Change Your Life with EFT, Holistic Life Coaching and Healing, and More. Phillip and Jane Mountrose helps people to awaken to their best possible lives and enlist their full potential through Certification Programs, private consultations, publications, and more.
Life comes with stress, some necessary and some not. Life is the ultimate stress test. So what can you do about it?
We want to help you develop a game plan for dealing with life’s tensions. In other words, ways to pass the ultimate stress test – your life.
Ordinarily, a stress test means finding out your heart’s health by going on a treadmill or other monitoring programs. For banks, a stress test determines how well they can withstand an economic crisis.
How to Handle Stress
An indicator of our trying times is the growing number of people taking anti-depressants. The New York Times reported, “Some 15.5 million Americans have been taking the medications for at least five years. The rate has almost doubled since 2010, and more than tripled since 2000.”
Anti-depressants have helped some, but their use has been called into question as being no more effective than a placebo (sugar pill). Also most drugs come with undesirable side effects and withdrawal symptoms.
Before we suggest other ways to deal with stress, let’s get more specific on exactly what we are talking about. To clarify, we can divide life’s challenge into small, daily pressures and big, occasional shocks to our system.
Small disruptions are a part of life. Dealing with life’s stressors is important, or chronic stress develops. Ongoing stress can undermine our bodymind, which hurts the quality of our life and possibly even our life span.
Here are two helpful strategies:
1. Develop healthy routines.
Lifestyle medicine includes enough sleep, good diet, regular movement, social activities and play time. Once your body is conditioned and you have some social support, you can withstand life’s unpredictability. You can even welcome the challenge at times feeling that you can come out on top..
2. Focus on what you want.
If you are continually putting out fires, you may feel like you are never getting back to even. It feels that you are barely getting started, much less accomplishing something.
To help focus, be sure to get your dreams and goals prominent in your mind. Then you know how to stay on track to where you want to go, even if you get lost or set back at times. You also know multitasking weakens you. Doing one thing well energizes you.
Sometimes overwhelming events happen to us: a loss of a job or income, a death of a loved one, an injury or disease, being victim of a crime or natural disaster.
In spite of such seismic stressors, many people come out stronger. It’s called post-traumatic growth. It is defined as “a positive change experienced as a result of the struggle with a major life crisis or a traumatic event” by Richard G. Tedeschi and Larence G. Calhoun, the researchers who coined the term.
In addition to the two strategies described above, we want to add three more ways to deal with stress.
3. Reframe your situation.
First, acknowledge the problem; then find ways to look at it differently. There may be unexpected opportunities there. It’s certainly a time to muster courage and inner strength.
At age 67, Thomas Edison’s entire lab, containing much of his life’s work, was destroyed by fire. His response was, “There is great value in disaster. All our mistakes are burned up. Thank God we can start anew.”
4. Go one step at a time.
You can literally only take one physical step at a time. But the mind gets lost in threat mode and fight-flight or freeze. Instead, breathe, relax and just consider your next step.
5. Good can come out of this.
Be open to being surprised and delighted. You must be willing to let things happen. Be alert to possibilities. Accept what is, And and know good is coming and is possible.
Affirmations to Manage Stress
Here are some stress-coping, transformational affirmations. You might be surprised how helpful they can be if you use them regularly:
I rise to this challenge.
I find ways to recover and grow.
I learn from my mistakes and failures.
New possibilities are becoming available.
Whatever is getting us down ─big or small ─ with resilience, we can monitor our stress and make the most of it. If it’s an unavoidable stressor like a natural disaster or loss of a loved one, we can find ways to cope: accepting the changes, getting the right attitude and learning. If it’s a more manageable stressor, like overscheduling or associating with negative people, we can change our behavior and make different choices. Those who deal positively with stress are shown to be stronger and even live longer.
If you view your life as the ultimate stress test, you can figure out a game plan − and pass with flying colors. You can manage stress. You can create positive mindsets and healthy routines.
This means that you can face challenges and come out wiser, if not stronger.
What limits you, can also free you. The past is a piece of your life. Use it; don’t be used up by it.
What limits you, can also free you.
The past is a piece of your life.
Use it; don’t be used up by it.
Let everything that happens to you be a resource for growth and transcendence.
Making your dreams come true is one of the greatest joys in life. It’s also a key focus of holistic/spiritual life coaching. We’re all here to live fully – to feel alive, expansive, and engaged in creating a bright future.
This is what we call the “Heart of Success.” It makes pursuing your heartfelt dreams and goals an important priority and “Ground Rules” play a critical role.
A Special Opportunity to Make Your Dreams Come True with Spiritual Life Coaching
The 5 Essential Steps below transform lives. They’re time-tested and highly enjoyable. With these steps, you can become your own spiritual life coach.
These steps are essential both for individuals who want to coach themselves to success and for holistic/spiritual life coaches who help clients to get the most out of life.
You may also be interested in knowing you’ll find a Special Free Opportunity to learn even more at the bottom of this post.
If you’re intrigued, you can take this opportunity now …
The 5 Steps for Making Your Dreams Come True with Spiritual Life Coaching
1. Get clear on what you really want.
Studies show that people who write down their dreams and goals achieve far greater success than those who just think about them. Only 5% do this, which means the vast majority are missing out in an important key to success.
On the other side of the equation, bemoaning what’s not happening usually makes things worse. We’ve confirmed this many times. Just thinking about your heart’s desires often feels vague and confusing. It may even feel impossible and if you think it’s impossible, it probably is.
By contrast, putting your heartfelt dreams in writing is clarifying. Try it. It’s the first step to making your dreams feel real. And when your dreams feel real, they have the potential to become a reality.
We wrote down our heartfelt dreams and goals years ago and we’re glad we did. To our surprise, they started to come true. Overtime, with a lot of trial and error, the results exceeded our expectations.
We were so excited about what we had learned that we started to teach students in our holistic coaching and healing courses how they could do this, too.
The puzzle pieces of how to make dreams come true were falling into place. Still, we felt like something was missing.
This is where our concept of Ground Rules entered the picture. In retrospect we realized that writing down some Ground Rules may be even more important than writing down your dreams, but first you have to make a shift.
2. Open to the mystical realms of spirit.
Clear thinking opens you to new possibilities, because it awakens your creative mind. This connects you with mystical forces that can open doors and guide you every step of the way.
When you focus on realizing your heartfelt dreams, you’re opening to the mystical realms of spirit. This changes everything. You’re entering a new reality where miracles happen and dreams can come true.
A mystical idea you may have heard before is that life is like a game and you make up the rules. You could say this is true because the human mind and spirit have the power to create. As personal development pioneer Eric Nightingale advised,
“You get what you think about most of the time.”
This means your outer world mirrors your inner world. People who believe in themselves and their possibilities tend to make their dreams come true.
3. Lighten up and enjoy life.
The reason to treat life like a game is that games aren’t so serious. We play games because they’re enjoyable. Playfulness also creates a state of flow. What if your life could feel lighter and more joyful? This may be a big step in making your dreams come true.
This is a key point. Notice how you feel when you consider the possibility that your life could be lighter, more joyful and even fun. To us, this feels good and energizing.
Reflecting on the “Game of Life,” questions arose for us, like “What is the purpose of this game?” and “How will I know if I’m winning?”
As mentioned, we’re here to live fully – to feel alive and engaged in creating a bright future – to tap into what we call the “heart of success.” This, then, is the purpose of the game.
But how will you know if you’re winning? When you clearly define your dreams and goals, you connect with your reason for being alive. This brings the desired outcome of the game into focus.
You’ll always know if you’re winning if you feel alive and believe you’re moving in the direction of your dreams.
This brings us to the rules of the game.
4. Set some Ground Rules.
If life is a game and you make up the rules, what would you like to experience along the way? Do you want your life to flow in the direction of your dreams with joy and ease? Do you want to make it easy to win? Your Ground Rules can clarify these things and more …
We created the concept of Ground Rules for manifesting dreams to clarify our intentions and you can do this, too. These Ground Rules are like rules of the road on the journey through life. With joy and ease as one example, you can see that there is a broad range of possible ways to experience life. The obvious question is this: why not experience it in the most favorable ways?
Setting Ground Rules to Elevate Your Thinking
Ground rules provide an opportunity to bring some magic into your life. Visualize for a moment the reality you want to create where your dreams are coming true.
Imagine living in a reality where you are in the right place at the right time to live joyfully and realize your purpose in perfect time. Wouldn’t this be better than a reality where you seem to continually miss opportunities?
Imagine living in a reality where you can have positive, loving relationships. Wouldn’t this be better than feeling isolated and alone?
Imagine living in a reality where your dreams come true with the greatest possible ease. Wouldn’t this be better than having to struggle every day to “make things happen”?
This is truly the Heart of Success – living each day to the fullest. With a written set of Ground Rules, your life can change dramatically, but only with the addition of another critical key.
5. Match your thoughts and feelings with the intentions you set in your Ground Rules.
Once you have written your Ground Rules, your focus moves to matching your thinking to your intentions. This takes practice, so it’s both a challenge and an opportunity. Mahatma Gandhi offered this advise:
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
If you bemoan your fate and focus on what’s not going well in your life, you can’t expect life to flow with joy and ease. This is a critical point most people miss. Since your outer world mirrors your inner world, you have to focus on feeling good, and flowing with joy and ease now, if this is the kind of life you want to create.
Life is, of course, a journey, and none of us is perfect. Ground Rules provide an opportunity for growth. Shifting restrictive thoughts and feelings that might attract a reality that’s different from the one you intend to create supports this growth.
Remember, what you focus on, you create.
Tap into the Heart of Success and Make Your Dreams Come True
The 5 steps provided here can change lives. But if you really want to live to the fullest, this just touches the surface of what’s possible with spiritual life coaching.
From a spiritual perspective, it’s a miraculous journey. Unfortunately, you can be delayed and frustrated by numerous potholes, barriers, and detours if you don’t know the rules of the road.
There’s so much more to explore and so much more life to live.
If you’re curious about what might be possible for you, you’re in the right place. We’ve devoted three decades to exploring ways to tap into the heart of success, make dreams come true, and live to the fullest. We started with our own lives, then as spiritual/holistic life coaches working with countless clients and students who have transformed their lives on this journey.
If you want to learn more about how you can grow, expand your possibilities, and clear obstacles that prevent you from tapping fully into the heart of success, please join us for a special free event.
Remember, if you want to make your dreams come true, it’s a journey and you must learn the rules for the road. On May 30th and June 6th, we’ll diving deeper into this subject with two webcasts on Seven Powerful Shortcuts on the Journey into the Heart of Success.
To join us for free, please register now, before you forget.
Are you an introvert or extrovert? Here are a few important questions that can reveal a lot about yourself:
Do you tend to be outgoing?
Do you feel at ease socializing and networking?
Or do you prefer study, research and productive time by yourself, interacting with small groups and one-on-one?
Or do you fall somewhere in between on the spectrum, from gregarious to private?
WHY YOUR INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT TRAIT MATTERS
Here at Awakenings Institute, we help people live fully, which includes realizing their life purpose. Part of finding out who you are and what you here to do with your life is to know yourself. As Socrates said,
“An unexamined life is not worth living.”
Social scientists consider this inner-outer balance to be a primary personality trait. You self-actualize with gaining key self-knowledge, which includes knowing how introverted or extroverted you are.
Once you know your innate tendencies, you can use them more intelligently and leverage them for your full potential.
WHAT YOUR ESSENTIAL TRAITS LOOK LIKE
Being introverted or extroverted can show up differently depending on your personal make-up (which is comprised of a mixture of traits). Your inward direction may lead you to quietly work behind the scenes in supportive roles. You may work solo on your art or project, which may ultimately be shown publicly. You might be a warrior type, diligently following directions for your cause, marching forward, in sync with like-minded others.
For the extroverts, you might be a pastor/priest type, who relishes getting your message out to uplift people. If you are more of a performer, you are fun loving and like the limelight, being on center stage. If you are a natural leader, you help groups, maybe larger organizations. You can oversee projects, sense the big picture and how to marshal forces to achieve goals.
Or you may be an ambivert, a combination of both introvert and extrovert. You then have a mixture of introverted and extroverted traits, and certain circumstances might bring out your one side or the other. You might be more gregarious at a party and then, when by yourself, be more single-minded working on a project, depending on the circumstances.
ADVANTAGES OF THE INNER AND OUTER
Research shows extroverts extroverts are natural networkers. Coming with this expansive territory, an extrovert tends to make friends and be popular. Being likable, he or she gets easily promoted. Extroverts Extroverts earn more money, are put in leadership roles and are overtly happy.
For introverts, they can stay focused and single-minded. Such discipline allows them to accomplish tasks and be productive, sometimes impressively so. Elite athletes and accomplished musicians, for example, have to spend countless hours practicing by themselves or with a coach to achieve exceptional results.
Here’s an important point: Even though you may have the drawbacks that go with being mostly introverted or extroverted, know that you can balance yourself by learning those missing skills and aptitudes.
Introverts can learn social skills; extroverts can find ways to stay on course. In short, you can get help to balance your introversion or extroversion tendencies.
Knowing yourself includes knowing your natural tendencies and abilities, whether introverted, extroverted or a combination.
But don’t stop at just recognizing yourself, the kind of person you are by nature. Don’t cut yourself short saying, “That’s just the way I am.” You can go further. You can consciously develop yourself by using your aptitudes, while finding ways to address deficiencies.
Knowing yourself empowers you, to be and become your best self. Live on purpose like your life matters (because it does) makes all the difference. That’s part of living life fully.
The Little-Known Secret to Manifesting What You Want - YouTube
Thoreau advised to go “confidently in the direction of your dreams, and live the life you have imagined.” But how do you do that?
“Manifest” is defined as “to make evident or certain by showing or displaying.” How do things go from invisible to invisible, from your mind to appearing in the outer world, from your imagination to something you can see, feel, touch with your external senses?
One of the strange secrets of manifesting is you actually don’t know “how” things will manifest. Yes you have at least a sense of the outcome, where you want to go, but how exactly you get there is somewhat of a mystery.
There are so many infinite combinations that occur on many levels, most of which are invisible, before we see evidence of them in our physical, 3-D reality. Yet things from ordinary to extraordinary do appear if we put our mind and heart into it. Your life is a testimony to that. You can get better – more intentional – at manifesting with experience and training.
From How to Why on Manifesting Your Desires
Even though you can’t know “how” it will happen, you can still be motivated by what you want to manifest. Your “why” might focus on better health, relationships or purpose. First comes your attention on what you want. Then you intend to create a different world for yourself, a better reality. This intention translates into focus and then taking action, sometimes inspired action.
If you desire a better situation and just wait around for it to show up, you are literally missing in action. You are somehow hoping that no effort is needed on your part and someone will hand you your dreams like winning the lottery.
So even if you don’t know exactly how things will unfold, you still can take specific steps in the direction you want to go.
If you want to travel the world, at least you can get a map. If you want to start a new business, you can at least research possibilities on the internet. After you reach that vantage point, you can see further. Yes there will be times of confusion, overwhelm and doubt. It turns out that uncertainty is part of the process, the journey of manifesting from where you are to where you are going.
Ancient traditions used wayfinding. It’s an art using such means as a compass or an astronomical position to travel over unknown land and sea. They used basic tools and awareness to guide them, motivated to find a destination.
So too can we use our intuition and external actions to take us where we want to go.
Even Though …
Even though you cannot know “how” it will happen, you can focus on your dreams. If you stop with thinking, though, and never translate it into action, your dreams might go up in smoke.
Focus and clarify on what you want. Be specific, even if it turns out the outcome is not exactly what you want. You might want a sum of money to buy a house, when what manifests is a place to live at a price you never thought possible. In other words, keep an open mind and open heart to let possibilities emerge.
Be alert to possibilities such as reading an article like this. Or speaking to someone who might help you with your dreams and goals. Or follow a lead. You never know, or do you?
With an open heart and open mind, you will find your way. You can manifest things, including the life of your dreams.
How to Develop Resilience: Essential Spiritual Quality - YouTube
What’s a must-have quality to live fully? The older you get, the more challenges you will face. By using your life experiences, you can navigate through the sometimes treacherous terrain.
To deal with challenges, both big and small, develop resilience — an essential spiritual quality. When you’re resilient, you recover from setbacks. You adapt to changing circumstances. And fortunately resilience is learnable, regardless of your genes or temperament.
It’s been noted that US college students in recent years have become less resilient. They seek help from counselors for ordinary problems like fitting in to into a new environment, living more independently, relationships and life’s problems (like finding a mouse in you’re the dorm and having a mental breakdown).
Although genetics and early programming do make some people more resilient, all people can make changes in the way they respond. It’s important to become more resourceful and a problem solver, and not overly dependent on others. Resilience is not a fixed trait and you can shift your set point in this area.
Seven Ways to Cultivate Resilience
1. Be Flexible
Like a branch, you need to be bendable or you will break. To be resilient, you need to be flexible. On a physical level, this means keeping your body in shape by eating healthily, exercising and resting sufficiently.
On a mental-emotional level, you want to be agile flexible and creative too.
“Sometimes you need to lean on others and get emotional support; other times you need to give yourself space to heal or grieve or let things cool off; and other situations need swift and strong action to advocate for yourself or confront a situation head on.”
2. Be Prepared
Children are taught to prepare for emergencies such as fires and earthquakes by practicing and rehearsing the actions to take in the event of a sudden, unexpected danger. That’s a good approach to your life as an adult too. What will you do in the heat of the moment, when disaster strikes? Whether it’s a big bill coming unexpectedly, a broken appliance, a car accident, a business failure, or a natural disaster?
A few suggestions to be prepared:
pause and reflect
have a positive word or chant
visualize a calming image, color or symbol.
Your preparation might include physical emergency supplies as well as a financial buffer. You need to be able to react intelligently and quickly so you can restore order.
3. Stay Connected
When setbacks strike, we may tend to hunch our shoulders and want to crawl into a hiding place. Retreating, however, is generally the way to dig yourself into a deeper hole. Instead, reach out to others. Ask for help and support. Just like you would want to help others in times of their need, plug in to your social connections or make new ones.
4. Breathe and Relax
There’s a reason one of the primary ways to meditate is simply focusing on your breath. Deep breathing relaxes you. Positive self-talk can be relaxing too. A calm mind can withstand much and soothes troubling waters, whatever whereas a reactive mind agitates an already difficult situation, and creates more chaos.
5. Do Strength Training
Strong body, strong mind. Too many people become frail and brittle in older age and then may fall and never recover. You can prevent that by strength training, lifting weights 2-3 times a week, which builds muscle, improves circulation and metabolism, and sharpens your brain too.
6. Reframe the Picture
Coaching and healing are all about reframing: seeing the situation from another perspective. Seeing the glass half full instead of half empty. Or better yet, seeing the whole glass. By viewing more possibilities, both positive, negative and mixed, you have better chances to choose wisely. Find a good path in the moment to go forward rather than staying stuck.
7. Keep the Big Picture in Mind
Goals and aspirations are by their very nature uplifting. As you face adversities, they can challenge, strengthen and educate you. You then naturally don’t bemoan your fate; instead you realize that you matter just like others do. You can get out of this slump and make a difference. You will lift yourself out of the mud and be the stronger for it. Such a committed approach supports the long-view of purpose, meaning and the happiness it brings.
What would the movie hero do? Become the hero of your own story!
Resilience then is a key skill of turning lemons into lemonade, in effect, letting you live a happier, more productive life. Knowing that you are resilient turns setbacks and failures into opportunities and new perspectives. It fortifies you to be a creator and not a victim.
Beyond Your Comfort Zone: Your Adventure Zone - YouTube
Much of life takes place in our comfort zone. To survive, we need to be safe and protected. We naturally enjoy creature comforts. We also have routines to give us a sense of order and predictability.
But if we spend too much time in the comfort zone, it becomes a waiting room. Then time passes mindlessly and we live more on the surface of life.
Granted different people tolerate different levels of risk. Some are more server types and may smooth things over in their affable ways. Others are more warrior types, and thrive on risk and confrontation. Regardless of where you fall naturally on the spectrum, you still have a balance between safety and risk, the familiar and the new.
If you get too comfortable, you settle. As Abraham Maslow noted, “One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again.”
Your Adventurous Zones
Holistically, there is an adventure zone for your body, emotions and mind.
For example, for your body you can explore different exercises and exercise equipment. For your emotions, you can clear stuck emotions with modalities like holistic EFT. For your mind you can read a new book or take a new training.
And for spirit, be present and watch what happens.
Know Where You Are
The comfort zone is characterized by …
safety and security
in seeming control
The adventure zone is characterized by …
risk, challenge and sometimes danger
the new and novel
Getting Out of Our Comfort Zone
By our forties, we left our familiar secure jobs of architect (Jane) and school teacher (Phillip). Staying comfortable was “burning us out,” in other words, using up our life force unproductively.
Settling for the familiar grew increasingly restrictive, till it felt like a stranglehold on our growth and soul.
Where do you feel your life is too routine and boring?
What’s one thing you can do today that is different and exciting?
Wherever you feel stuck, ask “what else is possible?”
What if you were to smile at the next person you meet or think about?
Hopefully this article has helped you know about the function and boundaries of your comfort zone and the wondrous beyond.
Once you sense where you are and where you want to go, you can venture out taking calculated risks. You can follow some intuitive hunches.
The adventurous zone is filled with possibility, creativity and more…
Welcome to the adventure zone. You can enter at any time, just by going out of patterns like holding your breath for a few moments and slowly exhaling.
Or maybe you can use your non-dominant hand to shave, vacuum, brush your hair or pick something up.