When it comes to survival, we are visual animals, and our vision helps us to succeed physically. As a species, our eyesight is our most developed sense.
We have stereoscopic sight that can detect a wide variety of colours and shading. This, in turn, lets us see easily see patterns and movement.
These combined abilities allowed us to avoid becoming dinner while trying to get dinner for ourselves. Our vision helped us to succeed physically, and it still does today.
When it comes to business success, vision is no less critical to survival. However, instead of our sense of sight, this vision involves our sense of imagination and possibility.
A Vision Of Successful Outcomes
Vision, in the business sense, is the ability to visualize successful outcomes. It is the ability to imagine positive results. It is, at its heart, the ability to lucidly dream of where you want to go with your business.
Don’t be afraid to dream. As Henry Ford once said, if you think you can do something or if you think you can’t do something, you’re right.
So, spend a few minutes each day visualizing where exactly you plan on going, and you plan on getting there. This is not daydreaming, far from it.
“You need to have a vision. To have the ability to see the invisible. If you can see the invisible, then you can achieve the impossible.” – David Brett-Williams
This is focused development, scheduling and organization. Plan your day by seeing the optimum outcomes.
This is the same process that athletes use to hone their performance. When you imagine yourself succeeding, you are more likely to actually succeed.
Remember, if you don’t take the time to build your dreams, someone will hire you to take the time to build theirs.
Focus And Endurance For Your Career
In any activity or endeavour, it is essential to build endurance. Endurance is defined as the ability to focus on the task at hand and bring it successfully to conclusion.
Some call it courage, and others call it strength or stamina. No matter what you call it though, endurance is the ability to persevere and get the job done, no matter what.
Usually, when we speak of endurance, we’re referring to physical activity. Endurance is as important in the business world as it is anywhere else.
“Just because a man lacks the use of his eyes doesn’t mean he lacks vision.” – Stevie Wonder
In business circles, endurance usually takes the form of focus. Instead of physical prowess, it becomes the ability to concentrate successfully on a given task.
Focus is a critical skill set for any business owner, especially in today’s fast-paced world where success often means keeping several equally important balls in the air at one time.
The Key To Successful Focus
So, how do you focus on multitasking? A situation where, by its very definition, several things are happening at once. Well, the key to successful focus is attention.
When several things are happening simultaneously, you need to concentrate on only one thing at a time. This doesn’t mean that you bring one task to full completion before you start on another.
“Teamwork makes the dream work, but a vision becomes a nightmare when the leader has a big dream and a bad team.” – John C. Maxwell
Instead, you spend just enough time on a given task to take it to the next stage of development, and then you turn your attention to another task. In some sense, it’s a little like being a mother duck with ducklings.
You give your attention to the duckling that is farthest out of line, nudging it forward to where it should be before you turn your attention to the next little duck.
Each duckling gets a measure of your focus, but none gets your full attention all the time. In this way, each task gets moved along in turn, and all are successfully completed in time.
Professional Success Requires Persistence
Ok, let’s talk about persistence. For starters, how many old sayings, aphorisms and clichés are there about persistence?
The early bird gets the worm. Slow and steady wins the race. If at first, you don’t succeed, try again. If life gives you lemons make lemonade.
The list goes on and on.
“Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world.” – Joel A. Barker
The reason that there are so many old sayings about persistence is twofold: First, it’s an essential element in success and second, it an element of success that gives a lot of people a lot of trouble.
Something as essential and troublesome as persistence deserves a lot of clichéd sayings and a lot of attention.
The problem with the road to success is that many people only picture the destination, not the journey.
The Vision Of Success As A Lifelong Process
When they do this, they not only fail to see that real success is not a destination (it’s a lifelong process), but they also fail to see the potential problems that routinely occur when striving for success.
When these problems occur, the unprepared person is stopped dead in their tracks. In their confusion, they forget where they were going and why and instead head back to where they came from.
When you prepare for and anticipate the setbacks that can and will happen on the journey to success, you are ready to repair, rethink and re-engage.
The persistent person understands that failure is a temporary condition that affects everyone at one time or another before they reach their goal. They also understand that failure and setback teach powerful lessons that ultimately make you stronger.
As Gandhi said, strength does not come through winning. Instead, strength comes through failure.
When you struggle and decide not to quit, that is strength. It is also persistence and points up why every successful business owner understands that setbacks are opportunities in disguise. Simply stay true to your vision.
So, you may be asking yourself “What exactly is an outstanding mindset?” Well, an outstanding mindset is a real, verifiable psychological phenomenon.
It turns out that many long-term successful individuals possess specific characteristics that they share with other long-term successful individuals. This set of characteristics has been termed an outstanding or growth mindset.
Now, some people, who tend to achieve less than their full potential, also possess a set of characteristics that they share with other under-achievers. This set of traits has been dubbed the “fixed mindset”.
An Outstanding Or A Fixed Mindset
Most people, more or less, fall in one camp or the other.
People with an outstanding mindset tend to have a desire to learn from life. This desire leads to the ability to embrace challenges, to overcome setbacks, to see effort as worth the results, to accept criticism and to admire and learn from the successes of others.
“The more efficient you are, the better you feel and the more you will use your talent in conjunction with your outstanding mindset to produce outstanding results.” – David Brett-Williams
These behaviours allow native intelligence to grow throughout a lifetime. People with an outstanding mindset are believers in free will. And this belief allows them to achieve their goals time and time again.
People with a fixed mindset tend to have a desire to appear smart, with a corresponding fear of looking foolish.
The Downsides Of A Fixed Mindset
Their desire leads them to avoid challenges, to give up easily, to see extra effort as wasted, to ignore or reject criticism and to envy and resent the success of others.
These behaviours tend to limit native intelligence to a fixed amount. People with a fixed mindset often plateau early in life and fail to have, let alone reach, fixed goals.
The good news is that an outstanding mindset can be cultivated relatively quickly by changing some critical behaviours. First of all, you have to decide to choose growth over stagnation.
You also have to be willing to take affirmative action and begin to accept challenges and criticism and learning from both. An excellent way to start is by developing the philosophy of “yet”.
This simple step simple attaches the word “yet” to the end of every negative thought. As in “That will never work, yet…” or “It’s probably not worth going, yet…”
This simple trick opens up the possibility for growth, and that possibility leads to changed behaviour that actually does cause the development of the outstanding mindset.
Success In Business Requires Flexibility
There is nothing more stifling to success than rigid thinking. Rigid thinking leads to rigid behaviours, and rigid behaviours lead to dead ends, blind alleys and creative cul de sacs.
In other words, while there is a certain amount of comfort to routine, too much routine can choke off all chances that you will be able to reach your business goals successfully. Why? The answer is simple.
“People of limited ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they have an outstanding mindset and don’t know when to quit. Most men people because they are made up their mind to.” – David Brett-Williams
The world, including the business world, is constantly changing. Rigid thinking and rigid behaviour, by definition, are resistant to change.
Therefore, rigidity, in thought and action, spells obsolescence in the business world. Everyone else moves forward while you are left behind in the dust. So, what’s the answer to this problem? In a word, flexibility.
Information Is Power
In today’s world, information is power, money and control all rolled into one. The fast and free flow of information is what makes this possible.
Everything changes quickly. What is a successful formula or a popular product in one cycle can be, and usually is, old news in the next.
The only way to successfully stay on top of this bucking bronco of information and use it to your advantage is to be flexible enough to roll with the changes and that requires an outstanding mindset.
Flexibility is easy to achieve. But only as long as you are not too tied down to any single idea, product, service or manner of delivery.
If you keep up with changing market conditions through judicious use of the flow of information, you can easily spot new trends and adopt them successfully. And usually before your competitors have had time to act.
The only trick is not to fear change and, instead, embrace it. If change is the only reality in the business world, then, to be successful in that world, change as to be your reality as well.
Cultivate Your Creative Muscles
Creativity can be elusive. It’s not something that you can summon at will. When it happens, it strikes like lightning. Yet, like lightning, it can be maddeningly unpredictable.
However, because creativity is an essential element of a successful business mindset, it is necessary to understand the creative process and how you, the business owner, can cultivate your own creative juices.
“Outstanding leaders make it a focal point to boost the self-esteem of their team and help them develop and outstanding mindset. When people believe in themselves, it’s amazing what they can accomplish.” – David Brett-Williams
The creative process is mainly internal and unconscious. No one ever wakes up and says “Hey! Today I’m going to be creative.”
Creativity is all about taking in a lot of influences. And letting those influences combine, ferment and morph in your subconscious. Together, they form a sort of mental potting soil. And this is where new and different ideas have a chance to germinate and grow.
Developing An Outstanding Mindset
The more things you learn, read, see and hear the more creative soil you can produce.
So, as a business owner who wants to be creative, the best thing you can do is get out there and in the world and open yourself up to new experiences.
Be curious about many different things. Develop hobbies. Challenge yourself. Do the unexpected.
The more you push your own personal envelope and develop your outstanding mindset, the more you are charging your own creative batteries.
When those batteries are charged, it is much more likely that inspiration will strike. Who knows where that new idea will take you?
The world is built, to some extent, on the concept of competition. Everything living competes for specific resources that are needed to grow, thrive and outperform ecological rivals.
Sunlight, space, water and nutrients are utilized to the fullest extent by the smallest to largest creatures wherever they are found and in whatever quantities.
As human beings, we are hardwired to engage in this competition too. It’s a part of our genetic heritage and one every business owner needs to embrace.
“There will always be competition, but competitors don’t have to be enemies, you can empower each other.” – David Brett-Williams
The problem is that some people perceive competition as a somewhat undesirable trait. This is because these people look at competition as a black and white issue.
It is seen as either a win at all cost, take no prisoners proposition or as a watered down and barely discernable version of itself, where consensus and agreement are the order of the day.
The Power Of Competition
This imposed polarity masks the true nature and power of competition. In reality, competitiveness is neither a black or white extreme. Instead, genuine competition is a potent force for positive change.
The successful business person knows that healthy and honest competition is the motive force behind innovation.
The business world, like the natural world, is driven forward by this continuing innovation that occurs in response to changes in the existing environment. In the natural world, these changes are primarily climactic.
The life form that best adapts to these changes survives and thrives. In the business world, these changes are socio-economic. The business that best predicts market trends and meets demand most efficiently also survives and thrives.
Competition Is The Lifeblood Of The Marketplace
As a business owner, you need to remember that competition is the lifeblood of the marketplace. It not only drives innovation, but it also inspires creativity and helps build new paradigms.
Don’t shy away from your naturally competitive nature. You are in the game to win the game, so are your fellow business owners.
“The ultimate victory in competition is derived from the inner satisfaction of knowing that you have done your best and that you have gotten the most out of what you had to give.” – Howard Cosell
Challenge yourself and challenge them in the process. Through competition, you each drive the others to better products, services and performance.
Each winner shows the way to the next level, the next round and the next race. Remember, competition is the real heart of business success.
Network and Connect
In business, as in life, you can’t go it alone. It’s said that none of us are islands, but if we were each of us form a vast and interconnected archipelago.
Bridges and boats stream traffic between all these islands and that traffic is mostly information.
If you cut yourself off from this flow of information, either purposely or by mistake, you do so at your peril. Why? Because the island next to you is going to take those connections and the information they provide and use it to his or her advantage.
Networking is an essential element of every successful business.
It provides you with contacts, leads, clients, partners, suppliers and much more. It carries your name and your business reputation farther and more efficiently than most advertising.
Most importantly, it is an endless source of profit, ideas, collaboration and support. If you are networking, you should do more. Or if you’re not networking, you need to start.
If you don’t network, your business will stagnate and die.
Network And Meet The Competition
When you’re networking, you need to keep a couple of essential points in mind. First, every social or professional engagement can provide you with an opportunity to network.
There’s often nothing more formal about it than an exchange of information and follow-up connection. Remember, as a business owner, you’re always “on the clock”, so to speak.
Be ready to take advantage of a potentially lucrative networking situation should the opportunity arise.
“Success scares people. When you don’t put the time in and when you don’t climb the ladder of success, everybody loves you because they don’t view you as competition.” – Nicki Minaj
Second, when you are networking, treat people naturally, the way you’d want to be treated. Offer no strings advice. Often solving a problem for free generates more long-term profit than the cost of the advice or service.
Also, listen more than you talk. Silence really can be golden when you take the time to hear what another person is saying.
Finally, always remember that honesty is the best policy. Don’t promise something that you cannot produce. Don’t be someone you’re not to close a deal. Be yourself and watch those connections grow!
Professional Success Requires Personal Confidence
Nothing succeeds like success, right? Sure. However, real success comes from confidence and confidence, in turn, comes from success.
They each revolve around the other in the ultimate symbiotic relationship. However, this is not a “what came first, the chicken or the egg?” kind of proposition.
Confidence precedes success in the order of appearance. That’s because the quiet assurance of real confidence, as opposed to mere cockiness, serves to lay the foundation for reaching a goal.
In this way, confidence is more of an outward manifestation of an inward persona than it is a pose or an affectation. Cockiness, on the other hand, is simply on an outward shield that masks inward insecurity.
As a business owner, you need to be confident of yourself and your product or service. People react positively to a confident person, especially if that confidence is real and a part of that person’s soul.
To develop this type of real confidence, there are several things that you can do.
Real Confidence In The Face Of Competition
First, always remember that confident people can take a stand on an issue or a decision not because they think they are right, but because they are not afraid to be wrong.
They see a difficult situation as an opportunity for growth. Finding the right solution to a problem is more important than being right. Therefore, if they are wrong, they will be the first people to admit it and move on.
Confident people often listen far more often then they talk. They are more interested in hearing different information and opinions than they are in broadcasting their own.
“If you’re a true warrior, competition doesn’t scare you. It makes you better.” – Andrew Whitworth
And they are never afraid to admit fallibility and ask for help. They know that other people’s knowledge is their greatest strength.
Finally, they understand that success is a team sport. They know that any goal is achieved through the efforts of many, not the will of the few.
Therefore, they share the spotlight of success and shine it on others far more than they shine it on themselves.
Be Accepting Of Yourself While Striving For Greatness
There is absolutely no way for you to be successful and reach your goals until you accept who you are. You have to like yourself and what you do before anyone else will.
The world detects how you feel about yourself and often shares the opinion you have about who you are. Be yourself and free yourself in the process.
You are a unique individual. Your talents and abilities, your intelligence and interests, your opinions and tastes, make you who you are.
There is no need to hide a part of yourself or alter a part of yourself for the sake of conformity.
Real success is about freedom, and all truly successful people are individualists who have, more or less, accepted and glorified who they are. You should do the same.
The Very Best Version Of Yourself
At the same time, being yourself does not mean glorying in mediocrity. You need to be the very best version of yourself possible.
This means that you have to work at being you. You have to put the time into self-improvement.
“Success for me is always going out there and putting 100% into whatever I’m doing. It’s not always about winning.” – David Brett-Williams
Acceptance is not an excuse for laziness, cowardice or fear. Life is a privilege. It is a gift. The gift and the privilege of life is that you get to be yourself, the best self you can possibly be.
Use the gift, take advantage of the privilege that you’ve been given. Don’t squander the chance.
Let your own unique light shine forth.
This is the light that will illuminate the path to real success in life. It will also be the light that attracts other people to you.
If you do not invest in personal development, you are limiting your true potential. Personal development affects your entire life, not just your work life or your personal life.
It’s incredible how many people don’t attempt to improve themselves. And oddly, these are the same people that wonder why they are not getting anywhere with their lives.
Here are some guidelines to use that will help you:
Invest: Imagine How You Want to Shape Your Life
What exactly have you been waiting for? Is it the right opportunity? Or that perfect moment when it feels right? I know, maybe a signal from the universe?
Well, take it from someone who was waiting on those very same things, they are not coming.
And that’s a good thing because it means you can start to pursue actively, whatever you desire.
“Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect!” – Aryn Kyle
When I was younger, I would wait for good things to happen to me. I wanted a better future, but at the same time, I was afraid to take action. A lot of time got wasted, frozen in fear.
As I’ve matured, I’ve realised that life is too short and far too precious to waste. That is a wake-up call to each and every one of us to start living our life.
Without a vision, you won’t be able to determine what kind of life you want to live. You need to balance what types of changes you want professionally as well as personally, as the two will ultimately overlap.
If you imagine yourself being more helpful to others, this trait will become part of both. There may be certain aspects of your personal development that you believe are specific to personal life but may eventually carry over to your professional life.
If you have wanted to increase your skills as a community leader, this could easily be incorporated into your professional career. The key is to identify and imagine what this new skill is going to look like.
Invest: Assess Your Current Situation
Many of us have asked ourselves, “What can I do to improve myself and my life?” Many of us have asked this question as part of their personal development and to help them achieve their goals.
Before you make any changes in your life, determine where you stand with your life as it currently exists. Determine strengths and weaknesses to help you formulate a plan to make the necessary changes.
Life Is A Journey
Life is a journey, and sometimes we can get stuck in the same position for a long time or sometimes we may even get lost. We may get frustrated by our lack of progress in our personal or professional lives.
This is when we need to stop and take the time to analyse ourselves and our lives. We need to look at where we are in life, where we want to go, and how we intend to get there. One of the best ways to do this is by writing and using a strategic plan for your life.
Begin by assessing your current situation or where you are in life right now. One of the best tools for doing this is SWOC. It is an acronym for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Challenges. And is a reworking of SWOT that is used in business with Threat being replaced by Challenges.
Invest: Set Goals And Make Them Happen
Once you know what your strengths and weaknesses are, create some goals to strive to complete. These should include high-level goals as well as action steps. Most important, set milestones with firm dates for these action steps.
Goals big and small can be the stepping-stones to a happier life. And the critical point is the way we set them can make all the difference to achieving them.
An essential part of being human is having goals for things we want to do and working towards them. The path towards our goals will not run smoothly, and it will not be easy, but having goals, whether big or small, is part of what makes life outstanding.
Sense Of Meaning
Working towards our goals gives us a sense of meaning and purpose, points us in the direction we want to go and gets us engaged and interested. All of which are great for our happiness.
“Reflect so that you will be able to draw from your experience and invest them wisely in your future.” – David Brett-Williams
Over 2000 years ago, Aristotle said, “Well begun is half done.” And with regards to goals, he’s right, as he has been on a lot of things. Paying attention to how we set our goals makes us more like to achieve them and achieving them makes us feel good about ourselves and our lives.
Invest: Consider Alternatives
There can be valid reasons why specific actions or goals can’t be met. Instead of abandoning the entire personal development plan, come up with alternatives steps.
Look at the challenges in different ways, find a new perspective that you haven’t thought of before. A brain dump or brainstorming alternatives no matter how silly they may appear is an excellent discovery process.
And once you have mapped or listed the alternatives, be open to their possibilities. While a suitable solution may solve the problem, it may not work if the resources aren’t available, if it causes new obstacles, or if people won’t accept it.
The Perfect Solution
When selecting the best alternative don’t consider any alternative as the “perfect solution.” If the perfect solution existed, there probably wouldn’t be a problem in the first place.
You can even consider a compromise when you have a full grasp of the alternatives and the problem. And be careful not just to fall down and stall your progress when considering alternatives.
We do that because it is easier to stay in the alternatives loop than working towards the main goals.
Invest: Evaluate How You Are Doing
It’s in your best interests to take a hard look at your performance. When you reach a milestone, see how you did against the plan of action steps. This is a crucial step, and it’s essential to be realistic and truthful.
At some point, you have to assess what you think is good and bad about your performance against what it will take for you to achieve your goals. Because that is what matters, achieving your goals.
Get in the habit of reflecting on your performance. At a minimum, every week, set goals for yourself. It is better to do it in writing because that helps to clarify your thoughts. Then at the end of the week, view your goals to see how you did.
I prefer to do it daily. Before I settle down in the evening, I think about how the day went and what I accomplished. I ask myself what went well, what didn’t go well, and what I could have done better.
Invest: Keep It Simple
When Kelly Johnson said ‘Keep It Simple Sweetheart’ she sure was right. I find that the less I have on my plate, literally and figuratively, the better I feel.
When you add a series of unobtainable goals to your plan, you are likely setting yourself up for failure. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to push yourself. It just means being realistic about your capabilities.
Complicating things that could actually be simple has become a cultural norm. Ever try to cancel a magazine subscription or changing banks? Automated systems that were designed to simplify, more often than not, don’t.
“It is not death that we should fear, but we should fear not beginning to live.” – Marcus Aurelius
The last time I tried cancelling my double subscription to the same magazine, I was happy with the magazine but wanted to save the trees, their computer kept trying to extend my subscription.
Sometimes it feels that everything we need to do requires us to prove we are human, follow a link, wait endlessly on hold, or remember a million passwords.
No More Complaining
No more complaining, “This is way more complicated than it needs to be.” Time to take action and Keep It Simple.
Keep It Simple Sweetheart (KISS) was coined in the 1970s by Kelly Johnson, the lead engineer and creator of US government spy planes. This was about keeping plane design simple so average mechanics could repair the aircraft. She was definitely onto something.
Let’s give up on being perfect. By seeking perfection, we complicate things. If you move a task on your to-do list from today to next week, without any plan of actually getting it done, you may be suffering from perfection procrastination.
The best way to work through this is to create deadlines on your calendar for the tasks you have been avoiding. The likelihood of getting a task done increases exponentially when you schedule it with a hard stop.
Use these guidelines to help you invest effectively in your personal development. That way you can maximise your true potential. When you do you will benefit from the changes in your work and personal life.
This post includes powerful tips related to overcoming self-defeating behaviours. And it also contains three actionable steps you can take right away and a list of suggested reading for those people who are looking for even more information.
Many of us spend our time beating ourselves up and reverting to self-defeating behaviours, but still, like to think we are a positive person. Wake up. If you are always doing this, then there is a good chance that you are not a positive person.
We know the numerous benefits to being positive and avoiding self-defeating behaviours, and if you are constantly beating yourself up, or engaging in habits that are holding you back, it’s time to turn the tables and stop!
This may not be not pleasant, but they are something that you must deal with. Thankfully, there are many steps you can take to minimise the impact of self-defeating behaviours:
Start with affirmations.
Let’s explain what an affirmation is. They are statements said with confidence about a perceived truth. And if you were to conduct a poll, this would be revealed as a huge factor when changing from negative thinking to positive thinking and stopping self-defeating behaviours.
Affirmations have helped thousands of people make significant changes in their lives. And they work because an affirmation retrains your brain to focus on positive messages.
But they don’t work for everyone. Affirmations work, because the mind doesn’t know the difference between what is real, imagined or remembered.
When you watch a movie and start to cry or laugh, your mind empathises with the characters on the big screen even though it is only cinematic magic.
Don’t expect instant results. This isn’t a habit that will help you overnight, but if you commit to it regularly, it will help boost your positivity. Realise that you have so many years or decades of programming to overcome so stick with it.
If there is one aspect that will turn your self-defeating behaviour around, it’s confidence. Contrary to popular belief, it is something that can be learned.
Low self-confidence can be deeply rooted, with origins in childhood experiences. In later life, self-confidence can be undermined by negative life events such as ill health, losing a job or getting divorced, and a general sense of lack of control.
People with low self-esteem tend to see themselves as a victim and the world as a hostile place. So they are reluctant to assert and express themselves. As a consequence, they miss out on opportunities and experiences and feel powerless to change things.
Confidence is not a trait you are born with, contrary to popular belief. Taking active steps towards developing greater confidence will help.
One popular technique is “fake it until you make it” When I have used this phrase before it has sparked a lot of questions and comments.
To clarify, what I am saying is that when we do not feel confident, pretending to feel confident by engaging in confident behaviours can help you feel more confident. Your mind will follow your body in feeling confident.
Determine when you the self-defeating behaviours started.
In life, there are specific difficulties that we are destined to grapple with. In difficult situations, it is reasonable to find yourself challenged. We even find ourselves in regret and make less-than-stellar decisions.
When we repeat the same maladaptive behaviours continually, we may describe ourselves as being “stuck.” What we are doing is engaging in self-defeating behaviours.
Any behaviour that distracts you from your goals or takes you away from what you want is a self-defeating behaviour. They drain your energy, leave you exhausted and thwart your efforts to create an outstanding life.
If you can figure out the catalyst that caused you to start thinking negatively, you can begin to address the issues with it.
It could stem from experiences in your childhood. When the issues are deep-rooted, you may want to seek professional help to get you through them.
You can start breaking the cycle by determining when the self-defeating behaviours began. You may start by identifying the self-defeating behaviours and recognising patterns that trigger those behaviours.
The one aspect people beat themselves the most over is failure. However, it is something people should learn to love. Failure is about approaching an unknown situation and trying something you haven’t tried before.
Heinz Kohut, the grandfather of psychology of the self, suggested the fear of failure is often intimately connected to a childhood fear of being abandoned, either physically or emotionally.
Overestimate the risk.
We overestimate the risk we’re taking and imagine the worst possible scenario when we fear failure. The childhood emotional equivalent of our parents deserting us.
The mental picture is so dreadful that we convince ourselves we shouldn’t even try to change. So we avoid opportunities for success, and then as a consequence of avoiding these opportunities, when we fail, it unwittingly reconfirms that “Success is not destined for me.”
A negative belief, deeply rooted in our unconscious mind, can override a positive affirmation, even if we aren’t aware of it. And that is the reason why, for some people, affirmations don’t seem to work.
Stop stressing over change.
Warning, a brutal life truth is coming. You have no control over many of the things that happen in your life.
For some reason, people don’t like change. However, it is something that everyone should embrace since it will always occur. Embracing change will help you roll with the punches in life.
Worries affect performance.
Stressing easily develops into worrying. And we can become powerless when worries and fear overtake us. Maybe your stress about change is only a small worry.
Whatever size it is, worries affect our performance. And they will chase us if we let them pile up. Worries are toxics to our body. If you don’t stop them, they can spread and eventually suffocate us.
Let’s look at change as a new opportunity and then face it with confidence.
Learn the stories of successful people.
When you read books or watch videos about the lives of successful people, many of us will find them empowering, helping us live a more inspiring, balanced, happier and successful life.
And you will soon realise that all of them encountered failure before finding success. You’ll learn about their trials and tribulations. The efforts they went through to reach their goal.
Success means different things to different people. Over the years, I have noticed that many have a resistance to the word success. Which is odd as deep down inside, that is precisely what we want.
Resistance to success.
From my observations of the world and from reading the stories of many great men and women, I noticed that many of the highly successful people are in a way or another living by a set of “golden rules.”
When you discover these “golden rules” for yourself, you will be encouraged to stop beating yourself up about situations that happened in the past and move forward with your goals. No more excessive ruminating over past mistakes.
Own your self-defeating behaviours.
Don’t hide your head in the sand. If you know you have self-defeating behaviours, then acknowledge them. Start by making a list of your behaviours you feel are harming you.
When we feel under-resourced and overwhelmed with the problems we face, we lapse back into negative behaviours that feel comfortable. The problem is that while it is comforting, it prevents us from focusing on solutions with a stable and clear mind.
Shine the light of awareness on your self-defeating behaviour s. Pay close attention to acknowledge and recognize the defeating attitudes, negative self-narratives, or repetitive behavioural patterns.
Challenge your negative self-talk.
Take the opportunity to challenge your negative self-talk. Refuse to become it or identify with it. Your thoughts are not facts. The same is true for behaviours and attitudes. All of them can always be changed.
You are not limited or defined by your behaviours. You have the power to choose and change your actions at any time.
The next time you feel yourself getting bogged down by your negative thought-narratives or self-defeating habits, remember: you don’t have to be your thoughts, attitudes or habits. You are not your behaviour.
Ask for opinions.
Ask your closest confidants what they think your self-defeating behaviours are. Sometimes they will be more honest with you than you are with yourself.
We are naturally curious and desire to have our questions answered. But asking for feedback on ourselves overwhelms most of us with anxiety. It’s not an easy or natural task, asking for someone’s opinion or evaluation of you.
But it’s an essential part of your development. There is no promise that it will be painless, but with the proper preparation and guided questions, asking for opinions can be a smooth process.
An open mind.
You need to keep an open mind and accept the feedback graciously. You don’t have to agree with them, but asking for an opinion and then reacting poorly could harm that relationship.
Ensure the feedback you’re seeking out is well rounded. So you will need to approach all sorts of people. It might hurt to hear what they have to say but keep an open mind. And remember to say, “Thanks,” regardless of their opinion.
Build a support network.
Once you have decided what self-defeating behaviours you need to focus on, reach out to people close to you for help. Developing a support network is a crucial element in eliminating self-defeating behaviours.
A support network refers to the people in your life that help you achieve your personal and professional goals. There are many ways to develop a support network.
An excellent first step is to recognise the supports that are already present in your life. That means friends, family members, teachers, colleagues, and maybe even your boss or line manager.
Create a list of the people you know and the strengths and contacts they have to offer you. Create a list of people you would like to meet. Attend events that put you in touch with people who can support your personal, educational, or career development.
Having a robust support system can mean the difference between success or failure.
Brainstorm a list of all of your potential self-defeating behaviours. Spend 5 minutes now and list everyone you can think of. After that, take a break and then spend another five minutes trying to think of more.
Reach out to your friends and ask them what they think your self-defeating behaviours are. If they mention any that aren’t on your current list them add those. You can also run through your list to see if your friends agree with the behaviours you have come up with.
Choose 1-2 behaviours to focus on. Create a plan of attack on how to deal with them. List the steps you will take to tackle each one, and then focus on one thing you can do TODAY to get started.
It seems ridiculous that we continue in unwanted repetitive cycles of self-defeating behaviours. Quite often, these are coping strategies and learned behaviours that have become our default way to deal with stressful situations.
Somewhere along the way, we learned that doing these behaviours helped to relieve our stress. Our goal now is to break unwanted cycles by replacing those maladaptive behaviours with positive coping strategies and tools.
Mentor and renowned professional speaker “David Brett-Williams” is a beacon to help inspire you towards success. He travels the world training some of the top CEO’s and executives on how to become an effective leader.
David Brett-Williams’ quotes and lessons are floating all over social media channels and motivational videos.
Here are 6 Motivational Quotes to inspire you to be more successful.
Inspire 1. “When you smile at yourself every morning in the mirror, you’ll start to see a big difference in your life.”
The Mona Lisa is one of the most famous paintings of all time. I believe that is due to her unique smile. A smile has the highest positive emotional content of any symbol.
I love the power of smiles so much I have researched about the power of smiling. I used to feel awkward about my smile, so I practised smiling in the mirror until it felt more natural.
When experience a positive emotion we smile. A neural signal travels from the cortex of your brain to the brainstem. That is the oldest part of our brains in terms of evolution. After that, the cranial muscle carries the signal to the muscles responsible for smiling in your face.
Sounds simple enough. But, that’s only where it starts. Once we smile, there is a positive feedback loop that now goes back to the brain and reinforces our positive feelings.
A Smile Or Chocolate
Smiling stimulates our brain’s reward mechanisms in a way that even chocolate, a well-regarded pleasure-inducer, cannot match.
Smiling stimulates our brain’s reward mechanisms in a way that even chocolate, a well-regarded pleasure-inducer, cannot match.
That’s why in recent research scientists concluded: “that smiling can be as stimulating as receiving up to £16,000 in cash.”
Inspire 2. “Confidence comes from discipline and training.”
A French man, named Philippe Petit walked on a wire across the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center in New York City back in 1974. While most people would have gotten ill just looking down from that great height, he was able to walk on the wire with grace and confidence.
You could argue that to some degree this was down to his dare-devil nature. After all, he was a bullfighter, rock climber, and loved slacklining. All of which are mighty dangerous pursuits.
But Petit was confident in his walk across the wire because of his discipline. By pursuing his passion for wire walking with vigour from a young age, he was able to understand both the process and his own capabilities better.
When people saw Petit confidently walking across the wire at the Twin Towers on that day, what they were seeing was a lifetime of practice manifesting in a single moment.
We all face doubts and negative thoughts.
Our personal challenge is to face these problems head-on rather than listen to the doubt and allow it to talk us out of pursuing our dreams.
Let’s keep a few things to keep in mind when turning discipline into confidence.
A. Negative self-talk isn’t all bad.
Just because you engage in negative self-talk doesn’t mean it is a bad thing. You can use this kind of self-talk to get an advantage.
The self-doubt is what makes you question whether you have done something correctly. It is what keeps you awake at night. While doubt and anxiety can be harmful, you can utilise it to take action.
If you use self-doubt to create discipline, it will set you up for success. For example, you may get up earlier in the morning to do your best work, or you eat better to ensure your brain is always sharp.
B. Trust discipline, not motivation.
We love motivation because it feels good. But we have to face that it isn’t useful for the purpose of solving our most important problems.
Whether it is a professional or personal challenge, discipline is going to be your saviour, not motivation. So trust discipline.
Motivation is often a fleeting feeling, while discipline is far more reliable.
C. Prepare for failure.
When you utilise discipline to prepare yourself as thoroughly as possible, then you will have complete confidence with humility in your task. This is a dynamite combination as you will be humble enough to take a closer look at where you could make mistakes.
And you come to the realisation that you are not infallible. However, you will have prepared so thoroughly that it will be inconceivable for you to encounter a problem you haven’t already thought of.
With discipline, when you prepare for failure, you gain a whole new sense of confidence in both yourself and whatever it is you are working on.
Inspire 3. “Enjoy life more, smile more, laugh more, and don’t get wound up about things.”
There is a growing body of research that indicates the benefits of laughter go far beyond the important factor of fun. Laughter may be a blood-pressure reducer, a stress buster, an immune-system booster, and a friend maker.
Being serious adults with responsibilities. Things like with jobs, or not, bills and meetings, and more bills it’s sometimes hard to remember to loosen up with a gutful of laughter.
Life is just too tragic and damn chaotic to absorb without the pleasure of an occasional giggle.
The whole “laughter is the best medicine” theory is correct.
It is impossible to experience the crippling burden of negative emotions while laughing. That fit of the giggles gives the body and mind a much needed moment to reset and forces us into the moment.
On top of that, it is energising, uplifting, and oddly calming at the same time. So get to laughing.
Inspire 4. “Most people are happy being average. Most are happy being faceless in a sea of faces.”
As they enter school, most children rate at a genius level for creativity. And by the time they reach their teens we have nourished their creativity to such an extent that less than 10% rate at genius level.
Surely that loss of creativity must be linked to growing up. It is, but not from maturing physically, but socially. At the age of 4, our drawings of flying cars are met with praise and encouragement.
By the age of 8, we are told that cars can’t fly and to get our heads out of the clouds. To stop daydreaming and get to work. We are taught to conform.
We become anonymous. And to break from the norm, to be different fills us with anxiety. So we remain faceless in a sea of conformity.
Successful people fail.
The world is not shaped by conformity. The world is shaped by people who refuse to accept the status quo and strive to make things better.
Were you put on this planet to be average? Or are you here to be outstanding? Be less afraid of standing out and more afraid of fitting in. Refuse to be average when you have so much more to offer. Refuse to be happy settling for the norm and being anonymous.
Inspire 5. “When you think little goals, you expect little achievements. Think bigger goals and win bigger achievements.”
Thinking occupies an immense role in our lives. We are a product of what we think. Every action, every process starts or emerges from thinking.
Thinking is the ignition that starts us. It is the fuel that puts us on a path. Thinking is the ability that makes us choose a path. On which path we place ourselves. In which direction, we move our life.
It all comes down to our thinking.
You will hear a lot about, and read a lot about thinking big. You might hear that thinking big has a gravitational pull. And that is true.
I would say that thinking big attracts opportunities, it attracts new horizons, it makes lives, it attracts joy, prosperity, happiness. It attracts success.
David Schwartz said, “There is magic in thinking big.” Thinking big has played a significant role in the lives of every successful person.
The Magic Of Thinking Big
The magic of thinking big can create miracles in our lives. We are products of our thoughts. We behave and act in accordance with what we think.
To put it just, if we think positively, then we will act positively. If we think big, then our minds expand and we will search for ways to find greatness.
Conversely, if we think negatively, then we will act negatively, whether consciously or unconsciously. We will be unable to find ways to greatness. And will only see obstacles in our way.
We will just focus on what we not have and what we cannot achieve. As Paul Coelho said, “If you think small, your world will be small. If you think big, your world will be big.”
It is dependent on your thoughts. Who you are now is the sum of all of your thoughts. And who you will become in the future is dependent on your thinking.
You can become anyone you want to. Do virtually anything. You can achieve anything. But in your journey towards greatness, there is an obstacle.
Curious what the obstacle is? Is it your circumstances? Your origin? Your country? Or your face, colour, height, education? Your financial situation?
None of these is the obstacle. The only constraint is YOU. The only obstacle is your THOUGHTS.
Because your thinking is the origin of your ideas, the birthplace of your achievements .
If you want to become outstanding, you have to think big.
Everything begins with the thoughts we think. We cannot rise above the thoughts that we think.
If you think small, you go small. You are just one thought away from your greatness . You are only one thought away from your ideal life.
Quoting David Schwartz, “Think Big, and you’ll live big. You’ll live big in happiness. You’ll live big in accomplishment. Big in income. Big in friends. And big in respect.”
So we need to program ourselves to think success, and not failure. Thinking success conditions your mind to create plans that produce success.
Inspire 6. “I never perceive failure as failure, only as the game I must play and win.”
When I was growing up, I was told, “A game should be played to win.” So even if you lose 1000 times when you play for the 1001 time, play to win.
At the age of 21, a guy was defeated in a legislative race. He business failed at the age of 24. At 27, he had a nervous breakdown. He lost a congressional race at age 34. Then went on to lose a senatorial race at 45. He then failed to become vice-president at age 47 and was elected president of the United States at age 52.
A young cartoonist faces numerous rejections from newspaper editors, who said he lacked talent. But then, one day a minister at a church hired him to draw some cartoons.
He worked out of a small mouse infested shed near the church. After seeing a little mouse, he was inspired and that lead to the character Steamboat Willie.
After being fired from a newspaper agency because he ‘lacked imagination,’ he went on to become an icon in the field of entertainment.
That man was Walt Disney. He was labelled a failure many times. But was he a failure? No, he had optimistically taken the path of failure.
She was living on welfare, divorced, depressed, and a single mother while studying and attempting to write her first novel.
That woman is J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter books. I won’t tell you how many times editors rejected her novel. She could be labelled a failure. But was she a failure? No, she had optimistically taken the path of failure.
The path to success is lined with failure. The more we fail, the greater our likelihood of success.
Successful people fail. And yes, please read that again, it is not a typo.
Successful people fail.
Failure is an option, failure is always an option.
Failure is frequently, but mistakenly, viewed as an ending. However, that doesn’t have to be the case.
For those with resilience, failure is just the beginning. If you find yourself faced with failure, it’s time to shift gears, rediscover what will inspire you and find a solution to the problem.
Maybe you need to start from scratch again. If so, that’s perfectly acceptable. One of my first business’ failed, but I rediscovered what would inspire me and here I am, still standing and then some.
But why? I diligently examined the problems with my first business and ensured that what I learned from that experience influenced my future decisions.
This report includes powerful tips related to finding your purpose. It also contains three actionable steps you can take right away and a list of suggested reading for those people who are looking for even more information.
Do you know what your life purpose is? Most people don’t.
Going through the motions.
Sometimes, people pretend they know what they are supposed to do in life. But, they are merely going through the motions.
“The climb might be tough and challenging,but the view is worth it. There is a purpose for that pain; you just can’t always see it right away.” – Victoria Arlen
Life is too short to let this happen. Find something that you are passionate about, something that makes you look forward to getting up in the morning.
Ask yourself why?
If you don’t look forward to getting up for work, ask yourself why.
It’s true that most people need a job to survive. You may have gone to college to study what you believed was your life purpose.
But, now that you have been working in the field for many years, it’s lost its edge.
What do you daydream about at work?
Focus on your recurring daydreams. When you do, this is a great starting point for you to explore what you want to do with your life.
“Those who improve embrace the power of personal achievement and personal growth and replace a lack of purpose with self-actualisation.” – David Brett-Williams
The next time you catch yourself daydreaming about doing something different with your life, write down what it was about.
Seek out forums online that are associated with topics you are interested in.
This will show you what others are doing or what kinds of questions they are asking. If you resonate towards one or two forums, this will show you where you should focus your concentration.
Connect with residents.
Most cities and towns are using Facebook to connect with their residents.
Join the groups and pages that are dedicated to these municipalities. Then, find out where the community needs help and volunteer your time.
“Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values.” – Ayn Rand
You’ll meet people, and you may find that helping others is part of your purpose. You can also join church groups in your area.
Keep on the topic.
When you have an idea about what might be your life purpose, pick up several books on the topic.
Pay attention not only to what the books are telling you, but also your interest in reading them.
If you pick up some books from the library and they sit on your table, this may be an indication that it’s not the right topic for you to pursue.
Offer to volunteer some of your time at work to set up initiatives that help people in the community of the business.
Your company may already have a program, and you can choose to either join it or form a new initiative if they allow for it. Companies need people who can show leadership abilities with these initiatives.
“Everyone has a purpose in life and a unique talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals.” – Kallam Anji Reddy
This leadership ability could help you advance in the company if that is where you want to go.
Start reading a few blogs that relate to the topics you are thinking of pursuing. Like reading books, pay attention to which blogs you spend the most time with. This can give you a clue to your life purpose.
1. Join one forum per month.
To determine which forums to join, start with your hobbies. If those hobbies are idle for you, that’s okay. Join the forums anyway. Forums will help you renew your interest.
2. Create a journal to jot down ideas whenever they pop into your head.
You can do this on a smartphone which many people find easier to manage. Just make sure it’s easy to access as spending too much time searching for the app may make you lose the thought process.
3. Join Meetup.com groups that cater to your interest.
There is nothing better than meeting face-to-face with people who share the same interests as you. It’s a great way to learn about those interests, and you gain contacts that may help you advance your participation.
“I truly believe that everything that we do and everyone that we meet is put in our path for a purpose. There are no accidents; we’re all teachers – if we’re willing to pay attention to the lessons we learn, trust our positive instincts and not be afraid to take risks or wait for some miracle to come knocking at our door.” – Marla Gibbs
If nothing else, you get some social time in and a chance to meet new friends.
Want to change your brain for the better? Want to be a better version of you? Then here are three ways that will do just that.
First of let’s try gratitude. Yes, it is time to get into the ‘Gratitude Groove’.
A. The Gratitude Groove
The art of practising gratitude is just that – an art. It’s not always easy to feel thankful, especially when things aren’t going your way. But oddly enough, an attitude of gratitude might be what the doctor ordered.
Not only does being thankful lead to a higher rate of contentment in your everyday life, but it assures better sleep and even brings down levels of depression through the production of dopamine in the brain.
“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” – Barack Obama
But the change of rewiring brain neurons sometimes takes some effort, especially if you’re already having a bad day. How can you get into the gratitude groove when you’re not feeling it?
A1. Change by appreciating the little things.
When life is particularly overwhelming, sometimes the only gratitude that we can genuinely feel is for the small things. And that’s just fine.
Taking time to be thankful for that cup of coffee, or that you got that excellent parking space might not seem like much but acknowledging them will do wonders for your mood.
Spending your day looking for small things to appreciate has the interesting effect of making you notice the bigger picture items you can be grateful for as well.
A2. Stop worrying about what other people have.
If you feel like you can’t be grateful because someone else has it better, then your focus is in the wrong place. Who cares what your neighbour has? Be grateful for what you have.
A3. Keep a gratitude journal.
If you’re having trouble finding things to be grateful for, then make a practice of writing down the things for which you’re thankful. Why? First, by writing things down, you find them easier to remember.
“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.” – Harriet Tubman
But second, you’re creating a record that you can look at to remind yourself that you do have many good things in your life.
Whether giving your time or resources, nothing makes for gratitude like helping someone else and seeing their appreciation.
You might even find new things to be grateful about as well – like your ability to help, or perhaps you have a talent or skill you’re able to share. That makes this a win-win all the way around.
A5. Make gratitude habitual.
Try setting a time to be grateful. Before bed, you can list great things that happened today. Or maybe you’d prefer to start your day in gratitude.
Whatever the case, getting into the mindset of daily gratitude will help you to keep on the lookout for things for which you should be grateful.
“You are the only thing holding you back from happiness. You have the ability to change your life radically for better or worse.” – Tara Stiles
Making the change to the gratitude groove is a lot easier to get into than you think.
You start just by being thankful for the things you have in your life, and the rest grows from there.
B. Develop the Growth Mindset Habit
When deciding what change to make and what new habit to pursue, it’s easy to look at all the things we shouldn’t do as a place to begin. We want to stop smoking or stress eating.
We want to learn how to say ‘no’ or to quit spending so much time on social media.
Have you ever considered the flipside of all that by building a positive habit? What if the habit you formed was one of growth and personal development?
Having a growth mindset positively impacts your life in multiple ways, so it’s a great healthy habit to build into your life. What are the benefits of developing a growth mindset?
B1. You keep learning.
Learning is crucial as you not only discover new ways to do things, but by making a practice of continually learning, you develop new ways of thinking, and new ideas.
“To make a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands.” – David Brett-Williams
Learning connects you with more of the world and helps you see things with a more profound significance than you ever thought possible. But more than that, people who stop learning very quickly stagnate.
Studies have shown that the practice of learning new things when you are older helps ward off problems related to dementia. In short, learning is good for your brain!
B2. You learn perseverance.
As we learn new things, we adapt and change how we think. That gives us the ability to see other solutions to problems that would have frustrated us in the past.
Growth can be challenging. But by pushing yourself to grow, that means you’re also pushing yourself to look at challenges differently.
An obstacle now becomes an opportunity to learn something new and to do things in a way you haven’t before.
B4. You learn how to embrace failure.
When you’re interested in growing as an individual, you start to see failure differently. Everything becomes a potential lesson in a way that you didn’t think would work.
B5. You become more open to criticism.
By being willing to grow, you start to see that the input of other people has significance.
“The world will change for the better when people decide they are sick and tired of being sick and tired of the way the world is, and decide to change themselves.” – Sydney Madwed
You see their words not so much as something negative, but something you can use to develop as a person and learn something about yourself. You might not always like the lesson, but that’s part of growing too.
By embracing personal growth, you find the best version of yourself. You’re able to become more than you ever thought possible, and then you turn that around by finding out that you can become more still.
You’ll find that the furthest edges of yourself are far beyond what you thought you ever could be.
C. Make Meditation a Life-Long Habit
Feeling stressed? Meditation might have the answers that you need.
Meditation has been practised for centuries by people from all walks of life. And not just to relax, but to promote happiness, mindfulness, and to improve memory and self-control.
But more than that, meditation has been found to have numerous health benefits, such as lowering blood pressure and heart rate and has even been thought to improve metabolism.
“Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay.” – Simone de Beauvoir
With so many benefits, it seems meditation should be an easy answer to life’s problems. Why then do people avoid it?
Mostly because they feel like it’s too much of a commitment. Or because they doubt that they can keep it up long enough to have any benefit.
What most people don’t realise that is that meditating only 2 minutes a day is enough to not only see a positive benefit in your life but can be used to jump-start a lifelong habit that will drastically improve your quality of life. How?
C1. Start with the commitment.
You’re only meditating two minutes. Anyone can meditate for two minutes, so why not try?
C2. Decide when you want to meditate.
Don’t pick a specific time of day because that only sets you up for disaster. Instead choose a trigger time, like right after breakfast or before bed.
C3. Find your quiet place.
That is a space that makes you feel calm, where you’re not likely to be interrupted or distracted by a lot of noise. The nice thing?
“Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” – Carol Burnett
You can meditate anywhere so if you feel most at peace at the park, then go for it!
C4. Change by sitting comfortably.
The last thing you want is screaming muscles telling you to stop because you have a charley-horse. You’re going to want to sit up nice and straight so keep that in mind as you choose your position.
C5. Remind yourself it’s only for 2 minutes.
You’re not running a marathon here. Just relax and accept that this time is yours.
C6. Breathe in.
Follow your breath and try to be aware of where it goes from nostrils into the throat and down into your chest. Remember to keep your back straight. Hold the breath there.
C7. Breathe out.
Release the breath nice and slow. Count to 10 if it helps. Follow it back out of your body and release with it all the tension and worries that have been plaguing you. That is part of the focus.
“Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.” – Arnold Bennett
Repeat steps 6 and 7 for two minutes. If you find that your mind doesn’t want to sit still, accept that, but bring your focus back to your breathing as soon as you can. Let your thoughts drift. Focus on your breath.
Meditation doesn’t have to be difficult, nor does it take a long-time commitment. Doing it for only two minutes a day will help you to build the habit.
As time passes, you’ll want to increase your meditation time. Be patient with yourself and go gently. Your body and your mind will thank you.
So there we have three habits, Gratitude, Growth Mindset and Meditation that will change your brain for the better and help create a better version of you. Time to get to work, make the change and live an outstanding life.
This report includes powerful tips related to projecting confidence. It also contains three actionable steps you can take right away and a list of suggested reading for those people who are looking for even more information.
When you can project confidence, you’ll find that you get more of what you want out of life. That’s because others love a confident person.
“Doubt can motivate you, so don’t be afraid of it. Confidence and doubt are at two ends of the scale, and you need both. They balance each other out.” – Barbra Streisand
It has been shown that people are more willing to follow someone who is confident rather than someone who has low self-esteem.
Believe in yourself.
You cannot project confidence if you don’t have a belief in yourself or what you are doing. For instance, if you want to start a business, you need to believe that your business is feasible.
When you project confidence, you will find followers to your cause. They will be attracted to your strength and will feel comfortable that you know what you are doing.
“With confidence and a strong work ethic, most dreams can come true.” – David Brett-Williams
It is much easier to act confident when you are surrounded by the belief of others.
Create an environment for others to succeed.
Confident people don’t fear competition. If you are in a position of power, you can project confidence by promoting a successful environment for all.
People will see that you aren’t afraid of being upstaged. There are few things more confident than someone who isn’t afraid of other’s success.
If you overreact to every situation that comes your way, people are going to lose confidence in your abilities to lead. They will view this as a weakness and will suspect you lack confidence.
“Confidence is key. Sometimes, you need to look like you’re confident even when you’re not.” – Vanessa Hudgens
Once that happens, it’s hard to turn that image of you around in their minds. Try to keep calm even during tense situations.
Use the right body language.
It might not be fair, but we are often judged by our appearance. One of the best ways to project confidence is to make an excellent first impression with the proper body language.
Stand tall, make eye contact and shake hands firmly and confidently.
Dress for success.
This goes hand in hand with the last tip. If you want to feel more confident, then dress the part.
“Beauty is grace and confidence. I’ve learned to accept and appreciate what nature gave me.” – Lindsay Lohan
Take some time in the morning to make sure your outfit and personal hygiene is really on point. The time spent doing this will easily pay off down the road when you feel and act more confident.
Know your capabilities.
If you are well aware of your strengths and capabilities, then you will naturally be more confident.
Having a good grasp of what you are good at, what you enjoy, and what you know will allow you to project more confidence.
1. Be more positive.
Having confidence requires being positive. Otherwise, you won’t believe in yourself and others won’t either.
Use daily affirmations to shift your mindset to positivity from negativity. You’ll find plenty of resources online that can give you the affirmations you need.
You are also welcome to create your own. Make sure you say them out loud every day.
2. Analyse your past failures and learn why they happened.
Also, determine what you did that you would do differently the next time something similar were to happen. Start recording your failures and continue to analyse them in the future.
“Confidence is a crucial building block in a successful career, and embracing it fully will take you places you never thought possible. With proper guidance and hard work, anyone can become more confident. Once you pass a certain point, you’ll feel it from the inside.” – Travis Bradberry
Be sure to accept that failure is a learning process rather than something to be ashamed of.
3. Ask three people you know what they think are your strengths and weaknesses.
This will prove that you are better at things than you believe. It can also help you improve on the areas that are considered weaknesses.
Once you improve on some of these key weaknesses, you will be naturally more confident.
You need to realise that having problems setting boundaries is normal.
Imagine, you’ve gotten roped into staying late at work. Again. Or you’ve committed to something that you didn’t want to but felt you had to.
Now you’re beating yourself up because you know you should have better boundaries, but you don’t seem to understand how to form them. What do you do?
You need to set boundaries.
You’ve probably heard the phrase before, but maybe you’re unsure what it means. Just what ARE personal boundaries, and what difference do they make in your life?
To understand it, you have to understand what a boundary is. Let’s start at the dictionary and go from there:
bound·a·ry (noun) a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.
“Don’t be afraid to push the boundaries and go after your dreams. Never set limits!” – David Brett-Williams
Most dividing lines are pretty easy to see. The world is full of fences and dividers, clearly marking off space. A personal boundary does the same thing, only on a more undetectable and internal level. Let’s look at this on a little closer.
What are boundaries?
1. It tells you what your responsibility is in a given situation.
You already have some boundaries at work or school. These are the parameters of your job or your responsibility as a student and usually, are marked out pretty clearly when you took the job or where enrolled.
On a personal level, a boundary tells you who you’re responsible for (yourself of course, but you might also be a caregiver). But what about your other responsibilities such as paying your bills, or taking care of your pets?
2. It keeps you safe.
Many of these should go without saying – such as abstaining from drinking and driving. But sometimes you have to set some such boundaries for yourself.
“The biggest competition is myself. I am not looking to follow others or pull them down. I’m planning to test my own boundaries.” – Rain
Such as whether or not it’s healthy to be in a relationship with a particular individual.
3. They tell us who we are.
Are you a good person? A bad person? A selfish person? A pious one? Our moral code becomes the boundary that defines us.
4. It clarifies your needs.
What things need to be in place in your life for you to be happiest and healthiest? What protects you for overwork or abuse?
5. They define your relationships.
What are the parameters of your relationship? Is that healthy? What is your responsibility to that other person? How are they responsible for you?
With all that, it makes sense that having strong boundaries is a good idea. Especially when you take into consideration these facts:
…give you a better idea of who you are
…help others to understand your needs
…give guidelines in your relationships
…make for healthy interactions with other people
And perhaps most important of all, they are an integral part of self-care.
As a side note remember this: Boundaries need to be revisited occasionally and re-evaluated.
“My motto in life is ‘Take risks;’ you don’t have a voice if you don’t. You have to venture outside your boundaries. That’s what life’s all about.” – Kelly Wearstler
As we grow and change, our boundaries will change as well.
With all this at stake, it’s no wonder we give boundaries such a lot of attention. Boundaries can mean the difference between a happy and healthy life and a life of drudgery and resentment.
Is it time to learn where to draw the line? So let’s examine why we don’t like setting boundaries.
The number one reason we don’t do anything is generally fear. When you don’t know what the outcome is going to be when you first set that boundary, it’s bound to be terrifying.
2. It would be selfish.
After all, why should your needs come before anyone else’s?
3. Taking care of yourself is unusual.
This point is an extension of the last one. Not only is self-care selfish, but it would take time and resources from caring for others. Forgetting of course, that we can’t take care of anyone if we don’t take care of ourselves first.
4. Someone’s going to get mad at you.
Which of course will lead to conflict and maybe even a confrontation. You might find yourself thinking that setting a boundary in these situations is just not worth it.
5. Doing it the other way is a habit.
It might be that you’re used to being asked to stay late at work – every day. Now it’s a habit to stay. The problem is, habits are hard to break, which means setting that boundary doesn’t just involve putting your foot down but changing an entire way of thinking.
6. There’s a price to pay for saying ‘no.’
If other people trample over your needs to get their own needs met, then when you do say no, you know there’s going to be a negative repercussion. And who needs that kind of commotion in your life?
7. It’s not all that important anyway. Is it?
That has more to do with self-esteem than anything. And yes, your boundaries are just that important.
“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” – Brene Brown
So how do you go about setting boundaries when that’s unusual for you?
Start by asking for what you want – and be specific.
Be open to compromise.
Have an exit strategy if they say ‘no.’ What will you accept?
Be ready emotionally for a negative response. Not everything will be a ‘yes.’
Don’t take rejection personally.
Boundaries don’t have to be terrifying. Understanding why you don’t set them is the first step toward establishing positive change.
When you use what you know to set solid boundaries for yourself, you will discover peace and happiness that you never knew was even possible.