Hello and welcome to THE FEISTY SIDE OF FIFTY,™ the site that celebrates a truly remarkable generation of women. We alpha boomers, now fifty plus but nowhere near matronly, are rockin’ on and still flaunting our famously bodacious spirit and style.
Most young people consider those of us on the far side of fifty to be inflexible. Popular belief has it that, once we cross the half century mark, we become set in our ways—even rigid in certain regards. In truth, we may get a little set in our ways… but rigid? I think not! Actually, we’re more resilient than ever.
As we grow older, life experience and wisdom combine to give us perspective. We’re far less likely to sweat the small stuff (and even some of life’s bigger challenges) because we know we’ve faced similar situations in the past, have lived through them, and came out the other side richer for the experience.
This lesson was brought home to me in a personal way a few years back. I was all excited because our local TV channel had filmed me advising jobseekers with tips and techniques to get their resumes past the scanners and screeners of today’s job market. It had been a while since they’d taped the segment and it was finally scheduled to air on Friday’s evening news.
In anticipation of the event, I sent out a newsletter to the 500+ people on my mailing list. I also contacted the employment center where the segment was filmed so they could spread the word, and I emailed my personal network of friends and other professionals in the job search field. All in all, over 1000 people were told I’d be appearing on Friday’s broadcast.
Finally the big day arrived. I turned on the TV, set the DVR and settled in with eager expectations… and, I’ll confess, a few concerns as well. I worried about my appearance, if I used too many “ums” and “ahs,” or if I articulated my points clearly and succinctly enough. All of these thoughts ran through my mind as the opening credits began to roll.
I knew my segment wouldn’t land in the first batch of stories so I waited through the first commercial, then the second, and, by the time the third one was over, I began to get nervous. It was then that the reporter who had interviewed me started her segment. However, rather than talking about resumes, she began an earnest piece on the hazards of using a barbecue brush.
It took a moment for the realization to sink in—but then it hit me: My segment had been bumped by a grilling tool! The suits at the TV station deemed this a far more appropriate piece to kick-off the weekend and had literally given me the BRUSH off!
I was mortified! No one had told me about the switch and all I could think about were the 1000 plus people who were anticipating my smiling face (which was not so smiling at this point) to make its appearance on the 5 o’clock news. When the phone started ringing and friends asked, “What happened?” I wanted to jump under the covers and never see daylight again.
But, as I wrote at the start of this post, age does gift us with perspective. I’ve been through lots and lots of embarrassing moments in the past and, mercifully, most of them are now lost in the mists of time. And besides—considering all the drama this created in my life that fateful evening, it makes for a far better story anyway. In addition to having understanding friends, I am blessed with one more reason to be grateful: I now know the hazards of using a grill brush!
Age–the older we get the stronger the messages become: you’re no longer attractive, you’re invisible, your health is failing, you are out of style and over the hill. But wait… here comes Barbara Hannah Grufferman with a book that will blast those demeaning and degrading messages to smithereens and even make you love your age!
The book is called LOVE YOUR AGE: The Small-step Solution To A Better, Longer, Happier Life and it belongs on the nightstand of every women who has kissed her half-century birthday goodbye. Moreover, Barbara knows whereof she speaks. She is an author, frequent guest on radio and TV, regular contributor to AARP and Huffington Post, and the Bone Health Ambassador of the National Osteoporosis Foundation. And these are just some of her numerous accomplishments. Most of all, Barbara is on a mission to make our lives after 50 the best they can be.
Barbara joined us on Feisty Side of Fifty Radio to share highlights from this latest, soon-to-be bestseller, LOVE YOUR AGE. She provided insights, tips and the latest science-backed information into ways we can make the most of this special time of life.
Sobe sure to tune in for this inspiring and life-affirming discussion. Like Barbara says: We can’t control getting older . . . but we can control how we do it!
Most women over 50 remember the heart-tugging movie starring Ryan O’Neal and Ali MacGraw. One of the best-known lines from the film claimed, “love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Back in 1970 when Love Story came out we might have bought that line. But from the vantage point of a few years under our belts, we know that particular phrase represented a whopper of mythic proportions! In truth we generally owe the most of our apologies to those we hold near and dear.
But setting close relationships aside for the moment, I do believe that age renders apologies less obligatory. Being on the feisty side of fifty definitely has its privileges, however the “no apology rule” I’m planning to adopt has more to do with HERstory. Let me explain…
We gals grew up with a set of certain ideals regarding proper female behavior—one of the biggest meant being “nice.” Acting with kindness, tending to the needs of others, and apologizing for even the slightest of our indiscretions were all part and parcel of the popularity package… and who among us didn’t want that?
But a few years after Love Story graced the silver screen, the women’s movement was off and running. We learned to speak up for ourselves, make demands for equality, and present our opinions with force. No more mealy-mouthed maidens we—we wanted to assert ourselves! Yet, despite all of the assertiveness classes we attended, the niceness factor remained. We still valued kindness—in fact, for most of us, it was ingrained in our psyches. Unfortunately, the nice factor may have meant far less to future generations.
We all know younger women who reaped the benefits of our struggles for an equal voice. Many went into business, some acquired MBAs. They were given opportunities and competed on a far more equal footing than we could have ever imagined. Moreover a number of these gals had little need for assertiveness training—they are downright aggressive. I’m not sure how they viewed the women’s movement or which lessons they took from our battles for an equal chance at the brass ring, but it seems that displaying kindness must have equated to showing weakness and apologizing was out of the question.
Now, as you know, I’m a huge proponent of the women’s movement and am grateful for all of the strides we’ve made—and I’m not bashing the generation of women who came after us. However I’ve felt personally offended (and I don’t get offended easily) by some of the high-handed ways of our younger sisters. One such incident happened just recently which fired up my reasons for this post. To my mind, this woman did owe me an apology—but not a hint of regret crossed her lips.
So I’ve decided I’m too old and way to feisty to take this stuff from anyone any more. I’m keeping the kindness factor but am losing the apology. I’m hereby vowing to take a cue from these female titans of industry and stop saying “I’m sorry” as liberally as I have in the past. But there is one thing I’d like to teach them: “nice” may be a four-letter word but it’s one they sorely need to adopt and add to their vocabulary. Aggression might work in the boardroom but it surely won’t lead to inner peace, long-term happiness… or popularity!
Simple, easy, and healthy – you’ll never buy store-bought iced tea again!
Unlike other sugary homemade iced teas, this recipe makes use of matcha green tea, giving it a naturally fresh flavor. Different from your regular green tea, matcha comes from the whole tea leaf being stone ground into a fine powder. It also contains over 137 times more antioxidants, which means its packed with all kinds of disease-fighting elements.
When it comes to taste, matcha isn’t like your typical green tea. There’s no bitterness, only a light herbal flavor. And the health benefits? Endless! Apart from being packed with disease-fighting antioxidants, matcha also serves as an energy-booster, and has even proven helpful in promoting weight loss.
1-3 teaspoons Natural Maple Syrup or Honey (sweeten to your taste)
1 quart Water
Start with the matcha mixture. Pour 1/3 cup of hot water into your matcha powder. Stir until the powder completely dissolves.
Add maple syrup or honey. Stir well.
Fill a pitcher with water. Leave space for ice.
Pour the matcha mixture into your pitcher. Stir well.
Fill with ice, sliced fruit, and mint leaves.
Stir, serve, and enjoy!
Note: Remember to purchase top quality matcha green tea powder if you want to receive all of the mentioned health benefits. The best matcha comes from Japan, is a bright green color, and has no bitterness in its taste. Evergreen Matcha is our brand of choice for premium matcha powder. Readers get 10% off the first purchase, plus free shipping across all states. Evergreen Matcha sources their matcha powder directly from Kyoto, Japan so you’re guaranteed of its quality.
Add matcha to your cart and use coupon “1MATCHA” at checkout for your 10% off
Your matcha will be shipped to you (free shipping)
Note: For our Australian readers you can use this same coupon on their Australian brand Zen Green Tea: Buy matcha. Want a free Matcha Recipe book with over 30 healthy recipes delivered to your inbox? Click here.
This geust post was graciously authored by Erin Young. Erin is a health food writer and a tea expert. She owns two tea companies; Evergreen Matcha in the USA and Zen Green Tea Matcha in Australia. She partners with sustainable tea farms in Kyoto, Japan to source her premium matcha green tea powder. Want a free Matcha Recipe book with over 30 healthy recipes delivered to your inbox? Click here.
As a jobseeker today, you are well aware that your resume has to be top notch. Not only does it need to make a dynamic first impression, it must also distinguish you from the competition and present your skills and experience in such a way that you are viewed as the ideal candidate for the job.
There are plenty of resume how-to articles on the web. Yet many miss the three key components that will make this critical document both compelling and deliver your selling points within a brief amount of time. (Studies show that resume reviewers spend 30-seconds or less determining if your resume is worth reading.)
So review your resume and make it market-ready by asking yourself these three questions. You can ensure that you’re highlighting your skills and experience in a powerful way—and doing so within a 30-second scan.
#1) Am I giving my customers what they want?
Make your resume compelling by loading it with skills that sell. Pay particular attention to the keywords you see again and again in the postings for your line of work. These are the hot-button attributes that are most in demand in today’s job market. Moreover, stick with your “hard” skills—your knowledge-based, technical aptitudes. Although “soft” skills (personal strengths like “contributing team-player, highly motivated,” etc.) are important, resumes need to highlight and substantiate your evidence-based accomplishments.
Take the added effort to customize each resume to the position for which you are applying. If you don’t, you’re wasting your time. Employers are providing you with their wish list in the position description. You will want to match this list as closely as possible; otherwise your document will fall short. (There’s no doubt that your competition will be customizing their resumes.) Consider that it’s far better to send out one or two targeted resumes than one hundred that are boilerplate.
Take a look at each of the bulleted statements on your resume and ask yourself, “So what?” By asking this simple question, you will write descriptions that naturally center your statements to highlight the results you’ve achieved. Reviewers want to see the accomplishments you’ve produced, not just a list of job duties. Therefore focusing on your accomplishments will serve to demonstrate that you are capable of achieving the goals and initiatives set forth in the job posting.
#2) Does my resume have the visual appeal it needs to make a positive impact?
Since reviewers spend less than half a minute’s time determining whether or not they’ll read through your resume, you have to make the greatest impact in the least amount of time. Order is critical. In English, we read top-down, left to right. That means your strongest skills and accomplishment statements need to appear to the top and to the left of your document. Wherever you have a skills column or a list of bulleted statements, be certain to order your skills and examples to match the qualifications of the position.
Make sure your document is “eye friendly” by using a good-sized font that is easy to read with liberal use of white space and bullets to highlight your critical skills and examples. Do not use paragraphs (even short ones) to describe your prior work experience. There is no way to identify key skills quickly within dense blocks of text. Remember to write in memo style and place your strongest skill words to the left of each statement.
You can easily determine how quickly your information is coming across by enlisting a friend to give your resume the “30-second test.” Hand them your document and, in about half a minute’s time, request that they hand it back to you. Then ask them, “What do you remember from my resume?” Their responses will bring you real world feedback as to how well your key points are getting across to the reader.
#3) How am I distinguishing myself from the competition?
Be certain you are presenting yourself as the #1 person for the job throughout your resume and don’t forget to incorporate the extras that will set you apart from the pack. One of the best ways to do this is to add a special section underneath your formal education and call it: Ongoing Professional Development. Then list classes and online training you have taken as well as any certificates you’ve received. Using this particular phrase as a heading on your resume will draw positive attention because “ongoing” suggests a desire for lifelong learning–something employers like–and “professional development” says it all. Then you can reference your commitment to keeping current as you network and, most importantly, during your job interview.
By loading your resume with marketable skills, customizing it for each submission, demonstrating the added value you’ll bring to the position and making your document visually appealing, you will give employers what they want. So ensure your document presents you as a winning candidate. The extra effort will go a long way to make you someone who is likely to be called in for that all-important interview and, best of all, potentially earn you the job offer!
Maintaining an active sex life is important for a woman’s health given that it provides physical, mental and spiritual benefits. However, sometimes, there are underlying medical conditions that can affect sexual health, including dyspareunia, the medical term for painful sexual intercourse—a real condition that can result in significant discomfort during intimacy.
Join Dr. Laura Berman, world-renowned relationship educator and therapist, popular TV, radio and Internet host, and New York Times bestselling author, as she shares ways we can enhance our relationships and boost our own sense of general wellbeing by improving intimacy and sexual health.
If you’re a woman over 50, you will want to be sure to hear what Dr. Berman has to say… don’t miss this one!
Unless you are constantly on the road, you spend most of your time inside your house. Plus, that is the place where you entertain guests. So, you have two great reasons to make the interior look classy. However, sometimes you can go over architecture and design magazines a thousand of times without getting a good idea you can actually implement in your own house. Here are some excellent suggestions that could give your home the high-end look you’ve always wanted it to have.
A coat of neutral
If you want to make your home look more elegant and create the perfect canvas for whatever decorating style you choose, you should paint it in neutral shades. These soft understated hues tend to create a more serene and luxurious feel. You can decide for warm neutrals, such as beige and sand, or lean toward a colder palette with light grey.
Create an ambiance
The way your home is lit, says a lot about the contractors you’ve hired and the care you invested into its design. One ceiling fixture in the living room won’t provide you with enough light to create a pleasant ambience; just as one fixture in the kitchen won’t make that space functional. The trick is in layering the lighting by mixing ambiance, task and accent lighting. Also, you should use interesting fixtures as additional décor elements.
Make your lounge and your bedroom comfy
These two rooms play a huge role in how you spend time in your home. The cozier they are, the happier you will be in them. This is done by creating rich textures, using throw pillows, area rugs (faux fur and sheepskin are especially effective) and velvet upholstery. These things combined create a lush and elegant appearance.
Turn your bathroom into an oasis
Homeowners often neglect the bathroom when it comes to décor, and focus mainly on its functionality. For a genuinely luxurious home that’s also functional, you might opt for a classy freestanding bath in which you can fully immerse yourself and relax after a long day. Surrounding yourself with greenery can also help, so don’t forget to add a plant or two in your bathroom as well.
Choose unique hardware finishes
Home improvement stores often offer serially produced hardware (kitchen cabinets’ and bathroom vanities’ handles, knobs and other) at very affordable prices. Their downside is that they look just as cheap as they cost. The good news is that you don’t have to break the bank to find something better. Just visit a flea market, antique shops or some smaller home improvement store and you will be able to find unique and expensive looking finishes.
Strip your floors naked
It’s true that wall-to-wall wool carpets are warm, soft and even pleasant to the eye, but they can never compete with the unparalleled elegance of a hardwood floor. Investing in hardwood flooring, especially some of the more high-end options like exotic wood, French oak, hand-scraped or reclaimed hardwood, makes a wise decision. Not only can they withstand abuse, but they can also increase the value of your property should you decide to sell.
Upgrade the ceilings
Ceilings are an often overlooked design element, but they can truly contribute to the room’s overall feel. One of the best ways to infuse them with sophistication is to add crown molding. This is a relatively inexpensive detail, but it is perfect for making the room seem complete.
Keep it minimalistic
It is OK, and even desirable to accessorize your home, but don’t go overboard. Keep the accessorizing toned down by choosing a few elegant pieces to complement your theme. Metallics are great for adding a sense of glamour, and mirrors and vases are welcome. Avoid cluttering with unnecessary items like old magazines and piled up clothes.
A stylish home doesn’t happen overnight and without effort. Take your time to create the perfect layout, and after you will have all the time in the world to enjoy it.
This post was graciously provided by Cooper Klein. Cooper is an entrepreneur with a degree in Marketing. He’s interested in real estate and home decor. In order to spend more time with his family, Cooper decided to take a break, and he’s currently working from home as a blogger for Smoothdecorator and several other sites.
As any grandparent out there knows, some of the most astute and unique observations about life spring from the mouths of children. Here’s a sampling of responses to nine questions with some rather memorable thoughts regarding marriage and relationships:
1) HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. — Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up whom they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with. — Kristen, age 10
2) WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. — Camille, age 10
3) HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. — Derrick, age 8
4) WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don’t want any more kids. — Lori, age 8
5) WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. — Lynnette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. — Martin, age 10
6) WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? When they’re rich. — Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that. — Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do. — Howard, age 8
7) IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. — Anita, age 9
8) HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there? — Kelvin, age 8
??And the #1 Favorite is…….
9) HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.– Ricky, age 10
Stereotypes exist throughout every stage of our lives. As we grow older, we set more and more into our personalities and character, and we don’t seem ever to change. However, as children and teenagers, our minds grow all the time, and we seem to be constantly changing and developing. This explains why children are much more capable of learning new skills, especially when compared to an elderly person.
It’s been proven though, as we grow older, that we become more embedded into who we are. Scientifically, the more we use certain parts of our brain, the more those neural paths are exercised, becoming. Therefore, the more likely we are to use them, embedded our personality and character, making it less likely for our minds to exercise other parts. Turns out, the saying ‘stubborn old man’, has more science behind it than we previously thought.
This theory is also backed up by various other studies. These studies show that the human brain is ‘inherently lazy’. This means that our brains will always choose the most energy efficient neural paths. That’s only if we unconsciously let it as we may have more control over our minds than we believe. Although due to the ageing of the brain, we won’t be able to learn as quickly as our child counterparts, we will still be able to develop and enhance other areas of our brain. This will result in a more agile brain alongside a tonne of other benefits to our everyday lives.
Hugo Chambers, a science writer for Academized, exclaims, “With regular training alongside a mentality that wants to expand and develop, it’s possible for individuals to start expanding their brains into a growth mindset today. However, your brain is locked into functions it may have been set in for years. It will take willpower and dedication to make the change.”
Benefits of Developing a Growing Mindset
As you can see from above, developing or maintaining a growth mindset is very possible. But, why does a growing mindset benefit us as human beings? We’ll explore some of the reasons below;
Increased Focus & Attention
To open up your mind again to help develop a growth mindset, it’s imperative that we open our minds up again to neural pathways that are unexercised, some of which may not have been actively used for decades. One of the best ways to reactive these pathways is by trying some new. Some of the best and most effective recommendations are to learn a new instrument or to learn a new language. Not only will the skill itself benefit you as a person, the activities and the act of learning will stimulate your brain, making it easier for you to learn something else new. The more you learn, the easier it is for you to learn.
Alice V. Soto, a psychiatrist and well-being Oxessays writer, continues, “Besides learning a new instrument or a new language, there are a ton of ways you can adapt your brain to increase and to help develop a growth mindset. If it’s more suited to you, taking up a new sport or a hobby that always has interested you are a great way to make a start. Set aside an hour a day to this new hobby. You’d be surprised how quickly you notice the benefits.”
Obviously, learning a new skill such as this will require willpower, motivation and dedication but, like learning, the more you try, the more you will succeed.
Repetition is Key
However, imagine you have opted for learning a new language. Once you have learned it, if you were never to use it again, you’ll quickly forget about it. The key to maintaining a healthy and active growth mindset is to repeat over and over again. It is good to have some useful grammar guides, for example, State of writing and Viawriting to check them from time to time and write down forgotten rules and words.
According to one research, it takes 144 days for a human brain to map a new motor cortex, such as the ones create while learning a new language. Again, aspects of human will such as willpower and self-control are needed to acquire and achieve this.
Also, scientifically proven that writing by hand activates our memory and makes us remember things longer. Have you ever noticed that you can forget the proper spelling of some words or even the word itself? It happens sometimes to all of us and there is no wonder why people start to take notes while getting older. Memory refreshing is not that hard as learning from the beginning.
This guest post was graciously provided by Brenda Berg. Brenda is a professional with over 15 years of experience in business management, marketing and entrepreneurship. Consultant and tutor for college students and entrepreneurs at Paperfellows. She believes that constant learning is the only way to success. You can visit her personal blog at Letsgoandlearn.com
As we age, our posture becomes more and more important. Nothing says “old” like rounded shoulders, a shuffling gait and the all too visible signs of gravity’s pull. Slumping isn’t pretty at any age but it’s especially unattractive on the Feisty Side of Fifty.
Enter William Smith, M.S. William is a highly regarded expert providing health and wellness services for a nationally recognized healthcare system in New York. He is also the co-author of a recently released book that every boomer should know. It’s called Exercises for Perfect Posture and is a comprehensive, practical and extremely helpful resource for keeping us standing tall and feeling great.