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The woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times.

When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… “

“You know what, dear!” she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. “I think you’re bad luck…..”

The post Wake up from coma appeared first on The Best Place for Clean Jokes and Useless Facts!.

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The manager of a jewelry store nabs a shoplifter trying to steal a necklace.

“Listen,” the shoplifter says, “you don’t want any trouble, and neither do I. What do you say I just buy the necklace and we forget this ever happened?”

The manager agrees and writes up a sales slip.

“You know,” says the shoplifter, “this is more than I wanted to spend. Got anything less expensive?”

The post Shoplifter at a jewelry store appeared first on The Best Place for Clean Jokes and Useless Facts!.

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A man was driving when he first saw the flash of a traffic camera.

He figured that his picture had been taken for speeding, even though he knew he wasn’t.

Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly.

But again the camera flashed.

Thinking this was pretty funny, he drove past even slower three more times, laughing as the camera snapped away each time he drove by at a snail’s pace.

Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seatbelt.

The post Traffic Camera Fun appeared first on The Best Place for Clean Jokes and Useless Facts!.

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A man and his wife rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items.

She headed for the express line where the clerk was talking on the phone with his back turned to her.

“Excuse me,” she said, “I’m in a hurry. Could you check me out, please?”

The clerk turned, stared at her for a second, looked her up and down, smiled and said,

“Not bad.”

The post Rude Cashier appeared first on The Best Place for Clean Jokes and Useless Facts!.

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It was a baby mosquito’s first day to fly out from home.

When the mosquito came back home later that day,

the father mosquito asked,

“How was your journey?”

The baby mosquito replied,

“It went great. Everyone was clapping for me!”

The post Baby mosquito’s first day to fly out from home appeared first on The Best Place for Clean Jokes and Useless Facts!.

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A woman had decided to get a dog for protection.

She inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, “He doesn’t like men.”

Perfect, she thought and took the dog.

Then one day she was approached by two men in a parking lot, and she watched to see how her canine bodyguard would react.

Soon it became clear that the trainer wasn’t kidding.

As the men got closer, the dog ran under the nearest car.

The post Getting a dog for protection appeared first on The Best Place for Clean Jokes and Useless Facts!.

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A teacher overheard the student’s conversation.

Teen girl to Friend, “For the prom, I’m renting a limo, spending $500 on a new dress and bringing in the best makeup artist in the state to do my hair.”

A teacher who has overheard the conversation, “Wow, that’s more than I spent for my wedding!”

Teen girl , “Yeah, well you can get married three or four times, but prom is a once in a lifetime experience.”

The post Preparing for the prom appeared first on The Best Place for Clean Jokes and Useless Facts!.

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A police had a knock at a man’s door earlier…

The police, “Sir!”

The man, “Yes?”

The police, “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.”

The man, “Liar! My dog doesn’t have a bike!”

The post Your dog in trouble! appeared first on The Best Place for Clean Jokes and Useless Facts!.

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A little old lady goes to the doctor and says,

“Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. It never smells and it’s always silent. As a matter of fact I’ve passed gas at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was passing gas because it doesn’t smell and it’s silent.”

The doctor says, “I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week.”

The next week the lady goes back. “Doctor,” she says, “I don’t know what you gave me, but now my passing gas… Although still silent, it stinks terribly.”

“Good”, the doctor said, “now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, we’ll start to work on your hearing.”

The post Silent and deadly appeared first on The Best Place for Clean Jokes and Useless Facts!.

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A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. After hear about his extravagant gift, a friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles.”

“She did,” he replied. “But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?”

The post Buying his wife a diamond ring for Christmas appeared first on The Best Place for Clean Jokes and Useless Facts!.

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