Have you ever felt weariness? I don’t mean the kind of tired that a good night’s sleep or lazy weekend fixes, but weary all the way to the center of your bones. It is total exhaustion resulting from a long period of all work and no play. Everything seems fine. It’s all getting done. It’s just the way it has to be for now.
One morning the world had no color. My hands were heavy and my tasks brought me no joy. Writing, creating, just keeping up with what I was already doing seemed impossible. Without warning, I hit the brick wall of my own limitations. What!? Not me! I am strong. I can just push through this, right? Yet the color didn’t come back and the sunlight stayed dim.
It was hard to face my own weakness.
I began to take stock. What was I doing that could be stopped? I was spending about an hour per day taking care of animals. Along with the physical demands, the livestock required a fair amount of mental energy and force me to stay home. One by one they made their way to new homes. The paddock is now empty, the ground gently tucked in for winter with a thick layer of hay sprinkled with grass seed and wheat. It should wake in a rush of green this spring.
I am resting. The colors are slowly brightening. I am learning to slow down and just be still.