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Hello, this is one of the members of the lifewithdivorcedparents tumblr.

I will be taking a hiatus from posting to this blog.


My advice has become repetitious.

Please check out my past advice, it may answer your questions:

http://lifewithdivorcedparents.tumblr.com/tagged/SS

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Anonymous asked:

I am 15 years old teenage girl whose parents are soon going to get a divorce and i have a younger sister aged 5yrs. And i just dont want this things happen to my sister. She is the person for whom i can do anything and my mum she is having boyfriend and she wants divorce with my daddy. My daddy is doin evrything so that he can save our future but all mom is tryin to destroy it. All she want is money, property, her boyfriend, her life. She don’t care for our future at all. I hope I had btter mum.

Hello, I understand your frustration and disappointment. It’s not unheard for women to behave like this during a divorce.

No matter what happens, protect your sister. All she has is you.

She is much younger and therefore much more vulnerable to the problems that tend to arise after divorce.

Avoid your mother and especially her boyfriend as much as possible. No need to fight her and cause more pain, just leave her in the past and focus on caring for yourself and your sister. Good thing you still have your father.

Your mother may possibly try to take custody of you and your sister and that would mean you would both have to live with her. If you do not want that to happen, speak up as you do have a voice in these legal matters.

In consideration of your welfare and well-being, I highly recommend you do not live with your mother because she is actively dating. If she lives with a guy/boyfriend, do not live with her under any circumstance and do not compromise.

Ideally, you and your sister moving in with your father is best just as long as he is not dating anyone and neither plans to.

With that being said, there are tendencies with parents after divorce and he may also start dating as well.

Worst case scenario, you may eventually need to move out with your sister. Soon you will be an adult and will be able to make legal decisions including in regards to guardianship. If both parents end up unsuitable households, then moving out and caring for your sister by yourself is an option.

Living independently is a very grueling lifestyle but it would be the best and safest alternative for you and your sister.

If you need any more advice, feel free to ask.

Good luck!

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Yesterday night my dad told my mum he wants a divorce. They separated when I was 5 but I don’t remember it well. I’m 19 now and I feel like I should have seen it coming but it hurts so bad I feel sick at the idea of them not together. My mum even took her rings off. I’m praying and praying my dad comes home and tells her he didn’t mean it. I should be mature about it but my mum is throwing out memorable things and I’m terrified. I’m scared and I’ve cried for hours because I don’t know what to do

Hi there~

I’m so sorry to hear about your parents.

I was a little confused at first by your message because your parents already separated yet still chose to live together all this time. It seems like they decided to still stay together for your sake. It also sounds like they were good parents and raised you well. If this is true, your parents really love you. Most parents would never do what they did.

There is nothing to be afraid of. What’s happening is heartbreaking, but it’s beyond your control.  

The good thing is is that you are 19 and an adult. If they separated for real back then when you were 5, your life would’ve been totally different.

Focus on your future and how to become successful, and minimize dependency on your parents. If you ever need someone to talk to, message me and I will respond asap and I can even give you my e-mail or number.

You are now at the beginning of your journey.

-SS

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