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The final countdown is on, it is less than 48 hours from Parkville Beerfest, and I am getting pumped! As a reminder, it is at Platte Landing Park this year, due to the floods. Check out their website for all the pertinent information. Their beer list has been released by Untappd, so as any professional athlete would know, you need to formulate a game plan, prior to arrival. Patrick Mahomes doesn’t show up on game day, without reading the scouting report does He? So here are the Myces recommendations, and remember they are always subject to change. I will not disclose my order of tastings to prevent a line from the swarms of people following my lead.

Blind Tiger: Maibock and Guten Tag Helles, along with the usual asking for a side of Dave’s Dip, and hopefully they will have the guy with the beer dispensing backpack
BLVD: Boss Tom’s and Rye to the 4th power, because who doesn’t need a 15% beer at beerfest
Burr Oak: Hoppen- Daz Mango Milkshake IPA
Call Sign: All of their beers
Crane: See above note regarding Call Sign
Dogfish Head: Slightly Mighty
Friction Beer: Tubthumping IPA, so I can go around singing, “I get knocked down, then I get up again…..” and pretend it’s 1995.
Stem Ciders: Hibiscus Session

I also like to stop in and try as many of the homebrew clubs as possible. It help support the little guys and they have beers you I can’t get anywhere else.

As always don’t forget to follow the 9 Myces decrees mentioned earlier on the blog. These rules have been passed down by Great-Grandfather, Saccharo Myces, from his experience at Oktoberfest. They will enlighten you on proper etiquitte and teach you how to not only survive but thrive during a beerfest. This is the first time this information has been disseminated to the public, so make sure you retweet and share this post with your friends. Enjoy!

Get a ride: Uber, Lyft, cab, your pregnant wife, bicycle, anything but driving yourself.

Pre-hydrate and rehydrate: Drink a sports drink or bottle of water on the way to the event, then set an alarm on your phone for every 30 minutes, as a reminder to drink another glass of water. As Jake "The Snake" Roberts said, “I don't really buy beer, I just rent it.” (Go to 1:30 on the video)

Food: Make or purchase a pretzel necklace, eat a hearty breakfast, and bring some straight cash homie for food truck possibilities. Plus the pretzel necklaces invite all kinds of great innuendos.

Don’t be a clepto: I know it’s always fun stealing stuff at beerfests, but you don’t want to have to explain to the Mrs. that you got arrested for stealing a pint glass, bottle opener, six pack of beer, growler, etc. If you want something just ask nicely; you never know when they will say yes.

Sunblock: Similar to the hydration. Apply generously before, and set a phone alarm as a reminder.

Sunglasses: You’re going to be outdoors in the sun for 5 hours. Enough said. Plus you can remain more inconspicuous if you happen to become overserved.

Check the forecast: You can’t imagine how many unprepared souls I saw for Mudfest 2016. Don’t be a dumb@$$; look at the weather and dress appropriately.

Don’t Pregame: Wait for the grand opening, and if you want to drink early splurge for the VIP tickets. There has NEVER, and The Myces means never (in my Rocky Maivia voice), been one time I’ve said, “I wish I had more beer to drink at beerfest.”

Line Cutting: Line cutting is only acceptable during the last 30 minutes of beerfest. By that time, everyone should have their gameface on and an extra few seconds in-between beers is not necessarily a bad thing. If you spot a line cutter just call them out politely and let them be, it's not worth getting into a fight. Line cutting for the bathroom is NEVER ACCEPTABLE.
Cheers,
Brett A. Myces
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“So when the devil says to you, ‘Do not drink,’ answer him: ‘I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to.’ One must always do what Satan forbids.”
— Martin Luther


As Lent is almost over, a lot gave up something for the season. Traditional ideas are generally a certain food, alcohol, or even sex. Now Del Hall, an employee at Fifty West Brewing in Cincinnati, Ohio, is going to survive ONLY on beer and water. He says he got his inspiration from 17th century monks, who drank their “liquid bread.” He will be following up with a doctor routinely, and documenting his quest on social media. I must confess I have only gone a single evening on beer alone, though there was the epic Spring Break of 2006, when I “allegedly” went 5 days on beer alone. I certainly wish Mr. Hall well and look forward to tracking his progress.

Update: As of this writing for Task and Purpose, Mr. Hall had lost 25 pounds.

Cheers,
Brett A. Myces

A svelt Mr. Hall at a brewery
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“Beschwere dich nicht, wenn du nicht bereit bist, etwas dagegen zu unternehmen.”
“Don’t complain unless you are willing to do something about it.”
-quote from the diary of great grandfather
Saccharo Myces


I felt this was an appropriate sentiment to start off today's blog regarding a craft beer miracle in the making. Johnson County is actually contemplating, key word contemplating, a little bit of progressiveness when it comes to alcohol. We have covered the dozens and dozens (go to 3:55) of reasons Missouri is the better beer state, with Missouri vs. Kansas: Blue Laws, CMB's, Dry Counties, Oh My! Kansas finally got rid of the 3.2% law, and now there is a push to repeal an archaic law from 1987. This law states that any establishment in Johnson County wanting to sell alcohol must get 30% of their sales from food. Obviously this is quite the problem if you want to open a small brewery, hence the lack of breweries in one of the most densely populated counties in the metro. I first noticed this issue when I visited Red Crow a couple of years ago. They had more food trucks and bar snacks than any brewery I had ever visited, which is not necessarily a bad thing.

Craft breweries are now finally starting to fight the good fight for all the little people in the land of the free! So what does a dedicated, persistent, and tenacious beer drinker do to help with this fight? Simply follow the steps below.

Step 1: Be a fan of craft beer
Step 2: Go to the Limitless facebook page, or the brewery itself
Step 3: Find who your JOCO commissioner is via Limitless, google, your neighbor, or the library
Step 4: Email, write a letter, call, knock on their door, show up at their office, or send the Pony Express, and tell them you want more breweries and this law is asinine. Also tell them repeal will help small businesses grow and flourish. Tell them local beer is better for the environment and how you do not want to support the multinational-conglomerate, watered-down, cheap beer corporations. You can also mention how many successful breweries are located across the state line.
Step 5: If they still say no, vote them out of office.

I’m not sure which brewery started this grassroots campaign, but Limitless, Servaes, Transport, and Sandhills are in on the facebook action. The only way to let the citizens vote on a ballot initiative is to get the commissioners to pass a resolution, or get a citizen’s petition. So the current approach is via the commissioners.

KCTV has another write-up discussing this conundrum as well.
Cheers,
Brett A. Myces
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The three Myces brothers have triumphed over yet another beerfest, and we were mostly able to adhere to the Myces Decrees for beerfest survival. So now it has come time to sit back and reflect on this wonderful afternoon of fun, fellowship, and friend-making. This was my first time ever splurging for a VIP ticket, and it was worth the money. The VIP ticket got us in an hour early, because everyone needs an extra hour of beerfest ;), and allowed us some special tastings. We also got a swag box that included a t-shirt, pint glass, koozies, chapstick, and several stickers. Below is an exhaustive list of the pros and cons of the Flint Hills Beer Fest.

The white tallgrass koozie from 2016, it didn't
get used because as a V.I.P, I got a pocket sized koozie on a leash
The free koozie with a holster for being a V.I.P






















Limited attendance: By restricting the ticket sales the event made it easy to get a beer, which is one of the top things to do at a beer fest. Lines were short, and it wasn’t overly crowded. I felt as though they probably could have sold a few mores tickets and still maintained the quaint cozyness.

Informed staff: Most of the breweries had a representative, so you could discuss upcoming releases, as well as other brewery news and rumors. We even came across local brewery legend and co-founder of Crane Brewing, Michael Crane, pouring beer.
The BLVD tent
The Ska tent

Ample Swag: There were the usual collections of stickers, bottle openers, and koozies. Dogfish Head even had a limited number of headbands and sunglasses.

Trapeze artists: This was the first beerfest I’ve been to that had trapeze artists hanging out doing routines. It was actually pretty cool to watch and surprisingly none of the attendees got the idea of trying their own trapeze tricks.
The aforementioned trapeze artists


Plenty of beer: To my knowledge, there wasn’t any brewery that ran out of beer, which was great.


Very Minor Cons:
Water: There was not a water fountain available to fill up your glass hourly, but they did have plenty of bottled water (though it showed up a bit late).

Bathrooms:There was not quite the recommended Myces ratio of one port-a-potty per beer booth. But with the small event size, we might have to rethink that ratio. Even with only three port-a-potties, I never had to wait in line. Overall, no major backups at the port-a-potty.



The 3 port-a-potties


No tickets for walk ups: This didn’t affect me, and I realize the need to limit people for space and safety, but I saw a few people who showed up and were turned away. I think it would have been a good idea to save a small number of tickets for same day purchases to accommodate the stragglers that didn’t prepare in advance, but that didn’t affect any of the Myces men.

Weather: I debated including this aspect as a pro and a con. The weather was absolutely gorgeous for the first 4 hours, then a typical Kansas thunderstorm rolled in and closed everything 30 minutes early. I would like to thank all the booths that let the attendees huddle underneath their tents to weather the storm.
A random fan enjoying the #BestDayEver



Overall, my impression of this event was great and I will definitely be back in 2020! Every booth had a wide variety of beer and the weather was great until the very end. I spent most of my time at Ska, Kansas Territory, and Crane. I drank an abundance of Life Coach Lager at Kansas Territory while trying to convince Brandon to distribute to Missouri, and to restart the placing of koozies in their 30 packs. Crane was their usual awesomeness, even without orange gose.

My favorite booth was Ska. I haven’t consumed a lot of their beer, mainly due to their limited distribution to Missouri. I do appreciate their Mexican Logger, and they have been brewing it long before Mexican lagers were trendy. The best of show award goes to Cru D’Etat. Cru is a Solera style sour, and the unique characteristic of this beer is its aging process. For the last ten years, this beer has been sitting in a foeder. They will bottle half the foeder every 2 years, then refill it, making this a truly unique and rare beer. #MeThinksMeLikes I was told there were only about 30 cases of this beer for the entire state of Kansas. They also had Rue B. Soho lager available. It is their Mexican Lager base beer with grapefruit and cascade hops. It will definitely be added to the Myces beer fridge ASAP.

Cru D'Etat
Rue B. Soho from Skaa

Cheers,
Brett A. Myces



















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This is a guest post by older brother K. Myces, detailing his Yuengling trading group.

Cheers,
Brett A. Myces



K Myces, Brett’s Brother here. You by now know the Myces love of Yuengling, but know it is hard to get in MO and KS. In the spring of 2018 they finally moved west of the Mississippi into Arkansas. The “Bring Yuengling to Missouri” facebook page has 200 followers - go like it now (and come back to read the rest)! Full disclosure, this facebook page is not affiliated with KCBeerBlog.

I have a trading group for Yuengling where money rarely changes hands. Trading groups rules are you give a case or two of Yuengling, and friends will return the favor when they have access. This idea was originated by the previously mentioned Great-Grandfather Saccharo Myces. When he immigrated to the United States from Bavaria, his only possessions were his beer stein, and two firkins of beer. His diary discusses how he was trading beer for everyday necessities, even trading with some guy named Busch.
The trunk full of Yuengling


I was recently meeting Army buddies at a conference in STL. One friend was coming from Indiana, and I requested 8 cases of Yuengling. At first he thought I was kidding, but then remembered he is talking to a Myces. As he was checking out at the liquor store, the cashier smirked, shook his head, then said, “Is the next stop Illinois, Missouri, or Iowa? I see this once a month.”

Upon arrival to our hotel we loaded up the Yuengling in the trunk, and put Garth Brooks’ Beer Run on repeat. The doorman gave us an awkward eye, so we politely offered him a beer, and were on our way. Each Myces brother got one, my two best friends got a case, and I repaid my trading-group-buddy after he brought me two cases in the fall. I didn’t open one for myself however. Another Army buddy in Wyoming currently, was originally from Pennsylvania. When we were stationed in Georgia together, he first allowed my lips to touch his sweet Yuengling nectar of the Gods. So, I am saving 3 cases for him during the Myces family summer road trip!




The Yuengling brought home to the promised land
So, if you are going to Arkansas, Indiana, Tennessee (or further east), make sure and post on Facebook inquiring if any friends want some Yuengling. You will find some FB friends who you didn’t know liked Yuengling and can expand your beer-trading-team.

Now, go like “Bring Yuengling to Missouri” if you didn’t do it earlier, or better yet, write them a letter saying, you need “MO” Yuengling.
Prost,
K. E. Myces
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Whenever one thinks of Easter, the first things that come to mind are generally the Easter bunny, the Resurrection, and Easter egg hunts. Since 2015, there has been an Easter Kegs ‘N’ Eggs hunt at the Renaissance festival fairgrounds. How it took me five years to finally hear of this event is nothing short of an Easter Miracle. I’ve always wanted to buy a new flail, eat a turkey leg, and hunt Easter eggs at once, so now I officially can do all at the same time. Sadly, this event takes place at 11 a.m. on Saturday, April 27. Yes, it’s the same time as Parkville Beerfest, so KCBeerBlog will not be making an appearance. If you want a change of pace, this is your chance to bust out your chain mail and the medieval knight armour you bought on ebay that night you were drunk in college and have a good ole’ time.


Here is their webpage, facebook, and twitter for more information.
Cheers,
Brett A. Myces
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If you are like me, you realize the older you get, the earlier in the day you want to start drinking. I used to have a theory that over time my body would eventually develop an immunity to hangovers after enough exposure. Unfortunately this theory turns out to be completely false; the hangovers only get worse as you age. Father time is such a tough S.O.B. My favorite method of rectifying the hangover problem is to start drinking earlier in the day to ensure I get a proper night’s rest, and to drink one glass of water for every two beers.
Pub Pass beer at Waldo Pizza
Traditionally I would always find the best happy hour establishments for my afternoon cocktail, but as any fiscally responsible beer drinker knows, over the last few years the length and quality of happy hour in general has steadily declined. That is why the creation of the Kansas City Passport and Pub Pass will only be topped by the discovery of Nessie. These two magical programs will let you create your own unique happy hour on your own time.

The first option is the Passport program. For only $20, you can get a booklet for buy-one get-one free drinks at 49 locations in Kansas City. When I first read about this offering, I did some quick math and realized I only needed to buy four beers to break even! A quick P.S.A.: before beginning your passport quest, please make sure to have a designated driver, or call a cab, Uber or Lyft, but do NOT drink and drive.
A Passport beer at John's Big Deck
The best part of the KC Passport is it provides many clusters of drinking establishments. For instance you can do a tour of North Kansas City and visit Big Rip, The Brewkery, Velo Garage and Tap house, and Colony KC. Or you could go to the River Market, and hit up Harry’s Country club, Brown & Loe, then Strange Days. With 49 locations, you can create your own happy hour almost anywhere in the city, and if you want to be weaksauce and only drink one beer, they will give you a beer for half price. The one drawback to the passport program is these are seasonal. So if you are looking to start your happy hour quest the winter edition expires on April 15; what better day to drown out your sorrows than on tax day? Passport also has booklets in St. Louis, Washington D.C., and several Colorado locations, for your next vacation.
A cocktail at Brown and Loe
Our second hoppy option is the Passport’s arch-nemesis Pub Pass. Similar to Passport, Pub Pass has several booklets located around the Midwest including Kansas City and St. Louis. It is also priced at $20 a booklet, but only has 20 drinking establishments in the Kansas City market. The two best features of Pub Pass are the fact that you get one free drink (without having to buy one), and it is good for the entire year.

The Pub Pass
Both booklets have unique benefits, and I don’t know if one is objectively better than the other, so I would call this match a draw. It would be a shame if you only had one of these programs in your repertoire, so do as I did and just buy one of each!
Cheers,
Brett A. Myces
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As we covered in WTF is Headless Mumby I have procured another update of the Mumby Men. Tasting Nitch, on her youtube channel , Morning Beer, gave nothing but praises of their brewery. I will not transcribe the broadcast and will let everyone watch it for themselves. The two best highlights are at 2:06, discussing a Nitro Marzen, better known as the holy grail, and at 1:22, you will notice a sign saying WTF is a Headless Mumby?
Look at these bad@$$ stickers from the Mumby Boys


I am in the process of sending a cease and desist letter for blatant copyright infringement of my blog title. That is unless I get 5 free crowlers of beer. If anyone has a lawyer willing to assist in this endeavor, I’ll gift them a crowler. Don’t forget the first person to say KCBeerBlog sent you still gets a free beer from Mumby.
Cheers,
Brett A. Myces
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Any followers of the blog are familiar with our love obsession of Beerfests, particularly the pearly gates of the Parkville Beerfest. Where else can you find such nicely organized afternoon drunkenness? Below are the 9 Myces decrees, that have been passed down from Great-Grandfather, Saccharo Myces. They will enlighten you on proper etiquitte and teach you how to not only survive but thrive during a beerfest. This is the first time this information has been disseminated to the public, so make you retweet and share this post with your friends. Enjoy!

Get a ride: Uber, Lyft, cab, your pregnant wife, bicycle, anything but driving yourself.

Pre-hydrate and rehydrate: Drink a sports drink or bottle of water on the way to the event, then set an alarm on your phone for every 30 minutes, as a reminder to drink another glass of water. As Jake "The Snake" Roberts said, “I don't really buy beer, I just rent it.” (Go to 1:30 on the video)

Food: Make or purchase a pretzel necklace, eat a hearty breakfast, and bring some straight cash homie for food truck possibilities. Plus the pretzel necklaces invite all kinds of great innuendos.

Don’t be a clepto: I know it’s always fun stealing stuff at beerfests, but you don’t want to have to explain to the Mrs. that you got arrested for stealing a pint glass, bottle opener, six pack of beer, growler, etc. If you want something just ask nicely; you never know when they will say yes.

Sunblock: Similar to the hydration. Apply generously before, and set a phone alarm as a reminder.

Sunglasses: You’re going to be outdoors in the sun for 5 hours. Enough said. Plus you can remain more inconspicuous if you happen to become overserved.

Check the forecast: You can’t imagine how many unprepared souls I saw for Mudfest 2016. Don’t be a dumb@$$; look at the weather and dress appropriately.

Don’t Pregame: Wait for the grand opening, and if you want to drink early splurge for the VIP tickets. There has NEVER, and The Myces means never (in my Rocky Maivia voice), been one time I’ve said, “I wish I had more beer to drink at beerfest.”

Line Cutting:  Line cutting is only acceptable after 2 hours of beerfest.  By that time, everyone should have their gameface on and an extra few seconds in-between beers if not necessarily a bad thing. If you spot a line cutter just call them out politely and let them be, it's not worth getting into a fight.  Line cutting for the bathroom is NEVER ACCEPTABLE.  If you have to go that bad you should have planned in advance, and if it truly is an emergency, just find a tree or a corner of the parking lot.



All of the information on these epic adventures is listed below.



2019 Flinthills Beerfest: This inaugural beerfest takes place on April 6th, 2019 in Manhattan, KS and runs from 4-7 p.m., with VIP entrance starting at 3 p.m. Being an inaugural beerfest, I’m sure there will be a few kinks to work out, but please don’t rush too quickly to judge. I just hope they have mastered the appropriate port-a-potty to attendance ratio. I know it might be a bit of a drive, but Manhattan is an awesome college town, and this supports a great cause, the Homecare and hospice foundation. They are advertising over 30 breweries, live music, and food trucks, so come happy (and thirsty).



Parkville Beerfest: Taking place at English Landing park in Parkville on April 27, 2019. Admission is at 11 a.m. and sampling runs from 1-5 p.m. Last year the event sold out, so I wouldn’t wait to buy tickets. Parkville is the beerfest of all beerfests. I won’t spend much time bragging about it’s awesomeness; I will simply let the previous blogposts (listed below) speak for themselves. If you are only going to attend one beerfest, this is the one. One can also look through our previous facebook posts for pictures of this glorious day. Yes, the white Tallgrass koozie will be making its annual appearance.  Hopefully the Missouri River will cooperate, so we can all leave our kayaks at home.

Parkville 2018
Parkville 2017 and Parkville 2017 part 2
Parkville 2016 and Parkville 2016 part 2 A.K.A. Mudfest
Parkville 2015


Nanofest: This one is a close second to Parkville Beerfest. It is held at Berkley Riverfront Park Saturday, May 18th from 2-6 p.m. Nano always features several homebrewers, as well as up-and-coming brewers, and has an eccentric collection of unique and interesting beers.

Nanofest 2017 review
Nanofest 2016
Nanofest 2014


Cheers,
Brett A. Myces
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“Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” -Sir Winston Churchill

As the multinational-conglomerate, watered-down, cheap beer industry continues to lose market share, they must continue to find newer and cheesier gimmicks. After the MillerCoors epic failure of Two Hats, one should realize that adding fruit to bong-water, calling it beer, then trying to market it to 22 year olds on an indigent budget is as good of an idea as taking an alligator wrestling class. Not only was this beer nastier than a baby's diaper, but it was a horrible business decision. Now another multinational-conglomerate, watered-down, cheap beer brewer (A-B InBev) is trying the same thing. Only this time they are calling it Naturdays.

Photographic evidence that Naturdays do exist
So what exactly is a Naturday? Naturday is a spin off of Natural light, better known as Natty Light, Nasty Natty, or piss in a can. Most of the readers here will recognize Natty Light from their adolescence, largely because it was the beer you drank as a pre-pubescent teenager because it tasted like water and a case would run about $10. You would get 4 friends together, pool your money, everyone would get drunk on 3 beers, and then hide the rest for the next day. At least that was what we did in rural Northeast Missouri. Oh, what it was like to be young, dumb, and poor; sometimes I actually miss those days.

Instead of adding pineapple as Two Hats did, Naturdays is a strawberry-lemonade flavored Natural light. I don’t really know why else you would buy this stuff unless you just think Flamingos are cool. I won’t be providing tasting notes because I have a case of phoenicopterusaphobia, but if anyone out there has some, I will share them with the world.

If you really want to drink a fruit beer, I would stick with Jam Band, Ginger Lemon Radler, Cranberry Orange radler, go to KC Bier Company and get a radler.  Even take the advice of older brother Lacto Myces, and drink a Nancy,

Here are a couple links for your Naturday reading pleasure.

Brewbound had a quick write up.

Elitedaily gave us their opinion.

The 2 Bald Guys from County Market in Quincy, IL, did a tasting for anyone who wants to take the Naturday experience.

And that’s the bottom line ‘cause Stone Cold, I mean Brett Myces, said so.


Cheers,
Brett A. Myces
I wonder who Natty light is trying to market toward by offering free scholarships

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