You're readingThe Salesman Who Doesn’t Sell by: Dominique Goh, originally posted on Dominique's Desk. If you have enjoyed this post, feel free to follow me on Twitter, or Facebook
The Salesman Who Doesn’t Sell
The Salesman Who Doesn’t Sell – A Marketing Guide to Making Money While You Sleep by Brian J Greenberg is a book which I recently picked up to read. With the escalating cost of living I have always been looking out for ways to make more money to support the kids and myself. I have been very hesitant about doing sales as I’m not very outgoing however since I’ve started embracing challenges this is something that I haven’t phased out giving a try.
In the 4 sections of the book Brian shows how one can do the following.
Influence without selling
How to get found
Practice what you preach
How to keep growing
One will need to do some investment first in branding yourself before you are able to start attracting the right customers/clients. There maybe upfront cost developing a professional looking website , getting a suitable office address and telephone system to project a professional image.
Social proof is extremely important for marketers and even so when everything is online nowadays. With it well established it will be easier to get others to jump on the bandwagon and gain more business. One will need to “dress up” their website with seals of guarantees, testimonials, clients profiles and other types of endorsements to improve on the website’s Klout.
Product and service reviews help to build up the reputation of your brand. Seals and Guarantees also help to boost your credibility online. Showing statistics and your portfolio online also helps to get more people aware of your capabilities and services that you offer.
It is all about getting leverage on the different platforms available online and offline. To be clearly VISIBLE by using other ranked platforms to direct traffic to your side. Getting Keywords pointing to your site ranked and having it being reflected on the 1st page of GOOGLE search.
Having a good clean image also helps to boost your reputation online. Good customer service and being customer focused is recommended by the author.
Reliability on reviews to promote one’s product or service can be questionable. Many websites put up testimonials to increase their credibility however I personally am skeptical on the authenticity of such writings. With the advancement of the internet and also rise of many online markets/ stores. It is increasingly difficult to make one’s presence known in the global marketplace. It is increasingly difficult to create a niche for oneself. The rules of engagement are constantly changing and visibility is slipping through the cracks. Even though the author does give some good suggestions most of the techniques recommended are not that effective in the current climate given the constantly changing algorithms with the different modes of marketing. Nevertheless it does make a good start for one who is interested in creating a presence online.
Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book for review purposes. All opinions are 100% mine
You're readingMid Year Reflections 2018 by: Dominique Goh, originally posted on Dominique's Desk. If you have enjoyed this post, feel free to follow me on Twitter, or Facebook
Do your best and GOD will do the rest
The exams are over and the kids are now having their month long holidays. It had been madness for me personally as I had a mammoth assignment to completed . It has been finally submitted and I cleared that module. Yeah!! I have another 2 elective modules left and can’t wait to complete the course so that I can start on the new one that I have scheduled.
All the kids have their results back and there is certainly room for improvement and many components to work on as highlighted by the various teachers during the PTM. This year as usual it is me going for the sessions alone. It doesn’t bug me that much now that I’ve stop putting expectations on a non-existent father of the kids. It was his choice to not participate in the upbringing of the kids and therefore we have cease pinning any hope on one who will only guarantee you a heartache and broken promise. It is an utter waste of effort to associate with deadwood who will only inflict back all the various forms of domestic abuse – financial, emotional and mental on the kids. No doubt my parenting journey would be easier if there was a willing and participate partner but there has been no regrets for me moving on from a destructive person to save myself and the kids.
For the past six months it has been extremely quiet here on the blog as compared to how it was last year. With Doggie boy in Primary six this year I have to put in more effort in monitoring his work and coaching him. I’ve only have 3 months left to prepare him for the PSLE and it will be full steam ahead now that the June holidays are here. I really hope to be able to improve his competency in all 4 subjects so that he be able to get better grades. Will work extremely close with him in his revision.
Tiger girl is more independent this year being in Primary two. She is able to travel independently by public transport and settle her own meals. She has been doing excellent work in school and getting along well with her peers.
Monkey boy has also matured now that he is in Secondary 2. He is more able to schedule his own time to focus on his studies and has managed to pull up his grades for most subjects. However he has yet to perform up to his true potential and I really feel that he can still be stretched further. Being a teenager he has been going through both physical and emotional changes which has let him to be quite rebellious.
What occurred during the past six months only reconfirmed my believe in the above proclamation. It is not easy to be a parent and a GOOD one to boost. There is the need for a lot of dedication and self- discipline to put the child’s needs above your own personal pleasure and selfish wants. No doubt it is important to exercise self care but if it is at the determent of your child one better start to reflect of their said actions.
It is a real pity that more and more people are unwilling to commit fully to the upbringing of a child. As a result the poor child suffers from bad/ absent parenting as the ” so called parent” is too busy chasing after the latest fads, brands, focusing on satisfying their needs for vanity, material positions or lust. Indulging in sexual immorality and various other unwanted social ills and addictions just for some instant satisfaction which only will cause massive tears within the fabrics of the parent-child relationship.
As a result of their continual insanity and disillusion thinking they rip apart the trust that the child/children used to have for them and remove any shred of possibility of having a normal parent/ grandparent-child relationship. I find this extremely very unfair to the child who SHOULD be given a proper relationship with the whole family.
My personal opinion is if one is so unwilling to be a proper parent/ grandparent he should be totally removed from the child’s life as not to give the innocent bad example and tramatize the kids further with his deliberate choice not to carry out his parental duties. The most appropriate action he should do would be to provide financially for the kids especially if he is more than capable to. Unfortunately such abusers do not even want the kids to live a decent life by providing adequate monthly maintenance so that the children can enjoy their childhood.
Opting to be out of the picture these utterly wicked individuals and their flying monkeys have no right to claim any support from the kids once they enter their twilight years and become frail and helpless. There will be no opportunity for any guilt tripping and gas-lighting to occur with my kids as they have already seen through their true colors and will not be hoodwinked anymore by the vampire and witch clans. No doubt I would like them to have proper/ real relationships and also a “complete” family (as based on society’s standards) it is not something which is a must for now.
My Definition of a “complete” family is one where all individuals who choose to be part of the family love and trust each other and will do their best to keep each other grounded. There is unity with GOD as our central pillar of strength. Having spending more time doing various bible studies this year my understanding of the WORD has certainly deepened and it has been with his grace that we were able to tie through all the turbulence which we had this 2018.
Challenges have been a plenty however I take it all in my stride as I march forward putting my best foot first. With GOD as my protector and guide I am sure I’ll be able to survive all obstacles that I will/may face.
You're readingCelebrating Me by: Dominique Goh, originally posted on Dominique's Desk. If you have enjoyed this post, feel free to follow me on Twitter, or Facebook
Me in my latest haircut
As we celebrate International Women’s Day today I have been reflecting on what it means to be ME.
It hasn’t been easy been ME. Having been on this planet for 39 yrs and counting I have been through a whole array of different experiences which have shaped me into the way I am today. The decisions that I have made through the years have made me into a stronger and better person.
I know that I am powerful and have learnt not to give away my power to others. Never again. I will let others dictate the way I should live. I am me and I’m not going to change just to suit others whims and fancies. The most important decision maker about things relating to me is ME. Only Me.
Me with Monkey Boy in HK when he was a baby
I’m no longer a newly minted mom like I was when Monkey Boy was born 14 yrs ago. We just celebrated his birthday over pizza on the weekend and it has certainly been an achievement solo parenting him all these years. I never regretted my decision to put my career on the back burner when he was born. I have always wanted to be a hands on mother and witness every single milestone that my kids go through. I’m glad that I’ve stuck to that made years back as it has given me tremendous satisfaction seeing them grow from helpless infants to the independent little adults that they are today. It hasn’t been easy as all three of them have different characters and quirks. There is no way that I can use the same methods across the board with all and a lot of adaptions have to be done even though I have to go through each stage thrice!!
monkey boy and me
Monkey boy has been one of my biggest challenge so far. It had been an extremely steep learning curve with him learning how to be a mother. There has been many unexpected and extremely intense moments navigating the deep water of motherhood that forced me out of my comfort zone. With him you can expect to constantly think out of the box and come up with various ingenious methods and techniques to deal with him. He frequently challenges authority and can really be a handful to manage. However having gone through the tough experiences with him give me more experience on how to handle the other younger two when they come to their teenage years.
It would have been easier for me handling the kids if I had a supportive and hands on father to the kids. Alas it was not to be as I was unfortunate to have an Ex who was totally hands off . He wouldn’t even attempt to spend time celebrating the kids birthday with them prioritizing his own interests above the kids. To date he has never celebrate Doggie Boy’s birthday together with him even though the boy has requested this from him on countless occasions. I used to feel mad about this and resented the Ex for his abusive behavior towards me and the kids. These negative feelings got me feeling very bitter at ends and it was in 2016 when I decided to put a stop to this toxic person’s foothold over me and the kids.
I know that we DESERVE the best and if one party constantly refuses to put in the needed effort it is best that he leaves the family least he constantly causes further anguish and frustration to other family members.
Now two years on in 2018 I am proud to announce that I’ve come a long way from being that unsure and frighten girl who was conned into believing the words and threats of a demon who tried to enslave me through his abusive ways. I was one who had anxiety attacks and countless sleepless nights resulting in chronic insomnia due to the extreme levels of stress brought about by the Devils who were in our lives.
Since then I have grown in confidence and phased out the Devils in our life it has been much more peaceful. I’m now an assertive lady who knows what she wants and will go all out for it. I no longer get fazed by evil and stare back at it straight in the eye. With GOD as my guide and protector there is nothing too difficult which cannot be handled.
Tiger girl and me
I know what I want to do and have been taking action to get to my desired goals. I am even more focus now as a single parent playing both the role of father and mother to my kids. I know that I am not perfect however this doesn’t hamper me from giving my best to the kids.
I’m glad that I have overcome the trials and turbulence that had been thrown into my life and emerged victorious. I do know it is a long journey for me and I will constantly face challenges and obstacles however with an open mindset and focusing on GOD I’m equipped to handle everything.
2018 had started out with me being in a very reflective mood. I had been thinking a lot on how I could have a closer walk with GOD and understand the scriptures better. For many years I have been thinking of how I could improve spiritual health as I know that it hasn’t been very good.
I grew up in a Catholic family and have been following their traditions and customs when I was growing up. Now as an adult I start questioning more about the validity of certain traditions and if they were really meant as GOD wanted for us. Many customs that are found in religion are man made and not justified by the WORD as so I question the meaning of having them and just following suit blindly. I couldn’t find answers with the church nor could the community that I was in help me find the answers to the questions that I had. As I searched more traditions and customs that I had been made to observe started to make no sense to me. I didn’t want to blindly follow and go through the motions nor remain as a Sunday catholic anymore. Religion should play a more significant part of my life and be a pillar of the kids lives too.
Since 2016 I decided to start reading the bible and started up doing bible studies by following the schedules which were created by the LOVE GOD GREATLY community. I followed along each time a new bible study was added and have gone through 22 focused studies to date. I started visiting other churches and moved out of the Catholic realm altogether. I explored the Anglican, Methodist and Baptist Church before finding the one which the kids and I are most comfortable in last December. Since changing to this current church the kids and I are looking forward more eagerly to spending time in GOD’s house on Sundays. Having the proper spiritual support system in place is important as with the numerous evils in this world we need to give the kids the best arsenal possible in the event that they need to be involved in a spiritual battle.
The path to GOD is not easy. I have been told that I will face difficulties and be set on challenges which I will have to pass before I’m able to step up a step closer to him. My values and believes will be constantly tested and only if I surrender all and lean on him for support will I be able to sustain myself on this journey here on earth. There will constantly be temptations of this WORLD which try to sway me and I know that I have him with me to deflect the urges for personal gratification and material accumulation which should not be my focus at all. However come all that may I’m still going to place my bet on GOD.
Through the turmoil that I have endured these past few years I now know how important it is to be centered personally in Christ. It can be said that I have had a spiritual awakening and have personally experienced how he has worked wonders in my life and pulled me through one of the most challenging times of my life to date with the numerous life altering decisions that I had to make since 2016.
To know GOD is to immerse yourself completely with him. Daily scripture reading is a habit which I have cultivated and will be modelling to the kids so they too can experience the wonders of the WORD that GOD has given us. Without GOD we will not be able to enjoy the peace and joy that we seek.
To know the WORD is not enough. One must take action and be the living example if they want their kids too grow in their faith. This year I aim to bring prayer actively into my household and to immerse the kids in his WORD.
How do you focus on building up your Spiritual Wellness?
January was a month of new experience for the kids and me. It was the start of 2018 and we were lucky to be able to try out the Luge and Skyride at night. Ever since Skyline Luge Sentosa added on it’s night ride and new tracks the kids have been bugging me to let the visit the Luge so they can enjoy racing each other down the slope.
the night view on the Skyride
We visited the place on a Wednesday night as I wasn’t too keen to jostle with the crowd on the weekend. It was extremely cooling at night especially after the rain in the afternoon. It was the first time that we were taking the Skyride at night and were blown away by the night scenery. Besides the lights from the ships and buildings from afar we were also intrigued by the neon lights that lit up the Jungle Trail and Dragon Trail which were below us. The view was so much better at night then in the day.
The kids and me
When we reached the top of the skyride the kids couldn’t wait to get their helmets on before they started on the Luge ride back down to the bottom of the slope. I didn’t take any photos with the kids as we were racing down the slope as it wasn’t safe to steer the LUGE with one hand while negotiating the various turns on the way down. We had two rides down the slopes and during the first ride Tiger girl doubled up with me while her brothers went on a vehicle each.
The Skyride Luge Sentosa has changed quite a bit since we were there 2 years ago. They recently added in two new tracks- the 658 metre long Expedition and 638 metre Kupu Kupu, which means “Butterfly” in Malay. We were keen to try out the new tracks and went down each trail once. The boys went off on their own while the girl and I leisurely cruised while making our way down. After a doubled up ride with me Tiger girl’s confidence was boosted and she was keen to do her first solo Luge ride now at 7 yrs old. It was a milestone achievement for her handling the Luge on her own and she could maneuver the corners without much difficulty. I would had loved to be able to document her first solo ride but unfortunately wasn’t equipped with a GoPro attached to the helmet for easy videoing during our visit. Maybe next time!!
Doggie boy coming to a stop at the end of the ride
The fun ended all too soon for the kids as they came to the bottom of the slope a 2nd time. They wanted to go for more rides but it was nearly closing time and with the next day a school day we had to head back home to make it in time for bedtime for all. It was a great midweek chill out activity for all and are looking forward to the next time where we be back for another few rounds on the LUGE.
Skyline Luge Sentosa
Opening hours – 10am till 9.30pm
For more information do check out their facebook page.
Disclaimer: The kids and I were invited for a fun time at Skyline Luge Sentosa. All opinions are 100% mine.
In his book he explains the reasons why parents have been failing. Many of them do not introduce the WORD to their kids on a daily basis. The limited interaction the kids have with the scripture makes it more difficult for them to understand and seek GOD.
When you give children the Word daily, you give them God daily, and trust me; they need God daily.
It is important to live by the WORD and be the one as the parent to show how the scriptures can be part of everyday life. This will help to keep them grounded and away from the temptation of evil. The lackadaisical attitude that adults have been having towards developing spiritual awareness and guidance of our youth have led to more and more social ills.
We need to be good examples to our kids so they can follow and imitate our behavior and be in GOD’s favor.
We should be able to say what Paul said, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1 NIV).
We need to let the child take the rein and show us his learning. He needs to read the bible for himself and explain his understanding of the scriptures to be able to reflect on the message that is being transmitted. We need to train our kids and not just preach to them. It takes a discipline parent to incorporate the love of GOD in their child. It also takes time for the child to get to know and be able to communicate with GOD as we are currently doing.
We are given all the tools that we need to be able to guide our kids in their spiritual walk.
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the Lord, And in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, That brings forth its fruit in its season, Whose leaf also shall not wither; And whatever he does shall prosper. —Psalm 1:1–3 (NKJV)
Lee mentions in his book that parents play a very important role in guiding their kids towards living Godly lives. Their actions and choices that they make on behalf of their kids help to give their kids the proper directions in life. Whatever you do as a parent impacts on the lives of your child.
He shares with his readers 9 principles which will help to guide them as parents.
Commit Each Child to God
Holiness Lived infront of Them
Instruct and Train your Child in the way they should Go
Love and esteem your spouse properly
Declare your Child’s Future
Receive resources on Marriage and Family regularly
Esteem and love your Child Properly
Never let your child stay under Ungodly Influence
I could really relate to what LEE was saying in his book. We need to make cautious effort as a parent in help to develop our kids spiritual life. Putting emphasis on teaching our kids how to create a relationship with GOD has equal weightage to teaching our kids about what they need to learn academically.
I personally am focusing a lot on my personal walk with GOD and hope to be able to guide the kids in their walk too. Being a Single Parent without external help it has been difficult balancing all the different role together with keeping sane. The dynamics in the family has been quite unbalanced due to the inability of the kids father to properly play his part in their lives. However not all has been lost in ensuring that they are other ways that the kids can get proper spiritual guidance through the church that we are currently attending.
Reading the book gave me more clarity on how I am to continue guiding the kids on their spiritual walk and how to focus on my spiritual goals too.
There is a new place in town where the kids can have some afternoon fun. Located at 2 Orchard Link, *Scape Co. Ltd, #02-15 HadoSingapore is a space where one can try out games like the HadoShoot,Hado Monster Battle or have a go at PvP.
One of the battle arenas at HadoSingapore
There was two main battle arenas in the shop. The one nearer the entrance was for Hado Shoot and Hado Monster Battle. I played the game together with the kids and had the whole experience on how AR can stimulate your senses.
The two main battle arenas
Before we played the games the battler masters gave us a briefing on the gear that we would be using and how they operated. Each of us were given a headset which was made up of a Iphone attached to magnifying glasses. The software being use to project the monsters and other creatures had been pre-loaded to the phone which was linked to a main server.
Augmented Reality (AR) games are different from Virtual Reality (VR) game as they require movement on the part of the player and are not restricted by cables nor have gadgets like swords or guns to handle. Each player is strapped on with a headset and a hand sensor which co-ordinates with the sensors on the walls that they are facing. Embedded in the colorful graphics on the wall were motion sensors that could detect the swipe of a player’s hand as they launch cannonballs and their location while actively engaging in the game.
Tiger Girl with the Hand sensor for PvP
We were given Ipods are motion sensors like the one in the picture above when we played PvP. Each player could modify how “strong” they wanted their shield, big their cannonball should be, speed of their bulllet etc
Pvp game at hadosingapore - YouTube
Here is a video that was shot during our playtime. It shows how the players interact with each other using their hands to blast cannonballs etc We had a 3V3 with the battlemasters and it was boys vs girls.
Hadosingapore Pvp game - YouTube
Here is a video which I took showing how the game plays out from the players lens.
It can be said out of the 3 games the kids love the PvP the best as they had a total of 5 rounds in different formats -2 Vs 2, 3 vs 3, 1 vs 1. We can’t wait to revisit the place when the Hado Karts make their way to Singapore in the 1st quarter of 2018.
On Children’s Day the kids and I were invited for lunch over at Food Lovers Only by AT Marketing Counsultancy. A very bubbly Abby greeted us at the restaurant and introduced us to the various dishes on the menu.
Tiger girl checking out the toys which were displayed on the shelve
The toys on the shelf attracted Tiger girl when we entered the restaurant. The displays were really kid friendly and she gravitated towards the toys and started playing while her brother choose the dishes they wanted to eat.
The kids with Abby
It was our 2nd visit to Food Lovers Only a Halal certified medium size cafe on the 2nd floor of IMM. There has been some additions to their K-FLO menu and the kids were looking forward to trying the dishes there.
New dishes at Food Lovers Only
Don’t the dishes look yummy?? Unfortunately the kids were not keen on trying them out so we ordered something else instead.
Apple Mushroom Salad $11.90
I ordered a Apple Mushroom Salad for myself as I wanted to keep it light for my lunch. The Mesclun, apple, mushroom, walnut, cherry tomato and balsamic dressing made it a tantalizing dish to savor.
$7 Milkshakes for the kids
The kids have been craving for milkshakes and were delighted that they served it at Food Lovers Only. We ordered a Strawberry, Cookies & Cream and Vanilla milkshake. Can you guess which kid had which milkshake?
French Toast which Tiger girl ordered
Tiger girl didn’t want something too filling also so she decided on Flo’s French Toast ($13.50). She was attracted by the fruits on the toast as blueberries and strawberries are her favourite.
The dish was really aesthetically appealing but fell a bit short for her as she complained that it was a bit too sweet for her liking.
FLO’s Club sandwich ($15.90) that Doggie Boy had
Brioche, turkey ham, sliced tomato, marinated pulled chicken slices, cucumber and egg mayo was what Doggie boy dug into during lunch. He loved the blend of tastes as he munched down on the sandwich.
Beef Bulgogi Sandwich $17
Monkey boy ordered for himself a bulgogi sandwich which was made of Panini, beef slices, sautéed onion, sliced tomato, cheese and bulgogi dressing with a side of chips and salad.
Tom Yum Prawn Pasta $18.60
Abby ordered this for herself. Spaghetti, Prawn , Mushrooms, cherry tomatoes, garlic, chili, chives , cream and cheese. It smelled really nice and she mentioned that it was very tasty too. Maybe the next time that I visit the place I may order this to try.
Tiger girl can’t wait to sink her teeth into the yummy dessert
A meal is never complete without dessert!!
Upon Abby’s recommendation we ordered the Sweet Divine ($15)
Freshly baked crispy waffle, pavlova, mini marshmallows, premium vanilla bean ice cream, maple sauce, chocolate sauce, horlick sauce at the side. . The dessert was served with coconut and chocolate ice-cream. It would be great if they had a wider selection of ice-cream as Tiger girl actually wanted strawberry ice-cream on the waffle but it wasn’t available.
The kids weren’t able to finish their dessert as it was a bit too sweet for their liking. However overall we enjoyed our meal and wouldn’t mind visiting Food Lovers Only again for lunch.
Disclaimer: The kids and me were invited for a food tasting session at Food Lovers. Opinions are 100% mine.
We are now in the tail end of 2018. In exactly 27 more days we will be ringing in the new year. It’s time to welcome the new year again. It is the time for year end reflections and to look back to see how the year has been while at the same time planning and re- setting the goals for the next year.
2017 has been moving at breathtaking speed with non stop roller coaster action for me and the kids. This year my focus was slightly different from before. In January I listed out 20 Ideas to Make this the Best Year Ever. If you are lazy to click over to look at the post I’m posting it here again in this post to let you know my progress down that list.
Make a conscious effort to de-clutter your surroundings. ( I have been doing this on quarterly basis)
Visit new places (I’ve been to a few new cafes/shops in Singapore that only opened this year)
Make new friends ( I’m averaging about a totally new friend every month or so)
Re-connect with old friends/ acquaintances ( I’ve met up with friends I made 14yrs ago from the baby forum which I joined when Monkey boy was born. It had been nearly 10+ years since I met up with some of them and was really good to catch up with the gals)
Take up a course ( I’ve taken up AED + CPR and now a certified First Aider)
Learn a new language ( I’m started learning Korean online and am still going through the modules)
Re-commit to a exercise regime ( This year I had my virgin appearance at a gym and have restarted my home gym exercises)
Sleep better ( Still work in progress on this)
Eat clean / healthy ( I’m eating salads on a daily basis and have upped my intake of vegetables and fruits)
Focus on yourself before others ( My health and sanity is of the utmost importance and I now say NO more often then before to things that will not be beneficial towards me)
Learn from the past and DON’T repeat it. ( I’m extremely clear what I want and don’t want now )
Remove the bad apples and keep the good apples in your life (I’m now more careful and more stringent about the people that I want in the kids and my life. I do not want any toxic people to traumatize or spoil their childhood. )
Stay away from unnecessary drama (from other people) ( I refuse to get suck into useless feuds nor indulge in idle gossip. If they aren’t able to deal with their own issues it is their problem don’t throw it onto me as I won’t be picking up any of your trash on your behalf)
Revamp your wardrobe ( I’ve changed many pieces of clothing in my wardrobe this year as they have gotten too loose to wear. I’ve also updated it with more trendy pieces)
Streamline your operations and optimize (The household has been running more smoothly since I’ve done some amendments to everyone’s schedule. Now that the kids are bigger they are able to help out more therefore working as a team lesser time is needed to get the daily chores done)
Spend more time with family and love ones. ( I’m spending max time with the kids after school, bringing them out to have more varied and new experience and also doing more activities 1 on 1)
Hug and Kiss more ( The guys are getting more hugs from me now as they are not really into kisses since they are older)
Create a Vision board ( I have been having one up in my room since last year and slowly everything is falling in place)
Plan regular date nights ( I do both afternoon dates and night date with the kids depending on their schedule)
Read more ( I’m exploring reading more varied genres that I have been previously reading to widen my knowledge)
Me in my CNY Outfit
In Feb I finished my final post in the education series which I started off in 2015 entitled – Bridging the GAP I initially aimed to do a series a year however family commitments grew heavier as the kids grew up therefore the series got sideline till I finally had the chance to pen the last post.
Having read and studied up about health I was more focus on working on achieving fat loss besides weight loss. This year I’ve tried two different programs and got to know more about how my body functions and what is the best way for me to keep up my energy levels and staying healthy. Even though I am still far from my personal weight goal I’m better equipped in my knowledge on health and nutrition . The main reason why it has been an extremely difficult journey to optimal weight/ fitness has to deal with the intense STRESS levels that I have been having this year.
I’ve yet to learn how to reduce my stress level when I get triggered by external circumstances or environment. I guess when the main issue which I am facing this year gets resolved next year it will be a great load off my back.
You can say that I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting this year and getting to know myself better. I now am more certain of what I want and set my boundaries even more clearly then before. My level of tolerance for certain people and situations have greatly plummeted as I no longer put up with Toxic individuals who are only doing things on their own agenda for their own benefit. I have redefined who constitutes as family members to me and you can be certain that blood relations that are tainted are not even considered within the definition.
Me in a floral dress
I’m more determined then ever to achieve my goals and get to where I project myself to be come 2018.
Social wellness refers to the relationships we have and how we interact with others. Our relationships can offer support during difficult times. It is important to build healthy, nurturing and supportive relationships as well as fostering a genuine connection with those around you.
As they say the circle of friends you hang around with defines you. They help to shape your thoughts and perception on how you want to lead your life. Therefore it is extremely important to be careful about who you let into your inner circle.
Quality vs Quantity
As I grow older I get more selective about who I want around me. Not everyone may be who they seem on first experience. Sometimes something that seems too good to be true may turn out to be a rotten apple disguised as a golden one. Relationships have to be two ways be it with benefits, communication and understanding for it to be long lasting. It cannot be something one sided where one party continually takes what the other offers and suck him dry over time.
A Mantra I follow
I’ve met many people who are FAKE . They pretend to be nice and concern about you but in actuality they are just sizing you up so that they can exploit your trust, abilities and achievement for their own personal benefits. When they are being called out for their inconsistencies / lies or exaggerations they become defensive and even abusive attacking your character and values. The mask that they have been parading around drops and their true behavior and intentions can be seen. They refuse to take responsibility for their own action and blame everyone else except themselves. These individuals are Highly delusional these individuals and I refuse to have them around me and the kids. Period.
Blood relationships are not as important to me as before. I’ve learnt that not all are your family. Some of my previous relationships are now of no significance to me especially when they are from highly toxic individuals with tainted blood. It was a pity that I was born into a toxic extended family. Their constant bickering and comparison had affected me and my perception of what a relationship should be.
It had taken me quite awhile to eliminate all the toxic ones who were outwardly and/or passively aggressive to me and the kids. We deserve a normal life and one which is free from others who were constantly undermining or demeaning us for their own selfish agenda.
Life is difficult enough as a single mom of three and there is no need to add on unwanted and nonsensical drama by these delusional individuals to our lives to make it harder.
Another mantra which I subscribe to.
I frown upon people who easily pass judgment on others so they “appear” to be superior to others. Who are they to judge when GOD doesn’t judge? No doubt you and I have flaws but it is not something to be constantly targeted by others in attempt to bring down your level of self confidence or bully you into submission with their constant criticism .
Emerging from a 20 yr long abusive relationship I’ve grown stronger and wiser. I’m no longer the naive 16 yr old who blindly trusted others, especially elders, to guide me along the path with their ” trust me I know better” attitude. I won’t let other people destroy my self esteem nor integrity. I’m my own women and am accountable to myself and GOD and not these people.
My most important asset is my time therefore I am not going to waste time on fake people who don’t need my attention. I’m no longer settling for mediocre or below standard and other time wasters. I trust actions more then words and when they do not match up I won’t be wasting my time and effort on these time wasters.
Time is extremely precious to me being a single mom with multiple portfolios to juggle. I cannot and do not want to spend it unproductively. I want to surround myself with people who will lift me up and spur me on to be the best version of myself.
Through all the trials and tribulations that I have faced especially during the past two years this can’t be even more true to me. I now surround myself with like minded individuals who are are non judgmental and supportive in my endeavors. I on my part try my best to support my friends and family to the best of my ability without compromising my values, integrity and goals.
I show by my own actions as an example to my kids what are healthy and unhealthy relationships and how to seek out and maintain healthy ones in their lives.