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Relationships can survive arguments, but not threats to the relationship!

Did you know that our brains are wired for ‘war’?

It is a primitive defensive mechanism that lays within all of us and when threatened, we engage our ‘war’ footing and go on the attack.

In general we can keep this mode under control, but when are we emotionally engaged, such as in the midst of an argument with our partner, our primitive brain can easily kick in, escalating the argument.

You will know when this happens to you, often you can find after having a major disagreement with your partner that as you calm it can be difficult at times to remember what you were actually arguing over.

What you are certain of is how hurt or angry you are feeling.

Obviously we would love to not have any arguments within our relationship and to live in a loving state of harmony with our partner. Able to discuss any issue in a supportive fashion and never escalating into conflict.

Whilst this a wonderful ideal, the reality is that in a relationship no matter how loving, arguments are inevitable and the question is not whether you have disagreements as a couple, but how adept you are in the art of ‘fighting’.

You see, it is not the fight or disagreement that necessarily is the problem, but how we fight that can cause a significant issue and place great strain our relationships.

Our discussion may have begun in regards to how we raise the kids, spend money, or the time one partner spends away from home which quickly escalates as the primitive brain takes over as we begin hurling personal insults.

Perhaps we use terms we know will hurt, like selfish or arrogant with our conversation descending into even more colourful terms.

As the argument escalates then the threats begin, with one shouting that they are going to end the relationship and it is now, in the midst of this argument that the real trouble begins.

The sort of trouble that can lead to a relationship ending well before it’s time.

So if you are angry or annoyed with your partner and want to resolve disagreements, without it potentially leading to the relationship becoming strained and potentially ending, you need to learn to ‘fight right’.

So how do you ‘fight right’?

The first step is to not enter into a disagreement with a view to ‘winning,’ as when an argument escalates there are no winners. If one of you need to “win” you both lose. 

If you need to discuss an issue that is a concern for you, then go into the discussion with a view to seek a compromise. To find a ‘win-win’ for the both of you.

Never dismiss what your partner raises in response, acknowledge that you have heard them and understand what they are saying.

Try as best you can to keep things friendly using a light touch, maintaining eye contact so you can see whether your partner is getting upset is critical, watch your tones and language, avoid personal attacks and be prepared to back off and revisit later when cooler heads can prevail.

Her are some ideas that will help you both raise and deal with issues in your relationship without things escalating into a relationship threatening argument.

Diffuse when you can

This does not mean avoiding conflict as this does not work, but there is nothing wrong with nipping the unnecessary arguments in the bud. The one’s where we are being needlessly prickly. Often the best way to avoid ‘war’ is to quickly wave the flag of friendliness, which can be done with a warm smile, well-placed touch or a reassuring voice.

Do not sweep things under the rug

Don’t shy away from discussing difficult topics. When a topic remains unaddressed they can become bigger issues than they would otherwise have been, had they been addressed in the first place. So do not be afraid to discuss issues that you need clarity on with your partner. Avoiding topics can feel threatening to our partner because they then don’t know what’s going on for you.

Try to not say things you will regret

When our emotions are getting the better of us, saying hurtful things is part of our natural ‘fight-or-flight’ mode. Yet this is where you need to get control back, by shutting yourself down. It is not easy to do in the heat of the moment, however if you love your partner and want the relationship to continue then you need to get back control by saying, “I’m sorry, I’m making this worse.” By pausing and stopping what you are saying, you are moving away from a potentially relationship ending mine field.

Always discuss difficult topics in person

It can very tempting when we are upset or annoyed about something to send a short sharp message via text. When we do that we are unable to read each other’s tone. Small issues can escalate so quickly when we are digital, so if you do have an issue to raise, do so ‘face to face,’ as nothing of concern to a relationship has ever been resolved via text.

If you are able to enter discussions with your partner with the aim of fighting right, who knows, that may even lead to you getting your way, or at least finding a compromise that you can both live with.

Should you find that no matter what you try that your arguments always seem to escalate, then seek out the support of a qualified counsellor, someone you are both comfortable with, who can then help you both find the way to ‘fight right.’

The post Do you ‘fight right’ in your relationship? appeared first on Datelicious.

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Welcome to Week 38 of The 52 Week Love Project – Acts of Kindness. The project designed to recognize 52 inspiring humans who are giving back to our community – whether in a small way or by creating a movement for change and inspiration.

Introducing – Andrea: The creator of Peninsula Writers’ Club-  a community writing group offering support, company, connection, guidance and focus in the coastal region of the Mornington Peninsula, Victoria. This is Andrea’s insights on self Doubt:

‘Everyone doubts themselves, it’s just how you move through it, apply new learnings and inspire yourself to be better that matters.’

WHERE DID IT ALL BEGIN?

It all started with two writers connecting over Instagram in a regional town on the Mornington Peninsula, Vic in 2015.

I’m a copywriter and children’s author and Nikki Fisher is a food writer. We both love writing, associating with other writers and the collective inspiration, as well as learning new skills.  

What we didn’t love was the commute to the city to attend workshops and hear from experienced authors.

As busy mums with our own businesses, we were having a hard time fitting our creative dreams in their too, especially when you added an extra commute or costs.

So, we met for a cuppa and became the accidental Founders of the Peninsula Writers’ Club with the vision to bring the writing world to us.

We set up a dinner-party style event with a ‘patron’ restaurant, sent the word out and a few mates turned up, bringing their mates. We worked hard to attract experiences authors down to share their journeys and from there the adventure took flight.

4 years later we’ve hosted over 55 guest speaker events, writing meet-ups, workshops and community collaboration writing initiatives for our regional area.

I’m now flying solo as the Founder as Nikki is focussing on other pursuits, but I don’t feel lonely in the role. I am surrounded by such an invigorating community of writers who 4 years ago I didn’t even know existed. It is a pleasure to seek out local opportunities and collaborations. I know the Peninsula Writers’ Club far surpasses our original vision and it has ripple effects in our creative community.

It’s like we were all waiting for each other to step behind our keyboard screens and connect.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

We are a community writing group offering support, company, connection, guidance and focus in the coastal region of the Mornington Peninsula, Victoria.

From the get-go, we have been clear in our direction and professional in how we deliver opportunities. We wanted to create something that appealed to all writers no matter where we all are in our journey.  And we wanted to make it accessible, local and welcoming.

Amateur, aspiring and professional writers all share elbow room at the writing table when we gather to listen to guest speaking authors or write our own work during our meet-ups.

 Purely run on volunteer energy, we share our events on a website and social media.

We’ve also had a successful series of grants through Mornington Peninsula Shire and Writers Victoria that helped us build our website and host regional writing workshops. It took a while for this to happen but the results have paid off with local aspiring and established writers tracking us down more easily, and the wider community sharing our events as well.

We are now sought out as a group to be involved with local collaborations and spoken word opportunities.

Our forum is all about supporting while creating.

Copywriters, romance writers, children’s and YA writers, poets, journalists, aspiring writers, history and memoir writers, diary scribblers, dystopian, crime and horror writers, how-to guide book writers and those who didn’t know what they wanted to write but liked holding a pen have all turned up at our events.

We have members in their late 70’s who have been looking for this all their lives, new parents trying to squeeze in writing time, professional journalists and content writers looking for passion project space and a great number of blokes who struggled to find writing company.  I also love that we rub shoulders with writers with higher profiles who are just as respectful of all of our journeys.

Our membership is free at present, participants pay their own costs along the way for food, drink and books or workshops, and the results are priceless.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU?

The sheer creativity and brilliance of writer’s inspires me. Their ability to tell stories, to makes sense of the world, to be a portal for escapism, and the bravery in exposing yourself and your talent on a page for others to read.

Writing can be a really lonely pursuit, and I am constantly speaking with other writers who feel a sense of isolation . So, I guess I was all about connecting us solitary writing souls, as well as making the opportunities for writers in my region accessible and achievable.

I also often read successful writers and authors thanking their own writer’s groups for their support. I know it’s an important part of the journey in believing in yourself and your skills. Our own patron, Wendy Orr, herself a successful author wished there was a group like ours for her when she first started out. Hearing those comments inspires me to keep evolving our opportunities.

We’ve had people come to our events who confess they were scared to call themselves a writer or felt intimidated by others. And we’ve had guest authors tell us just how welcomed and supported they felt by such a receptive crowd.

I love listening to the chatter when we gather. We all applaud each other’s publishing successes and check in on each other during pitches and rejection times, and there’s a constant brain pick during chatter of resources and contacts too.

Knowing this is a welcoming, celebratory space for so many unique and incredible writing voices in my community gives me a lot of joy.  I’ve also helped create a space that reminds me to put my own head down and write towards my dreams in great company.

HOW DO YOU GET PAST SELF DOUBT?

I remind myself that we all have doubt. Even the greatest leaders, orators and change makers. Doubt is healthy – it keeps us on our toes. I’ve very fortunate that I have surrounded myself with incredibly insightful, energetic and experienced people in my life – professionally and personally.

They are my self-doubt deflectors.

My fellow writing club members are integral to that deflection too.

Listen to keyboards clacking away next to you, and watching others furrow their brows while sorting out plot twists and character developments is like training with elite athletes. You feel inspired to be your best writing self when you are surrounded by other writing souls.

That helps eliminate the self-doubt for me.

Everyone one of our guests speakers talks about their own doubt journey and we take heart from that as well. Everyone doubts themselves, it’s just how you move through it, apply new learnings and inspire yourself to be better that matters.

WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHERS WHO WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE/CHANGE IN THE WORLD?

These little nuggets are my go-to pieces of wisdom:-

  • Every cause matters if it makes a difference. Even if that difference is to just a handful of people.
  • If you can find a co-pilot to share your change-maker vision, buckle up with them and enjoy the ride. Co-founding shares the load – because behind all of those ideas there’s a tonne of paperwork to be done and conversations to be had.
  • Have a clear and direct vision and set of values that define your cause. That way it’s easier to explain it to others when you want them to join you or support you.
  • Network your socks off. There’s so much success to be had with sharing your cause with others in community forums and professional spaces – you will be surprised where it leads your group.
DO YOU HAVE A QUOTE OR EXPRESSION THAT YOU LIVE BY?
“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.”–Benjamin Franklin
WHAT ELSE DO YOU DO?

I am a professional copywriter and soon to be published children’s author as well.

Through my business Your Coastal Connection  I write newsletters and communications strategies for some of Australia’s most respected not for profits and charities and provide PR and media services and strategic communications mentoring.

HOW CAN OTHERS HELP/GET INVOLVED?
  • Model what we do and create your own regional writer’s club, or if you’re local come hang with us.
  • Support Aussie writers by buying their books, ordering what they write into your local library or buying booking for young readers.

Encourage a writer by encouraging them to keep on going.

Connect here: WEBSITE – FACEBOOK – INSTAGRAM – TWITTER 

Please join our mailing list for the ‘The 52 Week Love Project‘ and we will hit your inbox each week with the story of an inspirational game changer … Sign Up: Here!





The post The 52 Week Love Project – Week 38 Acts of Kindness appeared first on Datelicious.

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Welcome to Week 37 of The 52 Week Love Project – Acts of Kindness. The project designed to recognize 52 inspiring humans who are giving back to our community – whether in a small way or by creating a movement for change and inspiration.

Meet Ben, the creator of SocialTable, a social dining company helping connect strangers over dinner; and fundraising for the Ruhunu Children’s Orphanage. The orphanage located in Southern Sri Lanka Ben was adopted from as a baby.

Ben recently completed building a wing at the orphanage to support newborn babies, increasing the number of beds from 89 to 115 with a focus on newborns from 0-6 months old. 

Giving back is very important to him, with all booking fees received from SocialTable being given back to different programs such as OzHarvest, Two Good Co, Twenty10 and most recently to support Meal for Disadvantaged School Children which is run by Ozharvest through the use of SocialTable’s booking tool – Hummanitix. 

WHERE DID IT ALL BEGIN?

SocialTable came out of my need to feel connected with like-minded people. The concept came about because whilst I was living overseas my friends all started having kids and when I got home to Sydney, I literally had nobody to go out with anymore.

So, after trying various dating apps, and meetups, I realised there must be a pretty big gap in the market for those that wanted to make friends. I did a bit of research, and it was evident that I wasn’t the only person who felt the pain.

So, I did an experiment. I had a table of 7 people (from different parts of my life), and organised a dinner. Only, I didn’t show up. They all got on well, and so I knew that people who didn’t necessarily know each other could share a meal. From there, the concept was born. It didn’t take long until we were doing more dinners with more people and people.

We’ve just hit our 1-year mark (12th Jan), and have had 850+ people at over 140 dinners share a meal together.

We’ve been very fortunate that we have an NPS of 65+ (the industry average is 14).

WHAT DO YOU DO?

I’m the CEO and Founder of SocialTable, a social dining platform that allows you to connect with others over dinner.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU?

When I was one and a half years old, I was abandoned at a hospital by my birth mother and was placed in an orphanage.

I was lucky enough to be adopted but still feeling disconnected is where my inspiration come from. The mission is to connect people so that nobody has to eat dinner alone if they don’t want to.  Helping people feel like they have options, rather than eating dinner alone is the key to our success.

I’ve been fortunate enough that I was able to help build a new wing on the orphanage I was from, as a way to say Thank You.  It was an absolute honour to be able to give back to the people who kept me alive.

I hope that my small gesture will help other children have a safe environment. I was able to increase the bed sizes from 89 to 115, including a brand new baby wing for children 0-6 months.

HOW DO YOU GET PAST SELF DOUBT?

It’s a daily struggle. Doubting that I am not good enough, that I don’t have the skills and that I don’t know what I’m doing. But in all honesty, this is something that everybody feels. Once you get over that, you realise that you can, you will and if your mission is worthy, you must.

WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHERS WHO WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE/CHANGE IN THE WORLD?

You only live once, so go out and do it. Don’t let anything stop you from achieving your dreams, and always be sure to say thank you, once you have to the people who have helped you along the way. That small ‘Thanks’ is often all it takes! 

DO YOU HAVE A QUOTE OR EXPRESSION THAT YOU LIVE BY?
If at first, you don’t succeed, try and try again.
HOW CAN OTHERS HELP/GET INVOLVED?

Follow us on Socialtable on social media:

Facebook  |   Instagram 

Donate directly to one of the charities:

  1. Meals for disadvantaged school children which is run by OzHarvest 
  2. Ruhunu Children’s Orphanage New Baby Wing Build: 
  Please join our mailing list for the ‘The 52 Week Love Project‘ and we will hit your inbox each week with the story of an inspirational game changer … Sign Up: Here!





The post The 52 Week Love Project – Week 37 Acts of Kindness appeared first on Datelicious.

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Welcome to Week 36 of The 52 Week Love Project – Acts of Kindness. The project designed to recognize 52 inspiring humans who are giving back to our community – whether in a small way or by creating a movement for change and inspiration.

The project showcase’s LOVE at it’s finest, share their stories – what they do and why they do it!  It’s an opportunity for us to find out what inspires them and what keeps them going when challenges or self-doubt assail them.

Meet Linh the creator of charity initiative ’ “OA Love Projects” When I asked Linh how she gets past self-doubt she said: 

‘Every morning I wake up and remind myself of what I’m grateful for. When I verbalise and visualise my gratitude, it sets a positive tone for the rest of the day and it makes me feel like I can conquer whatever I put my mind too’.

WHERE DID IT ALL BEGIN?

My story started from humble beginnings in Vietnam. Growing up in a poverty-stricken country, when I migrated to Australia I was determined to live a different lifestyle and my determination eventually lead me to start multiple 6 to 7 figure successful businesses here in Australia.

I always thought once I was ‘successful’, it would result in happiness but eventually I realised that happiness was more than a monetary figure, what made me happy was being able to change the world.

So, I created an Outsourcing Agency with a difference. Outsourcing Angel is a social enterprise that not only outsources work opportunities for talented people across the globe, we reinvest profits into charity work and initiatives to help people living in extreme poverty –  starting from those in the Philippines.

Our Charity Initiatives has helped us donate things such as a fresh water pump, food, medicine, supplies and even solar panels to those in need.

But the true heartbreaking story really began last year..

In 2018, I did a company trip visit to the Philippines and travelled up the mountain to a remote village to provide food and supplies to the Dumagat Tribe. A forgotten tribe of people that live in isolation in the mountains without access to the outside world, medicine or clean water.

I met this little girl named Hana. I found out that her mother passed away a year ago, after she gave birth to her 7th child, leaving the remaining 6 children to be raised by their father. After I left the mountains, I couldn’t stop thinking about Hana.

It made me think… what if I could help Hana and her family through a random act of kindness before I return home?

My kids live a fortunate life with everything they could ever want. What if Hana could have their life just for one day? So I did. I brought Hana, her dad and her eldest sister to the City.

It was their first time experiencing a new environment and I couldn’t even describe the look on Hana’s face when she saw a car – something she’s never seen before. I took them to the mall where she was able to pick out new clothes, new toys and even a new bike.

Hana couldn’t stop staring at this huge chicken dish she ordered at a restaurant, the biggest she’s ever seen in her life.

The price of this one dish was $7, which is a day’s salary for her fellow villagers for carrying an 80 kilo bag of coals down the mountain for an entire day.

Growing up, Hana always bathed herself in the river, so it was also her first time ever having a shower in a bathroom. This was her first experience with a steady and clean stream of water which she cherished.

It was hard to see Hana have to go back to her home town again. But it was not our last good bye.

One year later, I visited Hana and the family again…and I was greeted with big warm hugs from the whole family. Her sister was excited to tell me that her and many other kids in the village learnt to ride the bike I bought for her.

When we first met, Hana’s only dream was to be a teacher, because she didn’t know what else was possible for her in this world.

She had never stepped foot outside of the village or experienced the environment that we all know so well. She had no idea what she could dream of.

Sometimes in life, it only takes one small act of kindness to make a big difference in someone’s life.

And this one small act of kindness, can impact our lives so much too. 

WHAT DO YOU DO?

I’m an author, speaker, philanthropist and Co-founder of multiple businesses including Outsourcing Angel.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU?

It all started from where I grew up, experiencing what it was like to live in a second/third world country really shaped my mindset and eventually lead me to this path of philanthropy. I also look up to generous souls like Oprah Winfrey, who has used her success and influence to empower us to a better future which I hope to do the same.

 

HOW DO YOU GET PAST SELF DOUBT?

Every morning I wake up and remind myself of what I’m grateful for. When I verbalise and visualise my gratitude, it sets a positive tone for the rest of the day and it makes me feel like I can conquer whatever I put my mind to.

WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHERS WHO WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE/CHANGE IN THE WORLD?

Every act of kindness, big or small, counts. Sometimes people don’t think that they can make an impact but taking action and paying it forward is so much better than doing nothing at all.

In a world where it is so easy to get caught up in every day stresses of our own obstacles, we need to take a moment to reflect on just how lucky we are and think about how we can help those that are less fortunate than us.

DO YOU HAVE A QUOTE OR EXPRESSION THAT YOU LIVE BY?

DO WHAT YOU LOVE.

This is my company’s motto because I strongly believe that no matter what you choose to do in your life, if it’s something you love – you’ll pour your heart, soul and energy into it and the world will reward you in return.

WHAT ELSE DO YOU DO?

I’m also a mother of three wonderful kids that I hope to one day instil the same beliefs and outlook on life

HOW CAN OTHERS HELP/GET INVOLVED?

Donate to OA Love Projects:

When you donate to our cause, all your funds will go directly to our charity partner TNB who will also use the funds to directly help those in need.

Together with Lash Tribe and our other donors, #OALoveProjects were able to achieve so much!

For $50.00

  • You can sponsor 1 sack of rice enough to feed a family for 2-3 weeks.
  • With this budget big woks of noodles can be prepared, enough to feed 20-30 families. Example of foods that are usually handed out, noodles with veggies, soup (macaroni + meat + veggies), rice meals (fish/chicken+rice+veggies).
  • As a treat (dessert) if budget permits – shaved ice can be prepared (most kids haven’t even experienced seeing ice), which they mix with sweetened banana and milk.

For $100.00

  • 3 sacks of Palay, which can produce about 50 sacks of organically farmed rice.
  • Approximately 65 pairs of sturdy rubber slippers for all the children in one entre tribal community or sitio.
  • About 20 sets of school bags with complete school supplies (notebooks, pens, and paper) for 20 children.
  • Roughly 15 sets of school uniform for girls and 25 sets of school uniform for boys.
  • For $300.00
  • You can donate a jet-matic water pump to provide readily available source of clean drinking water and will save the tribe from their usual 2-3 hours trek to the river, where still many sitios or tribal communities have to go to retrieve water.

For $500.00

  • A complete set of a solar power generator can be purchased, which will benefit up to 40 tribal families.

For $800.00

  • Can purchase supplies and set up night light for an entire tribal community, as many tribal communities have very limited electricity supplies so building an energy source will be much more sustainable for their future.

For $1,500.00

  • With this amount the implementation and setting up of tribal fishponds can be achieved. The fishpond will benefit the local community by supplying them with a source of food that they can eat and sell.
Please join our mailing list for the ‘The 52 Week Love Project‘ and we will hit your inbox each week with the story of an inspirational game changer … Sign Up:
Here!





The post The 52 Week Love Project – Week 36 Acts of Kindness appeared first on Datelicious.

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Welcome to Week 35 of The 52 Week Love Project – Acts of Kindness. The project designed to recognize 52 inspiring humans who are giving back to our community – whether in a small way or by creating a movement for change and inspiration.

The project showcase’s LOVE at it’s finest, share their stories – what they do and why they do it!  It’s an opportunity for us to find out what inspires them and what keeps them going when challenges or self-doubt assail them.

Imagine if your goal was simply: Everyone and anyone! Sharing random acts of kindness where ever you go! This weeks 52-week love project is about Nora – who’s business is to make a difference where ever she goes!

 

WHERE DID IT ALL BEGIN?

I had a belief that I wasn’t giving enough, that in order to make more money I had to give more money, this scared me as I didn’t trust that I would it work. So I just had to try it out for myself.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

There are several things I do every week, they all stem from a question I ask myself every day;

“Whose day can I make today?”

I begin each day with that question to myself and then decide on little acts of kindness I can do throughout the day to people.

This can include:

  • Paying someone’s bill at a café for them (without them knowing)
  • Giving money to the grocer so he can give it to the next person and they can do whatever they want with it.
  • Put money into little envelopes with a letter of affirmations and leaving them randomly in varying locations e.g. inside books, on café tables, on car or scooter mirrors for the owners to find them…
  • I tip extra, more than I would ever
  • I hug random people, talk to random people just to say hello.
  • I compliment people for no reason, yes, even strangers!

Every day it may be different, but the one thing I do every month is to leave money with affirmations wherever I go!

WHAT INSPIRED YOU?

I had read about spiritual ‘tithing’ from Gabrielle Bernstein in one of her books many years ago, I think it was ‘Add more ~ing into your life”, but then I promptly forgot about it.

Recently I also read “Happy Money” by Laina Beunostar (very short book) where she talks about giving little presents away, and this is what I started doing in my life now too!

Ultimately what inspired me is the idea of the woman I want to be. I want to be kind, compassionate, generous, confident, friendly and a woman people want to be around.

Therefore I knew I had to change some of my actions in order to start to embody who I want to be, right here, right now.

HOW DO YOU GET PAST SELF DOUBT?

Because what I do is secretive (for the most part), I get such joy out of thinking about the person or people who will receive my little kindness gifts… I imagine them smiling thinking who the hell put this there, or who in the world paid for my bill!?

The thought that they are positively affected and maybe just maybe what they received as a result of my actions truly made their day – that in itself eradicates all self-doubt.

WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHERS WHO WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE/CHANGE IN THE WORLD?

Start to think about the person you want to become.

  • What are they doing?
  • What are their qualities?
  • How are they showing up in this world?

Then consider small actions YOU can take right NOW that will embody the answers to the questions above.

For example, if you want to give more to charity but feel you can’t, what is a small action you can take that will start you on that path? Maybe donating one item of clothing a month to begin with, perhaps it’s an hour of your time or other tiny small things that will get you going…

DO YOU HAVE A QUOTE OR EXPRESSION THAT YOU LIVE BY?

One of my favourite quotes is;

“If not now, then when?”

I love this because I tend to put things off, “I’ll do it later”, “not now I am busy…” but I learnt that SOMEDAY is actually NO DAY. It’s now or now or now or now. Do it now or then don’t do it.

WHAT ELSE DO YOU DO?

I mentor women to empower them to lead sensual, fulfilling lives filled with intimacy, joy and belonging.

I do this through online 1-1 mentoring, group programs and artfully nude photoshoots all out of Bali where I am based.

HOW CAN OTHERS HELP/GET INVOLVED?

I’m a total ‘gram gal – come follow me on Instagram: @norawendel  and watch my stories for more inspiration on how to live a life that is filled with purpose, sensual pleasure and intimacy. 

Over on my website, which you can visit: www.norawendel.com  you can find out more about me and read plenty of blog posts on how to embody your womanhood, how to tap into more pleasure in your life and how to create epic relationships that leave you feeling seen, heard and appreciated.

Please join our mailing list for the ‘The 52 Week Love Project‘ and we will hit your inbox each week with the story of an inspirational game changer … Sign Up: Here!





The post The 52 Week Love Project – Week 35 Acts of Kindness appeared first on Datelicious.

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Welcome to Week 34 of The 52 Week Love Project – Acts of Kindness. The project designed to recognize 52 inspiring humans who are giving back to our community – whether in a small way or by creating a movement for change and inspiration.

The project showcase’s LOVE at it’s finest, share their stories – what they do and why they do it!  It’s an opportunity for us to find out what inspires them and what keeps them going when challenges or self-doubt assail them.

Introducing Marguerita Cheng, A charity runner for ‘Girls On The Run’ that is Inspiring girls to be joyful, healthy and confident using a fun, experience-based curriculum which creatively integrates running.

Girl on the run’s goal: ‘ We envision a world where every girl knows and activates her limitless potential and is free to boldly pursue her dreams.’

WHERE DID IT ALL BEGIN?

I never thought I could run because I developed asthma as a result of complications from childhood pneumonia. I want every girl to have the opportunity to participate in the  SoleMate program, which encourages people like me to train for athletic events while raising money for Girls on the Run.

For the last few years, my daughter’s school(s) have/has participated in the Girls on the Run program which meets a couple of times a week after school to learn about wellness and then run approximately 1 to 3 miles in the neighbourhood of the school.

I have been so impressed with Girls on the Run’s messages of female empowerment and the energy you can draw from your friends and peers as you each push yourself to do your personal best.

I started coaching Girls On The Run when my daughter was in the 4th grade. I coached Girls On The Run for 5 seasons. I started running to accompany my daughter and keep the girls safe.

When I pick my daughter up from her run, I am so proud of her and all of the girls. The effort she makes at each session really reminds me of how I personally struggle to push past excuses and achieve my own running milestones.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

I’m a SoleMate or Charity runner for Girls on the Run D.C. I raise money to empower girls through running. I raised enough funds for 12 girls. Crossing the finish line never felt so good because I know I’m making a difference in their lives.

Specifically, while D.C. is an international centre of power and influence, it also has areas of distress. D.C.’s childhood obesity rate is 33.8% and children are living in poverty.  D.C. girls from low-income neighbourhoods have few options for programs focused on either fitness/healthy living or mentor-based character education programs. Girls on the Run serves both of these needs in one program.

As I trained for the Marine Corps Marathon, I would think of my daughters as I run.  I also think about the girls who benefit from the funds my friends and family are contributing. Many participants’ fees are subsidized by philanthropy: some girls are not able to pay, but the money we are raising is helping them participate in this amazing program.

Hopefully, one of the girls who participate in Girls on the Run this year can run a race someday and draw inspiration from the next generation of girls learning to run, learning to persevere, learning to push past excuses, and achieve heights that once seemed so distant.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU?

My inspiration to do this comes from my youngest daughter and a running program in which she participates, Girls on the Run. The message resonates with me because we help girls increase self-confidence, develop healthy relationships, and feel good about themselves, inside and out.

What is one inspiring thing you’d want a potential GOTR coach to know.

You may not realize the positive impact you have on these girls’ lives. It’s truly inspiring to know that you can contribute to the personal development of a girl during a very crucial time in their life. 

 

How Do You Get Past Self Doubt?

Wow, I learn as much from coaching the girls as they are learning from me.  I have become fearless in the face of adversity. I realize that sometimes the most challenging and intimidating experiences are the most transformational.

When I doubt myself, I reflect on different experiences – I then feel more confident and empowered.

WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHERS WHO WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE/CHANGE IN THE WORLD?

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has. Margaret Mead

We all have time, treasure and talents to positively impact the lives of others.

DO YOU HAVE A QUOTE OR EXPRESSION THAT YOU LIVE BY?

I have two:

So many people spend their health gaining wealth, and then have to spend their wealth to regain their health.

If you are depressed you are living in the past. 
If you are anxious you are living in the future. 
If you are at peace you are living in the present.

WHAT ELSE DO YOU DO?

I’m a Certified Financial Planner® professional. I help my clients gain clarity and confidence to plan for their life financial goals. In my free time, I provide pro bono financial counselling for underserved and underrepresented communities. I also help women rebuild their lives after devastating life-changing events, such as illness, divorce or loss of a loved one.

I have also launched 261 Fearless Club DC Metro, a new non-profit running club for women in the DC Metro area. This Club uses running to empower women with a unique non-competitive and social training technique which helps them to find the joy in running. Co-Founder and Co-Director Rosy Spraker are passionate about creating an inclusive positive environment to support women. 

HOW CAN OTHERS HELP/GET INVOLVED?

INCLUDE YOUR WEBSITE, SOCIAL MEDIA AND ANY OTHER RELEVANT INFORMATION ….

Connect on Facebook: here 

Connect on LinkedIn: here 

Visit the Wealth website: www.blueoceanglobalwealth.com

Learn more about the 261 Fearless: here 

Please join our mailing list for the ‘The 52 Week Love Project‘ and we will hit your inbox each week with the story of an inspirational game changer … Sign Up: Here!





The post The 52 Week Love Project – Week 34 Acts of Kindness appeared first on Datelicious.

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Welcome to Week 33 of The 52 Week Love Project – Acts of Kindness. The project designed to recognize 52 inspiring humans who are giving back to our community – whether in a small way or by creating a movement for change and inspiration.

The project showcase’s LOVE at it’s finest, share their stories – what they do and why they do it!  It’s an opportunity for us to find out what inspires them and what keeps them going when challenges or self-doubt assail them.

 

Naomi Lambert is the creator of ‘The Cool To Be Kind Project’ and inspiring others to undertake random acts of Kindness!  When I asked Naomi  what advice she has for others that want a make a difference in our world:  ‘There is nothing stopping you. It’s amazing when I look back at the years of comparing myself to others in terms of marriage, kids, jobs etc. The order of how things should happen. Somehow, you just need to trust in your journey.’  

Naomi on the right, pictured with her BF that has been supportive of her journey 

 

WHAT DO YOU DO?

I designed small cards which challenged people to undertake a random act of kindness in the lead up to Christmas. I put suggestions on the back, created an email address and printed 50 of them.  I hid them around Perth and with no expectation of response, told nobody because it seemed silly. I received 32 responses from 50 cards…. welcome to The Cool To Be Kind Project!

WHAT INSPIRED YOU?

Lots of things. Years of ill health. Having to have a hysterectomy in 2015 robbing me of my only dream that had been constant my whole life – being a Mum. The true catalyst though was being at the shops earlier that day and I saw a kid who probably wasn’t far off teenage years, with two adults who I presume were parents. He knocked a lady over and didn’t stop. Neither did the two adults. I don’t get angry about many things but this made me angry. Kid not stopping. Not really ok. Adults not stopping. REALLY NOT OK!

HOW DO YOU GET PAST SELF DOUBT?

I don’t know if I ever do. Or ever will. I doubt myself every day but I have also learned that I am actually the one in control. I can put the brakes on at any time. I often feel I am now responsible for showing people that it’s ok to be kind but the truth is, they are the ones responsible for their actions. When I do doubt, it is really easy to keep it to myself and pretend everything is fine but that’s counter-productive. I’ve had to establish a support network that won’t just tell me what I want to hear. Unfortunately…

WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHERS WHO WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE/CHANGE IN THE WORLD?

There is nothing stopping you. It’s amazing when I look back at the years of comparing myself to others in terms of marriage, kids, jobs etc. The order of how things should happen. Somehow, you just need to trust in your journey. It sounds so cliched but it is true. Not even two years ago, I was grateful that I’d gone a month without surgery and now I’m telling my story on a global platform. But making a difference or change in the world is not about how much money you have or the celebrity that people equate with being successful. You can make a difference as soon as you walk out your front door when you wave at your next door neighbour who has had a rough morning made better by your simple wave and hello. That’s really what The Cool To Be Kind Project comes down to. It’s the small things that make the difference and have a knock on effect.

DO YOU HAVE A QUOTE OR EXPRESSION THAT YOU LIVE BY?

 Kindness is free but not given freely. Let’s change that.

Live life as though everything is rigged in your favour.

WHAT ELSE DO YOU DO?

I love to be in the kitchen. On the days when I feel I’m sinking rather than staying above water, I’ll be in the kitchen. I made the mistake of offering to do my friend’s child’s birthday cake a few years ago and it wasn’t a one off! She now has two kids There is a big difference between baking for me and creating a “Paw Patrol, PJ Masks and Peppa Pig cake which is set in space but I’m a girl so make it a girly space theme!”

Write poetry.

Be in the garden.

Speak to my Grandad in the UK at least twice a week for his kindness update!

Although not as active as I used to be, my peer support group, Be More Mimi, still exists and I will forever stop and make time to answer the questions of anyone struggling with infertility, the pain that goes with it and try to offer the best support I can to any young female having to navigate the rocky road of a hysterectomy and the shit (sorry) that goes with it. It sucks…

HOW CAN OTHERS HELP/GET INVOLVED?

Kindness cards are available for purchase with part proceeds currently being donated to Motor Neuron Disease Australia.

I love to hear about the kind acts people have done, and what inspired them to do so.

Use our hastags

  • #thecooltobekindproject
  • #thecoolkids
  • #kindnessisfreeandigaveitfreely

Follow, like, tell others

Want to say something to someone that needs a pick me up? You can head to the website and send a Positive Postcard – with the receiver not knowing who it’s from.

Website:  www.thecooltobekindproject.org

Follow us on Facebook: here

Follow us on Instagram: here

Please join our mailing list for the ‘The 52 Week Love Project‘ and we will hit your inbox each week with the story of an inspirational game changer … Sign Up: Here!





The post The 52 Week Love Project – Week 33 Acts of Kindness appeared first on Datelicious.

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Welcome to Week 32 of The 52 Week Love Project – Acts of Kindness. The project designed to recognize 52 inspiring humans who are giving back to our community – whether in a small way or by creating a movement for change and inspiration.

The project showcase’s LOVE at it’s finest, share their stories – what they do and why they do it!  It’s an opportunity for us to find out what inspires them and what keeps them going when challenges or self-doubt assail them.

What can possibly happen when you ask the question ‘what’s next’ and you are receptive to hearing the answer? Nicole the Founder of  Rogue & Rouge Foundation and Published Author of ‘Love out Loud’ asked this very question when sitting quietly meditating in Ibiza. Read Nicole’s story to find out what happened next! WHERE DID IT ALL BEGIN?

Growing up, I was hyper-creative, had a varied upbringing and went to several high schools as a result of living between the UK, Australia and other areas of the world.

The effects of living in different countries and attending several schools – I felt segregated and misunderstood which manifested into anxiety. At the age of 12, I did not understand what was going on and how to effectively communicate it. I experienced early battles of mental illness and instability, and by the time I hit 14 wanted to leave school as I didn’t enjoy the structure.

From there, I attended an arts academy and majored in Theatre. It allowed me to find a way that I wanted to express myself and it was neutered in this environment.

I still had a mental illness that I was battling and struggled with wanting to be the best I could be. As part of this, it ended up escalating to an eating disorder.

Looking back, it was the greatest lesson. It gave me a deep understanding of the world and forced me to be my own strength. It gave me a sense of self and helped to be clear on what I wanted to do. I  never want another teenager to feel isolated and misunderstood.

 

WHAT DO YOU DO?

That’s when I started  The Rogue & Rouge Foundation – specialize in running school-based mental health programs and outreach mental health in communities – looking at it in grassroots – how to do we start the conversation and help on a preventative level.  Mental Illness terms are common now – but when the Foundation started it was hardly conversations that were being had.  I wanted to create safety for people – that’s where the healing needs to happen.

‘Love out Loud’ the book was published last year. I decided to publish the book, at the end of 2015. I experienced heart broke and it was the first wave of pain that I went through since I was 16. But it was different – this was nothing within my control. I had to surrender to the pain and let go. I knew I had to remake myself and took a journey across the world. I found myself meditating in Ibiza and asked myself ‘what’s next’ and leaned into it.  I was receptive to listening to something bigger than my own ego.

At that moment, my phone rang – and it was a book publisher that called and said ‘I have been following you on Instagram and would like to support you through the book writing process. ‘

It was like a yellow brick road appeared in front of me. Love Out Loud is a guide to self-love and how to express it into the world. I would get writer’s block if I didn’t integrate what I was expressing. As I finished the last sentence, I broke into tears – it was such a healing process. 

NICOLE GIBSON: An Insight Into My Work - YouTube

WHAT INSPIRED YOU?

It was my own journey. As the journey progressed it became other people’s stories. Growing up with a lot of luxury and privilege I thought everyone was the same.

I worked in communities where domestic violence was more normal than not – working in the outback, I travelled in a van and volunteered in communities for over 2 years and I started to learn about others and walk away learning about these communities and my own humanity was depended. 

HOW DO YOU GET PAST SELF DOUBT?

Self-doubt is always there – like failure, criticism – I don’t think you are free from it.

Fear – used to make me feel paralysed. I utilize that tension to propel myself forward. If you can curate that in yourself – that’s what it means to be unstoppable.  The doubts are an important part of being human. They keep me humble.

WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHERS WHO WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE/CHANGE IN THE WORLD?

The biggest piece of advice is not taking anyone else’s advice. Don’t seek it. That results in getting further away from your own compass. My greatest achievements are when the most magical situations have happened.

Everyone wants to know the steps e.g. ‘The 7 keys to Happiness ‘. One person’s empowerment is not yours. You have to do the work for you!

DO YOU HAVE A QUOTE OR EXPRESSION THAT YOU LIVE BY?
‘You are not your pain’

 

‘Love is not finding the perfection, it’s the unconditional permission to explore the imperfection ‘
WHAT ELSE DO YOU DO?

I am a speaker, Author and Facilitator. Organizations often ask me to do cultural work with them. I do a lot of work with government departments to help them become human-centric.

When speaking at a conference in July, I was approached by an investor that wanted to transform ‘Love Out Loud’ into a broader well-being company that we are currently setting up – with an online course, workshops and retreats and training.  

HOW CAN OTHERS HELP/GET INVOLVED?

The first step:  read the book ‘Love Out Loud’ – which can be found: here.   There is an online course – the first chapter is free and you can get an understanding of what it’s all about.

Donate to the Rouge & Rouge Foundation or Volunteer: find out more: here  

Follow us on Facebook: Here 

Follow us on Instagram: Here

Please join our mailing list for the ‘The 52 Week Love Project‘ and we will hit your inbox each week with the story of an inspirational game changer … Sign Up: Here!





The post The 52 Week Love Project – Week 32 Acts of Kindness appeared first on Datelicious.

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Welcome to Week 31 of The 52 Week Love Project – Acts of Kindness. The project designed to recognize 52 inspiring humans who are giving back to our community – whether in a small way or by creating a movement for change and inspiration.

The project showcase’s LOVE at it’s finest, share their stories – what they do and why they do it!  It’s an opportunity for us to find out what inspires them and what keeps them going when challenges or self-doubt assail them.

Meet Jonathan – the creator of AOK Friends that stands for ‘Acts of Kindness friends’, located in Seattle, USA.

 The backbone quote of the organisation came about when a homeless man hugged Jonathan and said to him ‘The only thing real before you die is what you give!

WHERE DID IT ALL BEGIN?

July 14, 2017  – I woke up that day and posed the question ‘what do you want me to do today?’  I remember experiencing something emotional and got a vision to go to the store and buy hotdogs and bottles of water.

I headed home, made the hotdogs and put them into a insulated bag to keep the food warm and headed to a park. At the time I didn’t have much experience serving the homeless. I remember that this homeless guy came up to me and I recall being scared but he pretty much told me what I needed to hear.

I started handing out the hot dogs and water to people.

Shortly after, I got my friend involved – and then we headed out at night and served people on the street. More and more people got involved and we started doing it every Sunday. There is now a designated area that we can serve food.

On our first night mission – maybe the first person we met on the night mission was a person laying on the street, his head was close to the road and looked like he was in bad shape.  We woke him up gave him food and water and cleaned him up.  After he had something to eat, he came up and hugged me and said ‘ Thank you for loving me. The only thing real before you die is what you give!’ This has become the motto of AOK Friends.

What Does AOK – stands for?

The first name was ‘Anonymous Acts of Kindness’. However, one night, when we had several people helping out and were serving food, the police showed up and said that we were not permitted to be handing out food.

There were all these people eating – and I turned to the policeman and asked if he had ever been with friends out and about and had too much food and offered it his friends. The policeman said ‘yeah yeah sure I have done that’. I looked at those that were eating and said ‘these are all our friends!’

Our view is that we are all friends – instead of thinking of people that were helpless! Friends getting together. Everyone is just together – no one is better than another.

That’s how ‘Anonymous Acts of Kindness turned to ‘Acts of Kindness Friends’.

 WHAT DO YOU DO?

AOK Friends grew bigger and we formed a not for profit organization. We serve food most Sundays. We chose Sunday’s as when we began we discovered that there was not much access to things on Sunday – so it seems like there was more of a need on Sunday.

We also provide hygiene kits, basic necessities, blankets etc. if we have them donated.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU?

Not sure how to answer that! It was someone of the greatest moments of my life. Inspiration from God.  

HOW DO YOU GET PAST SELF DOUBT?

That’s a tough one – for every situation can be something different. I become present on the impact that I have on the world in the moment.

WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHERS WHO WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE/CHANGE IN THE WORLD?

My mind goes to kindness! Be kind to people.

I have a new mission – to meet a new person every day – I go down to where there is a lot of people with a sign that says ‘I desire a conversation, will you talk to me’. There was a man that came up to talk to me and asked  ‘what can people do for you, that would most help you’ what came to mind was being interested in people.

For example – I am an entertainer, and when I have had people listen to me, and my creative gifts I feel like that inspires me to continue creating.

My advice is be interested in people and be accepting.  It’s one of the greatest gift you can give to others. If you feel appreciated and loved, it encourages people to live out their dreams.

I noticed a lot of people don’t plan for the unplanned to happen. Feels like some of the best moments in life happen from those unplanned spontaneous moments.

DO YOU HAVE A QUOTE OR EXPRESSION THAT YOU LIVE BY?

The meaning of life is to find your giftThe purpose of life is to give it away.

Leave space for the unplanned to happen – create space for the spontaneous!

WHAT ELSE DO YOU DO?

I am an entertainer – a hooler Hoop entertainer

 

 

Please join our mailing list for the ‘The 52 Week Love Project‘ and we will hit your inbox each week with the story of an inspirational game changer … Sign Up: Here!





The post The 52 Week Love Project – Week 31 Acts of Kindness appeared first on Datelicious.

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Welcome to Week 30 of The 52 Week Love Project – Acts of Kindness. The project designed to recognize 52 inspiring humans who are giving back to our community – whether in a small way or by creating a movement for change and inspiration.

The project showcase’s LOVE at it’s finest, share their stories – what they do and why they do it!  It’s an opportunity for us to find out what inspires them and what keeps them going when challenges or self-doubt assail them.

Meet Gabor the Founder of ‘InspireFlix’ He is the Netflix of Local Heroes! 

When asked what inspired Gabor to create Inspire Flix, this is what he said:  ‘humanity’s biggest challenges are global issues that transcend borders and cultures, therefore our single most important task is to unite our fragmented global society. There is no stronger catalyst for this then the genuine stories of everyday people that we can tell.’

WHERE DID IT ALL BEGIN?

Amazingly it has sort of started with the number 52 like your project. At the end of 2016 as I wrapped up my previous startup, I was in soul-searching mode looking for a purposeful new project. One of my very simple mottos is “Just Do It!” so I’ve started a daily vlog on YouTube which basically documented my thought process and first steps. I knew my strength and passion was in documentary style filmmaking so my first concept after a few weeks of vlogging was to produce 52 films in 2017. I’ve named it “My Doco Club”.

About 9 weeks and 8 films in, I had another idea … “what if I could get other filmmakers on board and create even more content” awesome!

This is when the “My Doco Club” name was obviously no longer a good choice, but guess what! The domain InspireFlix.com was available! WHAT?! I could hardly believe my eyes and quickly made the decision to immediately rebrand my little baby, and think about nurturing it for a bigger impact…

WHAT DO YOU DO?

I’m the founder of InspireFlix – the Netflix of Local Heroes . As the name suggests we film and distribute short documentary films of everyday people that have stories to share. The stories we film are curated by our audience through the monthly “Story To Film” competition.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU?

Most of humanity’s biggest challenges are global issues that transcend borders and cultures, therefore our single most important task is to unite our fragmented global society. There is no stronger catalyst for this then the genuine stories of everyday people that we can tell.

HOW DO YOU GET PAST SELF DOUBT?

Great question. I believe that we all have strengths which we need to find, develop and utilise. Mastery is one of the best tools against self-doubt. When you’re an entrepreneur, there will be plenty of areas you might not be good at as you start up, however you have no choice but to do them yourself. You must gradually work towards establishing a team of people who are great at all the various areas you lack the mastery.

DO YOU HAVE A QUOTE OR EXPRESSION THAT YOU LIVE BY?

Do what you can with what you have and don’t worry about the rest.

I use this as a thought exercise in all challenging times I face… it isn’t always that easy to let go of things you cannot control, but you must and focus on things you can influence.

WHAT ELSE DO YOU DO?

Well in terms of business, I do everything that helps me to keep InspireFlix alive and growing. I freelance as a director and /or cameraman, sell stock footage, AirBnB my guest room, and even drive Uber some weeks if I must. Do whatever it takes to keep my investable hours high on my beloved project.

HOW CAN OTHERS HELP/GET INVOLVED?

For a limited time people can support us by becoming “co-producers”, This essentially means they’ll be listed in the film’s credits as co-producers on all films released during their support period. More info at

Individuals with a story to share should submit their pitch at and compete in the Story To Film competition.

I also welcome anyone who wants to volunteer to the project.

Visit our Website:  here 

Story to Film competition: more details here

Connect on Facebook:  here

Connect on Instagram: here 

Connect on Twitter: here 

Lead By Example – Teaser from INSPIREFLIX on Vimeo.

                             

Lead By Example - Teaser - Vimeo

Please join our mailing list for the ‘The 52 Week Love Project‘ and we will hit your inbox each week with the story of an inspirational game changer … Sign Up: Here!





The post The 52 Week Love Project – Week 30 Acts of Kindness appeared first on Datelicious.

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