I've been making big hole beads and I've been silver coring some of them. This isn't the first time I've done this - I've just dug out this post from 2007, and this one too, where I describe the tricky process of bashing silver tubing about with a hammer and dapping punches whilst it's surrounded by a glass bead. If you're thinking that sounds bad, it was, hence why I never made any more silver cores. I had another go at uncored big hole beads in 2008 as you can see in this post but clearly I lost interest very quickly after that.
I think what's made me have another go at big hole beads is the fact I've been making larger beads. I recently started faffing with the disc shaper I bought about three years ago but had never really used, and I found that going up a mandrel size (from 1/16" to 3/32") made the shaping of them easier. Using larger mandrels always results in making larger beads. I needed a big hole bead to turn one of the discs into a necklace so I dusted off my 5mm mandrels (I do love mixing my imperial and metric measurements) and had a play. I always say that the glass never stops teaching you things and I can tell you that I've learned a lot about the way glass moves since 2008 and now I find making neat, non-wonky big hole beads much easier than I used to. Back in 2007 I wanted to make a scrolly silver core bead but I never got there but I made this very thing happen last week. Never stop trying people! Practice and persistence goes a long way.
My friend Kathy (go look at her website and fall in love with her skill and brilliance) kindly let me borrow her bead liner so I could have a go at silver coring my beads and aaahh, the relief. Simple physics and pressing the silver into place works way, way, way better than beating the shit out of it with heavy tools. Now I can't stop making big hole beads and coring them. I'm only about ten years behind the times, and the local Trollbeads shop in Cambridge closed a few weeks back but hey, I catch up in the end.
In other news...
I cast on a sock on Saturday afternoon. I've not knitted socks for yonks. I've made several hats recently, none of which have been blocked or worn, but on Saturday I got the sock urge. My friend Shona (who works in a wool shop - can you imagine?!) sent me some yarn last year and one of the balls was this Opal sock yarn. I've never knitted with Opal before but it's working up lovely.
I must remember to post a photo of the finished pair when they're done.
I've become slightly houseplant-obsessed. My parents-in-law gave me an orchid a while back and after some reading up on orchids I managed to keep it alive all through its dormant season and it grew two new flower spikes and bloomed again. In fact, its still got flowers, although it's started to go over a bit.
This is Harold. Isn't he pretty?
Then my friend Jen gave me a camellia for my birthday. I can't see myself harvesting its leaves to make tea because they are so beautifully green and glossy, so it lives inside and is obviously happy because it did its first flower last week. Such an amazing scent!
I then got myself a chain of hearts plant to sit on top of the tall bookshelf, and shortly after that I bought my annual cyclamen plant. That's dormant at the moment but I'm looking after it in the hope that it blooms again. It's growing new leaves so that's a good sign.
I've also recently acquired a succulent and an aloe vera. I've come to think of all of these houseplants as botanical pets, all with their own characteristics, quirks, likes and dislikes, and I'm enjoying tending to them and learning about them. Our tiny lounge looks like a garden centre now but I like it.
Finally, I'm on a roll with my daily step count. I did RED January where I ran every day for the whole month and I made sure I did at least 10,000 steps a day which meant that on the days where I'd only run 1.5 miles (about 3000 steps) I went out for a walk later in the day to make my steps up and I managed to stick to my step goal for the whole month. Although I loved running every day in January, I do like my running rest days, and it's sensible to have them, so I've not been running every day this month, but I have been keeping up with doing at least 10,000 daily steps.
What I loved about RED January was the positive effect it had on my mental health. Running every day gave me a challenge, lots of endorphins and most importantly, I think, my own time to switch off from everything. We all need to do this. We spend so much time plugged into the internet and social media, staring at screens (she says, typing a blog post) and getting caught up with other people's lives and goings-on, that sometimes we forget to take a breather. Even though I'm not running every day, I treat my walks as I do my runs - on both of them I leave my phone at home, or if I want to listen to music or an audiobook or podcast I take my phone with me but switch it to do not disturb, and I don't check it while I am out. If I use my phone to photograph a duck or a flower or whatever, I ignore any notifications I see on the home screen, take the pic, and put my phone away again. This is doing wonders for my brain. I've seen a significant reduction in my anxiety, my mood is way better and I don't get as stressed out as easily as I used to.
At the end of last year I was living in a constant state of anxiety and I was having panic attacks two or three times a week. I'd been living like that for a couple of years and it was horrible. I was due to start CBT for PTSD at the start of the year but on the day of my first CBT session, I woke up in a really good mood. The thought of going to meet a total stranger and having to splurge out all my darkest experiences and thoughts to them, inevitably resulting in uncontrollable sadness and much crying, seemed absolutely mad to me, so I called and cancelled the appointment. I made myself a promise to carry on with my daily runs and walks while switching off from the world and that if I felt myself losing control of my anxiety I would sign up for CBT again. I've only had one panic attack so far this year and I was able to calm myself down by doing some exercises that I read about in a PTSD CBT book I read, so it's going well thus far.
It's not easy to get 10,000 steps in every day when you work from home and hardly ever have anywhere to be except a 6' x 8' shed, Tesco Express or the Post Office queue. The challenge and resulting feel-good satisfaction of making my Garmin's step counter turn green every day is some kind of magic.
I've been making only pumpkin beads for ten days now.
See? Look at them all.
And this isn't even all of them. These are just the ones I could be arsed to photograph.
And there's another batch in the kiln as I type this.
Anyway, I've just about had my fill of pumpkins so if you'd like pumpkin beads or pendants, what's left in the shop is probably the last of them for this year.
I've just looked and I last posted in July. Since then, amongst other things, I have run a half marathon and turned forty-one. Last time I blogged I was halfway through Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. Well, I finished that and now I've read all of the Harry Potter books and Hogwarts library books (and have started re-reading them), watched all the Harry Potter films - as well as Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them - and I now own a wand, some Hedwig pyjamas and a Gryffindor sweatshirt. So yeah, you can call me a convert. I've also finished the new Strike book. Job done.
Harriet’s book contains case studies from the worlds of fashion, ceramics, perfumery, sculpture, bakery, upholstery, photography, lino cuts, jewellery and beadmaking. I’m the beadmaking case study. The book is very comprehensive and I have picked up some useful tips and advice from it. It's also really great to read about other creative people and the way they work. The book is available on Amazon and all the usual places, and also from Harriet's website.
Strictly Come Dancing is underway. I don't watch it but I know that when it's here we are on the downward slope to Christmas and it's time for me to start thinking about festive beads and all that, so that is what I will be working on next. Deck the halls etc blah blah blah.
I've not got a lot to report on the bead front. It's not so much that I haven't been making beads, but more that I've been making lots of the same beads over and over.
I made lots of the 'Shoreline' hearts pictured above and I turned some of those into necklaces.
Now I'm in on the Bumblebeads. I don't know how many of these I'll make. To be honest, sitting in the shed in these temperatures, making the same bead over and over again is already starting to do my head in and I've only spent two beadmaking sessions on the bees, so I'm not holding out much hope for vast amounts of them.
That's why I'm not taking orders for the bees. I've found that I can bear the shed heat until it hits about 36C and then my brain gives up which makes my hands give up so that's why I'm only making as many as I can make. I appreciate that people are disappointed that they can't order as many of the bees as they like, when they'd like to, but hey, you should have realised that I'm an awkward pain-in-the-arse beadmaker (and person in general) by now. You can tut at me and call me ridiculous - it's fine.
I did make a one-off red heart bead that I love. The glass here is CiM Heartthrob and it's such a glorious shade of red.
In other news, running in the heat is HARD. I ran seven and a bit miles in it yesterday morning and sweet flipping Jesus, it was difficult. The heat has got me to the point where I'm walking back from runs in my sports bra like some kind of runstrumpet and I don't even care. We're due to have this weather for another fortnight so I'm not discounting the idea of actually running in my bra at some point.
I finished reading J.K. Rowling's The Casual Vacancy and oh my word, that is some moving stuff. The book is like a cross between a gentle Sunday night BBC1 drama and Trainspotting. After that I read Cara Hunter's Close to Home, which is gripping, compulsive reading and quite short, and it's good but I'd only give it four stars due to its ending.
I also listened to the audiobook of Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman. I'd seen so much talk about it that I had to see what all the hype was about. I was expecting it to be typical chick-lit, but it's not really. Well, the general feel of the book is quite chick-lit I suppose, but the main character is an unusual one which made for a refreshing change. Well worth a read or a listen, I'd say.
Last night I started the first of the Harry Potter books. I know I'm even more behind in this than I was with the House-watching thing but I was missing J.K. Rowling's writing so much I just had to Potter up. I'm about a third of the way through The Philosopher's Stone and I'm really enjoying it.
Right, enough tippy-tappy-typing as my Dad-in-law calls it - I must go and make Bumblebeads. Enjoy the weather, if you like that sort of thing, and if you don't, stay cool.
Hayfever has floored me this week. I've suffered with it for years but every year is different. The last couple of summers haven't been too bad for me but this week has been a very sneezy, very eye-itchy one, and I cannot believe the tiredness. I've been like a red-eyed, nose-rubbing zombie. The tiredness is something to do with histamine and the immune system or something (I don't know - I'm not Gregory House) and it's really knocked me sideways. The hayfever tablets don't help with the tiredness. If you read the leaflet inside a box of hayfever tablets - even the 'non drowsy' type - one of the most common side effects is drowsiness and fatigue.
As such, I've not made that many beads. In fact, I only managed two sets. Bit rubbish, but I figured not driving a propane torch whilst I was struggling to keep my eyes open was the safe option.
In other news, I'm addicted to House. Yes, I'm aware it's not 2004 anymore but I like to come to these things in my own time. (Maybe I'll watch Game of Thrones when I'm in my seventies?) I'm almost through season two of House and I'm limiting myself to a maximum of two episodes a day because there's only a finite amount of them.
Bit of a short post, I know, but some words are better than none, right?
I know this sounds terribly selfish of me, but I truly am bead-happiest when I'm making the beads I love to make. This week I've made some of the best beads I've ever made, as far as skill and technique are concerned. The beads pictured in this post are just over 11mm in diameter and I thoroughly enjoyed the challenge of getting the designs and encasing methods to work on such a small scale. Some of the beads - the purple and grey-blue ones - are double-encased; they have opaque cores which are then wrapped in a coloured transparent and then the whole thing is encased in a thin layer of clear. Getting that right, with no core 'bleed', or over-encasing at the bead holes, is not the easiest task. The double-encasing is nice, though, as it allows me to use denser, more saturated colours that look lovely when used in a thin application, and that final layer of clear seems to give extra shine.
One might think that small beads are quicker to make than bigger ones, what with them using less glass and all, but infactually, they take me longer. I already work at a weary slug's pace, but working smaller requires even slower working. The core beads for those double-encased ones start off at about 4mm long by about 1mm thick - too much heat and you'll boil the heck out of a glob of glass that small, and boiling means bubbles and bubbles mean Water Jug of Death.
This week, someone said to me that it's a shame I don't make bigger beads. Truth is, I struggle to do so. Lentils, hearts and blown hollows aside, 14mm diameter is generally as big as I go. I've spent years honing the designs and patterns that I think make my beads mine, and over the years those designs and patterns have got tighter and more refined (oh, I wish I could say the same for my thighs) and if I were to try and translate them to larger beads they would look 'wrong'. Dots would need to be bigger and stringer would need to be thicker. My scroll design - and it is a design; my scroll beads are pretty much all the same, save a couple of tiny add-on space-filler swirls here and there - would need reworking and I'm not sure I want to rework it. Small beads are my thing.
Eagle-eyed bead watchers may have noticed my price increase this week. I make a conscious point of not following other beadmakers or looking at their work (this sounds absolutely horrible of me, I know, but there is a very valid reason for this which I will discuss another time) so I have no idea what prices people sell their work for, but I had a quick peruse of Etsy last weekend after Chris questioned what I was going to price some beads at. I was so shocked. People tell me all the time I undercharge but crikeyflip, I've been undercharging so very much, and I'm afraid this has had to change. Had I not listened to Chris, I'd have sold five hours' worth of work for £27.00 and I think you'll agree with him that this was not viable. Pricing your own work is always difficult and putting prices up is even harder but I had to do so.
In other news, I've spent the last two days in a barn in a little Cambridgeshire village. The barn has been converted into a theatre and each summer the local Gilbert & Sullivan group put on a show there. I'm not in the show, and I know diddly-squat about Gilbert & Sullivan, but one of the fellas from our local archaeology group has done the lighting at the theatre for the last eleven years and he needed some assistance putting up the lights, so I volunteered to help.
I went up to the top of this tower once and that was enough
It's been two days of moving and climbing ladders and scaffold towers, pulling theatre lights up to the rafters, plugging them all in and checking they work, and then positioning and adjusting them. It was hard work but fun.
I'll be back in the shed tomorrow. I'm quite looking forward to sitting down all day after two days of theatre lighting shenanigans.
I'm well and truly back in the beady swing of things. In this post I'm going to prattle on about the last couple of weeks and here and there I'll drop in some photos of beads I made during May here to pretty the post up.
CiM Oobleck with black and white
Most of the month was spent catching up with trying out new-to-me Creation is Messy colours, and seeing how they work and what they are like to use. I've mostly been making these little 'potpourri' sets because the variety of beads within them allow me to get a feel for what the glass will and won't do in various applications. For example, a glass that works well as a base might not work well as stringer. This is the case for CiM Mermaid (not a new glass, I know) which looks marvellous as a spacer or encased as a base bead, but spreads when used as stringer. Sometimes you can use that effect to your design advantage. Glasses which do the whole stringer spready thing normally make weird two-tone dots and spots too, where they get a dark patch in the middle. So it's that kind of thing that I look for when testing new glass.
'Portillo' Potpourri featuring CiM Harvest and Mermaid
Sometimes you get a glass that does everything really well. CiM Harvest is one of those. It's a glorious streak-free orange that works equally well for base beads and stringer, where it retains its uniform colour and crisp edges.
One of the CiM colours that totally passed me by was Pixie. This is a bright blueish green and it's fab when its encased but it sort of reacts with itself if you faff with it too much; it feathers and webs on itself. Because of this it is absolutely pointless trying to use it for the kind of stringerwork that I do.
'Seafoam' Potpourri featuring CiM Pixie
That's the thing with glass; you have to use it, learn what it does, make a mental note of its quirks, and then store all those notes away in your bead brain files because one day one of those quirks will be just the thing you need to create the particular effect you're after.
My bead brain files are beginning to overflow. It's why I keep my Tumblr full of glass recipes. I have a very good memory but fourteen years' worth of beadmaking (which must equate to absolutely thousands of beads) has me saying "What glass did I use for those ones?" or "What did I actually do to get that effect?" more often than I'd like. I wish I could back up the bead department of my brain to a hard drive, or download it every now and then so I have a copy of it, but sadly the technology for this does not yet exist. To get around this, I'm going to do the next-best thing - I'm going to write the book I've been tentatively threatening to write for yonks now.
I’ve always intended to write down all the stuff I know about lampworking but this past month or so I’ve come to the decision that it’s actually time to pull my finger out and get on with really doing it. “I’m going to write a book” sounds a bit pretentious, doesn’t it? Like I have things to say that people might want to read. The thing is, I think I do. I’m entirely self-taught and everything I know I have found out for myself through mistakes, hard work and learning from the glass. Do that for fourteen years and you’re bound to accumulate valuable beadmaking information.
So what’s the plan?
I’m going to get the bulk of the thing written and the tutorial photography sorted. When that’s done, I’m thinking I will crowdfund it on something like Kickstarter or Unbound or somewhere, so people can pledge to buy the finished article and I can get it printed into an actual factual book. I’m very keen on it being a real book you can hold, as opposed to a PDF or digital thing as these are open to unauthorised sharing. The working title for the book is ‘Everything I Know About Making Lampwork Glass Beads’ and that’s exactly what it will be. There will be step-by-step tutorials and information on all aspects of making and selling lampwork beads. It will be written from my point of view and my personal experience so it’s not a general ‘how to’ guide as such; it will literally be all my bead knowledge put together into a book. So if you want to know about making borosilicate beads, goddess beads or selling at craft fairs, this will not be the book for you because I don’t do any of those things. Does that make sense?
I've made a start on the book. There is a plan thing all typed up which lists all the areas I want to cover. And there are many. There is to be much typing in my future and this book is not going to be some flimsy thirty-four page pamphlet. I've had so much positive feedback about my book plan so far, with many lovely people telling me they're going to buy it, but it's going to take me a while to write it. I'm not putting a time or deadline on it because times and deadlines and I do not mix, but please know that I am working on it. Thank you for all your encouragement and enthusiasm. I will keep you all posted with updates and news of how the book is coming along.
In other news (this is becoming like some kind of regular blog-closing feature), I've finished all the Cormoran Strike books and am eagerly awaiting the release of the fourth one as I am absolutely hooked. I'm now reading (actually reading with my eyes, and not listening to) J.K. Rowling's The Casual Vacancy which is as addictive as Branston pickle Mini Cheddars. I've never jumped aboard the Harry Potter train but I'm in love with Rowling's work. I know I'd probably love Harry Potter too and I shall read them one day.
I'm still moving my legs at semi-speed on a regular basis and on Monday I completed my first ten mile run. Ten miles! I've written about that here if you fancy a read. I've got a quarter marathon (6.5 miles) on Sunday so all being well I will have another medal to add to my fledgling medal collection.
I'm off for a gentle three mile jog now and then I shall spend the rest of the day in the shed. See you later!
Remember the spiral stringer bead from the last post? Well, here it is as part of its set. That vibrant acid yellow-green is new CiM 'Oobleck' and I will be writing more about it shortly, along with my thoughts on a few of the other new Creation is Messy colours.
I'm still getting back into the beadmaking after a couple of months away from it. I don't think I posted about it here, but I gave up my archaeology degree. Here's what I posted on my Facebook page about this:
"You know how you shouldn’t do something if it makes you unhappy? If you’re not happy in a relationship, or your job, or just in your general life situation, we’re advised to change it if we can, right? Because life’s too short and all that. Well, I’ve made a change and… I am no longer a student.
I started my archaeology degree because I wanted to learn more about the subject and I wanted to get myself a qualification that would allow me to get a good and interesting job if I wanted to at some point in the future. The course started off OK. I was loving it and I was doing well as far as grades go. However, in about November I began to hate it. I hated the workload, the pressure, the having to write in a totally unnatural, wanky academic fashion (if I’d done uni when I was supposed to, I’d probably have found academic writing as a 40 year old a lot easier), and I began to hate the subject. I began to hate it to the point where watching history and archaeology programmes made me feel sick. In fact, I couldn’t watch them because I felt like some kind of fraud. How could I watch Alice Roberts enthusing over some old coins or a fossilised Viking turd, when inside me I had this gnawing “I don’t want to be doing this degree” feeling?
I have a shelf full of utterly fascinating archaeology and history books that I haven’t had time to read properly because I was only using them to scan through and pick out relevant references and quotes. That’s a waste of books.
I said to myself I’d give the first few months of my second year a go and see how I felt. Well, I did that and I felt bad. There’s no fun in reading stuff that makes absolutely no sense to you, no matter how much you translate it and use the BBC Bitesize website to help you try and understand it. And when you have to regurgitate all that stuff your eyes have read but your brain didn’t understand, in the form of 8000 words written in the absolutely correct way, well… basically I was buggered. Yes, I could have struggled on. Yes, I could have just done the best I could for the next two years, but you know what? When I can’t sleep for worry, when I keep getting styes (my number one “You are run down, Laura” signal), when I want to vom every time someone asks me how the degree is going, when I feel that weight of dread in my stomach whenever I look at any of the books or papers, and when I simply feel so unhappy every day, it is not worth it.
I thought vocalising my “I want to quit” thoughts to my husband would make me feel like a failure. But I don’t. I know I’ve made the correct decision because of the feeling of utter relief and lightness I’ve experienced since quitting. I had a go at being a uni student. I thoroughly enjoyed some of it. My love for archaeology and history remains, but now I will learn about it in my own way, in my own time, and without having to cite every single ruddy thing I ever want to communicate. (Tits to you, Harvard referencing!)
TL;DR – I quit my archaeology degree because it was making me unhappy."
So there you go. Back to the beads I go. I have missed them and I even tidied up the shed last week!
My workbench, before and after the tidy-up
My shed is still the same undecorated and unfancy wooden box it's always been, but it's a lot more uncluttered than it was. Here are some of the beads I've made post-tidy:
In other news, I'm still running. I don't know what I'd have done without my running during the whole degree worry stuff. It kept me sane. I ran my first 10K race last month and in September I'm doing a half marathon. You can read all about my running over on my running blog if you like, and I've set up an Instagram account for all my red-sweaty-faced running pictures.
This week's shed listening has been The Cuckoo's Calling by Robert Galbraith/J.K. Rowling. I listened to the third book in the Cormoran Strike series, Career of Evil, after watching the BBC adaptations of the first two stories, so then I went back to listen to the actual books.
Gratuitous photo of Tom Burke as Cormoran Strike
The books are far more detailed than the television programmes and you learn way more about the characters. I'll be getting The Silkworm when my next Audible credit comes through. The Strike audiobooks are narrated by Robert Glenister and he does a marvellous job of it.
Right! Off to the shed for me. Its black and white today, I think, possibly with a splash of that Oobleck thrown into the mix.
Yesterday was a bit of a meh shed day. I just couldn't seem to get going. I had a colour combination all sorted and I knew what I wanted to make but my brain and hands were embroiled in some kind of conflict, as described in this tweet:
Applying a trail of fine stringer in a spiral around a bead is a pretty straightforward technique and it's one that I've done thousands of times but yesterday, it just wasn't working. Well, it was, but as far as my brain was concerned, it wasn't working correctly.
I've written umpteen times about how picky I am with my work. Every time I do, people leave lovely comments and assure me that my work is fine and that the beads are handmade and they're not supposed to be 'perfect' and all that. I put the word 'perfect' in inverted commas then because I've personally never described my work as such. I'm a perfectionist, yes, but in the sense that I try to make a bead as best as I can possibly make it; I'm not actually striving for perfection.
Yesterday, I tried and tried to make a 'correct' spiral bead and after the five failed attempts that ended up in the water jug - and that's not counting the attempts that didn't make it past the base bead or encasing stage, then through to the stringer application one - I eventually made the spiral bead I was after. I did put three not-quite-right attempts in the kiln, though, as I knew I wanted to write about this ridiculousness to give you a glimpse into my crazy.
Here is the 'correct' bead:
And here are the three beads that I rejected but didn't kill:
You might be able to see why I rejected them, but if not, I'll explain. From left to right...
The first bead was rejected because the spiral is not 'tight' enough; the gaps between the wraps are too wide apart for my liking.
The second bead is okay stringer-wise but the base bead has an irksome glitch in in where the grey glass did a striation thing.
The third bead was rejected as it just doesn't look balanced to my eye. I also wasn't happy with where I melted the stringer off; the tail end (on the left hand side of it) isn't close enough to the bead hole.
So what am I trying to illustrate with this post? Is it to get an "Oh, Laura, you're such a perfectionist" reaction? Or am I in some way being superior, trying to say that I'm so pernickety - far more pernickety - than many other people with my work? No, absolutely not. I'm trying to show you that this is why I say no so much. It's why I say no to commissions and no to remakes. If I can spend so very long trying to make what is a very basic-looking bead, which I will sell for about three quid (you do the laughable maths there; minimum wage doesn't come anywhere near it) how can I possibly commit to commissions and remakes?
Am I complaining? No. Because this is just how my brain works. It's what makes my beads my beads. Is there a medical term for my prohibitive bead pickiness? Probably, yes. Is it tied up with all the other annoying things my brain puts me through like my constant anxiety and my awkwardness in doing general life things? Almost definitely. I accepted these annoying aspects of my me-ness long ago; some days I struggle with them, but other days I embrace them. Just as these complicated brain quirks make my beads my beads, they also make me me, and I kind of like that.
Today I'm intending to finish the set that this spiral bead is part of. I'll keep you posted...
A few months ago I made the decision to remove my PDF tutorials from my website.
Why did I do this?
There are several reasons:
Firstly, I felt that the tutorials were a little outdated; I produced them years ago and the photos were taken at what is now considered a very low-res. I was no longer happy with the tutorials and the presentation of them.
Secondly, I just do not have the time anymore to offer email advice and assistance to everyone who writes to me with regards to issues they're having with a tutorial.
Thirdly, I got disillusioned with the whole lampwork-PDF-tutorials-as-a-thing thing. I used to charge for them, and then I didn't. (A few years back, HMRC were talking about having to pay a tax on digital downloads and I couldn't be arsed with extra admin, so I made them free.) Some folk sell their tutorials for crazy money. Some people write tutorials for free so magazines can publish them and take the financial rewards for them. (THIS IS NOT OK.) In the past I have written tutorials for magazines where I have been paid, but nowhere near enough. So basically, the whole tutorial thing had started to bug me.
Lastly, I got a tad peeved with people just expecting stuff for free. People email me or leave comments asking me how I make particular beads, and suggesting I write more tutorials or make videos for this bead or that bead, or showing a certain technique. A few years back I added a PayPal donation button to my tutorials page and in the whole time it was there, and out of the thousands upon thousands of visitors to that page, only two people used it.
I intend to re-photograph and update my tutorials at some point. I don't know when that will be because my university work has taken over my life right now and bead tutorial photography is not a quick and easy thing to do properly, but when I do it, I will probably sell the tutorials as some kind of combined eBook or something, perhaps with some new ones added in. In the meantime, the tutorials are not available on my website, or by email.
I know that me making the tutorials unavailable has annoyed some people (they wrote and told me so) and fair enough - I can be annoying, but ultimately, these are my beads and my work, and this is my business. With my beads I have always done what I feel is right for me personally. I don't expect everyone to understand this, but thank you to those who do.