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Have you ever tried to dream of a perfect day? It can be a challenge doing it while you're in the middle of everything going on in your life. This post should help.
Every person has a story. People say that the quality of our life depends on the quality of our story. With that in mind, it is easy to decide whether you have had a good life or not. All you have to do is tell your story.
If the story you tell includes a lot of good thoughts, feelings, actions, behaviors, laughter, love and joy, give yourself a pat on the back. You've had a great life.
If you tell a story with a lot of negative thoughts, feelings, actions, resentment, sadness, fear, hate and depression, no one envies you. Your life sucks!
In this post, I would like to suggest a 'moving forward' activity. In this activity, you will take yourself forward, to the perfect day and try to imagine, what would happen there that would make you put it into the "perfect" category.
As a parent, I hear the word "boring" a lot. I also heard it a lot as a teacher. There are two main reasons kids use the word "boring":
1. They say "boring" instead of "hard" when they want to hide their difficulties.
2. They want to manipulate their parents and put pressure on them.
Today, I would like to talk about the reasons and solutions for the second type of motivation.
Children learn at an early age that their parents find the word "boring" painful. They know their parents feel uncomfortable when they hear it, so it becomes a "button" to press. This happens when the parents see themselves as being in charge of their children's entertainment.
I am sure you have heard many mothers say that they can't leave their babies on their own for 2 seconds. Those babies grow up to be kids who can't entertain themselves, and later on, they become adults who can't entertain themselves.
Many people will tell you that if you want a better life, you have to be different, think differently and avoid being "just like everyone else". Being part of the majority is not appealing at all, because most people struggle with their daily life, while they dream of a better life.
One way of getting ahead is keeping an open mind and allowing yourself to think "outside the box". People who think outside the box are called "creative". I truly believe that everyone has a creative side, but most people can only access it when they relax.
Here is a beautiful quote that I think is very relevant: The mind is like a parachute. It only functions when it's open.
Wow! So true.
We want to be creative because it makes us very good at solving problems. Creativity makes us find efficient ways to do things. It makes us attractive to others, turns us into entrepreneurs and allows us to express ourselves better. Creativity helps us relieve stress, builds our confidence and more.
33 years ago, when I studied special education, I learned that our thoughts manifest themselves into our life. I had amazing teachers and mentors. One of them, who was a psychologist, taught me the importance of our emotional hygiene as teachers. He said that what we think of ourselves reflects on the children and the people that work with us.
Scientists have examined the power of what we think for years. Many philosophers and spiritual leaders have covered it extensively. Our life is a reflection of what we think. In most spiritual beliefs, there is much focus on thoughts and intention. As a life coach, I work with my clients on the power of thought and I share with them how powerful thoughts are.
About 20 years ago, Gal and I traveled with the kids to France and went to a train station. On the walls was an exhibition of Dr Masaru Emoto's water experiments. Emoto exposed water to music, spoken words, written words, videos and pictures. He then froze the water until it crystalized, sliced it and took photos of the ice. What he found was amazing!
Every parent wants their child to be gifted and talented. We want our kids to be able to manage themselves throughout the challenges of the education process, which takes between 13 and 18 years. My kids have done that, and people who know them often ask, "What have you done to raise such gifted and talented children?"
Recently, I was at an event, where my son Tsoof performed a piece he had written in front of hundreds of people. After the event, some people came to me to congratulate me for his successful performance, and I stood there like a peacock, as if I had played it myself. It felt great, but the real benefit of playing music was in the development of his brain.
I specialize in children with learning difficulties, as well as gifted and talented children. After studying and doing Special Education work for many years, I developed methods to make sure my kids wouldn't develop learning difficulties, and if they did, to get rid of them quickly (I am a great believer in the plasticity of the brain). But beyond that, I used these methods to make them gifted and talented.
I've been in a relationship for 38 years, and I know it's not always easy to speak your truth. When you bring two people together, they both need to compromise a lot and can't easily balance the ratio between "give" and "take".
Just recently, I had the chance to be on my own for 6 weeks when my husband went to drum in Africa. I realized that as partners and parents, we compromise many times, to the point where we might forget who we truly are.
When I say "compromise", I don't mean that anyone has any bad intentions. It happens naturally. When you live with other people, you can't just do what you feel like doing. My son was also in Africa and my youngest daughter, who is 17, spent her time studying and having get-togethers with her friends, so she was not home either most of the time.
During those weeks, I examined 3 of my habits: sleep, eating and fun time. I realized I didn't follow my natural cycles of sleeping, eating or doing fun things when my family members were around, because, first and foremost, I think of their timetable and their needs, and I juggle everyone else into a plan that would work. Me and my cycles are normally not part of the picture.
Don't get me wrong. It was my choice. I just realized I had neglected part of myself.
Many people wait for a chance to be on their own, but when the time comes, they don't know what to do. I think having a list of ideas can be helpful in that situation.
In this post, I have gathered 100 ideas for things to do when you don't know how to entertain yourself. As you can see, I wrote some of the things I did recently. I could easily write 1,000 things, but I'm sure that after 100, you'll get the idea.
You can repeat some of the activities, because you like them more than others. And even if you just pick some of them, you'll have thousands of active and busy hours.
Recently, I had the opportunity to experience being by myself for a whole month. My son and my husband went to Africa for a drumming camp and I stayed home with my youngest daughter. She is 17 years old, independent and enjoying her time off between finishing high school and starting acting school, so I was mostly by myself, but I did not have a boring moment.
The last time Gal was away was over 12 years ago, when he went to be with his mother on her last hours and I stayed home with 3 kids. My youngest was 5 years old and I was not by myself at all.
Surprisingly, most of the people who knew Gal was away asked me how I managed being by myself. I didn't really understand the question.
They asked me if it wasn't boring to be on my own.
Some people think that talent is the only thing we need to succeed in life. I thought so too when I was young. I was very talented in gymnastics and I thought that talent was the only thing I needed. It was very hard for me to realize that talent was just a baseline and guaranteed nothing.
I'm all for helping our children find their talent, but finding it, and even pursuing it, is not enough for success. They need something more.
Not long ago, I had the honor of working with two amazing young athletes on the Australian Olympic team. They were both equally talented and had all the physical skills, but one of them had what it takes to succeed, and the other didn't.
Working with them reminded me of my Olympic team adventure as a child and why talent is not enough for success.
Believe it or not, if you make your bed in the morning, it will make your day. You'll be happier, clearer and more productive. There's research showing it's true.
I have been on a search for family tips from the moment I had children. Almost 30 years ago, becoming a mother made me realize that efficiency can help me a lot in managing work and home, and that being efficient gave me more time with my kids.
As parents, we need to choose how to balance our time across many important things. Slowly, we tend to let go of some things we care about for other things we find more important.
In my leadership training, I emphasize that life is not hard when we need to choose between things that are very important and things that are less important. That's an easy choice! It is much harder to choose between things that are equally important to us. When children appear, we have to do that a lot, and that's not easy.