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[PODCAST] Stay safe! Author and therapist, Steven Wolhandler, shares many tips about how to avoid dating emotional predators.

My podcast guest, Steven Wolhandler, is a psychotherapist, mediator, consultant and retired attorney. He spoke with me about how to avoid dating dangerous emotional predators. Steven knows how abusive and manipulative people prey on the emotions of good people – and how good people can protect themselves. He has decades of experience dealing with, and learning from, toxic manipulators, and helping their victims with penetrating insight, effective strategies and humor. Listen as he offers a radically different view of these Emotional Predators and provides practical effective solutions. 

Check out the show notes, and listen to/download EP 358: How to Avoid Dating Dangerous Emotional Predators.

Avoid Dating Dangerous Emotional Predators What inspired you to immerse yourself in this topic?

I’ve worked for several decades as a therapist and a mediator in the family court system. I’ve dealt with a lot of very difficult toxic people. I’ve helped a lot of people spot them and learn how to deal with them. My clients told me to write this stuff down and share it with a broader audience, [which inspired me to write my book on emotional predators].

What is an Emotional Predator?

Most people are decent. And there’s a small fraction of the population who are dangerous. An emotional predator is someone who exploits other people by tuning into and preying upon the emotions of other people.

  • One of the keys that makes them dangerous is they operate by stealth. They know how to conceal what they’re really like.
  • They relentlessly seek to dominate, win, and control.
  • They have no empathy or conscience to restrain them.
  • Life is a strategy. People are to be defeated or a game piece to be used.

How do we spot emotional predators?
  1. Bait and Switch. They’ll bait you and seduce you with all you want to hear, and then they’ll accuse and manipulate. First, it’s all about you until you’re committed, and it’s all about them.
  2. Relentlessly Manage Their Public Image. If it’s too good to be true, it usually is.
  3. Avoid Giving Direct Answers.
  4. Need to Control. Have it their way.
  5. They Provoke Others Into Emotional Reactions. Put you off balance.
  6. They claim to be the Victim.
  7. Fake Sincerity to Seduce.
  8. Pretend to Be Ignorant or Innocent.
  9. Trap You in a No-Win Bind. Damned if you do and if you don’t.
  10. Tend to Isolate and Gaslight. Happens over time, where they cut you off from friends and family.
  11. They Create Havoc, Confusion, Chaos.
  12. They Disrupt Your Natural Rhythms. Interrupt your sleep or call you at work.
  13. They’re Hypocrites. Ignore the rules when they don’t serve them.
  14. They’ll Say or Do Anything to Get What they Want.
  15. They Tend to Know it All and Are Rigid in Their Beliefs.

Emotional Predators impatient and irritable when they don’t get their way. They can be angry and dismissive or play for sympathy with a big display of false humility or martyrdom.

How can people protect themselves from emotional predators?
  1. Spot them.
  2. Know yourself better than they do. Know your core values and beliefs.
  3. Be willing to adjust your core values. For example, if your core value is to be a good person and open and honest with everyone. You’ll need to adjust it to not be open and honest with emotional predators. The adjustment would be to be open and honest with trustworthy people.
  4. Disengage. Run away.
  5. If you can’t disengage [family members or someone you have children with], be strategic and not emotionally reactive.

Can you share some general tips for staying safe and protecting yourself?
  • Know and love yourself.
  • Treat yourself the way you’d like others to treat you.
  • Know your blind spots.
  • Distinguish between romance and mature love, which is about respect.
  • Be realistic about human nature.
  • Know there are predators, but also learn to recognize good people.
  • Be infinitely curious observing yourself and other people.
  • Check in with trusted friends, and give them permission to tell you the truth.

Are you making excuses, taking blame and responsibility? Stop!
Don’t be afraid to slow down, step back, or pull the plug at any point. A mature respectful person will have no problem with that.

If you do see emotional predator qualities in a person, resist the urge to tell them. Know it, don’t show it.

Get a copy of Steven’s book: Protecting Yourself From Emotional Predators on Amazon.
Or go to his website: emotionalpredators.com to learn more about Steven and reach out for support if there’s an emotional predator in your life.

Please take a moment to rate and review our show on iTunes here. Thank you!

Want to finally attract the epic love you deserve? Schedule your complimentary 1/2 hour Love Breakthrough Session. Learn how coaching with Sandy can help you fall in love with a partner who meets you on every level. https://lastfirstdate.com/breakthrough

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[PODCAST] Palm reading reflects your soul and life purpose, your personality archetypes, talents, health, and even your soulmate!

My podcast guest, Cynthia Clark, is a palm reading consultant and relationship expert. Author of Stories in Your Hands: Discover Your Authentic Destiny Using Palmistry & Tarot, she has worked with over 7,000 people worldwide in the past 10 years. She created the most innovative and accurate matchmaking system using palmistry to help spiritual singles find long-lasting love through https://Loveinyourhands.com. Cynthia also offers readings, coaching, courses and professional training and is passionate about sharing her vast knowledge of palmistry as an empowerment tool.

Check out the show notes for Episode 357: How Your Hands Reveal the Deepest Secrets of Your Soul.

How Palm Reading Can Help You Find Your Soulmate Can you tell us a little about your love life and how you met your soulmate, your second husband?

I was married for 19 years to my first husband. I got divorced and ended up jumping into the crazy realm of dating after not having done it for 20 years. I had a ‘fatal attraction’ for a few years, and I learned so much from that experience.

Eventually, I met my husband, and I’m super happy. I wanted to share that with the world. I met him at a retail gift ship. I was reading palms, and he brought in gift boxes he had made. He fell in love with me the first day we met, but I wasn’t ready for him for two years! I read his hand on the first day, and I saw that he was compatible with me. I needed to heal and grow before we got together.

How did you get into palm reading?

I had a deja vu experience. I had picked up a book on palm reading at the library. When I started reading it, I felt I had read it before. It started me on a pathway, and I tested the material on friends and family. The response was positive, and that started me doing palm reading.

How does palmistry help people, and what do palms reveal?

Palm reading is not what most people think. It’s not about telling you when you’ll die or when you’ll meet the ‘one’. It’s a mirror of who you are. It reflects your soul and life purpose, your personality archetypes, talents, health, and preferences. It can give you insights and guide you.

How can palm reading help you find you soulmate?

When you’re a baby, your hands are not yet set. When you’re about six years old, your hands form the shape they’ll have for the rest of your life. This represents the subconscious influences that reflect your personality. It also reflects who you’re compatible with. You can find your archetype and who you’re compatible with.

20:00 Listen to an exercise that helps you identify if your personality archetype is air, earth, fire, or water and what they each mean in terms of who you’re compatible with.

Do palms change over time, and if so, how do they change?

Yes. The lines mimic the neural pathways of your brain, especially after trauma. As you make changes, over time your palm reflects those changes, and you can see the ebb and flow of the lines in your hand.

What should you look for if you’re dating and want to know if someone is compatible?

A handshake can be super useful. Does he have a firm grasp? That’s someone who wants to dominate you. The ‘dead fish’ handshake is someone with no energy, and they’ll probably get really tired or burned out. If they have a warm handshake, they’re probably pretty friendly and balanced. Also, pay attention to skin texture: soft skin is sensitive, thicker skin can handle more pushing around.

FUN FACT: It’s good to be similar in the thumb. If you have a big thumb, you’re an achiever. Someone with a tiny thumb will probably frustrate you.

Another thing to check for is the giving energy, which is the thumb ball, the puffy part under your thumb on your palm, called the Venus mount. If it’s big and puffy, it means they have a big appetite. Could be an over-indulger. If it’s puffy but average, they’re probably giving and genuinely helpful. If it’s flat, they have depleted energy.

What final advice do you have for our listeners who want to go on their last first date?

Everyone has a soulmate match. There are many soulmate matches for every person. It’s never too late to find that person. You make the decision you want that person in your life. Life is just waiting for you. Choose to live life with love, and it will open doorways for you.

Get Cynthia’s free report on your emotional type. It will read your heart-line and find out who you’re compatible with. https://loveinyourhands.com

Please take a moment to rate and review our show on iTunes here. Thank you!

Want to finally attract the epic love you deserve? Schedule your complimentary 1/2 hour Love Breakthrough Session. Learn how coaching with Sandy can help you fall in love with a partner who meets you on every level. https://lastfirstdate.com/breakthrough

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Are you mistaking a trigger for a true red flag? Are you missing red flags early on, and getting your heart broken? If so, this video is a must watch!

How do you know the difference between a red flag and a trigger? In this video, I share a little story about a woman who confused red flags with triggers.

Listen to her story, and see how dangerous it can be to get caught up in misinterpreting men’s intentions—and possibly pushing away a good guy.

Red Flag or Trigger, and how to tell the difference... - YouTube
Is it a Red Flag or a Trigger?

Have you ever confused a red flag for a trigger? Have you made up stories in your head based on assumptions about what a man meant, instead of asking clarifying questions and finding out the truth?

If you’d like to dive deeper and gain clarity about this topic, join the Woman of Value Club! This month (June 2019), the topic is RED FLAG DETECTION. Improve your red flag GPS, and learn how to work on your triggers so they don’t sabotage a potentially good relationship.

Click here to join the Woman of Value Club (for only $7) in time for our next Master Class!

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[PODCAST] Looking for love? Spend time decluttering your emotional closet! My podcast guest, Laura Richer, shows you how.

My podcast guest, Laura Richer, is a certified hypnotherapist, dating coach, and owner of Richer Healing in Seattle, WA. She developed the Richer Love Program to help women build healthy self-esteem and support her clients to find the relationship they want and deserve. Laura is also the host of “The Laura Richer Show” heard on KKNW 1150AM Radio in Seattle. On her show, she has featured prominent relationship authorities and authors, bringing new insights into the art of love.

Check out highlights below and listen to/download EP356: Decluttering Your Emotional Closet to Find Lasting Love.

Decluttering Your Emotional Closet to Find Lasting Love

What inspired you to do this work as a dating coach?

After I got divorced, I found dating to be a frustrating experience. Online dating was all new to me, and I made so many mistakes. I wanted to share what I learned with my clients [and show them] it doesn’t have to be so painful.

How did you find love again?

I’ve been with my partner for three years. I met him when I was out with friends one night. I was clear about what I was looking for, and I was feeling fantastic about my life. It was a journey to get there, but it was so worth it.

Why do you need to declutter your emotional closet and let go of past relationships before you start dating?

The work I didn’t know I had to do when I started dating was to look at my belief systems that got me to where I was in relationships. [It’s important to look at:] What are you believing consciously and subconsciously that’s creating your [dating and relationship] outcomes?

Identify your [limiting] beliefs. Maybe it’s, “there is no one for me” or “I have to take what I can get”.

Make sure you’ve done the work to process and let go of past/painful relationships [in order to move on and have the love you deserve].

What kinds of things do people hold onto, and how can they let go?

It’s different for everyone. Identify what you’re holding onto, whether it’s the way you were treated or an experience you had. Become mindful of the fears you have and how much you’re projecting it in your current situation. Sometimes it’s unconscious.

15:00 Listen as Laura shares a story about a client who transformed by identifying her limiting beliefs and letting go of past pain.

How can Hypnotherapy help support you when you are dating?

There are two ways hypnosis supports my clients.

1. Letting go of past relationships by revisiting the relationships via visualization.

2. It helps clients identify their unconscious beliefs and offers the opportunity to visualize what you want to create.

How does energy work help your dating coach clients?

Energy work [like Reiki] addresses the blocks in energy. When you’ve experienced trauma, it helps the energy flow again for optimal health.

What’s your best advice for women who want to go on their last first date?

Know what your standards and expectations are for the right partner for you. You’ll stop going on second and third dates with men who are not a good fit. When you’re choosing men from this place of alignment, you’ll date less often, and you’ll find your true love much quicker.

Learn more about Laura at richerlove.com

Please take a moment to rate and review our show on iTunes here. Thank you!

Want to finally attract the epic love you deserve? Schedule your complimentary 1/2 hour Love Breakthrough Session. Learn how coaching with Sandy can help you fall in love with a partner who meets you on every level. https://lastfirstdate.com/breakthrough

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Should you date a separated man? Most women say, “Hell no!” In this video, you’ll hear my three principles for deciding whether to date a separated man.

Should you date a separated man? Most women feel they shouldn’t date a separated man because:

a. He may not be over his ex yet, and they might reconcile.

b. He may not be emotionally ready for a relationship yet.

c. Their faith is against dating men who are not yet divorced.

While all of the above reasons are valid, I feel it’s not that black and white of a situation. In this video, I offer a way to see the issue of whether you should date a separated man through a new lens. Check it out!

[VIDEO] Should You Date a Separated Man?
Should You Date a Separated Man? - YouTube

There are MANY reasons why a man could be separated and not yet divorced. For example, I have a friend who left his wife, moved into a new apartment, and seven years later, he was still not divorced. Why? He wasn’t in a hurry to divorce her, because he had no plans to remarry. He met the right woman, and a few months later, the divorce was final.

That’s one of the reasons why I don’t believe in hard and fast rules about dating and relationships. Instead, I teach principles or guidelines to follow if you want to go on your last first date.

Three Principles For Dating a Separated Man

Principle Number One:

Just because a man is separated doesn’t automatically make him the wrong person for you. Learn more about his separation before judging him. 

Principle Number Two:

Know your must-haves and what kind of relationship you’re looking for, and don’t compromise on either. For example, if you’re looking for a long-term relationship with an emotionally available man, and he’s newly separated and dating casually, he’s not your guy.

Principle Number Three:

Every person has their own story about emotional readiness. Find out his. Start the conversation with something like, “I noticed you’re separated. Can you tell me more about that?”

And one last thought…let’s flip this around and ask ourselves, what if it was ME dating again after I split with my ex and I wasn’t yet divorced? How would I want a man to see me? Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

After listening to the video, what are your thoughts about whether to date a separated man? Please leave a comment below.

P.S. Want to finally attract the epic love you deserve?

Schedule your complimentary 1/2 hour Love Breakthrough Session. Learn how coaching with Sandy can help you fall in love with a partner who meets you on every level. https://lastfirstdate.com/breakthrough

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Have you ever felt you were blindsided in a relationship? Things seemed to be just fine, and suddenly…BAM!…he breaks up with you. What happened? You didn’t see it coming.

I believe relationships leave clues, and if we pay close attention, it’s much harder to feel blindsided ever again. Watch this video to learn my method for preventing being blindsided in the future.

How to Avoid Being Blindsided In Dating - YouTube

The Formula for Preventing Being Blindsided in a Relationship
  • Define what you want and need in a relationship.
  • Let a man know your wants and needs.
  • Ask what he wants and needs and what type of relationship he’s looking for.
  • If he says he’s on the same page, great! If not, walk away.
  • Watch his words and actions to see if he’s consistent.
  • If yes, continue.
  • If no, speak up about your concerns, and if you can’t work it out, leave.

Every relationship is an opportunity for us to grow and do better next time. You don’t have to struggle anymore!

Remember…you teach people how to treat you. The more clarity you have, the better your relationships will be.

NOTE: The Love Mastery Program I referenced in the video is sold out. If you’re seriously interested in learning more and getting on a waiting list for the next opening, click here.
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Treva and Robby Scharf, hosts of the Done Being Single Podcast, married after 50 for the first time! Hear their inspirational story.

Treva and Robby Scharf married after 50 for the first time! They are co-hosts of the podcast, “Done Being Single,” on the VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network. With a combined 107 years of single life under their belt, they have the wisdom and experience needed to navigate the dating world.

“Done Being Single” covers all aspects of being single and finding love later in life. From sex tips to dating intervention, from tough love to life advice, from personal growth to prenups, Treva and Robby aim to entertain and empower.

Check out highlights below for Episode 355: Older and Wiser – How to Find Love Later in Life with Treva and Robby Scharf.

Married After 50 For the First Time Download/listen to this episode by clicking here or the player below. How did you survive all those years being single?

Robby: Pretty well, actually. I didn’t have marriage as a goal ever. I liked experiencing different relationships. I had a few longer term relationships. I didn’t put much pressure on myself that I had to start a family. With Treva, the timing and chemistry was right. I was done being single.

Treva: I’m an only child, so I had the skills of being comfortable being alone. I was lucky in that I wasn’t in a huge hurry to get married until my early forties when the clock was ticking. I had a full life, and that helped.

It’s important to have options at all times. I had good friends, family, and great guy friends who were a source of comfort and support. Activities and hobbies also filled me up.

If you’re a single mom, focus on your kids and what you have, not what’s missing. Have a sense of purpose.

I knew Robby was for me when it felt effortless and didn’t come with a lot of angst and worry.

What’s the best dating advice you can give single people who want to get married after 50?

Treva: Dating isn’t so hard at this stage. There’s so much upside to being single after 50, to being okay with yourself.

Don’t keep saying it’s so hard and a struggle. It will eventually become that. Keep your life full with options, so if it doesn’t happen or it does, it’s okay. Spend as much time offline as online. Get off your phone. Look up. Meet people. Make eye contact and smile.

Learn how to apply the same focus to effort as you do to surrender. You are enough, but you’re not off the hook. Look and feel your best, and there’s a time and place to say ‘I’m good and will allow my life to unfold without forcing.’ Let go!

Robby: Date against your type. Your ‘type’ can focus you on superficiality (hair, clothes, etc.) instead of seeing the true person in front of you. Have coffee with them. You may be surprised.

What were some challenges to getting married after 50 for the first time?

Treva: You come to the relationship with set ways and habits. The ways in which we differ are the ways in which I can improve. A lot of times I have to put away my fitness and life coach background. I have to let him be him, and he allows me to be me. Be open to suggestions and change. Stand your ground and be flexible. It’s a labor of love.

Facing the hard truths is an opportunity for amazing growth.

Robby: I had different role models than Treva growing up. I came from a loving household. It was a strong family unit. Treva was an only child of divorced parents. A lot of [marriage] is not comfortable, but it’s part of the growth of our relationship.

Find Robby and Treva at http://www.donebeingsingle.com

Find Treva at TrevaBrandonscharf.com

Please take a moment to rate and review our show on iTunes here. Thank you!

Want to finally attract the epic love you deserve? Schedule your complimentary 1/2 hour Love Breakthrough Session. Learn how coaching with Sandy can help you fall in love with a partner who meets you on every level. https://lastfirstdate.com/breakthrough

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My podcast guest, Heather Nichols, talked about the importance of getting out of your head on a date. Hint: Your body holds the answers to true love!

My podcast guest, Heather Nichols, MSW, is a Joy of Business facilitator, movement & meditation consultant, tantra practitioner and somatic psychotherapist. She combines her expertise in mind-body therapy with 20 years’ experience in the world of business and entrepreneurship to facilitate people toward a fuller, more joyful, experience of business, life and family.

An Access Consciousness® facilitator, healer, and mom, Heather has been running a weekly radio show for more than 6 years. She also facilitates workshops and private consultations online and around the world. She refuses to take ‘no’ for an answer from life and brings to her work a fierce commitment to create joy, ease, and wealth on the planet – in every aspect.

Check out episode 354 to learn how to get out of your head and into your body on your journey to true love. 

Listen to/download this episode by clicking here or on the player below. Getting Out of Your Head on a Date!

What led you to do somatic/body healing?


I was always into my body. I was a dancer, a diver in high school, and I’ve always enjoyed my body. I didn’t realize that was rare until I got older. I became a social worker and was interested in movement therapy. When I brought the body into my work, change was faster and more dynamic and lasting.

When we ignore our bodies, it diminishes what we can create.

When I found the tools of Access Consciousness, it made the change so much faster and more permanent and effective.

Our bodies tend to hold our stories, so when we clear and change our limiting stories, allowing the body to let go of that helps change us.

What’s the value of getting out of your head on a date?


I have an amazing relationship of almost nine years with a man I met at a tantra retreat. The story of us meeting was so informed by my body. When I got divorced, my kids were young. I hadn’t been valuing myself at the time. I came across tantra, and I was notified about a retreat in Antigua in the Caribbean. My body/intuition knew I had to go. As it got closer, I had the sense I might be meeting someone there.

My partner Brian walked in late, and I said to myself, “Who is that?!” We both just knew it was right. It’s been absolutely phenomenal. If I had been in my head about any of it, there would have been many objections [from my head].

I was clear about what I was asking for in a relationship. It was about honoring me and finding someone I’d like to create a life with. I didn’t measure him against a checklist. My body knew he was nurturing to my body and life. The specifics didn’t really matter. We were both willing to make it work.

Love never shows up like you think it’s going to. If you know that going in, it’s a lot more fun!

What are some practical tools people can use to include their bodies in choosing a partner or a lover?

Trauma changes our nervous system, and neurologically we get stuck in fight, flight, or freeze and have to protect ourselves. Abuse and trauma are far more insidious than we think. It’s a part of our world in every way.

One of my favorite tools is called ‘The Bars’. It’s different points on the head. You hold these points. Many of our fight/flight/freeze responses dissipate. It’s a clearing that happens. You lay on a table and someone holds these points on the head. You have less reactivity. Less PTSD. You can learn it in a day. People all over the world teach these sessions.

You can go to Accessconsciousness.com to search for a Bars facilitator near you.

What’s one last tip you can share to help our audience go on their last first date?


Do whatever you can to get more connected to your body. Pay attention to your body more. Go for walks, do yoga—whatever is fun for you. Honor your body. Have more of a connection. Trust when you have a gut feeling, and follow it. Experiment with it. Play with it for an hour or a day and see what that’s like. What shows up? See what it’s like to experience a world beyond our heads!

Find Heather at heathernichols.com and there are links to sign up for her newsletter.

On Facebook: Heather Nichols CF

Please take a moment to rate and review our show on iTunes here. Thank you!

Want to finally attract the epic love you deserve? Schedule your complimentary 1/2 hour Love Breakthrough Session. Learn how coaching with Sandy can help you fall in love with a partner who meets you on every level. https://lastfirstdate.com/breakthrough

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If you’ve been hurt in past relationships and/or you grew up in a highly dysfunctional home, this podcast is for you. You can feel safe to love again!

Based on a field of study called Attachment Theory, the science of intimate relationships, my podcast guest, Dr.Gary Salyer’s insights have a profound and often immediate impact on helping people feel safe to love again. As a transformational relationship mentor, he helps people re-write the rules for love in their brains. He empowers singles to reclaim their rights for a full soulmate relationship. With couples, he helps resolve their conflicts and differences so they can have the love they dream about. Therapists are even saying his new approach will ‘change the way therapists do therapy.’

Check out highlights of Episode 353: Release the Pain of Past Relationships to Create The Love You Deserve.

Listen to/download this episode here: What inspired you to write this book?

It began as a child growing up in a dysfunctional family with alcoholics and mental illness. No one loved each other. I wanted to know why. I vowed to never get divorced. In my senior year of college, my professor did a personality test on me. He said you have a 90% chance of having a divorce. Are you kidding me? So, I got another degree in marriage and family. 12 years later, when my wife said, “I want a divorce,” I was floored.

I did workshops and over seven more years of therapy. I remarried, and four years later, my wife asked for a divorce. I did more therapy. I was managing my pain, but I was not transforming.

I realized I was showing up as Mr. Wrong. I wanted to crack the code. So, I learned what creates lasting love. After 10 years of research and coming up with a new theory, I wrote the book.

I began learning Neuro-Linguistic Programming, and that was transformative. Attachment theory gives you a label (secure, anxious, or avoidant) and you might as well say, “I’m screwed” if you’re anxious or avoidant. We live in a time of hopelessness. The books don’t tell you the road map back to secure attachment. That’s what my book does. You have rights in love.

What are the rights you name in the book?

There are four rights that create lasting love.

  • Welcomed with Joy. You have a right to feel welcomed by your partner.
  • Cherished and Protected. There’s a Me and a We in a healthy relationship. That’s a template for all great couples.
  • Empowered with Choice. This is the right to create your own experience with love and co-create with your partner.
  • To Love and Be Loved: Both are important. You have the right to have your needs met. It’s okay to reach out and take and receive.

How can someone rewire their brains for love?

Realize you’re worthy and deserving of love. Then, do the deep work. The book is a road map with skillsets. If you’ve always felt unworthy, go back and do the deeper work. It’s not easy to do by yourself. Find someone who can help you restore those rights and stop making yourself wrong. Your brain will adapt. It’s called neuro-plasticity. Love is your birthright.

Can you share a client story that illustrates how someone can rewire their brains?

Sabrina is one of my favorite clients. She was 35, professional, happily married with 3 kids. In session with me, she looks at the other side of the couch where someone usually sits. She starts to cry uncontrollably. “If my husband ever finds out, I will lose everything.”

Every few months, she’d have an affair. She couldn’t enjoy her husband. “It has nothing to do with him. I can’t enjoy him. I have to find a way out of this, or I’ll lose everything.”

The word ‘enjoy’ kept coming up. We tracked it back to her childhood. Her father got more joy from his daughter than the mom. The mom was jealous of the daughter. One day, Dad bought her a red dress and enrolled her in a beauty pageant. Mom asked, “Did you enjoy daddy?” That becomes her template for love. She didn’t have the full right to love and be loved. I helped her integrate, and then her husband came in. He told me, “Doc, I’m going to love the next 15 years!”

Whatever experience you’re having, it’s probably a replay of something from your childhood.

What’s the most important thing you’d like people to take away from this book?


You deserve to have a love that lasts. You have a right to feel welcomed, worthy, cherished and empowered. If you do the deep work, you can have hope for the love you deserve.

How do we find and keep a lasting relationship given all the serial relationships and breakups?


Modern dating culture is a petri dish of undeserving and unworthiness. Online dating is about compatibility lists. Who lives up to these long lists?
It makes all of us feel unworthy. When couples break up, they blame compatibility vs. the REAL problem, which is the basis for friendship.
Go back to welcomed, worthy, cherished and empowered as a way to find lasting love.

Contact Gary Salyer, and schedule a love map session. You can also get Love Notes, which are 2-4 minute videos for couples and singles at http://www.GarySalyer.com

Buy the book, Safe to Love Again.

Please take a moment to rate and review our show on iTunes here. Thank you!

Want to finally attract the epic love you deserve? Schedule your complimentary 1/2 hour Love Breakthrough Session. Learn how coaching with Sandy can help you fall in love with a partner who meets you on every level. https://lastfirstdate.com/breakthrough

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In these 10 short videos, you’ll learn how to turn around the biggest dating mistakes and find love by becoming the master of your love life.

As a dating and love coach for women over 40 for over a decade, I am a keen observer and teacher of the keys that lead a woman to become the master of her love life and attract the love she deserves. I also know what gets in the way of a woman’s ability to have the relationship she yearns for.

To help you become the master of YOUR love life, I’ve created a series of ten live videos in my Facebook Group, Your Last First Date. (If you’re not yet a member, click the link to join).

Each video contains a surprising mistake women often make — usually without any awareness —that could be keeping them from the love they deserve.

Watch these short videos, and leave a comment below as to what resonated for you and where you struggle in your love life. (NOTE: I didn’t edit them, as I wanted you to get the feel for how they’re presented in front of a live audience.)

If you want to master your love life, join the Love Mastery Program before registration closes on May 10th at Midnight ET. Learn more here.

[Video Series] How to Master Your Love Life Day 1: Having Insight Into Yourself and Your Love Patterns
Having Insight Into Yourself and Your Love Patterns - YouTube
Day 2: Why You Shouldn’t Trust Your Intuition in Dating
Should You Trust Your Intuition in Dating? - YouTube

Day 3: Letting Go of the Stories You Carry From Your Past
Let Go of Stories We Carry From Our Past - YouTube

Day 4: The Importance of Managing Your Emotions
The Importance of Managing Your Emotions - YouTube

Day 5: Are You Unknowingly Friend-Zoning Yourself on a Date?
Are You Unknowingly Friend-zoning Yourself on a Date? - YouTube

Day 6: You Look For What’s WRONG With Men vs. What’s Right
We Look For What's WRONG With Men vs. What's Right - YouTube

Day 7: Stop Oversharing On Dates
Stop Oversharing On Dates! - YouTube

Day 8: Your Must-Have List is Keeping You Single
Your Must-Have List is Keeping You Single - YouTube

Day 9: Coming soon Day 10: Coming soon

Are you ready to learn the keys to LOVE MASTERY? Click here to learn more and set up a time to talk to me and discover if this is YOUR year for lasting love.
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