Were All British then‘
“We need to realize that
we were all British then and rightly so,” the Taoiseach continued.
“As we go forward with
Brexit, we here on the British Isles need to remember and be proud of our
shared heritage with Britain — especially when we can get one over on the
The Taoiseach went on to point
out some of the diplomatic advantages to Ireland by rebuilding the Column.
“It is imperative to Ireland’s economic sustainability and economic growth that we remain within the EU — that cow still has a bit more milk in her. However, we as a nation must be pragmatic and keep in with the Brits.”
What better way for a small nation to prosper but to play both sides against the middle?” he asked the house.
There was approval from the government
benches, with some deputies very vocal in their criticism of the O’Connell
Street Spire which was erected in 2003 on the site of Nelson’s column.
Deputy Fergus Mc Mahon (FG
Wexford) said, “We replaced a monument to a great man with an overgrown
knitting needle. We as a nation should be ashamed of ourselves. It’s time we
brought back a sense of pride in our heritage.”
Sinn Fein Reaction
Surprisingly Sinn Fein TDs
were also in favour of the proposal with one party spokesperson saying, “we
are all for the idea.
Since the implementation of
the Good Friday agreement and the subsequent peace process, some of our members
have been growing bored with nothing to do.” The spokesperson said.
“The re-building of
Nelson’s column will give them a focus; we hope the planning and carrying out
of the inevitable blowing-up again of the column will take their minds off our
dismal performance in the polls.” She continued.
The timescale for the removal
of the spire and re-erection of the column is expected to be in the region of
Paddy Power Bookmakers are
giving odds on the how long the new column will last once erect.
A detailed opinion survey has revealed that more than half of those surveyed in South County Dublin would never consider moving to Limerick.
The results of the in-depth survey carried out on behalf of RTE shows that 71% of those surveyed in South Dublin believed that Limerick is not a city they would move to.
The poll carried out for the RTE Claire Byrne Live Program set out to discover Dublin People’s secondary choice of hometown. A sample base of 10,000 South Dubliners was polled by market research group Target Research.
The results which allowed for relevant comments showed interesting findings among those who might consider leaving South Dublin.
I’d feel safer in Syria
Out of the 71% of negative respondents, 48% polled said that they would fear for their safety.
“That’s the place they call ‘Stab City’ isn’t it? I’d feel safer in Syria” commented Fiachra O Neill a thirty-year-old Foxrock native.
“I was thinking it might be nice, what with all those Munster rugby types,” was an opinion of Cynthia Murphy (29) of Ballsbridge. “Until Alison told me they don’t do Starbucks. I mean, honestly no cappuccino, seriously? That’s a big No-No.”
A Lovely Place to Visit
“I did a stag night there once,” Trevor O’Brien (31) of Dalkey wrote. “It was exciting — like an adventure weekend on Mount Etna. You know it’s fairly calm but you are constantly waiting for the eruption.
“The lads in the squash club couldn’t believe that I actually did it but I’m like that, adventurous, next year I’m going shark diving. Would I live there? I’m afraid it has to be a NO for me.”
The poll also revealed that fashion consciousness among South Dubliners was a dividing factor in their decision.
65% of the negative comments from female respondents related to living in a city where women do the weekly shop wearing pyjamas.
However, 42% of men thought that wearing a bullet-proof vest was “cool.”
The survey also revealed that of the 29% of South Dubliners that would consider moving to Limerick most of these positive responses came from two distinct groupings. Firstly, newly qualified criminal legal-aid lawyers, hoping to kick-start their careers and secondly, architectural students studying urban decay.
Reaction in Limerick
Surprisingly reaction to the survey among Limerick people was muted, with most Limerick citizens we spoke to ‘not giving a damn.’
“Ah Shur, we’re fairly used to it Sham,” was the reaction of Limerick man Seaney Sweeney of Garryowen. If it’s not RT-fecking- E, doing a bloody survey, its fecking TV3 doing another shagging gangland crime documentary.
That young-fella Paul Williams must own fecking shares in the place. Anyway, most of the trouble in the city is confined to the two outer suburbs — Clare and Tipperary.” he half-joked.
Neither the Mayor nor any other members of Limerick City Council were available for comment — they are all in Kilkee for the summer.
A fifty-nine-year-old Limerick City
man has come out on social media describing his surprise at discovering the
‘girl’ he hoped to marry was actually a Nigerian man.
Thomas Kinsella (59) of Sallybank Road on the North side of Limerick told of his shock and dismay after travelling to
Lagos to meet
Cynthia a ‘girl’ he had met online.
“We had been chatting online for over six months,”
he wrote. “Then I decided to surprise her by travelling to Nigeria with a
present for her birthday.”
“I had given her presents before,” he wrote. “But bank cash transfers are very impersonal, this time I wanted to watch her face light up when we actually met for the first time.
“Anyway, a ‘girl’s’ twenty-fifth birthday is a big occasion; I didn’t want her to celebrate it alone.”
A retired Limerick City Litter Warden, Kinsella first made
contact with Cynthia when she sent him a friend request on Facebook.
“We started chatting and sending photographs straight
away. She looked lovely, all bubbly and full of fun wearing her bikini on the
Kinsella told social media how when after a week of contact
with Cynthia she had a stroke of bad luck.
“It was terribly sad, just as we were getting to know
each other her poor mum developed cataracts and needed an operation. Seemingly
operations are expensive in Nigeria,
so I offered to help pay for it.”
A Litany of Bad Luck
A close reading of Thomas’s posts both on Facebook and Twitter lists a litany of ill-fortune which befell Cynthia.
Her brother fell off his scooter and was out of work for three months. Cynthia herself lost her job as a kindergarten teacher. But according to Thomas, he was more than happy to send her money.
As he put it, “Shur, the pension is fairly good and
while it did put a dent in my credit union account — if you can’t help out the
love of your life then who can you help out?”
Surprise her with a ring
“Anyway,” Thomas told his social media friends.
“I thought it would be lovely to fly out to Nigeria — as a surprise for her and
‘pop the question’ on her birthday.
I was able to figure out where she lived from the background
in some of her photographs. So I bought the ring and booked the flight.”
“Jaysus! I was the one who got the surprise. I can tell
you that for nothing. There he stood at the door in the see-through negligee I
sent. No wig, unshaven and a willy on her the size of Delaney’s donkey. Gave me
the fright of me life, it did. His name wasn’t actually Cynthia, but Victor”
A Happy Ending
While Thomas’s social media post did attractive some
negative comments, many readers expressed delight that both Thomas and Victor
have got over the initial ‘hump’ in their relationship and have decided to
‘make a go of it.’
Thomas and Victor are now living together happily in Lagos where Victor continues
his internet business.
On Victor’s advice and to avoid bank transfer fees, Thomas
who hasn’t yet opened a Nigerian bank account, has transferred his savings and
pension into Victor’s account so that they both can afford to live happily ever
A Temple Bar Pub has claimed that their notorious €18 Pint of Guinness is the ‘best in town’ and well worth the price – it’s also the most expensive pint in Europe.
Joey Flynn, manager of the
Auld Oscar Wilde pub in Dublin’s
Temple Bar area was adamant today in defending his pub’s pricing policy.
Flynn made his comments after a group of American tourists complained at being charged €18 for a pint of Guinness.
“We simply charge what the market will bear,” he told reporters.
“Anyway, we want tourists to appreciate the authentic Irish experience of paying twice or three times what something is worth. It sort of reminds us of the good old Celtic Tiger days.”
Meanwhile in Ireland News sent
a team of investigative reporters to the Oscar Wilde last Saturday and can now
report as follows.
Oldest Pub on Essex Street
While the Auld Oscar Wilde was only opened during 2007 it can justifiably claim to be the oldest pub on Essex Street which plays The Dubliners’ song ‘The Rare Ould Times’ on a continuous audio loop.
In addition to the above as
Joey Flynn points out while The Dubliners never actually played or even drank
there they could have.
‘Best Pint of Guinness in Dublin‘
Flynn told our reporters. “Ok so we probably don’t clean or service the drink-lines quite as often as we should and the glass-washer hasn’t been working properly for a few years.
But in all fairness the Yank tourists and the Brits on stag nights really can’t tell the difference — to them if it’s black and has a head on it, it’s grand.”
The Auld Oscar Wilde is not a
typical local Dublin
pub — in fact, you’d be hard pushed to find a typical Dub within five miles of
it but they do make the effort.
Joey Flynn told us,
“every year we hold interviews for bar staff in both Latvia and Poland. We try
to find typically Irish looking girls and we give them a pamphlet with four or
five Irish phrases to read on the flight over.
You’d be surprised at how
quickly they learn ‘go raibh maith agat,’ and ‘céad míle fáilte’ and of course
‘that will be €18 please.”
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
Flynn is very proud of the extensive bar-food menu on offer. “We go all out,” he told us.
“You’d be spoilt for choice between traditional bacon and cabbage served with Mrs Wilde’s soda bread. Or of course, you might go for the cabbage and bacon option or even the soda bread sandwich of either bacon or cabbage at only €15 per person. It really is up to the customer.” He added.
In the interest of open,
honest and fair reporting and using the highest journalistic standards, we
spend over five hours in the Auld Oscar Wilde sampling the Guinness.
Yes, €18 for a pint might be considered a bit high for those not using the Meanwhile in Ireland corporate credit card. But after the fourth pint, the Guinness did begin to taste reasonable and once you learn a bit of Latvian the bar staff are exceptionally friendly.
All eight members of our
investigative team wholly enjoyed this discover Temple Bar experience.
Meanwhile in Ireland News would like to thank: manager Joey Flynn, barmaids, Helga, Aija, Dagnija and of course Dymek the Bodhran player.
Ireland is a beautiful island that is endowed with a rich heritage, hilly topography with a myriad of rivers and plains, and amiable people. The island is known throughout the world due to a plethora of castles.
The island is home to the world’s oldest pub and birthplace of the famous series “Game of Thrones” has several attractive sites to offer all kinds of travellers.
Ireland is a beautiful and mystical place to visit and live. Here are a few places that will make your holiday in Ireland memorable.
1 – The Cliffs of Moher
The Cliffs of Moher will definitely steal your heart. They’re a must-see, most natural attraction in Ireland.
The Cliffs are beautiful both in the cloud and the sun. If you want to make most of the Cliffs of Moher experience, then stay in the nearby smaller towns. This will ensure you’re closer to the cliffs and away from the crowds.
However, the place tends to be overcrowded during the summer. The Cliffs of Moher are busiest between 11 am to 4 pm.
You can, therefore, do your timing well and visit when not crowded. The ideal time to visit is between April and September.
2 – Dublin City
Catch a glimpse of this beautiful city infused with modern vibrancy and old world charm.
The city is divided into south and north sides by the River Liffey.
It’s a small but mighty city. It’s the home of Guinness Storehouse, medieval churches, Trinity college, and a city of literature.
Most of the world’s best musicians and writers were born in Dublin city. They include U2, James Joyce, among many others. More so, you will enjoy delicious cuisines in various restaurants located in the city.
The city’s beauty- whether natural or humanmade- is undeniable.
3 – Killarney National Park
Killarney National Park lays in 10,000 hectares of land covered with a beautiful lake and spectacular mountain scenery.
The park is inhabited by natural species including here of red deer. There are three lakes: Lough Leane, Upper Lake, and Muckross lake, which are all interlinked to make a quarter of the park.
The lakes are interlinked at the Meeting of the Waters which is a popular tourist site. Although these lakes are interlinked, they each have a unique ecosystem.
4 – Dingle Peninsula
The dramatic beauty of the Dingle Peninsula is unmatched, making it one of the best places to visit in Ireland. Surrounded by lofty mountains, sandy beaches, rugged cliffs, and rolling hills, the Dingle Peninsula is a charming tourist site.
The meandering country lanes, cosy-thatched pubs, and endless skies will make you understand why National Geographic once describe it as “the most beautiful place on earth.”
There are jewellery shops located on Green Street, which contains everything you would need for decoration.
The Dingle’s charm and rich Irish culture make it the best Ireland points of interest.
5 – The Rock of Cashel
The Rock of Cashel is a stunning and archaeological site that attracts visitors throughout the year. It’s a collection of medieval buildings and houses museum.
The hall includes exhibitions and an audio-visual show. This ancient royal site houses a castle, High Cross, a gothic cathedral, and a round tower.
If you want to have a great experience, visit between May and October with the best timing being 9 am – 7 pm.
6 – Sligo
Are you an outdoor lover? If yes, then Sligo is the ultimate destination. The compact county is endowed with spectacular landscapes to explore.
You can opt to take a forest walk or challenge yourself by hiking through Ben Bulben. The beaches at Easkey and Strandhill has the best waves for surfing. Sligo is also the best place to enjoy a seaweed bath.
The Bottom Line
From ancient cathedrals, famous castles, rugged mountains, meandering rivers, and plains, to underground caves, Ireland offers a lot of landscapes to explore.
If you are hungry for history and adventure, then Ireland ticks all your boxes!
When you are in Ireland, remember that the country has favourable gaming and lottery rules and regulations. Lottery games are available online where you can play and check the Lotto results at the comfort of your couch.
The budget airline Ryanair shocked the aviation and travel
industry today when it announced the introduction of charges for customers
The move is designed to save the airline costs and increase
Company spokesperson Orla O’Liodan spoke at a press
conference at Dublin
Airport today and told
reporters. “This is designed to fit into our new Fast Turn Around
protocols,” she said, then continued.
“We are targeting a sixty-second turn around for all
aircraft embarkation and disembarkations. That’s thirty-seconds for passengers
to get off the plane and further thirty-seconds for new passengers to get on.
If they can’t achieve that — well that’s it, we’ll leave without them.”
‘Not a Charity‘
“However,” she continued, “we realise that
wheelchair passengers may take that little bit longer to board so we are
allowing them a minute and a half. But they have to pay that bit extra for the
privilege. It’s only fair! After all, we are not a charity you know?”
It is believed that the new ‘Speedy Boarding’ will involve passengers booking their own tickets, handling their own check-in and then queuing up to race to the plane as soon as it touches down.
Passengers will also be asked to clean the aircraft prior to landing at their destination.
M/s O’Liodan also referred to wheelchairs weighing over
“If passengers choose to use a wheelchair and of
course, that is strictly up to them but they should be aware that anything over
10kg results in an increased cost to the Airline of .00005 cents per passenger.
“And as I said we are definitely not a charity.”
Ryanair also intends
to introduce a surcharge for passengers who don’t buy the Ryanair onboard
“We go to the trouble of preparing them; it’s only fair
that passengers buy them.” M/s O’Liodan explained, then concluded,
“We’re not a charity you know,” again.
Flight magazine journalist and travel writer Sam Steinbridge
commented. “Personally I think it’s a great idea. I mean everybody laughed
when they introduced the coin-operated oxygen masks and the whole one-man
flight crew idea. But in fairness to Ryanair, it did increase profit margins.
They are not a charity you know!”
Ryanair share prices on both the London and Dublin stock exchanges rose significantly
today as both markets reacted to the news.
In scenes reminiscent of last months announcement that the
airline had negotiated a twenty-four-hour shift cycle with its pilots millions
were added to the already massive fortunes of the Ryan family and the company
CEO Michael O’Leary.
CEO Michael O’Leary was not at the main press conference but did appear at the end to pose for photographs holding the usual blow-up Ryanair model planes.
He also took time out to make disparaging remarks about the British and Irish governments, Brexit, the Aviation Authority, the Pope, RTE, trade unions and the Irish weather.
Limerick based curate Fr Joe
O’Brien was shocked to hear today that he is not considered to be ‘one of the
The revelation occurred when
Fr Joe sat alone in his local pub waiting for ‘the lads’ to join him.
“I overheard two visitors
up from Cork talking about me and as I was in civvies they didn’t realise it
was me.” The guitar playing, under-fifteen football coach told us.
“To be honest I was a bit annoyed. I mean, I know how the lads appreciate meeting up with me for a few pints after work.
“Yes, I realise as a priest I have never been married and I don’t have to worry about a mortgage or the cost of keeping the car on the road or housework. But in fairness, the lads do enjoy my advice on those kinds of things.”
Joe the Man
Fr Joe — who prefers to be
called Joe the Man — first came to Limerick five years ago. As a young priest
straight out of the seminary he quickly involved himself in the parish.
“Some of my classmates
specialised in the ‘looking after the old women’ ministry but I felt that the
Father Trendy, one of the lads type of priests was more my calling.”
An expert at telling clean
jokes, Father Joe also trains the under-age side in the local football club. He
not only runs the parish youth-club but also organises the Thirty Something’s
Singles trip to Medjugorje each year.
The Lads can get Embarrassed
“I normally join the lads
for a few pints every night,” he continued. “I don’t drink myself but
I just drop in and even just sitting there with a glass of orange it’s amazing
the help I can be.
Some of the lads are
embarrassed to ask marital questions or they might have some sort of financial
worries so I normally just steer the conversation in that direction.
And of course, the whole
abortion debate was where I could really shine.
“No, I have to say, the
lads really enjoy my company — but it is funny how they all have to leave as I
Fr Joe went on to tell us
about the Thirty Something’s Singles Club he set up.
“I felt that the parish
needed a place where young men and young women could meet.
So far it’s been a great
success. We nearly had a full table at the last quiz night and next week we
hope to have another member join us. That should bring the attendance up to
The Bright Lights of Knock
Unfortunately, the Medjugorje
trip had to be cancelled. But that was solely due to St Mary’s having their
trip to Knock on the same weekend. Who can compete with the bright lights of
Knock?” he asked.
While disappointed at not
being considered ‘one of the lads’ Fr Joe told us “it just means I need to
try harder. Perhaps learn a few more folksongs?”
A spokesperson for Limerick’s
Bishop was unavailable for comment.
A Novel and unique defence was
put forward in Limerick District Court last Friday.
Thomas (Shorty) McCarthy (32) of 22 O Brien’s Park on the Southside of the city stood accused of starting a fight outside a city-centre pub last February.
The Defendant pleaded guilty
to engaging in a fracas with four bouncers outside Riddle’s Bar O’Connell Street.
Legal-Aid solicitor for the
defendant, Gillian Carroll told Presiding Judge Donal Lowry that while her
client wished to plead guilty there were mitigating circumstances that needed
to be considered prior to sentencing.
Judge Lowry was handed a copy
of a psychiatric report prepared on the defendant by the Health Board.
“You will see from the
report,” she told the judge that my client has been diagnosed with an
acute case of Small-Man syndrome.
“My client — who stands at five-foot-nothing — has always been vertically challenged and as such has always been the subject of ridicule by his peers.
“This has left him with the classic symptoms of Small Man Syndrome.”
The solicitor explained to the court that Small-Man or Napoleon Complex is a theorised inferiority complex normally attributed to people of short stature. It is characterised by overly-aggressive or domineering social behaviour.
hypothesis argues that in competitive situations when males receive cues that
they are physically out-competed the Napoleon complex psychology kicks in.
Physically weaker males at
times adopt alternative behavioural strategies to level the playing field,
including showing indirect and direct aggression.
“My Client,” Carroll
continued, “was out socialising with friends on that night. They were, in
fact, celebrating his successful completion of a JobSearch enrolment
The Judge was told that the
defendant had in total failed to hold down fourteen jobs over the preceding two
“He took the successful filling out of the form as a tremendous achievement and may have had too much to drink.”
‘Lost the Plot‘
When refused entry to the pub,
I’m afraid my client ‘lost the plot’ and attacked the four bouncers.
He also admits to disturbing the peace, throwing a bottle at the pub door and urinating in a garda patrol car.
However, I would ask the court to be cognisant of his underlying condition and to show leniency when sentencing.”
Judge Lowry addressed the
court and after asking the defendant to put away the flagon of cider from which
he was swigging sentenced McCarthy to a twelve-month suspended prison sentence.
McCarthy was also bound to the
peace for two years and warned to be of good behaviour.
Judge Lowry additionally
advised McCarthy to move to Cork
where Small-Man syndrome is more prevalent, understood and socially accepted.
An eighty-eight-year-old County Kildare man has claimed that 15 pints a day is the secret to a long and happy life.
The retired farmer and cattle dealer, Dennis Joseph (Dinny Joe) McNamara, made the sensational claims this week in an interview with Meanwhile in Ireland News.
An article in the Lancet medical magazine appears to support the claims made by an eighty-eight-year-old County Kildare man and may promote new research investment into pintman longevity.
The Lancet is the world’s most
prestigious peer-reviewed general medical journal. It is among the world’s
oldest, most prestigious and best known general medical journals.
The article by Stanford Professor Richard Makingstuff substantiates the claims made by a County Kildare retired farmer and cattle dealer Dennis Joseph (Dinny Joe) McNamara.
It claims that there is significant evidence that pint-men in Ireland live long and happy lives.
A Horse of a Man
McNamara at eighty-five still
lines out for his club’s senior football team, is a regular the local disco and
is reputed to be a “great hand at pulling a stubborn lamb from the innards
of a lazy ewe.”
As one local put it “Be
God, but he’s a horse of a man for his age, God bless him.”
Professor Makingstuff and
members of his team visited Ireland last summer after reading reports of
McNamara’s extraordinary lifestyle.
MeanwhileinIreland News caught
up with McNamara in O’Sullivan’s bar two miles out of Kildangan.
“I don’t put any great
store in all these fancy diets,” he told us.
“Nuts and berries are for
God’s birds. I once spent the few nights with one of those vegan wans, be
Jaysus she was hot-to-trot but there was nothing to huld on to. Shur, I nearly fell off her the once.
No!” he exclaimed,
“for me, the only healthy diet is the fifteen pints here in O’Sullivans of
an evening and a bag of curry chips from the chipper next door on the way home.
I find the chips great for
soaking up the alcohol and if you order a big heap of curry it fools the
breathalyser. That new guard is a terror.” He finished.
The Picture of Health
McNamara is a picture of
health. His rosy-red face is complemented by a bulbous purple-veined nose
symptomatic of a blood pressure way off the Richter scale.
However, his dress sense
leaves a bit to be desired. “I’ve often been accused of wearing mismatched
shoes,” he told us.
“The problem — a
consequence of the pints — is as they say ‘a well-developed gut,’ it’s been
years now since I last had sight of me feet.” he lamented as he continued
to prop up the bar.
Love and Marriage
On the notion of marriage McNamara was philosophical. I’ve a few good years left in me yet.” He told us.
“Me own father was about eighty-five when he met me mother. She was a slip of a thing from Clare — a decent hard working woman. I suppose I’ll have to think about it eventually. But I’m telling you now, it will be a simple wedding affair. I’m not a great man for wasting money.”
It has been calculated that
taking an average price of €1.5 for a pint over the seventy or so years of
drinking, Dinny Joe has spent upwards of €650,000 on pints.
Lifetime Achievement Award
No!” He continued,
“I’ve been drinking the fifteen pints a night now for seventy-six-years. I
had me first pint here in O’Sullivan’s on the night of me thirteenth birthday
and haven’t missed a night yet.
I suppose between the pints
and the curry chips I live a good clean life.”
A spokesperson for Guinness
confirmed that a lifetime achievement award will be presented to Dinny Joe at a
ceremony to mark the occasion over the next month.
The Royal College of Surgeons
declined to comment.