CaringOn is a non-profit organization that provides a way for patients with advanced cancer to say “thank you” to their primary caregiver. The site also contains different caregivers stories, how to nominate a caregiver, how to support a caregiver and much more.
Bring in the attached flyer, present it to your server, and California Pizza Kitchen will donate 20% of your check to CaringOn. Purchases include dine-in, takeout, catering, and all beverages.
The event will be on April 11th, 2018, from 11AM-10PM and is valid at the following location: 118 Shawan Road, Hunt Valley, MD 21030. This location is next to the Regal Movie Theater and can be reached at 410-785-3336.
UPDATE: The Marine Corps Marathon raised $4,641 from 49 donors who supported Debbie in memory of Judy and CaringOn. Debbie finished the Marathon and had this to say:
“…the marathon at 50 years old—-quite different than the invincible 25 year old when I first did the marine corps—had so much more meaning. The marine corps marathon is filled with patriotism and was so incredible to be a part of it especially at these crazy times the country is going through. In addition to the patriotism I ran for something so personal–remembering and thinking of my sweet special childhood friend , Judy, every step of the way. I know how hard she fought and am so proud to say I could be a part of strengthening the amazing selfless organization she created. Thank you so much to all who supported me—people who know me and people who do not. We all did this together. “
ORIGINAL STORY:In honor of our late founder, Judy Davanzo, Debbie Golden-Katzman is running in the Marine Corps Marathon in Washington D.C., October 22, 2017. Her goal is to raise a lump sum to donate to CaringOn and, in her words, honor “the wonderful work they are doing in supporting everyone affected by terminal illness.”
Debbie Golden-Katzman’s Story:
“In April 2016, I lost a very dear childhood friend (as many of you did too), Judy Davanzo. I met Judy in second grade. Judy left a husband and two young children. She was an amazing woman in so many ways and a person one could not help but adore immediately.
“Although Judy was given a more exact “life timeline” as she told me, she still thought so much of others. She told me how everyone always wants to help the sick person, but seeing what her husband, Drew, was doing and going through for her, she wanted to see a caregiver of a terminally ill person get some attention as well. She was determined to start an organization while she was still alive that would do just that—do something for the caregiver. Because of her hard work a wonderful organization was created….CaringOn.
“I would like to help this special organization as a tribute to my dear friend. Now at 50 years old, I am going home to DC to run the Marine Corps Marathon (which was my very first marathon at 25 years old). It will be the first time I “start from scratch” training and my goal is to get to the finish line in memory of Judy. I am asking you if you would consider making a donation in Judy’s honor, no matter what denomination. All donations will go to CaringOn. It seems like there are far too many people in the situation Drew Davanzo was in and I know Judy would be so happy to know if more caregivers like Drew could receive a special gift.
“I also MORE than welcome people to run with me during the marathon—as well as lots of spectators!!! I will wear a big pink bow in my ponytail so you can find me. This will be my most challenging run, but keeping the cause in mind and remembering how Judy handled her challenges will be a great motivation.
“Thanks so much in advance. I so appreciate it. This really means so much to me.”
Consider honoring Judy’s memory by donating to Debbie’s fund in support of CaringOn.
“It works in all kinds of crises — medical, legal, even existential. It’s the ‘Ring Theory’ of kvetching. The first rule is comfort in, dump out.
“When Susan had breast cancer, we heard a lot of lame remarks, but our favorite came from one of Susan’s colleagues. She wanted, she needed, to visit Susan after the surgery, but Susan didn’t feel like having visitors, and she said so. Her colleague’s response? ‘This isn’t just about you.’
“‘It’s not?” Susan wondered. ‘My breast cancer is not about me? It’s about you?’
“The same theme came up again when our friend Katie had a brain aneurysm. She was in intensive care for a long time and finally got out and into a step-down unit. She was no longer covered with tubes and lines and monitors, but she was still in rough shape. A friend came and saw her and then stepped into the hall with Katie’s husband, Pat. ‘I wasn’t prepared for this,’ she told him. ‘I don’t know if I can handle it.'”
In all reality the woman who spoke to Katie’s husband loves her friend dearly, but seeing Katie in her current state “moved her so deeply.” It wasn’t the right thing to say or do and the same applies to Susan’s colleague’s remark.
In an effort to teach people how to avoid saying or acting in the wrong way during crisis, Susan developed a simple technique. This “works for all kinds of crises: medical, legal, financial, romantic, even existential. She calls it the Ring Theory.”
“Draw a circle. This is the center ring. In it, put the name of the person at the center of the current trauma. For Katie’s aneurysm, that’s Katie. Now draw a larger circle around the first one. In that ring put the name of the person next closest to the trauma. In the case of Katie’s aneurysm, that was Katie’s husband, Pat. Repeat the process as many times as you need to. In each larger ring put the next closest people. Parents and children before more distant relatives. Intimate friends in smaller rings, less intimate friends in larger ones. When you are done you have a Kvetching Order. One of Susan’s patients found it useful to tape it to her refrigerator.”
To learn more about the Ring Theory, click here to read the full article.
Join us for our Volunteer Training Workshop! Learn the tools you need to be part of our rewarding Caregiver Gift Giving Process and give a gift to someone who cares.
Home of Susan Ferrer
6 Valley Ridge Court
Timonium, Maryland 21093
Tuesday evening, May 2, 2017 from 7 – 8:30 pm
RSVP by April 27, 2017:
Susan@caringon.org or 410-913-1760
CaringOn was founded by Judy Goldberg Davanzo and Lee Kappelman to give caregivers an opportunity to “recharge, refresh, and renew” and take a break from their caregiving responsibilities. Patients now have a way to express their gratitude to their caregivers by gifting them with time to themselves. CaringOn is able to provide the necessary support and services needed so the caregiver has peace of mind while they enjoy their gift, step away and take care of themselves. This time/respite provides the Caregiver with time to refresh, renew, recharge and come back rejuvenated and with a new energy.
Danielle Fields dedicated a gift to her mother. She says “Clarissa Parnell is a 52 year old loving and caring mother and wife. She is currently taking care of her husband, Daryl, who has been diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer. She puts a lot of her time and effort into taking care of family and friends. She also dedicated 18 years of her life working as a Patient Care Technician for University of Maryland Medical Center. Although this hard work has put a good amount of wear and tear on her physical and mental state, she stays strong.”
Danielle and CaringOn presented Clarissa with dinner and tickets to her favorite show to thank her for being a caregiver and reward her with time off to enjoy herself and recharge her energy.
If you are a patient who is blessed with the attention of a caregiver, or if you are the family member or friend of a caregiver who is watching over another person, then it may be difficult to know what to say and do. He or she has an enormous responsibility and may often be overwhelmed by the process, so help to care for them by knowing some of the things that you should never say to a caregiver.
Things You Should Never Say to a Caregiver
“About one in three Americans is providing care to someone who is ill, disabled or elderly,” and “78 percent of the caregivers said they needed help.” That’s more than 3/4 of caregivers who admitted to needing a little extra assistance in their work, and doesn’t take into account those who may benefit from aid, but who don’t speak up. It’s so important that we are gracious and respectful with these people, so learn some of the kinds of things you should never say to a caregiver if you want to help them as much as you can.
For example, if you don’t intend to follow through, then don’t say something like “let me know if you need anything.” Making a vague promise and then not actually intending to help, especially if they really need it, is a disappointing blow to the caregiver. In fact, if you really do want to help, then you should extend a specific offer, like bringing them dinner or watching the person they care for for an evening.
Something else that you should never say to a caregiver is “you have to make time for yourself.” Even though this is absolutely true, the person likely already knows this, and it’s not productive to have it repeated to them. It may be that they just can’t be away from their charge at the moment and that there isn’t anyone else to help, so having you tell them that they need a break is likely frustrating.
It can be uncomfortable to talk to the caregiver about what they have to do, and about the person that they’re taking care of, but a true friend should reach out and offer to have those conversations if the caregiver needs it. Otherwise, they’ll have fewer and fewer outlets, and that can really build up. Practice considerate listening and provide an outlet so your friend or family member can get some of that tension off their chest. Things like this are easier when shared.
These are just a few of the kinds of things you should never say to a caregiver, but certainly not all of them. Be mindful of what that person is going for when you interact with them, and do everything you can to make the process easier.
Nancy Seidman’s husband, Edward, was diagnosed with stage 4 bone cancer, which had metastasized from lung cancer. Nancy, who was dealing with her own health issues, had a difficult time getting out of the house because her husband needed around the clock care. Edward passed away in April 2017 but Nancy had been nominated in March 2017 by her University of Maryland nurse case manager Linda Hollander for a CaringOn gift.
In October 2017, Nancy finally felt like she could enjoy a posthumous present from her dear husband and enjoyed a day at the spa and a feeling of pampering which was long overdue.
CaringOn is so grateful for what we do to brighten the lives of these tireless caregivers! Thank you for the opportunity.
Maria Joiner, a strong woman diagnosed with colon cancer metastasis, wanted to give her brother Kevin Stewart a gift to thank him for caring for her. As she says, “Kevin is a very quiet, unassuming man that does not like ‘pomp and circumstance’ or even ordinary offers of thanks, like a ‘thank you lunch.’ Kevin is my brother and is the only one of what once was a large family of 10 siblings and their families that I have to depend on for my health needs. I am fearful of how I would manage without him.”
CaringOn gave Kevin and his friend tickets to the Ravens game against the Steelers and a wonderful day enjoying his favorite sports rivalry.
Levesta Jackson-Crute from University of Maryland Medical Center nominated the patient and caregiver.
CaringOn hosted a Butterfly Luncheon on Sunday, April 2, 2017 at Liquid Libs in Baltimore to honor the late Judy Davanzo and her legacy charity. CaringOn’s mission, to thank caregivers of advanced cancer patients by gifting them with a day to “recharge, refresh, and renew,” has touched many lives. Family, friends, volunteers, and donors toasted Judy and CaringOn and celebrated caregivers everywhere for their tireless and selfless care of advanced cancer patients.
In a tribute to the great work of CaringOn, Co-Founder Lee Kappelman introduced a family who received a CaringOn gift. Advanced cancer patient Linda Adamson and University of MD breast cancer support circle leader LeVesta Jackson-Crute nominated Linda’s daughter India Johnson to receive a CaringOn gift. India has been taking care of her mother Linda for several years while holding down a big job and raising her daughter Treasure. Linda and the CaringOn team surprised India at work and presented her with a gift of a relaxing night at a luxury hotel in Baltimore’s Inner Harbor. Linda and India spoke movingly and with great warmth about what this gift meant to them and their journey as a cancer survivor and co-survivor. Thanks to everyone who attended for a great and inspiring day.
Photos from The Butterfly Luncheon
Click on the photos below to view them in full size.
Wanda Bengston, Drew Davanzo, Reese Davanzo
Judy’s Family – Lester Goldberg, Karen Goldberg, Jill Frey, Lisa Sorensen, Andrea Weisenthal, Jeff Walcoff
Lee Kappelman, Susan Ferrer, Levesta Jackson-Krute, Linda Adamson, India Johnson, Treasure
Mercy Hospital Nursing Staff
Drew Davanzo, Reese Davanzo
Kate Sullivan, Susan Ferrer, Lee Kappelman, Luke Sullivan
“’Turn your face toward the sun, and the shadows will fall behind you.”
“’Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.”
“’See the glass as half-full, not half-empty.”
“Researchers are finding that thoughts like these, the hallmarks of people sometimes called “cockeyed optimists,” can do far more than raise one’s spirits. They may actually improve health and extend life.
“There is no longer any doubt that what happens in the brain influences what happens in the body. When facing a health crisis, actively cultivating positive emotions can boost the immune system and counter depression. Studies have shown an indisputable link between having a positive outlook and health benefits like lower blood pressure, less heart disease, better weight control and healthier blood sugar levels.”
Click here to read the full article on The New York Times.
Read Full Article
Read for later
Articles marked as Favorite are saved for later viewing.
Scroll to Top
Separate tags by commas
To access this feature, please upgrade your account.