People are 1% Shorter in the evening than in the morning. This is because during normal activities during the day the cartilage in our knees and intervertebral discs slowly compress. When you go to sleep and rest the cartilage goes back to normal.
She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?”
The operator said, “I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number of the patient?”
The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, “Norma Findlay, Room 302.”
The operator replied, “Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse’s station for that room.”
After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said,
“I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine and her blood work just came back normal. Her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow.
”The grandmother said, “Thank you. That’s wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news.”
The operator replied, “You’re more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?”
The grandmother said, “No, I’m Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me anything.”
An arrogant professor boards a plane and gets a seat beside an old man.
During the mid-flight, the professor decides to play a game with the old man to prove he’s intellectually superior.
So he turns to him and says, “Hey, do you want to play a little game with me?”
The old man looks at him and says, “Depends. What type of game?”
The professor goes on to explain the game, “Taking turns, we’ll ask each other one question at a time. If the other knows the answer, the asker gives him one dollar, and if he doesn’t, he gives one dollar to the asker. Want to play?”
The professor grins, knowing his general knowledge is vastly superior. To his dismay, the old man refuses! Determined to make him agree, the professor raises the stakes for him.
“If I lose, I ‘ll give you two dollars instead of one!”
“I told you, no.”
Desperate, the professor makes one final offer, “If I lose, I’ll give you a hundred dollars, and if you lose you’ll only give me one!”
The professor pleads. The old man ponders this, then sighs. “Only if I get to start”, and the professor immediately agrees.
“Ask away”, the professor says, confident he’ll never lose.
The old man asks, “What has five heads, forty feet, and lives inside of a bucket?”
The professor turns the riddle over in his head, trying to find anything that fits the description.
After an hour of intense concentration, the professor gives up. Grumbling, he pulls out his wallet and gives the old man $100.
He wastes no time and asks him, “So what has five heads, forty feet, and lives inside of a bucket?”
The old man smiles, shrugs and says, “I’ve got no idea. Here’s your dollar.”