Loading...

Follow ScottEblin by Vicky Likens on Feedspot

Continue with Google
Continue with Facebook
Or

Valid



What do you notice about your thought process when you’re about to start something that’s difficult or intimidating? Is your inner monologue helpful or hurtful? Here’s a hint – your self-talk is highly predictive of the result you’re going to get.

There’s a simple mental shift you can make that almost guarantees a better result when you have to do something you’re not totally excited about or find a little bit scary. Instead of telling yourself, “I have to do this thing,” say to yourself, “I get to do this thing.”

As I’ve written here before, I learned this little trick years ago from speaking coach Dr. Nick Morgan when he was helping me prepare for the biggest speech I’d ever given up to that point. It was a keynote to a 1,000 people at the Washington Hilton with production values that were through the roof. Spot lights, teleprompters, the works. When you’re walking from the green room to the stage at the Hilton, you walk through a hallway that is filled with pictures of every U.S. President who has ever given a speech there. It’s an intimidating setting to say the least.

Fortunately for me, Nick knew the venue from personal experience and gave me some critical advice for when I was sitting in the green room waiting to go on. He told me to skip past the idea that I had to go give a big speech and instead focus on the idea that I get to go share my ideas with a 1,000 people who could benefit from them. That simple shift made all the difference. I was actually excited to take the stage that day.

I’ve used that “have to”/”get to” distinction ever since when I’m facing a potentially intimidating situation. A few years ago, for instance, I gave another big speech to a conference in Mexico City where many of the 1,000 plus people were getting simultaneous translation in Spanish as I delivered my speech in English. Again, thinking “get to” instead of “have to” was the key to a good experience for both me and the audience. Thanks to the “get to” mindset, my energy and confidence levels were both high and matched up well with the room.

Today, I’m working on revisions and additions to the upcoming 3rd edition of my first book, The Next Level. A few weeks ago, I caught myself thinking that I “have to” do a bunch of line edits that were going to feel like tedious work. After a good night’s sleep, I woke up with the “get to” perspective. Sure, doing line edits isn’t the most fun thing in the world but the bigger and more important picture with the 3rd edition is that I get to share with my readers so many cool new things I’ve learned from working with great leaders in the eight years since the 2nd edition was released. Once I locked back into the “get to” mindset, the project really took off for me and my creativity and energy soared. (And I can’t wait for you to see the 3rd edition this Fall – I think you’re going to love it!)

So, what is it for you – “have to” or “get to”? What’s on your to-do list right now that could benefit from making the “have to”/”get to” shift? One way to shift your thinking is to focus on the people who are going to benefit from what you’re working on. Consider the difference your work is going to make for them and how it will change their lives for the better. When you develop that mental picture shifting to the “get to” mindset just seems natural.

If you liked what you read here, subscribe here to get my latest ideas on how to lead and live at your best.

Read Full Article
Visit website
  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

In some organizations, this is the time of year where individual performance from the previous year is summarized and communicated in annual reviews. (Which, by the way, is an abysmal practice that does nothing to develop people and has at least an 80% chance of causing them to feel disengaged.)

One of the reasons annual performance reviews suck so much is that they too often deal in data points, not trends. Too many managers don’t provide meaningful performance feedback on a real-time basis so when performance review time rolls around (as it always and predictably does), they find themselves scrambling for points to make in the review conversation. That’s where the data points come in. In the absence of any meaningful thought or preparation, whatever happened recently suddenly becomes a trend. That meeting you nailed? Good job on that – you had a great year! That presentation you muffed? You know, I’m not sure you’re really a good fit for us.

Here’s the thing. A data point does not a trend make. A data point is exactly that – it’s a data point, not a trend. Lots of data points observed and documented over time? Now, that’s a trend.

In the absence of observed behaviors over time, data points are just snapshots of whether someone was having a good day or a bad day at any given point in time. It’s the same dynamic with feedback solicited from others. If you talk to 12 people and 11 of them agree and the other one disagrees, pay attention to the 11, not the one.

You may think I’m off on a rant here (you might be right), but there’s a reason I am. All too often, I talk with an executive who focuses on the most recent thing that happened with one of their directs and, from that one data point, they extrapolate a trend that demands action. When I hear this happening, my favorite question to ask the executive is, “Is that a data point or a trend?” Nine times out of ten, they’ll stop, think about it and tell me it’s just a data point.

They call it the recency effect for a reason. A data point does not a trend make. It’s a cognitive bias. Don’t fall for it. Great leaders assess on the trends, not the data points.

If you liked what you read here, subscribe here to get my latest ideas on how to lead and live at your best.

Read Full Article
Visit website
  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

If you pay any attention at all to sports, you’ve probably noticed that the Golden State Warriors are a really good basketball team. So good, in fact, that four of their five starters are playing in the NBA All-Star Game next month. With Steph Curry and Kevin Durant leading the team and (my idol) Steve Kerr coaching, Golden State is so good that it’s been reported that other teams in the league are suffering from Warriors Derangement Syndrome.

Still, as good as they are, the Warriors aren’t perfect. For instance, some of the players on the team tend to draw more than their share of technical fouls. Techs are sort of expected from Draymond Green given his game. They’ve maybe been less expected from Kevin Durant but he’s lately moved towards the top of the charts on techs and has been ejected from four games this season for saying more to the officials than they were willing to hear.

Durant’s latest ejection came against the Knicks last week after he felt like he wasn’t getting the calls he was due and spoke up about it – loudly. In the post-game press conference, he calmly talked about why he thought he was right and the refs were wrong. That wouldn’t be much of a story except for what Durant said at practice the next day to a group of reporters. Here’s the quote:

“I wish I had handled that better obviously but it was kind of a heat-of-the-moment for me. I could be better. It was a great learning experience for me though… I wasn’t getting picked on last night. I was being a diva last night. I’ve got to just own up to it. I watched it when I got home. I was wondering why he was coming at me so hard but then I watched the plays I was like, ‘Yeah, I looked like a jerk out there.’ It was bad. Luckily, we won and we can move past it and I kind of owned up to it. I’ll be better next time.”

There’s a lot in that quote that any of us can learn about self-observation and owning it when we get it wrong. Let’s break it down.

First, Durant literally went back and watched the tape. When he did, he realized he had been wrong to react the way he did during the game.

Second, he was honest about what he saw and called himself out for all to hear.

Third, he viewed the episode and his review and reflection on it as a great learning experience – “I wasn’t getting picked on last night. I was being a diva last night.”

Fourth, he sounded sincere in his commitment to be better going forward. He built in some accountability for himself by talking through his lessons learned on the record.

One advantage that Durant has that most of us don’t is the opportunity to go back and watch himself on video. It’s probably a really good thing that most of us aren’t taped when we do our jobs, but if we had tapes to review, there’s likely a lot we could learn from the self-observation. In lieu of a video taping system, consider recruiting a few trusted colleagues to keep an eye on you at work and give it to you straight when they see you acting like a diva or a jerk. If and when you get that kind of feedback, take a few tips from Durant. Be honest with yourself and others about what happened and how you showed up. View it as a learning opportunity. Hold yourself accountable by owning your behavior and publicly committing to do better in the future.

If you liked what you read here, subscribe here to get my latest ideas on how to lead and live at your best.

Read Full Article
Visit website
  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

Happy new year everyone! Here’s hoping that 2018 is everything you want it to be.

To give you some fuel for the journey, here are five quick posts about how to set yourself up for success this year. These posts cover strategies and tactics that have worked for both my clients and me so I’m confident they’ll work for you too.

For the big-picture, strategic point of view, take a look at these two posts on how creating your own Life GPS® can help you create the outcomes you want in the three big arenas of life: home, work and community:

How to Perform at Your Best This Year

What a Life GPS® Can Do for You This Year (This post includes a link to download a Life GPS® worksheet.)

When you’re ready to break things down into the small steps that lead to big results, check out these two posts on the tactics of making progress day-by-day and week-by-week:

Three Steps to Actually Change Yourself This Year

How Baby Steps Can Keep You on Track This Year

And, finally, if this is the year that you really intend to shake things up, read this post on Seven Ways to Play a Bigger Game This Year.

If you liked what you read here, subscribe here to get my latest ideas on how to lead and live at your best.

Read Full Article
Visit website
  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

This is that wonderful week when things slow down and we do a little relaxing, reading and reflecting about what worked this year and changes we want to make for a successful next year.

In that spirit, I want to share five of my favorite posts from 2017 that offer simple, practical and immediately actionable ideas on leading and living at your best.

We’ll start with one of my most popular posts from this year, The Ten Behaviors of Strong Personal Leadership.

Then we’ll get some tactical tips for effective self-management with these three posts:

Finally, I’ll want to wrap up with some inspiration that can lead to action with What Great Leadership Looks Like. This one includes one of my favorite short videos of 2017.

Hope you enjoy and get some value from this 2017 recap. See you back here in 2018. Happy new year!

If you liked what you read here, subscribe here to get my latest ideas on how to lead and live at your best.

Read Full Article
Visit website
  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

It’s been written that, “We are the stories we tell ourselves.” If that’s the case, then we need to do all we can as leaders and people to make sure those stories are positive, powerful and extraordinary.

The guest of my latest author conversation, Maria van Hekken, has dedicated her life to helping others clarify the extraordinary story of their lives. A veteran leadership coach and faculty member of the leadership coaching program at Georgetown University, Maria is the author of the newly released book, Leading with Y.E.S.: A Practical Guide to Discovering and Living Your Extraordinary Story.

In my conversation with Maria, we talk about how to clarify and articulate your story, the impact that has on your leadership and her advice for getting started. I think you’ll enjoy the conversation and leave with some actionable takeaways. If you want to download free tools that can help you discover your own extraordinary story, visit Maria’s website.

Finding Your Extraordinary Story: A Conversation with Maria van Hekken - SoundCloud
(1428 secs long, 3 plays)Play in SoundCloud

If you liked what you read here, subscribe here to get my latest ideas on how to lead and live at your best.

Read Full Article
Visit website
  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

Does anyone else feel like we could all benefit from more civility in public discourse and behavior? If you do, you can do something about it. Set yourself the goal of being a master of civility. And, if you’re interested in doing that, start by listening to the highlights of a recent conversation I had with Christine Porath. Christine is an associate professor at Georgetown’s McDonough School of Business and is the author of Mastering Civility: A Manifesto for the Workplace. As you’ll hear in the highlights, Christine has literally dedicated her life to making the world a more civil place and has some great ideas to share on how to be a master of civility and how to create a civil organization.

I’ll be sharing more from Christine early next year with the launch of my new podcast, Lead at Your Best, Live at Your Best. For now, I encourage you to read her book and listen to our highlight reel.

Mastering Civility: My Conversation with Christine Porath - SoundCloud
(808 secs long, 1 plays)Play in SoundCloud

If you liked what you read here, subscribe here to get my latest ideas on how to lead and live at your best.

Read Full Article
Visit website
  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

When was the last time you were bored? I’m willing to bet that you can’t remember. If I’m right, it’s because, in 2017, no one ever has to be bored. That smartphone super computer you carry around in your pocket guarantees it.

Don’t know what to do next? There’s always an Instagram feed to look at, a text to answer, an email to delete, a podcast to listen to, a cat video to watch, a news headline to click on or a Minecraft challenge to beat. Thanks to the technology, none of us ever have to be bored.

How great is that, right? Actually, it’s not so great. We – you, me, all of us – need to be bored once in a while.  That space between active thoughts is where we get our best ideas. Want to prove that to yourself? Answer this question. Where or when do you get you best ideas? (I’ll wait for you to consider your answer).

As I wrote a few weeks ago, I’ve asked that question of thousands of leaders over the past several years. The number one answer is, “In the shower,” followed by “When I’m working out,” and “Commuting.” No one has ever answered, “At my desk in front of my computer,” or “Thumbing through my smartphone looking at Twitter.” You get your best ideas when you’re not actively engaging your brain with something else to pay attention to or think about.

This topic is on my mind because of a video conference I had last week with a group of executives who were finishing one of our multi-month leadership development programs. One of the women in the group mentioned that on the previous Saturday she noticed that she was actually bored. It was the rare day when she didn’t have a ton of family commitments to attend to or a presentation or some other project that she had to fine tune for Monday morning back at the office. She told us, “I actually didn’t know how to handle it when I had nothing to do.”

That’s because she’s been so used to having her foot on the gas that she’s become physiologically attuned to the feeling of always being busy or mentally occupied. That’s great for dealing with all of the stuff on your daily dance floor. It’s not so great when you need to get up on the balcony to process the patterns or look around the corner to consider what’s next. When you don’t leave any space or opportunity to be bored, you’re a lot less likely to make visits to the balcony where you can see the bigger picture or possibly come up with the next game changing idea.

So, how do you create the space to be bored? It’s simple really. Quit filling up your interstitial (look it up if you like) moments with more input. Going for a run or washing the dishes? Take out the ear buds. Standing in line at Starbucks or the cafeteria at work? Leave your phone in your pocket. Driving home from work? Turn off the radio.

Give your brain a break and allow yourself to be bored. You might be pleasantly surprised by what you come up with.

If you liked what you read here, subscribe here to get my latest ideas on how to lead and live at your best.

Read Full Article
Visit website
  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

Lately, I’ve been working with a company that’s about to make a big leap. They have a potentially world-changing product and are on the cusp of scaling up in a big way. It’s very exciting stuff.

Everyone from the CEO on down is super busy. There is a lot of work to do both internally and externally. With all the demands, time and attention is a scarcer resource than money.

That’s true for many of the leaders I work with. It can be really exciting when you’re running at a hundred miles per hour to get big things done. The challenge is that, in that kind of situation, it’s easy to lose sight of some basic truths about people that you just intuitively get when you’re not so absorbed by everything else you have to do.

Here, then, are three basic truths about people that busy leaders should not ignore:

People care about where you are and what you’re doing. – When you’re running hard, you’re likely to be in a lot of meetings and, possibly, on a lot of airplanes. You’re getting stuff done but it can feel to your team like you’re missing in action. Keep doing what you need to do but let them know what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Set the context and tell the story. Nature abhors a vacuum. In the absence of solid information, people make stuff up. That’s hardly ever helpful. Avoid that by letting your people know where you are, what you’re doing and why you’re doing it.

People want predictability.  – To do their best work, most people need some amount of predictability. They need to know what’s expected of them, what others are working on and how it all hangs together. This is especially true for leadership teams. They need an operating rhythm that ensures that they can stay well informed and in sync with each other. That requires regular and consistent communications. It can be hard to stick with the rhythm of that when you’re running flat out, but it needs to be a priority. Without the predictability of that kind of communication, your team will likely lose their way.

People will hardly ever speak up if you ask, “Are there any questions?” – How many times have you been in a town hall meeting (or, worse, leading one) when, after all the presentations, someone asks, “Are there any questions?” and the response is crickets. That’s because most people are never going to step up and ask the first question in front of a room. Again, that’s especially true when there is a lot going on and a lot of change. If you really want to know what people think (and you should), don’t ask, “Are there any questions?” Instead, ask “What are we missing?” or “What’s going on that we need to pay more attention to?” If you really want to grease the skids, pose one of those questions and then give people ten minutes to talk about it in small groups and then ask for some spokespeople from each group. You’ll almost certainly get better information that way.

So, be busy and get big stuff done. Just don’t ignore the basic truths about what people need while you’re doing it. Your team will be a lot more engaged and productive if you tend to what they need.

If you liked what you read here, subscribe here to get my latest ideas on how to lead and live at your best.

Read Full Article
Visit website
  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

It’s been awhile since I’ve done an author conversation but I think this one is worth the wait. Join me for a fun, informative and possibly life changing conversation with Dorie Clark, the author of three books including the just-released, Entrepreneurial You.

Whether you run your own business, are thinking about starting your own business, want to jump-start your side-hustle or are perfectly happy in your job, there’s something in this conversation for you.

Over the course of around 30 minutes, Dorie and I talk about:

  • How losing her job forced her to learn how to be an entrepreneur.
  • How to be the master of your own story.
  • Why it’s critical to be seen as among the best at what you do.
  • Why being known for your expertise is essential but not sufficient.
  • How to be paid what you’re worth.
  • Dorie’s one best piece of advice for the full-time job person who wants to start the side hustle to scratch their entrepreneurial itch.
  • Why she’s taken up stand-up comedy and what she’s learned about herself in the process.

We covered a lot of ground and I think you’ll enjoy listening in. If you want to know more about Dorie, her work and her books, visit DorieClark.com.

How to Find Your Entrepreneurial You. My Conversation with DorieClark - SoundCloud
(2037 secs long)Play in SoundCloud

If you liked what you read here, subscribe here to get my latest ideas on how to lead and live at your best.

Read Full Article
Visit website

Read for later

Articles marked as Favorite are saved for later viewing.
close
  • Show original
  • .
  • Share
  • .
  • Favorite
  • .
  • Email
  • .
  • Add Tags 

Separate tags by commas
To access this feature, please upgrade your account.
Start your free year
Free Preview