log dedicated to SugarDating. Catch a glimpse of the world of SugarBaby & SugarDaddy relationships thanks to our experienced authors. Our posts include helpful tips, dos & don'ts as well as real-life stories which can help you find the perfect dating partner.
Can you recognise a kind of soulmate in a person who is 20 or even 30 years younger than you? Some members of Sugardaters® might chuckle and reply that it can’t be done, because multi-generational relationships are nothing more than the kind of ‘marriage of convenience’ that can be characterised as simply paying for someone’s company.
Yet in all the years you’ve been sugar dating, have you ever had the nagging feeling that a sugar baby was close to you? Right away you could connect with her emotions, you could imagine her among her family members and, as if by magic, these thoughts inspired you how to behave and she could confide in you very naturally. Confidence came easily. This is what psychology calls the “mirror effect“.
If you are lucky enough to meet such a person in your dating activities, make sure you take care and don’t let her out of your sight. Unlike sugar dating, which must involve physical intimacy for the relationship to survive, a match like this can lead to something more spiritual, friendship.
But is friendship with someone 20 or 30 years younger than you really possible? After all you do not share the same interests, one being at the dawn of her adult life and the other at the twilight of the prime of his life?
It is true that there are so many things that you don’t have in common (experience, dreams, money and so on) and that may undermine this special notion of the mirror effect.
Nonetheless, stay with the first impression that led you to identify this mirror effect and you will never have to worry about where your relationship might take you. Think of this image you had on the first date as the keel of a ship that guides your way and keeps you afloat, whatever storms may be approaching.
Compromises will need to be made along the way: anyone can have frustrations, complexes and worries. However if you keep an open mind in your relationship, especially when a sugar baby speaks about her seemingly weird, nonsensical wishes and desires, rather than provoking you, isn’t she subconsciously inviting you to discover things you have no experience of?
Sugar Dating represents a dream, an exchange between two people in need.
At the beginning, Sugar Dating is about defining with accuracy your own needs and then putting yourself in the best possible light in order to maximise your chances for finding a compatible person. There is no immediate success, it is the pathway that counts. In other words, what you learn at each step of your experience will determine the quality of your future relationships.
On each date it is crucial to make space in your life for the sugar baby you are interested in. In this way you are giving a real dimension to the relationship. Sugar Dating is definitely not a “quicky” in a brothel. It demands a real emotional investment. Although the financial side exists, it is important not to create a feeling of obligation for your sugar baby. Prepare yourself to suit the role, think like a sugar daddy, yet be natural and relaxed. Whether because of magic or of attraction, some babies will come knocking at your door.
These are the premises of the law of attraction. The more you visualise clearly your objectives the better the chances to find the right one.
There is a kind of faith that you need for sugar dating to work well. Determining objectives is the key for success. For example while considering which type of sexuality suits you the most (in this case sugar dating) will help to set in place scenarios for you to test different situations and find your answers.
On another level, having just a conversation with a good company can be a goal for those who have an introverted nature and look for unlocking hidden aspects of their personality. This will allow them to follow more ambitious goals afterwards.
In any case, the idea of dating as an opportunity of having a good time is a positive mindset. Your attitude and your words will guarantee the success in your project.
Be grateful for each lived experience and believe in yourself from the very start. This way you will empower yourself as a wholesome and happy man.
“I never lose. I either win or learn“, Nelson Mandela.
Social intuition comes with practice. Every Sugar Daddy should learn to get used to a woman’s presence.
Some of the skills that all good Sugar Daddies should have: anticipating reactions, defusing a conflict, knowing how to smoothly propose an outing and others.
However, this is not that easy to acquire, since one of the main issues is that Sugar Daddies have to deal with various personalities in ever changing contexts. This requires the skill to adapt to situations where the Sugar Daddy must put his Sugar Babe’s emotions before his own and take the right decisions with detachment and discernment when it is necessary.
It is of course important for a Sugar Daddy to affirm himself, to undertake and not renounce his crush for a Sugar Babe. However this demands tact and flexibility!
If for example, you and your Sugar Babe are standing at the bar of a club when suddenly you are interrupted by a drunk who has decided to pick up your invitee. That guy is wearisome and it is difficult to get rid of him. You can tell that your Sugar Babe is irritated since she is nearly begging you with her eyes to immediately control this unbearable situation.
In this case a good social intuition would be to stand in a friendly way between him and the Sugar Babe, ask the guy something like ‘Having a nice evening?‘. Then you tell him that it was nice meeting him, you take your Sugar Babe by the hand and, quietly but with confidence you say ‘Come, we need to rejoin the group for one last drink’.
By acting in this way you demonstrate that you can easily shut down a source of conflict by finding instinctively creative solutions, while at the same time, showing your ability to understand the desires of your partner.
It started out as a fun thing to try, with no expectation of continuing it. However, I quickly realised the Sugar Dating is not like media describes it.
What I quickly found out on the site, was that sugar-dating is not just one thing. I have come to realize that you really have two axes that people are on:
One axis is “I really need sugar” vs. “I don’t want sugar”
One axis is “I want fun” vs “I want serious”
I think many people get the wrong picture just by looking at the “I really need sugar” + “I want fun” part of the Sugar Dating community. I have absolutely nothing against people that want that combination, it’s just a huge turn-off for me so I avoid it.
But, at least half of the people I’ve talked to are also NOT in this quadrant: Some just want a mature boyfriend. Some just want to try their sexual fetish. Some just want a new purse while also having fun. You cannot put everyone in the same category.
After having tried all 4 options, I have come to the realization that I am personally much more on the “I don’t want sugar” in combination with a mix of serious and fun. I hate one-night stands, but I am not planning to enter a serious monogamous relationship tomorrow.
The great thing about sugar-dating is the fact that it’s a community of very open-minded, no-bullshit and honest people, which really makes it easy to match expectations. I’ve had so many messages ending with: “I truly respect what you’re seeking, that is just not where I am at the moment.”.
For me, this has meant that whenever I start to communicate with a new person, we start on equal terms. We have matched expectations. We both agree on what we are looking for. There are no surprises.
This is a very pleasant opposition to something like Tinder, where men are probably pretending to be a biiiiit more serious than they are, and women are probably pretending to be in a liiiiittle less rush about babies than they are.
To me, that has meant, I’ve met some amazing people in Sugar Dating. I’ve been with a girl now for 4+ months, there has been no sugar and it’s a very “normal” relationship. The main difference is that there is a significant age-difference combined with a very honest relationship where expectations have been matched.
Had I been in a different situation and been in a different quadrat – my experiences would have differed – and that is the beautiful thing: everyone is different.
Send us some words about your Sugar Dating experiences at email@example.com and maybe you will get a chance to have your story featured in our blogpost. And of course follow SugarDaters Blog on Facebook and Instagram.
Contrary to what many sugardaddies may believe, there are cases where money can work against a sugardaddy’s interests.
“Why is he so special for me to decide to stay with him?” is a question a woman likes to ask, not only in Sugardating but also in any other kind of relationship.
On the one hand, a sugarbaby likes to be praised, to feel as if she is the most beautiful woman and to be the centre of attention. On the other hand (unlike many sugardaddies might believe) she likes to be challenged as well, in the sense that she needs to find reasons to persuade herself to be with you.
Being in the company of other women in front of her, is of course one of the things that you can do in order to provoke her curiosity and to improve her interest in you. However, not letting her know that you are willing to spend money on her (not even talking about money at all) can really be a test for measuring the level of attraction she has for you!
I can recall two particular cases of sugarbabies from SugarDaters that I have dated in the past. During our dates, I chose not to address the question of money at all. I foremost wanted to see how much I could approach her without playing the card of money. After two weeks of a constant exchange of calls and texts I managed to go out with them for dinner AND spend the night with them afterwards, without mentioning money. Then I quickly realised that these sugarbabies were not in need of money in the first place.
If at that stage the sugarbaby does not mention any needs, it would be greatly appreciated from her if you behave like a gentleman offering some gifts to say thank you for her company. She is not obliged to accept but you will feel good about yourself and you will probably get the assurance of one more date with this sugarbaby. Bear in mind that avoiding to give her gifts would be the best thing to do if this is not what the sugarbaby is looking for (which is very unlikely).
That is the reason why I strongly recommend to the beginner sugardaddies to take their time to discuss and to get to know the sugarbaby better before meeting with her in person.
During this “pre-meeting” period, you should keep the following questions in mind: why is she on the site? Does she work? Does she live at her parents’ place? What are her needs on a daily and monthly basis?
For most of the sugar babies, a sugar daddy plays the role of the saviour. He is the one who saves them from parental authority and strict education. He provides them with a door that leads to a life full of experiences where they can also discover their own body.
By replacing the father’s affection, a sugar daddy can be a guide or a mentor as well. Because of his cool and relaxed attitude, whilst giving wise advice about career, love or friendship, the sugar daddy inspires confidence and represents a natural authority free from judgment.
So why would a baby choose one sugar daddy over another?
That will mainly depend on where she stands between her personal assertiveness and her female desires, a balance that is not always easy to find. Consequently, this will probably make her to “test” her sugar daddy in order to reach her decision.
This is a master manipulator. The master manipulator is for example the sugar baby who cannot stop talking to her sugar daddy about her other relationships. This type of sugar baby knows that a sugar daddy who feels that he has a competitor having previously considered himself the only man on the scene will be affected by his injured ego. So he tells to himself:” why doesn’t my sugar baby just appreciate me for what I am and for the good moments that we share?”.
The master manipulator knows very well that when her sugar daddy is put in a competitive environment, he becomes vulnerable and doesn’t feel unique anymore. This is her chance to shift his role from saviour to victim and to take control of the relationship. When this is done, she releases herself from her status of a girl missing affection for a much more exciting role: the torturer.
So sugar daddies make sure that you spot the master manipulator from the very beginning. Being unaware of her game can quickly lead to loss of self-confidence, which will then lead to the end of the sugar dating relationship.
Finally, it is up to sugar daddies to be clear about what their sugar baby is expecting from them. They must be careful not to fall into a kind of dependent relationship because then, they will have to accept that their sugar baby (who at first glance looks very innocent) is in reality a “femme fatale”.
Sugar daddies represent experience and wisdom. However, after the age of 40, not all of them know which direction their sentimental life should take. Although, sugar dating for some just means entertainment, for some others it is a real initiation course that usually occurs after a divorce at an age when their personal values are questioned. The beauty of sugar dating is the period when it happens: it is the time when sugar babies (women at the end of their adolescence) meet sugar daddies (men at the beginning of their emotional reconstruction period). At the age of forty (or even more), some men embrace the image of a “holy mother” by considering well educated model girls as their own daughters. They then start to play the role of guide advisor and protector. They support them. They become their sugar daddies.
In my personal story, I have been spending time with sugar babies who were far away from this perfect image. After many years of spending energy and time in trying to set up a stable relationship, there were times that I found myself being emotionally lost. Sugar babies are changing all the time. They want to test their emotional resistance. They want to venture out into new sexual experiences. After passing through different stages, I suddenly couldn’t understand anything more. I was stuck in an one-way relationship with someone who was desiring something completely different from what I wanted.
I believe it would be nice if sugar daddies question themselves about their own visions of love, couple life and youth. I would also warmly recommend that sugar daddies read books such as “Fifty Shades of Grey” in order to get a good understanding of sugar babies’ versatility. Also, sugar daddies should always question themselves about their own nature in the couple: are they dominant or submissive? Do they have some tendencies towards suffering or hurting their partner? This is important so they can identify their expectations in the most sustainable way possible.
We simply can’t get enough of becoming more familiar with our members lifestyle, and what is a better way to do so, than to run yet another survey.
This time we’d like to get straight to business and ask you about your financial relationship with your SugarBabe. Do you think your babe’s wishes are too demanding? How much of your income actually goes on keeping her spoiled?
If you want to participate, go ahead and answer three simple questions in the survey below. Each daddy’s opinion counts and all answers are completely anonymous. We can’t wait to see the results! The final data may be used for marketing purposes.
Have you already taken part into the #10yearschallenge movement? If not, we invite you to do so but with a twist. To be precise we dare you to think about at where would you see yourself in 10 years from now.
A sugar babe's 10 years challenge - YouTube
Which category are you in? “Once a Sugar Babe, always a Sugar Babe? Or you would see yourself more in “From Sugar Babe to Sugar Mama?”
If you’ve watched our short video, leave a comment below saying where do you think you’re gonna be in 10 years from now.