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I guess you would say we have a relationship which to most outward appearances is good. Family and career all on track. However I've had big issues for going on for two years now about her sex drive and something she said the other day just about killed me. Bit of background first.

I have a reasonably high sex drive, quite kinky, she's not. Also to add complications I'm bisexual. To be clear I've never asked for or wanted an open relationship or the like, only been in relationships with girls and prefer them. We tried pegging once which is all i want now and again and it went ok but she totally wasnt into it. With all of the above I was from the start open and honest about who i was and she seemed to be at least moderately enthusiastic in trying out some new stuff.

For nearly two years now our sex life has been to me below average at best. She has a very tough job and works shifts and recently spent 6 months of most of her spare time revising for career exams so no doubt shes tired and I for my part have done what i can to support her. I've also tried talking to her about what i like and what we can do to improve the situation but it falls on deaf ears.

Its the same thing every time. We have it once a week at best, more likely once every two, anything more frequent is shut down. I will be the one to initiate 99 times out of 100. I have to schedule sex in with her practically 12 hours in advance, like let her know in the morning I'd like sex in the evening, and when we finally do its 15 minutes of warm up before she starts to show signs of enthusiasm and passion. Up to then its mostly laying there. Same two positions. We've had spur of the moment sex once in the past year and that was just unprompted sleep-in saturday morning sex. There's just no expression of sexuality from her, even down to her fashion choices, and im tired of being the only one to show interest and energy.

Obvious answer to the obvious question, yes I've tried talking to her and I've been brushed off every time. "Im putting pressure on her. Its totally normal. Its no different to her friends. I dont understand what your problem is" etc. She literally cant see whats wrong and wont have an open conversation about what we want. Also yes she enjoys it, she gets way above the average orgasms and can even come from penetration. And its definitely not a physical attraction issue towards me.

Things came to a head the other week. I dropped somehints about pegging for the first time in two years and she completely shut them down. She just came straight out and said its not something shes willing to do and if its that big a deal and i cant go the rest of my life without it i need to break up with her. I was completely taken aback by this and deflected onto just wanting to get up to twice a week regular sex and same response. "Im not changing so you need to end this if its not enough for you"

This has screwed me up a lot the past few weeks. I love her but the fact we cant even have an open conversation about something as minor as having sex twice a week is killing me. And its painfully obvious now that my bisexuality is something shes ashamed of and she expects to be hidden.

If feel like there's not much choice but to make my peace with disatisfaction or take her up on her ultimatum?

TL;DR Girlfriends lack of sex drive is killing me. She said i need to leave if i cant deal with it because she has no intention of changing

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I also posted this in /r/relationship_advice but this version is probably slightly easier to read. Sorry in advance for the grammatical errors and rambling. This is my first time writing a lot of this out.

I (22f) broke up with my boyfriend (22m) of about 4 years a couple of weeks ago. The break up didn’t go as I thought, and we both ended up crying together for about two hours with him telling me he’d do anything for me to stay. I broke up with him for multiple reasons. He was controlling, and he had a mean streak. In turn, I had a lot of resentment towards him and got stuck in this cycle of lashing out, feeling bad, then overcompensating.

He wouldn’t let me go out to a bar with my friends past 10 pm. If I wanted to he’d say things like “I’m not looking for that type of girl, if you want someone above average and with my drive you have to make more sacrifices than average, etc.” he would never allow me to hangout with any of my guy friends alone (many who I’ve been friends with for 10+ years), and had many other controlling behaviors. When I broke up with him he said he’d be willing to compromise. He said I could go out until midnight, and gave me a list of rules along with that including things like: I had to have a weapon or pepper spray, I had to be with people he knew, I’d have to share my location, show no cleavage, etc.

Other than these behaviors, he really was super loving and sweet to me most of the time, and we went through several tragic life events together. At the end of our break up conversation, I told him we could talk again in a few weeks when I had more space and time. Since then, my brain will only allow me to think of the good times we’ve shared and how much I miss him, I’ve been crying myself to sleep at night and waking up crying. I feel like I’m in mourning. He’s been my best friend and companion for four years and my heart is completely broken. I’m struggling with being the one that made this decision, and I’m worried I’ll be filled with regret for the rest of my life. I’m supposed to talk to him soon, and I’m scared he’s going to successfully convince me to come back. In my heart, I do want to be with him, but I know it’s not right and the cycle will only continue. I’m really at a loss at what to say to him when we do talk. Part of me wants to let him know that I don’t want this to be forever, but then I know he won’t change. I don’t know, I suppose I’m seeking advice on what to say, how to stay strong, and really just validation that I’m doing the right thing? If you’ve read this far, I really appreciate you.

TL;DR: me and my boyfriend broke up a couple of weeks ago because he has some controlling behaviors that have led me to resent him. I’m scared he’s going to convince me to stay when we talk again and need advice/help in staying strong.

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The majority of my life my mom has been a very controlling and stubborn person. This most likely led to my parents’ divorce. Her behavior became much worse after their split. I’ve lived with her since and I have never been allowed to leave my house and hang out with my friends without a looming sense of anxiety about my curfew and what would happen if I didn’t get home on time.

The older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve taken to lying and sneaking out. I’ve gotten caught a couple of times and I’ve been verbally abused for hours on end after these incidents. Her behavior affects my step-father as well; we’ve had several heart to hearts about how her abuse is taking a toll on us and how she needs help (She will take any attempts of us offering help as an insult/attack). We are both constantly walking on eggshells around her, fearing her next outburst over a dirty fork in the sink.

She had an eating disorder earlier in her life that I think she still has not fully recovered from. We are not allowed to eat any carbs, sugars, or anything containing high amounts of sodium. She goes to the gym probably everyday. I would secretly UberEats McDonald’s at night and throw away the bag in the neighbor’s bin to hide it from her because I was so scared she would find out. She constantly calls me fat and tells me I need to try harder to look more presentable.

In January of this year I moved 4 hours away for college and have honestly never been happier. Now that I’m back home for the summer, I’m a bit depressed. I’m not allowed to come home after midnight and I’m not allowed to go to my boyfriend’s house. I’m supposed to come home straight after work (I’ve been working since I was about 16 and don’t rely on her for money at all). Any plans I make with my friends to go out, she takes as a personal attack. I have never even brought friends home out of fear of inconveniencing her. I’m not even allowed to sleepover at my best friend’s house that I’ve known since I was 12. If I go out to eat, she yells at me about how I eat shit all day and that’s why I’m fat.

She grounded me last month for having food poisoning because my puking kept her up at night. I spend my days constantly avoiding her. Last night, she caught me in a lie. I slept at my boyfriend’s house without her permission. I’m really scared to go back home. I know that it’s her house her rules, but is her behavior normal?

TL;DR: Am I just an asshole teenager for wanting to stay out late and spend time with my friends, seeing as I technically don’t live at home anymore, or is my mom a control freak?

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Reddit » Relationships by /u/normalgorlnotcrazy - 2h ago

Found a message between my (24f) bf (26f) of 5 months and friend from when we first started dating (accidentally, his laptop was open on the conversation as they hadn’t spoken in months) and he said that I was the nicest down to earth girl he has ever come across, he used the words “most non toxic person I’ve met”. But then proceeded to say he wished I had the “fire” some girls do in being a little crazy.

Wtf? Am I boring because I’m not emotionally unhinged? Do most guys feel this way? I’m actually quite happy with the way I am just a little put off by this comment and hoping to make sense of it

TL;DR - My (24f) boyfriend (26m) of 6 months told his friend he wished I was more crazy. I’m a mature self assured woman who doesn’t play games. Do guys genuinely like crazy?

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Basically me and a few of my friends planned to have a party at my house this summer. It was just going to be us, like only 6 of us, but my friends starting telling their friends about it and that my parents wouldn’t be home, and eventually it got to the point where like 25 girls ended up planning on coming. I made it a strict rule that I didn’t want any guys to be there since I didn’t want the party to be full of assholes hitting on girls and trying to get them really drunk. Not that I don’t enjoy going to parties with guys, but for this one I wanted it to be just us girls having a good time.

My little brother that’s two years younger than me (he’ll be a sophomore next year) is fairly socially awkward and I wanted to include him. He never goes to parties or anything so I figured that I would have him come hang out with us, and I thought it may help him become a bit more social. I asked my close friends if they cared (because tbh I only care about their opinions) and they said they were cool with it. The party had started for about an hour and I went to his room and told him to come down, and after some persuasion I convinced him to join us. He put on his swimsuit and was hanging out in the pool and everyone was having a good time. All of us were drinking besides him, because he hasn’t been drunk before (I’ve let him have a few beers on occasion but he’s never gotten drunk). At one point I went inside with a few of my close friends to try to find a deck of cards in my house for drinking games, and we were looking for like maybe ten minutes and I heard my little brother yelling about something outside, and I figured he was being silly or something and didn’t think anything of it. And then I heard and bunch of girls start laughing, so I wanted to see what was going on so I went outside.

It turns out that during the time me and my friends were inside, one of the girls that I don’t even know pulled my brothers swimsuit down and stole it from him. While he was trying to get it back one of her friends grabbed his arms and held them behind him. And then together they lifted him up so that everyone could see him naked. Once I walked out and saw him exposed and crying and them doing that to him, I screamed at them to let him go, and they did and he grabbed his swimsuit back and put it on, and quickly went inside. I told the two girls that did that to leave immediately and that what they did was fucked up and not even remotely funny, and they left fairly quickly. I almost wanted to shut the party down but we had planned this night for over 6 months so I didn’t, and things carried on fairly normally. I went up to my brothers room and I could hear him crying and his door was locked, and he wouldn’t let me in. I stood there for like five minutes trying to get him to talk to me, and eventually gave up since he wasn’t even responding. I went back down and partied for a while but I didn’t have much of good of a time. Things wrapped up at like 1 AM and I only let my close friends stay the night, and I had everyone else either Uber or get someone to pick them up.

So that was over a week ago, and my brother has been acting differently ever since. He hardly leaves his room and he’s clearly mad at me. I’ve tried talking to him a few times, but he thinks that it’s all my fault that it happened since I “made” him come party with us. And he’s convinced that now everyone at school is going to know about what happened and know that he has a small penis, saying that two of the girls that saw it have sisters in his grade, and that there were at least 15 girls that saw it and that his reputation is completely ruined. I’ve tried telling him that it’s not and that no one is telling anyone about his penis, but he won’t believe me. Every time I try to talk to him he gets upset and won’t talk to me. I even bought him an Xbox game that he wanted, and he thanked me for it but still isn’t acting any different towards me.

We have a sister (she’s 16) and she found out about it, and she’s been giving him a really hard time about it. She keeps telling him that girls have a picture of his penis on their phones and that everyone is going to know about it and see it before school starts next year. I’m quite sure no one took a picture of him but I’m not certain, and I know that if they did they’d be in huge trouble since he’s 15, so my guess is no one did. And I’ve told him that, but he’s paranoid and our sister has him freaked out about it. I’ve told her on multiple occasions to cut it out and that it’s already bothering him enough, but she won’t listen to me. I don’t know how to get through to her.

I know the first reaction most of you will probably have is to tell me to tell my parents or the cops. Both seem like good ideas, but my brother insists that I don’t tell either one. He doesn’t care that the girls involved get into trouble, and that being the case, he doesn’t want our parents to know either. I told him what they did was illegal, and he knows that, but said that what’s done is done and involving more people would just humiliate him more. I personally would want to call the cops, but he insists that I don’t, and I respect his choice. Same with our parents. I think it would only cause him more embarrassment, and on top of that my parents are extremely strict and would absolutely lose their shit if they knew there was a party at our house. They’re currently on a trip in Spain and this is the sort of thing they would cut their trip short and come home for. I would get into a ton of trouble (not that I care, tbh I probably deserve it) but he would get into trouble as well, seeing as he participated in the party and also didn’t tell them about it when he knew I was having it. Although it may seem logical to tell them about it, in the end I would imagine it will just make things worse for him, and he’s told me he feels the same way.

If you read all of this, thank you. I need any advice that any of you could think of if you can think of anything because I’m out of ideas and it’s driving me crazy. I can tell he’s really sad about all of this and if I’m honest I do feel a bit responsible for what happened, so basically I’m trying to figure out any way possible that I can get him to feel better about all of this and stop being so sad, and if possible I want to know how to get my sister to leave him alone about it. Thanks in advance to any of you that take the time to try to help me out.

So my question here is how do I handle this? What are ways that I can make my brother feel better? Do I just need to give him more time? I would also like to know any tips any of you may have as to how to get my sister to leave him alone.

TL;DR: My friends and I threw a pool party at my house, and while I was inside two girls took my brother’s swimsuit off and held him out of the water naked for everyone to see. Now he’s extremely sad and holds me responsible, and our sister is making things worse by picking on him about it, and I’m at a loss as to how to handle the situation and need some advice.

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Hey everyone. I need help.

Gonna be a bit long but I'll put a TL;DR at the end.

So, growing up my parents were always super controlling and I had no privacy, which led to me having a hard time trusting people close to me with information, and I've become a bit of a compulsive liar. I lie about dumb, irrelevant shit because I get scared people are going to overreact.

When I was finally 18, I pulled myself together and moved out. It was rough, I was only making $600 a month, but my grandpa helped me get a car and I managed to find a cheap room to rent, so I got by.

Life was rough for a while. I was dating a boy, long distance about six hours away, who couldn't drive yet and wanted me to come visit him like once a month. This was also a huge financial drain. A few months into being on my own, I wrecked my car. I knew a guy who could fix it for fairly cheap but I was still on a shoestring budget so I decided to get a second job.

This doubled my tiny income. I was working 16-hour days but I didnt mind, I was happy just to be free. Got my car fixed. At this second job, I met my ex.

We had chemistry right away. From the moment I met him. I started thinking about him all the time. I remember one day, driving home from my then-boys house, and all I could think about was this coworker. Eventually, I decided I wanted to leave the boy I was dating and date my coworker.

I initiated the relationship. I asked for his number. After I got his number, I asked if I could bring him food after work. He said yes. We hung out once, twice...and the rest is history.

He wouldnt even call me his girlfriend for at least the first few months. We started seriously hanging out in December, and he didnt agree that yeah, we were dating, until March. But he finally did, and we started dating for real. We both got better jobs, at the same place again, and the relationship got pretty serious.

Twice in our relationship we have broken up and gotten back together, the first time initiated by me, and the second by him. These were largely due to communication issues. I broke up with him because I felt like we had different long term goals; he broke up with me because he was hurt I left him. Both times we talked it through and resolved it.

Eventually, about a year and a half ago, we got a place together. I had pushed for this, I wanted us to be independent together. I wanted to get married, have kids, but he was reluctant. Every time I pushed for this he pushed back. He said he wanted marriage and kids too but he never really acted like it or tried to work towards that.

Shortly after we got our place, his brother (25) moved in with us. He was in a bad place and we were helping him out so we let him live with us rent free for a while. After about four months, he finally got a job and started paying us minimal rent.

I had accumulated a decent amount of credit card debt amongst all this and early this year, they started cutting my hours at work and I was having trouble paying my bills. Boyfriend offered to pay a little more to help out and I accepted and offered to do his laundry and a bit more housework in exchange.

We started to get into fights about this. I wasnt doing enough housework, when I asked for help he said he was paying more and this was my job, when I argued that his brother was paying even less than me and didnt even do any housework, he just got defensive. I felt like all my time was either work or school or chores and all he did was work, and then play video games and go out with friends without me.

I felt like he didnt respect me enough to marry me, like he expected me to do all of his housework and work and go to school while he did nothing with his life but maintain his status quo. I felt like I was driving everything forward and he was just being dragged along.

I was overwhelmed and exhausted and I felt unheard. I became depressed, did even less housework, and then started going to therapy.

That helped me gain a little bit more self-confidence, and I decided, after thinking about it for a couple weeks and talking to my parents, that I should move out. I told him on the Tuesday after Easter I was breaking up with him and then moved out and back in with my parents on Wednesday.

I made sure he was gonna be ok financially; I didnt leave him stranded. I gave him all of our savings. I left him with a budget sheet. He was gonna be ok, with money.

But I completely abandoned him. Thinking about it now makes my heart ache more than anything I've ever experienced.

In addition to that, in the weeks after the breakup I turned to sex and rebounds to try to run away from the pain. I had sex with three men within the next two months, one just a week after I left. One of them was someone he knew.

I was trying to forget. I was trying to run away from the feelings, and that was how I tried to cope.

About six weeks after the breakup he texted me, asking to talk. I assumed he just wanted closure but after talking to him a little bit I realized I missed him. I missed him horribly. We talked in person and I tentatively brought up the idea of thinking about getting back together.

He was open to talking about it. I told him some thi ga would have to change, and we talked about it. I told him about one hookup, but I was so scared for the budding relationship I didnt tell him about the other two, but he could sense something was off.

Finally, about two weeks into us talking again, he texted me out of the blue asking me if I had fucked around with anyone else. I wanted to deny it, but I also didnt want to go into the relationship with any secrets, so I told him.

What followed was the worst day of, I'm pretty sure, both of our lives. He called me, screaming. He said some pretty nasty things. I wanted to die, and let him scream. He calmed down a bit, got worried about me, called my mom and she came to find me. Talked to her, I calmed down, and then I met with my ex to talk about it.

He was so hurt and he kept saying he hated me and when he finally got all his anger out, he admitted he did love me but he couldn't do this anymore. I begged him to try again but he said he didnt know if he could heal from this.

We parted ways, agreeing to meet for lunch in six months but I expected no contact till then.

The next night he texted me. I was shocked. He mostly just wanted to vent. The day after, he texted me after work and asked me to hang out. I was shocked and thought maybe he wanted to talk about something? But he said he just wanted to hang out. We hung out, had sex, I slept over. Did that again two days later.

Started talking about relationship. He says he still doesnt know but hes willing to talk about it. I'm encouraging him to go to therapy after all this, to help him heal and give him some clarity.

Any other man would be long gone, and I dont know why hes still talking to me.

In addition to all this, being back at home has been miserable. My dad acts like he either doesnt care, or is super disappointed in literally everything about me. I thought things would be different but they still feel the same as I did when I was 18 and I feel suffocated and unwanted by my own family.

Friday I kind if had a meltdown. He let me come over because I was feeling down and I couldn't help it. I was bawling in his arms about leaving him, about how much I hurt him, about how miserable I was at my family's house. He held me, asked me what he could do, I told him the only thing I wanted was to try Us again but I couldn't ask that of him. He sort of avoided talking about that and kept asking if there was anything else he could do.

Eventually I composed myself. He really wanted to have sex after and I let him becaus me I felt bad for breaking down but I was starting to get really insecure about our relationship, I started to wonder if he was really even thinking about it again or just trying to use me as a short-term emotional and sexual feel-better.

All this weekend hes been kind of distant. He texted me a little Saturday but stopped replying and theres been nothing since then. I know hes ok, he went to a party and I saw his snaps, but he just is low key ignoring me?

I feel sick to my stomach every day. I want to die. Like, actually. I'm thinking about buying a little gas generator, locking myself in my car and falling asleep forever, because I did this. This is all my fault. I fucked up, I didnt communicate properly, I left this man who is so loving and so loyal, I burned his while heart to ashes and now he probably wants nothing to do with me, I have very few, almost no friends and I'm pretty sure they are all tired of me, and my own family doesnt even want me around. I hurt the only person in my life who mattered and now I have the audacity to ask him to come back? But hes all I want. I hate myself with a burning passion and every day I want to die.

What can I do? Is there anything I can do, to help him, to help us? To show him I'm ready to change, to be better for the sake of our relationship? To work as hard as I need to, to fix what I've done? I hate myself so much.

TL;DR I broke up with a man who loved me because I was too scared to tell him my problems, slept with 3 other men in two months, and now I want him back and feel immense guilt about everything.

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So there's a popular pharmacy/store where it's known for their long receipts and last time I was there I had my email added to their system so it would stop printing the obnoxiously long receipts and the coupons that print out would be emailed to my email. My whole family uses the same number since we've been long time members. We rarely even purchase stuff at this store because sometimes they are pricier than other stores, this would be our last resort or "emergency" stop for us.

My brother (Who I will refer to as "Derrick"from now on) is off on business and he happened to go to one of these stores in the city he is staying in and to my surprise I received the receipt into my email and it showed me every single item purchased. The receipt has the location where the items were purchased so I know it was "Derrick". "Derrick" had left this morning maybe 6 am and the time of purchase was around 2 pm. "Derrick" bought sports drink, candy, lube and condoms(pack of 3). I was confused when I saw this email since I was at work. I figured that MAYBE his wife (who i will refer to as "Virginia") had gone with him and they were going to ya know, do some stuff together, whatever, cool. But Virginia was at home by herself. It being fathers day I waited to see my mom later on to ask her if "Virginia" had gone on the trip as well. Mom said no. So I asked if my "Derrick" ever mentioned meeting a coworker at the airport or maybe they saw this person at the terminal as well, and another no. My mom seemed confused by my questions so I stopped asking them and continued with our lives. She had mention that "Virginia" was at home and didn't want to come join our fathers day dinner.

My brother was diagnosed with bp2 and I don't want him to go into a psychosis again or have him institutionalized. I know his actions are not my fault but I just don't know how to tell "Virginia". I'm sure he's having an affair with a coworker. I already have a place to stay in case this boils over since "Derrick" is known to not recognize me/gets violent during psychosis.

My plan was to tell "Virginia" the day "Derrick" is due back, which is in maybe 3 days, i dont know exactly, but i dont know how to word it. Tell her in person? text? screenshot only? im scared.

​

TLDR: brother bought condoms and lube, wife isn't with him. he's on a business trip. Don't know when or how to tell his wife. we all live together.

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So I’m not even sure if I can post this here. I’ve been to several pages and all have some rule that interfere with my post or don’t allow text posts but I {22 F} recently ran into an ex{26 M} of mine who when we broke up I essentially ghosted him(which I will explain in a bit) but we were talking and it was super awkward and he just goes “can I ask why you just ghosted me” and I explained why and how I was freaked out and he didn’t understand and thought I would enjoy it. So here’s the “it”: I was 20 at the time and he was 24. We had been together for about 4 months at this point. I lived in a student apartment at the time so we didn’t live together but he was staying over. We were a very sexually active couple. Our relationship probably focused too much on that tbh. He was always into trying new kinky stuff which, I’m always down to try anything once but it was never anything crazy. And outside of the bedroom he was such a good boyfriend and never showed signs of being a weirdo. Well one night I wasn’t feeling good so we didn’t have sex and he just slept over. So we’re sleeping (or I am) and I wake up to him moaning and I felt a sensation inside me. I thought it was a sex toy and after this I honestly wish it was. Then as I wake up more I’m noticing how weirdly cold it is. I turn on the light and THIS MAN PUT A CUCUMBER FROM MY FRIDGE INSIDE ME AND WAS GETTING OFF TO THAT. I immediately ask him to get his things and leave and he does and he starts blowing up my phone. I shower and sit on my bed floored. Never having been through anything like that. It freaked me out to the point of literally ghosting him. I couldn’t bring myself to speak to him. Because not only did he literally stick a vegetable inside me but was getting off to doing something sexual to me while I was literally asleep. So this story might make a few of you laugh and that’s alright it would probably make anyone laugh I’m just stunned that here we are two years later and he STILL couldn’t understand why I ghosted him or why I didn’t think that was hot???? I’m not really looking for anything I just needed to share this because literally WTF???

TL;DR: ex bf stuck a vegetable inside me and still wonders why I ghosted him

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Throwaway cause I’m uncomfortable. I’m on mobile, sorry if there’s issues.

My (F27) ex was a big part of my life as teenager and all this was pretty formative. He (M27) was my best friend for about a year and we dated for 2 and a half years from age 15. Things ended less than ideal, he got into drugs and it spiraled for him, we eventually broke up. It was a painful experience as a teenager and took years to get over.

It’s been about 10 years since I’ve seen or talked to him, I haven’t thought about him in years. Yesterday I get a phone call from a old mutual friend telling me he died. I wasn’t shocked by the call but I felt a bit sick hearing it. Since that phone call I’ve had a few random people from that time reach out and tell me there’s sorry and they hope I’m okay.

I don’t know how to feel, it’s been such a long time and I don’t feel like I have a right to be sad or if sad is the emotion I’m feeling? I feel uncomfortable that people are saying sorry for you loss to me as we broke up ten years ago. I just really feel horrible about the whole thing, I was happy enough living our separate lives and never seeing him again but now I know he’s dead I feel sick. How do deal with this?

TL;DR an important ex from 10 years ago died, and I feel horribly uncomfortable with how to process it.

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So for the last year I've been dating the most amazing girl. We clicked on every level.

At first we were seeing each other casually, as I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I was in the headspace that I would be single for my whole life, and would never get settled down. But I met this girl and just fell head over heals. After seeing each other casually for about 6 months I asked her if she wanted to get more serious, and she agreed.

At the beginning she seemed very worried that I would leave her and break her heart. I resolved to prove to her that I would never do this, and show her that I thought she was the one. I did everything I could to support her in her goals and aspirations and help us create a stable life together.

We were going on overseas trip next month, where I was planning to propose. We had discussed marriage in the past and we both agreed that’s where we were heading in our relationship.

Everything was going well for both of us, and I thought she loved me as much as I did her. But last month when I went to pick her up for a date she dumped me unexpectedly. She said that she felt that she had become too dependant on me, and wanted to achieve things on her own.

She cited times that I helped her over the course of the relationship, like encouraging her to apply for a better job and helping her prep for the interview, and helping her move house. I thought that I was just being a good boyfriend, but she seemed to take the fact that she needed help as failure on her part or something.

I’m so devastated. I tried to remain friends with her, but her answers to my texts were so curt, and I kept getting drunk and pouring my heart out and I could tell I was just annoying her. So I blocked her, along with a message stating it was more to stop myself messaging her than to stop her messaging me.

The last month I’ve been on an absolute self destructive path. I started drinking again (after 6 months sober) and I’ve been struggling with a constant feeling that suicide is an option. I’ve always been pretty emotionally dull, never really getting too sad own too happy, but since the breakup I’m just so emotional and I don’t know how to deal with it. I cried afterwards for the first time in years. I feel like years of not allowing myself to be in touch with my emotions has led me to the point where I don’t know to deal with this sort of pain in a healthy way.

I tried to hang myself from my doorknob with a belt the other day, but I couldn’t get the belt to stay hooked on. I just broke down, half laughing at my own stupidity and went out for a smoke.

I don’t know how to ask for help from those around me. I’m supposed to be the stoic one that listens to my friends issues and delves out advice. From the outside I’m doing fine. My friends have commented on how well I’m dealing with things, and that I’ve pretty much moved on. But in reality I’m heading out every night and just getting shit-faced with strangers and trying to kill myself occasionally. I feel like a fraud.

I’m so confused and not sure how to deal with the fact that I’m not going to spend my life with this amazing woman, and that she considers leaving me a positive step in her life.

TL;DR: Got dumped, not sure what my next step should be.

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