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Lansing, Mich. --- In an effort to enforce Sabbath observance guidelines, the Michigan Conference is distributing pedometers that will measure steps taken by Adventists on Sabbath. Pedometer data Read more [...]
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ADVENTIST WORLD ---  Adventist Churches the world over are installing cell signal blockers to combat chronic member distraction during services. "I am sick of hearing members say that they Read more [...]
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LOMA LINDA, Calif. --- Loma Linda University has announced a degree in Last Chance Courtship that allows students to do nothing but walk around campus flirting with medical students for four years. Read more [...]
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PASADENA, Calif. --- Local Adventist deaconess, Hjalp Mig, has pitched a tent on the roof of her house to get some peace and quiet away from what she described to friends as a "quarrelsome husband Read more [...]
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ADVENTIST WORLD - Sabbath potlucks will never be the same again. In response to decades of complaints from Adventists about potluck line wait times, the denomination has made the decision Read more [...]
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BREAKING NEWS LOMA LINDA, Calif. --- An interdisciplinary team of researchers at Loma Linda University announced today that they have perfected a blood test that can tell, without a shadow Read more [...]
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BERRIEN SPRINGS, Md. --- Speaking to an adoring crowd of Andrews students and Berrien Springs residents, South Bend, Indiana mayor and presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg vowed to "put first Read more [...]
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COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. --- Ellen and James Casados fled their own wedding festivities minutes after the ceremony ended today. Telling themselves that their guests would do just as fine at the reception Read more [...]
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WASHINGTON, D.C. --- An independent panel of experts with nothing better to do have just completed an exhaustive reading of the recently-released Mueller Report and the most up-to-date edition Read more [...]
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SILVER SPRING, Md. ---  Adventist Risk Management has filed for bankruptcy after what it called an "apocalyptically-devastating insurance claim" filed by the Notre Dame cathedral this week. ARM Read more [...]
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