"Raw cacao is a powerful heart opener that paves the way to transformation through self-love" -Ruby Warrington of The Numinous
Raw cacao has been used as a health elixir and in ancient ritual for thousands of years, originating back to Mayan and Aztec traditions. Because of active ingredients that release feel good hormones, cacao is called a heart opener. Whether you use cacao in sacred ceremony or simply as an afternoon pick me up or morning energy boost, this superfood is packed full of nutrients and health benefits.
We've developed a sexy smoothie bowl to enjoy the benefits of cacao outside of ceremony whenever we need some of that raw cacao love :)
Buying lingerie for someone else isn't always easy, but we have a few tried and true tricks up our sleeve to help you pick the perfect gift.
First off, you can't go wrong with black. It's super sexy, flattering on all skin tones and easy to mix and match.
Next, bigger busts usually require underwire, smaller busts can do wireless. For sizing, take a peek in her underwear drawer to find out her size or e-mail us a picture at firstname.lastname@example.org and we'll be able to figure it out for you. We're pros now ;)
When it comes to sizes for bottoms, when in doubt, bigger is better. No woman wants the dreaded muffin top effect.
Bodysuits are the perfect gift because they are versatile, special and something you wouldn't necessarily splurge on for yourself. Also, sizing is much easier to figure out. Kimonos, nightgowns and PJ's are another easy option to consider where sizing won't be an issue.
If you don't want to choose for her, you can always opt for a gift certificate and let her decide!
Our favourite gift ideas for every woman on your list below:
Alice Kass turns four and we're celebrating our anniversary with a two week holiday pop up shop in Downtown Montreal and the launch of our Goddess gift set! Join us at Les Cours Mont-Royal from November 28th to December 12th for the latest Alice Kass concept; the Goddess Experience.
We're bringing our unique brand of female empowerment and lingerie from url to irl alongside Montreal designers Aleur and The Bow Jewelry. Over the course of two weeks you are invited to discover our latest designer lingerie, luxe loungewear by Aleur and warrior goddess jewelry by The Bow so you can treat yourself, your bff or your lover just in time for the holidays!
At Alice Kass our mission is to inspire and empower women to connect to their sensuality through self-love and lingerie, encouraging all women to get in touch with their inner goddess. So we decided to create a gift box dedicated to igniting your inner goddess and will be launching it at the event!
The Goddess box is the perfect gift to treat and pamper any woman in your life, especially yourself! With female empowerment as the driving force behind every Alice Kass endeavour, the Goddess gift box showcases pieces meant to evoke a woman’s inner power and remind her to celebrate her sensuality and beauty whenever she feels like it.
Best-selling Alice Kass bodysuit by Bluebella because there is nothing like lingerie (especially ultra flattering bodysuits) to make a woman feel beautiful, sexy and confident (115$)
Silk eye mask by Aleur because nothing says self-care like silk and beauty sleep (65$)
14k Gold Plated Earrings from the Mata Hari collection by The Bow jewelry (115$)
How To Love perfume by JS Parfums, a luxury Montreal perfumer with synesthesia (15$)
The deluxe Goddess box is available at the pop up shop for 250$ (310$ value) from November 28th to December 12th 2018 and online. A Goddess starter kit will also be available for 125$ (165$ value).
Location: Les Cours Mont Royal (Peel metro), on the second floor next to the Barbie exhibit
Come by to shop holiday gifts, hang out with us in person and enter our biggest giveaway yet! If you stop by during the day, we'll be giving impromptu goddess card readings because they are our latest obsession and so inspiring :)
Regardless of our faith or lack thereof, we're all familiar with Adam and Eve and the story of creation... but have you heard of Lilith, Adam's first wife? If you thought Eve was a badass for eating the forbidden fruit wait until you find out about Lilith.
Often deemed a succubus (or female night demon), Lilith was the O.G. feminist rebel, claiming her pleasure and freedom and refusing to be dominated by her husband (or even God for that matter). She was created at the same time as Adam but they couldn't see eye to eye so she bounced from the Garden of Eden to go do her own thing. Of course she was demonized thereafter as many assertive, powerful, self-honouring women are, but we like to think of her as a total role model.
The floral and leaf details on the otherworldly Nikita bodysuit by Bluebella (pictured in the cover photo) instantly reminded me of the Garden of Eden and was the perfect starting off point for this visual story. Lilith Rising features our latest lingerie by Bluebella and Lonely lingerie and jewelry by The Bow and is an ode to all the powerful women that take pride in their pleasure and aren't afraid of being their authentic, multifaceted selves.
I’ve never been big on the whole relationship thing. But after the last year of my life where I’ve been on this pretty intense spiritual journey I’ve finally started to toy with the idea of calling in a soul mate. There are so many reasons why my heart has been closed to it but mainly I have this belief that once in a relationship, a woman basically dies. Very dramatic, I know. I’m an aries and half mediterranean, we have a lot of fire. My biggest fear is to lose myself and my identity once I ‘fall’ for a man. I’ve seen it happen, to so many women around me, myself included. We start off badass, independent, doing our thing, speaking our minds. Then, once we start liking someone, we second guess our text messages. We speak up less about things that matter to us. We start building our schedules around his and making ourselves available for when he might want to see us…
We try to be what we think he is looking for, often subconsciously, and even if we are aware, we cannot prevent it from happening.
So I figured, let’s just avoid this altogether and stick to surface dating. Or no dating at all. But at the end of the day, I’m human. I crave intimacy and connection. I want to be seen, cared for, appreciated. I want to have all the feels for someone! Is it possible to love another and have yourself too? My mission when it comes to love and relationships is to maintain my independence, authenticity and integrity but still be vulnerable, caring, giving and open.
On my pursuit of enlightenment in this regard I did a lot of research, listened to a lot of podcasts, asked a lot of questions, subtly probed women in various types of relationships and finally spoke to a specialist in the domain. Who better to help me on my quest than love coach Diana Eskander! I first encountered her glowing presence at a day retreat organized by Goss Club in Montreal. When I heard there was a love coach speaking I was a little skeptical, expecting her to talk about all the mistakes women make when it comes to men and how to be more appealing to a man by pretending to be something we’re not. Pretending to not care, pretending to need help with some sort of physical labour, dumbing ourselves down so he can feel more manly. Those kinds of trite pieces of advice that every dating book subtly or not so subtly suggests is the problem with today’s strong independent woman. “Just be a damsel in distress, your prince will come”. I’ve always had a problem with that type of shit. And maybe it is part of why I am perpetually single. I like to think I just have discerning taste. I’m still working through my stuff and I am aiming to find a partner that will appreciate my strength and independence, not be turned off by it.
Diana blew my mind and my expectations out of the water. First of all she literally radiates, it makes no sense, she’s a glowing goddess. Also her whole practice is founded on the premise of self-love, self-worth, mindfulness and empowering her clients to learn to trust themselves so that they eventually won’t need her anymore.
A few months ago she came by our place and we talked self-love, getting into alignment, meditating with a baby around, brain heart coherence, how to stop spiralling, and so much more.
Below are some of the highlights from our conversation. Keep reading for tips on how to stop spiralling, how to connect with a guy that doesn't like to do the whole feelings thing and how to take mental space in a relationship. Plus, she is generously offering the Alice Kass #goddessgang a discount for her new program, The Conscious Love Blueprint. Scroll to the bottom for details!
Tell us a bit about what you do! What is a love coach?
I’m a love coach and the biggest part of my business is working with women one on one for coaching but I also do public speaking and host workshops and retreats and I just created an online program The Conscious Love Blueprint. I work with people to help them reach their ideal of what a relationship is to them and that really requires doing some digging and getting really specific about their vision and then how do you align to this vision, so what thoughts are not serving you anymore, break some of those patterns align your words and actions. So it’s a foundation of self-love and mindfulness and you cannot have a conscious relationship without those two.
How did you get started?
Honestly, I’ve been talking about love and writing about it since I was 7 years old. I would write poetry, I don’t even know where I got these ideas about love from, I was 9 years old and in a year and a half relationship and my sister was 7 years older than me. She would come home with her girlfriends after school and they would just sit around me and be like “tell us your secrets how do you get him to …” and I was not even 10 years old yet. Not to say that i didn’t make so many mistakes for years after because i did and i had my lessons to learn. It’s been just over three years that I started to write about relationships online and that’s how it all started, people started to reach out to me, and say can I speak with you one on one, I want to know more, can you help me out. So I was like ok sure! I was doing that for free for a while and I took some small courses here and there. And it organically took off, I stood in my truth I AM a love coach I know how to do this I’ve seen the evolution of the clients that I work with and one referral after the other and people reaching out to me online and doing events… and so here I am!
What’s your process? What is a love coaching session like? Do you help deprogram patterns from childhood? Deep rooted trauma? What’s a session like? So many questions haha.
First we examine what has been repeating, I am not a psychologist so if someone comes to me and really wants to dig into “my mom was this way my dad was this way”, and they want to talk about childhood stuff, I refer them on to someone else.
I’m really about where are you today, where do you want to go and what’s the process to get you there. So it’s a little less about decoding and more about creating new patterns. So what is it that you no longer want to do anymore, and “ok do you notice how many times in this conversation you self-sabotaged or keep repeating the same belief allowing no space for something new?” So i’ll guide them through so many different exercises of taking a belief that is limiting that I’ve heard come up several times throughout our conversations. What isn’t true about this and how can you say this in a way that is slightly more empowering but still believable. We don’t want to take it to all the way to another end where you don’t believe it. And that’s where people get confused with affirmations that they just don’t believe so there’s a tension in their body.
Does the way you feel really align with what you feel and what you want to manifest?
Writing is a big one, I love asking open-ended questions, write it out, let it all pour out and let your subconscious beliefs come through that way. I really insist that people journal when we work together.
And reframing stories. I can look at some of my past relationships and make myself to be the victim of those situations. But the way I look at it now is I see how all of those relationships that were not necessarily all positive have led me to where I am today and I’m very satisfied with where I am today. I can look back and connect those dots and make myself the heroine of my own journey. So it’s another piece of it reframing your story so you’re no longer the victim who’s been cheated on in every relationship.
Ok so when I’m single, I’m awesome. I do my thing, I’m confident, I got this. But the second I like a guy, I go blank, I have this anxiety that comes up and I can’t be myself. Any tips for how to deal with that?
I have so many things I can say omg. So the first thing you’ll be surprised but when you’re with the person… it might sound really simplistic but just breathe. Connect with your breath it’s always there and it always helps you come back to the present moment. The only reason you’re going blank or repeating what he just said in your mind or you’re trying to come up with the next thing to say is you’re not present. Coming back to your breath will help ground you and bring you back to what is really happening.
When there is a guy that comes into your life it is really easy to get swept up in that. I just had a conversation with a woman who was saying, you know we have a really interdependent relationship, separate friends, mutual friends, why does it feel like we don’t have any space and what we discovered is that even if she’s taking the physical space, she’s not taking the mental space. She’s still thinking about it all the time, she’s bringing it to her work, she’s bringing it to her friends, it’s what they talk about whenever they get together, her problems in her relationship, there is no space. It’s so important when you’re dating someone, to have both physical and mental space, that’s when you get clarity, you get those cues in the moment when you’re with him and in those moments apart. It’s kind of like in your business, when you take a step back, you get that repsite, you get all the creative ideas flowing in.
How do you take that mental space? How do you do that in practice when you’re obsessing and analyzing to the death?
The first easiest way to do it is to not talk about it with everyone. There might be one person who you really trust their opinion and it’s grounded, and they themselves have a positive track record of relationships. You have to be careful who you‘re asking because people can’t help but project their beliefs on you. They have good intentions but it is what it is.
You can’t control your thoughts, we have 50-70 000 thoughts in a day, I think 80% of them are repetitive, it would be impossible to catch your thoughts. So I have a little process that has been influenced by so many teachers and that I’ve kind of developed it on my own so I can’t cite just one, but when you have a thought let’s say “where is this going” that thing that stresses you out, there’s a feeling that comes up each and every time. You have to get more familiar with where is that coming up for me, when it doesn’t feel good, take a mindful moment and say what was I just thinking about that’s making me feel this way and then choosing a kinder thought. When I say kinder I don’t necessarily mean towards the other person, maybe something that softens the situation, softens the stress, like maybe I don’t need to think about this right now, I don’t need to think about something that isn’t yet an issue.
For example with a health scare, deciding you’re not gonna spend all this time stressing about it until you get the results and know for sure, I’m going to choose to focus my attention elsewhere. And your thoughts will still go there, but ok I feel like shit right now and that means I’m thinking something that isn’t in alignment with what i want to be living, so let me choose other thoughts. It’s a constant. There’s no here it’s done, it’s A CONSTANT CHOOSING.
Right, so it's a constant intention, being aware of our thoughts but it really is so easy to spiral. We’re so critical of ourselves, I think as women we grew up in that, always being down on ourselves and never feeling good enough.
So also ask yourself what wound is this triggering, why is it bothering you so much. And something I learned from Brené Brown, you’re with your guy, and he says something and you internalize it and you’re super angry about it in your head, just saying to him ok the story I’m creating in my head is that when you come home and you say the house is a mess that you’re saying I don’t do enough. Maybe he’s just stating a fact. “Maybe you don’t mean it this way, but I just want to tell you this is how im taking it”, so by saying it it’s kind of a way of breaking it.
Fixating on something that isn’t serving me and that doesn’t help. If you are have an issue with your partner, the more you focus on the issue the more the issue grows, what you feed grows right. Are we picking the wrong men for us? How do we connect with less emotionally open men?
In our society we do generalize men and women in specific ways and it’s limiting because we all kind of want it to be different but we keep repeating that it is this way.
We want to be really mindful when we notice ourselves saying generalizations, if it’s not generalizations that we like then it’s kind of on us as individuals to not perpetuate the story that men are emotionally detached or don’t like to communicate.
If you’re with someone, whether it’s a man or a woman, who doesn’t know how to communicate well or it doesn’t come naturally to them, for example when I first met jack, who is my husband now, communication was just so not his thing, i didn’t know what he was thinking…
So to help him, when we have conversations, it’s about giving him as much space and time as he needs to gather his thoughts. Because we kind of want to jump in and help someone complete their thought or sneak in what we think so they can agree with us but it’s really allowing them that space to just get comfortable with gathering their words. Some people need more time to absorb a message and it’s not so comfortable for them. Also when they do say something, if it’s not something you like you have to take it.
You have to breathe and you have to absorb it or they’ll be really afraid to communicate with you again if you jump all over them.
And maybe they’re having a hard time even expressing it. I’m like that, I have a really hard time opening up. I need space and nurturing and I need to feel safe to be able to say those things.
You said the perfect word, making them feel safe, whether it’s a gentle look or telling them “you have the time don’t rush”, create an environment of loving space with your body language and if you’re being anxious waiting for a response they’re gonna be anxious.
So what if a guy isn’t open to emotions, he really doesn’t want to open up?
The first thing to consider is you can’t change someone and if that’s your goal he’s going to continue to resist you wanting to change him. You’re gonna constantly come up against that.
Ask yourself why you want him to be a certain way, what is it you’re hoping to get out of him and is it possible for you to give a bit more of that to yourself?
So the reason I say that is relationship as mirrors, they often reflect what is going on inside you. What do i need heal? It it is really really powerful. If you have trust issues, you don’t trust yourself.
What do you keep asking from your partner that you would want more of and can you give more of that to yourself? If you want him to be more emotionally open with you can you maybe start to do that within the relationship with yourself first. I know that that’s not the most appealing answer like “what the fuck so now i have to like figure this out and talk to myself!?!” It’s a work in progress, it’s not something we can unravel in two minutes. And just accepting you can’t change someone but you can inspire change. That is for you to decide let’s say for a little while “I’m not gonna focus on this issue, I’m gonna put that up on the shelf for a moment and I’m gonna put my focus on all the things we do have going on for us and all the things that he is really good at”. You’re choosing to be in the relationship you gotta stand behind that decision and really focus on what you appreciate and what kind of things you can do to inspire. Like how does your life start to improve when you get more in tune with your emotions and you can see that he might start asking questions but you can’t do it for them.
We talked a lot about being mindful and conscious which brings us to The conscious Love Blueprint which from what I understand is self-coaching, can you tell us a bit about your online program?
So I really did develop it because i know not everyone whether it’s time or money can work with a coach one on one and also I only have so much time, and I can only work with so many people at once, so I thought how can I put this into something that people can follow? And it’s kind of just self-coaching so it’s delivered over twelve weeks really intentionally because it’s a lot to absorb and I tried hard to not give too much information just enough so you can actually apply it. So every week is a lesson, you read it, and then you have exercises. The exercises, some are really practical to take into your relationships or dating, and others are more self-reflection; helping you work out some of those beliefs which aren’t serving you, breaking patterns, creating your vision. It takes you through those twelve weeks and kind of just serves as a roadmap, from if you’re single, the dating stages, and even the first few chapters which are focused on single life, I have a section for if you’re in a relationship and how to apply those same principles, and then guiding you through to that more serious long term relationship and how can it get more romantic and stronger. Because most people say to me, they say it so matter-of-factly; “well of course the romance starts to fizzle out over time”. It really doesn’t have to. If you pace yourself and if you believe that you’re going to be spending a significant amount of time with this person there’s no reason to do it all at the beginning, there’s more to unfold over time and it keeps things exciting.
But I don’t have rules, I’m one of the few coaches, but ya I don’t believe in rules because I really want to empower everyone I work with to think for themselves, to feel in to what feels aligned to them. So my only rule is “does it feel aligned to you” because if you are doing something you don’t necessarily feel ready for than maybe it’s not the time and waiting can be a good idea because that connection is built and the tendency is you have sex with someone you tend to get attached and think about them more it’s a chemical reaction and that can throw off the whole balance and you obsess over them even if you don’t really know that person yet so having sex too soon can really throw off that balance but I don’t have a specific rule what differentiates this program is that it’s really sustainable. It’s not a rulebook.
I am very excited to get started with the program and would like to invite you to join me on this self-love journey so we can create the love we want in our lives, with Diana’s support. Everyone of us deserves to feel like a goddess and be in a fulfilling, loving partnership and The Conscious Love Blueprint is a great place to start. We’ll get expert tips and coaching Q&A’s with her plus I’ve created a FB group for those of you who sign up so we can touch base weekly with any questions, epiphanies or struggles we might have or reflections we’d like to share. There’s nothing quite like a constructive group of women coming together to lift each other up. No matter your background, age, income, location, education, sexual orientation, this whole standing in our power thing seems to be something a lot of us struggle with, especially when it comes to relationships. There is so much to be learnt from each of our unique experiences and I am so excited to embark on this journey with you where we will share and grow together.
Use the code ‘alicekass15’ for 15% off the CLBP To sign up click here
+ you’ll receive a link to the private FB group as soon as it launches <3
If you follow us on Insta you may have noticed we have a total girl crush on feminist porn platform and fellow Montreal girl bosses Bellesa. One scroll through their blog and you'll understand why: they are all about girl power and the true meaning of feminism, encouraging and celebrating women to be exactly who and what they want without judgment. Their content is open-minded, instructive, cheeky and we just can't get enough!! Check out one of our favourite articles about body image and how to get more comfortable with your beautiful naked bod. Self-love for the win!!
It’s something women are still saying in 2018. Do you mind if we have sex in the dark? God forbid the other person gets a good look at our naked body. We feel self-conscious when we get on top (what about the view?) and we change hurriedly in dressing rooms because we don’t want to confront our bodies in that unforgiving light.
This is an entirely natural fear in a society that has taught us to criticize our bodies constantly. Women, especially, are the subject of so much scrutiny that we worry about our flab, our stretch marks, and every dimple in our thighs. But it is this precisely this worry that keeps us from having incredible sex. It’s not easy to reach orgasm when you’re thinking about how your body looks from a certain angle.
The thing we need to understand is this: we are our own harshest critics. Other people are far too concerned with their own worries to devote more than a fleeting thought to our bodies. While we nitpick and obsess, they are likely to be much more accepting than we imagine.
Only have sex with people who worship your body
Heterosexual men have rarely made me feel bad about my naked body. Au contraire, they greet it with unabashed enthusiasm. Ladies, don’t worry – the sight of a stretch mark is not powerful enough to dampen his boner! This isn’t porn – adult men know full well what the naked female body looks like. They know it is natural to have hair down there: they know that we might not have perfectly flat stomachs. (Any man who doesn’t is announcing himself to be immature, and not worth your time.)
Expand the range of what you find attractive
We are bombarded with images of what the “ideal” female body looks like: thin; big-titted; white. Victoria’s Secret models, or the more curvaceous bodies of the Kardashian-Jenners (which are equally unattainable unless you have an expensive surgeon on dial!) But here’s the truth: we are naturally attracted to a wide range of body types. Think about some of the people you’ve found attractive – who may have fallen outside of your natural type!
Browse body-positive hashtags on Instagram and Tumblr. Check out magazines for plus-size men. Unfollow models or celebrities if they’re affecting your self-esteem. There is a wide, wide world of beautiful women out there – women with acne, with unruly bodies, with body hair, dark-skinned women, women who don’t adhere to the artificially narrow ideal of beauty. Exposing yourself to those women will help you be more at peace with your own physical form.
Practice looking at your body without judgment
Yes, we’ve all seen that cringe episode of Sex and The City where Charlotte examines her own vagina with a hand mirror. But believe it or not, our favourite UES princess was on to something.
Try and make a ritual of it. You might feel a little foolish at first, but go on – drink a glass of wine, rub some luxurious hand cream on, and look at yourself in a full-length mirror. Instead of automatically going to your perceived flaws, focus on the things you love about your body. Is it your long neck? Is it your waist-hip ratio? Your glowing skin? Practice loving-kindness to yourself. Once you learn to just look at something without judging it, you will be amazed what a radical transformation occurs. Before you know it, you’ll be leaving the lights on during sex, confident in the knowledge that your body is a blessing.
Summer, a season synonymous with sea, sex and sun, picnics and bbqs, hikes and cottages, day parties and warm nights, travel and freedom, sunscreen and fresh fruit... what dreams are made of, basically! One of our favourite parts of course is that we get to wear minimal clothing and let our skin breathe. What better way to care for your skin than with an all natural exfoliating body scrub made of coffee and coconut oil, two of nature's greatest miracles if you ask us.
This treatment works for all skin types but also really helps even the most annoying of skin ailments, including Keratosis Pilaris, a common but incurable skin condition that affects almost half the population. We've always been super self-conscious about our skin because of this genetic predisposition to little red bumps along our arms, face and bums. We've tried every trick under the sun from salicylic acid, exfoliating with a loofah, waxing, apple cider vinegar, etc and this is by far the best (and only) solution we've found! Plus it's all natural and delicious and you'll feel good about repurposing the leftovers from your morning coffee :)
That being said, it makes sense to put on your body only what you would want to put in it. We like to stick to the most natural products we can find and bonus points if we can make them ourselves with easy-to-come by kitchen ingredients! By making your own body scrub you can confidently know what ingredients your body is absorbing.
1 Cup ground coffee 1 tablespoon honey 1 tablespoon sea salt ½ Cup coconut oil ½ Tablespoon cinnamon 1 teaspoon sweet almond oil
Both coffee and coconut oil are rich in antioxidants, while the sweet almond oil (high in oleic acid and vitamins A, C and D) hydrates the skin.
We found that leaving the scrub on for 5-10 minutes instead of washing it off right away is even more effective. Another little tip to help reduce cellulite and dry skin is to dry brush your body in circular motions before using the coffee scrub in the shower. The firm bristles of the brush exfoliate your skin while the continuous circular motion and pressure help to stimulate your blood circulation and lymphatic drainage. The action of dry brushing helps the body eliminate toxins, reducing the look of cellulite.
No more need to shy away from summertime fun :) Get your all natural exfoliation on and show off your smooth skin with confidence all summer long!