Loading...

Follow Laugh Break on Feedspot

Continue with Google
Continue with Facebook
or

Valid

People are 1% Shorter in the evening than in the morning. This is because during normal activities during the day the cartilage in our knees and intervertebral discs slowly compress. When you go to sleep and rest the cartilage goes back to normal.

More fun and useless facts, visit our Useless Facts page.

The post People are 1% Shorter in the evening than in the morning appeared first on The Best Place for Clean Jokes and Useless Facts!.

Read Full Article
  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

A sweet grandmother called the hospital.

She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?”

The operator said, “I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number of the patient?”

The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, “Norma Findlay, Room 302.”

The operator replied, “Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse’s station for that room.”

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said,

“I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine and her blood work just came back normal. Her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow.

”The grandmother said, “Thank you. That’s wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news.”

The operator replied, “You’re more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?”

The grandmother said, “No, I’m Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me anything.”

The post A sweet grandmother called the hospital appeared first on The Best Place for Clean Jokes and Useless Facts!.

Read Full Article
  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

Tiramisu means “Pick Me Up” in Italian. Yummy!

More fun and useless facts, visit our Useless Facts page.

The post Tiramisu means “Pick Me Up” in Italian appeared first on The Best Place for Clean Jokes and Useless Facts!.

Read Full Article
  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

A lethal dose of caffeine is about 50 double espressos! There is a lot of coffee!

More fun and useless facts, visit our Useless Facts page.

The post A lethal dose of caffeine is about 50 double espressos appeared first on The Best Place for Clean Jokes and Useless Facts!.

Read Full Article
  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

An arrogant professor boards a plane and gets a seat beside an old man.

During the mid-flight, the professor decides to play a game with the old man to prove he’s intellectually superior.

So he turns to him and says, “Hey, do you want to play a little game with me?”

The old man looks at him and says, “Depends. What type of game?”

The professor goes on to explain the game, “Taking turns, we’ll ask each other one question at a time. If the other knows the answer, the asker gives him one dollar, and if he doesn’t, he gives one dollar to the asker. Want to play?”

The professor grins, knowing his general knowledge is vastly superior. To his dismay, the old man refuses! Determined to make him agree, the professor raises the stakes for him.

“If I lose, I ‘ll give you two dollars instead of one!”

“No.”

“Five dollars!”

“No.”

“Ten dollars!”

“I told you, no.”

Desperate, the professor makes one final offer, “If I lose, I’ll give you a hundred dollars, and if you lose you’ll only give me one!”

The professor pleads. The old man ponders this, then sighs. “Only if I get to start”, and the professor immediately agrees.

“Ask away”, the professor says, confident he’ll never lose.

The old man asks, “What has five heads, forty feet, and lives inside of a bucket?”

The professor turns the riddle over in his head, trying to find anything that fits the description.

After an hour of intense concentration, the professor gives up. Grumbling, he pulls out his wallet and gives the old man $100.

He wastes no time and asks him, “So what has five heads, forty feet, and lives inside of a bucket?”

The old man smiles, shrugs and says, “I’ve got no idea. Here’s your dollar.”

The post An Arrogant Professor on A Plane appeared first on The Best Place for Clean Jokes and Useless Facts!.

Read Full Article
  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

9 bench in Miami.

They had been meeting at that park every sunny day for over a dozen years.

One day, the younger of the two ladies turn to the other and says,

“Please don’t be angry with me, but after all these years, what is your name? I am trying to remember, but I just can’t.”

The older friend stares at her and then says, “How soon do you have to know?”

The post Two elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park appeared first on The Best Place for Clean Jokes and Useless Facts!.

Read Full Article
  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 
Laugh Break by Laugh Break - 3w ago

A man in the bar offers to bet anyone $100 that his dog can talk.

At first, everyone is dubious, but after the man clarifies he means complete grammatically correct sentences, and they make sure there are no hidden devices on the dog, several bets are made.

The man, Well, Charley?

Charley lifts his paw.

The man, Charley, come on, say something.

Charley barks once.

The man, “Charley, what is it, now? Say something in English.”

Charley clearly doesn’t understand what the man wants from him and is getting visibly nervous.

Finally, the man has to give up. So he pays the lost money and leaves with Charley.

After walking a few blocks in the rain the man asks sadly, “Why did you do that?”

“Just imagine how much we’re going to win there tomorrow.” Says the dog.

The post A talking dog appeared first on The Best Place for Clean Jokes and Useless Facts!.

Read Full Article
  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted.

She told the artist, “Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.”

“But you are not wearing any of those things,” replied the artist.

“I know,” she said. “It’s in case I should die before my husband. I’m sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.”

The post An Elderly Woman Decided To Have Her Portrait Painted. appeared first on The Best Place for Clean Jokes and Useless Facts!.

Read Full Article
  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

A man is sitting on his front stoop staring sadly at the ground when his neighbor strolls over.

The neighbor tries to start a conversation several times, but the older man barely responds.

Finally, the neighbor asks what the problem is.

“Well,” the man says, “I ran afoul of one of those questions women ask. Now I’m in the doghouse.”

“What kind of question?” the neighbor asks.

“My wife asked me if I would still love her when she was old, fat and ugly.”

“That’s easy,” says the neighbor. “You just say, ‘Of course I will’.”

“Yeah,” says the other man, “that’s what I MEANT to say. But what came OUT was, ‘Of course I do’.”

The post A Man Is Sitting On His Front Stoop Staring sadly At The Ground. appeared first on The Best Place for Clean Jokes and Useless Facts!.

Read Full Article
  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

Read for later

Articles marked as Favorite are saved for later viewing.
close
  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

Separate tags by commas
To access this feature, please upgrade your account.
Start your free month
Free Preview