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You’ve got it together. Got it going on, doing it all, making things happen.

But is all of that supposed to come with migraines, Mylanta, and a bad case of the crankies?

Why does being so awesome feel so stressful?

Well, more than likely you are realizing something that many women with hyper-speed, super-full lives realize: you can have too much of a good thing. Especially if your good thing feels like it is your sole responsibility, all of the time. Particularly if you feel like asking for help is not what Superwomen do.

So, the stress mounts. And the overwhelm is real.

But hold on…your right to determine how much stress is too much is real too. You’re still in control. You get to make the necessary changes for a happier you.

The first stop on that trip to Relax City? A clear picture of the problem. So let’s go!

Consider these 7 Signs that You are Way Too Stressed…

1. You and Sleep Don’t Spend Much Time Together Anymore

In truth, you may be so used to insomnia that you don’t realize it’s a sign of too much stress. You may even think it’s a good thing, using the wee hours of the morning to get more done. But a lack of sleep is not your friend. You need to power all the way down so that your internal charger can get you back up to 100 percent.
Keep irritability, poor concentration, and exhaustion to a minimum by giving yourself permission to sleep. If you need help retraining your body for rest, reach out to a doctor or counselor for help.

2. You’ve Gotten Used to Sniffles, Aches, and Ibuprofen

Is your system trying to tell you something? Sick and tired people are often very stressed people. Be aware that an ongoing flood of stress hormones in your body creates complications for a host of bodily functions. If you have difficulty fending off illness, infection, and chronic pain, reduce your stress soon to start feeling better.

3. You Say, “I Forgot” & Lose Your Phone. A Lot.

It can make you feel crazy to walk in and out of a room six times trying to find the thing with the name you can’t remember. But the reality is, stressing and straining your mind daily without enough time-outs eventually causes it to fritz and fumble. You may have problems storing and recalling information. Your memory may suffer. You may even see trouble in your relationships when important times and dates are lost to your stressful lifestyle and unintended neglect.

4. Your Trips to the Salon are Less Satisfying

Stress can do a number on your skin and hair. If you are under undue amounts of stress, you may experience extreme hair shedding and thinning. Your skin may breakout or appear less vibrant. Essentially, stress kills that healthy, Supergirl glow.

Fortunately, sleep, hydration, and proper nutrition can help turn things around. If you reduce stress, within six to eight months, you can make your stylist happy again and stop hiding behind ponytails and that extra application of bronzer.

5. The Dental Bills are Starting to Add Up

When you are stressed, “the daily grind “is more than an expression. Do you find that toothaches and an achy jaw compound your list of concerns? Stress often takes a toll on oral health as you may find that you grind your teeth unconsciously. You may find massages and time with a counselor are helpful ways to ease the tension showing up in tour mouth.

6. You “Need” Wine, Nicotine, or Other Substances

Substance use can seem like a quick way to relieve the pressure you feel. Unfortunately, this can be an even quicker way to add to your challenges. Counseling and healthy self-care are better options than reliance on alcohol or drugs.

Keep in mind, too, that if you are already in recovery, periods of high stress can trigger a relapse. A clear mind and your sobriety is precious, resist the temptation to use by keeping stress manageable and remaining accountable to someone who is compassionate and nonjudgmental.

7. Sex Sucks

While sex can be a great stress reliever, when you are overly stressed, things just don’t tend to come together well. Too much stress kills desire. Thus, even a phenomenal sex life can suffer. Overwhelm and burnout rob your ability to rest, focus on your partner, and may even contribute to biological dysfunction. It is crucial to share your concerns and overwhelm with your partner and a therapist to keep communication open and stress out of the bedroom.

You Don’t Have to Go On This Way

The point of all this is not to make you feel bad about being stressed. We all struggle to balance responsibility and rest. We just want you to know it’s okay to give yourself a break.

You need it. Your body and mind are ready for it.

Listen closely to your own needs and let go of some of the things that weigh you down.

It’s perfectly fine to ask for help. It’s healthy to share your burdens. It’s a good thing to talk it out and take measures to share your stressors. We’ve got you! You can schedule an appointment with any of our affirming, therapists by clicking here. See you soon!

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I know, I know. You’re like whaaattt is this chick talking about? Haven’t you been taught your whole life that jealousy is a bad thing? That you should never ever covet what your neighbor has or that it’s a cardinal sin to feel the green-eyed monster?

Well today girls and girls, we’re going to change the way you think about this loaded, triggering word. Bear with me:

Imagine you see your best friend living this great life: traveling to Italy where she can eat fresh homemade pasta and drink local wine, all the while sitting across from her love where they laugh and talk their days & nights away. {All recorded by the way on the ‘gram … this is how you know what they’re experiencing cuz following them around and spying on them would be WEIRD.}

Anyhoo, back to the social media glam trip your bestie is on. You feel it in your gut.

That slow burn of jealousy. And then here it comes. The pious angel on your shoulder that says “girl, stop being jealous of Mandy’s (insert your bestie’s name here) trip. You know it’s ugly to covet things you can’t have.”

But that green bitch on the other side? She’s like “damn, why can’t you have that? Why does she get to do all the fun stuff while you’re stuck here slogging away like a servant for this company you hate???”

Back and forth they go. This causes you to feel sick to your stomach, maybe have some flare ups of anxiety, some racing thoughts and the best feeling of all, GUILT.

Yes, you feel guilty for even wanting what she has or wishing you had it. You feel guilty for not being SO happy that Mandy is enjoying her 2-week trip that she’s wanted to take for years. Why can’t you be like everyone else, you ask yourself?

So, here’s where I want you to start changing the way you look at jealousy. Yes, all of these responses are NORMAL. Everyone experiences them but I’m challenging you to use this normal, gut reactions as a light. A mirror even.

Jealousy is really a sign, a nudge, a push that what you’re feeling jealous about? Is WHAT. YOU. WANT.

So you’re jealous of Mandy’s Italy trip? Cuz you want to do that and go there! That promotion Tee received at work? You also want that! That Kate Spade crossover your sister-in-law has? You want it.

Here’s what I’m encouraging you to do with this information. First let the feelings just flow over you. Don’t react. Instead, take notes.

Jealousy will now be your guide. It’s telling you that you need to start doing these things for yourself, planning these trips, saving for that purse, studying for that promotion. Use it for good and as a push to achieve the things you want.

This is particularly helpful if jealousy comes out of nowhere with something you NEVER realized before that you want. Maybe it’s not working Friday’s ever again after seeing your cousin do this. Or maybe it’s staying in your pj’s all day Sundays, guilt free. Or maybe it’s a bigger goal like quitting that job you hate and finally opening your own book store. Or going back to school to achieve your degree after seeing your co-worker graduate with your bachelor’s.

The list is endless, but the bottom line is you only live this life once as YOU (depending on what you believe of course) so why not take advantage of NOW and begin living the life you’ve always dreamed of?

Why are you waiting?

Are you afraid?

Stuck?

We got you! If you need a sideline cheerleader, a woman who’s been there and can encourage you to do the same, we are the place to go! Our rock star group of women therapists are waiting to help you get unstuck, make friends with your jealousy and begin living. You can schedule NOW online easily and quickly by clicking here. Or if you’re an old-fashioned gal with questions, you can call our Administrative Goddess Monday through Friday from 9 am to 5 pm at 301-690-0779, extension 700.

See you soon!

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It is a lonely thing to always be considered an “other.”

Many people in the LGBTQ+ community know that feeling of being an outsider well.

In fact, coping with loneliness is often a shared and strikingly common experience in our world. Starting life in the closet, assumed to be something we aren’t, was a lonely path. Coming out to ourselves often carries a weight of solitude. And finally, sharing ourselves with others can ensure pangs of rejection and separateness that make loneliness more painful than we could have imagined.

It’s not that we aren’t loved and finding love. We do and we are. On the whole, we are finding a more visible, viable place in the world.

But the lives we lead at the office, applying for insurance and home loans, or seeking lasting love are deeply affected by inequality and disconnection. We are constantly aware of a culture that struggles to see us as truly belonging within it.

Of course, our LGBTQ+ Community isn’t the only community to suffer loneliness, but we definitely know the suffering intimately.

That’s why we need strategies to cope. Before internal depression and deeper isolation steal the connections we have to each other and the strength we need to keep shining light to a world that is poorer without us.

Consider these 8 ways to cope with loneliness in our LGBTQ+ community…

1. Acknowledge and Accept Your Feelings

Telling yourself the truth is a key first step to coping with loneliness. Saying you’re down or sad, isn’t the same as admitting you long for meaningful human connection. Facing your longing and feelings and feelings honestly can help break through the thick skin you’ve had to develop. Acceptance of yourself as an LGBTQ+ person is vital but so is acceptance of your basic humanity. Acknowledge that you need people. Accept that life isn’t fulfilling without more intimate relationships. Then you can move forward, no longer stuck pretending that you’re okay alone.

2. Deal with the Isolation inside your head!

When we think of isolation and loneliness we often think of social isolation. While social loneliness is very real, so is mental loneliness. After all, we spend a lot of time in our own heads. If you don’t have role models to inspire you, positive thoughts to encourage you or a viable dream to shoot for, it’s difficult to feel connected to the world you live in…even in your own mind. So make it a mission to search out those who are living life in our LGBTQ+community, and the world at large, WELL. Use a daily mantra to propel you forward. Look at peoples and groups who have been “others” in society throughout history and learn from their will to overcome the aloneness you feel.

3. Let Yourself be Known

Loneliness festers when you hide yourself away or keep yourself one dimensional. Find ways to spend time with others on a regular basis. Friendships and bonds aren’t created in once-in-a-while situations. Give yourself time to bump into people repeatedly, revisit conversations from previous meetings, and start to think of each acquaintance as whole individuals. If you can do this while routinely participating in a yoga class or cooking class, so much the better.

4. Don’t Forget the People You Forgot You Knew

Lonely people often say they “don’t know anyone.” But that usually means we don’t know familiar people well. Ask yourself why you don’t get to know your colleagues at work, treadmill buddy at the gym, or your hallway neighbors? Make an effort to release your fear of being misunderstood. Reach out a little more daily. With each encounter, try to make an effort to open up about yourself. Allow these pre-made connections to springboard conversations that could lead to deeper relationships down the road.

5. Give up the Tendency to Self-medicate

Lonely people sometimes cover their loneliness with false courage. Often that bravado is easily found through drugs, alcohol, or other risky behavior. And by the time the indulgence wears off? Loneliness is back again, sometimes accompanied by shame. You don’t want to live that solitary cycle anymore. If you struggle with using self-medication to soothe your loneliness, reach out to a support group instead. That way, you kill the risky behavior and loneliness birds with one stone of solid, productive support.

6. Seek Out a Compassionate, Affirming Therapist

Therapy can provide you the help and encouragement you need to work through your past and hurt feelings. Tools to deal with loneliness and rejection can be explored. Strategies for living your values and finding people who share them are also an important part of such guidance. Having such a supportive relationship can help you learn more about yourself and start to ease your loneliness with each session.

The truth? Loneliness in our LGBTQ+ community has a long history and disproportionately affects us. But we don’t have to accept it as our destiny. We can plan for deeper connections, we can cope, and we can thrive! As lifelong advocates, allies and members of our LGBTQ+ community, we got you! You can schedule an appointment with any of our affirming therapists by clicking here. Or if you’d like, our monthly free LGBTQ+ support group is happening in Charlotte Hall, click here to see more information. See you soon!

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Yes. We’ve moved our main campus in Leonardtown to a better, more well-designed space which will allow us to grow and expand to serve you better.

We’re just around the corner in the Breton Medical Offices which is in the same parking lot of Salsa’s and Ledo’s in Leonardtown. Below is a picture so you can have some context, but it’s super easy to find us:

Take a right or a left off of route 5 into the Ledo’s parking lot. Take the first left into a brick covered parking lot and we’re the last stairwell on the right. (See picture). You can now park in front of the building which is great and come to the top of the stairs. Viola!

There’ll be a sign outside the main door eventually which will help but for now, as it’s being designed, we have a handmade sign on the glass that says Empowered Connections. And remember, you can always call us if you get lost!

We hope you love this new space as much as we do! Please be patient with us as we continue unpacking and decorating. See you soon!

 

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Do you have a good sense of who you are as a person? I’m sure you know who you are as a parent, or girlfriend, employee and neighbor. But do you really know yourself in an intimate way?

I think one of the intimidating worries about coming to therapy is that your therapist is going to try to change you. Or you worry that you’ll have to change in order to feel better.

Yes, some of this is true but in reality, we’re not here to change you but rather to figure out who you really are and magnify the shit out of that!

So, our therapeutic approach is really about revealing your true essence which has been buried by all the years of hurt, negative messages, self-doubt, and hurt. To deal with all of that crap you’ve been wading through your whole life, you have probably developed some pretty negative coping skills and thought patterns.

That’s where we come in!

I’m curious if you recognize yourself doing some of these thought patterns to deal with the crazy around you:
1. Black or white thinking: You think that either you gotta be perfect or you suck. You tend to think that either your life is wonderful or it’s the worst. You’re an either/or gal!

2. Catastrophizing: This is a popular one! Do you automatically go right down the rabbit hole (hey Alice!) whenever anything bad happens? For example, your boss doesn’t say hi to you in the morning with her usual smile so you automatically think “oh shit, I’m so fired, I don’t know why I thought I could do this job, now I’m going to be humiliated and embarrassed and how the hell am I going to be able to pay my car payment next week???” Yea. You know who you are …

3. Personalization: This is when you think anything that happens around you is directly because of you. The cashier at Giant that was rude to you? That’s because she thinks you’re an ass because you didn’t bring your bags with you. Or that fight at the holiday dinner at your sister-in-law’s? That’s because you didn’t see it coming and redirect the conversation before it headed south. You’re always comparing yourself to everyone around and looking for evidence that you don’t measure up.

I’ve listed these examples to show you that we all develop these kinds of thought patterns over the years to help us manage what’s happening to us and around us. Figuring out what specific tools/patterns/habits you’ve taken on, is the first step in peeling back the layers to seeing the real YOU.

The girl that you remember who loved swinging on the swings, hiking to the creek at your grandma’s, making homemade cards, taking in the sunsets.

The you who used to be open and trusting, who was excited about life, who loved taking chances!

Let’s find you again!

We’re super skilled at seeing YOU, at hearing YOU, at appreciating YOU, and at reminding YOU that you don’t need to change who you really are! You just gotta figure out what you’ve been using as a mask and shield to protect you and begin rewiring your brain and your habits in order to settle into the fabulous bad ass person you’ve always been! We got you … schedule here to begin getting back to YOU!

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Thanksgiving is almost here. Ugh. I know a lot of people love this holiday but there are more of us who dread it.

We dread the family members who make comments about our clothes, our new tattoo, our politics. Who make snide remarks about our sexuality or gender identity.

We dread the feeling of being uncomfortable for hours on end.

We dread having to pretend to be someone we’re not.

There’s a lot of good things about the holidays particularly if you have a family that accepts you and supports you.

BUT for those of us who struggle with these primary relationships, the holidays can be a hotbed of feelings that send us down the rabbit hole. Yucky feelings. Sad feelings. Maybe even anger.

So how do you get through the holidays? Here’s some ideas:
First, remember that experiencing a ton of different feelings while you’re there, is expected. Understanding beforehand that you’ll be riding the emotional rollercoaster is a good way to not freak out. Give yourself a pep talk before you walk in that you’ll get through it!

Second, is there a friend or special person you can bring to the event? Their presence can be a calming influence for you while also providing a buffer if needed. Just make sure they know what they’re getting into!

Third, are there family members who are less toxic? You cab hang out with them more than say your nasty uncle who likes to bring up Trump every 5 minutes. Avoidance is a coping skill because it works (short-term of course) so during these short experiences, use it to your advantage.

Lastly, if you need to, don’t go. I’d ask you that if your family is particularly toxic and damaging to your mental health, is there a way you can skip it all together? If you’ve never done that before, this may seem crazy!

But …

I think now more than ever, it might be time for all of us to better protect ourselves. Protect our hearts and our sanity so this year might be the first year that you put yourself first. No one will ever take care of you as well as you can take care of yourself and there’s no better time to start this than now!

If you’re struggling during this holiday season like a lot of us, we are here for you! No one understands better how hard this can be and we’d love to help you work through it … we got you! You can schedule an appointment now with one of our rock star therapists by clicking here. See you soon!

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We get it. There’s lots to worry about right now in our uber stressed, tense world. Since most of our clients are struggling with anxiety and worry, we wanted to address one of the most asked questions we get in our sessions … “how to stop my constant worrying?”

Ah yes … we all know how sucky constantly worrying about something can be, especially if you can’t seem to “turn it off.” We get it!

Over the years we’ve learned some tricks and tips that we thought we’d pass along to you to help you feel less worried and less sucky.

1. Worrying, as all thought patterns, are a HABIT.

This means that just like any other habit, it can be broken by beginning to pay attention to what you’re worrying about and when. Gathering information is super helpful right now.

2. Next, set aside some time each day to “worry.”

Any time you want but most people find it’s helpful to do it after the work day and well before bed so let’s say, 5:00 pm. Allocate 10 to 15 minutes to actually sit down and let your worries fly! You can write them down if you want or just sit there and let them come in rapid succession. Now’s the time to worry as much as you want but ONLY for the designated time so set a timer on your phone and follow it!

3. Then now the difficult part comes: it’s time to organize these worries and analyze them.

So, gather your intel, make lists according to topics (work worries, home worries, kid worries) then start to look these lists over. Is there more in one category than another? Start there.

4. Taking these lists, we want you to start going down the rabbit hole with each worry.

Yes, that’s right. Go there! Go to the worst-case scenario … it’s helpful to get comfortable with the worst possible outcome because this is where the power is. Once you know the worst possible scenario, the power of it frightening you is starting to loosen! Do this over each day until the worrying subsides and you’ll begin to see a big difference!

We know this can be difficult to do on your own which is why we are here! We help women and girls every day all day, it’s our jam! And even better? Tackling anxiety is our superpower! So, if you need some extra help in figuring out where all this stuff is coming from and how to stop constantly worrying, we are your tribe! Click here to self-schedule with one of our rock star therapists, easily and RIGHT NOW!

Let’s get you back to good!

Remember: we got you!

 

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This past month has been rough. Rough particularly for those of us who have been assaulted or harassed in the past. And as you guessed, it’s happened to us too. And that has made the recent events displayed for all of us to witness, even more triggering and traumatizing. It is a constant reminder of why we DON’T tell, why we don’t feel safe while moving around this world and why we don’t trust men 100%.

As a girl who grew up in the 80s before sexual harassment was even talked about openly or against the law, assault and harassment was very commonplace for me.

My story was like most of yours: I was assaulted in high school while on a date with a rival high school football team quarterback when I refused to “put out” after he took me out on our first date.

I guess I should’ve known what he was looking for because why would someone like that, take someone like me out?

Ahh, here’s where my self-esteem came out to play.

Luckily, I was able to fight him off enough that he stopped. The fact that I had to fight him off “enough” is troubling all by itself but this is our reality. Still. 30 years later.

And sadly, there are more stories of sexual harassment at my jobs over the years, by men that I knew or just happened to cross their path during a social event.

You get used it. You learn to put up an armor so that the stares, the verbal suggestions, the unwanted touches, the crude gestures that are commonplace, don’t hurt you anymore. But here’s an idea:

Why don’t we focus on socializing our boys about consent, teach them that NO is a complete sentence?
Why don’t we show them how to respect women and to stop valuing them for their physical appearance, instead of teaching our girls to be afraid?? To be “careful,” to not walk at night, to not live/travel/walk alone, or wear “suggestive” clothing because then we might be “asking for it.”

Does anyone else see how fucked up this is and has been?? How we’ve been going about this the wrong way?

Why are WE making ourselves smaller just so boys & men can move around this world freely like they own it?? Why has adjusting to their aggressive, disrespectful, dishonoring and savage behavior become the norm for us?

How about we begin standing firm in our power? Reminding ourselves that our FUTURE IS FEMALE and that WE are more powerful than anyone has given us credit for! That our time is NOW.

Dismantling this age-old guard of men’s superiority and entitlement is the first step in changing the course of our girls and women. We do this by what Dr. Ford has done: speaking our truth. Demand that this behavior will no longer be ignored. That if we’re assaulted or harassed, WE. WILL. TELL. And they will listen. If they don’t, we’ll scream louder until our voices are no longer ignored. Enough!

If you’ve been re-triggered by these past events and it’s time to share your own story, your own pain, your own pushed down, ignored voice … WE GOT YOU! No one knows better than us what you’ve been through and we’re here to help you. To listen to you. To honor your story and to share in your pain. This is where true healing begins: between us and you.

Our connection is so important because we are ALL CONNECTED.

And connection is what Empowered Connections’ team does best. Schedule your appointment now. We look forward to supporting you!

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Ever wonder why you’re here? On this planet? Right here? Right now?

Have you spent any time thinking that “once I get my degree, my life will be better” or “if I can meet the right person, then I’ll be happy!” Just waiting for the “right” moment so that everything will fall into place?

We know because we used to think this way too.

But we’ve discovered that just being you is GOOD. ENOUGH.
That there’s a reason you’re here. Right now.

We get that you might not know yet what specialness you are offering to the world because you’ve been too busy comparing yourself to every other person crossing your path.

Or measuring yourself to your mom’s voice that said you’ll never be enough or that ex who told you no one will ever love you.

We get it.

These voices are so, so hard to combat. The comparison bullshit is a real thing. We ALL struggle with it from time to time.

BUT …

Good news! The possibility of who you can be, of what you can achieve is right there. Within reach.

You are already beautiful enough. Good enough. Lovable enough. Valuable enough. All without doing a damn thing. Except taking that first step.

And when you’re ready to step into your magnificence? We’re ready to help you.

We got you! We got THIS. Together. Let us take your hand and walk you into your future as we have walked hundreds of women before you. All you need to do is click here and your journey begins.

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Being immersed in personal growth can be exhausting! Looking at your past; gathering info about old wounds and messages you learned growing up; gathering recon about the current state of your life; making connections between the past and the present … whew!!! Makes us tired just thinking about all that work!

While that’s all great information which we can use to change our lives, there’s really one switch that you need to activate in order to get your shit in order.

Can you guess?

Personal. Responsibility.

Yes. I know, YAWN.

But seriously, let that settle in for a second because it’s amazing when you think about it.

I just read an article by Brian Tracy that blew my mind in its simplicity.

Because really, it makes perfect sense.

Where we are now? It’s because of the choices we made to get here.

In a job that pays shitty? You probably knew when you were being interviewed, that the pay wasn’t great but maybe you justified it by saying it was better than nothing, etc. so you accepted it. Choice.

Maybe you’re in a relationship that is unsatisfying, but you stay because it’s too much work to leave. Choice.

You have zero savings yet you know that you spend $20 a week in WaWa runs which you could slide into your savings account but you haven’t yet. Choice.

Here’s the magical piece:

Where you are now is because of the choices you made, so this means that you just gotta make different choices to get to the life you’ve been dreaming of!


Tracy states that “the key to happiness is having a sense of control over what’s going on in your life. The more you feel you’re in control, the happier you’ll be.”

This means that we can stop blaming others for where we are RIGHT NOW.

We can accept that we got ourselves here (no matter how windy the road) and release the blame and anger that we sometimes carry. Look inward for the answers … you got them!!

Sounds super simple but as with anything else, it takes the 3 P’s to accomplish (persistence, perseverance, and patience).

And no worries, we are experts at helping you do this so when you’re ready, our rock star team is here to get you started! We got you!

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